Do I Know You? (Oriel)

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Rue had been looking for somewhere to volunteer recently, somewhere he could dip his toe in while summer break was still going on at UVM so he could adjust to a new place before he would get busier with schoolwork again.  After looking around, he eventually settled on his old alma mater, Hammel, when he'd learned that they were looking for TAs for the upcoming school year.  Intrigued, he'd gone to apply.

He would have preferred to assist in a biology or world studies class, but apparently the class that needed the most assistance (and perhaps it came as no surprise, given the large amount of 'free time' to work on projects which likely lead to students not getting their assignments done) was drama.  He'd taken a class or two on the subject in high school as an elective, so he agreed to help out as much as he could.  Rue was a decent actor; he might have more talent than he gave himself credit for, really.

So here he was, standing up on the stage with a calm expression as the teacher introduced him as the new assistant for the class.  He gave a small wave and a smile as she finished and smoothly stepped back down into the audience, taking a seat in the front row as he waited for his help to be needed.  Rue was told he likely wouldn't have to do too much today, just observe and pick out the students who would probably need the most help.  His eyes went heavy as he let his ability slip into play, seeking out potential trouble-makers.  A green otter there, an orange tabby cat nearby... This could be an interesting experience.

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Oriel was in a sour mood lately. That wasn’t surprising considering he’d once again gone on a celibacy streak. Not only that, but this streak that the result of him not being able to meet and be close with his one-and-only Phoenix for a long…long….long……….long……………..time…….. Because of one little mistake, he fucked up his entire existence and unless he wanted this sentence to be extended into forever. Oriel didn’t even know why he was trying, he was going to screw up again anyway. He always did.

But still…he was going to…or at least that’s what he told Sean. It was just hard to when he were certain that everyone was going to find a reason to rag on him regardless if he tried or not. Trying took effort. Being pointlessly hounded was tiring. He was going to fucking die from exhaustion before they let him get anywhere, weren’t they?

Oriel sat in one of the seats in the auditorium, left side of the audience seating about 5 rows back, while everyone else was congregating up a little closer to center stage like the good little fucking pansies they were. Oriel didn’t even know what was going on really. Some white haired yigger was standing up there trying to look cool in the face of his new posse and Oriel just wanted to stay out of it. He had better things to think about.

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Rue continued to stay on the sidelines as the students mingled, apparently finding groups to work on a skit with, or so he'd gathered. Nearly everyone seemed to be getting along and finding a group to be with... Except for a single loner in the back, who looked like he didn't have any intention in moving.

A glance back showed Rue all he needed to know. The boy's aura - a rather large, intimidating-looking lion, lounging around him - was a deep, dark crimson, with spots of brighter red and grey mingled amongst the overwhelming scarlet. Intrigued and also concerned, Rue got up from where he was sitting and slowly meandered back towards the boy, keeping a look of calm neutrality on his face.

"Not interested in the project that Ms. Mae assigned?" he asked, his low voice rolling softly over the boy; the lion stirred. Rue settled down in a seat one over from the boy, looking forward towards where everyone else was gathered. "I'm not going to force you to do anything, even if I could, but I would encourage you to at least try. I think it should be a fun experience." He glanced back at the younger boy. "What's your name?"

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Oriel was perfectly happy to just stay out of whatever was going on and do his own thing, which was what he usually did when he didn’t want to participate: sleep. He’d gotten a reputation as the kid who slept in the back of the classroom and it was indeed something he did up until he decided to try and get serious about school, sometime in the fall last year. Actually, it was after he and Phoenix promised each other to get more involved that he started trying and surprising his professors by actually doing the classwork. Now, Oriel felt like trying was completely pointless. What did it even matter?

Oriel was vaguely aware that someone was walking towards him, as he lounged in fold-up seat with his eyes closed and his feet propped up on the back of the chair in front of him. He opened a single eye at Mr. Platinum’s question. Oriel snorted with disdain and slightly shifted away from Cotton-Ball-head.

Why was this guy still here? Couldn’t he just leave Oriel alone and let him flunk like the useless failure he was? He blinked both eyes open into mere slits and sighed. “Oriel…” he muttered. He didn’t care anymore.

