Quiet For Much Too Long

[Sienna Reid-Estrada]

Days had gone to weeks, which easily had gone to months of silence from the recruiter a bit after their New Years escapades, and Sienna wholeheartedly held her distance for the sake of his sanity, but this had been ridiculous. Distance was one thing, taking a few days to process the thoughts that had been ailing the person was natural, but when days turned to months, that was full out avoidance. 

Sienna may have been a sweet person, giving people time whenever they needed it, but she could also be incredibly pushy and in that moment, as she recalled the few times she had seen him and his exhausted form, she wasn't taking it any longer. People like Milan were the ones to dive into their work to avoid whatever pain they were feeling, and after the New Years party, she was aware that Milan didn't have many people to slap him out of it. Well, that most definitely would change. 

So after she had finished up all of her own work (the load had been pressed onto her at this point, and she was preparing to take over the classes for next school term), she made the detour to his office. Upon arriving, Sienna noted the light underneath the door and knew immediately that he was in there, or had recently been in there. The redhead was well aware of his power, and really, from what she understood he could go anywhere without walking out of his door. 

"Milan, I know you're in there," A knock at the door only furthered the announcement of her presence. Truth of the matter was she wasn't entirely sure he was in there - she was only sure he had been, but she was betting on the fact that he still was. "It's the bad ass redhead with the tattoo from a while ago, remember?" If he didn't come to open the door, she would try for herself and really, the only way he could ignore her would be to stand up and walk away. Sienna was quite sure that he wouldn't do that, no matter how much her presence may irritate him, if it even did. 

There was no overconfidence in her thoughts, but she had been under the impression that they were at least somewhat decent friends and in saying that, it was really hard for her to picture Milan being blatantly rude to anyone, let alone a friend. Maybe that was her misinterpretation, but she was very sure that it was not. 

[Deleted]

To say that Milan stayed off the radar was quite an understatement. Ever since his relationship with Ella had come crashing down, he quite literally lingered in the shadows. Work 'suffered' in the sense that he put the actual recruiting on the side. He hadn't gone out and brought a student to Hammel in months. Technically he had opted for unpaid leave of absense, yet that didn't keep the man from coming to the institute to go through documents and files once more. It kept him busy, but at the same time another option kept poking in the back of his mind: to simply resign for now - if not forever.

It was doubtful a lot of people knew he resided in the office though. The door was always locked, and he never ventured out of it. Only those who needed to know had been informed - mainly Yvette, James Campbell and Sean. The main reasons for staying out of sight was the fact that his face was not as nicely trimmed anymore and his inability to face Ella, even if the chance of coming across her was slim.

That was why it came as a surprise when someone knocked on the door, and a rather familiar voice came from the other side. His gaze drifted over to the wooden obstacle as he lifted his face from his hands, elbows slipping from the desk. No sound was made though; Milan just stared straight ahead for a few second before resuming his previous position - face buried in his hands. It wasn't as if Sienna could get inside... Or so he thought.

Milan didn't bother checking the door anymore, but it was supposed to be locked. Even if someone had been inside, it was normal to lock it again to prevent student from stepping inside unsupervised. Little did he know that it must have slipped someone's mind. If the redhead were to try to get inside, she should be able to do so effortlessly.

[Sienna Reid-Estrada]

It had been quite obvious that Milan was an introvert by nature - as he seemed to take to very few people and buried his nose in his work. She was well aware of his professional base to his personality, a side that she had seen and known, but there was more to the man than just his job. There had to be, really.

That being said, Sienna hadn't been aware of his relationship with a dorm monitor, nor was she aware that it had come to an end, leaving Milan to pick up the pieces of himself. Instead, she was entirely left in the dark, left to wonder what exactly caused such an isolation, or really, any detachment from Sienna. When there was no answer, the redhead opted for trying the door. It worked, much to her surprise, but the man sitting there was not who she expected to be sitting.

Head in his hands with hair that was far too grown out for the normally clean-cut Shadow Traveler, Sienna took a moment to capture her thoughts before a single word slipped from her partly opened lips, "Milan."

Truly, it could be somebody entirely different just at first glance, but Sienna was well aware that it was the man she hadn't spoken to for months. At first she had to wonder why, but now she knew the answers may not be the best thing to demand in that moment. Little time passed before she was stepping towards him and kneeling beside his desk. Her hand, despite the fact that Sienna wanted nothing more than to press it to his arm to know she was there, stayed placed underneath her chin, flat against the desk.

"Milan, look at me," Her voice was soft, a request in her tone rather than a demand, "Please."

There was one thing she knew of Milan from the very few meetings they had made, but that was there had to be someone to pull him from his comfort zone in order for him to open up his eyes to new experiences, and Sienna (for the amount of time he let her in) found she had to do that exact thing. In this case, however, she really needed to.

