Your First Time (Jackson)

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Rue blinked in surprise at Jackson’s sudden swear. He didn’t respond, but he did dip his head a little, deciding not to argue. He supposed it was less the age difference that bothered him, and more the fact that… that… he felt like he’d wooed Jackson unfairly through his connection with Hammel. It was true that Jackson could make his own decisions, though… “You’re right,” he said softly. “You’re old enough to be with an old pervert if that’s what you want…” Rue frowned when Jackson pulled away from him. “I never said that,” he replied quickly. “Of course I want to. You know I do.” It was just different now because Rue knew that Jackson’s parent didn’t want him to do exactly what they both wanted to. It just made him feel weird. It wouldn’t necessarily stop him in the long run, though….

Rue took a glance at Jackson’s aura. It was definitely a giveaway, but he wasn’t about to get after the boy for pretending to be okay. That’s just how some people coped. “Uh….” Rue blushed again, and gave a nervous smile. “Probably not,” he admitted sheepishly. But there were likely other things Jackson could do to get that, too. Rue really didn’t have as much control in that department as he did in others. “Sure,” he agreed with a smile. “I’ve… Never been to an arcade before. You’ll have to show me how it works.” He snorted at those puppy eyes and ruffled Jackson’s hair. “Puppy.”

Rue was about to warn the boy again, but it was too late. It was fortunate that Jackson had good reflexes. “I told you,” he chuckled, batting the bad kitty off the couch. “Go on, go pick on someone your own size,” he chided the mischievous creature. He smiled into the kiss and gazed after the boy with a nod, and went to grab a coat from his hanger and get his wallet. When Jackson came back out, Rue motioned to the door. “If you can give me the directions to where you want to go, that would be great,” he said as they walked out. “I don’t know if I remember where an arcade is.” Like earlier, he waited until Jackson got into the car before taking off downtown. Assuming the blonde gave him the right directions, Rue found a place to park nearby and squinted up at the sign. “What kind of pizza do you want to get?” he asked, walking beside the younger boy with a public awareness sort of space between them. Rue wasn’t sure how they would look at an arcade together, but he didn’t mind… Too much.

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Jackson didn't feel the same, that Rue had wooed him unfairly like the older man thought. While it was true that they both had a connection through Hammel, the two of them had met and became interested in one another before they even realize their shared associated with the meta school. What part of that was unfair? Besides, it was at Jackson said – the boy was 16 years old. Legally, he was old enough to make this decision himself. That Rue was being such a girl about it, that he was hesitating so much, made Jackson feel surprisingly inadequate, and he couldn’t quite place why. "Sorry" he mumbled. "I know you do, I'm just… I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking it." His moods weren't all that stable right now either, so maybe that had something to do with this strange anxiety he was feeling.

At least there was pizza and a good time to look forward to, so he didn't have to dwell on such things when he had nothing better to do. That Rue was willing to take him out made him feel more like a kid than before, but considering the events of today, Jackson felt he deserved to be a little bit spoiled. When he was feeling better, Jackson would apologize to Rue for his unreasonable behavior, though knowing he older man, he probably didn’t mind it at all. At least, Jackson hoped he didn’t. Jackson smirked up at him. "I'll have to try that next time you start getting cold feet." Then Jackson giggled, amused(and somewhat surprised) by Rue's admission. "I'm gonna have to teach you then. They're fun. We used to go to them all the time back home, me and my friends." He really missed those guys. Jackson wondered what they were doing now? If they even remembered the telekinetic? The boy giggled again, grinning like a silly kid at the hair ruffle.

Whatever, it was better to not worry about any of that shit. Jackson stumbled off to the bedroom and dressed himself quickly. Compared to this morning, even his legs were feeling a lot better, though they were still a little sore. Jackson chose to ignore it. He hadn’t brought many clothes back from home, so the boy simply put on the pants he was wearing before and one of the few shirts he had, then stepped back out into the main room, socks and shoes in hand. Once those were on, he followed Rue’s direction out to the car. “Um….there’s a couple of places in town. Not many though.” Jackson had spent a while of his first few weeks in Pilot Ridge looking for them. Honestly, they weren’t hard to find, the town was only so big. He gave Rue directions as they drove, pointing this way and that when they reached the corners and traffic lights, and before they knew it, they were pulled up in front of the arcade that Jackson had deemed to be the best in town. “Anything works really, just no olives.” He paused a moment, remembering the last time he had pizza. “You don’t have anything against anchovies, do you?” he asked, looking up at the man as they walked inside. Jackson was only a little bit bothered by the distance Rue was keeping between them…again, he didn’t know why. Jackson was always the one who didn’t like to show off that sort of stuff in public. The boy pulled out a five dollar bill. “I’m gonna go get tokens. You get the pizza. Sound fair?” He smiled brightly, like a kid in a…well, like a kid in an arcade.

