No Regrets, Just Love (The Hammel Babyverse)

[Cobalt Weaver]

Family

“Da-ad! We’re home!” Dani hollered through the house, her arms full of grocery bags. Cobalt followed her into the house, grinning despite himself. Ben was sitting on the couch, having just gotten home from work.

“Inside voice, baby.” Cobalt kissed Dani on the top of her head before setting his armload down.

Dani rolled her eyes. “Sorry. Dad! We got Christmas presents for Gramma and Grampa and the Other Uncles.” Cobalt felt a little badly that his seven-year-old daughter regarded Ben’s brothers and cousin Andrew as “the Other Uncles”. Especially because they played an equally large role in her life. She just managed to connect better with Cobalt’s “brothers” as it were. Probably because Eleanor was her best friend already, and she took especially well to Danny because they had the same name.

“Daddy?”

“Yes sweetie?” Cobalt called from the kitchen proper, putting away the groceries. It was always a convoluted game of Tetris to get everything in the refrigerator…

“How come we don’t shop for your mommy and daddy?”

Cobalt paused, abandoning his groceries to look into the living room. Dani looked up at him curiously from where she was perched on Ben’s lap. Ben himself gave Cobalt a worried glance. Had they really not talked about this yet? Were they going to talk about this when she was older?

Cobalt considered deflecting, but that would be stupid. He sat down on the couch next to Ben and thought about the most delicate way of phrasing this. In the end, he decided to go for broke:

“I don’t have a mommy and daddy, honey.”

Dani frowned, looking confused before her face cleared. “Ohh, do you have a Daddy and a Dad like me?”

“Ah, no.” Cobalt shrugged a little. “I mean I don’t have any of those at all.”

Dani looked confused. “But…but then where did you come from? I thought babies came from a mommy and a daddy unless they were us.” She was starting to sound distressed; Ben stroked her head soothingly.

“Uh.” Cobalt hedged. He could see her looking upset, as though the prospect of Cobalt not having parents as a child was personally affecting her now. “Well, I guess. I uh. When I was little, my parents didn’t—ah, they couldn’t keep me.” He supposed didn’t want me was sort of a bad way to put it. “So I grew up in an orphanage.”

She paled. “Like Annie? Did you have to scrub the floors?”

Cobalt sighed, wishing the Silverman-Adams-Jones clan hadn’t let her watch that stupid movie. “No, sweetie. I didn’t have to scrub the floors. People took care of me and nobody was that cruel.” But he could see tears forming in her eyes.

“But…but…” She choked out. “Who tucked you in? Who let you have cheese sandwiches when you were scared at night and didn’t wanna sleep? How come your daddy didn’t want you?”

It was an innocent question, asked because she was seven and oversimplified things in her mind. But Ben still shifted in his seat, reaching over to place a hand on Cobalt’s shoulder. Cobalt, however, held out his arms, and his sniffling daughter crawled from Ben’s lap to his, and wrapped her arms around him in an aggressive hug.

“It’s okay, Dani, I promise.” Cobalt soothed her, patting her back. “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not!” She sniffled. “Didn’t you feel sad? Weren’t you scared? You were all alone!”

“Hey, hey, shh…” Cobalt tilted her chin up and thumbed at her tears. “Do you know why you’re named after Uncle Danny?”

Dani considered this. “Because you like him best?”

Cobalt huffed out a laugh. “Not really. There are other types of family, aside from having a mommy and a daddy, or having any parents at all. Family is just having a lot of people who love you, right?”

She nodded. “Like how my Uncles aren’t your brothers for real?”

“Exactly.” Cobalt nodded. “We’re family anyways. You’re named after Uncle Danny because we knew each other when we were kids in the same place. We became our family first.”

Dani sniffled, wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve. “Didn’t it make you sad though?”

Cobalt sighed slightly, leaning forward to kiss Dani’s forehead. “Sometimes,” he confessed, “but I was loved and I was taken care of. And that’s important.” He maneuvered Dani to sit on his lap, leaning into the crook of his arm. “Now look at the family I have. It’s okay, sweetie.” Ben scooted closer to both of them, wrapping an arm around Cobalt’s shoulder and pressing a kiss to his head.

“But Uncle Danny got adocted.” Dani said thoughtfully. “How come Uncle Danny did and you didn’t?”

Cobalt thought about the best way to say this. And then changed his mind. “That’s just how it goes sometimes, kiddo.” He leaned into Ben’s side. “It happens.”

She didn’t look satisfied with that answer, but didn’t press further. Instead, she stood up and threw her arms around his neck. “Well, I love you, Daddy and I think you shoulda got adocted and people were stupid to not want you!”

Cobalt had to laugh, hugging her back. “Thank you sweetie, but it’s nobody’s fault.”

Dani, however, wasn’t listening. She scrambled off his lap and bounded out of the room. Bemused, Cobalt called, “where are you going, kiddo?”

“Gotta get some markers!” She came back with pink construction paper and purple and blue Crayola markers. “I’m gonna make Uncle Danny a card.”

Ben and Cobalt exchanged baffled glances. “What for?” Ben asked, curious.

“It’s a thank-you card.” Dani said. “For being Daddy’s first family.”

Cobalt managed to wait until Dani was engrossed in her thank-you card to step into the kitchen and laugh. Ben joined him after a moment, teary eyed with the effort of holding back his own amusement. The two shared a glance and started to laugh again.

-

The next day, Danny bemusedly opened an envelope that was decorated with childish scribbles and pink hearts. “What’s this?” He asked. Danny looked up at Cobalt, who was trying very hard not to laugh.

“Just open it!”

Danny opened the heavily decorated card. “It says thank you.” Danny looked down at Dani, who was grinning proudly. After a beat, he swooped down and picked her up, spinning her around. “What a surprise! You’re welcome! What are you thanking me for?”

Dani shrieked happily. “Because!” She laughed. “Because Daddy said you and Daddy didn’t have parents for a while and you were his first family!”

Danny looked over at Cobalt, who shrugged nonchalantly. The two exchanged an affectionate smile before Danny turned his attention back to Dani. “Well, thank you for giving me such a lovely card!” He hugged his pseudo-niece and goddaughter, glancing over at Cobalt with a quiet smile. “You’re very, very welcome.”

[Chuck Miller]

Goodnight

Sean wasn't feeling well.

Josh always helped at bedtime, but he wasn't sure that he was comfortable putting Eleanor to bed on his own. But as Sean was dealing with one of his headaches, the attorney was left alone with a toddler and vague knowledge of a routine.
He had already given her a bath and helped her brush her teeth -- or rather, he had put toothpaste on the toothbrush, and she had grabbed the brush out of his hand, proclaiming "hold it" and then proceeded to chew so much that her front was covered in drool. He had regretted not having her brush her teeth before the shower, but had gamely toweled her off, and then gone to find her pajamas.

Because it was the middle of the summer she wasn't wearing footie pajamas; instead she had a short sleeved top with a monkey, and polka dotted shorts. Eleanor helpfully lifted her arms when he put on the shirt, and then began to squeal "Pets, pets."

It took him a moment to realize she meant pants.

He scrutinized the polka dotted shorts, turning them over and over, trying to decide which was was up, before finally arriving at the conclusion that it must not matter. He held out the pants, and Eleanor giggled, trotting over to sit in his lap and sticking out one leg so that he could help her put them on.

Somehow, they didn't look quite right when he was finished.

He furrowed his brow at her, wondering if she'd had a growth spurt, because they seemed shorter than he remembered, but she had already run over to her bookshelf, holding out a board book (the edges destroyed by teeth and drool months ago). "Baby, baby!"

He accepted the book with a "Oh, do you want me to read to you?"

She nodded vigorously, once more climbing onto his lap. "Hug!" She ordered, and he wrapped both his arms around her waist and began to read.

"My tired little baby, do you need a kiss?"

Eleanor leaned down and kissed the baby illustrated in the book.

"Ten little kisses on teeny, tiny toes."

Eleanor pointed to her toes, then began to flip through the books, chanting "Toe, toe, toe."

Josh supposed that was the end of their reading session.

"Is it time to put animals in the crib?" He asked, and she climbed off his lap with an enthusiastic, "Yeah!"

This was the part of the bedtime ritual with which Josh was most familiar. Eleanor would grab one animal, telling Josh its name, or else making its noise (or, in the case of animals such as the bunny, saying "hop hop") and then, rising on tiptoes, she would hold the animal aloft, straining until she had pushed it over the edge of the crib. Then she would go fetch another one while Josh lined the chosen along the side of the crib.

When she was all finished she lifted up her arms, and he picked her up.

"Tiss?" She asked, thrusting out her cheek, and he obediently kissed her.

"Scratchy, scratchy," He replied, and she ran one little hand against his chin, giggling.

"Goodnight, Eleanor," He whispered, leaning down to place her in the crib, folding her treasured blanket up around her chin. She smiled, snuggling down among her animals as he crept across the floor, turning out the lights and shutting the babygate behind him.

"Goodnight."

((People *cough*Sean*cough* keep asking me for babyverse stories, so I stole from my real life because I'm not creative))

[Dr. Sean Neville]

That’s Me

Couples nights were date nights for Dani and Eleanor. When their parents got together for supper, coffee, and chatter, the girls were given money and use of the car, as long as they were back at the Neville-Bernstein residence by curfew. Then Dani would go home with her parents, and Eleanor would stay home with hers. They usually went in for a movie and then food afterwards, unless there was a street faire in the summer or they went ice skating in the winter.

Eleanor had been excited for the movie, more so than Dani had been. The movie was based on the Adventures of the Young Merlyn, a book series she had adored as a child. Unfortunately, the movie hadn’t been true to the books at all. They’d gotten the character of Merlyn all wrong, and the only good parts had been the special effects.

Dani had liked the special effects. But she was a dutiful friend, and so when they walked out with Eleanor shaking her head to herself, she’d nudged her with her shoulder. “We can make our own version,” she suggested. “”Uncle Danny can help us with the models, and we can use my Daddy’s video camera.”

“We’d need actors.”

“We have Car and Mischie. And Toby and Bernie.” Dani offered an encouraging smile. “We could do this. You could direct! And your cousin Ryan could help with the script; he’s a writer, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he writes.” Eleanor shook her head to herself again as they left the movie theater and walked down the street towards the restaurant district. “He’d probably be happy to help, but it isn’t the same. So many people are going to see this movie and think that this is what the books are like. It’s a shame.”

“We could go back and ask for our money back?” Dani suggested.

“They won’t give us our money back after sitting through the whole thing.” Eleanor shrugged. “Maybe I’ll just write them a letter.” Both her Papa and her Daddy wrote letters to companies or to the newspaper when they were dissatisfied. It might not accomplish anything, but it was a good way to get her feelings out if nothing else.

“At least dinner will be good.” That was as much encouragement as Dani could give.

Soon enough, they were at the little pizza place that they liked, even though Eleanor’s Papa sometimes complained that it wasn’t real New York style pizza. That didn’t bother them, since they didn’t live in New York, and it tasted good anyway.

Dani went to find a place to sit, while Eleanor ordered for them. A slice of pepperoni pizza and a Coke for Dani, a slice of tomato and basil pizza and an iced tea for Eleanor, and then an order of French fries and mozzarella sticks for them to share. The cashier wasn’t the one who usually worked on Saturday nights and flirted with all of the girls, so ordering didn’t take as long as usual.

In no time, they had their food, and Eleanor brought the trays over to the booth Dani had claimed. Eleanor talked a little bit about her favorite parts of the book series that the movie had glossed over or removed completely. Dani talked about fashion rules that bothered her and lamented how Eleanor was too tall to take the dresses that her family bought for her and which she never wore. Everything was fine until a familiar voice called out behind them.

“Hello ladies! What are we up to tonight?”

Eleanor rolled her eyes. Dani groaned audibly and resisted every impulse to haul around and slug him; it would save them both the time since he’d do something to upset them soon enough. But it would also get her and Eleanor thrown out of the pizzeria, and that was Dani’s only reason to keep her hands to herself. “Go away, Rhys.”

Instead, he tried to scoot into the booth next to Dani; the blonde girl didn’t let him shove her aside. Eleanor stared at him with that look of quiet disapproval she’d inherited from her Daddy.

“Is that any way to greet a friend?” He asked, feigning hurt. Unable to sit down, he leaned against the table and snatched a couple of French fries.

“Is Carwyn here?” Eleanor’s voice was deadpan, and she watched Rhys through steely blue eyes.

“Cute.” The boy shoveled the French fries into his mouth, but made a point of chewing and swallowing before talking. No other behavior would be tolerated by James Campbell. “Anyway, I wanted to see if you wanted to go clubbing tonight.”

“We can’t go clubbing. We’re under-age.” The club scene wasn’t exactly vibrant in Pilot Ridge, but it existed. The bouncers and bartenders didn’t let anyone in who was under eighteen, and at some places, twenty-one. They were serious about carding.

“Oh? So I guess you ladies don’t have IDs then.”

“What are you talking about, Rhys?” Dani asked, at the same time that Eleanor sighed again.

The boy held up a small manila envelope. “If you know the right people, you can get anything you want. I’ve got a ticket into any club in town. Any club in Vermont, really.”

Dani snatched the envelope out of his hand before he could move it away from her. The blonde tore it open, and dumped the contents onto the table. Out fell a small plastic rectangle. A light blue background with green lettering identified it as a Vermont driver’s license. It had Rhy’s picture and the birthdate did verify he was twenty-one. Then she burst out laughing.

“What? Jealous?”

Instead of answering him, Dani slid the license over to Eleanor. The brunette quickly scanned it and also started to laugh.

“What?” Rhys looked genuinely bewildered this time.

“Where’d you get this?”

“I’m not giving you my source,” Rhys answered huffily. “But it’s quality; I paid good money for it.”

“You might want to ask for your money back,” Eleanor said between laughs.

“Why?”

She handed his license back to him and tapped the name with her thumb.

“Well, I didn’t want to use my real name,” he said, rolling his eyes. If he used his real name, someone might recognize him that way and call his parents.

“You asked for that?” Dani asked, although she was laughing so hard that she squeaked.

Rhys finally glanced down and read the name listed on the license.

Torvus Butthorn.

Sonofa-

However, Rhys couldn’t lose his cool in front of other people, least of all Eleanor and Dani. So, he laughed too, playing it off as though he’d suggested this. “Like I said, I didn’t want to use my real name.”

Dani rolled her eyes this time. “Yeah, well, good luck with that.”

“You don’t think it’d work?”

“Only an idiot would think that’s a real ID,” Dani challenged.

“Your dads are visiting Ginny this weekend, aren’t they?” Eleanor asked.

“Yeah, so?”

“Nothing.” Eleanor shrugged. “You can do what you want, but we won’t be an audience.”

Rhys scoffed and grabbed another handful of French fries. “Whatever. If you ladies change your mind, I’ll be at the Distillery.” With that, he blew Dani a kiss, winked, and then left the pizzeria.

“He’s a jerk,” Dani said with a shake of her head. “And an idiot.”

Eleanor nodded in agreement, but she wore her thinking face. “We should probably go back to my house.”

“Curfew isn’t for another hour and a half!” Dani protested, glancing down at her watch; it used to belong to her Daddy until she’d claimed it as her own.

“Yeah, but this is worth it.”

“What are you planning?”

“Whenever Rhys’s dads go out of town, my Daddy promises to keep an eye on him.” Eleanor finished off her iced tea and then looked for a napkin to cover the remaining fries to take home.

Realization dawned on Dani, and she smiled wickedly. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

******************************

The drive to Eleanor’s house didn’t take that long, even with the typical Saturday night traffic (what constituted traffic in Pilot Ridge). After arriving home, they found their fathers all seated in the dining room drinking coffee and discussing politics. When the girls came in, they stopped their conversation and looked over.

“You’re back early,” Cobalt remarked with a slight frown. “Is everything okay?”

“Rhys came and pestered us at dinner,” Dani said.

“You should ignore him,” Ben replied. That was his standard advice regarding Rhys Campbell.

“We did,” Eleanor said. She crossed the room to give Daddy and Papa each a hug in turn. “Now he’s going to the Distillery to get drunk using the fake ID he bought.”

Sean raised his eyebrow at that news. “Is he now?”

Eleanor nodded affirmatively with a grin. Dani grinned as well, as she said, “That’s not the best part.”

“What’s the best part?” Cobalt asked.

“His fake ID says his name is Torvus Butthorn.”

Cobalt snickered, and Ben grinned. Josh held back a laugh. Sean, however, listened to that revelation with the same calm, impassive expression he adopted when listening to students complain in his office. “I see.” He pushed off from the table, rising slowly to his feet. “Since I doubt his fathers would forgive me if I let him break the law and get drunk while they’re gone, I should go retrieve him.”

Cobalt’s eyes lit up. “I’m coming with you.” Ben stood as well; he didn’t want to miss this.

Josh looked around at the other men. “I guess we’ll make it a field trip.”

