Time Warp: Feline Fandango

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Phoenix nodded and took a shaky breath. "H... How old were we when we met?" he asked, not remembering if Oriel had already told him or not; if he had, he'd forgotten, but that wasn't anything new. "It was at, um... Hammel, right?" It had to have been. His eyes squeezed shut and a half-childish, half-sad smile perked up the corner of his lips as Oriel poked him. "You are?" he asked obliviously, opened his eyes again to blink at Oriel with surprise. The younger man so rarely showed emotion, Phoenix didn't realize what he said was true. "You just seem so... Strong an' controlled," he murmured. After all, when they'd first met, Phoenix struggled to get the tiniest of smiles from Oriel.

"Oh, come on, you can laugh at me, I laugh at myself all the time," Phoenix told Oriel, seeing the mirth on the man's face. He was grinning good-naturedly after his trip. "But... I like that idea too," he murmured, wrapping both of his arms around Oriel's again. "You could carry me like a pretty princess," he snickered. Phoenix wouldn't mind it; he liked being the smaller, weaker person in the relationship. He got all the strong lovin's for himself.

Speaking of lovings... Phoenix blushed for the umpteenth time at the word Oriel used, and let out a childish giggle before covering his mouth and reddening even more. "Partner is good for introductions," he mumbled, giving a wave to his coworker as he led Oriel back to where the kittens were. "It's this room," he said, leading Oriel to one of the smaller areas off of the main room where the older cats lounged around on various perches. He opened the door and immediately headed towards a little calico lounging on a cat tree in the corner, looking like he owned the place. "This is Bandit," he announced, scooping the creature up and showing him to Oriel with excited eyes. "Isn't he adorable?" The kitten mewled.

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Oriel thought for a second, a completely unnecessary action as he remembered the day they met perfectly, as well as their respective ages when it happened. However, perhaps that was the reason for the delay in the first place? Oriel had a habit nowadays of reflecting back on the memories of him and Phoenix when they were young. They had their problems, more than most couples that age, actually, but just because they had a lot of bad memories didn't make the good ones any less precious to him. No matter how hard things were, it didn't mean they weren't happy together. "I was 16," he finally replied, batting his eyes up to meet with Phoenix's. "You were 18. You were supposed to have graduated, but ended up staying at Hammel for another two years." Oriel wasn't going to explain the reason unless Phoenix asked for it. A smirk touched his lips. "I fell on you. Right out of a tree." He chuckled at the memory, reminiscing about how stubborn they both were. "I refused to get off you. Ten minutes later, we were in your bedroom, exchanging kisses." There was more to it than that...but Oriel was afraid of revealing something that would make Phoenix question their relationship. 

He was still a kid in that respect. Still afraid of Phoenix leaving him behind. 

He nodded. "I am," he confirmed. He knew it was hard to tell sometimes what Oriel was feeling. Sometimes it was hard for him to tell himself what his feelings were. "I've never been good at expressing them," he admitted. "But they're there." Oriel shook his head. "I used to express them in the wrong way a lot. And that's actually what landed me..." Oriel didn't want to say it, though he was sure Phoenix understood. They'd talked about where Oriel had been for the past ten years. 

"I'm laughing hysterically on the inside, if it's any consolation," Oriel reassured his lover. He arched his head down and nuzzled against Phoenix's temple with the scruff of his chin. "Whatever you want. I don't mind." The longer and longer he spent with Phoenix by his side, lathe more and more Oriel felt like doing the silly, affectionate stuff he used to do. He was still hopelessly in love with this man, he’d realized. 

Partner…Oriel liked the sound of that too. There were other words he would like to have used, but they would have been a lie…because they weren’t quite there…yet. But partner was good. It indicated they were close, and permanent. “Boyfriend” to him sounded childish and fleeting. He didn’t want something like that. Oriel gave Phoenix a quick kiss atop his head as he was led into the cat canopy. Oriel scanned the room, moving his eyes from cat to cat until Phoenix called him over to show off Bandit. “He is,” he agreed. Oriel held out a tentative hand. “Can I…?’

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"I guess I wasn't too smart even back then, then," Phoenix chuckled, not surprised he hadn't graduated on time. However, the next bit did catch him by surprise, and he blinked, meeting Oriel's eyes with astonishment. "You fell on me?" he blurted. "How did... How did I not get my back broken or somethin'?" Not that he was calling Oriel super heavy or anything (although he was rather large and heavy now, with all that muscle mass), but he was pretty sure he'd always been a twig. He looked forward as the story went on, his surprise growing. "We were kissin' after just a few minutes after meetin' each other and... An' bein' stubborn?" Phoenix couldn't believe it now, given his current libido. He would never kiss a stranger he just met, no matter how attractive they were. Probably.