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Rue wasn’t trying to make Jackson feel bad at all. He himself just felt bad now, like he’d tricked Jackson into having pity sex with him or something, after he’d come over to try to make Rue feel better. Was that really what it took to get him to perk up? “Mm…. Maybe you are,” he agreed softly. He leaned in and took Jackson’s face in his hands, giving him a long, lingering kiss, to hopefully dispel any anxiety he was feeling. “…. Just promise you won’t tell your dad if we do,” he finally caved. More like when they did…

Rue didn’t mind at all. It would probably help make him feel better too, because despite him being calm and comforting to the younger boy, he still wasn’t completely alright either. He was glad that Jackson couldn’t see his aura. However, being helpful, being needed, helped Rue feel a bit less depressed. His cheeks flushed again at Jackson’s teasing. “We’ll see about that…” he mumbled, embarrassed. Was it pathetic that he would probably break so easily? “I’m sure they are. Just don’t laugh at me when I lose to you in every game,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. He was going to make himself look like a fool in public, wasn’t he?

Rue did keep an eye out to make sure Jackson was walking okay, but he seemed fine, so the older man didn’t say anything. He was young, he probably bounced back quickly. Rue tried not to think about the implications of that fact. The arcade was easy to find – he had driven by it many times before, but never really paid attention to it. He wondered vaguely if Finn ever came to these places. “No olives, got it,” he took note. Rue made a little bit of a face at the mention of anchovies, though. “How about I get half with anchovies, half without?” he suggested with a chuckle. He walked inside and winced a little at the sudden burst of sound; he hardly heard Jackson over the noise. “Sure, sounds good,” he agreed, heading over to the food portion of the place. He ordered a Hawaiian pizza with anchovies on one side, then paid and went to sit nearby as he waited for it to be ready. There was so much movement and various sounds inside, he was a little overwhelmed; not to mention, there were tons of happy yellow auras adding to the mix. Rue closed his eyes, concentrating on shutting the auras out of his vision. He didn’t try to hide them unless he was in a situation like this, when it became too much for him to handle. When he opened them again, they were faded and almost gone. Good enough. He looked around for Jackson, unsure of where the younger boy had gone.

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Jackson opened his mouth to the kiss, closing his eyes and letting his worried mind go blank. Yeah…they were fine. Jackson didn’t have to be worried, he was just thinking too much, definitely. “I won’t,” he said, blinking up at Rue with an adoring smile. Jackson already couldn’t wait for that ‘next time’, whenever it would be. He didn’t know how long they were supposed to let him ‘recover’, though. Jackson would have to ask Rue about that sometime. Not now, though, they had plans to go out and have fun.

“I’m sure you won’t be that bad,” Jackson tried to encourage the older man. “Besides, they’re just video games, it’s not like they’re important or anything.” If you died in a video game, usually you just put in another token, pressed start, and your character rematerialized….too bad real life wasn’t like that.

Depressing thoughts. Jackson shook his head, trying to turn away from them.

Jackson figured he was less bothered by the noise than Rue was, no doubt, but the boy didn’t even consider how troublesome the large crowd of people might be for the aura reader’s eyes. He may have been a bit more contentious about his request had he realized it, but consideration wasn’t very high on Jackson’s list of capabilities right now, and understandably so. Jackson had even forgotten that Rue was just getting over his down spell of depression as well. He pouted slightly. “I don’t get why people don’t like them. They’re just a little salty. And bony.” Otherwise, they were good! Whatever, people were missing out, let them, Jackson had more important thing to think about. He shuffled off to the arcade section of the establishment and waited in line behind a group of kids who were trying to compile their cash to get as many tokens as possible. They weren’t even using the darn thing! Jackson made an annoyed face and may have flung a few unkind words in their direction that made them two of them flinch and one glare right back. At least they moved. Jackson got the tokens and headed back to where he assumed Rue would be. But the damage was done and he came back with a tiny scowl on his face. At least he got the tokens and he started dividing them up into two piles as soon as he sat down across from Rue. “Have an idea of what you wanna try first?” he asked, not looking up from his work.

