Elementary

[Joshua Bernstein]

October was always one of the most hotly anticipated months in the Neville-Bernstein household. After all, it contained three of their very favorite things in the whole world:

Candy, costumes, and parties.

The weather wasn't yet so cold as to require winter coats, but it had cooled off considerably such that the typical East Coast humidity was less of a problem than during the summer.

And so in the second weekend of October, after Josh had returned from services and during their Saturday supper, the attorney had asked, "Do you know what you would like to be for Halloween?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean adored autumn. It was his favorite season and had been for decades, for a multitude of reasons. He enjoyed the cooler weather, where it was pleasant outside without suffocating humidity, and where he could still sail before winter brought the quick and devastating Vermont snow for months at a time. If he didn’t work at Hammel, summer might give autumn a run for its money, but since Hammel was a year-round school, it wasn’t as though he received two to three months off during the summer; he worked during the hottest months.

Additionally, autumn brought Halloween, the telepath’s favorite holiday precisely because it was secular and fun and because children enjoyed it. While Sean didn’t care for the horror aspects, he enjoyed sweets and costumes, and he made a point to remain home on Halloween evening and night so that he could personally greet the trick-or-treaters.

It mattered to him, even as some of the neighborhood children grew up, and if others might not care whether he was there or whether he left a bowl outside for them to serve themselves.

Autumn also brought pumpkin and apple flavors to nearly every food and drink imaginable, and some of his favorite seasonal treats reappeared in stores. Sean always adjusted their home menus accordingly to take advantage.

Seated across from Josh, he had given them both hot apple cider as their chaser beverage with supper. He set down his fork beside his mashed sweet potatoes and became thoughtful for a moment. “I haven’t worked it out yet, since we still have about a month, but we should probably discuss it, shouldn’t we?”

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh nodded as he sipped his cider. "We should."

He had already given this question some thought but come to no conclusion; even if he had thought of an idea he would need to run it by Sean.


"I looked at some blogs for ideas," he began, setting down his mug and reaching for his napkin. "But I'm afraid all the couples ideas are for young men."

There had been a number of costumes that showed more skin than he was willing to show in public - he wouldn't mind wearing them for intimate role play but not to hand out candy to children. "All those superheroes our nephews enjoy."

He was only possibly familiar with current pop culture; dressing up as Thor or Mario held no appeal to him.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean rolled his eyes, a gesture he only did with friends, never with coworkers or the students. “I’ve seen some of those lists; they’re atrocious.”

Reputation amongst some of the students as non-threateningly asexual aside, the telepath didn’t qualify as a prude by any working definition of the word. He had great respect for consensual and safer explorations of human sexuality, more knowledge than the average person (if his annual Talk and his telepathy provided credentials), and an exceptionally healthy libido for a man his age. Despite all of that, he found many of the suggestions he came across on lists repellant. Despite having been alive since 1957 and remembering Halloween as far back as 1960 or 1961, he couldn’t put his finger on when, exactly, the holiday had become the hyper-sexualized, hyper-commercialized, festival it had become in some quarters.

“It’s 2015 and one of those lists suggested a pitcher and a catcher.” He shook his head. He had no desire to go into why that was offensive and disgusting. “And, of course, there are those plug and socket costumes.” Bad enough that they marketed those towards straight couples.

However, mention of superheroes and their nephews brought a quick change of mood, and a small smile touched his lips. “Speaking of superheroes, did I tell you that Ryan convinced Shiya to go as Ms. Marvel this year? Apparently, she’s Muslim now, and he’s more excited than she is about it.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh made a retching noise in his throat. "Pitcher and catcher!" He stabbed at his sweet potatoes with unnecessary vehemence.

There were some ideas he would like to cease; the concept of pitcher and catcher in the gay community was one of them.

However Sean's next remark brought a smile to his fave as well. "Is she?"

He had a brief flash of regret that he'd not kept up with Sanjay; he wondered what his ex thought of this new development, or if he even knew.

"that is exciting. It doesn't solve what we'll be, though. I'm afraid my superhero days are behind me."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean also had no love for the stereotypes about men involved with other man, beginning with the idea that a person’s role in the bedroom was static and was influenced by – or subsequently influenced – his personality traits and ending with the idea that the sum total of men’s relationships with one another was defined by sex and only by sex. The telepath had had far more relationships than Josh had, with roughly the same number of men and the rest were women; none of his relationships had been just sex, not even the stint with Danny. More than that, his relationship with Josh had always been the most meaningful, sex aside.

“Apparently. I think Ryan bought half a dozen copies of the first issue, so he’ll probably show it at his next visit.” Sean loved his nephew, but Ryan’s enthusiasm for his hobbies occasionally crossed over into projection.

Then again, so did Josh’s, and thus the telepath was used to it.

The attorney’s other remark caused Sean to go silent for more than an offhand comment strictly warranted, but the telepath recovered himself. “So are mine.”

He reached for his glass and then mused idly, “I suppose that Stephen and Slim wouldn’t be strictly appropriate.” They had created those alter egos for Valentine’s Day, after all, rather than Halloween.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh raised his eyebrows at Sean's suggestion.

"Not appropriate? I don't know what would make you say such a thing."

He would have to tone down the terrible innuendos in the presence of children if he were to dress as Slim, so there was that.

