Searching for oblivion (open)

[Percie Hobbes]

So....it wasn't the best time in her life. Little more than seventy-two hours ago Percie Hobbes had been told, very kindly that she would (very likely) never have children. Her odds of getting struck by lightning were higher than her getting pregnant. She snorted into her whiskey at the thought. It wasn't funny, not by any means, but she was so drunk at this point that a lot of things seemed funny. She'd closed her business for a few days...maybe several as she tried to cope with the utterly devastating news she'd been gifted with and to get as drunk as possible so she could be numb for awhile. All the whiskey was working. She had yet to shower that day and her clothes were ill-fitting and wrinkled a very far cry from her usually clean, well-groomed self. Her hair was piled onto the top of her head in a messy bun and she had dragged herself into one of the smaller bars in town in order to avoid anyone potentially finding her and asking questions she wasn't sure she could answer without bursting into uncontrollable sobbing.

She sat alone in a small booth with a nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels and a bucket of slowly melting ice thanks to the cranked up AC. Percie knew that she needed companionship at this point but didn't have anyone she wanted to call. She slumped onto the table, worn smooth by years of repeated wipes with a damp cloth, resting her cheek on the wood as she exhaled, unfocused eyes staring into the dimness of the bar. She waved away a concerned waitress and sat up, finishing the whiskey in the glass before finishing off the whiskey in the bottle. She took a moment to recover, felt sufficiently ready to face the new reality her life had become and paid her tab. She again waved off any concern, slurring that she only lived a short distance away before tottering off into the night. She didn't get very far before she'd had to stop to puke in an alley, wiping her mouth roughly on the sleeve of her shirt before continuing on her way. Eventually she found herself a place to sit and collapsed gratefully, head thrown back over the back of the bench as she contemplated the inky black sky above her. She reached up to rub her hands over her eyes tiredly and exhaled with a whimper.

She knew she would need to face her reality eventually...but for just a little longer to wallow in her misery was okay right? She could be hurt and vulnerable...just this once. She could go back to being herself soon...

[Jade Coswell]

Days came, days went, days lasted forever and they vanished in the blink of an eye. It was a shame that people didn't often get a choice as to which day stretched out into eternity and which one was gone before it could be properly savored. Time flies when you're having fun... but then when there's no fun to be had the batteries in the clock seem to die and the earth just stops turning, none the wiser that life goes on even on the worst of days.

Now.. today wasn't the worst of days.. It definitely wasn't one to write home about, but it wasn't the worst. Today was one of those slow, too-calm, grey days. The kind that usually came before or after some rather severe weather.. and the previous day had been bright and beautiful. Jade was on her way into a nice little depressive episode. She figured it happened to everyone and just hoped it passed by as quickly as it came on. Everyone had baggage, everyone had issues and imperfections and hopes and dreams that had never come true. Everyone had things that just weighed them down now and then.. and sometimes that weight just dragged them down and made it exceedingly difficult to get up off the floor for a few days or weeks.

So a woman dressed not unlike Percie herself (though wearing a thinner top with 3/4 sleeves and much more worn jeans) walked down a random street near some little hole-in-the-wall bar. Walking was at least some kind of movement.. and some movement was better than no movement. At least it passed the time, slowly but surely. On the downhill into a slump.. the scenery was less important than the movement. It seemed silly to go out to the lake when there were perfectly walkable streets right here in town. Of course, then there was always certain kinds of scenery that snapped one out of their introspective shuffle.. Like the woman that had just stumbled out of an alley.. who seemed to have had several too many and appeared to be wiping the remains of vomit from her face.

Jade's shoulders sank as her heart jumped just a tiny bit. Misery loved company, after all. And it was never the wrong time to do a good deed.. Especially for a fellow lady who.. really did look like she could probably use a helping hand. Before Jade caught up, the woman had collapsed onto a bench and was staring up at the sky. It was a sad scene, but one that Jade knew well. She'd been there. What she didn't know was that she'd been there for the same reason this woman was there now. Maybe she'd find out in time, but for now general compassion would have to do.. and so she plopped down next to this person who wreaked of whiskey and let out a soft sigh.

