Just Remember(Estelle)

[Ingrid Barnes]

Ingrid glanced up at the clock, walking around her classroom and tidying up. Straightening papers, picking up books, and gathering small items students left during the day and would come rushing back tomorrow to find. These moments, right after her last class and just before she started her paperwork, were the ones Ingrid found peaceful. Call her sentimental, but she enjoyed being able to look back on the day in silence and just soak up the feelings that were left. No matter what had happened -good or bad- she wanted to make sure it was imprinted in her memory, which she was annoyed to find was starting to fail her these days. She thoroughly enjoyed all things that came with being a teacher; watching students thrive and grow, seeing that aha! moment on their faces, and getting the chance to be a part of their lives, even if only for a moment in time. Which reminded her of what she was still here for today.

Estelle, one of Ingrid's best students, had wanted to meet her today. So, instead of rushing off to bother speak with Dimitri or Peter, she cleared the rest of her evening to accommodate her. The youngster seemed a bit off when she last talked to Ingrid, which worried the old bat. Estelle was normally quite the chipper lass, and seeing anyone who had managed to worm their way into her bleeding heart anything but happy, caused Ingrid pain. She wanted to see her kids smiling. So, that brought her here, cleaning up to pass the time, until Estelle came by and Ingrid could try to take apart whatever was troubling the girl.

[Estelle Flores]

Estelle regretted asking to speak to Mrs. Barnes. Not because she didn’t like to speak with her! No, the prickly biology teacher was one of her favorite teachers in all of Hammel, but in a way, that was part of the problem. Estelle had planned on asking Mrs. Barnes for help in biology as a guise to just get some personal talking time in with her teacher. There were certain days when Estelle just needed someone to talk to who had a better perspective on things. And today was one of those days. Being told by your mother that you couldn’t speak to your older brother on his birthday made it hard to keep a smile on your face. But Estelle was trying. It’s what her dad would have wanted.

But back to the problem.

The problem was that her grade in biology was, miraculously, quite good. So she had no academic reason to take time out of Mrs. Barnes’ day to talk with her. Estelle didn’t want to bother her teacher with complaints about her personal life; the older woman had much more important things on her plate, Estelle was sure. She could have cancelled. In fact, she was thinking now she ought to have. But maybe getting a grade check and seeing Mrs. Barnes would make her feel better and she could go about the rest of her day a little easier.

Stopping at the door, she knocked twice before peeking her head into the classroom. “Mrs. Barnes?” She asked politely, putting on a big, only slightly forced grin for her teacher, “Hi. I was wondering if now you had time to talk?”

She walked in, rubbing her arm awkwardly. This was the hard part. She wasn’t all that great a liar and she always felt guilty lying to people she liked. “I… uh. I was wondering. Well, I like to get a grade check? I just… science was never really kind to me, and I’m working on getting straight A’s again, because that’s what Mom wants from us. Me and my…brother.” Estelle stared at her feet, trying to catch her falling smile. She chanced a glance at Mrs. Barnes to see if the older instructor was buying it. Probably not. “I’m sorry to bother you. I can come back later, if now’s a bad time.”

[Ingrid Barnes]

Ingrid glanced up from her musings and went towards to door, putting down her gathered papers at the sound of Estelle's voice. She smiled briefly, waving the girl into the room. "I wouldn't have agreed to meet you if I didn't have the time for it. Sit down Estelle." She motioned to a chair, straying behind her desk to plop down in her own.

She listened carefully, knowing good and well that the student was lying through her teeth. Grade check? Estelle was going to have to do better then that to fool the old bat. "You know perfectly well that you're doing exceptionally in my class Estelle. Prehaps a little lax on your last lab report, but you don't have anything to worry about." Ingrid raised an eyebrow in a try-harder-to-fool-me look, but she kept a smile in place to show that she wasn't angry.

