Everything Will Be Okay (Oriel)

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak hadn't spoken with Oriel in a while, but that didn't mean she didn't know what had happened. Having Gryph as a roommate, of course, she was mostly getting one-sided information - how he'd caught Oriel and Kodi almost hooking up (which had led her to having a strict conversation with him about how much their relationship really meant to Gryph - but it seemed like they were going to keep trying anyway), how Oriel had hit Phoenix, and, most recently, the fight he and Oriel had gotten into.

Tak had been busy with work and prepping for school lately, but she'd had enough of this... Everything. It was time she stepped in and saw how Oriel was doing, because knowing him, he was beating himself up and sinking into depression from all that was going on. Really, she should have seen him before now, but there was only so much free time she had.

In fact, she had just gotten off an early evening shift at work and was heading over to the school with her uniform still on, and a half a blackberry pie in a box. She wiped a few beads of sweat from her brow as she walked to the dorms, quickly making her way up the stairs and heading towards Oriel's room. Tak hoped he was there - she hadn't called beforehand.

She stepped into the common room and headed towards his door, giving a few quick knocks. "Oriel? Are you there?" she asked softly, cracking open the door. It took her a moment to locate him in the corner; her heart sank as she stepped inside. "Hey, hun," she greeted him, walking slowly over to where he was. "I brought you something." She held the box out to him, brushing back a few dark hairs that were sticking to her forehead.

[Deleted]

Oriel hadn’t been this littered with bruises since…well, probably since his fight with Kodi. Erik had left him in worse shape overall, but Kodi had left him the most bruises. The other fights he’d been in had been against pushovers. People who didn’t fight back…

Picking on the weak…great job Oriel. You’ve stooped to a new kind of low.

At least he didn’t go around hitting girls like some dentokinetics….

Like that was supposed to make him feel better.

Oriel didn’t even care about the punishments anymore. They could just rack them up on him and wouldn’t matter, because no doubt he was going to fuck up again between now and the end of his ‘sentence’. He should just give up. Resign himself to the fact that they were never going to let him and Phoenix see each other, much less be together. The few secret meetings that he and Phoenix had had had been barely enough to keep Oriel afloat, but he was feeling the wear on him more now than ever before. The fight with Gryphon had been indicative of that.

Oriel just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t want to see anyone, he didn’t want to talk to anyone…that was the only way he could think to keep everyone else out and away from his problem. The only way he wasn’t going to cause trouble with them. And even so, he hated himself for still feeling the pain of being alone. Feeling like he’d been abandoned yet again by everyone who mattered. Even those who didn’t matter.

He didn’t want to be alone anymore…! But Oriel didn’t know how else to fix this. Maybe he should just…disappear. That would be easiest for everybody, wouldn’t it?

The door to his room opened. Oriel didn’t look up from the corner he was crouched down in. His face was still swollen from the hits he’d received from Gryphon not too long ago. There was a cut on his lip that he kept prodding with his tongue, as if he needed to know it still hurt. He didn’t say anything as Tak let herself in and settled in front of him. He didn’t look up at her. Didn’t give any indication that he knew she was there.

He did, though. Oriel just….didn’t care.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak hadn't been sure what to expect, coming over. She'd assumed a couple things - he'd be closed in on himself, hard to talk to, blaming himself for everything that had happened even though she knew the root of his problem was deeper than most people understood. Riddled with guilt. Of course, she was upset with what he'd done - hitting Phoenix, the last person in the world who deserved that kind of behavior in her opinion, had made her really think about her relationship with Oriel and Gryphon and everyone involved in this whole mess.

But in the end, Oriel was her friend, and a past lover. Tak felt like she knew him better than anyone else, maybe even better than Phoenix, if only due to the nature of her ability. If she couldn't help him, who could?

She'd known there would be bruises, too, after hearing about the fight. Still, she frowned upon seeing them riddling the young man's face. He looked.... Horrible. The worst she'd ever seen him.

When he didn't respond to her offer, Tak gently sat the box aside and scooted in closer to Oriel, dipping down a little so she could better see his bruise-covered face. "I know you can hear me, and I know you probably don't feel like talking, so I can just talk until you feel ready to," she told him quietly. The Native girl reached forward to softly brush against Oriel's jaw, tracing a purpled section of skin.

