Where my demons hide... (open)

[Salem Hirch]

((Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts))

Ahh yes, the annual Hammel Retreat. A time where Salem always felt at home, a time where he'd busy himself climbing trees and swimming in the slightly cold water. This year however, was very different. The young man had been through so much and had gone from being rude and flirting, to practically ignoring everyone that once cared about him. It hurt to see the way some of his friends looked at him, so he had no intention of going on the retreat this year, but his parents insisted. In fact, it had been down right forced upon him, so his mood was not exactly the best. 

Actually, his mood was as far south as it could possibly go. Salem was, to the say the least, in a dark place. A place he had never been in before, and it scared him to his core. Though he hid it well, he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to handle it. The other students seemed to be enjoying themselves well enough and it just made him angry. Angry and sad all at once. He watched his friends as they had fun and forgot about school and life, where he just set and stared into the trees or stayed in his cabin. At least one person had tried to get him to join them at a campfire, but he just looked at them like the other wasn't even there.

Now he was just sitting on his bunk and staring at the floor. A book lay next to him on the bed, open to a bookmarked page and totally forgotten. His mood had sunk so low that even a book did not hold his attention long, if at all. His heart sunk further as he thought for a moment of playing his guitar, but then remembered he gave it to Cam. Thinking of Cam made him think of Carter, thinking of Carter made him think of his brother, thinking of his brother took him deeper into the darkness inside of him. Something inside Salem snapped then, that final thread holding him together.

It felt as though all the will to carry on was just gone, but somehow he managed to stand. Slowly and steadily, the blonde boy made his way out of the cabin, trying his best not to draw attention to himself as he headed towards one of the many hiking trails. His mind was so far gone that he barely registered the low branches of bushes grabbing at his jeans, or the sudden chilly breeze that made goosebumps on his arms. No, he had a single minded thought, to get up this trail and to the small cliff overlooking the lake below. It wasn't very high up, but it was dangerous all the same, but that is exactly why Salem wanted to be there.

Something in his mind told him to stop, that someone would notice, but he marched doggedly on. As if he wasn't really there anymore, even ignoring the sounds of someone following him. Maybe they were just in the woods as well, or it could have just as easily been an animal. It did not take long to get to the cliff anyway, so there was really no stopping him. Once there, Salem paused and looked down. A tightness filled his chest as he stood near the edge. Closing his eyes, a single teared rolled down his cheek and he stood there silently...thinking...waiting...building up the courage to just...jump.

[Garrett Hale]

Garrett went on the Retreat because, in all honesty, it seemed like a better idea than hanging around the campus for a week for no reason. While he wasn't always an overly social individual, he figured the outdoors changed a lot of people. The douchebags were just a little less douchey, and the cardboard cut-out bitches were a little less likely to give you wicked paper cuts.

He liked to swim, so there was that. Swimming in the crystal clear lake was a welcome change to laps at the pool. It was therapeutic - better than the irregular sessions he was growing tired of.

The Retreat so far had only just made him want to be on his own, and luckily the setting made that incredibly easy. Mountain trails weren't favoured by most, and that worked perfectly for him. Shorts, sneakers and a decent fitting tank meant he could wander along the path in comfort and maybe dive off the edge if he found one closest to the water.

But he didn't. Instead, he found a blonde guy, on his own, with his toes practically hanging from the edge.

"Woah dude," Garrett offered quickly, pausing half a step behind; "It's way too high for a cliff dive."

[Salem Hirch]

His body had started to tremble as the cold finally caught up to him and he hugged himself tightly. A few tears started to trickle down his cheeks as he breathed deeply and whispered to himself. Salem had also become aware that someone was there with him, but it didn't matter, he didn't care anymore. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked down, it was a very long drop and he hoped it would do the job. At first he thought maybe the other person didn't see him and had walked by, but no. In the cool shadows of the trees and rocks, a voice called out. Without turning, Salem spoke and his voice cracked a little.