**********************

Sean and Josh were no strangers to the club scene in Pilot Ridge. Although they’d cut back heavily on their drinking after Sean’s pregnancy, most people remembered them from before they became parents. More than that, they did still go out occasionally, and the Distillery was one of their haunts when they wanted to remain local. It was familiar enough that Sean was able to drive the four men there, at night, without checking directions. It was familiar enough that Josh was able to say hello to the bouncer and ask about his family without hesitation.

It was familiar enough that Sean was able to scan the club without his telepathy and zero in on Rhys. The boy had pulled his hoodie up over his head to hide his boyish looks, and he was hunched at a table near the bar with an empty beer glass in front of him, and another that was mostly empty.

It was possible to approach him quietly and drag him out without anyone noticing. But that wouldn’t teach him a lesson.

As such, the four men, led by Sean, went over to the bar. The telepath dropped a dollar in the tip jar and asked, loud enough to be overheard at the next table, but not so loud as to shout, “Have you seen Torvus Butthorn?”

“I’m sorry?” The bartender asked, looking up for a moment before going back to mixing cocktails.

“We’re looking for Torvus Butthorn,” Sean repeated. “Tall, solid build, brown hair and brown eyes...”

“It’s very important,” Cobalt added, trying to stifle his grin. “He told us he’d meet us here, but we can’t find him.”

Sean could overhear the bartender’s thoughts. That this had to be a joke, but at the same time, he was staring at a group of four senior citizens, and they didn’t engage in pranks. Then there was pity, because he worried that they’d all been misled by some twerp who got his jollies from humiliating the elderly. “I don’t think there’s anyone here by that name,” he said gently. Or anywhere.

None of the men looked deterred. Sean gestured subtly at the table where Rhys sat; he’d shrank down in his seat a bit since they’d engaged the bartender.

“Never mind!” Ben said brightly, walking over to the table. “I found him!” With that, the child psychologist slipped into the seat across from Rhys. Josh sat down beside him on one side, and Cobalt on the other.

A tall shadow covered the table, and Sean put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “It’s time to go home, Torvus.”

The boy looked positively terrified; he was surrounded and there was no escape. “I can drive myself.”

“You most certainly can’t.” Sean slipped one hand into the pocket of Rhy’s hoodie and pulled out the fake ID. He slid it over to Josh for safekeeping. “You’re coming with us. And if you vomit in my car, you can clean it up tomorrow morning.”

“What about my ID?”

“You can get it back on your twenty-first birthday.” With that, the telepath yanked on the boy’s shoulders, eventually getting him to stand. Rhys took a couple of steps and showed that he was already impaired. Lightweight.

Ben nudged him towards the door; as the youngest and fittest of the men, he was in the best condition to do so. A hand on the boy's shoulder kept him steady. “Say goodnight, Torvus.”

"Please, Ben, show some respect to Mister Butthorn," Cobalt said with a grin as they left the bar.

"Are you going to tell my dad?" Rhys asked, blanching at the thought. Upon reaching the car, Sean unlocked the doors, and Ben guided the boy into the backseat.

"That will depend on how well-behaved you are during this car ride," Sean informed him. Once they were all piled into the vehicle, he pulled out of the parking space, slowly, as he didn't want to upset anything. "And on whether our daughters feel like keeping your secret. So I hope you haven't done anything to upset them recently."

Rhys thought he was going to be sick.

[Levi Xu]

Overheard
((Please forgive this. It was written while I was drunk.))

Bernadette and Toby had never heard their dads really fight before.

Sure, every now and again there would be a hushed argument once they'd been tucked into bed, but Ba and Daddy had always kept their voices down, and everything would be fine in the morning. They usually couldn't even distinguish what the arguments were about. And sometimes, Ba would say something funny or crazy, and Dad would give him a look so he'd stop talking about it, at least in front of the twins. And then they wouldn't hear any more about Eleanor's dad being G-d.

So the two were really surprised to hear Ba and Daddy fighting downstairs. Not just arguing, but yelling. Or at least Ba was.

The twins had sneaked out of their rooms and sat on the landing at the top of the stairs. If their parents started heading upstairs, they could be in bed before they were seen. But this way, they could hear everything that was being said.

"What were you thinking? I don't want him anywhere near our kids!" Ba's voice was getting higher and more frustrated as the fight went on.

But Dad's voice was just as loud. "He's your Dad, Lev. And Nomi lets him be a part of Noah's life. You trust her judgement, don't you?"

"She was never disowned! We had to wait three years to get married because he wouldn't agree! Why do you want him anywhere near our family?"

"Because he's family too! They should know their Grandfather!"

Toby looked over at Bern, surprised. They knew Daddy's parents well. They even had a few vague memories of when they'd lived at Gramps and Grams's house with Uncle Jeff and Uncle David. And they knew that Ba's mother had died a long time ago, so long ago even he didn't remember her. But all they knew of their other grandfather was that their cousin Noah lived close to him and that Ba didn't like to talk about him.

"Look, Levi, he called me. I didn't go seeking him out."

"He called you because I keep hanging up on him. What if Bern and Toby are Meta too?"

Bern's hand found her brother's and squeezed tight. She wanted to be a Meta like Ba and Dad, and like all of their friends' parents. She wanted to be special and have powers. Even though Grams and Gramps and Uncle Jeff didn't, she knew that would make her special.

"He's reaching out to us. He wants to be part of their lives."

"So he can abandon them when they need him. They've got wonderful grandparents already. They don't need him messing with their heads."

"Levi, I know he hurt you..."

"He abandoned me."

"He's your dad."

"No, Van. He's my father. He hasn't been my dad for a decade."

Abandoned was a new word. Every time they'd had the idea to ask more about their grandfather, Ba had cut them off. And Dad said he didn't know too much about Ba's side of the family, since all he knew were Aunt Nomi and her husband Uncle Brian. Toby leaned over to his sister and whispered, "I thought Ba said his Ba worked too much to talk to us."

"It sounds like...like he hates Ba." Bern whispered back, surprised. Not all their friends' parents were happily married, but she couldn't think of anyone whose family hated them. "Maybe he hates us too."

Toby shook his head. "No, it sounds like he wants to meet us, and Dad wants him to. He wouldn't want to meet us if he hated us."

"Levi, you're not being fair."

"Fair would have meant being there when I was afraid you were going to die. Fair would have meant trying to meet them before they were eight. Fair is not disowning your son for falling in love."

"He said...."

"I don't need you excusing him."

"He said it wasn't just that. It was that you were a meta and part of that....group. And then when Mia showed those pictures...it was too much for him."

"He sent me away with them!"

"He didn't know who they were then any more than you did."

"He was ashamed of me. Now he doesn't get to be proud of our kids."

"Lev...."

"I'm done, Evan. I don't want him meeting them. Not now, not ever."

Toby and Bern scrambled back to their rooms when they heard Ba start walking towards the stairs. Even though their fathers had been loud, it was obvious that the argument was not supposed to be overheard. But now that they'd heard it, they couldn't get it out of their heads. The next morning, Toby gave Ba an extra-long hug. If his dad didn't love him, then his kids would take up the slack.

Bern wanted to know what Daddy had meant by "That group."

[Caleb Green]

More

Caleb was lying on the floor, a pillow under his lower back and his legs stretched up onto the couch, as he rubbed his swollen stomach. It was the only position he could truly get comfortable in for the last week or so. He would’ve slept this way if he weren’t opposed to not sharing a bed with his husband.

“Gremlin being troublesome again?” Elliot asked as he carried out a mug of tea and a special treat Cale had been craving. And the crinkle in his husband’s nose told Cale just how grossed out he was. But when he was handed the pickle skin filled with hot fudge, his mouth watered.

“Not really.” He said before biting into his treat. “Mmm, this is so good.” Cale smiled at Elliot in appreciation. “I was just thinking that I can’t believe it’s already been nine months. Do you think we’re ready?”

Elliot couldn’t help but snort at that. “You must be kidding? Have you seen the little Gremlin’s room? It’s a little bit ridiculous.” And they both knew it was true. They had a crib. Toys. Clothes. Luckily, a lot infant clothes were unisex, as they still didn’t know the sex after much whining on Cale’s part. And the room was decorated with a Winnie the Pooh theme. The car seat was already locked into place in their car. Had been for a few weeks now. They were very much ready.

Smiling, Cale nodded. “You’re right.” After finishing off his snack, licking his fingertips, he went back to rubbing his stomach affectionately. “Remember when we found out?”

Silently, Elliot thought to himself that this was a night for redundant questions. But he didn’t speak it. Despite everything, how happy they were and that they were having this opportunity, Elliot was really glad he wasn’t the pregnant one. “I don’t think that day will be one I’ll be forgetting anytime soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cale had been sick for a few days. He’d simply thought he’d had the flu. Rearranging his appointments or finding another physical therapist to take on his clients had been a bit difficult, but he’d managed. But when his symptoms continued for a week, that was when he decided to go to the doctor. They had ran some tests, took a few blood samples and said they’d call in about three days time.

Being nervous, he’d asked for his husband to come with him. It was arranged easily enough. They took the first appointment possible so that Elliot could even go back to work.

When the doctor came in, he smiled sympathetically. He went into a lot of detail. ‘We aren’t sure how this happens.’ ‘But you aren’t alone.’ ‘So far it’s only Pilot Ridge.’ ‘You have nothing to fear.’ Going through all of this before actually saying the word. Pregnant.

Elliot had sighed in frustration, wondering what kind of hospital it was exactly. Cale simply chuckled. ‘Sorry Doc, but uh you have the wrong file there... I think you’ll wanna check that again. I’m Caleb Green. And I’m a male.’

After listing off some of Caleb’s medical information to prove that he did, in fact, have the right file, both men just stared at the professional, utterly dumbfounded.

But he reassured both of them of things he’d already said, that everything would be ok. Caleb wasn’t in any danger.

It all went in one ear and out the other, still unable to wrap their minds around it.

Cale was the first to speak, after what felt like infinite silence. ‘How is this thing going to come out?’ His voice raised to a scared squeak at the thought of what might happen to his body.

It provided the doctor with a comically relief, taking a chance at chuckling. But Elliot’s face either read anger or annoyance or something else. Either way, it immediately made the doctor cover it as a coughing fit. ‘Well, you see, we’d have to perform a c-section. And what that is is-’

‘We’re not idiots. We know what a c-section is.’ Elliot said. Cale glanced at him, taking hold of his hand and squeezing gently.

Elliot continued badgering the doctor with a few questions. Mostly seeking specifics, how far along he was, what they should be doing, etc. etc. It was why they were perfect for each other. In moments when Cale freaked out, Elliot took over the reigns. And just the opposite was true too.


“You were… A little worked up that day.” Cale said, resting his hand on Elliot’s knee as his husband lowered himself from the couch to the floor next to him.

Elliot shrugged his shoulder as if to say ‘of course I was’. “Well, at first I just thought it was a bad hospital getting charts mixed up. And then he laughed at you. He was horribly unprofessional. We were confused and scared. And he laughed. That’s unacceptable. I should’ve reported his behavior to his boss or somebody.”

Cale couldn’t help but to smile, feeling a warmth at Elliot’s protectiveness. “You’re just a big ol’ mama bear.” He chuckled and gave the other man’s knee a squeeze. The only response he got received was an eye roll and a tiny smile that Elliot tried to hide by sipping his tea.

They sat there, in comfortable silence, then. Cale stroking his thumb along Elliot’s knee, Elliot’s hand resting on top of Cale’s swollen stomach, both relaxed and comforted by the other’s company. Though, at the beginning, when they’d first found out, it hadn’t been that way.


Cale had known immediately that he wanted to keep the baby. But he wasn’t sure where Elliot’s mind was at. And he was afraid of the answer, so he didn’t ask.

They had only just married three months before. And they obviously hadn’t planned for this to happen, didn’t even know it was possible.. And they hadn’t spoken too in depth about children. Nothing more than ‘one day’ and ‘when we’re ready’.

But after finding out, Cale had left an immediate connection to the alien growing inside him. What if Elliot didn’t want it though? What if the idea scared him more than excited him? In his fear of what Elliot might be thinking, he found ways of avoiding the subject.

Spending more and more time at the hospital tired him out. And he was already tired. Being pregnant was the most physically draining thing he’d ever experienced.

It wasn’t until Elliot expressed his concern that they finally talked out it. “Caleb, you shouldn’t be working so much. Not in your condition. You need to take it easy.” This was said after he’d been woken from what was supposed to be a midday nap before dinner, but had lasted well passed.

“I’m just… drained.” Cale smiled at Elliot, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

Frowning, Elliot was the first to broach the subject. “What do you need?”

Cale knew he was taking his husband’s question out of context, but it was what he needed most. Because more than being physically tired, he was tired of avoiding the man he married and the subject. “I need to know where your mind is at? On this, I mean.” He said as he gestured to his stomach.

“I think… It’ll be… difficult. It’s a surprise. But we can handle it. I’m sure of it.” Elliot smiled, reassuringly. “Don’t you think we can, Jitterbug?”

Flooded with relief, Cale smiled genuinely now. “So you want to do this? You want to keep… it then? And raise… it?”

Elliot’s face scrunched in understanding as Cale all but admitted to what he had been thinking. “You thought I wouldn’t want to keep our baby?”

“No. I just… wasn’t sure. I mean it’s pretty unusual. I thought maybe you might be freaked out a bit.” Caleb downcast his eyes, feeling guilty for having thought such a thing at all.

“I might be freaked out, but I still want it.” Elliot laid his hand on Cale’s still relatively flat stomach to emphasis his point.

Now it was Cale’s turn for his face to scrunch. “We really need to find something to call him or her other than ‘it’. I don’t like that.”

Chuckling quietly at his husband’s immediate subject change, Elliot nodded. “Ok. We’ll come up with something.”


Smiling, Cale took Elliot’s hand from his stomach and gave it a little kiss. The younger of the two raised his eyebrow in question, a smile sat on his lips, and asked. “What was that for?”

“You’ve just been really great. Through all of this. Thank you. I’m not sure I’d take it in such great stride as you have-”

“Yes you would.” Elliot interjected before Caleb could continue.

“Well, thank you. Still though. I know I haven’t been the easiest to get along with this whole time.” And it was true. Caleb had gone through more emotions than he even knew existed.


Elliot had come home to the sounds of whimpers. At first, it had confused him. It was so out of place in their home. But it took only a moment before he dropped his bag and dashed to the bedroom, finding a tearful Caleb clutching the phone and curled on their bed.

“Jitterbug.” He said in a voice he tried to make as soothing as possible. “What’s wrong?” Laying beside Caleb, Elliot wrapped his arms around the other man, giving him a light squeeze.

It took a few minutes before Caleb could answer, trying to even out his breathing so he’d be understood. “One of my patients. S-s-she’s gotten a new t-therapissst.”

Knowing that mood swings were natural, not because of common knowledge but because he’d read many pregnancy books, Elliot stroked Caleb’s hair away the way he knew his husband liked and kept his voice as soothing as possible. “Aw Jitterbug. I’m sorry. Maybe it’s a good thing though. You’ll have more free time now.”

“You don’t think I’m any good at my job, do you?” Caleb accused angrily as he pushed the hand away from his hair.

“That’s not at all true, Caleb. I know you’re wonderful at it.” Elliot didn’t dare return his hand to stroking Cale’s hair, trying to defuse the situation.

“Well then why is so good I lost a patient today? Hm? Because you think I can’t actually help them?” In a huff, Caleb rolled over, laying on his other side and looking away from Elliot.

“Cale, I simply meant you could relax more take more time for yourself. Maybe get an extra nap in since you’re tired all the time. I know you take good care of your patients. I’m sorry. I should’ve phrased it differently.” Elliot rested a hand on his husband’s shoulder, trying to show just how apologetic he was and that he was still there. And when the shoulders relaxed, stopped hunching over, Elliot figured he’d been forgiven, framed Cale’s back with his body, and stroked his hair again.


“Yes well, I prefer the crazy times to your declarations of being a scared vessel.” Elliot couldn’t help but snort at the memory. And was grateful that behavior had only last two days. It had been rather ridiculous.

Able to laugh at his past behavior, Cale shrugged. “Hey, as long as Gremlin is still cooking, as far as I’m concerned, I am a sacred vessel.”

Elliot rolled his eyes again. “Whatever you say, Jitterbug. Let’s just not have a repeat performance, okay?”

“I don’t know. I liked being served chocolate covered strawberries in bed.” Caleb chuckled.

“Cale. It’s winter. You specified fresh strawberries.”

“How’d you manage that by the way?”

“I didn’t. They were frozen. I just told you they were fresh. You were too hungry to question it.”

“Hey, we had a deal. No more lies. That rule was made on date three.”

“Me spending the night because I was hungover so you could take care of me was not a date.” Elliot stated for the umpteenth time. “And by the way, the sheets and comforter were nearly impossible to get the stains out of.”

It started that night. They’d gone to bed early, as was their usual routine recently. But Cale was having a difficult time staying asleep. He’d wake feeling a sharp pressure, take a deep breath, rub his stomach, then fall back to sleep. It wasn’t until the fourth time he’d woken that he thought something might be off. The deep breathing and stomach rubbing were no longer offering him relief. Getting out of bed, he began to pace around the bedroom.