He glanced back over as Oriel spoke about his emotions, still having a hard time comprehending that as well. "I... Honestly, I wouldn't've thought that," Phoenix said quietly. His eyes saddened when Oriel trailed off. "At least you're better now," he encouraged softly, squeezing Oriel's rough hand with his own. "An', for the record, I like it when you at least tell me how you feel. That way... That way I know if I'm doin' somethin' wrong, or right." It was a constant worry for him, being unsure how Oriel would react to things. It was better than it used to be, at least.

"Mmmmm, if you say so," Phen purred, giggling at the scruffy nuzzles. "I wouldn't mind bein' treated like a princess. S'long as you don't dress me up like one." Back when his hair had been long and untamed, he'd been mistaken for a girl more than once, even at the facility. His full lips and lashes and the soft curves of his face tricked people, apparently. But Phoenix was super manly!

Yeah, right.

Playing with kittens wasn't exactly manly. Oh, well, Phoenix enjoyed it, dammit! He giggled as the kitten nibbled its tiny teeth into his hand, cooing at the little creature with a voice two octaves higher than normal. "Yeah, 'course you can," he encouraged, holding up the kitten a little higher so Oriel could pet it. "Wanna hold him? Or any of the others?" A couple other kitties had come to investigate the guests and were sniffing around their feet. Phoenix let out a tiny squeal of happiness at the sight of the small creatures clustered around Oriel. "I think they think you're their mommy, with that mane of yours," he teased, nuzzling the man's neck.

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It wasn’t that Phoenix wasn’t smart enough. Oriel had known that much back then even, Phoenix just needed to work at it and have someone push him in order to get his schoolwork done. It was his powers that were the real problem. And the fact that he had his addiction holding him back from wanting to work at either his schoolwork or powers training. Oriel wasn’t sure if he want to tell Phoenix about that either…wasn’t it just better that he didn’t know that about himself? “I wasn’t alway this big. That year…I was actually pretty lanky.” He smiled and nodded towards Phoenix. “You were taller than me by a few inches, actually.” Oriel could talk about that day forever, if he had forever to do it. “….neither of us were in very good places back then.” Oriel had just broken up with his partner and lost his best friend, and Phoenix was lost in his dust hallucinations, still heartbroken from when his own boyfriend left. “I think we were both just looking for someone to be with.” Anyone would have done.

He nodded. “Yeah…” he said softly. Oriel wasn’t like that anymore, at least he didn’t think so. He had a firm handle on his emotions now…right?

Of course.

Oriel smiled gently. “I can do that.” Oriel did that already. “I don’t get bothered by much though.” Hence why he didn’t say much about it.

“Not unless you ask me to,” Oriel reassured Phoenix. It was often enough when they were young that Oriel made Phoenix dress in women’s clothing. Oriel did the same, despite being a big burly man. But he didn’t need to play those kinds of games anymore. He was pretty content with what they had now.

He had Phoenix, a job, a life, and soon, probably, a kitten. Yes, Oriel was already thinking about how they could manage to keep this kitten despite not being quite ready for it yet. “He’s really tiny,” Oriel said as he brushed a single giant finger over the top of the kitten’s head. He nodded, holding his hands out to receive the little Bandit. “I’m feel like I might crush him…” he breathed as he held the kitten between his two extra large hands. He glanced down to the cluster that had corralled at his feet and released a short laugh. “I can’t take all of you,” he asserted with a smile. Though if he could, he probably would.

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“Me? Taller than you?” Phoenix replied, surprised. He looked up at the difference now – Oriel was at least three or four inches taller. “Well, I guess if I was two years older…” Phoenix didn’t feel older than Oriel. Given how much the younger boy took care of him, Phen felt like a child in comparison. He nodded slowly at the explanation, the corner of his mouth twisting into a half-frown. “I guess we’ve both hard our share of rough life experiences, huh?” he murmured, resting his head against Oriel’s arm. “I’m… I’m glad it was you that I found.”

Phoenix chuckled. “I’d rather you didn’t… Ever,” he replied, poking his own face. “People mistake me enough for a woman as it is. Not that there’s anythin’ wrong with bein’ a woman but… I’m not.” He didn’t see how people could mistake him, given he was a twig with no curves whatsoever, but… Whatever.