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That was better. There was that smile that Rue loved seeing. He grinned back at the younger boy, relieved that he wasn’t upset with him. “Good,” he chuckled. He bit his lip, looking down at Jackson’s mouth for another moment, but eventually pulled away. They had things to do, after all; things that required getting off the couch and away from each other’s lips.

Rue snorted. “You’ve never seen me play video games before,” he retorted. He was pathetically bad at them. They just didn’t make sense to him, and he had a hard time following along with quick movements. If they played any first-person shooters, he was going to be completely lost. “But you’re right. As long as you’re having fun, I’ll enjoy myself,” Rue added honestly with a smile.

He would be okay as long as he managed to keep the auras out of his vision for the most part. The bright, illuminating colors were just too much when there were too many moving in a room, but Rue wouldn’t complain. “I don’t hate them, I just…. Don’t love them,” he replied with a chuckle. He liked pure Hawaiian pizza. By the time that Jackson returned, the pizza was just being delivered to him, and Rue pondered the question. “How about we eat first?” he suggested, putting one of the pieces with anchovies on them on a plate for Jackson to eat before serving one for himself. He glanced up and noticed the small scowl on the blonde’s face, and frowned. “Are you alright?” he asked, tentatively sliding his hand across the table to touch Jackson’s arm. Assuming he was, Rue took a bite of his pizza, humming appreciatively. “This is pretty good,” he commented. “How is it with the anchovies?” Maybe he could at least try a bite…

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Jackson had a hard time believing that anyone could suck that bad at video games. Even if he was just a button masher, statistically he was capable of winning at something that way. For shooter-games, he’d have to literally be shooting behind him to not hit anything even by accident. Jackson was certain that Rue was just exaggerating. Guess he’d see once they got started.

“Have you even tried them?” Jackson challenged the older man. Jackson had found that most people who say they ‘didn’t like’ something were simply being picky and hadn’t even given the food the fair chance of trying it before saying they disliked it. Jackson did the same thing himself sometimes, so he knew it was a thing. Jackson liked Hawaiian pizza too though, so if Rue just wanted to get that, the boy would’ve been fine with it. He was at least grateful that Rue gave him half the pizza for his ‘gross’ topping. A lot of people didn’t like having it on the same pizza either. Cross-contamination and all that, guess they’d accidentally bitten into a slice and found a salty surprise at some point.

When Jackson returned to the table with the tokens, he was starting to wonder if this had been a good idea. There were a lot of annoying people around, lots of kids that he wanted to punt out of his way, and the noise level was starting to become bothersome as well. But…games. And pizza. And distractions. He needed these, even if all they did was give him something else to distress over. Yes, Jackson loved his grandmother and would always remember her as fondly as he could…but he just didn’t want to think about how she wasn’t going to be a part of the telekinetic’s life anymore. He didn’t want to think about what he was supposed to do now, or what he’ll have to do soon. Puntable kids was still more attractive than the daunting future he had to look forward to over the next several weeks. Jackson shook his head. “I’m okay, just…” He didn’t want to finish that thought. “People,” he finished with instead. The boy lifted his eyes to look at Rue when he touched his arm and smiled softly. “Thanks…” He wasn’t sure what for, though, but he still felt like he needed to say it. Jackson grabbed a slice of pizza once he was done messing with the tokens and took a large, healthy bite. Mmmmm…. “Delicious,” he said, his cheeks stuffed full of cheesy, tomato-y, Hawaiian salty goodness. “Did we get drinks?” he asked, looking around the table as if he’d somehow not seen them.

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“Uh… I think I have. Once, maybe.” Rue tried to recall. It was probably a long time ago if he had, so Jackson was right, it was more an ‘ew’ factor than an actual dislike. He gave a guilty smile. “Salty things aren’t my favorite,” he explained. “But maybe I’ll have to give them a shot.” If only to please the younger man. That was Rue’s goal tonight – try to make Jackson as happy and content as was possible. He knew that would be a tough order, considering everything, but he could at least try. There were always things they could do once they got back to his apartment as well.

