Twinkle Twinkle (Open)

[Courtney Ross]

Dusk was an excellent time, and Courtney had discovered one of the very charming features of a good clear night in Vermont. When the sun went down, all the stars came out and they looked so clear, not light poisoned like in big cities. Here, you could see a glimpse of Mars in the sky and it was nice, just knowing that no matter where she was, there was still the moon and stars. Different stars, but stars still. Courtney had wandered out on the training field because it didn't have trees to block out the sky above. She just hoped that nothing went wrong. She had an excellent skill, inviting disaster at a moment's notice. Almost as useful as being a mutant.

"No no, happy thoughts." Courtney reminded herself. She liked it here at Hammel, really she did, and she was almost getting adjusted. She just kept slipping into those stupid thoughts, depressing thoughts that needed to shoo themselves out of her head. "I love school here, I love not being a freak, I love being happy..." Maybe she was just homesick.

There was a faint flash in front of her face and Courtney focused her eyes sharply, staring at the bug floating just in front of her. It was a thin black insect with a red head and thin, spindly antennae. It flashed again, and Courtney smiled. The lightening bug hummed away and she followed it, thinking back to her childhood. She used to spend hours chasing the creatures across the course of a summer, trapping them in an old jelly jar with holes stabbed in the lid and letting them glow.

Even though she knew now that the lights were just a chemical reaction to attract females, she didn't want the boring explanation. Her father had told her when she was younger that lightening bugs were what happened when lightening touched the ground. It kicked up every little pebble and brought them to life, making the creatures light up every so often to show off the lightening in their blood. Why couldn't she have lightening in her blood, shoot electricity or fire or at least be useful or-

"Gah, no!" Courtney growled to herself. "I am here and I am so happy here and there are lightening bugs... I am happy." she whispered to herself. "I am so... happy..." She couldn't even convince herself she was happy. This plan was not working. "Oh lightening bug." Courtney murmured as it buzzed away. "Maybe if you told me I was happy... I do want to be happy." Instead, she was angsty, and frustrating herself. "Just keep twinkling, won't you lightening bug?"

[Courtney Ross]

Courtney was trying to think, really she was. Whining to herself would help nothing, and it certainly wouldn't amuse the lightening bug, which was probably ready to fly far far away from her. She didn't know why she was so down in the dumps, but it seemed to be a hard place to be. Yes, because navel contemplation of the gloom of her situation was going to cheer her up in no time. Fabulous job there Courtney, you're doing just great. Great at misery.

When she heard the sound of another girl's voice, Courtney nearly jumped into the atmosphere. As it was, she was startled enough to stiffen, but she tried not to look too panicked. This seemed like a situation in which social skills might have come in handy, or even the ability to freak out slightly less. Still, the girl seemed friendly enough. She was smiling, after all, and her tone of voice suggested that she wouldn't try to bite Courtney immediately, which was always a plus. however, what she said sent Courtney back into that mental loop, of what she was trying to do and where this happiness was supposed to come from.

She was trying to cheer herself up, wasn't she? Yes, that was certainly why she kept repeating how happy she was, regardless of whether or not it was actually working. It was a verbal reminder that just seemed to deaf ears, not limited to her own. And as the girl walked towards her, Courtney tried to honestly answer her question. Did it work?

"I... I guess not." Courtney murmured, not really sure how to act. Maybe she was annoying the girl, maybe the girl was just trying to be nice or maybe the girl was just bored. She really wasn't sure how to respond to any of those situations, and she was a little nervous about that fact. Well, she was always nervous. "So sorry if I'm bothering you, I'm just a bit... confused, I guess." She knitted her fingers together, watching the firefly that danced before her, hoping it didn't tire of her. She could never be bored with bugs; watching them day in and day out would be more than enough for her. She could hear a few crickets chirping a ways away and she listened to see if they seemed to be saying much of anything. Content that they weren't, Courtney turned her scattered attentions to the stranger before her.

"Uhm, hi, my name's Courtney, Courtney Ross." she said quietly, wondering if she had seen or met the girl before. The lighting was a bit dim, so she couldn't be sure, but maybe they had passed in the halls or something equally mundane. "Sorry if I'm putting a damper on your night..." Conversation, after all, was the polite thing, wasn't it? "Ah, are you out here for any special reason?" Perhaps she could repair what was surely a low opinion of herself with this stranger. Or she could fail. That was always an option.