Elliot, having woken along with Cale every time he’d woken before because it took a bit of effort on Cale’s part to turn over, was woken once again when his husband climbed out of bed. “Caleb?” He asked tiredly.

“Babe. I think it’s time.” The high pitch in his voice spoke to his nervousness.

Having been mid-eye rub, Elliot’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “Ok. Well… Then lets go.” Elliot braced one hand at Caleb’s back and led him to the door, grabbing the car keys and the bag that both had a place right next to it for this exact reason.

It took a little while, after getting to the hospital, to get everything ready. Prepare an operating room, let Cale’s drugs settle in his system, walk them through the procedure. It was difficult to wait. They were both on edge and impatient. The only time they had to be separated was when Elliot had to put scrubs on. Cale’s drugs had settled, but he still panicked at the sight of his husband’s retreating back.

“Nooo. Elliot. I need you ta stay.” Cale tried to whine. But his words were drawn out and thick.

But, Elliot came back, stroking his husband’s hair. “I’ll be right back Jitterbug. Don’t worry. I just need to put scrubs on so I can be in the room with you. It’ll only be a minute. Promise.” And he gave Cale’s forehead a kiss, then walked away again.

When they were reunited, Cale was already in the operating room and there was stool by his head waiting for Elliot. “See? I didn’t miss a thing.” He said, taking Caleb’s hand in his, then kissing his fingers.

Turning his head to look at Elliot, Caleb smiled in a loopy-drugged way. “You look so pretty Elliot. Can we take ‘ome scrubs home for ya?”

Elliot chuckled quietly and nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. Just relax for right now.”

“It feels funny. This is what it feels like when aliens take people and do stuff to them I think. Wha’s it look like?”

“Um…” Elliot was hesitant to look, knowing the image of his husband open on a table would stay with him forever. But, he’d asked.

Luckily, he’d only just begun to lift off his seat, neck craned to peek, when Cale attempted to flail his arm, more making it look like a fish out of water in slow motion. “Don’ look Elliot. Don’. I don’ wan ya seein’.”

“Ok, ok, I won’t.” Elliot stroked Caleb’s hair, soothing him back to contentment. “Just a bit longer. You’re doing so great, Jitterbug.”

Back in the room, Elliot sat in a cushioned rocking chair, holding their baby close, while Caleb laid in the bed, sleeping. He had managed to stay awake just long enough to be assure that she, yes, that’s right, she, was in perfect health. But when the baby began making cooing sounds, Caleb’s eyes tiredly opened and found his family sitting to his right.

“Morning.” Cale said, his voice thick with sleep, as he rubbed at his face and tried to sit up. But he was still in too much pain, so he stayed curled on his side, watching his husband and baby.

“Technically, it’s afternoon. But you’re still out of it, so it’s understandable.” Careful as to not jostle the baby too much, Elliot leaned toward Cale, giving him a soft kiss and smiling as he pulled away. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” When Elliot raised his eyebrow in obvious doubt, Cale smiled sheepishly. “Achy. Tired. Like I shouldn’t move. But I will be fine.” Slowly and carefully, he moved, only enough to look better at the two he loved most. “How’s she’s doing?”

Elliot’s smile grew tenfold when the conversation turned to their baby. “She’s perfect.” He scooted the chair closer to Cale, resting his arms on the bed beside him, but not handing the baby over. He wasn’t quite ready to not be holding her yet. Cale didn’t mind though. He wanted to wait ‘til he had more strength to hold her, fearing what might happen. “She has your nose.”

“She has your eyes.” Cale said, smiling as he gently stroked their daughter’s cheek. “I think those are your mom’s cheek bones.” Both of them felt oddly whole. It’s not as if their life had been lacking before, not at all. But now it just seemed… More. “Did you send her a picture? My mom too?”

Elliot nodded. “Mmhmm. After she was brought back in. I thought I’d let them clean her up a bit first.” It was a time like this, hunched over an infant and leaning on a bed, that all his years of horrible posture came in handy. He could literally stay like this for hours. “We still have to name her.”

“Really? Because I was kind of hoping we could just stick with Gremlin for the rest of her life. Can’t we just do that?” He was kidding of course, mostly just looking to get a reaction out of Elliot.

“Caleb Michael Morrow-Green. We are not naming our daughter Gremlin.” Elliot managed to pull his eyes away from Gremlin just long enough to stare hard at Cale, emphasizing his point. “I…. was actually thinking… maybe something… Irish?” Elliot felt a little guilty suggesting it, felt like maybe he was asking too much? After all, Caleb wasn’t Irish.

But Cale’s face immediately broke into a bigger smile and he nodded. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. You’ll have to list a few for me. I don’t know many off the top of my head.”

“We could go traditional Irish. Something like… Alma.”

Caleb wrinkled his nose slightly. “Babe, she’s not eighty.”

Chuckling, Elliot nodded. “Or Aislinn.”

“Maybe. It’s better than Alma. More please?”

“There’s… also Roisin?”

“Anything a bit more… Normal? But not too normal. I don’t want something like Mary. But not like we made up a name.”

“My, my isn’t somebody a name snob.” Elliot said with a chuckle.

“Well, I think it should fit with our names. Elliot and Caleb aren’t exactly names you hear everywhere, but they aren’t ridiculous.” He defended his pickiness, not bothering to stop looking at the little girl.

“I suppose that makes some kind of sense.” Taking his time, Elliot mentally ran through a few girl names he knew without a doubt to be Irish. Finally, he came to one that he thought would work. “How about McKenna?”

For a moment, Elliot thought it was going to be rejected again. Cale’s face showed no sign of anything. It actually almost seemed as if maybe Caleb hadn’t actually heard him. But after a moment, he smiled and leaned closer to Elliot, giving him a kiss. “It’s perfect. She even looks a McKenna.”

Elliot look back at the baby, staring at her long as hard. He realized Cale was right. “She does look like a McKenna. Caleb, Elliot, and McKenna. I think it fits.”

“We still get to call her Gremlin though, right?”

Chuckling, Elliot nodded and kissed his husband’s cheek. “Yes, we can still call her Gremlin.”

[Damien Tremblay]

Muppets

When Damien had first started feeling ill, he’d chalked it up to one of two things. Either food poisoning, or a mild stomach bug. Whatever it was, it came and went in little waves, but it wasn’t intolerable. What was closer to intolerable was Josef’s constant fussing over him. Even though it was closer, it still wasn’t awful. It was nice to be looked after, even if things got a touch overbearing now and again...

“How are you feeling this morning?” Damien blinked against his pillow, resigning himself to the morning. Of course Josef was already up. At least it was the weekend, so he didn’t have to deal with work and his coworkers on top of Josef’s nursing.

“M’ fine,” he mumbled, pressing the heel of his hand to his face as he woke himself up. “I think the worst is over.” Which he was thankful for, given that Josef would have probably suggested the doctor (again) if he was still feeling sick today. Damien peered up at his partner through parted fingers before removing his hand entirely. He could read the ever present concern on Josef’s face, though it quickly morphed back into his trademark calm smile.

“Good. I was really starting to worry.” Damien resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead choosing to sit up and throw the blankets off.

“Stop worrying,” he murmured softly before giving Josef a tiny kiss. Josef shook his head, but smiled despite his thinly veiled concern.

“I’ll try,” he said quietly before turning away to shower. He’d already gone for a run, letting Damien sleep for as long as he needed to. He really did hope that whatever had been plaguing his partner had run its’ course. He hated seeing him sick.

Damien pulled on a black t-shirt that was probably Josef’s, being that it hung a little looser than his own normally did, and retied the drawstring on his pajama pants before heading downstairs. He was absolutely starving, and figured he’d start on breakfast for the both of them. After standing staring at the fridge for inspiration for a moment, he pulled out the carton of eggs. He had no idea what was motivating his choice, being that he didn’t even like eggs. But he wanted them.

Josef came trotting down the stairs clad just in a pair of old jeans, his towel around his neck, surprised by the smells coming from the kitchen. He caught sight of Damien at the stove, pushing scrambled eggs around a pan in a slow, almost tentative way. Josef stole up behind him and gently wrapped his arms around his partner’s waist. Damien smiled and paused in his cooking as Josef nuzzled a light kiss against his shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly as Josef pulled back.

“Hi.” He cocked his head to the side slightly. “What are you doing?”

“Breakfast,” Damien replied with a casual shrug.

“Eggs?” Now Josef was confused. “You don’t like eggs.”

“Nope. But I want them.” Josef arched an eyebrow. Damien’s fondness for eggs usually started and ended with stealing a microscopic piece from Josef, if he had them, and making a face before swearing them off again. This made no sense whatsoever.

“O…kay?” In the most nonchalant and subtle way he could, Josef managed to get his hand close enough to touch Damien’s forehead. … Okay, no fever. Damien smiled, despite his exasperation.

“Do I pass?” Josef stepped away, looking sheepish.

“Yes. I just don’t understand.” Uncertainty flickered across Damien’s face.

“I don’t really, either.”

It wasn’t until Damien happened to overhear a conversation at work that he even had a straw to grasp at.

~

“Yeah, he just called me up last night, crying. I couldn’t tell if he was actually upset, or so happy he was crying. But I know what I heard. Riley’s… pregnant.” Janice crossed her arms and paced up and down Josh’s office. “You think it’s some power gone haywire? I mean, how can this happen?”

“I don’t know,” Josh admitted. “But Sean said the same thing last night. I don’t understand either, but whatever has caused this… I’m happy about it. Concerned, but happy.” Janice sighed and leaned against the desk.

“I heard rumors that Cobalt might be too. Jesus, Josh. Who else do you think this happened to?” Josh cleared his throat and loosened his tie a bit.

“Well… Sean mentioned that a friend of his at the school is also pregnant. And several of the male students…”

Damien stepped quietly to his office, making himself visible again as he got to his desk. Had he really heard right? Sean, Riley, both… no. There was no way he had heard right. It was some sort of ridiculous… prank? No, it couldn’t be. He sighed and fired up his computer, trying to distract himself from what he had just heard. It couldn’t be true, because men didn’t get pregnant.

… But what if Janice was right? What if it was some meta power gone berserk? He had no idea what that would even mean. For everyone’s sake, he hoped that wasn’t true. He knew Sean wanted a family, and if this was how it was going to come true for him, he didn’t want anything to ruin that. ... Was he even believing this?

“Damien?” The law clerk jumped at the sound of his name. Josh was at the door, looking somewhat sheepish. “Do you have a moment?”

“Uh. Sure.” Damien quickly swiped his desk clear of folders and gestured to the chairs not often used by his desk. “What’s wrong?” He was used to having Josh come in to go over cases, and what he needed for them. But his expression didn’t match that sort of mood. He looked more… worried? Josh came in and pushed the door halfway closed.

“Nothing is wrong, per se,” he said calmly. “I just...” For being brilliant in court, Josh always found himself tripping over words in his own social interactions. Especially with such a… delicate subject. Josh eased himself into the seat and folded his hands in his lap. “I wanted to let you know that something odd is happening in Pilot Ridge. There are, um, several cases involving what appears to be male pregnancy.” Damien just stared at him. So he hadn’t misheard. Josh cleared his throat and continued. “Sean confirmed it yesterday, and several students at Hammel also appear to be pregnant. Riley, too. Um.” He twisted his hands in his lap before meeting Damien’s eyes. “I just thought you should be aware. You, and, um, Josef.” There, he’d said it. Damien swallowed and looked down at his lap.

“Thank you, Josh. That’s… it’s good to know.” And perhaps explained a few things. Now it was his turn to look uncertain. Josh frowned slightly.

“Are you all right?” Something crossed his mind then. “Are you still ill?” He knew Damien had been sick towards the tail end of the previous week. Damien shook his head.

“No, I don’t think so.” Though he was reconsidering that, with what was going through his mind. “I’m just thinking.” Josh had one guess why. He reached out and let his hand linger on the desk.

“If you need some personal time, we understand. If there’s any concern, please, I insist you take the time off to explore that. And if you or Josef are… with child, we can sort something out. Promise.” Josh managed a reassuring smile before getting up and moving to leave. Damien toyed with a button on his sleeve and nodded before logging into his computer.

It was just over an hour before he gave in to concern. Josh was understanding, though Janice had given him a knowing grin he’d tried to ignore.

Just an hour later, he had his answer. Not only that, but he had a blurry sonogram printout confirming it. He didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to tell Josef? ‘Oh hey, guess what, I went to the doctor like you kept saying I should, and I’m not sick, I’m pregnant?’ Right. That was not going to happen. He sighed anxiously and leaned against the wall of his office building. His fingers dug in his pocket until he found his lighter, but all he could do was just hold it. Damn. He couldn’t smoke this feeling away.

What was he going to do?

He managed to dodge a call from Josef, and even avoided Janice for the rest of the day. He threw himself into case research with his door closed, and sent a short email to Josh explaining the situation, requesting that it stay as quiet as possible for the time being. He needed time to think and figure it out, not to mention how to tell Josef. He also had to figure out a way to get through it all without picking up his cigarettes, because there was no way he was going to hurt his… no, their… baby. From now on, no drinking, no coffee, and absolutely no smoking. He could handle that, right? Well, he’d have to. He had no choice.

When it was finally time to head home, Damien took his time. Why, he wasn’t sure. Josef was teaching classes late tonight, which meant he would be alone for a while. He would have time to gather his thoughts, and figure out some kind of plan. With that in mind, Damien moved the tiniest bit faster. He still had to feed the pets, and if Charlie had to wait an extra ten minutes, he would be one cranky animal.

As soon as he walked in the door, Gypsy and Neil Patrick Harris (he still disagreed with the name) greeted him with happy wags and whines, while Charlie sat in the hall near the kitchen with a cool stare on his little face. Damien sighed and kicked off his shoes before heading in to feed everyone. His things were dropped on the kitchen counter, and food was doled out for each pet. The dogs were thrilled, though Charlie took some convincing before he actually took to his dish.

Now the house was relatively peaceful, Damien went upstairs and pulled off his tie, throwing it on the bed. He wanted to shower and change before starting dinner, but he really didn’t have the energy. The day had been surprisingly exhausting. He settled for undoing the top two buttons of his shirt and went back downstairs. He had no idea what he wanted for dinner, and was half tempted to ask Josef to pick up pizza on his way home. ... No, that would probably tip him off that something was off. Damien sighed and slunk into the kitchen. The pets were just finishing the last of their own dinners. Still uninspired, the law clerk stared into the fridge before deciding to be lazy. Spaghetti was probably the easiest thing in the universe to make, and the sauce would take long enough to heat that everything would still be vaguely warm when Josef got home. He set to work, all the while wracking his brain for a way to breach the subject with his partner.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to.

“Damien?” Josef’s voice carried from the front entrance. Damien pushed himself up on the couch and peeked over the back of it. Had he really dozed off? A glance at the clock on the wall confirmed that yes, he had. Good thing he’d dropped all the things for the spaghetti sauce in the slow cooker, rather than on the stove.

“Hey.” Josef looked... not himself. Damien frowned and slid off the couch. “What’s wrong?” Josef hung up his coat before looking at his partner in a way that said he was most definitely not okay.

“I talked to Ben today.” He shook his head, still unsure that he had heard him correctly. “He said that Cobalt’s pregnant.” Damien twitched, then went slightly pale. This was how he was reacting to a friend’s partner’s pregnancy? This did not bode well. “I didn’t want to believe him at first, but the more he said...” Another head shake. “It isn’t possible.” He was still half convinced that Ben was pulling some sort of twisted prank.

“Actually...” Damien inhaled slowly before peering up at Josef through his messy hair. “Josh told me today that Sean was confirmed to be pregnant the other day. And, uh, Riley too.” He bit his lip before lowering his voice to barely above a whisper. “And... um... me.”

Josef fixed him with a look before laughing. Maybe Ben had roped him in on the joke too. “Oh come on, Damien. Did Ben make you get in on the joke too?” Damien continued to stare at him, mutely shaking his head for a moment.

“It isn’t a joke, Josef.” He didn’t know if he wished it was or not. Damien swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment. “Remember you kept telling me I should go to the doctor when I was sick…?” Why was this so hard? He suddenly felt for every woman who had ever had to go through an unexpected pregnancy. “I went today.” His voice was getting softer, less sure. Josef stopped laughing long enough to actually study his partner. He looked so serious, and… hurt?

“Wait. Are you… are you serious?” It was Josef’s turn to stare and blink. It had been weird enough to hear it from Ben. But from Damien? Yes, he was fun, and joked around. But this was… a little too far-fetched to be a joke.

“Yes.” Damien’s voice was barely above a whisper now. “They did a test, and…” His gaze flickered to the kitchen, where he knew he’d dropped the fuzzy scan. “A scan.” He couldn’t bring himself to meet Josef’s eyes. Why was this so hard?

Oh. Right. Because neither of them had thought it was remotely possible.