"Well, I'm not exactly aiming for the water." It was a very blunt statement, one definitely from someone who was hurting. "Just go away and pretend you never saw me...it's pretty easy to do." The young man didn't want to look over his shoulder at the other. He knew it was a guy, and he was pretty sure it wasn't someone he knew, mostly because he didn't think any of them cared anymore. Which of course, was his own fault. His foot trembled on the edge of the rocks as he tested the air. Still, the person was there. "Go away!" He shouted.

This time he glanced quickly back. Even though his eyes were full of tears, they seemed...dull.

[Garrett Hale]

Garrett nodded his head to the side once. Not aiming for the water; if it was a joke, it wasn't a very good one. And it wasn't articulated as such. It was hard to ignore the alarm bells that rang from being told to turn around. To walk back like he'd never seen some random guy dangling his toes over the edge of a bit of a gnarly cliff.

He lowered his eyebrows when he shouted, too. Harsh. Way too harsh for just nothing.

Garrett caught his eyes the moment he looked back. A blank expression; one he knew far too well for the age in which he stood. He took a breath, slow into his lungs as he took the time to taste the difference in the air.

"Nah, I think I'll stick around." He replied, his voice rising a little as he stepped forward. Heavy steps towards the edge himself, "Cause like, you don't own the spot."

As he stood at the edge, he provided ample distance between the two. He felt the darkness of a shadow at his feet. The way it lapped at his soles with a traceable hunger. "You wanna go? Or should I?"

[Salem Hirch]

So, this person was not going to leave and that irritated the young man. Far more than it really should have. Why should Salem care if some lunatic wanted to stay and watch him jump off a cliff? Slowly, he turned his eyes back to the cliff edge, not really sure what to do next and hoping the other boy would just leave.

No such luck, in fact, the other was coming closer. That was not something Salem had expected and it was making him nervous. His blue eyes glanced through his messy shag or blonde and watched. The dark haired boy spoke and it almost seemed like a joke, about not owning the spot. Under different circumstances, Salem would have likely chuckled or even blushed. "No, I don't." His reply was softer than his former yelling.

Then, the other asked about jumping. This really threw the illusionist off, what was this guy playing at? Did he care? Was he crazy? "Don't make stupid jokes." His voice was flat, as he took another timid step closer. "Besides...why do you care if I jump? You don't even know me." That was a little blunt, but Salem was frustrated.

[Garrett Hale]

A small nod from the dark haired boy. No, he did not own the cliff side. And that was step one. Softer notes poured from his mouth in such a stark contrast. That felt like step two.

Garrett immediately frowned at the idea of a joke. From his crescendo he certainly felt the crash of his voice. But he wasn't looking, so the only movement he registered was minor. A small step, maybe. But he couldn't be sure. He shrugged his shoulders at the question. "I don't know you," He reasoned, nodding his head to once side. It was an obvious fact that he couldn't deny.

Arms out, palms flat facing out. Little to no wind resistance from the breaks in the trees. But it still felt good against his skin, however minor it was.

"Who's joking?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as he finally glanced over, "Are you?" He tilted his chin up a touch, "You don't even know me, either, so how do you know if I am?"

[Salem Hirch]

For the moment, Salem had stopped paying any attention to the other boy. His mind had focused on the ground below him, at least the bits he could make out through the trees. It was indeed a long way down, but that was not where his mind was. A yellow flicker and a bit of heat from his eyes started to betray his inner thoughts. Not to far below, on a rock that jutted out from the face of the cliff, stood a boy. Someone just a few years older than Salem, but looked a lot like him. Oh, Salem was well aware this was the image of his brother Aiden, so he shut his eyes quickly. He didn't want to look at that on top of the fact, the other was saying something.

The dark haired guy, had asked if he was joking. "No, I'm not. I don't know if you are or not, but I guess it doesn't really matter does it." With a heavy sigh, the blonde turned from the cliff edge and started to walk away. Not towards the path back down, but the one further up. "Keep this cliff if you want, I don't care..." Salem was not having second thoughts, but his demeanor had softened considerably. In fact, he was shaking again. Partially because of the cold, and partially because his emotions were finally starting to settle in his brain.