Phoenix giggled again, entirely amused with anything that the kitten did. “He is, isn’t he?” he replied, cooing and nuzzling his nose against the little creature’s. “Perfect size for me.” Granted, eventually he would become a big kitty, but Phen wasn’t thinking about that. He handed over the kitty when Oriel held out his hands, shaking his head at Oriel’s concerns. “You’re super gentle with me, you’d be great with a kitten,” he reassured him. Phoenix turned his attention back to the hoard and pouted. “Oh, can we pleaseeee,” he pretended to plead. Then he laughed again and continued scritching behind Bandit’s ears. Phoenix sat in one of the chairs in the room and almost immediately he had a black and white kitten pouncing into his lap. “Aww…. He looks kind of like Oreo….”

…. Oreo…

The memory hit him without warning.

Seeing the kitten in the pet store… Coaxing Junpei to lend them the money to buy him and sneak him into their dorm room.... And Oriel had…. Oriel….!

“Oriel,” he breathed, having froze in place as the kitten romped in his lap. “I… I remember us sneaking Oreo back to our room….” Pieces kept falling into place, almost overwhelmingly, and Phoenix started to shake, stunned with the rush of lost memories. “I r-r-remember you…..”

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He nodded, smiling at the memory. Back then, Oriel had still looked like the boy he was, then suddenly shot up some inches over the next year. The difference was unrecognizable, actually. Almost like he was a different person. “Yeah,” he said, his smile fading. Things were pretty rough back then, before he met Phoenix. And as much as he would have liked it to have been perfect, it wasn’t until a few years later that they’d finally been able to settle down without much trouble. “I am too.” And then Oriel had to…and that ruined it all.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t blame himself for everything that’d happened to Phoenix in the aftermath.

“I won’t then,” he promised. He wouldn’t promise that he wouldn’t wear a dress himself though. Though even Oriel wasn’t sure if it was a hobby he wanted to get back into at this stage in his life. We’ll see.

The kitten seemed like the tiniest creature in existence within Oriel’s giant palms. He wouldn’t crush it, he knew, but it was amazing how easily he could. Just one little mistake and…it was daunting to think about something so fragile. Oriel shook his head. “I don’t even know if we can take one yet.” They still had to ask his mom. Though Oriel was pretty sure she’d say yes…maybe.

Oriel’s attention was completely captured by the kitten, he didn’t notice anything that had gone on with Phoenix until he finally said something.

“You…you do?” Oriel was stunned, not sure he heard right. He momentarily forgot about the kitten in his hands and approached his lover. “What…what do you remember…?” he asked hesitantly. Oriel wanted specifics here.

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Phoenix's breath started to come out faster as images kept falling into place, like pieces of a puzzle locking together in his head. That's how it usually happened when he got memories back - little bits and pieces eventually molded together to form a longer memory. But... But never had he been able to recall a memory that involved his lover like this until now.

"I.... I remember us lookin' at puppies and kittens at the pet store..." he breathed, staring out into space as Oriel approached him. "I remember you... Bein' scared you'd hurt the kitten... Just like now." He winced as his head hurt a little, but the memory kept coming. "We.... We asked Junpei for money t'buy it, and then we snuck it t'the dorm we shared..." He was speaking like he'd seen a ghost, only it was the ghost of his past that had finally, finally caught up with him.

"We fed him milk.... And he spilled it all over." A small smile formed on his lips. "... You got jealous that I was givin' it so much attention. So I put it on your chest.... An' he climbed on your face." He paused a moment. "I think I fell asleep after that. The... The memory ends there."

However, it was enough to bring back the knowledge of how Phoenix had felt around Oriel back then, how affectionate and needy he'd been. He could practically feel the other memories straining to return, just under the surface of his mind, urging to be set loose. "I was in love with you even then," he whispered, finally raising his eyes to look at Oriel. "W... We weren't together at that point, but I loved you."

The kitten nipped his finger, and Phoenix jumped, brought completely back to the present. He wanted to cling onto that memory for fear that it would slip away. "Do.... Do you remember all that happening?" he murmured, realizing he hadn't had any confirmation yet that any of that memory was real. What if it was just a dream?

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Phoenix…he…really?

Oriel had tried to convince himself it would never happen, but there was always that little glimmer of hope(and fear) that somehow, someday, at the most random of times, Phoenix would suddenly remember everything he’d forgotten. Of course he was glad that Phoenix remembered him, something, anything about him. But he was still afraid of what else might be lurking in the untapped recesses of his mind that might possibly….make Phoenix question their relationship history.