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It wasn't until Rue got closer to the boy that he noticed the small, slight patches of black that edged around his aura's mane and chest. It wasn't a lot, but any amount of black was concerning - it meant the person was either ill, injured, or had some other worrying condition that made Rue want to try and cure the otherwise majestic aura.

Of course, there was only so much he could do, especially when one wasn't looking for help. And this boy practically oozed apathy. Rue hadn't expected a chipper response, but the snort and the movement away from him made him more concerned.

He swept a hand through his hair and shifted slightly, moving his gaze between the apathetic boy and the crowd of talkative teenagers in the front. "It's nice to meet you, Oriel," he said politely. "I'm Rue," he added, assuming Oriel hadn't paid attention to his introduction. "How long have you been taking drama? Or is it just something you chose for one of your required electives?" Considering how not-involved Oriel seemed to be, Rue was assuming the latter. His eyes settled on the younger boy, scrutinizing him with a soft expression. "That's what I did, so I understand if that's the case."

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The injuries that Oriel had sustained a few weeks ago had paled considerably. The bruises were barely even noticeable now, and the cut in his lip was for the most part healed with the faintest happenings of a scar. His hand still hurt and was wrapped up for safe measures, but the brace he’d been wearing was removed last week. Physically, he was healed from all the torture he’d done to himself over his forced separation from his boyfriend. Emotionally…well, he was a long way off. And naturally didn’t think he was making any progress in his ridiculous therapy sessions.

It’d be a lot easier if he just wasn’t here, wouldn’t it? Then nobody would have to deal with his stupid high-school drama that nobody but he cared about. Hell, Oriel was very quickly reaching the point of not caring anymore…

He didn’t even have the energy to be hostile and snarky to bleach-head over here. Oriel flicked his eyes over to the guy Rue. “…’m in dance too. Started this shit sometime last year. Dance…been doing that couple years.” Collectively. He’d had a long break in between bouts, though. This wasn’t supposed to be just a throwaway class. He wanted to get that across, at least.

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Rue vaguely noticed the signs of past injury, mostly because he was looking for the source of the blackness in his aura, but for some reason the faint marks didn't seem to be the entire case. The bandaged hand might be more serious, but he didn't seem to be carrying it with too much pain. It just made the aura reader want to dig deeper and find out what it was that was tormenting the boy so much, even though he knew it really wasn't his business.

"Dance, huh?" he repeated, a little surprised. Rue hadn't taken him to be that sort of type; then again, passion was another feeling that came in red, so maybe there was some of that sprinkled in with the anger. "I can't say I've ever taken a dance class, unfortunately. I'd probably trip over my own feet." He chuckled; he wasn't the most graceful person he knew. "It's nice that you're into that stuff, though. It just concerns me that you don't want to take part in something that's probably going to be a decent portion of your grade, especially when it's something that you're interested in."

His voice stayed soft, almost a whisper, throughout his speaking. Rue rarely raised his voice; it was in his nature to be soft-spoken. "I'm not a therapist, or a shrink, or anything, but I'm a good listener. I can tell you must be going through some hard stuff, with the color of your aura," he murmured. "I can try to help, if you'd like."

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If he had to iterated what he wanted to do right now, then yeah, it probably would be that he just wanted to get out there do what he normally did. Which was basically act like a fucking narcissistic goof. He wanted to. He wanted to go out there and participate. He just…didn’t have the will or the energy to force himself.

Oriel shrugged a shoulder lazily. “I ain’t never took a real class for it either. Not ’til last year.” He didn’t know what he was thinking last year. Some sort of arrogance that made him think that he was actually good at this shit. If he’d know how much better everyone else was from him, then he probably wouldn’t have tried again in the first place. Oriel didn’t have years of fancy lessons behind him like a lot of the other kids did. It made him feel..stupid, to be honest. “The fuck should I care ‘bout a stupid letter on a scrap of paper that s’pposedly decides how good’r not I am at something?” It was meaningless to him.

Oriel scoffed again. “I look like much a talker to you?” Aura stuff? That was pretty cool though. A small smirk reached his lips. “Auras, huh? The fuck’s mine look like, anyway?”