"Now's a wonderful time for me, if it is good for you." She quipped, leaning back in her chair. "I've got all the time you need, and then some. Would you like something to snack on? I think I have some candy around here. Or some water bottles." She busied herself by looking through her drawers, giving the young girl a moment to settle down. She pulled out a bag of hard butterscotch and after frowning a moment, a bag of dark chocolate. "Only got the bitter stuff, I'm afraid. I'm not too much on sweets."

"Now, dear, is there something other then your grades you'd like to talk about? Because I can go on about class all day, and somehow i don't think you'd like to hear me rant." Ingrid went for the direct approach, deciding that Estelle looked nervous already and may run instead of letting out whatever was bothering her. On the other hand, cornering her might do more harm then good, so Ingrid left her an out, just in case. "Or did you just come here to bask in my company? Don't be to timid to say it; I know how my students adore me." Ingrid laughed, winking knowingly. Anyone with eyes-or ears really, she did get into some shouting matches- could see that a majority of her students could barely tolerate the old bat's teaching methods. Not that it bothered Ingrid one bit. Kids these days needed a hard influence to keep them on track.

[Estelle Flores]

Estelle smiled, feeling a little better already as she took the indicated seat, “Thanks Mrs. Barnes.” She said gratefully. Then, she blushed as the older woman saw straight through her poorly constructed lie, “W-well… It never hurts to check?” She smiled sheepishly, feeling a little embarrassed. “Oh,” She blinked, momentarily distracted by Mrs. Barnes’ offer of sweets, “No thank you.” She responded politely, smiling at her favorite teacher.

At Mrs. Barnes’ direct question, Estelle stared at her feet. She was already here and even though she didn’t want to waste any more of her teacher’s time, in a way, Estelle kind of already was. And she really did want to talk about this with someone who may have a better perspective on the situation without giving her too much pity. That was one thing she knew about Mrs. Barnes, the older woman wouldn’t treat her differently. Estelle laughed at her teacher’s teasing. “But I do like your company!” Estelle responded earnestly, “You keep us all in line.” She joked back, feeling more relaxed than she did all day. Estelle didn’t mind Mrs. Barnes’ teaching methods. Secretly, Estelle kind of wanted to be like Mrs. Barnes someday. She always seemed to know what she was talking about.

“Um.” Estelle kicked her feet under the chair, trying to figure out how to word this. “Well, I… kinda wanted some advice. On… like, family things. And…” She sighed, trying to make the words go the way she wanted to, “I’m really upset with my mother.” She said finally, “And I want to fix it. And I don’t know how.” Estelle’s face was, for once, without a smile as she stared at her knees, “My mom… is a little afraid of me, I think. Not that she doesn’t have a reason!” Estelle added hastily, rushing to excuse her mother from any ill assumptions, “It’s just that… she doesn’t understand what kinds of things metas can and can’t do, and you know how they say people are afraid of what they don’t understand? That’s kind of what my mom’s doing right now. In the like…” She gestured vaguely, “Three days before I physically left for Hammel, she didn’t want me around my older brother. Because she didn’t want me hurting him with my powers. Which made sense! I was only fourteen, and I didn’t know what to do with them. Anyway!” She shook her head apologetically, “I’m so sorry, I’m totally taking up a bunch of your time with this. I’ll get to the point, I promise.” Estelle ran a hand through her hair, “Today is my brother’s birthday. I…I called to talk to him and wish him a happy birthday and when my mom answered the phone, she said…” Estelle fiddled with the seam on the knee of her jeans, trying to control herself, “She didn’t want me to call anymore. Because I was too dangerous to associate myself with them. And that it would upset my brother.” Estelle looked up at her teacher, “I don’t know how to convince my mom that I’m better now. I mean, I’m still learning about my power, but I have enough control to be safe around my family! I don’t know what to do and I guess…” She shrugged, “I think I needed someone to talk to.” She finished, looking guiltily up at her teacher, “And I know this isn’t your job and I’m sorry. I think I probably should be talking to Dr. Neville or something, right? I just… I don’t know him at all, and I know you, so…” She trailed off, looking flustered and upset. This wasn’t going well.

