Akilles Torbin (DONE)

[Akilles Torbin]

The Basics

Name: Akilles Derrick Torbin
Nicknames: Eric
Age: 17
Orientation: Heterosexual
Desired Rank/Job: Student
Powers:Super Strength and Super Durability. Side-effects include fatigue and the need for an extremely high caloric intake. He also has a slower healing rate.
Play By: Alexander Ludwig

The Details

Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Blue
Any Piercings? No
Any Tattoos?The words "Strength and Wisdom" are tattooed in Swedish on his left bicep. The words "Pride and Purpose" are tattooed vertically down his back beside his spine in Swedish.
Any Scars?A small scar above his right eye that he earned at a young age playing hockey.
General Appearance: Eric stands 6'3" tall and had a bulky athletic build. He is of caucasion ethnicity, and thus has average white skin. Eric usually keeps his hair cut close to his scalp, and rarely styles it. His wardrobe consists of a small variety of simple shirts, shorts, and jeans. Eric almost always wears a pair of black pumas on his feet. Eric maintains good hygiene.
Personality: Initially, Eric appears to be an average high school jock. He is naturally outgoing and interested in conversation. He is not afraid to try new things, and can be described as impulsive. When motivated, Eric is a hard and dedicated worker. He approaches new tasks and challenges with determination and vigor. Eric's dominant personality often causes him to gravitate towards leadership roles. He does not display his emotions in public, and can fit into the "tough guy" generalization.

The tough and outgoing vibes that Eric projects is a large part of his personality, but not all of it. If one were able to talk to Eric in a private setting and get him to open up to him/her, then he/she would be surprised to see Eric's more raw and emotional side. From an outsider's perspective, Eric seems to focus only on the positives, but he is not as happy and optimisitc as he appears to be. The emotions he keeps bottled up sometimes cause him to explode in anger from time to time, but he is generally able to keep his rage under control. His outbursts usually consist of him breaking something and shouting curse words.

The softer side of Eric often leads him to be accepting and friendly towards pretty much everybody. He can be quite stubborn on some issues, but is generally relaxed and laid back. He has a broad sense of humour. His self-confidence is high.

Your Vices

Likes:
[*]Eric is a big sports fan, and enjoys both playing and watching sports. His absolute favorite sport is rugby, but he is also a fan of futbol (soccer) and hockey. Baseball and American football are growing on him. He engages in track and field.
[*]Eric loves to snowboard.
[*]Eric likes listening to all kinds of music, but prefers small indie rock bands the most; however, he has no musical talent whatsoever.
[*]Eric is gaining an interest in the variety of different world cultures that populate the globe, especially all of the different languages. He is not particlarly well-travelled, but would like to be.
[*]Eric likes people, and he likes conversation, especially conversations with people he has not met before.
[*]Eric likes pushing his powers to new limits. He enjoys testing just how strong and durable he is with ill thought out feats and stunts.
Dislikes:
[*]Eric dislikes relying on others for help. He likes being independent and capable of doing everything himself.
[*]Eric is not a fan of technology in general, mostly because of his own inability to master it.
[*]Eric does not like art, theatre, or literature, mostly because of personal tastes.
[*]Eric is not a fan of going to school and attending class. He knows better than to skip, but sometimes causes problems when he is bored.
[*]Eric will be friends with people who drink alcohol, but he does not approve of anyone consuming alcohol. He has also taken a strong stance against drugs.
[*]Eric's pet peeve is when people who cannot sing try to sing along with songs.
Strengths:
[*]Even without his powers, Eric was a pretty good athlete. He combines his enhanced strength with excellent natural agility, speed, stamina, and reaction time.
[*]Eric's training at Kocher consisted of him practicing several forms of martial arts to help him learn how to control his enhanced strength. One of the benefits of such training is that Eric is now above average in Martial Arts. He mostly focused on taekwondo and tai chi.
[*]The one scholary pursuit Eric is skilled at his linguistics. He is fluent in Swedish, and profficient in English and Italian. He is working on German and French, but is still very much a beginner.
[*]Eric is charismatic.
[*]Learning from his father, Eric is not a bad handyman and mechanic, but he could be better if he put more time into it.
[*]Eric has taken a couple of cooking classes in the past, and can cook decently.
Weaknesses:
[*]Eric does not perform strongly in some subjects in school. He is especially weak in math and science.
[*]Eric's strength often causes him to break small technological gadgets such as cellphones and Ipods. He is not skilled in operating a computer or other electronical device either.
[*]Eric has a severe peanut allergy.
[*]Most tasks that require extreme amounts patience and/or delicacy give Eric trouble.
[*]Eric can be too competitive for his own good, a trait that is derived from his intense self-pride. He dislikes delving into his own weaknesses, and often avoids situations where he will lose. His pride is what keeps him from truly opening up to people, and sometimes it even causes him to feel lonely. Eric has many friends, but few close friends. His competitiveness can also push some people away.
[*]Eric is not very neat or organized. He keeps himself clean but not much else.
Fears: Eric is semi-afraid of close intimacy.
Secret: None