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"Well, everyone has to start somewhere," Rue replied, settling back further in the chair and lifting his eyes up towards the ceiling. "I think it's great that you tried it on your own. It takes courage to walk into something on your own, not knowing what to expect." Maybe the kid wouldn't think so, but Rue bet his aura was orange then. He smiled a bit sadly at the boy's question. "It seems dumb, doesn't it?" he replied, actually agreeing with Oriel. "Not everyone can fit into the mold that modern-day public schooling forces them through. That's why there are so many kids that drop out." It was sad, Rue thought; he knew that online schooling was becoming more popular these days, and probably for good reason. The public school system was just really rough on some people.

He let out a small chuckle. "No, not really," he admitted, glancing back at the younger boy. When Oriel showed interest in Rue's ability, he sat up a little, eyeing the lion once again. "I see auras as a mixture of an animal and a series of colors," he explained. "The animal represents a more solid foundation of the person as a whole - it rarely ever changes." Only people who went through extreme personality shifts had a change in their creature. "The colors change often, though." After his explanation was over, he finally answered,"Yours is a lion. And... Right now, mostly red. which tells me you're either angry, afraid, or feeling passionate about something. I'm assuming the first one, based on our brief conversation."

He paused to take a breath. "Then there is a good amount of grey too, which generally means you're sad, tired, or depressed. And... What concerns me most is the black portion of your aura." Rue's brow furrowed and he shifted closer, seeming to stare into space as he studied the lion. "It indicates sickness, or death."

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Yes. Thank you. That’s exactly what Oriel kept trying to tell himself. Unfortunately, there was still that period between starting and being good where you looked like a fool for even trying. Which was the precise reason why Oriel did most of his practicing in the middle of the morning and out of sight of any onlookers who might try to give the “poor, struggling boy” unwanted advice and criticism for not getting things perfect on the first goddamn try. Like that fucking Maddie chick or whatever her name was. The dudes he first learned from weren’t like that. Hell, they even told him straight up it wasn’t easy and he was going to have to practice a fuck-ton on his own to get even one move down. Hay-lin wasn’t like that either, and actually, she encouraged taking things slow and practicing as much as you needed to get it right. But in the face of a crowd of kids who’d had fancy classes to teach them the basics already so they could learn new shit easy…it really made him feel like he sucked.

It was the same with drama. He liked it, it was fun. That’s really all he wanted, was to have fun. But he just wasn’t feeling it today. Or this week. Or month. Ever. Not right now.

“Hmph…” he grumbled at the guy’s comments about schooling. Now Oriel was just being stubborn, not wanting to admit out loud that it was incredibly reassuring that someone else recognized how ridiculous the grading system was too. “Nope…you got to fit perfectly into whatever mold they say you gotta, then call you hopeless and worthless when your just a fucking micron off.” If expectations were that tight and specific, then what was the point of even trying?

Oriel would be lying if he said he didn’t find the guy…what was his name, Roo?…well, if he didn’t find his power interesting. “A lion? Heh, interesting.” Considering that that’s what some people compared him to anyway. He wondered if that “aura thing” had any sort of subliminal effect on that. Oriel scowled when Seoul Man here pointed out his colors…and subsequently, his emotions. He wasn’t wrong…about any of those emotions…he was probably feeling at least a little of everything he listed. Oriel just didn’t want to confirm it. He wasn’t going to deny it either though. “Huh….well, that would fit the facts,” he mumbled, lowering his gaze down over his crossed arms. “I just describe it as feeling like shit.” Which pretty much covered the whole spectrum of everything he was feeling at the moment, and what he had been for a while.

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Rue, unlike some might think, hated being in front of any crowd. He'd been uncomfortable when he was introduced; he would be uncomfortable again if he was needed as an example for something later on. But he was good at hiding how he felt, so most people wouldn't know how insecure he could get. He'd learned that the best way to be confident was to fake it... So even if you were freaked out, no one would know it but yourself.