"I know you've probably been scolded countless times already. That's not what I'm here to do," she went on, her fingers trailing back until she was toying with a strand of his hair. "I know you feel horrible for what you did, and no amount of punishment is going to make you any more sorry than you already are." Tak smiled sadly. "I just want to talk, Oriel. That's all. I don't want you to shut yourself away from the world like you don't belong in it, because you do."

[Deleted]

Anyone who knew Oriel, like really knew him, would know that this kind of behavior wasn’t uncommon for him following an incident where he’d fucked up to the point where he was certain that everyone was going to finally give up on him. And leave him behind. Forever.

He couldn’t fathom why people even bothered with him anymore.

Oriel blinked and rewet his lips, finally lifting his eyes to the woman as she spoke. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing anymore that she could tell so much about him without him actually saying anything. Tak was, as usual, as spot on with his feelings as she ever was. But she was wrong about one thing.

He didn’t belong in the world. He never did. That’s why his mother—

Oriel lowered his head again, curling his good arm around his knee while the other lay flat in it’s splint. That hurt too. He wanted to break it even more.

Oriel turned his eyes again to Tak, as if to say, “what could you possibly say to make any of this better?” There was nothing. Nothing could.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak was never wrong about anything. Or so she liked to think. There were times where she misjudged herself or her ability and the consequences fired back at her, but they were rare. It was a lonely life, living the one she had. She knew everyone better than they knew her. Always.

She didn't let her gaze falter as he looked at her, instead keeping the contact between them as long as she could. Tak was actually stifling her ability so as not to get overwhelmed; the senses rolling off of Oriel in waves were enough to make any other person want to flee.

But she stayed firm, glancing down only when he did, to look at the cast on his hand. with the same gentleness that she'd touched his face, she took the injured limb in her hands, passing her thumbs over the top of the rough surface. "Hurting yourself isn't going to make any of this better," she told him, her voice still quiet. "Think of me. Think of Phoenix. Think about the people who don't want to see you in any more pain than you're forced to endure already. It may seem like everyone hates you, but they don't." She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, old memories coming to the surface of her consciousness. "And even if people do hate you, that's just another reason to prove to them all that you don't care and are going to keep moving on regardless."

That's what she'd told herself when she'd endured months of people belittling her and trying to make her feel like trash. Tak got just as emotional as anyone else; she just didn't show it.

She glanced down again to his challenging stare, letting out a quiet sigh. "Come here," she told him as she moved to settle beside him against the wall, pulling Oriel down to rest against her chest. Tak then moved to wrap her arms around him, letting her fingers trail through his tangled hair. "Sorry, I probably smell like greasy hamburgers and french fries," she told him, as though that really mattered. She was silent for another few moments. Then,"I'm not a mind reader, you know. It may seem like it sometimes, but I'm really not. I don't know if me being here is helping you all that much, but I can damn well try, can't I?"

[Deleted]

There were so many things going through his mind, despite his passive looking exterior, most of it contributing to his feelings of self-hate. Oriel just couldn’t think of a reason why anyone would want to care about him. Or anything he did, unless it was destructive to them. Then they cared. Then they noticed. And all it did was perpetuate the feeling that all Oriel’s existence had ever done was bring trouble to others. The only thing they’d notice about him being gone was the fact that there was suddenly, miraculously, no more trouble.

Because it was all his own fault anyway.

Oriel was silent to Tak’s words. They provoked some thought, but all of his disagreed with the sentiment. Tak was…how did Oriel know that Tak wasn’t just here on reconnaissance for Gryphon? They were roommates, after all. She must’ve heard about everything that happened, in a way that made him look like the absolute worst. Though it was still true anyway. He was the worst.

What did it matter if he proved anything to anyone though? They were going to believe whatever that decided regardless of what he did to prove otherwise. And will use any excuse to prove that he was exactly like they said he was.

Oriel gave no resistance, though, when she pulled him against her chest. He instinctively closed his eyes. Despite everything, her touch was probably the most therapeutic thing he’d had since all this had started. He arched awkwardly against Tak, breathing in her scent, and trying to support himself with his good hand. “…it’s okay,” he mumbled when she spoke of her smell. He didn’t care. It was still calming. “…you always help,” he muttered into her chest. “Don’t know….how you…keep it up…” As he spoke, Oriel breath started to quicken.

