Beware the Blonde Ninja [Richmond Clan]

[Horus Richmond]

Horus was so excited to see his brothers and sister that he'd spent class (when he was awake) practically un-teachable, to the point where poor Mr. Tonaya had to literally tell him to get out before he had to strangle him. Once free of his prison, he'd practically leapt over anyone in the way and punched the air. Even Vincent had been shoved out of the way after being shouted at in a crude manner "FUCK YEAH SETT'S HERE".

Grabbing every item of clothing he thought might be important, pocketing Nomnom and grabbing his cage, he'd torn his dorm apart, made himself look pretty rad with some sweeet piercings he'd bought a few weeks ago, then charged full pelt across the corridors, ignoring Sean, and anyone else that told him to slow down before he did himself an injury. Signing out of the school for the weekend (with a particularly whooping explanation of how he was gonna just pimp the weekend out with 1337 7|_|/\/35 -he did write it like that) he grabbed his bag, Nomnom's cage, and flew out of the Hammel gates faster than Vin can rip Moe's panties.

Thankfully, not all is lost. Horus had a secret weapon to get him to the new Richmond house faster than his rather unfit legs could carry him. Please don't all facepalm at once when I tell you that he bought a unicycle with his March pocket money. Because he did. And it's green. And he's been practicing with Sammy all week so he can cycle on it without smashing his face into a wall, a window, Vincent, and worse, Levi. Nothing is sadder than a squished cute Levi.

That aside, the blonde made sure the cage was held tightly in his arms, Nomnom protected, then set off, sans a helmet, down into the town, shouting loudly and whooping as he flew down the hill, obscenities about dicks, and how Hammel could suck them being bellowed all the way down into Pilot Ridge. It was pretty easy to spot a wild blonde boy carrying a chinchilla travel cage and riding a unicycle, but Horus wasn't taking that chance as he pedaled towards the "Clan House", a big grin on his face.

Eventually, the blonde had to find a way to stop the green one wheeled instrument of doom, so he decided to stop pedaling, and fell off sideways into the steps leading to the front door.

"'M HERE. LEMME IN." He shouted, hammering his fists on the door, completely ignoring the doorbell. "NOMNOM WANTS T'SEE YA!" He took the slightly worried chinchilla out of his pocket and offered him up to the peephole, as though this would some how gain him entry faster.

[Anubis Richmond]

Anubis was impatient.

Today was the day that he had been waiting for. They had settled into their new house (although Anubis did a very poor job of unpacking) and now Horus was coming to stay for the weekend. He had been so crushed when his baby brother had moved to the States to go to school at Hammel, but now he was here and Anubis got to see him again.

He didn't know what Sett and Sakhmet were doing and he didn't particularly care. He spent the morning plastered to the front window of the house, looking up and down the road for any hint of Horus. Every once in a while, he would shout out questions like "What time is it?" and "When's Bubba coming?" and though every time he got the same answer, he continued to ask.

When he finally caught sight of Horus, riding on a green unicycle no less, he bellowed "HORUS IS HERE!" and then finally peeled himself away from the window. Shortly after his brother collided with the door, Anubis did so as well from the opposite side, fumbling with the latch and finally pried the door open. He was grinning from ear to ear as he threw his arms around Horus and hugged him like he hadn't seen him in years. "BUBBA!"

Though the reason for Anubis and his brother and sister to come here had not been a happy one, for all intents and purposes, Horus looked well. Maybe that was just because Nub was so excited to see his baby brother, but considering how he's just latched himself to Horus, he's not seeing much of anything but a messy mop of blonde hair. "I missed you!" Anu's voice actually sounded a little sad.

[Sakhmet Richmond]

Sahkmet had, as usual, spent most of the day cooped up in the kitchen in preparation. She'd been unable to stock her pantry quite as much as she'd wished, so there wasn't quite as much of a feast as she'd initially planned: fresh rolls were rising in the oven, a salad with dried cranberries and bleu cheese was on the table alongside a squash casserole, baked sweet potatoes, boiled asparagus and tomatos stuffed with creamed spinach. The steaks were sizzling on the grill, coconut and chocolate cookies were towering on a tray, and a raspberry chocolate parfait was sitting in the refrigerator. She wished she'd had the time and ingredients to prepare a fancier spread.