"Quite a few people hate the fall.. but it seems to me that summer is worse. You always get the best news and the worst news in the summer.. Sunburns tainting pool parties and harsh light making everything a little too real." She pulled something from the small backpack she'd been wearing and there was a spark of fire.. followed shortly by a somewhat skunky if pleasant and floral aroma. "But I do have something here that might help with your upset stomach.. and even if you don't want my help, I'm going to make sure you get home. I would hope someone did the same for me, after the fact."

[Percie Hobbes]

Percie sat there in silence for a moment as she let those few, scant tears fall down the side of her face before she wiped them away. She took a deep breath and sat up properly, only to fold forward again, elbows resting on her knees with her head in her hands. She found the scent of the woman's cigarette comforting as she took deep, calming breaths. There was a bit more silence before Percie dropped her hands from her face and let them drop between her knees. "I don't really have a favorite," she finally said in a raspy voice that had been more used to sobbing than talking for the last three days.

"I'm not sure if my stomach is upset enough to need calming, but I wouldn't mind help home. But just give me a moment, I don't really want to be alone right now," she admitted as she reached up to scratch her unkempt hair. "Can I bum a cigarette?" she asked. Percie wasn't known for smoking but she had participated a few times when she was very, very drunk and one happened to be nearby. She rubbed against her eyes and kept taking deep breaths to clear her head. Her eyes were still blurry and unfocused for the most part and she was rather enjoying it…as long as she kept her eyes closed.

[Jade Coswell]

"Oh, this isn't a cigarette, sweetheart.. But you're more than welcome to a hit or two if you'd like. This is cannabis. A strain I call 'bleeding heart'. Heavy indica.. Very calming. Good meditative smoke or one to help you pour your heart out. Has these beautiful red hairs and almost drips trichromes.. Hence 'bleeding heart'. But before you decide you'd like some, be warned. She is a very gentle lady, but she is a very strong one." Which wasn't a lie.. This was a very gentle strain for how powerful it was, but it was still a very powerful one. The indica base tended to give one more of a body high than a head high, though, and so usually wasn't one to cause freakouts.

"If you want company I'll stay with you for a few hours.. Make sure you don't need any help. I'm not entirely keen on being alone myself tonight. You don't need to trust me and I don't blame you if you won't or can't, but the offer is there either way." Were all irreversibly childless women so maternal? Probably not. Jade wasn't sure why she got like this.. Usually she disliked the majority of people because they were sheep and set in their ways, but if anyone was open to hearing a well-meaning voice, it was probably this pour soul.

"My name is Jade, by the way. Jade Coswell. And in case you were worried, I am completely legal to both sell and consume medicinal marijuana.. And whether or not you've been diagnosed, you seem like you could use some." She tentatively held out a cigarette-shaped object smouldering on one end toward Percie and glanced over.. If Percie did take it, she would make sure the obviously drunk woman didn't burn herself when she took it.

[Percie Hobbes]

Percie waved the joint away, but not excessively, just a fairly uncoordinated wave. "Ah, no thank you then," she rasped. She should have bought a pack from the bar before she left. She was really craving the unfamiliar burn of tobacco and she hadn't smoked a joint since she was in high school and that had only been once and she'd rather hated it. Percie didn't want to think about that right now though, not when she was busy being miserable about something totally unrelated to cannabis. But she was grateful for the company nonetheless and sat back, elbows thrown back to rest on the back of the bench they were sitting on.

" 'M Percie," she answered with a cough, settling into the almost soaring feeling she got when she was drinking. She hadn't even been this drunk the first night she and Derek had discovered that they were physically compatible. There was a flash of pain as she remembered that was how she came to possess this news in the first place and she suddenly wished she had a shot of whiskey to chase it away. "Don't worry, I'm not a cop anymore so I could care less." she managed instead, realizing that she had yet to address the woman next to her. "I don't like that stuff," she said politely. "I tried it back in high school, just not my thing," she shrugged. She inhaled a deep breath of stagnant night air and shot immediately up off the bench to throw up in a bush behind it. Hand white-knuckled on the back of the bench as she wretched again.