Finally, Damien peeked up at Josef. He’d been quiet for a few moments. Josef caught the look and shook his head. “I think I need a minute.” With that, he moved away from the door and parked himself on the couch. Damien watched him hunch his shoulders and clasp his hands in front of him. He knew that position. He didn’t see it often, but it told him exactly how stressed his partner was feeling at the moment. Knowing he was the cause of it made Damien shift nervously. As if sensing their master’s uneasiness, Gypsy and Patrick came walking over and nuzzling at his hands. Damien stroked both of their heads, wishing Josef was as easy to comfort. He didn’t know what to do, and he didn’t want to slip upstairs to call Josh to find out how Sean had told him.

So, he did what he thought was the next best thing. With a final rub to each dog’s ears, he went into the kitchen and retrieved the scan picture. The dogs padded after him, tails wafting softly. Damien sighed deeply, fingers rubbing across the tiny little blip. Steeling what few nerves he had, he clenched the picture and returned to the living room. Josef was still hunched over, staring at the floor. He slipped beside him, placing his free hand on top of one of Josef’s. With the other, he simply offered out the scan. Josef took a moment, but he finally seemed to come out of his trance and took the paper. He studied it carefully, before putting his fingers on the little circled blob. A soft, muttered curse in German left his lips as he traced it, over and over again. Beside him, Damien remained quiet. He knew Josef would talk to him eventually. Once the shock had worn off. … If it would wear off. He didn’t know what could be considered a normal period of shock for this sort of thing.

After what felt like eternity, Josef finally placed the picture on the coffee table. “This is really happening, isn’t it?” Damien bit his lip and nodded. Now it was sinking in, the notion of being a father was settling over him.

“Yeah. It is.” Finally, Josef’s lips twitched into the slightest shadow of a smile before he pulled his partner into a firm hug. Damien sighed in relief and hugged back, closing his eyes and burying his face in Josef’s neck. Things were going to be okay.

~

For the next few weeks, as the idea of having a baby really settled between the two of them, things seemed to flow into a routine. Namely, Josef took to overdrive mode when it came to subtly nursing. The first thing Damien noticed was that his cigarettes and lighter had mysteriously vanished. While it was nice to have the temptation out of reach, it was also a reminder of the lengths he knew his partner could go when it came to being protective. Not only that, but all the alcohol they’d had in the fridge also vanished, and Josef had moved the coffee out of temptation’s way. Not that Damien was particularly bothered about that one. The only inclination he had to wanting it now was simply born of the childish ‘I can’t have it, now I want it’ theory.

He just placated himself with tea.

Josef had called purging the house of contraband ‘moral support’ when Damien had tried to protest the lack of beer and coffee. Mostly for Josef’s sake. But his partner had adhered to the moral support theory, and assured him that he would be fine. Really, if he was that hard done by, he could get coffee on the way to work.

He’d just mourn the beer a little.

Though it had taken Josef a little longer to wrap his mind around things, he was genuinely happy. He’d given up on the idea of having kids so long ago that, while this had been a shock, it was far from unwelcome now. He had even taken to looking over the books Damien continued to bring home with him. Of course, all the information was geared more towards women, but he read them anyway. Particularly the chapters geared more towards husbands, and tried to take the tips on being supportive to heart. There was a difference between being supportive and caring versus overbearing, and while he was well aware he tended to toe that line, he was trying hard to rein in his impulses.

He was reading just such a chapter in bed one morning. The house was surprisingly peaceful. The dogs were both curled in their beds, Charlie was sprawled at the end of the bed, and Damien was still asleep. Though he knew his partner wasn’t as much a morning person as he was, he’d noticed he’d been sleeping more as his pregnancy wore on. Not that he minded much. The morning was peaceful, and Josef was content to spend a little bit of it in bed with... well, with his family. The pets, Damien, and their baby.

The rustling of the pages roused Damien slightly. After a little stretch, he shifted closer to Josef and peeked up at him. “What are you doing?”

“Reading,” Josef answered quietly, smiling at him. He didn’t have to tell Damien the title, because he was sure he could recognize it anyway. He’d read through them at ridiculous speeds.

“Learning anything?” Damien couldn’t help it. He was still stupidly giddy over the whole thing. The shock had more than worn off, giving him lots of time to stop being afraid and start being happy. While he was still afraid, to a degree, he wasn’t about to stress Josef out any more than he already was about it. He just kept it to himself, keeping Josef as sane as possible. The corner of Josef’s mouth twitched up in the smallest smirk.

“I’m learning that it’s very difficult to learn about children when you’re talking to me.” And as if that wasn’t enough, Charlie got up and stretched before sauntering up closer to his masters. Damien grinned and reached out to scratch the little cat’s chin.

“Aside from that? Anything interesting?” Josef shrugged and ran a finger down Charlie’s tail.

“A little.” He set the book down on the floor and shifted so that he could actually look at his partner. “Most of it seems to be geared towards focusing on you.” Damien watched Josef carefully for a moment before biting his lip. Josef arched an eyebrow, well accustomed to this habit. He knew Damien wanted to say something, and that it was potentially sarcastic. He just waited for him to make up his mind.

“And not how to be crazy protective?” Damien finally said with a little grin, one arm slung across his stomach. Josef rolled his eyes.

“No, that is a skill I didn’t need to learn from a book.” Almost absently, he reached over to twist his fingers in his partner’s hair. Damien smiled and leaned into the touch, the same way Charlie or the dogs did. This was actually quite relaxing, spending a lazy morning in bed. And that was what Josef kept saying he needed to do. Relax. It was an easy task today.

“It’s okay,” Damien said quietly, nuzzling a little closer. “I don’t mind it.” Not a lot, really. Sometimes it was a little out of control, but Josef seemed to be learning and tapering it off. They were finally finding balance in their unique situation.

Josef continued to twist his fingers around Damien’s curls, quiet for a moment. Before he had even picked up the book, he had been lost in thought as he’d watched Damien sleep. Lots of things had come and gone during that time. Mulling names, thinking about their family. Thinking about binding that family permanently. He couldn’t lie. The thought terrified him, going through that again. Sure, he and Damien had talked things over before. The other man knew he carried baggage because of William, and he’d always just... made it seem so normal. Granted, Josef knew Damien had a few scars too. But they were good for each other. Even now, when Josef could have been panicking about other things, Damien’s presence was almost calming. Of course, at the moment he was also a major source of stress, but that wasn’t his fault.

“You’re quiet,” Damien mumbled, his eyes closed now. Josef had honestly thought he’d gone back to sleep.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” A little smile flickered across the older man’s face.

“You. The little muppet.” Damien blinked, opening his eyes and looking up at Josef in confusion.

“Little muppet?” Josef nodded before carding his fingers through Damien’s hair again.

“Yes. Because you’re my muppet.” Damien laughed and inched closer, until he was able to slide his arms around Josef.

“You’re ridiculous.” Still, if he wanted to call him that, he didn’t care. Josef was just glad his partner had been distracted by the nickname he’d had for him (privately) for a while, now. The talk of marriage still weighed heavily on his shoulders, and he didn’t think he was quite ready. For now, he was content to just stay in bed with Damien and try not to worry too much.

~

“Damien, I’m really sorry. Terrowin called in sick and I have to cover his class. Is there any way you can reschedule the appointment? Things like this were always happening to Josef. He’d really, really wanted to attend the appointment. Mostly so he could badger the hell out of the doctor and ask questions, but also because Damien had promised they were doing another scan. Now he was starting to show more, Josef was curious as to what the tiny blip looked like now.

“No, I can’t Josef. Can you just... I don’t know. Text me what you wanted to ask, or something?” Damien had wanted him there too, but things were just not working out for them. Not to mention work was stressing him out. Josh and Janice had had an influx of cases, and even with Niko’s help, Damien felt like he was drowning in research requests and paperwork. On the other end of the line, Josef heaved a sigh.

“It’s fine. Just promise you’ll bring home the scan pictures?” Damien rolled his eyes.

“Of course I will. ... Don’t take your frustration out on your classes, okay?” There was something that sounded vaguely like a confirmation on the other side. Damien smiled slightly. “Josef? I love you. I’ll call you afterwards, okay?”

“Love you too.” That was all he got before they hung up. Damien sighed and rested a hand on his stomach. “Guess it’s just you and me, then, kiddo.” He had taken to talking to their baby, mostly when Josef wasn’t around. His partner was used to him talking to the animals like a crazy person, but this was a whole new level of crazy.

He waited another ten minutes before actually getting up and grabbing his jacket to leave the office. Though he was a little disappointed that Josef would be unable to make it, that didn’t change that he was excited to see their baby again. From what he understood, they would actually be able to start making out specific structures, and, if they were lucky, the gender. Not that either of them had a particular desire for one over the other. It would just be nice to know, to start narrowing down names and doing something more specific with the room they had designated as the nursery.

Damien didn’t particularly enjoy driving to the hospital on his own, but he sucked it up by thinking about how he would feel on his way back. He’d know that their baby was growing fine, and possibly a bit more about what they were like. That alone made him grin. He’d finally be able to tell Josef if they were going to be expecting a little boy or girl to arrive.

He checked in with the receptionist before settling in a chair near the door. It had become second nature to ignore the looks others gave him. It was probably common knowledge by now that there were pregnant men all over Pilot Ridge, but that didn’t seem to matter much. He still got looked at now and again, and he was well aware it would only get worse from here on out. That was another reason Damien had hoped Josef could make it. He was fairly certain that anyone caught looking at him in an odd manner would get a look.

Damien entertained himself for a few minutes by playing Sudoku on his phone. It wasn’t particularly engaging, but it did keep his mind vaguely occupied during the wait. It also kept his attention down, so as to avoid looking at anyone. He didn’t want to admit it, but being pregnant had made him rather self-conscious. He had always been on the scrawny side of things, so having the ever growing baby bump was minutely distressing. It didn’t matter how often Josef told him otherwise, he felt… a little uneasy about it. The only reason he came out of that little funk was usually thinking about the result. In a few months, they’d have their baby in the world. That was pretty cool.

When his name was called, he put his phone away and followed the nurse down the hall. At least she seemed unfazed by his gender as she showed him into one of the rooms, making small talk the entire way. After asking a few specific questions about his health, she left him to wait for the doctor. More out of nervous habit than anything, he twisted his fingers in his jacket pockets. He was well aware he was looking for his lighter. Quitting smoking had never been easy, but having to do it suddenly, and cold turkey? The only thing that had kept him somewhat sane had been thinking about the damage he could do. Still, he missed having the lighter to toy with. Instead his fingers bumped his phone. He checked it, but there were no messages. Well, texting would keep his mind occupied. He quickly sent Josef a text to let him know he was at the office, and everything was fine so far. Which technically was true.

He couldn’t say that for long.

He made idle talk with the doctor when she came in, answering questions as they came. He’d tried to remember some of Josef’s concerns, but when she asked if he was ready to do the scan, he completely forgot about any of them. He just wanted to see their baby again. Grainy images or not, anything would be better than the vague blob he had stuck to the fridge. He could take it home and show Josef and be giddy for the rest of the day. It was like the adult version of show and tell.

He was so happy thinking about it that when the doctor paused in her scanning, it took him a moment to clue into what was going on. Pausing like that couldn’t be good. Damien glanced at the screen, frowning a little. “Is something wrong?” He felt his heartbeat spike at the idea of something being wrong with their baby already. The doctor shook her head and froze the image.

“Not exactly.” She pushed the monitor so he could see it better, and traced an outline with her finger. “Here’s your baby,” she pointed out. He could sort of visualize it. But what was… “And this is your other baby.” She traced the second outline. Damien just stared, barely managing to keep his mouth shut.

“… Twins?” Oh, hell. He had only just gotten Josef used to the idea of one baby. Now he would have to prepare him for two? He had to prepare himself for two. “I…” She smiled in understanding and patted his arm.

“It’s all right. Everything looks good so far. Just keep doing what you’re doing.” Damien just nodded, all the while trying to figure out just how to tell his partner they were expecting twins.

At least both were cooperative when it came to trying to assess their genders. Though he was warned that it wasn’t an exact science, their positions gave a fairly good idea. At least he could tell Josef that much, if he wanted to know at all. One boy, one girl.

Damien walked out of the clinic with a new set of sonogram printouts, and an odd feeling in his stomach that he couldn’t blame on the baby. … Babies. That would take some getting used to. He knew it was nerves. He’d felt the same before he’d told Josef in the first place. He was worried about how his partner would take the news. Josef didn’t do well with a lot of surprises, and he didn’t have to be a fortune teller to know that this would be one of them. He had to find a way to do it subtly.

On his way home he passed a small bookstore. He almost walked by, but something in the window stopped him. A display in the window geared for kids. One book in particular caught his eye.

Cat in the Hat. With Thing One and Thing Two. Perfect.

After walking Gypsy and Patrick, waiting for Josef to get home, Damien casually laid the new book on the coffee table. Wedged inside was a copy of one of the best scan pictures. While it had originally been labeled ‘Baby One’ and ‘Baby Two’, he had carefully whited out the labels and written in their place ‘Thing One’ and ‘Thing Two.’ He was excited, but scared as hell. He still wasn’t 100% positive that he would be able to handle one baby, let alone two. As much as he wanted to do so. He’d always wanted to be a father. He adored his nephew, Roscoe, and his sister often had a hell of a time getting him back once Damien had a hold of him. But his own? He would be the first to admit he was nervous. Just… not to Josef. Josef had enough to worry about. Sure, he was more or less Damien’s rock, especially now, but he couldn’t worry him anymore than he already was.

When Josef finally walked in, dropping his bag by the door, Damien was in the middle of watching The Fifth Element. He arched an eyebrow at his family. Gypsy was up on the couch, her head in her owner’s lap. Charlie was curled on the back of the couch, and Neil Patrick Harris was sprawled on the floor snoring lightly. “Gary Oldman is really, really creepy in this movie.” He grinned when Damien twisted around to look at him. There was something about his expression when he walked into a room that was addicting. Like he really mattered.

“I know. But it’s still a good movie.” Not to mention, Bruce Willis in his younger days wasn’t hard on the eyes. Granted, he had nothing on Josef, but still. It was a fun movie. (Besides, if he’d watched something remotely sad, he ran the risk of bursting into tears. That was never good.) Damien sat up a little more. “You look happy. Good day?”

“Yeah. Tested a few students for belts today. Everyone passed. Never mind that, though.” He came around to Damien’s other side and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “How did the appointment go?”

The flicker of uncertainty didn’t go unnoticed by Josef. He frowned slightly, but said nothing. The flicker was just that, a flicker, and then it was gone. “It was good,” he said quietly, uncertainly. “She did the scan.”

“And?”

“Here.” Damien leaned forward and picked up the book. “I got this today.” Josef gave him a look as he took it. He didn’t want to play games, he wanted to know what had happened. But the innocent smile Damien gave him made him crack the pages open. The scan fluttered down into his lap. For a brief moment, Damien panicked, his hand moving to rest on Josef’s wrist. “Wait. Just… promise you won’t freak out. Please.” Naturally, that made Josef nervous.

“What’s going on, D?” Damien managed a nervous smile.

“Nothing. It’s just… um… here.” He gently took the folded scan and flipped it open. “Uh… surprise?” Josef looked over the scan with interest at first.

“Am I supposed to be able to tell what it is?” He flipped the scan upside down, hoping it would help. ... Nope. He still couldn’t tell. Not until he flipped it back over and paid attention to what was written in his partner’s neat lettering. “… Thing One and Two? Cute.” Now the book made sense. … Wait. Thing One and Two? “We’re having twins?” No, his voice did not squeak. Josef swallowed. Why did Damien have to do this to him? Why couldn’t they sit down like adults and discuss this normally?

Damien swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. I found out today. Um…” He touched the picture. “A boy, and a girl.” He pointed them both out. Josef inhaled sharply, processing this. His fingers came up to touch his temple, and he rubbed that spot for a moment before getting up and starting to pace the length of the living room.

“We’re having twins. Okay. Okay. We can handle this. We can – “ He abruptly stopped pacing and looked at Damien in a near manic way. “We have to do something about the nursery.” That they hadn’t even really started yet. “Oh my God, we have to start the nursery. And get more stuff for… them.” Holy shit they were having twins. He kept pacing, Damien watching him nervously. Neil Patrick Harris got up from his nap and wagged, following his owner back and forth while Gypsy watched.

“You said you wouldn’t freak out…”

“I didn’t, actually.” Josef reached up and ran his hands through his hair, making it stick up. “And it’s hard not to. We are having twins.”

“I know.” Damien stood up and put his hands on Josef’s shoulders. “And you said yourself we could handle it. Just try to relax? We have time to get the nursery ready. For both of them.” He tried to give his partner a reassuring smile. Josef looked unconvinced, but he stopped moving around and attempted to control his breathing. Relax. Right. He could do that. He couldn’t stress Damien out. It was bad for the baby. … Babies.

He really needed to start on that nursery.

~

“Damien, get out.” Josef pointed at the door, his words muffled slightly by the screw he was holding between his lips. He was sitting on the floor attempting to put together one of two cribs. Damien was desperate to help, but every time he tried, Josef chased him off.

“Josef, I want to help.” He leaned against the door frame. “Please?”

“No. Go sit down.” Josef pulled the screw out of his mouth. “I can handle this.” Damien smiled and caught Patrick’s collar as he tried to burst into the room.