He allowed himself to get a glimpse of Jackson’s aura again. The puppy was still grey for the most part, but there were a few speckles of other colors in it – one of which wasn’t all that good, either. A clear or light blue was usually a good sign, but the dark, gloomy slate-blue color that edged the aura gave indication of the boy’s irritation. Rue was tempted to ask what exactly was wrong, but he didn’t want to pry too much and potentially make things worse. He smiled sympathetically at the brief explanation. “People can be difficult to deal with,” he agreed softly (or at least, as softly as could be heard over the noise). He wanted to show more affection for the telekinetic, but he didn’t think that would be wise in such a crowded place. He smiled a little at the thanks, before he went back to eating. “Ah… aigoo, I totally forgot,” Rue admitted with an embarrassed chuckle. “What would you like?” When Jackson told him, he went back and got a cup of water for himself and one of whatever Jackson wanted, before returning and plopping down as he slid the drink over. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “… Can I try a bite?” If the blonde offered his piece over, Rue would take a tentative bite and chew thoughtfully before making a bit of a face. “… It’s pretty salty,” he commented after swallowing. “I think I have too much of a sweet tooth for that.” He chuckled and looked up at Jackson, which became a rather long, affectionate stare without him realizing it as he kept eating his own piece.

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Jackson enjoyed salty, sweet, savory…he enjoyed all the flavors, really, though it was true he had a terrible preference for sweet. Sugar. How terrible was that? The thing he enjoyed the most was the thing he couldn’t have the most. And yet he still did anyway, despite the consequences. Jackson’s willpower was about as weak as his favorite dirty old man’s.

Yes, he did wonder if there was going to be a repeat of last night in the near future. Maybe tonight? Did Jackson even feel up for it? He wasn’t sure. But there was the thing with his dad too, even though Jackson had already decided it was none of his business. Why couldn’t life be simple and uncomplicated?

Not asking further about the source of Jackson’s irritation was probably a good move on Rue’s part. Jackson was simply….not feeling himself at the moment. Emotional. Unstable. He could feel it himself and he by all that was Hell and Holy to just wanted to forget that thorn was there and that it would sting the moment someone brushed against it. He just wanted to finish this day with a memory that didn’t suck. Was that too much to ask? “Yeah…” he mumbled quietly, though Rue probably couldn’t hear him.

Jackson pulled his lips into a half-smile. “You ditz,” he said, teasing the older man. “Mmm…anything diet,” he replied with a shrug. Jackson had to be responsible at least with that, he supposed. The smile faded the moment Rue left and the boy went to finish his first slice, grabbing a second one by the time Rue returned with the drink. “Thanks,” he said, bringing back his weakened smile, chuckling at Rue’s next request. “If you want to~” Jackson offered his piece, watching to see Rue’s reaction to the taste. He laughed at seeing the man’s face scrunch up. “It okay, you don’t have to like it.” Jackson turned his focus back onto the pizza. It took a few moments of silence for Jackson to think there was something weird and he lifted his gaze to be met with an intense stare from the aura-reader. It made him self-conscious, about as much as he’d been last night when those same eyes were tracing over his unclothed form. Jackson’s cheeks flared a burning red and he flicked his eyes away, then back to Rue, a tiny smile appearing on his lips. “Hi,” he said simply.

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Rue had willpower! Sometimes…. For certain things…. Hmf, it wasn’t his fault that Jackson drove him as crazy as he did. Rue had no explanation or excuse for that.

He wasn’t going to ask for anything more tonight. Not after what had happened today, or the fact that they had already done it last night and Rue didn’t really want to make Jackson any more sore. But if Jackson asked, and pushed just a little, the older man would probably cave in pretty easily. They would have to see what happened.

Hopefully he would at least be able to get a little good color in Jackson’s aura. Preferably pink, but yellow or green would be really great, too. Rue just smiled sympathetically over at him. If Jackson didn’t want to elaborate, he wouldn’t ask.