At Anubis' announcement her head snapped up from the coffee mousse she was mixing. "Horus?" She trailed into the living room, bowl in hand, stirring as she went.

"Welcome home." She smiled at her younger brother. This wasn't the home she'd expected him to return to, but that wasn't important: the important part was his family was here, and that was what made it home. "Sorry, I would hug you but..." She glanced down at herself, pink and red plaid apron smudged with chocolate from the mousse. "Actually, I need to set this into cups now, would you like to help?" She knew he would eat more than would make it into the bowls, but as long as at least four cups were salvaged she didn't care. She made it for eating, after all.

"Dinner is almost ready," She informed the two boys, motioning them to follow her back into her domain. "Anubis, will you let Sett know?"

She'd already set the table, so there were no duties to request of the older boys. "Oh, Horus, I've missed you. How was school? Have a cookie and tell me all about it," She added, jerking her blonde head toward the tray.

[Sett Richmond]

Sett was going through the classified ads in the living room with his headphones on while the reunion was going on which was why he hadn't a clue that Horus had arrived. He had conveniently put on his headphones because Anubis kept screaming out Horus related questions that Sett didn't know the answer to. He had wanted to pick the boy up himself from Hammel but Horus kept saying no so being the doting big brother, he let the youngest of the Richmond clan get his way. Especially since they were all there to cater to his every whim anyway.

But the smells coming from the kitchen had no way of being blocked by any external devices so Sett was drawn to that. He walked like he was on air to the kitchen, past the trio being all happy seeing each other. The animal one track mindedness in Sett blocked out everything as he let his stomach lead the way to the kitchen. "Sahkyyyy," he whined. "I need fooood," he said, turning around to look for the one responsible for the delicious smells only to find his younger siblings all standing around together hugging and babbling.

"Horus!" Sett exclaimed before rushing to his baby brother and throwing him over his shoulder. "How are you!? And Sahky, I am in serious need of food." He gave Sahkmet his most pitiful puppy dog look.

[Horus Richmond]

Horus' muffled warnings about squishing Nomnom seemed ignored as Anubis squished him into his chest, trying to lift the little chinchilla up so he wouldn't be turned into a fuzzy pancake. Struggling to free himself from Nub's deathgrip, he squirmed free and checked the white furry ball over for any injuries, then plonked him in his travel cage for safe keeping - thankfully just in time to save the poor chinchilla from being squished into Sett too.

"Hello t'y'all too, fuckin' nutters." He said affectionately, trying to make grabby hands towards Sahkmet's cooking, his hoodie riding up. "Sett put m'down y'great assbucket." He added, flailing, trying to cover up the fact that he was skinny. Not that Horus thought he was, but the amount of rib showing through his skin said otherwise.

When eventually put down on the floor once more, the blonde practically flew into the kitchen and went to investigate Sahkie's delights, poking fingers in things and sneaking bites of whatever was going, stuffing a whole cookie into his mouth and trying to look innocent. "SO." He said, crumbs going everywhere. "I was thinkin' Sammy could come over an' visit later in th'week an' we could have a bangin' party with booze an shiz." He said, sliding on top of the table and wrinkling his nose.

"I missed y'guys." Horus admitted, investigating Sahkie's salad. "Uh, Sahksahk? Th'salad has chunks o'mould in it." He offered it out, shaking his head. "OH. What didya think of m'awesome unicycle skills? Me an' Sam an' Vin all bought one an' we're so epic on them. Sett, y'should get one an' do some cool shit. OH EM GEE. Turn int'a lion on one. Unicycling lion eff tee doubleyew." Looking around the place, he couldn't help but notice a large accumulation of brightly coloured plates on the side.

"... Nubs, y'been usin' five fingered discounts again, y'fuckin' ... fuckface?" He asked affectionately, opening his arms for more well deserved sibling cuddles, legs flailing.

[Anubis Richmond]

Trying to prove that he could at least be somewhat helpful, Anubis took Nomnom's travel cage and Horus' bag and set them on the chair in the living room. This left Horus open for plenty of sibling cuddles. He cooed something to the little chinchilla before following the family procession into the kitchen that was filled with Sakhmet's wonderfully aromatic food.

He laughed as his little brother flailed, drooped over Sett's shoulder, and fondly messed his hair. Annie couldn't wipe the smile off his face, nor could he hold still, so he began fidgeting with anything that was within range. "Sett, you're worse than Sahky's cats." Anu grabbed one of the rolls and shoved it up in the shifter's face. "Here you go, kitty." He laughed, then wiggled up on the table to sit beside Horus.