This was why he didn’t want to talk.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Oriel was Tak's friend. They'd known each other for a while, and helped each other through some pretty hard shit. Of course she was attached to him; even she, as independent and free-spirited as she was, needed some sort of companionship to some extent, and Oriel had always been there to give her someone to be with when there wasn't anyone else (except for the actual birth of her daughter, but that was something else).

That was why she wanted to help him. Because he was one of the few people she had opened up to before. Tak cared deeply about the troubled boy; it would take more than this to make her give up on him.

Seeing him awkwardly leaning into her, Tak maneuvered herself until he was situated more in her lap, so he could more comfortably lean in and smother himself against her if he wanted. Her fingers continued to toy with his hair, which looked like it hadn't been combed, or maybe even washed, in a while. When he finally spoke, Tak dropped one of her hands against his back, firmly rubbing her palm up and down his spine. "And I'll continue helping you as long as you need it," she replied, kissing the top of Oriel's head. "It's not as hard as you think, hun. The hardest part is seeing you punish yourself so much over everything.

"Gr- I heard about your hand." She didn't want to say her roommate's name, lest she trigger something. Tak held in another sigh. She could sense the tension in Oriel's voice, and knew what was probably coming, now that he was nestled against a warm, welcoming body. "It's okay to cry, Oriel," she murmured. "Sometimes we can't get better until we let it out. That's just how it works; there's no shame in it. And I won't tell anyone." Tak's fingers brushed against his cheek. "You're safe with me. Nothing you say or do will leave this room."

[Deleted]

Oriel didn’t think he’d done anything particularly special for Tak, or anyone for that matter. All he did was stick around when others didn’t. Oriel wasn’t even that nice. He just…

“Yeah,” he said with a sad, sobbing laugh. “That was pretty dumb of me…huh?” Oriel’s throat was burning and his eyes were stinging. Even the comfort of his face buried within Tak’s bosoms wasn’t enough to keep him from leaking salt-water from his eyes…or maybe it was the comfort that allowed him to be able to do it?

Oriel hated crying. It was so…weak. Made him look like a baby. Like he was just someone who liked to complain about the things that’d happened in his life. No matter how legit people said his issues were….there were plenty of other people worse off who weren’t complaining.

But it was still true that Oriel had to hold himself back from it often. Even in front of Tak, even in front of Phoenix. Though once the tears started, Oriel didn’t know how to make them stop. So he just used Tak’s apron to wipe his face as they continued to come forth. “….I hit Phoenix…” he choked out. The cut in his lip was throbbing from how much it trembled. “I…I got drunk….” he started to explain with a trembling voice. “I tried to sleep with Kodi…..” Oriel swallowed. “And then I hit Phoenix because he…he was keeping secrets from me….and I thought he was sleeping around with Gryphon…” Oriel whined from the back of his throat as he buried his face into her lap.

“I’m a horrible person….” he sniffled. “I don’t deserve….” Anything. Anyone. Phoenix.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak smiled faintly and kept stroking Oriel's hair, like one might soothe a frightened animal. "It wasn't the best decision you've ever made, no," she replied, trying to imagine hitting something so hard that you broke your own hand. She winced. "I can't imagine how much it must have hurt. And still must hurt," she added, cradling the injured body part in her own once again. "I wish I could make... All of these better with a flick of my hand," she sighed, motioning to Oriel's bruises as well. "Have you been icing them, sweetheart?" At least she could make sure he was taking care of himself.

Tak herself cried... Very, very seldom. It had happened more often while she was pregnant, of course, but that couldn't really be helped; now, it took a lot to make her break down. Oriel had seen it recently, which was an even rarer occasion - she, ironically, hated crying in front of people too. But that didn't make her want Oriel to bottle himself up. Those were hew own issues.

She let Oriel use her apron to wipe his tears; she had others she could wear while she got this one washed. As he started explaining what he'd done (and, mostly, what Tak had already picked up from others), she just held him silently, willing him to talk when he was able. When he finished, she was silent for several long moments, the only movement she made the continued petting of his hair.

"You haven't drank for a long time, have you?" she finally asked. Another pause. "We all fall off our own bandwagons sometimes. We make mistakes, and we learn from them. Sometimes we hurt others in the process, and it sucks, but.... I don't know, I guess it can be unavoidable." She smiled sadly. "We hurt those we're the closest to the most. And then, once we realize what we did wrong, we learn from those experiences and try our best not to do them again." Tak shifted where she sat, but made sure not to jostle Oriel too much.