[Ingrid Barnes]

Ingrid smiled at the young girl's sheepishness and put the candy back away. She was glad to see her jokes lightened the atmosphere that surrounded the girl. "Well, I'm glad to see that not all my students think I'm some demon. And of course I keep you in line, that's my job." Ingrid preened, clearly suffering from an ego boost.

Ingrid sat back, letting the girl gather her thoughts and willing to let her start this conversation, when Estelle wanted to talk. She listened with a poker face, not judging, just taking it in. But when she heard what they girl was saying, well, it broke her heart. Ingrid had seen kids come through here before; broken and rejected by those whose love should never be anything but unconditional. As a mother herself, Ingrid couldn't imagine turning against her children for any reason. Maybe it came with being different herself, but Ingrid refused to believe such trivial things could actually hold a bearing on a mother's connection with her baby. Seeing parents like that set her blood on boil, but for the child's expense, Ingrid rarely said anything about her personal feelings on the matter.

Letting the girl finish, Ingrid let the stony face drop into a frown and raised a hand to her mouth. After a moment of hard thought, she leaned over her desk to touch Estelle briefly. "First off, you are not wasting my time. I am a teacher. It is my duty as such to help my student's with everything, including their personal problems if they see fit to tell me. And I am also a mother and an old woman who adores the faces that come in and out of this room everyday. And the duty that comes with that dictates that I help those people with all of my power." She leaned back, smiling softly.

"If I said hearing that story didn't pain me, I'd be lying. And if I said that Se-ah, Dr. Neville wouldn't be a help during this, I'd also be lying. " She waved a hand in an apologetic manner, staring the girl down. "You are not dangerous. You are not something to be hidden or ashamed of. You are a special, kind young woman with so much promise. You are gifted." She spoke the last three words with conviction, voice wavering. How many times had Ingrid been forced to remind young souls these things? How many more times would she have to show hurting children that they had value and were wanted?

"I cannot force your mother to think differently. I can't fix your relationship with her. And I am sorry for that." She breathed deeply, placing her hands back on the table. "I can offer you advice. You must keep trying. Keep talking to her, writing, calling, sending emails, do what you must. Don't give up on this, on her. It may take time, maybe even years- and I know that's hard to hear, dear, I know- before she sees the truth. But I pray she does quickly. You are not something to be missed out on, Estelle." She leaned forward again, reaching for the girl's hand. "I am sorry that you can not talk to your brother. Is there any other way to speak with him? Could you email him? It's not much, but I'm sure he'd appreciate the sentiment."

[Estelle Flores]

Estelle shook her head vehemently, “I definitely don’t think you’re a demon.” She smiled teasingly at Mrs. Barnes.

When Estelle finished her story, she was worried that she had made Mrs. Barnes angry somehow. She certainly looked a little angered. Distressed, Estelle opened her mouth to give another apology when Mrs. Barnes spoke up. Estelle listened intently to her teacher’s speech, feeling embarrassed, upset and strangely encouraged. She didn’t expect Mrs. Barnes to solve her problems, but it was a relief to hear this reassurance from someone who didn’t feel obligated to tell her this. She’d talked this over with her other friends, of course. But it was different, talking with her friends than talking with a person who had more experience and was probably a little more brutally honest than her friends.

”You are gifted…”

At those words, Estelle felt herself tearing up, much to her dismay. She hadn’t ever heard someone tell her that before. “I don’t feel gifted,” Estelle sniffled, “I feel like I messed up our family group. When dad died, we were all each other had.” She rubbed her forehead with her knuckles, trying to keep the tears back, “And I feel bad because last year, all I wanted to do was go home and this year…” She shrugged, “I don’t want to go back at all. Isn’t that bad? I don’t even want to go home anymore.” She rubbed at her eyes furiously, pulling up a teary smile. “Gosh, look at me,” She laughed shakily, “I’m sorry, this kinda came out of nowhere.”

