Helping the Helpless (Alanna)
Dec 30, 2014 3:57:12 GMT -5
Post by Alanna Darlington on Dec 30, 2014 3:57:12 GMT -5
Alanna gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Well, trying is what matters," she said gently. She knew he was frustrated - she could hear it - and that was something she understood. Technically telepathy was supposed to be a special ability - an asset even. Yet to her it did feel something more akin to a disability. Instead of causing her to rely on others, it kept her separate and isolated from everyone. It wasn't the same, but she did understand that frustration of not being able to change your circumstances. "It can only get better, right?"
She hesitated when he posed his initial question, unsure how to respond vaguely. Finally she just told him the full truth. She winced slightly at the initial thought of panic that came with the admission, though she was grateful he didn't dwell on that feeling. She swallowed hard and nodded in agreement - it was hard.
"Sorry," she murmured. "I don't mean to eavesdrop... it's just... with so many people around," she said, pausing to gesture to the crowded hallway, "well, it's hard not to hear bits and pieces." Alanna looked properly sheepish, her gaze turned downward.
She shrugged. "As for the hiding... The training does help, but the training is mostly to block everything out. But the more people there are... it's like their thoughts are jackhammers chipping away at my mental walls and..." She bit her lip. "Besides. Most people don't want to be around someone who can get into their heads like that anyway."
Alanna forced a laugh, still not looking at him. She was being ridiculous. Here Oliver was being nice to her and she was unloading all this crap on him. What was wrong with her? She shouldn't have said anything in the first place. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be going on like this. It's stupid anyway."
She hesitated when he posed his initial question, unsure how to respond vaguely. Finally she just told him the full truth. She winced slightly at the initial thought of panic that came with the admission, though she was grateful he didn't dwell on that feeling. She swallowed hard and nodded in agreement - it was hard.
"Sorry," she murmured. "I don't mean to eavesdrop... it's just... with so many people around," she said, pausing to gesture to the crowded hallway, "well, it's hard not to hear bits and pieces." Alanna looked properly sheepish, her gaze turned downward.
She shrugged. "As for the hiding... The training does help, but the training is mostly to block everything out. But the more people there are... it's like their thoughts are jackhammers chipping away at my mental walls and..." She bit her lip. "Besides. Most people don't want to be around someone who can get into their heads like that anyway."
Alanna forced a laugh, still not looking at him. She was being ridiculous. Here Oliver was being nice to her and she was unloading all this crap on him. What was wrong with her? She shouldn't have said anything in the first place. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be going on like this. It's stupid anyway."