"We all deserve things we can't have, and don't deserve things we do have, I think," she went on. "Family, friends, lovers. Material possessions... Whatever. I know you love Phoenix, and I know you'd do anything you could to take back what you did. And I know you're going to make the best effort you can not to let it happen again."

Her small smile went a little nostalgic. "Did I ever tell you my first lover was a dentokinetic?" she asked.

[Deleted]

Oriel didn’t answer. He knew he’s just inspire more disappointment(and worry) from Tak if he told her he hadn’t been taking care of his hand like he was supposed to. Oriel was so good and motivated to take care of other people, yet he failed spectacularly to take care of himself. Especially after this last incident, Oriel had lost a lot of his need for self-preservation.

He shook his head into her lap. “I hate it…” he muttered. Oriel hated the person he became when he drank. It was like someone had snapped off every lock he put on himself to let the monster inside run free. And consequently, rampage over everything he was trying not to lose. The worst part was, that while he remembered what happened, it was more like he was remembering a dream, or remembering something that someone else did.

They were completely warped, his memories. Nothing about it made sense to him now. At the time he'd done it, though, it did. He vaguely remembered thinking that whatever his train of thought was, that it was the most logical thing to do at the time; why he’d pushed himself onto Kodi, and then took it out of Phoenix. But now, even during the hours of the morning after, Oriel couldn't for the life of him think why he thought any of it was a good idea. Why did he think he was justified? Why didn't he...?

He remembered throwing Phoenix out of the room. That he'd done it without thinking. He’d been so angry at the boy, he didn’t even want to…no that wasn’t right. He was angry, yes. Furious even. But also…scared? Maybe?

Oriel had gone over what he remembered, endlessly ruminating, ever since it happened, trying to figure out why he didn’t reign himself in sooner. Why’d he even think that drinking with Kodi was a good idea? Maybe it was that he’d lost his mind long before he even tasted the first drop. Oriel just remembered feeling like he was trying to swim through molasses…and now, he was just completely stuck in it, having lost his will to even keep trying.

And when he thought about what had started him down that spiraling path, he felt like he might just keep going regardless.

“…I don’t know if I can stop myself anymore.” Oriel wasn’t sure he wanted to. But he didn’t want to hurt Phoenix again either. He felt like he was just going to keep falling, and the only way he knew how to protect them at this point was to keep everyone away. There was still so much anger in there along with his grief. Anger that he had no one to direct it at. It was no wonder he took it out on the concrete…and consequently, himself.

Oriel swallowed, then continued to lay his face in her apron. He shook his head as Tak mentioned a past, or rather her first, lover. No, Oriel hadn’t heard much of many of Tak’s old lovers aside from the ones he knew here. He hated all of them, he realized. At least the men. Oriel probably wasn’t going to like this one either.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak noticed Oriel's lack of an answer, and frowned, making a mental note to grab some ice later once Oriel had gotten some of his emotions out and she dared to stand up. For now, she wasn't going anywhere. Oriel needed her too much like this, she thought. She hoped, at least. She had to be helping to some extent, right?

"I know, hun. I know." Tak made soft, soothing sounds as Oriel continued to cry against her. She wasn't entirely sure what to say. "Just use this as motivation not to drink again. When it gets hard and you want to break down and do it, this will help you remember why you wanted to quit in the first place." The Native girl thought (or at least hoped) that Oriel wouldn't want to drink anymore anyway, but given the circumstances, she had to admit that she was worried he would turn to the bottle more to drown out his intense, overwhelming emotions that she was struggling to deal with herself.

She hadn't been there that night, of course, but she could easily imagine how it had gone down. Tak wasn't certain, exactly, what had caused Oriel to want to drink in the first place, let alone with Kodi. But of course those two would end up tangled together given a chance - they were so similar, even with Tak's perception, it was no wonder they were lustful for each other.

Wrapping her arms more tightly around him, Tak lifted Oriel's face so he was looking up at her. Her palms cupped over his cheeks, and she brushed the stray tears leaking down his face with her thumbs.