The possibilities were so uncertain. And they filled Oriel with a needless anxiety that he tried to ignore daily. Luckily….everything Phoenix seemed to be iterating back to Oriel sounded…pleasant. He nodded as Phoenix recounted the memory, about as exact as Oriel remembered it. “That’s right,” he reassured his lover. “That’s exactly what happened.” Oriel smiled.

Oriel set the kitten down on one of the carpeted play-tables then reached for Phoenix to pull him to his feet, kitten and all. “I loved you too,” he muttered softly with a grain in his voice. “You were so excited about the kitten, I couldn’t say no even though I knew we couldn’t keep him.” Oriel had always felt guilty about that. “It’s…always been hard for me to say no to your silly requests.” And then when he did, it had always come out a lot harsher than he’d meant it to. But Phoenix probably didn’t remember any of that.

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Phoenix had loved Oriel even back when he did have all of these memories. That wasn't going to change anything now; it might take some adjusting, but Oriel had become the one person in this world that Phoenix needed to survive, needed like air and water and sunlight. Nothing was going to change that, so he wasn't afraid of the memories returning, despite the warnings that Oriel had spoken of before. He was... Ecstatic.

And so he grinned as the younger man confirmed his memory, his excitement and relief clear in his usually quiet expression. "I remember you!" he cried again, tears welling up in his eyes from... All of the emotions. "I thought... I was afraid I wouldn't... Oh, Oriel..." His hands clasped together over his mouth, trying (and failing) to contain his feelings. The tears started flowing unhindered down his cheeks.

He let Oriel pull him up, his watery eyes never leaving his lover's. "W-e should have told each other how we felt s-sooner," Phoenix hiccuped, even though he'd grasped that they had both had emotional troubles back then, especially in expressing them. "Th-anks for tryin' anyway," he laughed a bit sadly, thinking of the kitten he'd adored so much. They just had to get one now. Bandit was looking at both of them like they were weirdos, and mewled for attention. Phoenix glanced at the calico and laughed again before nuzzling himself against Oriel's broad chest. "I feel other memories startin' t'surface too," he murmured. "Somethin'... Somethin' with a hot tub... And a cabin... And other stuff I can't really explain yet but... But I'm sure it'll come back t'me!" Now that he'd had one memory brought back, the others were sure to follow. Phoenix pulled back just enough to land a smacker on Oriel's mouth; Bandit mewled again. "I still love you," he murmured against the man's lips. "I never won't love you."

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“Yeah…” Oriel nodded and lowered his head. “Yeah…we should have.” Back then, Oriel didn’t know…he didn’t understand his emotions very well back then. He still didn’t understand them very well. But he did know that he loved Phoenix. That he wanted to be with the other man. Even now, he wanted it.

Seeing the tears streaming down Phoenix’s cheeks was enough to coax some wetness in his own eyes. “Yeah, I did. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did.” Oriel wrapped his arms around him and pressed Phoenix against his chest. And Oriel buried his face down into his lover’s shoulder. The tears were coming faster now.

“There’s….there’s a lot there….a lot of good memories buried under there…” He breathed in sharply let it out in a long shudder. “But…there’s a lot of bad in there too…” Oriel was so afraid of what might come first over others. His lips met against Phoenix’s and once again he was melted in his embrace.

“I…I love you too…” he whispered in his ear. Oriel stayed like that for a few moments, drinking in the amazingness of it all. Then he chuckled. “We should get a cat. And…get an apartment. One of our own.”

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Phoenix felt like he might just burst any moment from how overwhelming this was. He could never remember feeling so completely content and happy and almost... At peace... Here wrapped in Oriel's arms. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried so much and so easily, either.

"Good or bad, I wanna remember it all," he hiccuped, fingers grasping onto the back of Oriel's shirt. "I-I was so tired of not rememberin' anything, I don't care what it is that comes back to me, nothin's gonna change now. It's all done and in the past anyway." The months he'd spent with Oriel had been more than enough for Phoenix to trust him with his life. Hell, he was pretty much just living for the younger man now.

The things that Oriel was whispering to Phoenix sounded like perfection. "I wanna do that," he replied, equally as soft. "I r-really, really wanna do that..." They could get by on their own, he was sure of it. As long as they had each other, they could do anything. "W-we can move somewhere close to Tak so we can help out with her and the baby..." He peeked down at Bandit again, who was looking up at them with what seemed like curiosity. "And y-yeah... We need a cat."

They could do it. They would do it.