He folded one leg over the other, resting his hands over his knee as he smiled sympathetically at the younger boy. "It really isn't fair," he agreed. "So don't think you're the problem if you're having trouble with the system. I mean, there are some kids that just don't care no matter what, but you strike me as the type to try. I mean, you tried this," he added, motioning to the stage. "The system doesn't consider disabilities, or mental disorders, or physical challenges. It just tries to pump out the people that it deems worthy of success, which is - excuse my language - bullshit." He sniffed moodily. "I've met plenty of people that didn't fit the mold and managed to become incredibly successful on their own."

Rue hadn't meant to get off on such a tangent, so he ruffled a hand through his hair and smiled apologetically. "I don't choose the animal," he shrugged. "Yours is really strong, though. That's... Good." Usually, except... Well, except in cases like this. Strong positive auras were a brilliant thing to behold - strong negative ones put Rue on edge, like the lion was now; he just didn't want to show it. "I'm never off," he replied, eyes flicking over Oriel. "People could be hiding how they feel and it will be as clear as day to me." This boy, though, was doing nothing to hide how he felt. "I'm sorry you feel that way." Rue paused. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He would at least make the offer, though he had no idea what the boy might need. Rue didn't even know the whole problem.

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Oriel liked being looked at…when he wanted to be looked at. When he was trying to get attention. On his terms. He hated when the attention came only when he didn’t want it. He hated that people only seemed to pay attention when there was shit going on instead of something cool, or fun. Why did people only pay attention when something fucked up was going on? Then they scold him for doing fucked up shit on purpose…

“The system is shit…” he muttered, shifting in his seat so that he was slouching even lower. He kept his eyes down. “This world is shit…” Which was exactly why he wanted to change it. Somehow. It was a fool’s dream, to take over the world, but how else was he supposed to make sure this shit didn’t happen to anyone else. The part about disabilities…mental illnesses…he knew he didn’t have any physical limitations, but mental…the only evidence he had that there was anything wrong with his mind was that nobody else seemed to have as much difficulty as he did with keeping his emotions in check, with maintaining some form of logical thinking, even with just decoding a fucking paragraph. There was something wrong with him…he just hated thinking it was true. Because that meant that everyone who used that as an excuse to shove him onto someone else…it meant they were right. And that, in turn, meant he didn’t have a reason to hate them for it…

Oriel shook his head, trying to kick these thoughts from his head. Fuck, he didn’t know why he tried. They didn’t go away just because he wanted them to. “Huh…” he grumped. Oriel wasn’t sure how he felt about this guy knowing what he was feeling. On the one hand, he didn’t really like advertising the fact that he was just a few steps away from popping someone at any given moment. On the other hand, he liked that he didn’t have to use words to explain himself. And when he tried, they’d know he wasn’t lying…

Words were hard.

He didn’t know why he was still talking to this guy though. Something about him just seemed…genuine. Not like he was only asking because it was his job or because he thought it was the polite thing to do. “Don’t know,” he mumbled. “Probably ain’t shit you can do. And I….kind of dug this fucking hole myself anyway.” If he asked…who knows? Oriel might feel talkative enough to explain himself.

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"It is," Rue agreed, tilting his head, but the second comment made him furrow a brow. "Not all of the world is though," he went on slowly. He'd seen a lot of bad - volunteering for various places like homeless shelters and soup kitchens brought out the best and worst in people - but he liked to think the world was overall decent. This kid obviously had a rough past, though. "Have you ever tried volunteering anywhere?" he asked in a non-judging, amicable voice. "It can be really uplifting and give a person a much-needed confidence boost. Being forced to forget about your own problems for a while and focus on helping others..." Rue shrugged, looking back at the crowd again. "It works for me, at least."

He steepled his fingers in his lap, pressing both index fingers against his lips. This kid wasn't very talkative; then again, Rue usually wasn't either, unless someone talked to him first, or he was trying to help someone. It really did make him feel better, feel needed, if he found someone who needed a person to listen and try to help them with their troubles. And Rue found he was pretty good at it, especially with his ability. More than once, he'd watched a person's aura change before his eyes as he conversed with them. He somehow doubted that would be the case here, though.