She listened intently to Mrs. Barnes’ suggestions. She nodded, “That’s a good idea. I’ll send her emails at the end of every quarter, just to tell her what’s going on with me?” She looked to her teacher for approval. She grinned, “That’s better than some of my friends’ suggestions. I’m pretty sure my friend Hazel back at home wanted to fight her. That would have been bad.” She brightened at her teacher’s suggestion on how to talk to her brother, “Oh, I didn’t even think about that! Maybe I’ll send him a big email. That would be cool.”

She smiled up at Mrs. Barnes, “I didn’t know you had kids. I’d like to hear more about them, if you don’t mind me asking.” She liked hearing about people and their families and she was ashamed to admit that she’d never even thought about whether or not her favorite teacher had a family or not.

[Ingrid Barnes]

Ingrid only gave a small chuckle at Estelle's assessment. Part of her felt like leaning over and ruffling the girl's hair, but she refrained. The situation was getting more terse as they kept talking about her family situation and the last thing Ingrid wanted to do was treat her like a kid. Estelle was a kid, but she was old enough to be treated like an adult during this discussion.

Ingrid felt a small jolt of panic, that was quickly over come with well hidden pain when she saw the tears welling up in the girl's eyes. Her heart went out to the child. "Estelle." Ingrid moved from her chair to sitting on the edge of her desk, scant inches away from the distraught teen. "Estelle, sometimes we don't think of our powers as a blessing. Sometimes they can feel like a curse. It isn't easy being one of us. It is hard and it can be painful. Life puts us in these difficult situations, that sometimes feel hopeless. But we just have to make the best of them."

She patted Estelle's knee, smiling softly. "What has happened to your family is not your fault. You can't help the way you were born." She sighed, tilting her head at the girl. "It's okay, not wanting to go back. It's okay to want to stay in the safety of this place. I did the same thing. I came back to teach not only because I love this place and love harassing students, but because this place was a home. It can be hard to leave it, and go somewhere that might be harsher or less accepting."

Ingrid nodded at the girl. "That would be fine, Estelle. And I'm sure your brother will love the email. Prehaps you should send him emails regularly as well. I'm sure he'd like to know what his sister is into." Ingrid didn't mention that her mother may not respond or even read the emails. She didn't mention that her suggestion for Estelle's brother was because Ingrid worried the woman wouldn't tell the boy anything. She didn't mention that part of her agreed with this Hazel. None of these things would really help Estelle right now. And personal feelings aside, that's what Ingrid was here to do.

"I don't mind at all." Ingrid turned and twisted, looking around her desk. She gave a little 'aha!' when she grabbed a picture frame from the far side and held it in front of Estelle. It was a photo from the previous Christmas. Ingrid and her husband were in the middle, surrounded by all three of their kids, their kid's significant others, and the three grand kids. Her tone, as she spoke, was colored with pride. "This is my blood family. Renee, Denny, and Sam are my kids. The old man is my husband Richard. The others are my son and daughter in laws. Well almost, Denny and Alex are still just engaged. The twins are Renee's and the girl is Sam's. Oh, and this is my other family!" Ingrid stopped and reached over for another frame, shoving this one at Estelle's face too. This one was taken in the staff lounge, showing several members of the Hammel staff during what looked like a birthday party. Ingrid smiled fondly down at both photos, not caring that she was ranting at the same girl who had came to her for help. These people were her joy in the world, she could never resit a chance to show them off.

[Estelle Flores]

Estelle blinked rapidly, trying to clear the tears from her eyes. “I don’t want people to think that I’m ashamed of metahumans.” She explained, “That would be terrible. Some people have beautiful powers. There’s a girl who has biological manipulation and she can heal people. I mean, that’s amazing. I just…” She shrugged, “I’m sure I can figure out something to do with my power, but I’m too afraid I’m going to stab someone.” She laughed then, not really meaning it. Stabbing someone on accident was one of her biggest fears about her powers. It was what was keeping her behind. “But you’re right.” She continued, “I should make the best of it. I mean, it can’t be all bad, right?” She smiled up at Mrs. Barnes again, a little more genuinely, “I could definitely be worse off.”