[Jade Coswell]

At the original 'no thank you' Jade had given a small shrug and removed the offer taking another long, slow drag off her not-cigarette and exhaling it slowly and gently into the otherwise exceedingly stale night air. This woman was Percie, then... and Percie was, apparently, not a cop any more.... Ah well. Percie didn't like weed.. had tried it in high school. Fair enough. It wasn't for everybody..

Of course, then there was a deep breath and that feeling of panic and Jade jumped to her feet an instant after Percie did, quickly hopping onto the bench, tucking her still-lit joint behind her ear (with skill that only a professional smoker could ever hope to muster so that it didn't burn her hair or skin) and quickly ran her hands along Percie's jaw on either side of her face, collecting her hair so it didn't get disgusting as she emptied more of the contents of her stomach into a very unfortunate bush.

Jade simply held her hair and let out a sigh, gathering Percie's hair into one hand so she could rub the woman's back with the other. "See, if it was your thing, there's a good chance this wouldn't happen many more times.. You had way, way too much, honey. I won't pry, but you can talk to me if you need. I've been through some rough times and I've had my share of bad news. Sometimes it helps to get it off your chest.. and I'm in no position to judge."

If Percie stopped wretching Jade would do her best to help her turn around and sit back down, then try to gently do some light massage on Percie's neck and shoulders.. Any time Jade herself threw up those muscles tensed themselves into knots more than any others.. and this lady seemed like she was probably a decent person. No need for her to suffer any more than she was already undoubtedly going to.

[Percie Hobbes]

After she finished throwing up Percie decided that if she were going to be miserable she would do it in the comfort of her own home. But she still didn't want to be alone and made the decision to take Jade home with her. "Thank you," she coughed as she wiped her mouth again and took Jade with her non-contaminated hand and with a bit of a swagger, lead the other woman on the ten minute quick-walk back to her apartment. "Here," she sighed happily as she let Jade go and practically tossed herself in through the entrance to what was her office. She stumbled through the office, and through the door near her desk before kicking her shoes off in the proper entry way that lead to the garage. From there (and after tossing her keys into the bowl on the table by the door) she opened the door in front of her (traditionally on the left once entered from the garage) and staggered through the back of the first floor and up the two flights of stairs to her living area. She didn't stop there.

She heard Jade behind her and continued up to the third floor where her bedroom was. "Um, you can sit, it's fine, I need to..." Percie hiccupped and ran upstairs with impressive skill given her coordination at the moment. She worshiped the porcelain god in the comfort of her own master bathroom and sat there for what felt like ages but amounted to the span of ten minutes. When she didn't feel the immediate urge to vomit again she stripped and crawled (literally) into her standing shower and washed herself, before crawling out again, wrapping herself in a towel and finally managing to get to her feet. It took her another ten minutes to dress in a pair of well-loved purple pajama pants and a blank tank top before slightly more soberly making her way downstairs.

"Oh? What are you doing?" she asked when she realized her....guest wasn't sitting. Percie threw herself into her couch and snuggled one of the throw pillows adorning the furniture.

[Jade Coswell]

"I'm making you something light to eat, hon." Jade had done her very best to stay close to Percie and to make sure that she was supporting her at least somewhat so that if the girl did decide to fall over, she could at least cushion the blow and lower her to the ground softly.. Because one of the few things worse than a hangover was a hangover plus roadrash from drunkenly falling on your face. She did admirably well for how obviously sloshed she was, but as with any drunken walk there were a few nervous moments..

They'd made it to Percie's house.. entered through the garage.. gone up a bunch of stairs... Jade had made sure to re-lock all the doors behind them, pick up anything Percie knocked over.. There had been most of a sentence that had involved 'sit' and 'I need to' and Percie had been gone... Jade figured it had been ten or so minutes.. Poor Percie was due to empty the last bit of her stomach any moment.. and simply let her be. There was less reason to hold her hair here.. She could just hop in the shower... Or crawl into it.. or drag herself into it.. whichever.