“Without the instructions? You left them in the living room.” He grinned and waved the papers. Josef rolled his eyes.

“I don’t need them. It isn’t rocket science.” A moment later he dropped his screwdriver and rested his arms on his knees. “Damien, seriously. Go. And. Sit. Down.” If for nothing else, for his sanity. The nursery still smelled a little like paint, and there were things all over the place he could hurt himself on. He would stop being on the verge of a heart attack every five minutes if Damien would just sit down in the living room and stay quiet.

“Josef, I am going crazy doing nothing. Please let me help.” He wasn’t used to feeling so… well… useless. But with Josef continuing to kick him out of the nursery, that was how he felt. Josef sighed and looked up at him.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I can handle it.” He glanced at the pieces of the crib in front of him. “How about this. I get one done, and then we’ll go get lunch. Does that sound like a deal?” Damien crossed his arms and tried not to look exasperated. He really wanted to help.

“Fine. I’ll stay out of it.” He held up his hands and walked back into the living room. Gypsy wagged her tail at him, rolling over for a belly rub. It was with the slightest bit of dismay that Damien discovered he couldn’t actually lean over from the couch to the floor to rub Gypsy anymore. It was almost cause for a small crying fit, but he didn’t want to unnerve Josef any more than he already had. Instead, he scooted from the couch to the floor to sit beside Gypsy, giving her what she wanted. Patrick, never one to be left out of anything, nosed his way under Damien’s other hand, until both dogs were being scratched and rubbed. Damien smiled and leaned his shoulders against the couch. Maybe Josef was right to keep him away from the mini construction projects. He got so tired these days that he probably wouldn’t have been much help anyway.

That was only proven further when Josef had to wake him up gently to go for lunch. He’d managed to fall asleep with both dogs tucked under his arms. He’d given his partner a sheepish smile before accepting the offered hand to help him up. Like it or not, it really did look like Josef was right.

~

The longer the pregnancy wore on, the more Josef worried. Not just about Damien’s physical health, but his mental health as well. It was hard not to. He was well aware that most of the other men in Damien’s position were somewhat emotional wrecks. From Chase Campbell, who was just about homicidal if he wasn’t fed or uncomfortable, to Riley who seemed to cry at everything. Josef was concerned that beyond the occasional sad movie, Damien was just... calm. He didn’t yell, he didn’t throw things, and he didn’t cry much. A part of him wondered if he was just keeping everything locked up so as not to worry him. Which... just worried him more, if Josef was honest.

It was coming home from work early that he found out just why Damien always seemed calm. He was just as startled as Damien seemed to be. His partner was curled on the couch, Charlie in his arms. The cat looked less than pleased, but he sat there regardless. Gypsy was shoving her face against Damien’s, nervously licking the tears away. Josef realized then that whatever mood swings Damien might have been suffering from, he’d probably been dealing with them on his own.

“D...” Josef came around and wrapped one arm around his shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. Shh.” He managed to coax him into sitting up a bit, which released Charlie from his spot. Damien drew in a shaky breath and swiped at his eyes.

“It’s fine, I’m okay. Really.”

“No, you’re not. What’s wrong?” Damien shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it. “Damien, please. Let me help.” Another head shake. Josef took his hands in his, concern etched into his expression. “Come on, now. Stop. It’s okay.” That only seemed to create another wave of crying. Josef didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t good at this, but alarm bells were going off and he needed to calm Damien down somehow. Then maybe he could figure out the problem. “Shh,” he tried again, pulling his partner against him. “Just calm down, then we can talk.” Why did these things happen to him? He’d been thinking during his break about binding their family again, but this was no time to be having that discussion. Not until Damien was well and truly calm. Not for the first time, he wished he had empathy or telepathy. Something useful for these situations.

Finally, Damien’s breathing seemed to even out, but his body was still tense. He pulled back, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. It’s... normal.” Sort of. Josef felt like he was walking on eggshells at the moment, trying very hard not to set Damien off again. “Can you tell me what happened now?” He watched Damien’s expression very carefully. The younger man frowned very slightly before closing his eyes and sighing heavily.

“It was just some movie,” he muttered quietly. Honestly, he was frustrated with himself. This was so... stupid. “This guy got his wife pregnant, and she found out he was cheating on her, and he left.” It was a poor explanation, and an even poorer excuse as to why he had been caught sobbing, but there it was. He blamed hormones. Josef just frowned slightly. That didn’t seem cause enough for this kind of waterworks, but then again he wasn’t the pregnant one. Damien sniffed and shook his head. “The rest is... it’s stupid. I’m okay now.” Josef appraised him slightly. He didn’t look okay.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Josef figured he needed a reminder. Damien swallowed and nodded before nearly lapsing back into tears.

“I just... it made me think. And then I started thinking about you leaving and I started crying about it. I wouldn’t know what to do and then you came home and we’re having this discussion and I really, really want a fucking cigarette.” His shoulders started to shake again, and Josef moved to pull him into another hug.

“I’m not going anywhere, Damien. I promise.”

It took a little while to convince him of that, but Josef managed it. Somehow. It had taken a number of different reassurance tactics, but Damien had finally stopped crying and seemed to believe him. He’d even been bribed into eating dinner.

During dinner Josef had done his best to keep the conversation light hearted and easy, but in the back of his mind he was still mulling over binding their family. As much as it scared the hell out of him, with Damien’s little breakdown it seemed... well, it seemed right. If nothing else, well, he loved Damien. And it would give the twins stability. He’d been over and over this in his mind. Pros, cons (he’d found surprisingly few of them, and the pros always overshadowed them anyway), and justifications, if he needed them.

He hoped he wouldn’t need them.

After dinner they took the dogs for a brief walk around the block. Josef didn’t want to push Damien, and he knew he got tired far more easily now. Both dogs were happy to be outside, sniffing every tree and lawn they passed. Patrick tried to play with Gypsy, who largely ignored him, and seemed to sulk for the rest of the walk. He was still young, and still couldn’t tell the difference between playing off leash and walking on leash.

Once they were back and Damien was settled on the couch, Josef went to the kitchen and made his boyfriend some peppermint tea without being asked, and brought it back to him. Damien instantly relaxed the moment it was in his hands. “You read my mind.”

“Secret superpower,” Josef said with a wry little grin before settling beside him. “I think we need to talk, though.”

The look Damien fixed him with was surprising. It was like a deer in the headlights (that one he was used to by now), but with an inappropriate amount of dread behind it. Josef blinked. What was so terrible about talking?

Damien was just worried his fears from earlier were being confirmed. Why did the phrase ‘we need to talk’ make him suddenly dredge up everything terrible he could have done in the past few months or so? Maybe the stress of the idea of kids had finally reached the breaking point for Josef. Or he’d decided he couldn’t actually handle ridiculous mood swings after all. Out of fear of breaking the mug, Damien set it on the coffee table and tried to be brave. “Okay.”

Josef reached over to lay his hand over Damien’s in an attempt to reassure him. He didn’t know what he was worried about for sure, but he could guess it had something to do with his breakdown earlier. Well. Hopefully this would ease those fears away. “Damien, I love you. And I don’t want to leave you. Not now, and not before we got pregnant.” He swallowed. “Honestly, I don’t know why I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life with you. And I think it would give the kids stability...”

It was Damien’s turn to swallow and look uncertain. “What are you talking about?” Josef blinked before cracking a guilty smile. He hadn’t actually asked him. He’d just rambled on to reassure Damien and he hadn’t even asked him. Genius, that was. Josef inhaled slowly. He could do this. ... Again. Damien was not William. He trusted him, which was one of the many reasons he was even trying this. After a moment’s hesitation, Josef slid from the couch to the floor onto one knee.

“I promise you I’m not going anywhere. I love you, I love the twins, and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Damien stared in disbelief. One moment he was convinced he’d committed some unforgivable sin that had officially broken their relationship, and now Josef was on the floor... proposing. He wanted to feel the classic reaction of smiling and shedding happy tears and hugging Josef in a blissful manner.

Instead, he started laughing. He didn’t know why, but he did. Going from one extreme emotion to the other tended to inspire some odd reactions these days. He didn’t want to be laughing, but he was. Josef looked up at him in dismay. Of course, his expression only made Damien laugh harder.

It really didn’t help that Neil Patrick Harris had decided that he had had enough of being ignored, and promptly shoved his nose against Josef’s ear, wagging happily.

That broke Josef. He started laughing too, gently pushing the dog away from him. “What is so funny?” He barely managed to talk through the laughter, but he had to know. Damien just shook his head.

“I don’t know!” But something was clearly hilarious, and it took him a minute to come down from his giggling high. After wiping his eyes from the good tears, Damien looked down at Josef with a little grin. “Do you mean it?”

“Of course I do.” Why would he have asked if he hadn’t meant it? “Here, I’ll prove it.” With that, Josef patted down his pockets, only to realize that the damn ring was still upstairs in the bedroom, hidden away. “Oh for the love of... hold on. Don’t move.” He got to his feet and practically ran upstairs, which only seemed to cause Damien to laugh harder. This was probably the least organized proposal in the history of mankind, but it seemed so... perfect.

Josef came barrelling back down the stairs, his fingers clutched around something small. He returned back to his spot on the floor, trying to regain some semblance of dignity about this whole thing. Of course, it was probably way too late for that, but he’d try. After looking Damien in the eye, as if daring him to start laughing again (which backfired entirely, as it only seemed to set him off into a quiet giggle fit), he showed him the little box and opened it. “You didn’t answer me yet.” Damien made every attempt to stifle his laughter, finally getting himself down to just his shoulders shaking with the effort it took to restrain himself.

“Yes, Josef. I’ll marry you.” They stared at each other for a moment, as if they couldn’t quite believe this was happening. The atmosphere in the house seemed to settle back into calm for one blissful moment.

All it took was Charlie stalking into the living room, fixing his masters with a look that could kill. Distracted, Damien looked at him, then looked at the clock. “Oh hell, it’s way past Charlie’s dinner time.” Josef blinked, looked at the cat, then back at Damien.

“Great. I propose in the most romantic way ever, and you talk about feeding the cat.” Damien looked at him in surprise, but the look on Josef’s face completely belied the stern words. He bit his lip before lapsing back into giggles. Josef rolled his eyes and got up off the floor, crashing beside Damien on the couch and thrusting the little box at him. “You’re ridiculous. Here’s your ring.”

“You call that romantic?”

“Not since you decided the cat was more important than me.” Josef smiled to show he was kidding. “And it was very romantic.”

“Says you.” Damien grinned and picked up the box. Any fears he might have had about Josef doing this just because he’d been upset earlier had been effectively killed off with the presence of the ring. It meant that Josef had actually planned this. Well, maybe not this exactly, but close enough. He plucked it out of the box and looked it over. Just a simple silver colored band. “It’s perfect.” Damien leaned over to kiss Josef softly. The older man smiled and returned the kiss before taking the ring and sliding it onto Damien’s hand himself.

It was only the soft, displeased growl of the cat that forced them apart. “Okay, okay. Dinner time, we get it.” Charlie flicked his tail, glaring at the two men before stalking off into the kitchen. Josef shook his head and got up to follow him. “Needy little lion.”

~

Following their engagement, life seemed to go back to normal again. Damien stopped worrying that Josef was going to leave him, and Josef stopped worrying about asking him in the first place. Damien showed him when the twins kicked, which had admittedly freaked Josef out initially, and they discussed names. All Josef wanted was for at least one of them to have a sort of German name. Damien didn’t argue, and settled into the easy game of suggesting and mulling over ideas. It was only after several rounds (and weeks) of trying that they finally came up with their two front runners.

Josef had tried to convince Damien that they should have two back up names, just in case the scan had been wrong on their genders, but Damien was having none of it. Normally he was sensible, but as they approached the end of his pregnancy, he was more irritated by things. He’d also stopped resisting Josef’s attempts to keep him at home, because in all honesty he didn’t want to go out. He’d had a hard enough time with how his bump looked mid-way through, but now? He’d taken to wearing oversize t-shirts and kept his arms crossed in the smallest effort to keep it hidden.

It didn’t work. Nor did it seem to matter how many times Josef rejected all of the negative things he kept saying about himself. Damien spent much of his last few weeks sulking and burrowing under a blanket on the sofa, Charlie or Gypsy usually snuggled against him.

It wasn’t just the insecurities Damien was in a snit about. He was also dreading the procedure ahead. He’d dragged his feet on even scheduling the damn thing, and had spent the hours after scheduling it in a mild panic. He’d never even had his tonsils or appendix out, and now he was having a damned c-section. He was unhappy, and honestly scared out of his wits about it. Despite his experiences with the medical field through his job, Josef didn’t know what to say to ease Damien’s fears about it. He’d tried a number of things, but nothing really seemed to stick enough to calm him down. It was supposed to be a good thing, but with Damien getting wound up in fear every time it was even mentioned in passing... Josef had no idea what to do.

By the time the day actually rolled around, Josef wasn’t sure which one of them was more nervous. They were as ready as they could be in terms of physical things for the twins. The house was as babyproof as they could make it, and the nursery had been done for months.

For all the excitement over being a father Damien had harbored over the course of the pregnancy, the day the twins were set to arrive he was dragging his feet about it. He hadn’t wanted to get out of bed, going so far as to haul the blankets over his head and pretend that he didn’t have to go anywhere.

To say the least, it had taken a significant amount of coaxing to even get him to come out. Josef was well aware that he was strong, but there was something inherently wrong about trying to physically haul his partner out of bed.

By the time they were in the car, Damien had gone unnaturally quiet, his arms wrapped around himself as he stared out the window. He didn’t have to say or do anything to alert Josef to the fact that he was afraid. As much as he could, Josef took one hand off of the wheel to rest it on his partner’s arm. “It’ll be okay, D. I promise.”

“What if it isn’t?” Damien wasn’t looking at him, keeping his eyes on the passing scenery. “What if something happens?”

“Nothing’s going to happen. Everyone else has been fine so far.”

“I don’t want to do this.” Damien so rarely admitted defeat, and he was usually so easygoing. It was odd to see him like this now.

“I know. But it’ll be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Damien closed his eyes.

“I know.”

“Or the twins.”

“Yeah.” Damien still didn’t sound convinced, but Josef was running out of time to do so. The hospital loomed ahead, and he couldn’t think of anything else to say to calm Damien. Maybe drugs would do the trick.

As it turned out, drugs were a wonderful thing. For all the panic Damien had had prior to entering the building, now he had drugs in his system he was infinitely more relaxed. He’d stopped clinging to Josef’s hand like a leech, at the very least. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah.” Damien smiled up at him. “Still don’t want to do this.” Josef sighed and reached over to clutch his hand.

“You have to. But I’ll be there with you, okay?” Damien waved his other hand.

“You don’t like blood.”

“My own blood, no.” Josef gave him a wry smile. “I think I can handle this.” Even if he couldn’t, he needed to be there for him. Regardless of the fact that the drugs had seemed to take the edge off, he couldn’t deny that he could still see the fear in Damien’s eyes. “I promise, I’ll be right beside you.” Damien swallowed and nodded.

“Okay.”

Josef wasn’t sure he could keep that promise when it was time to go. His own nerves were starting to get jittery. He didn’t want Damien to be in pain, or be scared. He’d already reassured him several times that he wasn’t going to die, but it still seemed to be heavy on his partner’s mind. It had to be, the way he kept asking him.

Oddly, in the actual surgical suite Damien seemed to get himself together enough to stop shivering and forced himself to relax. Like it or not, it was happening, and there was nothing he could do about it. Josef, on the other hand, looked like he was a little... well...

“Josef, you’re really pale.” Damien twisted his head slightly to look up at him. “Are you okay?” He nodded stiffly.

“Yes. Fine.” His voice was only slightly strained, but he thought he was doing a good job of hiding it. Damien smiled at him.

“I’m okay. Like you promised. And - ... you’re hurting my hand.” Wasn’t he supposed to be one trying to crush Josef’s hand, not the other way around?

“Ah. Sorry.” Josef loosened his grip, trying to look apologetic. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Damien winced slightly, his own hand flexing on Josef’s. “Are they almost done?”

“Um.” Josef did not want to move. “Soon, D. You’re doing amazing.” He tried to distract himself by pushing Damien’s hair back from his face.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you should go sit down for a minute.” Josef shook his head.

“No, I’m fine. I’m staying here.” As long as he didn’t have to move, he wasn’t going to break his promise. Feeling a bit lightheaded was nothing compared to what Damien was having to deal with. Of course, when he heard the first shrill cry, he began to doubt his ability to keep it together. He watched as one of the nurses took the baby, an odd surge of protectiveness washing over him. That baby was his, and he wanted it safe with him.

His wish was granted just a few minute later. A tiny, perfect little creature wrapped in a pink blanket was offered to him. “Mr. Muller? Meet your daughter.” Josef stared at her for a moment, his eyes wide. Damien let go of his hand to let him take her. It took him a moment to work up the nerve to hold her, and when he did he looked rather unsure. Carol just stared up at him, her eyes an intense blue.

“Is she pretty?” Damien tried to look at her, but only managed to wince again and stayed still.

