Jane Williams

[Jane Williams]

The Basics

[/i][/size][/right]

Name: Jane Grace Williams
Nicknames: none
Age: 12 1/2
Orientation: Bisexual( she'll realize it in her late teens)
Desired Rank/Job: Student
Powers: Pyrokinesis
Play By: Ariel Winters

The Details

Hair Color: brown
Eye Color: green
Any Piercings? none but she does want some.
Any Tattoos? none but wants one
Any Scars? a few burn marks
General Appearance: Jane has a very laid back style, even though her mother liked to dress her up in dresses and skirts for some reason. Her hair is mainly up in a pony tail or some other up style. She does wear some jewelry but it’s very rare that she does. She generally walks very relaxed but when she looking for something or someone, her walk in more tense. When she is comfortable and happy, she presents herself with happiness and pride. She still presents herself with pride even if she's shy, sad or anything but it’s harder to notice.

Personality:Jane loves adventure. She also loves pulling pranks. She loves having a good time and making people laugh and smile. She can sometimes be self-centered and not aware of how people feel when she makes jokes about them. So that makes it harder for her to keep and make friends. She is also a big trouble maker at times just so she gets some attention away from her brother. She knows that her brother is mute and always tries to help him out whenever she can.

Ever since her powers started appearing she would shy away from people especially when fire was around. She doesn't really care what people think of her at times but she still does care at times like everyone else does. She’s a very shy girl around new people, but once she gets to know them she is more outgoing. She also has a lot of hyper at times.

Your Vices

Likes: playing Piano, guitar, and singing, and being with her brother.
Dislikes: spiders, bullies, being picked on, not being able to control her powers, the cold weather. When it is cold she stays inside as much as possible
Strengths: Piano, guitar, and singing. She’s best at playing the piano.
Weaknesses:trying to make her brother smile, singing and playing piano with him, fire, crowds
Fears: spiders (a little),crowds , the cold.
Secret: Even though she knows there are more people like her, she still feels alone.

Family Ties

Father: Kennedy Williams, late 40’s, music instructor
Mother:Maryanne Williams, early 40’s, seamstress
Siblings: Shane Williams,17 ,student
Any Other Important People:none, as for pets she usually stays away from animals . However, she acts like she likes her brother’s dog dusty even though at times she does indeed really like the dog.

History

Jane's life was a very interesting life as she grew up. Her mom couldn't stand the sound of her crying as a baby, because of this her brother, Shane took care of her and calmed her all the time she cried. This caused them to form a close bond with each other. She always loved spending with her brother.

It was around February when her older brother, Shane, powers was discovered and the attention the she usually got quickly went to her brother. She loved her brother dearly, but she hated when her attention was taken away from her. Yes she was jealous but it was normal. She hated to be ignored. She hated that he had to leave and go far away to a new school, but it did make her feel a lot better that he promised to read her letters

In school before her powers were discovered, she was a trouble maker for missing a lot of class. She was always scared something would go wrong and the kids would make fun of her for having her powers. One day, they did start making fun of her about it; well it caused them to make fun of her. It was during a school event that her school sometimes had. She was talking to some kids near where they were making the hot dogs and everything. When she got mad for some reason and the fire that they were cooking on exploded. While no one was hurt it scared everyone enough to fear her. Jane didn't believe them when they started teasing that it was her fault. She was afraid that the people would come and take her away like her brother. But if they came to take her away attention would be back on her right? She was very torn between wanting to be the one that caused the problem and not being the one.

It wasn't long after that little event that the people from the school her brother went to came and took her away from her home. She wasn't at all use to being away from them for this long, but they told her this was going to be good for her.

Jane plans on spending a lot of time reading, studying, and working hard... oh all of that on top of getting in trouble and harassing her big brother.

Roleplay Example

Tempest wasn't the most well liked person in Hogwarts and she didn't really want to be either. In her mind, popularity was useless well still at Hogwarts so she did what she wanted and she didn't care a bit how about what people were thinking about her. She was always seemed as crazy and a bit of a loner. She didn't mind this; actually she found it quite entertaining. She would always smirk and laugh at the whispers she heard, because she found the way people would whisper and say things about her. She didn't mind that she was almost always alone; it gave her a lot of time to think and plan what she was going to do next to cause trouble at Hogwarts, terrorize people and just plain mess with their minds.

Tempest chuckled as she made her way down to the lake, where she knew people weren't there most of the time. She lit a cigarette as she sighed and walked down to the lake. She chuckled as she exhaled smoke and strolled around. She looked around at everything that was around her as she walked. As she approaches the lake, she saw a girl sitting on a tree stump. The girl appeared to be wiping her eye for some reason. She was now curious, so she went over to the girl and saw that the girl had been crying a little, said" Why is a pretty girl like you crying? I'm here to listen if you need it" Unknown to many, well she taught that, tempest did have a soft side she just didn't bring it out very much.
(This is my character from another site. usually can type a bit more)

What About You?

Name: Shane or shanemusic
Age: 18
Experience: I can’t remember how long =]
How Did You Find Us? from Google
Ready To Play?I love rping

[/blockquote]

[Admin!]

Needs Work.

[/size][/b]

There are some issues here that need to be addressed. I'm just going to cover them in the order they appear. There are also some problems with grammar, mostly sentences that do not start with a capital letter, that you should look at. And please, put a space between paragraphs. It makes it much easier to read since we do not have indents.

Appearance: I don't understand how her brother being brought to Hammel has anything to do with this. Also, you should give us a little more here. In addition to personal style, you can explore how she carries herself, her posture, and how she presents herself.

Personality: There should be some more depth here, namely with personality flaws. Everyone has them, and being a troublemaker really doesn't cover it enough. Is she self-centered? Is she oblivious to other people's emotions? Is she willing to make someone the butt of a joke so she can laugh? There are a lot of ways to give her some more depth without changing the good parts of her personality you already covered.

History: This needs some clearing up, mostly because the lack of capital letters and spaces between paragraphs makes it difficult to read. Is Shane a meta? What is his power? How old was she when her power manifested? How long did it take Hammel to find her? (The recruiters at the school are very good at what they do, and if she made something explode, it wouldn't take more than a week for them to find her.)

Once you've made the changes, let someone on staff know so we can review her again.
[/blockquote][/center]

[Admin!]

Still Needs Work.

[/size][/b]

First, we have an expectation of a certain level of grammar on Hammel. You have to use capital letters in posts and applications. I pointed this out already.

Second, I only just realized that Jane is a requested character for Shane Williams. I did not get that from the app. Please rework the history so it is chronological (Her reaction to Shane's leaving coming before her own manifestation, for instance.) and answers the questions I have already posed, including more information about Shane and how long it took Hammel to find her.

Also, why is playing the piano in both her strengths and weaknesses? I don't understand why it would qualify for both.

It might also be a good idea to discuss this app with Rose, Shane's player. Because she already has Shane established, you can work out together more details on their relationship and then put it into the app.
[/blockquote][/center]

[Jane Williams]

i fixed it =]

[Admin!]

ACCEPTED!
Congratulations, you have been accepted to the Hammel Institute. There are some CLAIMS you should look at, and then you have fun. If you need anything, let Mads or myself know. Nice to have you aboard.