Five minutes worth of waiting had Jade a little bored and so she raided Percie's pantry and fridge. Suffice it to say that Percie must be a fairly busy individual. She clearly didn't cook all that often. There was next to nothing to make decent food out of. Fortunately there were a few necessities and Jade had the rest on her own.. She found some saltine crackers in the pantry, some ancient but not-expired Emergen-C packets, and the tap water seemed filtered in the kitchen... There were also a few cans of soup, but Jade figured those would come more in handy tomorrow than tonight. Miss Percie was undoubtedly going to wake up with one hell of a hangover.

The rest of the foodstuffs Jade had actually brought with her. She always carried some fresh fruits and veggies... and so when Percie had asked what she was doing and Jade had replied by stating the obvious, she was walking back into the den with a plate covered in crackers, grapes, sliced beets, a few slices from some cheese that (if it didn't get eaten tonight) was going to get thrown out soon anyway, some homemade baked potato chips, and some lightly salted tomato slices.. not to mention, of course, a glass of water with an electrolyte packet already mixed in.

"I don't expect you to eat all of this or even most of it, but you are going to eat a little bit, and I'm not letting you go to sleep until you drink this whole glass.. Otherwise you are going to wish you were dead when you wake up." Never having been one to shun human contact and knowing that Percie was likely to need some motivation, Jade set the plate in front of her on the couch, then climbed onto the couch and snuggled up right behind Percie like they were old friends or cousins, hugging around the innebriated woman's midsection and patting her arm. "Now come on. I'll let you get comfy and sleep really soon but we need something besides.." Sniff, sniff.. "Jack Daniels in your system before you crash."

[Percie Hobbes]

"Oh." Was the only intelligible answer Percie could come up with at the moment as she watched the woman named Jade set a veritable feast in front of her. "Where did all of that come from? Pretty sure the cheese is mine..." she murmured as she reached out to take one of the crackers and nibbling on it. "This is good," she murmured when she finished, relaxing into the other woman's grip automatically. She used to sit like this with her ex-girlfriend sometimes and it brought back fond memories. She reached for the water and had to hold it with both hands as she drank and then returned to nibbling at snacks. Since she was feeling a little better and snuggling with a total stranger on her couch (she was really, really, REALLY going to do need to reexamine her life tomorrow) she decided to do a bit of sharing and get her burden off her chest. She had to tell someone, she still hadn't even told her parents yet.

"I can't have kids," she announced, voice softer. She had wanted to shout it like she didn't care. "HA I can't get pregnant so my body won't be disgusting for 9 months and my innards aren’t going to be a mess down there when I’m finished pushing it violently from my body!” but it was more like “I can’t bring life into this world what is my purpose?”. “I went to the doctor’s because I thought I might be pregnant and the doctor said it was just stress and then told me that it was pretty much impossible for me to have children, but they couldn’t tell me why. I mean, he said it nicer than that, he was fantastic really, very sympathetic, but…I hate it,” she sighed as she slumped against the woman behind her.

[Jade Coswell]

Jade wouldn't have called this a feast.. This was a relatively healthy snack. If Percie wanted a feast, she needed to come by Jade's bus sometime. "I had all of the juicy bits in my backpack.. I'm a meta. Plant manipulator. I grow most of my own food." The hastily prepared plate was complimented, and Percie relaxed quite a bit into Jade's arms. Good. At least she wasn't freaking out at being close to another woman. Some girls were weird.

Jade froze when Percie outed herself.. She stopped breathing for several seconds, she didn't move.. her heart may have stopped beating for a few moments.. and then Percie continued and Jade simply hugged her tighter. When Percie was done explaining, Jade pressed her forehead to the woman's shoulder for a moment before raising one arm in front of her. On it were tattoos of vines visible from her wrist traveling up her arm. "These vines here go all the way up my arms, over my shoulders, and integrate into a mural on my back devoted to Gaia.. Goddess of earth and fertility. The top half of my body is a monolith to the goddess of fertility.." She was quiet for a moment and let out a soft sigh, letting her arm drop and wrap protectively around Percie again.