As he took a few more steps, he stopped. If the other boy had been standing in front of him, he would have seen that Salem was on the verge of breaking down into tears. The young boy was trying his best to hold it in, so he did the only thing he could think to do...run. It wasn't a very fast run either, a little sprinted version of his normal walking speed at best. Now he wasn't sure what he was trying to distance himself from, he just wanted to get to a higher place at the moment.

[Garrett Hale]

With his eyes steadily attuned to the blonde guy beside him. With his eyebrows still raised, Garrett took in the response given to him. The tension hung heavy in the air over the supposed argument; who was joking and who wasn’t?

But he took careful steps away from the edge, and the shadow traveller turned his attention to watch the way he moved. He was taking the path, but where he was off to was anyone’s guess. On the plus side, if it was the plus side, the cliff itself was actually his. He momentarily glanced down – he wondered if he’d seen someone on the lower edges of the cliffs, but that’d be impossible, wouldn’t it.

Suddenly, whoever he was was sprinting off in a quick fit. Not quick enough to disappear from view right away, but quick enough to potentially be on the verge of something. His cliff would have to wait.

Turning away from the edge, he dashed off in the same direction, curiosity peaked with little resolve in sight. “Hey!” He called through growing breaths, “Where’re you going now?”

[Salem Hirch]

Salem had made it only a few yards away when he heard the sounds of footsteps behind him. He didn't want to stop, but his legs were shaking to bad, and the urge to cry was becoming almost too much. Shortly before another little over hang that was further up, the blonde paused and took a breath.

At first he was unsure if the other boy was still following him. This was due to the fact that his poor heart was racing which caused a heavy pounding in his ears. Everything that had happened to him in the past few months came flooding into his mind like a tidal wave. A cry of frustration was building in him, but it was halted by the other's voice.

Swinging around to look behind him, a branch caught Salem's cheek and made a dark scratch, causing the cry a means to escape. It was more like a grunt, but a desperately sad one. Placing a hand on his cheek, he felt the heat of a small amount of blood that dotted up on the scar. It was nothing to panic about, it was mildly worse than a paper cut-at best. Somehow though, this little act opened a flood gate in the young man and the tears started to flow.

"What do you want from me?" He blurted to the other. His voice no longer flat, or soft. It had taken on that same desperate sadness his cry had taken on earlier. "You....just...please..." The tone started to soften again quickly as Salem half slumped against a tree. His tears teetering on the verge of full on sobbing. "Please....just...leave me alone?" Another little gasp for controlled air escaped him as he looked away. "Just...leave.." With that last little effort of words, Salem broke down, shaking as he started to sob.

[Garrett Hale]

There was something about the strange encounter that simply couldn't be walked away from. It felt stupid to let this guy leave now, especially given the apparent state he was in.

Garrett winced for him at the sudden scrape on his face. The small, almost insignificant draw of blood was still a draw of blood nonetheless. The heat was pretty obvious in his cheeks, but it might have been more from the fact that he was crying as opposed to wearing a new mark. Stopping from his slow run, Garrett took a breath and rolled his shoulders back, like the question hit him with physical force.

Raising a hand, he rifled it through his hair to shift it all back. His other hand met the first behind the back of his head, fingers interlocking as he took slow steps to close the distance between them.

"Why?"

[Salem Hirch]

Somehow, he had managed to find a place to sit. If he had not, Salem was sure he would have fallen to his knees. His will to fight was leaving him in so many ways, he wanted to just give up everything right there. At first he was sobbing hard, but not loudly. He didn't mind crying in front of someone he didn't know, and true this was an odd situation, but he was not about to let himself look so foolish as to break down into loud fits of despair. Despite what his brain and heart were wanting.

Salem tired his best to catch his breath and to subdue himself into at least a manageable state. After a few moments of heavy panting and wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt, he seemed to calm down. Well, to the state of being able to speak. He didn't dare look up at the other boy. Especially when he asked Salem a question. It was a simple question, but to be honest, Salem wasn't sure what he meant.