Estelle twisted her fingers together, “Yeah, but… I mean, what am I gonna do out in the real world?” She turned anxious eyes at her teacher, “I mean, I’m going to have to get used to being out there. I can’t hide in Hammel forever. Even thought that’s really all I want to do.” She huffed out a sheepish laugh. “I have to go to college somewhere and get a job and it’s all really…” She gesticulated awkwardly, trying to find a good word. “Scary.” She sighed and set her cheek on her hand, “It’s silly, I know. But I can’t help thinking that if I can’t even stand to be home, what am I gonna do when I can’t go back to school?” She made a helpless gesture, not liking how negative she was being. She was of the opinion that it was always better to be positive and smile, because there was always someone worse off than you. Just, right then, Estelle didn’t have the energy to be positive. And it was bothering her.

So she gladly latched onto the only halfway solution she was presented with. “Okay. I’ll do it then!” She smiled, already planning what she would tell him. Happy birthday, for starters…

Estelle gladly took the photograph of Mrs. Barnes’ family. “Ohhh,” She cooed, grinning broadly, “They’re beautiful!” She looked eagerly at the picture of her teacher’s smiling family. She laughed when Mrs. Barnes handed her the staff photograph, “Aww, this picture is awesome! That actually looks like a picture I carry around with all of us at Maggie’s birthday a couple years ago.” She fished into her backpack and pulled out her wallet and showed Mrs. Barnes the picture. “That girl right there,” She pointed to the smiling blonde girl in the center, “Is Maggie. She’s a genius. She can invent anything.” Estelle loved bragging about her friends. They were her family. “And the tall girl with the long, flowy skirt is Hazel. And that is Jamie. She’s from Uruguay and she moved over here in middle school.” She grinned, “She sometimes gets the cultural cues all wrong. And slang makes no sense to her still. And that’s Ruth!” She pointed to the redheaded girl on the end, “She goes here, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen her around before. She’s a speedster.” She smiled fondly at the picture, “They’re my family, pretty much.”

[Ingrid Barnes]

Ingrid gave the teary girl a tired smile, patting her on the head. "You'll fine a use for your powers yet. And even if not, that's not a bad thing. My power is pretty useless when teaching and it didn't exactly lend itself to child rearing. We just need to remember that our powers are part of who we are, all of who we are. It's just the same as having red hair or blue eyes." She was starting to sound more like a equality supporter, and backed down before she ended up in the same rant she'd given her mother in law. "You'll continue to improve at this school and your fears about hurting someone will be unfounded. You just wait in see, I'm never wrong about these things."

"Estelle, you'll be fine when you get older. You'll do prefect in college and get a good job. It's scary going out into the world alone, even for non metas." Ingrid grinned, winking down at her. "But we all manage. You're going to be fine, dear. Most young folks tend to rush head first into things, unplanned. But you keep an eye on the road ahead. The fact you tell me about these worries, let's me know you're going to be okay."

"Besides, you can still call up old Mrs. Barnes whenever you overwhelmed. And we don't look down on visits here, you know. No one would mind if you came to see some of the staff every now and again, even if you are an adult by then." Ingrid had seen relatives of students pop by before and some teachers' spouses cam by, so there was no harm in old students dropping in for a chat. She knew she'd enjoy it if some of her old classes would come by more often.

To say that Ingrid was getting a swelled head over the compliments to her family was an understatement. The woman really could take a compliment without preening over it for days. "Why yes they are! But you're little pals, now those are some people that I'm glad to see you're proud of." Ingrid's face softened, and she put away her photos with a more serious, but still kind look. "People like that are the ones who'll help you through the future you're so worried about. Biological or not, keep that family close and you're life will be filled with riches, Estelle."

[Estelle Flores]

Estelle smiled at Mrs. Barnes, heaving a heavy sigh. “I know. You’re right. It’s just some days, you know?” She wiped her eyes shakily. “Life gets a little dumb sometimes. But I’ll get over it.” Her smile grew wider and happier, “Thanks for meeting with me, Mrs. Barnes. I know you’re busy and I totally gave you a problem that you couldn’t be expected to solve and you made me feel a lot better. So… thanks.” She smiled sweetly.