Family Ties

Father: Derrick Torbin
Mother:Adina Torbin
Siblings:None
Any Other Important People:
Jonn Zettesberg-Deceased Best Friend
Sadie Eliassen-Former Girlfriend

History

Warning: Drunk Driving and Death

Akilles was born in a small town just outside of Stockholm, Sweden, on May 19, 1997. His mother, Adina Torbin, was a lawyer in a decent-sized law firm inside the city, while Eric's father, Derrick Torbin, works as a mechanic and repairman. Eric and his parent shared a normal loving relationship, and they provided him with plenty of opportunities.

Growing up, Eric befriended Jonn Zettesberg, a boy the same age as Eric who
lived just down the street. Eric and Jonn did everything together, and developed a close bond during their younger years. As they grew up, Eric and Jonn developed different interests. Eric was extroverted and a natural athlete, while Jonn was more introverted and played sports mostly for fun. They remained good friends, and played on the same sports teams all the way through middle school.

During Eric and Jonn's freshman year of high school, everything changed. Jonn failed to make any of the sports team, while Eric secured a spot on the high school's prestigous Rugby team. The pair attended a house party together, with Eric pledging to be the designated driver, despite the fact that he was still two years away from a learner's license. At the party, however, Eric largely ignored Jonn, instead and instead spent most of the time with the other Rugby players. Hurt, shy and alone, Jonn drank a substantial amount of booze and then asked Eric for a ride home. Not wanting to leave the party, Eric advised Jonn to either wait or find another way home. The friends argued a bit, then Jonn angrily resolved to drive home himself. He managed to go two blocks before he crashed into a tree and was killed.

Upon hearing the news the next morning, Eric was overcome with anger and guilt. In his anger, Eric punched a hole right through a brick wall, an action that identified himself as a meta-human.

Within two weeks of the accident, Eric was recruited into Kocher High School for the Gifted located in Switzerland. Eric attended Kocher for the remainder of his freshman year, and for both his sophmore and junior years. Eric adapted to life at Kocher easily enough, and his life continued on without incident. He was able to make new friends, and even landed a girlfriend.

Halfway through his senior year, Eric transferred to Hammel. His mother had accepted a job at a law firm in New York, and Eric's parents were moving to America. Eric decided to move as well because he wanted to stay relatively close to his parents, and he was curious to experience American culture. Shortly before the transfer, Eric went through a bloodless break-up with his then girlfriend and fellow meta-human, Sadie Eliassen, because of the potential hardships of a long distance relationship.

Roleplay Example

The plane's engines roared as it took off into the sky and away from what had been Eric's home over the last three years. Looking out of the window, Eric saw the grey asphalt landing strip give way to snow-covered farmland. Then the plane entered the low-hanging grey clouds and the world disappeared under Eric's feet.

He looked as the passenger sitting next to him, a middle-aged man typing furiously on his labtop. Eric decided not to bother the man...yet.

The pressure in Eric's ears faded as the plane leveled out. Glancing once again out the window, Eric smiled as he realized that the plane was now actually abive the clouds. A flight attendant started walking up and down the aisles, offering food and beverage services. Eric's stomach rumbled, even though he had just eaten in the airport before take-off. At Kocher, he had learned that his massive appetite was because of his superpowers. The man next to Eric asked for a bag of nuts.