"I got the same news when I was fifteen. Some sort of genetic predisposition. Puberty happened.. I manifested.. but something went wrong. The part of me meant to bring new life into the world never got the message. I know how hard it was half a lifetime ago.. I can only imagine how hard it must be on you now.. but listen closely. There is purpose and meaning and a lasting effect in every single thing you do. If you can't create and mold a life on your own, then your legacy is the effect you have had on the world around you. Don't ever let yourself believe that you are less than someone else, and don't blame yourself or whatever higher power you believe in. Walking down those paths are the way you lose purpose.. and they are the only way that you lose purpose."

Jade slid down slightly to her arms more comfortably wrapped around Percie's tummy and she could rest her head on the woman's shoulder. "You poor thing. I'm sorry that fate's plans didn't line up with your expectations. I won't tell you it gets easier and I won't tell you that the hurt will go away, but I will tell you that as long as you move forward you will understand that you still have a purpose. That you are here for a reason. And that you are still a beautiful and wonderful person, no more flawed than anyone else."

[Percie Hobbes]

Percie blinked owlishly at the vines on Jade's arm and listened to her explanation. The sobering up part of her mind thought it was a bit funny. Here was a woman dedicated to Gaia, while in her lap sat another woman named for the queen of hell. Well, Percie's mother always claimed that it was for the "Goddess of Spring" aspect of Persephone's character but no on in the family could really deny that Percie had a habit of...well...raising hell when she felt like it. Her heart stopped for a moment as she realized what was really being said to her. Jade was sterile too, except she was given an explanation for her problem, Percie didn't have one.

She made a sad noise of condolence because Jade kept talking and what was Percie going to say anyway? When the woman behind her shifted position into one more comfortable she pet the other woman's arm for a moment before reaching back over and eating, this time popping the whole thing into her mouth and chewing before washing it down with the rest of the water/electrolyte mix she had been given. That done she ate two more pieces before settling down into Jade's arms again, her hands rubbing the other woman's forearms comfortingly. "I haven't even told my parents yet. It just seemed like something that would always happen," she sighed. She was starting to feel sleepy. "I'm glad I'm not alone though," she added with a yawn, her body finally giving in now that she had admitted that she was tired. It wasn't two minutes later that she was snoring softly, head cushioned on the other woman's shoulder.

[Jade Coswell]

"You won't be alone unless you choose to be, honey." ..Soon enough, Percie was fast asleep. Jade wasn't sure if the woman was obscenely trusting, if she was just that drunk, or if she was simply able to read people well enough to know that Jade was safe, but she was glad that it had been her that had come across Percie and not someone else. It was a strange, small kind of liberating for Jade herself to share in return. Not good, not bad, but.. some sort of liberating. She felt slightly lighter.. There was some positive to her condition.. She could relate to this poor woman like few others could.. and curled up protectively against Percie, Jade was soon snoozing as well.

...Several hours later, Percie would likely awaken to a light crash sound from the kitchen.. the sound of running water and the clinking of pots and pans.. the smell of dishsoap. The faint skunky scent she'd smelled last night and mistaken for a cigarette. This time less directly, though.. Jade had done Percie the courtesy of going outside to smoke. She hadn't received permission to medicate inside and didn't want poor Percie to regret her drunken decision to have Jade stay any more than she might already.

Before Percy was another glass of water tinted by the color of the electrolyte powder as well as four aspirin... The sound of running water would abruptly end and the soft sound of a very pure voice humming some old tune could be heard instead... More clinking.. sizzling.. the toaster popped.. the sizzling died down... two plates were set on the counter...

A moment later, Jade walked casually into the living room with two plates of food. If Percie didn't give any indication she was awake, Jade would walk past her and sit on the far side of the couch, holding one place and setting the other on her lap, reaching over to gently shake Percie's leg. "Wake up, sweetheart. If you already have the hangover from hell, we should avoid malnutrition making it any worse. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. If you don't remember who I am or how I got here I can explain. I'm a friend."

Now, obviously Percie hadn't had any eggs.. or bacon.. or probably bread... and she definitely hadn't had the tomatoes or bell peppers that had been mixed in with the scrambled eggs.. Jade had borrowed Percie's keys, locked up behind herself as she went home, gotten some things, and come back. Sure, she could have just left, but... well.. that seemed really rude.