[Deleted]

Of course there was more to Milan than his job. It just required a motivational factor for him to let that side of his personality seep through. His relationship with Ella had fallen under that category, but at the same time it had also eliminated 'love' as a reason to open up. Now that the recruiter thought about it, it had torn him away from his job. He had taken a step back, working less hours in order to spend more time with Ella, and in the end it hadn't made a difference. She probably couldn't have cared any less about that 'sacrifice'. In his mind, Ella quite possibly might have disliked that decision since it meant he was around more often, giving her less of a chance to hang out with James. He no longer tried to tell himself she genuinely cared about him at one point. Milan had reached the phase where he was convinced he never meant a thing. Why would he? He was just... well, him.

In addition, the man didn't want Sienna to waste any of her precious time of him. He wasn't worth that. It explained his lack of reaction, as well as the somewhat surprised look that appeared on his face the second the redhead managed to step into the office. The expression faded nearly as fast as it had appeared though, settling back into his ignorance mode. This kept his gaze from drifting over to her. Instead blue eyes stared at the document in front of him on the desk, not acting on Sienna's request.

"That door was supposed to be locked..." He mumbled instead while reaching over to his pen for the sake of keeping himself busy again. Something was noted down on the paper. "I'm trying to focus on this, so it will be better if you leave." Technically it was his way of saying that he didn't want nor needed her there. At the same time, despite the small amount of previous encounters, the shadow traveller was convinced that even if he were to word this straightforward, Sienna wouldn't comply.

His gaze only flashed to her for a second, almost hopeful that she would catch the plea in them - no matter how brief. He genuinely felt like it was better to be on his own. "You should get going." Milan eventually added.

[Sienna Reid-Estrada]

From what the redhead could spot, Milan was in anything but a good position in his life, and for what seemed like the fiftieth time (although she could have been entirely wrong) he seemed to cover his face. Even with his head down in his work, she was still aware of the pain he wore like a the crumpled suit jacket that barely fitted his figure. In that moment, she did feel a sense of understanding as to why he held his distance, despite the fact that it hurt more than she even thought it would, and probably more than he had even intended. Friends were the equivalent to family in the young woman's mind, and when somebody broke that tie without even a reason why, it felt like a betrayal. But looking at the situation objectively, he probably suffered something and he turned into what Sienna was looking at then - detached, disheveled, and devastated - and didn't want others to witness that. It was emotionally stimulated logic, and when someone is put into a place where they feel weak, the last thing they want to do is admit it to another person.

Despite his efforts to push her back out of the door that she came into, Sienna stood where she was at. There was little that she understood about his limits, but a half-whispered effort to remove her from the situation told her there was a potential that she could push a tad bit more and hopefully get through to him. She was well aware that her presence was not wanted in that moment, but Sienna also knew that if she didn't try and get through to him now, there probably would never be a next time.

"I should," Sienna nodded, "But I won't."

The redhead clenched a fist momentarily as she reminded herself to hold back from reaching out once again - Sienna was used to contact, whether that be from a hand on the shoulder or a quick nudge, but the touch would probably be more hated than wanted in the moment. That momentary glimpse of his gaze tugged her to stay, even though they so clearly offered a 'please go'. The pain was immediate and prominent, and while she may not have been an empath, she understood. But she also understood that Milan was a dedicated figure, and that dedication would probably register in moping as well as work.

"Leaving will probably be the worst thing I could do right now. Milan, when's the last time you've gotten a full night's sleep?"

[Deleted]

The last thing Milan wanted to do was hurt Sienna. If he knew his current appearance was causing her heart some pain, his self-hatred would expand and he would make sure to step back in the shadows. If he could muster the motivation and energy, he would have done so the second the redhead moved into the office. The recruiter didn't really expect having to put extra effort in getting her to leave. Why would she want to stay there to begin with? Ella didn't even want to. In comparison to his friendship with Sienna, she had received all his love and devotion. Ella had had a reason to stay. Sienna... Well, Sienna didn't. So when the woman stated that she wasn't going to walk out on him, it visibly caught him by surprise - to the extent that he grew a bit skeptical and couldn't believe the statement.

"Why? Why would it be the worst thing?" The recruiter couldn't grasp her decision. Perhaps if she were to enlighten him for the reason behind her refusal to leave. As for the question asked... Well, it was only fair for him to answer it. Despite his current emotional state, Milan's manners remained. "And I don't know," he replied with a shrug of the shoulders. "Six or seven years ago?" It being the moment he became a recruiter. Despite his honesty, the man knew this wasn't what Sienna had been getting at. If he were to provide a more straightforward answer, however, she might start digging deeper and unravel the underlying problem.

Her hunching this close was already making the man tense. It made him shove the seat backward and to get up, stepping to the other side of the desk while both hands rubbed at his face. They paused at his mouth, squeezing lips together for a second as if in prayer. Then arms folded against his upper body. "I'm pretty sure you didn't come here for me though, so I'm not going to keep you from your work any longer." Part of him considered walking to the door and opening it up, but instead a hand simply gestured at it. It felt rude to go with the other option after all.