"You planning on joining the circus or something?" From what Horus had told him about his friends, it certainly wouldn't have surprised him. The addition of unicycles was just the icing on the cake.

But Nub wasn't entirely immune to the food that was surrounding them and his stomach decided to make itself known, making a particularly loud grumble. "... Is it almost time to eat, Sahky?" He leaned into Horus' side, wrapping his arms around his middle, and stuck his tongue out at his baby brother. "Nuh uh! They're mine!" Stealing? Of course not. Anubis was just taking what belonged to him. (Yeah right.)

[Sakhmet Richmond]

"Once the mousse is finished then we can eat. I'm almost done, patience." She didn't particularly expect the boys to keep their fingers out of the food, anyway, but perhaps they'd wait to begin proper shoveling.

"It's not mould, it's bleu cheese." She laughed at the look on Horus' face, "Trust, it's good." She knew he wasn't particularly fond of vegetables, but she was determined that he would eat some greens. After all, a balanced diet was necessary for good health and she wanted her brothers to be healthy. At least he never objected (too much) when she requested he eat a tiny bit of salad and vegetables just for her.

"Sure, I'd love to have your friends over. What does Sammy like to eat?" If he was anything like Horus she was going to be spending long hours baking the night before the party instead of crafting trendy hors d'oeuvres. On the other hand, if Sammy was anything like Horus he would make certain that the party was a party, filled with excitement and entertainment. She wondered if she could sneak some stuffed mushrooms or spinach dip in with cookies and lemon bars. Perhaps Horus' friends wouldn't be too picky and would eat more vegetable-oriented appetizers.

Yet another query about dinner caused her to roll her eyes, unable to keep the affectionate grin off her face. "The table is set, everything is ready but the mousse. You can go ahead and pile up your plates. I'll join you in just a second."

[Sett Richmond]

Sett was the last person to ever deny the fact that he was obtuse at times but even he didn't miss how Horus had grown smaller from the last time they saw each other. Not one to dampen the mood, he was glad Anubis shoved the roll in his mouth. He let Horus down finally and followed the two boys into the kitchen.

"Hey I'm all for that sh - wait you have a unicycle? Since when?" Sett threw the curtains open to investigate outside but saw nothing resembling a unicycle. "You fuckin' wit me, Russ?" He turned to ruffle the youngest Richmond's blonde hair as they all adjourned to the already set-up dining table.

He laughed when Horus called Anubis out for his plate collection. Despite Anubis' protestations, no one believed him. Least of all Horus, they all knew. "Sammy? Pyro Sammy? Aw hells yes. Tha' boy needs to com'ere and bring everyone he knows." Sett was most affectionate with Horus' friends, especially Sammy. The boy was a riot to be around.

With Sahky's green light, Sett was the first on his chair, scooping up bits of this and that on to his plate and waited impatiently for everyone to sit down. "Hurry up with the mousse, Sahky! I can't wait to eat!" Sett was already gobbling down the salad.

"Horus, you're stayin' 'ere for awhile yeah?"

[Horus Richmond]

Horus felt his family's love and affection smothering him, and he cheered up instantly, still eying the bleu cheese with a distinct amount of suspicion. "Y'sure it's not mould?" He asked again, letting out a soft meep as Anubis snuggled on him. "'Cause it's lookin' pretty off." Still, it didn't stop the unceremonious blonde from jabbing his finger into the salad, fishing out a lump of cheese and nibbling on it cautiously. "'t's alright. Smells a bit like Sett's feet though." He gave in grudgingly, before escaping Anubis and wooshing out the room once more.

When he returned, he was holding out his carefully decorated Snorlax Unicycle for Sett to approve of. "See! See, I wasn't shittin' with y'or anythin'." The blonde was full of energy as he set the cycle against the wall - something he was sure Sahkie wouldn't be too thrilled with, and plonked himself in one of the seats, licking his lips. "This 's lookin' great Sahksahk." He said eagerly, practically shoveling items onto his plate as though he'd never been fed before in his life.