[Percie Hobbes]

She was really, really, really, REALLY going to have to stop getting drunk enough that she brought people home. Was her first thought when she sounds and smells from the kitchen succeeded in bringing her round to consciousness. She did remember the woman and talking to her (and the subject matter in fact) but what she didn't understand was more about herself than the stranger now shaking her leg and attempting to feed her. "Ah, one moment," she rasped in her sleepy voice as she turned over and slowly sat up. She scratched in various places and yawned, raked her hair back away from her face and immediately swiped the aspirin and drank the entire glass of water mixture set out for her as her head throbbed in protest. "I guess I'm not working today," she sighed more to herself than to her guest as she looked at the plate of food in front of her. "Wow...I think this is the most food that's come out of my kitchen in like a year," she commented with a smile as she slowly reached out to start picking at the food.

"Jade right?" she said, looking up briefly and then back down at her plate. "The uh...grower?" she ventured with a small smile before taking another bite of food. "Thanks for, well all of this too but especially last night," she said as she leaned back with the plate, eating with the energy she lacked last night. She was always starving when she was hung over. "Did you go shopping?" she asked abruptly. "I can pay you back, this was way over the top for someone I just met, I must have been such a pain in the ass last night," she said with a fair amount of guilt weighing down her voice.

[Jade Coswell]

Jade had just sat back and continued holding the plate while Percie woke herself up and guzzled the water before her, grinning at the remark about the food she'd prepared. She'd nodded, then nodded again as Percie had taken the plate and started picking at her food.. but she shook her head lightly at being thanked. She hadn't precisely gone shopping, no... and Percie wasn't going to be paying her.

"Not at all, honey. You're a pretty self-sufficient drunk, really. No mess, no claws.. no tears that weren't justified. I'm glad you remember who I am.. and this is my gift to you. It's not much, but.. call it an 'ask and thou shalt receive' offering. You needed some help last night.. and even though you didn't ask for it verbally you were still asking for it. Put it on Gaia for leading me to the right place at the right time to come across you. I stopped by my house to pick up a few things. Borrowed your keys and locked up behind myself. But you won't be paying me a cent, sweetheart. When I help someone it's not for profit, it's because it's the human thing to do. I don't know if you'd have done the same for me, but I'd like to hope that you're a little more inclined to try in the future having had someone do it for you."

She paused to nom a few bites of scrambled eggs. "I washed up your dishes, too.. and made sure that the clothes you were wearing last night made it into the washing machine. Not trying to creep around your home while you were asleep, I just know that the last time I had a hangover I sure didn't want to deal with laundry, dishes, and food on top of the headache and feeling half-dead. If you want more there's at least another serving or two still. I also brought OJ and milk but I wasn't sure if you'd want anything aside from water."

From her tone of voice, it aught to be fairly clear that Jade really wasn't worried about having done any of this or about getting payed back. Percie was a comrade of sorts.. and so had gotten the family treatment. She needed to worry about feeling better today, not about feeling guilty that someone in America still had a soul and a conscience.

[Percie Hobbes]

"Oh ha ha!" Percie laughed and waved the other woman's words away. "I don't do that shit when I'm sober; I'm certainly not going to at any other point in my life!" She set her now empty plate down and sat there on her couch for a moment, allowing herself to digest. "That was delicious seriously. You're a great cook! I always get take out or my mom sometimes calls me over for dinner because I'm shit at cooking and taking care of certain things by myself!" she explained casually as she snuggled back against her couch even further. "But I guess it's good to know I didn't give you a lot of trouble but as far as I know I'm not a vicious drunk, usually I'm pretty happy, yesterday was just a bad day for obvious reasons," she sighed with a sad sort of smile.

"Still, it's not every day nice people show up out of the blue to help others, I suppose this is something akin to fate eh? Let's take this opportunity and forge a new friendship." Percie leaned forward with her hand extended. "Persephone Hobbes, but call me Percie," she reintroduced herself.