Perhaps he partially hoped she intentionally did come here for all, but, again, why would she?

[Sienna Reid-Estrada]

Sienna, for the life of her, could not begin to grasp the reasons behind the sudden change in demeanor and appearance; the disappearance brought with it a lot of confusion in itself,so this only seemed to top the cake. That being said, it wasn't Sienna's place to make him tell her exactly what happened, but it was her place, as his friend, to try and comfort him in some way or another.

A long breath was taken after he responded to her statements with questions and half-assed answers, but it took a lot more for the redhead to be deterred from a situation. Maybe that could be to her detriment, but she wasn't ready to be shooed out of the room by someone who clearly needed someone there for him.

"Because, Milan, if I leave now, you're going to go back to falling into the self-hatred for whatever the reason is behind it. Plus, you haven't made an attempt to talk to me for months, and if I leave, I don't want this to be the last conversation we have."

So yes, that could be the lightest of the worst outcomes, and while his nonchalance about the sleeping situation did little to lighten the mood, which he probably expected. There had never been anyone that had tried so hard to push her away. Maybe that was because if somebody didn't want to be a part of her life, she usually didn't allow them to be. However, she knew, if only briefly, the Milan that was underneath everything that she was seeing, and didn't want to see that man go away for any reason. So instead, she chose not to respond to the obviously sarcastic remark. It was better that way.

It was then that Milan pushed back, which threw Sienna off guard and nearly had her fall. The redhead was able to push herself up again after the light stumble, but it was clear the intentions behind it. His hand gestured towards the door, but Sienna shook her head. "I'm not going to sit here and let you do this to yourself, Milan. Why else would I come to your office, knock on your door and ask for you, then come in here and try anything and everything I can to try and understand why you are feeling the way you are. God dammit, of course I came here for you!"

[Deleted]

Milan was growing frustrated. In his mind, it was impossible that the redhead came here for him. It explained why he started to try and find ways to break down those words. At the same time, however, the shield he had put up was starting to crumble some. His vulnerable and sad side were beginning to show through. "Women are curious. They often don't really care what's going on; they mainly want to find out about details." The recruiter sounded bitter at that point, and normally it would have been very unlike him to generalize like that. What he was getting at was that Sienna most probably was fishing for information.

Tired eyes finally did settle on the redhead though. He hoped to spot the possibility of her leaving. However, it seemed to be to no avail and a sigh slipped past his lips. The hand fell down before Milan moved over to the window overlooking the campus. Arms folded against the man's chest again and lip squinted together in a thoughtful manner. "It doesn't matter though. It never did. I don't want to talk about it." The tone wasn't an aggresive one. It actually sounded rather pleading, wishing she wouldn't try and push him to spill what was bothering him.

"And I am sorry for not having kept in contact. Other things were on my mind and work has been busy." Not really, given the recruiter had cut back on his hours in order to have more time to spend with Ella. He had been endlessly devoted an dedicated, and one way or another this had backfired. The man truly couldn't grasp what he had done wrong, and so he ended up assuming it must have been fake from the beginning. It was doubtful Sienna knew this though.

Blue eyes stared straight ahead at nothing in particular. No one with a life was at campus - at least not as long as he had been. Sienna was just there for a second. Surely she had people to hang out with. "I'll try to invest more." Into whatever it was between them. Milan didn't dare to make assumptions anymore; he didn't dare to label someone as important. That was when they bailed on you.

Would that satisfy her enough? To make her accept the situation at hand and to leave? Doubtful, but worth the attempt.

[Sienna Reid-Estrada]

Just as Milan was growing frustrated, Sienna was doing the same, however for entirely different reasons as the disheveled recruiter. The redhead could not even believe what was coming out of his mouth; how could such a polite and genuine man turn into what she was witnessing in that moment? He was a stranger, and it irritated her because she knew for a fact he wasn’t this person, and instead putting up this front so he could continue to brood with no interference.

“So you’ve become into a misogynistic cynic now?”

The words came out unintentionally, but once they came out, she stood firmly by them. Milan needed to hear it, and even if he didn’t register it as something he wanted to hear, it didn’t change that was how he was acting. What came next had her place her hands in her pocket, quietly clenching her fists.

The redhead wasn’t quick to anger, but as a woman who only wanted to help the person in front of her, and be insulted for just that, well, it hurt.

“When did I ever ask you what was wrong? When did I ever try to pry information out of you? Not once. Milan, I don’t know what happened to you, but you need to snap out of it. You’re acting like a dick, and for what? I’m not here to ruin your life, and I’m definitely not here to watch you suffer. Why is it so damn hard to believe that I’d be here to make sure you’re okay?”

“It’s been months, and I can understand busy. What I can’t understand is how you expect me to believe that there is nothing wrong when you look like you’re dying inside.”