"Yo man, I'm allergic to nuts", Eric calmly objected

"Oh, sorry, um, yeah, not nuts for me then", the man replied. There was a moment of awkward silence. The man did not seem to know what to do next. Naturally, Eric filled the void.

"I'll have a ham'n'swiss sandwich with a coke", Eric told the flight attendant, flashing her a smile.

"I'll have the same", the man decided.

The flight attendant nodded and disappeared down the aisle. The man returned to whatever he had been typing. Eric heard a five year old yell and kick the back of Eric's seat.

At least they had a futbol game showing on the back of the seat in front of him.

What About You?

Name: Rice
Age: Eighteen
Experience: Ten months
How Did You Find Us? Looking through Proboards
Ready To Play? Of course!

[Admin!]

Not Quite

Welcome to Hammel, Rice! We love to have new players join us. Akilles is an interesting character, but he requires several edits before he can fit into Hammel.

The first question I have is about his tattoos? Are those easier for minors to obtain in Sweden? Otherwise, did his parents sign off on allowing him to have them as a minor?

Also, you give a great outline of his personality but you mention that occasionally he has rage outbursts. Are these verbal? Or are they physical outbursts? Please clarify this a bit.

Under strengths, you mention that he is above average in martial arts? Martial arts encompass a number of different disciplines; which one has he taken? You don't mention this in his history at all, so please 1) clarify which discipline (Karate? Tae Kwon Do? etc.?) and explain a bit in his history about how he got involved with it to learn so that they are consistent.

You also mention that he is fluent in Swedish (his first language) and then proficient in four other languages, including English. Where did he acquire these other languages if he does not work that hard in school? I would recommend cutting this down to three, Swedish, English, and then another language of your choosing for him.

The rest of the changes all flow from his history, which needs to be changed. We appreciate the trigger warnings that you added, but given the nature of his history, and the deep impact of school shootings in the real world, we cannot except that as a history for a character, and so that must be changed. The entire incident, from his friend taking the gun to school to him being shot to the aftermath. That all should be removed.

I would personally choose something far less dramatic for his manifestation, such as what would have been an injury during a sports match (since he was an athlete). Super strength and super durability is a fun power to show manifesting, since so much can be done with it so easily.

If his friend's death has had a profound effect on him as a character concept, I do not say this likely, but I would consider something like a car accident (involving the friend, not Eric as well) instead. Otherwise, I would remove that entire portion and let his friend live.

As a result, the following sections of his application should also be removed or changed to match the changes to his history:
-Mentions of PTSD in his weaknesses section
-His fears section
-His secret

Finally, why did he transfer to Hammel? In 2014, we did a student exchange, but that did not occur in 2015, so he needs another reason for transfer. Otherwise, you could have had him transfer in January 2014 with the student exchange program to have had him here for a year, rather than as a new transplant. If you choose that route, just adjust the dates accordingly and explain why he stayed. Otherwise, please find a reason for him to have come this January.

When you've made these changes, please bump this topic so staff can take another look! If you have any questions, please PM a staff member.

[Akilles Torbin]

Bump. The edits have been made. In Sweden, one can get a tattoo at sixteen years old with consent of one's parents.

[Admin!]

Almost!

Rice, thank you for making the request edits and for the explanation about tattoos in Sweden. Akilles only requires one more edit/adjustment before he can be accepted, since everything else looks great.

You state that he manifests slowly and is not identified until high school. Manifestation doesn't occur slowly, and it's ambiguous as to whether he manifested before he was fourteen and was not found, or if the manifestation happened at fourteen. For the record, he must be found within two weeks of manifesting, and not of demonstrating his powers. Two weeks from the punch is fine, if the punch is first manifesting, at age 14.

If you remove this section: "Eric's powers developed gradually, and subtley. Because Eric did not partake in any blood tests, nor did he perform any impossible feats of strength during puberty, he went unnoticed as a meta-human until he was fourteen and enjoying his first year of high school" and you will be fine.

When you've edited just bump this topic so staff can take another look!

[Akilles Torbin]

Bump!

[Admin!]

Accepted!

Thank you for cooperating with our application process. Don't forget to do your claims here and to have fun!