"Nub, y'totally gotta get a handle on this shit." Horus teased his older brother, waving his fork in his direction. "Though th'stapler arrangement on th'mantlepiece is pretty cool. How'dya get so many?" Cramming a roll in his mouth to the point where his cheeks bulged like an obese hamster, the narco wiped his mouth.

"Pizza. Pizza an' nachos an' anythin'." Horus grunted in response to Sahkmet's question, spraying crumbs across the table. "An' yeah, 'm here till Monday mornin'." He gave a thumbs up, then suddenly pulled his sister over in a bear hug. "I MISSED YOUR COOKIN' SO BAD." He whined, nuzzling the poor girl's back. "No one got shit on y'eats."

[Anubis Richmond]

When Sakhmet gave them permission to fill their plates, Anu practically leaped into a chair and joined in the frantic gathering of food. Boys will be boys, I suppose. Especially in the presence of great cooking.

It was the Richmond Family Insanity that Anubis loved best. Even though this new house wasn't quite home, it was home enough now that he had his brothers and his sister there to break it in. (And with Horus and Sett and possibly Sammy around? They'll be lucky it survives the first weekend. I hope they have insurance.) But of course, Anubis couldn't stop being Anubis long enough to ignore the shiny unicycle propped against the wall. It was only when a fork was thrust at him that he managed to pry his eyes away and pretend to be more fascinated with the heaping helpings of food on his plate. "I have plenty of handles!" He offered in his defense, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And Sett wouldn't let me take all my stuff so I hid my staplers in my clothes." He looked rather proud of himself, as if having an unhealthy obsession with office supplies is totally something one should take pride in. Never mind the fact that it held them up at the airport. Anu certainly wasn't going to leave his favorite collection back at the old house where they'd gather dust.

He laughed when Horus ambushed Sakhmet, then quickly started in on his meal while she was mostly distracted. It all smelled and looked too good to ignore any longer.

[Sakhmet Richmond]

Sakhmet eyed the unicycle with distinct suspicion. "....Horus. Why is there a unicycle in the house." She demanded, hoping it hadn't been dragged through anything too disgusting. "Don't you think you should keep that outside?"

The boys unsurprisingly didn't even wait for her to sit down before digging in. Clearly all the traveling had given her older brothers quite an appetite, though she couldn't blame them; airport food was overpriced and awful and the food offered on their flight had been peanuts. Not the most filling meal ever.

"Pizza and nachos..." She repeated. Definitely about what she'd expected. "I believe I can handle that. Any particular flavors I need to avoid? I have this lovely coconut cake recipe I've been dying to try, but if anyone is adverse to coconut I can go with something else. When would you like them to come o....eek!"

She gave a yelp of surprise as the youngest Richmond flung his arms around her waist, grasping the bowl of mousse with one hand while the other shot out to steady herself on the wall.

"Aww, Horus, you must let me pack your lunches." She offered, returning her attention to the mousse once she was sure she was in no danger of falling over. "Help me divvy this up into glasses?" She added, jerking her head in the direction of the glass mousse bowls. "You may lick the spoon after we're done if you do. And the bowl." As if she would deny him if he didn't help.

[Sett Richmond]

"My feet smells lovely thank you very much." Sett said smugly before proceeding to devour his second helping of salad. It went to show how amazing Sahky's dishes were that even salad got a second helping.

When Horus disappeared and reappeared again with a unicycle, Sett was just slightly aware of the different faces Anu and Sahky were making before bursting into laughter at the presence of the unicycle itself. "Where in the hell didja ge' tha'?" He asked incredulously. Trust Horus [and in some aspects Anu] to find the unlikeliest things to own.

He raised an eyebrow at Anu's smug look as he declared his intelligence about the staplers before ruffling the younger boy's soft hair. "Yeah yeah, 'course you're smart."

Sett joined in Anu's laughter when Horus wrapped his stick thin arms around Sahky. He also agreed with the youngest Richmond's statement. "He's right, Sahk. Ye should find a job where you can cook so everyone knows tha'. Ye can't hide yer talents." Sett said through a mouthful of lettuce. "'M pretty sure anything you cook, even coconut would be stupid awesome."


When Sahkmet allowed Horus to lick the bowl, Sett adopted an affronted look. "What about me? And Anu. How can you deprive us from mousse...mousse Sahky..." he pulled Anu and pressed the younger boy's cheeks against his own. "Look at his face. The poor thing."