“She’s...” Josef blinked as he watched her look around. “She’s amazing.” Almost tentatively he brought her closer to him, making sure she was entirely covered by the blanket. “Hi, Carol.”

After what felt like a long, long time a second cry started up. Damien looked momentarily alarmed, but Josef just smiled and looked at him. “It’s okay. It’s over.” They could both relax now. Both twins were here, and no one had died during the process. Damien was given their son to hold as they finished with him. The look in his eyes said that he just didn’t care anymore.

“Kieran,” he said softly, touching the tiny baby’s cheek. Damien looked up at Josef in disbelief. “They’re really here.” Josef smiled and leaned down to kiss his partner softly, careful not to disturb Carol too much.

“Yeah. They are.”

It wasn’t long after the procedure that Damien was finally dragged completely under the drugs’ effects. He fell asleep not long after being allowed back in his room, leaving Josef to pace around between the nursery and the room. He didn’t like being separated from the twins. Of course, he’d just about relax watching them sleep before running back to the room to make sure Damien didn’t wake up alone.

When he did finally wake up, he ached everywhere. Josef was sitting on the end of the bed with Kieran in his arms. “Hey,” he said softly. Damien blinked and rubbed his face with his hand.

“Hey. Ugh. I feel like I was hit by a bus.” Josef smiled and shifted so that he could give the baby to him.

“Not quite. Here.” Damien gently took Kieran in his arms, trying not to move too much. “Don’t move around,” Josef said unnecessarily. Damien made a face.

“I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.” And he didn’t. He had one of their children, and he had Josef. That made him relatively content. “You didn’t sell Carol, did you? Where is she?”

“She’s in the nursery.” Josef didn’t dare say anything to make Damien laugh. He knew it was bad enough with broken ribs. He didn’t want to think about the pain it might cause. “I can go get her, if you want me to.” Damien leaned back against the pillow, snuggling Kieran to his chest.

“Yeah.”

“You’ll be okay for two minutes?”

“I’m timing you.” Josef grinned, despite his still present nerves. He still wasn’t sure if he was cut out to be a good father, but he was going to damn well try.

By the time they were released from the hospital, Josef was a bundle of anxiety. Damien was still in a somewhat fragile state with healing, they had the dogs to look after, Charlie to cater to, and the twins to raise. He had no idea how in the hell he was going to do this. But one look from Damien, and a light squeeze of his hand, he decided that it didn’t really matter. They’d do it together.

[Elliot Morrow]

Not Cheating, As Per Sean

When Elliot woke up at four in the morning, he initially chalked it up to Caleb shifting in his sleep. But the longer he stared at the blurry red numbers on the alarm clock, the more he began to realize that it was something else.

He scrambled out from under the blanket and ran down the hall to the little bathroom, heaving up the previous night’s dinner into the toilet. It had been ages since he’d been sick like this. Normally he was on top of things, and he was enough of a neat freak to keep germs at bay. No doubt he’d end up passing this to Cale, too. That was almost as miserable a thought as vomiting again as his stomach twisted.

“Babe?” Cale’s voice came down the hall. Elliot sat up and tried to find his voice.

“I’m fine,” he called back, though it sounded rather pathetic. “Really.”

“Elliot.” Ellie knew the tone Cale was using. It was the ‘I don’t think so, don’t lie to me’ tone. He’d heard it often enough in his life to know. “You were sick a minute ago, you’re not fine.” The Irishman grimaced as he tried to get back on his feet to rinse his mouth out at the sink.

“Yes. I was sick. Past tense. I’m fine now.” And he was. There were no more traces of nausea twisting around. After rinsing out his mouth, he smiled at his husband. “See?” Cale rolled his eyes, but held out his hand nonetheless.

“Fine. Let’s go back to bed, then.” He couldn’t mask the concern on his face, but he knew Elliot would just get snippy if he pressed it. He’d just keep an eye on him, and if he was still sick at a more decent hour of the morning, he’d ask him to stay home for the day.

~

“Elliot, come on. This isn’t up for discussion.”

“I feel fine now, Cale.”

“Throwing up in the morning for three days straight isn’t fine, babe. Come on.” Caleb held his hand out to him. “I already made the appointment.”

“You worry too much, Jitterbug.”

“Don’t Jitterbug me. Come on. You’re going.”

“Caleb, I am not a child. You don’t need to come with me.”

“You’re acting like a child, and I won’t know if you actually go or not unless I go with you. Get in the car.”

“You really do worry too much.”

“Because I love you.”

“That is playing dirty.”

“Elliot, get in the car before I drag you.”

“Fine.”

~

“Wh... no. That’s not... that’s not even possible. It’s not logical.” Elliot stared at the doctor, looking much paler than usual. “You can’t possibly mean that I’m...”

“I’m sorry, Elliot. But we ran the tests twice to confirm. Now if you’ll just lie back, we can do a quick scan.”

“I... I can’t even comprehend... how does this even happen?” He’d never thought this possible. The nonchalant reaction of the doctor just seemed to underline that he’d apparently missed some crucial Biology lesson somewhere along the way.

“We don’t know for sure, but you’re not the only one it’s happening to in Pilot Ridge. Just relax.” Elliot wasn’t sure he could relax. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he could remember how to breathe properly at the moment. Still, he did as he was told and lay back on the bench, hoping that this might disprove the blood tests.

It felt so... wrong to have the cool gel on his abdomen, the ultrasound probe sliding along it. For a moment he just closed his eyes, wishing it was all some sort of twisted nightmare.

The sudden fluttering sound made his eyes snap back open. The probe was still in the doctor’s hand, and she smiled as she turned the screen slightly so he could see it. “See?” She smiled warmly at him. “You’re going to be a father.”

Elliot just barely managed to make it out of the exam room and into the bathroom down the hallway before vomiting again, and this time he wasn’t sure he could blame it on morning sickness or not.

~

Ring.

“Pick up the phone.”

Ring.

“Caleb I swear to God if you don’t pick up the phone I’m going to – “

Ring.

“... Seriously. Pick up your goddamn phone.”

Click. “... Hi! You’re reached the voicemail of Caleb Green. I’m sorry I can’t answer your call right now, but please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!” Beep.

“Caleb, call me. Now.” He hung up after that, momentarily regretting the snippiness of the message. ... Screw it. He was stressing out, and if Cale couldn’t answer his phone, he deserved grumpy voice mails.

That only lasted so long. He relented after about five minutes and left a nicer message for him, and apologized for the first one. Hopefully Cale could read the stress in his voice and would call as soon as he got the chance.

While he waited, Elliot logged onto his laptop and brought up Google. Hell, he didn’t know the first thing about babies, and now he was going to have one? He cruised from site to site, trying to gather vital information. Of course, there was nothing out there about what was happening to him. He didn’t even know where said baby was currently even growing. It wasn’t like he had the right anatomy or anything...

Why the hell was Cale taking so long to call him? The longer he was on his own, the more he was starting to worry. He liked facts. He liked knowing what was going to happen around the next corner. He liked logic.

This was none of the above.

His phone ringing made him jump. “Cale!”

“Elliot! What’s wrong?”

“I...” He had no idea how to bring this up. “I went back to the doctor today, because they had the blood test results.”

“Oh... what’s wrong?” Elliot could hear the fear in Cale’s voice. Ellie swallowed and brought a hand up to twist in his shaggy black hair.

“I think you should come home. I don’t want to do this over the phone.”

“Elliot! Can’t...” Cale’s voice lowered. “Can’t you tell me anything over the phone? I’m freaking out.”

“So am I,” Elliot murmured back. “It’s not... I’m not dying, okay? And neither are you. It’s just... very unexpected news.”

“Are you sick?” Caleb sounded panicked now. “I’m coming home right now.”

“Not exactly.” He glanced at the print out of the scans the doctor had given him. “Just come home. And don’t break any speed limits.”

“Little late for that, Babe.” Elliot sighed and said his goodbyes before hanging up. He couldn’t take any more of Google’s useless information, so he migrated from the laptop to the couch, where he sprawled out to wait for his husband.

It didn’t take long for Cale to come bursting through the door. The harried look on his face would have been comical, had the situation been different. Slamming the door behind him, Cale dropped his gym bag and dove to his knees on the floor by the couch. “Elliot,” he breathed, as if he had been expecting him to be half dead.

“Hello,” Elliot murmured back, reaching out to touch Cale’s cheek.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” Elliot shook his head and waved his hand near the desk.

“No. I am going to show you.” Curiosity got the better of him, and he rose to pick up the foreign pictures.

“... These looks like ultrasound pictures.”

“They are.”

“Of what, though?”

“... Caleb?”

“Yeah?”

“... I’m... pregnant.”

~

Being that he really wasn’t the only man in Pilot Ridge that was pregnant, it had been remarkably easy for Elliot to explain his... ‘situation’ to his supervisor at work. As it turned out, her brother was also curiously with child. Better yet, a ridiculous amount of his work could be done at home. As he got further along in his pregnancy, there would be more opportunity for him to work from home. He was more than okay with this plan.

Caleb approved of this plan as well. If he was home, he could keep an eye on him. He’d already settled into the habit of getting after Elliot for taking pre-natal vitamins. While the doctors didn’t seem to know how this was possible, they were treating their male patients much like they would their female counterparts in the same situations.

Elliot actually started sleeping for a change. He couldn’t handle staying up much beyond 10:00 pm anymore, and he was harder to get up in the morning. He often found himself trying to drift off around midday at work, and without the ability to wake himself up with a caffeine fix, he found himself mentally crashed by four.

Caleb had always more or less been in charge of cooking, but he’d also managed to pick up the slack for cleaning. Normally the two worked together well, but Cale didn’t mind. Not when he watched Elliot fall asleep curled in a fleecy blanket on the couch, the start of his baby bump visible. He often seemed to shift in his sleep so that his arms were curled around himself, protecting their little Gremlin.

Much as he hadn’t wanted credit for it in the beginning, it was an offhand remark from Caleb that had nicknamed the baby Gremlin. Without any way to know if it was a boy or a girl just yet, they’d tried thinking of something neutral to call it in the meantime. After exhausting a long list of possibilities, Cale had finally suggested Gremlin as something ridiculous.

It had stuck.

It seemed that Gremlin already had adventurous tastes in food as well. It was during Elliot’s fourth month that he called Caleb with a steady whine, requesting McDonald’s fries for dinner. And chicken nuggets. Cale honestly hadn’t wanted to believe him. Elliot hated fast food. All that grease. But Gremlin seemed to have other ideas.

Gremlin also had a taste for peach frozen yogurt, and Cool Ranch Doritos. Often at the same time. Throughout the whole thing, Caleb just shook his head in amusement and kept up with the requests.

Elliot didn’t seem to suffer many mood swings. In fact, when he was interrupted from work now it was a welcome distraction rather than a transgression punishable by death, like it always had been prior to the pregnancy. If anything, he was less inclined to work as his pregnancy wore on. He also become far more cuddly, almost craving contact itself.

He also become incredibly self conscious of his ever growing bump, taking to wearing oversized t-shirts that just about slipped from his narrow shoulders, and traded his usual jeans for sweatpants. Over and over he insisted that Caleb had to find him unattractive. That was usually met with a soft kiss, and a promise that he was still sexy as ever.

Even in sweatpants.

~

“Gremlin, stop it.” Elliot grunted softly as he lay on his back on the couch. He was trying to watch Shark Week on Discovery channel, but Gremlin was having none of it. “I don’t care if you don’t want to watch it. Dad’s got the remote.” Both Elliot and Cale had fallen into the habit of talking to Gremlin like they were already born. In response to his comment, Elliot got a little kick in the ribs. “Ow. You’re grounded, Gremmy. No TV for a week.” Which was funny, considering that Gremlin was technically due within the week. “I mean it.” He received another good kick and he sighed, wishing Cale was home. His voice seemed to soothe their little acrobat much better than his own.

What he didn’t expect was less of a kick, and more of a squeezing cramp lower down in his belly. He hissed out a breath and lay his hand on his bump. “Gremlin, what the hell are you playing at?” Another kick seemed to mock him.

The cramp seemed to repeat half an hour later, just as Elliot was dozing off. Gremlin had finally gone still, but that left no explanation for the cramping...

Wait.

He picked up his phone and quickly dialed Cale’s number. Always on high alert these days, Cale answered quickly. “Hey, Beautiful.”

“Hey yourself. I think the Gremlin’s done.”

“Wh... what? Really?” Cale practically squeaked on the other end of the phone. “I can be home in ten minutes!”

“Take your time. We’re not going anywhere.” Elliot smiled and pressed his palm to his stomach. All the preparation they’d done – the nursery, the toys, everything. They’d finally get to meet their little Gremlin and put it all to use.

Caleb appeared in just under ten minutes, trying to calm his jittery nerves as he gathered everything they were supposed to bring to the hospital. Elliot’s bag, things for Gremlin. They still didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl, because Gremlin had never ever cooperated for the scans. Apparently it was all for keeping its’ parents in suspense.

Elliot closed his eyes in the car, his head resting on the headrest. “Remember to breathe?” Caleb offered softly, not sure what was going to really help. They’d gone to a few Lamaze classes, and actually met a few of the other pregnant men in the city while they did so. They’d been some of the youngest ones, but that was okay. They were old enough to be responsible parents.

The c-section scared Elliot. He’d never had surgery before, let alone something he’d have to be awake for. But Cale was there the whole time, holding his hand, looking absolutely ridiculous in the scrubs the doctors had made him agree to wear.

“You look stupid,” he murmured through a drugged haze, stubbornly clutching Cale’s hand.

“I look stupid? Me? You, sir, are rude.” Caleb grinned and squeezed Elliot’s hand. “You’re doing great.”

“It feels funny. Can you tell them to stop?”

“No, Babe, I can’t.” Cale offered a sympathetic smile and brushed his husband’s hair from his eyes. “You need a haircut.”

“Don’t change the subject, Jitterbug. They’re pulling and it hurts.”

“No it doesn’t. They gave you drugs, remember?”

“Yeah.”

“They said it would just be pressure and pulling, but no pain. Does it hurt?”

“No. I just want them to stop.”

“They will. In a few minutes. You’re doing really great.”

“I’m tired, Cale.”

“You can nap all you want when Gremlin’s out.”

“Can we name it Gremlin forever?” Cale had to suppress a smile, thankful for the mask over his face. Honestly, Elliot was more fun on drugs than he was after a few drinks.

“Yes. It can be Gremlin forever.”

“Promise?”

“Yes.”

A sudden, sharp wail pierced the air. Even Elliot looked startled. “Caleb? Elliot? Your daughter is here.” Caleb grinned behind his mask and stroked Elliot’s cheek.

“Hear that, Babe? Gremlin’s a girl.”

“Is she pretty?” The still wet, squirming baby was wrapped in a towel and given to Cale to hold. He stared down in wonder at her tiny little body.

“She’s perfect.”

~

Once Elliot had slept off the heavier drugs, Caleb brought Gremlin in to see him. He was still dopey, mostly because of the pain medication that was trickling down his IV line.

“Hey, Jitterbug. Is that ours?”

“Yep. This is Gremlin.” He gently nestled the baby in Elliot’s lap. His fingers stroked across her cheek.

“She’s tiny.”

“She’s adorable.” Cale watched as Elliot pulled himself more upright, swallowing when he saw his husband wince in discomfort. “Elliot, take it easy... Don’t hurt yourself.”

“She’s worth it,” Elliot assured, securing the little bundle in his arms. “Gremlin,” he cooed softly at her. “She looks like you.”

“Funny, I’ve seen saying she looks like you. She’s got your pretty eyes.” Elliot didn’t have the heart to tell him that almost all babies were born with blue eyes. They’d change over time.

“Yeah.” Elliot smiled and traced his fingers down her soft cheek. “I guess we have to name her properly now.”

“Uh... about that.” Cale looked guilty. Elliot stared at him curiously.

“What?”

“Well... during the surgery... you kind of demanded that we keep Gremlin as her name. Sooo....” Elliot’s eyes narrowed.

“You didn’t. Cale! I was on drugs at the time!” Gremlin just stared up at them, clearly curious as to why there were raised voices.

“I know. But you were so sure...” Cale bit his lip. Elliot rolled his eyes.

“Great. You’re going to be Gremlin forever.”

“Yeah. Gremlin Forever.”

“Perfect.” Cale grinned and moved so that he was perching on the edge of the bed. Elliot eyed him. “You didn’t really, did you?”

“No. I figured you’d rather name her while not impaired. Though I must say, you’re much more fun on drugs than when you drink.”

“Oh good. I was worried there.” Elliot smiled and touched Gremlin’s hand. “We’ll figure out a name for you, pretty girl.”

Two days later, Elliot was discharged with Caleb by his side, and Mckenna in his arms. It was high time they introduced her to her new home.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

#116 – Sleepless

“I’ve missed this.” A deep kiss, lips parted by his partner’s tongue, then hands over his chest, palms running over pectorals, kneading flesh.

Me too. Between work, household chores, and family obligations, intimacy was less regular than it had been before parenthood.