"I think Slim would be thrilled if Stephen had a teaching engagement in Vermont again," He offered before shoveling a pile of mashed sweet potatoes onto his fork and from there into his mouth.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean mimicked Josh’s expression, which he did from time to time when teasing, or when expecting someone else to reach his conclusion themselves without further prompting. Here, it was a combination of the two.

The fact that they would have to tone down their banter and sexual innuendos were a good indication that their Valentine’s Day alter egos weren’t the best fit for a holiday that, by necessity, involved hanging around the house and interacting with children who ranged in age between small babies and toddlers with their parents to teenagers out on their last hurrah. And which, by choice and the telepath’s work expectations, involved chaperoning rowdy teenagers at a dance.

But his partner’s enthusiasm was difficult not to indulge, at least in small doses.

“Stephen did save Slim’s number in his phone with a smiley face,” he replied thoughtfully, as he took a bite of his potatoes. That wasn’t strictly true, since Sean already had Josh’s number in his phone prior to that game, and he didn’t use smiley faces for his contacts, or at all. Still, banter was banter.

That didn’t make their alter egos the best choice regardless. Neither was recognizable and, hair dye aside, Sean’s alter ego didn’t have much of a costume. “We could always let them meet up on a different night from Halloween, if Stephen can come back to town.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Oh did he?" Josh grinned as he reached across his plate for his cider. "Then Slim hopes he calls next time he's in town. He's been lonely in the months since Stephen went home."

He took a swig of his drink and shook his head. "But I suppose we still haven't solved the mystery of what we're going to be....for....that's it! Solving mysteries! We can be Holmes and Watson."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded in confirmation and had another bite of his food. “He did. I’m surprised Slim didn’t notice how much Stephen enjoyed himself. And the chocolate was a nice touch; you go far with chocolate, you know.” Which was a truth shared by the telepath and his romantic alter ego. The telepath enjoyed all baked goods and desserts, but he’d always had a particular fondness for chocolate.

All thoughts about a possible outing with their alter egos prior to the next Valentine’s Day were redirected by his partner’s eureka! moment.

“Holmes and Watson,” Sean repeated, as he mused on that. They were two grown men who counted as a duo, although not romantically – not that this was a problem, since most of their themed costumes were not linked romantically – each of whom had their own sense of dignity such that neither of them had to worry about debasing himself. They were easily recognizable by others, they would be relatively easy to put together, and it would be an excuse for them to dress as though they lived in the Victorian Era.

Yes, that would do nicely.

He smiled at his partner. “That’s a wonderful idea. Do you care who goes as who?”

[Joshua Bernstein]

josh shook his head in answer before taking another drink.

"I get to look at you in a suit either way," he explained. Usually if he had a preference it was entirely based on wanting to admire Sean wearing (or not) something in particular.

"And it will be appropriate for chaperoning the school dance."

Stephen and Slim would have no in character reason to be at a school dance.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean mulled that over. Not the implication that Josh’s preferences often came more from wanting to see the telepath in a particular outfit rather than from a deep-rooted desire for him to have a certain role; Sean knew that and had known that for years. Rather, it was the fact that the attorney had no particular preference in this situation.

Typically, Sean went along with Josh’s preferences when they were splitting up roles or costumes, because he enjoyed making the other man happy, and he, typically, wasn’t wedded to one over the other either. But, for this Halloween, the choice was entirely his.

After a moment’s deliberation, during which he ate three bites of food and had two sips of cider, he replied, “I think I’ll go as Holmes. I’m already a doctor, so I’ll do something novel.” Watson was also gifted intellectually and had far better social graces than Holmes, which made either role fun. But he could exaggerate his stoicism, and this would allow Josh to remain sociable for their chaperoning, or any other Halloween activities of which they partook.

“And you’re right, of course.” That thought had crossed his mind as well. Stephen and Slim wouldn’t be nearly as fun if they had to remain on their best behavior, and trying to break up a fight between Oriel and who knew who else wouldn’t make for good thematic banter anyway.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of the spiked punch," Josh quipped with a grin. "I think that's a mystery well within our capabilities."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean sighed and rolled his eyes, not at his partner but at the thought of having to solve a mystery of spiked punch. “Don’t even joke about it,” he muttered. Spiking punch wasn’t the type of prank like, for instance, breaking the dress code, where it only affected one student and they were immediately sent back to their dorm room to change into something more appropriate. Spiking the punch meant that the dance came to an immediate end.

It meant room checks by Vincent and the security team, and possibly by James Campbell since his super-enhanced senses meant that nobody could sneak anything with even the faintest aroma by him. It meant Sean would have to ask every student individually what they had seen, using his telepathy to tease out the truth. And, it meant, that if anyone had been given alcohol against his or her will, then the administration would have to notify parents.

With Yvette as Headmistress, rather than Claude who was more lenient with the students, it also meant that Sean’s Council might lose its privileges to even host dances, which, in turn, meant that Valentine’s Day for the vast majority of the student body would be ruined for the actions of one or two people, in addition to ruining Halloween.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh sobered at Sean's response. "I'm sorry. Perhaps we'll have a better mystery to solve this year."

Preferably not one that involved any illicit relationships or students with substances they weren't legally allowed.

"The mystery of a missing costume piece. Much less dramatic and much better for the students."

In his experience teenagers attracted drama, but then, to be fair, he'd had more than his share of drama as a grown man. Possibly more as a grown man than he'd had as a teen despite the pot smoking and the protests and the occasional skipped class.