"You can," she said firmly, her brow slightly furrowed. "Don't say that you can't, because that's what leads you to believe that you can't." Tak leaned down and pressed a kiss to Oriel's forehead, lingering for a few moments before pulling away. "You have people who will support you. Me, and Phoenix, and I know you have other friends too." Her hand moved down to press against Oriel's chest, right over his heart. "I know you can only see the bad in you right now, but I never stop seeing the good. You're protective, you're loving, you're funny... You have the capacity for so much, you just need to stop dwelling on the lies and hurtful things that ignorant people have told you." Tak smiled sadly. "I know that's easier said than done, but... Trust me, believing in yourself when no one else does is the only thing that gets some people by." Speaking from personal experience.

She wasn't sure why she had mentioned Mato. Kodi made her think of him, she supposed, although Mato had been manipulative and cold. "He was beautiful and, for a while, very kind. I thought he was perfect, but I was thirteen and childish. It's a long story, but it eventually ended up where he was making me feel like nothing about me mattered except that I was his. He used his words against me, told me who I should be and pointed out all my flaws, urging me to fix them for him. It was a very long time after I finally broke up with him that I came to peace with myself, but I don't regret the relationship if only because it taught me that, above everything else, I need to take care of myself and not let others tell me who I am." Tak's fingers trailed through Oriel's hair again. "I know it's not nearly as hard as what you've been through, but... That's why I am the way I am. And I wish I could help you burn away all the harsh and cruel words that have been burned into your memories."

[Deleted]

Tak didn’t know the half of it. Even with her perception and power that allowed her to see so much, Oriel still believed that she didn’t truly understand what Oriel had been through. The hurtful words coming from the people who were supposed to be supportive and take care of him. Hearing them, over and over, from so man different people, had Oriel constantly doubting himself. Oriel thought one way, but someone said something different. And hearing something so contrary to his own internal logic had the boy wondering and paranoid that his own rational was crazy. That he himself was insane for seeing things so differently from everyone else around him. It not only made it impossible to trust the words of other people, but also to trust the words and thoughts of himself.

Tak could only, at best, imagine what Oriel was going through.

Oriel shook his head slowly. “I can’t. I just can’t do it,” he choked out, streams of tears falling without restraint from his eyes. “You say I can but…you ain’t the one always trying t’hold back…ain’t been the one trying t’do it since forever….” Oriel felt more tears coming on, and he did nothing to stop them. “I’m tired…” he said with a rasp in his voice. “I don’t want to try no more…it’s too hard and don’t even last too long ’til something comes up t’fuck me even more.” Even if he had made progress over the past year, it all was gone down the drain now, wasn’t it? What was the point when he kept failing and being forced to start back from square one?

It never ended, Oriel just wanted it all to stop. Why wouldn’t it just stop??

Oriel listened quietly as Tak recanted her memories of this first lover of hers. His initial thought was that this Mato reminded Oriel very much of himself….but then he quickly negated that idea.

No, this was different. Oriel loved Phoenix. This Mato guy obviously didn’t love Tak, he was just using her. Oriel didn’t make Phoenix feel inadequate either, nope. Phoenix would tell him if he was, right?

“I…I’m not….a bad person….right?” he warbled out, his voice seeming like it would crack any moment. “I’m not…a mistake….am I?” Tell me I’m not. Oriel thought. Tell me the lies I want to hear. With his memories growing up, it was hard for Oriel to not think this about himself. And it was all the more prevalent after having found out the truth about his mother and her indifferent habits. “P-people want me…?” Even if his mother hadn’t intended him, Oriel was meant to be important to someone, right?

[Takchawee Ominotago]

I can't. I just can't do it. Tak's eyes saddened, hearing such defeat in the younger boy's voice. "Oh, honey," she sighed softly, tangling her fingers into Oriel's hair and hold his face against her chest, slowly rocking back and forth as though soothing a baby. She continued to do so silently as he cried and spoke, feeling her chest ache from all his torment. "I can't say I know what that's like," she murmured, wondering if anything she said would make this better. "But... Look. You could be so much worse, Oriel. The fact that you feel remorse for what you've done... It's so much better than if you did those things and didn't feel anything at all."