He pouted a little at the tease. “I’m sorry,” Rue mumbled, playing along. “Alright, got it.” He ended up getting Jackson a diet coke, because that’s what kids liked these days, right? Rue wasn’t much of a soda drinker, he preferred water, tea, and boba. It was easy for him to tell that Jackson’s smile was somewhat strained, and Rue hoped to fix that. “No problem,” he replied, offering a smile of his own. It was gone after he took the bite though, and replaced with a grimace at the salt. “Okay, good, because I don’t think I do,” he chuckled weakly. “I guess that just means more for you.” Rue finished the piece he was working on, and began starting on another, by the time Jackson seemed to become aware of his staring. Rue didn’t look away when their eyes met, but his lips pulled back into a small grin, and he breathed out another chuckle at ‘greeting’. “Hey,” he replied back, finishing his second piece and casually scooting his chair around the table a little to sit beside the blonde boy. “Are you almost done? I can get the rest boxed up to go if you want to go play now.” He kept up the intense stare even as he got closer, which was mostly unintentional. Memories of the night before were coming back to his mind, too, but Rue had to resist not doing what he wanted to do right now, in public. He eventually cleared his throat and looked away to fold up the box once they were both done eating. Rue figured he could ask the people behind the counter to hold it for them while they went to the arcade. “How about you lead the way, because I am completely lost on what to do first,” Rue declared, standing.

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Anything would do. Anything to make him forget he was grieving. Jackson was trying to deal with his feeling in a positive, constructive way, rather than going out and vandalizing some children’s playground like he’d done last time he felt this bad….but it wasn’t working was well as he’d hoped. This was a lot worse than last time, and it was a tall order asking the telekinetic to be anything other than emotionally strained.

He thought he’d been feeling better, back when he came up with this plan, but he was quickly wearing down. Did he even have the will to go out and play games anymore?

Jackson grabbed the diet coke and washed down the salty, cheesy, tomato-y taste of his pizza, enjoying the cold feeling of that carbonated beverage streaming down his throat. Mmm yes. “Guess so,” he replied, nomming his second slice. Yup, pizza was good. Soda was good. Games were good. He was good, yup. And Rue…

Rue was more than good. For a moment, as they stared into each other’s eyes, again Jackson’s mind went blank under that gaze. A rush of things flooded his mind, most involving scenarios of the older man taking him right here and now in various ways. “Okay,” he said with a slightly more relaxed, silly smile. “I, uh…” What was he asking? Jackson looked down at his pizza slice. “I think I’m done, actually,” he said, turning up his gaze back to Rue. Jackson kept his eyes on the aura-reader the whole while as he packed up the food, and even still as they rose from the table. “Um…okay,” he murmured quietly, a small smile on his lips. Jackson finally panned his eyes out to the arcade, searching for something good to start them with. “You ever play Area 51?” he asked, guiding Rue over to the game area. It was a classic. Cheap as hell graphics, but Jackson enjoyed it. The boy put the tokens into the game once they got there and handed Rue his gun. “Just point and shoot, easy, right?” Jackson turned to the screen and pointed his gun at it. “Bang bang bang!” he exclaimed in a childlike voice. Yeah, he’d been listening to way too much kpop lately….

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Rue would do his best to make sure Jackson didn’t go down a destructive path because of what had happened. It was good for the aura reader, really, to have someone to take care of – it helped him keep his mind off of his own issues, and would keep him from going back into that depressive slump. He hated that Jackson had to deal with this, but was relieved for something to keep himself sane.

It was terrible it had to come to this, though… Rue still didn’t know where the boy would end up, and that worried him, but he figured it was best to take it one step at a time. And the current step was having fun and trying to forget about their problems.

No…. Stop thinking about those things in public! Rue’s cheeks felt hot as he tried to contain the sudden welling of emotions and need. He just needed to last a couple of hours at the most, and then they could be back in the privacy of his apartment. Rue nodded when Jackson said he was done, and did finally look away, despite Jackson’s gaze. He did feel it again, though, when he stood, and the aura reader looked back at the blonde, making his heart skip a beat. “… What are you staring at?” he teased gently, daring to lean in slightly and give Jackson a gentle touch on the arm. Hopefully no one would notice. Rue shook his head at the question, following the younger boy over to the machine. “Is it about aliens?” he guessed. This was going to go poorly, he could just feel it. Rue stepped up to the machine and let Jackson put in the tokens, and gingerly took the gun in his hands. He hated violence, but… This was harmless, he supposed. “Easy, yeah,” he said with a snort. “You’re a dork.” When the screen came on, Rue started shooting, having no idea what he was doing or what he was supposed to be shooting. He’d likely end up shooting more wrong things than right things, and lost pretty quickly. “I told you I’m terrible,” he sighed, looking over to Jackson, who was probably still doing fine. “Can I just be a cheerleader instead?” Rue glanced around the area, determining the coast was pretty clear, before leaning in and pecking the boy quickly on the cheek. “There’s more where that came from if you do well~” he teased quietly.