[Horus Richmond]

Horus had just managed to cram an entire bread roll in his mouth when Sakhie asked her question. Giving a furious few chews and swallowing with a large amount of orange juice, Horus wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and wrinkled his nose. "'F I leave 't outside it could get stolen." He pleaded with his older sister, doing the infamous Horus PuppyEyes. "I promise 't ain't dirty an' stuff." He added, taking some of the salad and nibbling it, before dumping a ton of squash casserole on the plate and cramming it into his mouth.

He was about to cram another giant forkful into his open trap when the next words Sakhmet said sunk in, and he leapt out of his chair, flying over to the mousse cups, and willingly pouring the mousse into them. He did sneak a few licks from the bowl before it was empty, then grinned. "Yeah, y'can make m'lunches." Horus nodded, then he paused and moved over to his sister. "'m really serious, we got th'money t'buy a lil' shop f'ya an' y'could sell buns an' bread an' all that good stuff." The boy encouraged, taking the spatula into his mouth and giving it a good suck.

"As f'th'unicycle... I spent this month's allowance on it." The blonde shrugged, looking very happy with his chocolate hit. "Me an' Sam an' Vin all have one. An' I decorated them all with m'awesome skillz." He added cheerfully, sitting back down at the table, then eying the bowl greedily. "Sam an' Vin eat ANYTHIN'. Really. 'S like they've never eaten in their lives." Horus nodded to himself, then paused, looking over at Sett.

"W'can totally afford t'buy a lil' bakery or shop or someshit f'Sakhie, right, or do we gotta ask RA." The blonde frowned. Ra was tight with money on occasion, and if anyone deserved somewhere to call their own, it was Sakhmet, after all, she had to put up with a household full of boys all the time. Nudging Anubis with his foot, Horus nodded his head.

"An' then when I graduate, Nub an' I are gonna make a fashion shop an' shiz. Jus' no stapler accessories." The blonde nodded to himself, before taking another bite of squash casserole, utterly content to be around his family.

[Anubis Richmond]

If there's any doubt, I shall remove it now by saying that Horus' beloved unicycle will mysteriously disappear before the day is over. Anu just can't help himself and, besides, it's shiny! At least Horus knows all the right places to look when stuff suddenly goes missing.

Nub stuck his tongue out at Sett and declared, "I am so smart! Smarter than you, anyways!" Yeah, like Sett's going to let that one slide, but antagonizing his older brother is one of Anu's most favorite pastimes.

"Thakie 'otally needs a 'akeshot!" The alchemist spouted with his mouth full of food. Manners? What are those? At the looks he earned, he quickly swallowed, coughed a bit when it didn't go down right, then fixed his sister with a hopeful look. "And maybe I could help you decorate it? I promise no staplers!" He had to get that out before Sett or Horus could tease him.

Anubis squeaked when Sett grabbed him and screwed up his face at the super close proximity to Sett and his facial hair. He pushed it aside for a moment and managed to look rather sad... at least until he stuck out his bottom lip to far in an attempt at pouting. "Moooouuussseeee!" He whined, ten laughed and pulled away from his brother. "Your face is scratchy!"

Rubbing at his cheek, Anu beamed when Horus spoke about their future plans. "Yeah! And we'll be famous and awesome and have all the prettiest models!"

[Sakhmet Richmond]

Sakhmet blushed at the compliments, despite having heard them before. "I would like to..." She admitted, keeping her attention on the mousse. "But I don't know quite what the requirements are for opening a business in America." She thought a license of some kind was needed, but how one acquired that license was unknown; she'd been originally planning on opening a business in Somerset, not in Pilot Ridge so her knowledge on the specifics for their current location was somewhat limited.

"I am not depriving either of you." She sniffed, rolling her eyes at Sett's antics. "It's for dessert so you'll get to have more than just a spoonful." She tactfully didn't include that she thought that Horus needed to gain some weight and Sett did not.

She had to smile at her brothers and their insistence that she open up a shop. "Flatterers." She giggled, finally settling herself at the table with them. "I'll research the requirements for opening a business, then. And Nubs can help me decorate." She agreed. "Perhaps Nubs and Horus would be interested in coming up with some cute uniforms for my employees?" She batted her eyelashes at her brothers. "After all, your fashion house needs some clients, so my staff will be a walking advertisement for you." Hypothetically, assuming she could fulfill all the requirements to start up a business locally.