“Not-” Interrupted by another kiss, which he was reluctant to break for argument. When parted for air, he finished, “-fair, how you can talk and kiss at the same time.”

“Do you really want to complain?” Lips at his neck, a flick of a tongue.

“...no.” In fact, he only wanted his partner to continue with what he was doing and to do more. To make that point, he slid one hand into the other man’s hair, guiding him to his chest.

Then the door creaked open. “Daddy?” A high-pitched voice queried tentatively into the darkness. “Papa?”

Josh bolted upright and dislodged the telepath in the process; the latter banged his elbow against the nightstand and hissed softly. Josh reached for the nearest blanket to drape around his own shoulders, covering his chest; Sean tugged his own pajama top back down into position, speaking to the tiny figure in the doorway. “Yes, Sweetheart?”

“Can I come in?” She was always good about asking before coming in; Sean and Josh worked hard to instill proper manners.

“Of course,” Sean said. He offered his partner an apologetic look and then shifted on the bed to make room for her. Dragging her blanket buddy behind her, she quickly scurried across the room and climbed up onto the bed to lie between her parents. Once she was settled, Josh said, “It’s past your bedtime.”

“I can’t sleep,” she admitted. It was a problem that Sean suffered frequently and which Josh suffered occasionally, although usually owing to work-related or personal stress. Both men had hoped that Eleanor would be spared such sleep problems, and if not spared, then that she wouldn’t encounter any before grade school.

She’s been good about sleeping as a baby, compared with the other children.

She curled up against Sean, who wrapped one arm around her shoulders, offering comfort and security. “It’s dark and lonely.”

“Your nightlight isn’t helping?”

She shook her head, long strands of hair falling into her eyes. “It’s dark,” she repeated, and then her lower lip trembled. “I don’t like being alone.”

“You aren’t alone, Eleanor. Slim and Steve and Cocoa and Blankie are all with you in your room.”

The reassurance went nowhere, because instead, she curled up closer against Sean’s chest and looked up at him with bright blue eyes. “Can Blankie and I stay with you? Please?”

“Honey...” Josh began, but Eleanor didn’t let him finish. Instead, she turned her doe eyes on her Papa, and her lip trembled again. “Please Papa? You and Daddy can hug; I’ll be quiet.”

It was impossible for a person without a heart of stone to respond to that with anything other than capitulation. As such, Josh reached forward to stroke her hair. “You can stay tonight, but you have to try to sleep.”

“I’ll try,” she promised.

She did try, and curled up between her parents, and using her Daddy’s wide chest and soft stomach as a pillow, she eventually closed her eyes. A few moments later, her breathing had evened, though she still clutched her blanket buddy close to her for comfort.

Josh rolled up on one arm, careful not to disturb her. Instead, he drew the covers more tightly around the three of them.

I’m sure you’re grateful for the telepathy now. Sean’s voice echoed in his head.

Yes, Josh had to admit. Even if he didn’t, Sean would know anyway. Should we try again tomorrow night?

We can try again tomorrow morning.

Are we putting her back in her own bed tonight?

No, but she isn’t going to shower with us tomorrow, Slim. Sleepless night or not, their routine would have to resume in the morning.

It was a valid point, and Josh smiled in the darkness; he thought his partner was aware, even if he didn’t see. It was something to look forward to. And a good reason for them both to go to sleep now too, so they could wake up early tomorrow morning.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

((OOC: For the sake of everyone in the universe, this is not canon. That said, I have no further apologies.))

#6 – Graphic

Perhaps it was because Sean Neville felt responsibility for everyone around him, due to the telepathy. Perhaps it was because the telepath believed that everyone should have proper instruction for a honeymoon night, and this was the last possible opportunity to speak alone before the vows. Perhaps it was because the telepath doubted he would ever need to have this conversation with someone else, because of the life decisions in his own family. Perhaps he was used to his conversation between his years at Hammel and the fact that he and Eleanor had discussed this topic in detail since she was young. Perhaps, just perhaps, Sean Neville was far more vindictive than anyone had actually believed, and this was revenge for the years Rhys spent torturing his daughter and her best friend.

However, the sexagenarian psychiatrist had cornered Rhys at his bachelor party, inexplicably since he hadn’t been given serious invitation. Yes, the fathers of the Miracle Babies had all been invited as was custom, but Rhys and Toby hadn’t expected them to actually go. Yet, the telepath had, and with a foreboding “May I have a chat?” had whisked the groom-to-be off to a private room.

“What’s this about?” Rhys Campbell asked, once the psychiatrist had seated himself to spare his knees.

“On the eve of your wedding, your fathers and I agreed it would be beneficial to you to have some advice. They have most everything covered, but for the sake of tradition, I’m here to provide you with the last bit you might need.”

“Which would be?”

“The Birds and the Bees.”

Rhys blanched. “I already know all that stuff. I mean, I sat through your lecture at Hammel.” Not to mention that he and Dani had already-

“I’m aware of the fact that you’re sexually active,” Sean replied, tapping his temple with his forefinger. That was one of the fringe “benefits” of telepathy. “I’m also not here to pass judgment or from some deluded impression that marriage is a prerequisite for sexual activity, enjoyment, or fulfillment. After all, I’ve never been married, and I can assure you that I’ve probably had more sex than you could ever hope to have.”

Rhys stared at his “uncle” in thinly-veiled horror. He didn’t need to know that; he didn’t want to know that. Uncle Sean and Uncle Josh were in their seventies, and oh Dear Lord he couldn’t get it out of his head, make it stop, make it stop.

“Welcome to my world.” The telepath took a sip of the scotch he had grabbed from the open bar on his way to finding the young man; he was unperturbed, utterly serene.

Rhys’s face flushed and he looked down at his feet. He muttered, “Then we really don’t have much to talk about. I mean, since you know...”

The telepath took another sip of his scotch. “I’m not here to discuss mechanics. I would hope that you have a firm grasp of those by now, otherwise you shouldn’t have graduated, and Dani would have every right to be quietly horrified.” Or not, as was the case with Dani’s personality.

“Then what...?” Rhys’s voice trailed off, because, upon reflection, he didn’t actually want to know.

The psychiatrist steadily gazed into the young man’s eyes. “Do you know what the difference between mediocre sex and great sex is?”

“What?”

Sean didn’t flinch; instead, he calmly repeated his question. “Do you know the difference between mediocre sex and great sex?”

Nobody had ever asked Rhys Campbell that question, definitely not somebody who could read his mind and know everything he had done. The confident, sometimes arrogant, young man wouldn’t let that stop him, however, and thus he replied. “Other people have mediocre sex; I have great sex.”

The twitch of the telepath’s lips was far more disconcerting than a frown of disapproval or a lecture would have been. “When Eleanor went off to college, I told her that anyone who thinks he’s God’s gift to women should be avoided at all costs. I know she passed that on to Dani. I also know that she passed my other tidbits of advice on to her.”

“Which would be?” Why did he just ask that? He didn’t really want to know. It was the challenge; it had to be the challenge...

“That oral sex is a two-way street and any hesitation or unwillingness to give while coupled with expectations to receive made one irredeemably dump-worthy. End of story.” Another sip of scotch, and then the telepath swirled the remaining amber liquid in his glass. “That role play is healthy. That certain kinks and fetishes are to be indulged while others are to be rebuffed, and never outside of one’s comfort zone. That said, that if your future wife wants to take you over her knee and spank you until your backside turns as red as your face is right now, I’d recommend indulging her.”

Rhys’s eyes were as wide as saucers. “If she what?”

“I’m making a point.”

“She wants to do what?!” How had this never come up before?

“Rhys Grant Campbell, calm yourself or else people will hear you and undoubtedly want to know what’s gotten you so excited. I’m sure you don’t want Tobias, Tony, or Carwyn to get involved in this.”

Son of a –

“Language.” It was reflexive, and the telepath made no apologies for correcting the young man’s thoughts, given that they were in direct response to the conversation in which they were engaged.

“Great sex comes from a pattern of caring between partners, as well as that genuine pleasure you gain only from your spouse’s pleasure. Great sex comes from willingness to discover together, and the ability to discuss anything with your spouse, even if you don’t actually do it, because nobody should be shunned for being curious. Great sex might not always be spicy, but it remains exciting because nobody excites you the way your spouse does. Great sex is great, because it’s never a chore.” The telepath finished off the rest of the liquor in his glass.

“Why are you telling me this?” Rhys asked, his voice barely audible because he was too horrified.

“Because I believe everyone is capable of having, and deserves to have, great sex. As often as they and their partners want to.” Sean set his glass down and folded his hands in his lap. “I also think that it’s a sin when sex becomes a chore. There are plenty of reasons to not want to have sex; there are no acceptable reasons to have mediocre sex.”

“It isn’t mediocre!” Rhys snapped immediately, and then he stopped himself. Was he really defending his prowess to his telepathic “uncle” at his own bachelor party? Really?

“It isn’t all about you,” the telepath replied steadily. “I expect you know that when you let your ego cool a bit.”

Rhys blinked at the old man, his expression a mixture of horror and defeat. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because I care about Dani and about you; as I said, nobody deserves to have mediocre sex.” The telepath tilted his head slightly to the side, his expression one of contemplation. “However it might feel to you right now, this isn’t about humiliation. This is an important, heart-to-heart chat that needs to be done before you and Dani jet off to Hawaii tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, sure.” The psychiatrist was right about one thing: this was completely humiliating. The only upside, if there was an upside, was the fact that Sean Neville was the only telepath in attendance, so after he left, assuming that he left quietly, nobody would know what he’d wanted to discuss with Rhys. The groom-to-be could pretend that it was a question about place setting or something equally trivial.

Sean rose from his chair and reached out to pat Rhys on the shoulder. “Take what I said to heart. If you do, then you’ll make Dani a very happy woman, and both of you will have a long, happy marriage.”

Rhys couldn’t help it; he asked, “And if I don’t?”

“I’ll know about it,” the telepath said in a matter-of-fact tone, reaching up to tape his temple again. “And I’ll come talk to you again. With my charts. I’m sure you don’t want that.”

Rhys didn’t.

“That’s what I thought.” Sean offered Rhys a smile and then walked toward the door. “Have a nice time tonight; I’ll see you at the Church first thing in the morning.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

#119 - Egg

“Hello?”

“Hello. Is this Kathleen Finnerty?”

“This is she.”

“It’s Joshua Bernstein. I know that the last time we spoke, it didn’t end on the best of notes, but I wanted to tell you something about Sean.”

“Is he in the hospital again?”

“No. Well, not exactly...no.”

A pause. “Is he in some form of occupational therapy?”

“No, he’s healthy. I just wanted to let you know that we’re going to have a baby.”

“My brother’s choices to adopt are none of my business, Mister Bernstein. Now, is that all?”

“Wait! I mean, he and I are going to have a baby. Together. He’s...ahhhh...he’s pregnant.”

“...”

“I know it’s a shock, but the baby is due in six months and-”

Click.

“Hello? Hello? Kathleen?”

*******************************************

The phone call went about as well as Sean had expected, although Josh had professed a sincere hope that she would be more supportive. The telepath had given up trying to explain the situation with his sister long ago, when the other man had proven that he was incapable of truly understanding; Sean couldn’t even fault him that, since it was merely indicative of the strong, healthy familial bonds that the Bernstein clan shared amongst themselves.

Ryan, at least, had been more enthusiastic about the notion; his nephew had excellent coping skills. Although he didn’t have any of Sean’s genes in the direct lineal sense, the psychiatrist knew they had gotten those skills from the same ancestor.

“Are you going to keep it?”

Not “How is that possible?” or “Is this a joke?” or “But I thought you were a man?”; not even any thoughts about what sexual act could have resulted in such an occurrence. But simply an inquiry into his plans, as though cisgendered male pregnancy was a common phenomenon, no different from if one of Ryan’s college friends or cousins on his father’s side had announced her pregnancy.

“Of course I am.”

Then a wide smile had lit up Ryan’s features. “Boy or girl?”

“I don’t know,” Sean had confessed with a slight shrug. “I want to be surprised.”

That situation hadn’t lasted. While the psychiatrist sincerely wanted to find out after birth, as he had no intention of treating a son differently from a daughter, there were two unplanned for problems with that goal: 1) Josh didn’t want to be surprised, and 2) the telepathy made it impossible for Josh to know something that Sean didn’t.

They were going to have a daughter.

Josh’s mother, after recovering from the shock and the period of anxiety-inducing silence (as far as Josh was concerned), had bought a bunch of dresses for ages zero-to-six months. Some of them were pink.

Josh had thanked her properly, and then complained about pink frilly dresses as soon as he and Sean were safely alone at their house. The telepath had listened for a few moments – since he did agree with some aspects of the tirade, although for vastly different reasons – and then he’d excused himself to nap.

Napping was fast becoming Sean’s favorite hobby.

In a stunning turn of events, cuddling was fast becoming Josh’s favorite hobby; at least, his most often-initiated one. Sober, gentle cuddling. On the bed, on the sofa, in the hot tub, which was a favorite place now more than ever, as the water, heat, and sensation of weightlessness eased the ever-present pain in Sean’s back and feet.

During tea time with Estelle, the mellow teenage girl had remarked, “At least you aren’t Ocampa.”

When it became apparent that the reference was lost on the psychiatrist, she had offered an apologetic smile and looked down at her teacup. “There’s an alien species from Star Trek,” she explained. “They give birth from their backs.”

Sean admitted that sounded unpleasant; he would have to sleep on his stomach, which was a trait that he’d never developed. Although he didn’t envy women the experience of “natural” birth either.

Not that a C-section was the most ideal situation, but he’d made the arrangements as soon as he’d been diagnosed as pregnant and the date of conception had been identified. All of their friends were likewise require C-sections, although some of the men seemed to drag their feet regarding the arrangements.

While Sean understood the feelings of dread surrounding uncomfortable medical procedures in the abstract, he was simply too cautious and practical to ever find merit in delaying the necessary. He was probably the only man in the state, if not the country (or any country practicing Western medicine), who hadn’t made complaints about scheduling his first colonoscopy when turning fifty.

In fact, that hadn’t even been the most unpleasant aspect of turning fifty.

His age did concern him; however, he was cautious about the notion of birth defects. Aside from the fact that no cisgendered man had ever been pregnant before (and his due date was the first of the men in Pilot Ridge – lucky him), he was also older than all of the other expectant fathers. He would be seventy-three when Eleanor graduated high school and seventy-seven by the time of her college commencement. Eighty or older, if she was to pursue professional degrees.

The telepath reflected on that often; he was glad that longevity was in Josh’s genes, so there was a high probability of him being around for many years after Sean died, assuming that they both engaged in lifestyle changes. Sean wanted both of them to cut back on the drinking, and he wanted Josh to give up smoking altogether.

That would be a long-term project.

At least Josh was trying for the duration of the pregnancy, and that was a start. It helped, because Sean found that his sense of smell was keener these past months; or, at least, he was more sensitive to odors than he had been, and the cigarette smell made him sick and gave him a headache. However, the reduction in the odor of cigarettes allowed for Sean to actually smell and appreciate the scent of avocado left over from Josh’s soap, which was far more preferable.

Plus, the bathing together was nice.

The expectancy period provided for lots of bonding time, for which Sean was grateful. While he took the pregnancy, the physical and emotional changes, and the future planning in stride, there was certainly comfort to be found in having his partner with him throughout the experience.

Even when it was apparent that the younger man was embarrassed. Even when Sean wasn’t.

“I need new pants,” the telepath had said, when he had barely been able to fasten his pants around his ever-expanding stomach.

“We can go to the Men’s Big and Tall,” Josh suggested.

Sean shook his head. “I need something more comfortable.” He began to chuckle, because these were words he’d never believed he would say. “I need maternity clothes.”

“Paternity clothes,” Josh corrected automatically. He had made it his mission to erase gendered language as applied to the pregnant men, although he didn’t think his efforts were appreciated. Although, the Lamaze instructor was good about saying “mothers and fathers” or “ladies and gentlemen.”

“If I say paternity clothes at the store, they’ll inform me there isn’t a dress code for that.”

“If you say maternity clothes, they might stare.”

“And?”

Josh hadn’t had a good retort.

Always a large man, there had been only a few downsides during Sean’s life. The most notable of which was that he had to duck when in certain rooms and he most certainly couldn’t fit in small spaces. He was also used to not being able to buy off the rack, although he usually was able to find something.

Nothing at the store had fit. While the waists were fine, the legs were far, far too short. The clerk had been helpful and had offered to special order several pairs, after taking Sean’s measurements.

His regular pants would last another week or so, he hoped. Long enough to wait on the new ones.

Admittedly, he enjoyed being home because he didn’t have to wear pants, and thus there was less constraint around his stomach.

He was always so careful with his stomach now. Josh equally so; gone were the playful grabs for his love handles, replaced with only the gentlest of touches.

“Can you feel her?” Sean asked, as they lay together on the bed. Josh had one hand splayed tenderly over the telepath’s stomach.

“I think so,” the attorney said. He smiled after a moment. “I think I felt her moving. Is she moving?”