Tak pressed her cheek against his, rubbing Oriel's back. "I know you're tired," she murmured. "I know it's very, very hard for you. But I'm proud to see how far you've come from when we first met. I know you don't see the progress as much as I do. And I know you still feel like a failure." She pulled her face away and looked at him seriously. "Never be afraid to ask for help, Oriel. There's nothing wrong in needing someone to hold your hand, or give advice, or give you encouragement when you're down." She traced the bruising along his face. "There's no shame in getting professional help either, sweetie. Goodness knows I've had plenty of that."

It was part of what had helped her get over her insecurity, and also when she was going through her pregnancy. Tak was an independent woman, but she wasn't so proud as to refuse emotional security when she was in need of it.

"No, hun. No no no... Of course you're not," she murmured, shifting a little to tuck Oriel's head under her chin. "If you were a bad person, you wouldn't care about any of this. Or you would enjoy it. But you do care, that's obvious." Tak shook her head. "You're not a mistake. Not at all. You mean so much to me, Oriel, I can't imagine what my life would be like without you." That was the truth, even if it was hard for him to believe. "Maybe that's a selfish answer, but fuck, if I could, I would keep you all for myself." Tak wasn't afraid of him, even now. Maybe she should be, but she just... Wasn't. "Of course, I'm far from perfect too, so I don't know how much that means to you, but...." She trailed off, still stroking the boy's hair.

[Deleted]

Oriel sunk a little bit more at her words. What good was feeling remorse if it didn’t make him stop? Sometimes, Oriel wished he didn’t feel any at all. Because the guilt weighed so heavy that it just made everything worse. Then, not only would he be angry at the world, but also at himself. And the self-hate just continued to build.

It was exhausting dealing with this cesspool of emotions. All while trying to pretend that there was nothing wrong most of the day. Oriel was tired.

Logically, Oriel knew he needed the help that Tak was suggesting. It’s the same reason why Oriel knew that Phoenix was just trying to do what was best for them by enlisting the help of Dr. Neville. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that there wasn’t anything anybody could do. “I’m…too…broken…for anyone…to give a shit about…” Like a defective toy. It was a lot easier to throw it away and buy a new one than waste your time trying to fix the old one. That’s why nobody ever… “They can’t fix me…so why bother trying…?”

Another reason for Oriel to hate himself. Asking leading questions. There was only one way for her to answer them. If she disagreed, then that would be all the proof he needed that he was as worthless as he felt. But if she agreed…then she was just telling Oriel what he wanted to hear. It helped to hear her say these things…and yet it made it worse. Because he had to ask. Oriel shouldn’t have to ask. “Okay…” he mumbled into her neck.

It was probably impulse, or maybe a compulsion, but it was always after this, after hearing what he wanted, what he needed to hear, that Oriel would slide his hands over the curves of whichever girl he was holding. Tak may have been aware of his habit. Or not, he didn’t know. But with his breathing starting to fall, so did Oriel’s hands, down to cup over Tak’s plush rump. He turned his head into her neck, slowly, and rose up his chin to gently kiss the line of her jaw. Then again, a little closer to her lips. With one more, Oriel would be right on top of the small woman.

[Takchawee Ominotago]

Tak frowned, fiddling with the ends of Oriel's hair. "Am I not anyone?" she murmured softly. "Is Phoenix not anyone?" She paused a moment before continuing,"Because we sure as hell give a shit about you. I don't know how much I'm helping, but..." She trailed off and sighed. "You're still just a boy, Oriel," she went on. "People change. Memories fade. You've already changed in the couple years that I've known you; in another couple, you might be even better." That's part of what growing up was about, right?

She sort of understood why Oriel had asked the things he had, even without him saying so. Still, what Tak had said was the truth, no matter that he'd had to ask her to say them or not. He had to know by now how she saw him, right? "Okay," was all she said back, echoing his mumble.

Tak probably should have known how this was going to end up. And maybe she had expected it, even before she'd gotten there. Still, she bit her lip as she felt Oriel's hands skim down her back to her backside, but didn't say anything or move to push them away. "Oriel," she said softly, eyelids fluttering at the kisses. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Tak would let him make the decision. She knew this was how he dealt with stress in his life, and though it wasn't particularly healthy, she wouldn't deny him of it if he plowed on. But she wanted to make sure he was thinking it through. She sat unmoving, neither returning his gestures nor denying them. "I did bring a pie, and I'd rather it didn't go bad." A subtle hint, but nothing more.