True, he wasn't sure, but something in him clicked again. Almost as if this stranger had hit some sort of reset button in Salem's brain and he managed to look up at him. There was no way Salem could explain the jumbled mess that was going on in his skull to anyone, let alone himself. However, somewhere...deep down...he knew this guy just saved his life.

"Why what?" He managed to croak out after several moments of somewhat silence. Somewhat, because Salem was still crying. His question wasn't corse or harsh, it was a simple clarifying question and his tone was definitely back to a normal one. Well, a sore but normal one at least.

[Garrett Hale]

Drumming his thumbs at the base of his neck, Garrett watched the way he sat. How he took the time to find the means to compose himself. Pursing his lips, he thought to whistle through the silence, but his better judgement kicked in and told him not to disturb such a moment.

Personally, he always hated when such moments were disturbed. It would have been hypocritical.

Why what. The corner of his mouth threatened a grin. Maybe that was the joke. But without this stranger's eyes on him, he knew his expression would be lost. Careful steps to close the distance were met with the base of a tree, and he unfurled his arms from the back of his head in order to ease himself down beside him.

"Why should I go?" Garrett asked, but he made no turn to look at him. Rather, he stared straight out, "What's the point of leaving?"

[Salem Hirch]

Slowly, Salem buried his face in his palms. It was really the only think he could think to do at that moment. He hated not know what to do or say and this was definitely one of those times. Brushing his face a little, and smoothing back his hair, he glanced up in time to see the other boy sit beside him. Why this felt like such a welcomed sight, Salem didn't know.

Then something else hit him, he realized he cared what this other person was thinking right now. This stranger was, in some way, worried about Salem and that made him feel awkward. It was a feeling he had not felt in months and it was like an old familiar blanket being wrapped around him. Suddenly, Salem felt safe, and a little bit more like his old self.

"You.." He started to speak again. It was very easy to tell this was as close to normal his voice would be for now. "You don't have to I guess. I..I just don't understand why you would want to stay..." Salem hung his head, but kept on eye on the dark haired guy next to him and a little whisper cracked through his lips. It was something he wanted to say out loud, but was too embarrassed to say it. So he hoped the other didn't pick up on it. "I guess there isn't a point...I mean...I don't know...I'm just...really confused.."

[Garrett Hale]

Pressing his hands together in his lap, Garrett rolled his thumbs together. One over the other slowly as he heard the first word fall from this guy's mouth. A slow drawl with little attacked to it. His voice still tremored with the obvious kind of tension, and so Garrett kept his eyes forward. In moments like these he knew eye contact could be discouraging.

Shrugging his shoulders, he raised his hands again, resting at the back of his head as he leaned against the nearby tree. Eyes turned their attention up instead, towards the small breaks in the trees from the path itself.

"You rock up and some guy's on the edge of a cliff?" The shadow walker started, "Yeah, I bet you're confused."

[Salem Hirch]

Still trembling a little, Salem slowly and very casually turned his face to look at the other boy. His vision was blurry, and his head felt as though it would explode at any moment, but he wanted to see who he was talking to. Granted, his vision was not helped by the lack of his glasses either. In his distraught state, he had either dropped them somewhere on the path, or left them in the cabin. Luckily the other was close enough for Salem to make out.

Through his tear strained and red cheeks, he gave a half hearted chuckle. Nothing remotely happy, more so a sound of relief mixed with a lot of nervous tension. Tilting his head, Salem listened as the other spoke and nodded. "I..I don't really know what came over me." He did, but not in any kind of thought process that seemed coherent to him, "Just...I've been going through a lot lately and I guess I just snapped or something." There was a little more awkward silence and Salem looked away again.

"I'm sorry. I..i..if I scared you. Or ya know, made you miss out on something vastly more important." Was he apologizing to the stranger or himself? Salem knew that some of this was directed at himself, and though part of him still wanted to be alone, he was very glad to have the other there. Sniffling, he turned his head once again, "I'm Salem, by the way."