Her teacher’s encouragement made her feel much better. After all, she supposed that if anyone was to know what happened when you left Hammel, it would be Mrs. Barnes. And her teacher would never give her false encouragement. “I’d really want to just… learn forever.” She shrugged sheepishly, “I love school. I don’t know what I’ll do when I don’t get to wake up and go and learn something new, even if it is something like Math. Or Science. I mean, I’m not naturally awesome at any science, but I love learning about everything. I don’t know where I can go that will let me learn as much as I can at school.” She laughed quietly, “I guess I just want to go to school forever.”

“Oh, I will!” Estelle said earnestly, nodding her head, “When I graduate, I will totally come back and visit you all the time!” She felt infinitely better, knowing that was an option. The future didn’t seem so solitary, now that she knew that whenever she felt like she needed to, she could come back to Hammel. “And you can still give me advice, because I’m sure I’ll need it.” She laughed then, a little self-depreciatingly, but happily.

She looked at her photo, running a fond hand over the face of the picture and the smiling faces of her friends. “You’re right.” Estelle said, her smile small and quietly happy, “I’m actually really lucky, I think. I’ve got great friends, and I go to a great school and I have nice teachers who will tell me not to be so silly and make me feel better.” She looked up at Mrs. Barnes, her smile mischievous. “Not a lot of people have that. Thanks, Mrs. Barnes.”

[Ingrid Barnes]

(ooc: I apologize for this being late.)

"We all have our times of doubt Estelle. We're only human." She comforted, gesturing kindly at the girl. At least she was able to help her feel better. It was things like this that made her job worthwhile. "Don't ever worry about taking my time dear, I've got plenty to spare. But you're welcome."

"No one ever said you had to stop studying." Ingrid interjected, looking amused. Why couldn't all her students be so eager to learn?" But unfortunately, being a lifetime student is frowned on and costs money. But if you like school so much..." She trailed off, grinning like a maniac. "You could always be a teacher.

"Good. I'll hold you to it." She declared, crossing her legs and tossing her head back. She gave a haughty smirk. And why wouldn't everyone to visit her? She did think of herself so highly and all. It only made sense, in Ingrid's mind, that others would recognize her fantastic persona as well. " Though perhaps by then you won't be needing much advice. You still got some growing to do and in that time, I'm sure you'll figure out a lot about life." It was unspoken that Ingrid believed the child wouldn't learn as much as she had. Ingrid did have an infinite amount of more life experience.

She soften her look, glad to see that the worst of Estelle's pain had temporary passed. "You're welcome. You can always come back to me, if you need reminding of that."

[Estelle Flores]

[ooc: so late! DX I'm sorry!]

Estelle matched her teacher’s grin about being a teacher. “I had thought about that, actually,” She confessed shyly, “I think it would be a good thing for me to do. Maybe I could even come back here to teach! That would be fun.” She smiled, looking dreamily at middle distance. To be able to live at Hammel forever… that would be a dream come true. It was the only place she ever felt safe and wanted. “I’ll have to learn how to take no nonsense, though.” She laughed, looking over at her teacher, “Hopefully, I’ll get to that point.”

Estelle laughed at Mrs. Barnes’ haughty demeanor. In her mind, Mrs. Barnes deserved to think highly of herself. She was a great teacher. “Oh, I think I’ll always need some advice,” Estelle declared wryly, “Mostly on how to be sure of myself. And how to stand up for myself.” Estelle was self-aware; she knew that some people chose to take advantage of her goodwill. It didn’t mean she was ever going to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt. “But hopefully, I’ll be okay.”

Estelle looked at the clock, “Oh, I should go. It’s almost time for dinner, and I don’t want to keep you.” She stood up and slung her backpack over her shoulder. She beamed at her prickly biology teacher, “Thanks for being there for me, Mrs. Barnes. It means a lot.” With another sweet smile, Estelle opened the door and skipped down the hall, feeling that everything was going to be okay.

[closed for Estelle C:]