Rue took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, a small crease forming between his brows at the boy's mumbled response. "Maybe if I knew more about what was wrong, I could suggest something to help," he offered softly. He didn't want to push the boy, but it was obvious that the kid was hard to get to open up, and he felt that he was getting close. "I know it may not seem like it now, but I was very angry when I was... Probably a little younger than you are. I might be able to sympathize more than you think."

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Rue would have a hell of a time trying to convince Oriel of that, that not all of the world was complete shit. Right then, Oriel decided that this guy was probably one of the fortunate ones, who’d either never seen or heard of all the crap that went on down at Oriel’s level of society, or one who was only able to look at it from the outside in and thus only had a superficial understanding of all the fucked-up shit that went on in it. “I don’t want to help anybody.” Which was a lie. Oriel enjoyed taking care of others. It made him feel like his existence was meaningful, to at least someone. But he still had the tickle in the back of his mind that said that if he wasn’t there to help, then someone else would have been. Oriel was replaceable, and his replacement was probably a better human being than he was.

And the reality was that Oriel only wanted to help one person and one person only.

Oriel wasn’t certain if he wanted to spill everything that happened to this guy. Normally, Oriel was incredibly talkative, but it was his mood that was bringing down his ability to be social. The other factor was…most of what was on his mind right now were things that he would never want to talk about with just anybody. What if he said something, and this guy wasn’t the right guy to hear it? And anyway, it wasn’t any of his business!! And what was that shit about being able to sympathize, this fucker wasn’t Oriel, he couldn't possibly understand what Oriel was going through!

Oriel clenched his teeth as he ran through these thoughts in his head, over and over again, trying to organize them into something resembling coherence. It was a lot harder to do than one might think, especially when one didn’t understand those thoughts even in abstract format.

Oriel cleared his throat. Then swallowed. It seemed he fidgeted quite a bit before finally opening his mouth and explaining the situation in very brief, very curt words. “I got drunk, got pissed, took it out on my boyfriend, and now they won’t let me see him.” Chew on that a while, Mr. Sympathetic, and see how well you can relate. Oriel doubted it.

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Fortunately for Rue, he'd grown up in a regular middle-class family with only one younger sibling, so it was true that he didn't personally know what it was like to be an orphan, and he knew that. But he'd seen plenty of people that didn't have it so fortunate, and had helped as many of them as he could (when they wanted it - some of them were stubborn and wouldn't take offered assistance. A big sense of pride, he figured). "It's not for everyone," he replied easily. "It was just a suggestion from personal experience." The kid might enjoy it, or at least benefit from it, if he tried, but Rue wouldn't push the issue since he seemed stubborn in his situation.

Of course, they were hardly more than strangers, so Rue didn't really expect Oriel to open up. Based on how he was acting, the older man doubted he opened up to even people he was closer to. That didn't mean he was just going to leave the guy back here to sulk and stew in his own misery, though. He didn't seem to be needed yet for what the rest of the class was doing anyway; as far as he could tell, the teacher may have even been relieved that he'd chosen to approach someone he assumed was often a trouble child.

He gave Oriel the time he needed to mull over his offer. Rue adjusted himself in his seat again - these things didn't seem to be designed for someone rather bulky like himself - and looked back at the kid when he finally spoke. At the short but clear explanation, Rue's brow furrowed, and he fell into deep thought. That, honestly, hadn't been what he was expecting, so he had to think of a decent response to a situation that was probably a lot sticker and more complex than Oriel had made it sound.

"It's hard for me to know how to respond to that, since I don't know the whole situation," he finally said, his voice low and thoughtful. "Is your boyfriend alright? Did he ask the staff to not allow you to see him?" If that was the case, then it might be a little simpler - Oriel just needed to probably have some time on his own and hope his partner forgave him for his actions someday, even if they didn't get back together. It was harder when the 'victim' didn't see themselves as such, because domestic abuse was a huge problem that Rue wasn't sure even he dared to dig into. "I'm sure you've been scolded enough for your behavior already, but I do hope you're seeing someone professional to help with the situation. That sounds incredibly rough; I can't say I've been in a similar situation to that." Well... his breaking things off with Phoenix had been incredibly hard for Rue, but he'd voluntarily torn himself away from that, and he hadn't abused Phoenix previously.