Sean covered Josh’s hand on his stomach. “Yes. She’s full of life.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

#56 – Totem

There was a Renaissance Festival not too far outside of Boston. Sean enjoyed history, costumes, food, and drinking enough to have attended a couple of times. Once, on a lark with Ryan, he and his nephew had looked up the Finnerty and Neville family crests. Both involved a suit of armor, and the Finnerty crest also contained a tree.

Neither contained a bear.

But the Bernstein coat of arms had a bear. Which, perhaps, made it fitting that Sean had settled down and had a family with a Bernstein.

Aside from the bear flag shirt that Sean wore in the bedroom, and only by request, there were other hints around the house that bears were important. Primarily in Eleanor’s bedroom with her menagerie of animals, at least a third of which were bears.

She loved them.

There was also the bear costume that Josh had bought her, and all of the humiliating pictures that both Sean and Josh had taken of her in that costume. Those pictures were now organized neatly in photo albums, just waiting to be shown off to friends or to her potential boyfriends in the future.

Additionally, there were the fairytale books that included stories like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, as well as Aesop’s Fables. And the Berenstain Bears books that Sean didn’t find insufferably preachy.

Also a few books in Sean’s and Josh’s private collection, but Eleanor wasn’t allowed to read those. They didn’t have pictures. Not pictures that either of her parents considered appropriate for a young child.

Much like her Daddy, Eleanor also had a bear shirt, but unlike his, hers wasn’t a symbol of a gay male subculture. Also, hers was pink. It was her favorite shirt.

The carnival had come to town, and both Josh and Sean had wanted to take Eleanor to have a nice day out. It hadn’t been too crowded, which was nice, and she was so excited by the prospect of rides and cotton candy.

She wore her pink bear shirt. Sean hadn’t shaved in a couple of days, because Eleanor had been having trouble sleeping. Because it was a carnival, he had decided to wear his old college jeans and his leather jacket. Josh was wearing earth tones because Sean found them becoming.

Eleanor wanted to ride everything. The carousel and the big slide and the Ferris Wheel and the Crazy Mouse roller coaster (which was child-appropriate because it didn’t move too fast and didn’t have big drops). On the bumper cars, Sean nestled her in his lap to make sure she didn’t get hurt, and Josh took her into the haunted house without Sean, because the telepath didn’t do haunted houses or horror movies.

Then she had wanted cotton candy, so Josh bought her a stick that had fluffy sugar twice as big as her head. Happily, she ate and held onto her Daddy’s hand until passing one of the game booths, which had a giant teddy bear as a prize; it was dressed in a little biker outfit. Her eyes went wide, because she just had to have that for her menagerie.

“Please?” She asked, and it was difficult for her Daddy to say “no,” particularly since the price for the game was only two dollars. So he sat down on the stool and set her in his lap; fortunately the “guns” were shaped more like hoses and only shot water, so he didn’t have to give a lecture about why violence was wrong.

Then, at the last minute, a group of men joined them, taking up five of the stools, all going to compete against her.

Josh and Sean shared a look, and they were prepared to explain that playing didn’t mean that they would win. However, they didn’t get the chance to explain, because the music started and the game began. Eleanor, with Sean’s hands steadying hers, gripped the hose tightly and aimed at the clown mouth; her balloon filled with water.

Then there was a loud pop, and somehow they had won. Eleanor grinned a big, wide grin as the game-master handed her the teddy bear.

The man on the stool beside them took a moment to study both Josh and Sean, looking from their builds to their ages to their clothing to their faces. He then went up to Sean and Josh. “Are you interested in a picnic?”

“Now?” Josh asked, blinking.

“Next weekend. Families are invited, and it’s local.”

“Sure,” Josh said. The other man reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded flyer, handing it to Josh with a smile and a wink.

Josh unfolded it, and Sean peered over his shoulder, before chuckling.

Green Mountain Bears Family Picnic it read; the bear flag was printed in the background.

“Well,” the telepath said, still smiling. “It looks like we have plans for next weekend.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

#43 – Wax

Beeswax dripped from the walls of the house, and the air was sweet with the aroma of honey. Honey in the kitchen, honey in the living room, honey in the dining room, honey in the den, honey in the family room, honey in the nook. Honey everywhere, just as it should be.

Throughout the house and outside, all of the workers and drones were gathering pollen and nectar. Everyone from Hammel: James and Chase, Clarisse, Anya, Mitya, John Thornton, Bradley, Debra and Walter Jenkins, Yulia, Kateri...and all past partners: Alex, Felicity, Sam, Maggie, Griffin Jones, Danny...even Simon and Saul and Sanjay and Greg. Everyone tended to their designated tasks of gathering food for the hive.

The steady buzzing of the work songs was calming and familiar, and Josh buzzed along as he moved through the house, watching everyone work. Occasionally, a dance would come down, communicating that the temperature needed to be changed in the house, and he would flap his wings to help cool the house. It was too hot in the summer, and the Queen had to be kept at a comfortable temperature at all times.

Greg stopped him in the den and handed him a bowl of nectar, before gesturing upstairs at the master bedroom. Josh buzzed his understanding; he was to bring the nectar up to feed the Queen.

Feeding the Queen was the second best of all assigned tasks. The best of all tasks was mating with the Queen, for which Josh had been lucky enough to have been chosen before. Afterward he had strutted more than was proper around the house, but the Queen had allowed it because it hadn’t interfered with his other assigned tasks.

Josh climbed the stairs with alacrity, not wishing to keep the Queen waiting. He walked down the long corridor to the master bedroom at the end of the hall, and he knocked before entering.

The Queen lay in bed, bouncing one of the hatchlings on his large abdomen; it was a female, possibly one who could become the new Queen many seasons from now. Josh couldn’t help but buzz with pride; he recognized that she was his. Well, all the hatchlings belonged to, and were from, the Queen, but he had helped.

“May I feed you?” He asked, holding the bowl up reverently.

The Queen turned to inspect him, and Josh was sure that he smiled at him. “Yes, you may.”

Josh beamed and settled himself on the edge of the bed. He took a spoonful of the nectar and brought it to the Queen’s mouth, and the Queen ate. He continued this ritual until the bowl was empty.

Then the Queen leaned over and touched his feelers to Josh’s, which caused him to buzz with pleasure. Although he knew it was silly to think this way, since they were a hive, he still couldn’t shake the thought that he was the Queen’s favorite; it was a thought that put a spring in his step.

The gentle moment was interrupted by the sudden shaking of the house. The Queen frowned and buzzed at him. “Protect the hive.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” Josh dropped the bowl and dashed out of the bedroom. He moved down the corridor and down the stairs, buzzing loudly and dancing wildly. Protect the Queen! Protect the Hive!

The other workers and drones armed themselves and readied their stingers. Most moved outside to swarm, a few fell back to guard the house, in case the perimeter was breached. But then, horribly, the top of the house was ripped open, and a large, brown, furry paw reached down and picked up the bed containing the Queen.

Sean!!!! Josh buzzed, flying up to rescue the Queen and the hatchling, but the paw swiped at him, tearing his wing and knocking him to the ground at alarming speed. The other workers and drones flew up to try to rescue, but Josh couldn’t help; his wings were broken. All he knew was crushing fear and pain.

*********************************

Josh woke with a start in bed, and he was momentarily worried, in that place between dreams and wakefulness, when he couldn’t feel his wings or two of his six limbs. Then full consciousness set in and he remembered that he wasn’t a bee.

Thankfully.

Not only wasn’t he a bee, but neither was Sean; and his partner was lying beside him in bed, deeply asleep. Their roof was in place, and the air didn’t smell of honey.

As Josh nestled up against the telepath, he inwardly resolved not to watch Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree with Eleanor for a while. They would just have to find another movie to watch for family night.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

#45 – Patent

There were so many positive aspects of no longer being on bed rest and recovery that Sean was loathe to choose one as the best. He was no longer confined to the upstairs floor of the house and could enjoy the kitchen, the living room, the den and the other rooms again. He didn’t get dizzy or nauseated the same way he had, and he felt that he had more energy. His abdomen didn’t hurt as much, although he’d been warned that the scar would be tender for a while yet. He could cook again, which was nice because he was tired of eating takeout and sandwiches, Pop Tarts and cereal. While appreciated that Josh took care of everything during his incapacity, he wanted to eat real food. He also valued his independence, and he wanted to ease the burden on his partner who had shouldered so many of the chores (the downstairs chores) since the C-section and return from the hospital.

Coinciding with his return to fully active life was the fact that the weather was nicer, and which gave him motivation to actually leave the house. Rather, more motivation than he already had from being confined for so long. Everything was blooming green, beautiful, and full of life.

Josh had a client meeting, and Sean decided to pass the time at the park. He dressed Eleanor in her purple onesie, grabbed her diaper bag, put her in her sling, and then took a leisurely stroll. Because it was a weekday, many of the people he knew in town were at work: either at Hammel or at their other businesses. Still, there were people out, and Sean would wave and smile, and they would wave or smile back.

After walking for a while, Eleanor began to fuss, and so he settled down on a bench. She was hungry, the telepath realized, so he pulled out one of the bottles he had brought with him and brought it to her lips. She immediately began to suckle, and he held the bottle steady for her and stroked her hair while she took her meal.

“I hope that isn’t formula.”

The telepath lifted his head to gaze at the source of the unfamiliar voice; a woman he had never seen before, who appeared to be in her early thirties. That she was unfamiliar wasn’t surprising; even though Pilot Ridge was a relatively small town, it also had a constantly shifting population due to Hammel and the nearby universities. “And if it is?”

“You shouldn’t give formula to baby that young; breast milk is better for her.” The woman didn’t hesitate to apply a gender to Eleanor, possibly because of the color of her onesie, and possibly because of her hair. She had a lot for a baby of only a few months’ age, and it was so dark and thick.

“Yes, but formula is an approved alternative. You’re arguing that someone shouldn’t eat oranges because blueberries have more antioxidants.” The telepath continued to hold Eleanor steady while she ate, oblivious to the conversation.

“Breast milk is the most natural thing to feed babies.” The woman said, not taking the hint. Sean had expected that she might pursue the argment, since he had chosen to engage her rather than ignore her. “At the very least, her mother should pump for her.”

“Pumping isn’t an option.” Not that it was this woman’s business, but Sean was taking this conversation in stride, as patient as he would be if this was a difficult session with a student at Hammel.

“In that case, perhaps she shouldn’t be away from her mother. It’s wonderful that you want to be involved in your granddaughter’s life-”

“She’s my daughter.”

The woman gave him a perplexed and unflattering look. Sean could hear the accompanying thought: that he was too old to be a father of a newborn, and that he had to have some young wife half his age at home and all of the typical judgments for that. It was one of the many, many consequences of having a child at his age, and, unlike Josh, actually looking his age. “For both her and her mother’s sakes, they shouldn’t be separated for that long. You can bond the three of you. And you’ll just have to wait a little longer for one-on-one bonding outside.”

The telepath found it somewhat remarkable that she had held her tongue to the extent she had, given that this stranger found it acceptable to comment on his feeding choices uninvited. He appreciated that as much as he could, given that she was grossly inaccurate assumptions about his family; and that she had interrupted Eleanor’s feeding time.

To that end, she stopped suckling the bottle. There was still a fair amount left, but he didn’t force her to take more than she wanted to. As such, he put the bottle down, placed a towel over his shoulder, and then gently lifted Eleanor from within the sling, moving her to lean against his chest while he patted her back to burp her. While he did so, he kept his attention on the woman standing a few feet away from the bench. “Her Papa gets plenty of bonding time with her, alone with her and together with both her and me” he said, while he continued to gently pat his daughter’s back.

The woman paused, processing that statement, before she came to the incorrect conclusion. Although it was a valid enough one, given how most male couples procreated. At least she had correctly deduced the fact that he was in a same-sex relationship. “That’s the problem with closed adoptions. It denies natural relationships between mother and child.”

Eleanor burped, and Sean smiled despite the conversation. He picked up the bottle again and brought it to her lips, but she refused to take it. Apparently she was full. He set it down again, and he kept her upright against his chest, waiting for her stomach to settle before he put her back in her sling. “I would never presume to know what works best for some families, since all families are different,” he replied. There were reasons for closed adoptions, and while he approved of the option of an open adoption and for those involved to set their own relationship parameters, not everyone was interested in such an arrangement.

Additionally, the benefits and drawbacks of different types of adoption had no bearing on his family.

The woman wouldn’t take the hint. In the back of his mind, Sean wondered if this is what arguing with Josh as a stranger was like; that was a perspective of his partner that he had never experienced. In this moment, he was grateful. She persisted, “Surely you admit that your relationship with your mother was beneficial.”

“My relationship with my mother isn’t a topic of debate.”

“But you want to deny your daughter the same relationship you had with your mother?” She asked. The lilt in her voice as though she had backed him into a corner reminded him of his sister, and there was little that would dampen his mood more than that mental comparison. Particularly with how Kathleen had reacted to the news of his daughter’s conception.

“My daughter has a very strong relationship with me, which was to be expected after the close quarters from medical restriction.”

“Medical restriction?” The woman looked confused; as she should be. Sean was not apologetic for that, since she had been arguing with him from a place of assumption and ignorance.

“Following the birth.” Unlike Josh, he felt no discomfort when discussing this period of his life, perhaps because it was his body; although, to his partner’s credit, the other man had seemed less uncomfortable since Eleanor had been born.

“The...birth?” That reaction was fair, given that not everyone had heard about the slew of pregnant men in Pilot Ridge; the telepath, for all of his participation in the Lamaze classes in Burlington, certainly hadn’t advertised, even if he also hadn’t hid it from those with whom he interacted.

For the first time in the conversation, Sean’s lips curled upward into a smile, albeit a small, almost self-deprecating one. “I have the scar to prove it, although I don’t show that off. As you can imagine, it’s still tender.”

...what?

Eleanor began to shift in his arms, indicating that she had had enough of leaning against him and that she wanted to go back into her sling. He accommodated her, shifting her in his arms to place her back in the sling where she could rest against his chest without being upright.

“So until someone invents and manufactures something that would allow me to breastfeed, it will have to be formula.” He shrugged with the shoulder not bearing the weight of the sling, as he folded the towel and placed both that and the bottle back in the diaper bag. “But that’s really nobody else’s business. Besides, this way both her Papa and I get to feed her.”

With the bag packed up, he hefted it with one hand, before rising to his feet. Eleanor shifted in her sling, and he adjusted it with his free hand to make sure that she was both secure and comfortable.

“I also hope that you don’t approach some of the other men in my age range who you might see out and about with young babies. Not everyone is as good-humored about criticism as I am.” That wasn’t said with a smile, but it was a genuine head’s up. For instance, Sean couldn’t imagine a scenario wherein Cobalt Weaver would take kindly to such comments. And the telepath couldn’t fault him for that, either.

With that, he turned to leave, so he and Eleanor could resume their walk and enjoy the fresh air. However, he stopped mid-stride and turned back. “And to answer your questions: exactly how you would expect, I am a ‘real man’, it isn’t your business, and I honestly can’t think of a better home for her than ours, where she is loved every minute of the day. Enjoy your afternoon.”

He left her there, someone confounded as to how he knew what she had been thinking. And once they were out of earshot, he resumed talking to Eleanor, as he had for most of the walk before they had been interrupted.

“I wish I could say that was a one-time occurrence, but I think that we’re going to have to get used to it.” He smiled down at her and stroked her hair with his free hand. “Not that it matters what other people think.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

#21-Born

Josh stared at the contents of the shelves in thinly-veiled awe. The store was unending: dozens if aisles lined with hundreds of shelves stacked with thousands of items that went on for as far as the eye could see.

“How are there this many things available?” He asked, wide-eyed. “Is all of this even necessary?”

“Obviously not all of it,” Sean replied. He’d picked up a registry checklist on the way inside, and he held it up to examine. Many of the items comported with his own mental list, because they were basics: a bassinette, a crib, bottles and rubber nipples (although the specific number was helpful), a car seat, a changing table, diapers, a stroller, pacifiers...and the list went on. Other items didn’t apply to their situation, such as the breast pump and nursing system.

Josh looked mystified.

“Let’s start with the necessities,” Sean offered, walking slowly through the aisles. Josh kept an eye on his partner, concerned as always for the older man’s balance.

Soon enough, they were in the crib section, faced with an array of choices. Many were listed as being convertible to toddler beds down the line, although that was a mindboggling thought. They weren’t even fathers yet, and to think of their baby being old enough to use a regular bed, as opposed to a crib made Sean feel even older than he was.

“I still don’t think this is a good idea,” Josh said as he peered at the crib that Sean had chosen to examine. Baby shopping set him ill-at-ease because it simply wasn’t done growing up, not until the baby had been born. It was considered bad luck, and while he tried not to allow himself to be ruled by superstitions – or worse, to be judged for being illogical – he couldn’t help the sinking feeling. There were reasons for certain customs, even if they couldn’t be articulated properly. The very last thing he wanted was for Sean to suffer a late-term miscarriage and to then be haunted by brand new baby items that they would never use.

The mere thought made him ill.

“I’m not going to argue about this,” the telepath replied, as he reached for the price tag on the crib; the price seemed reasonable in light of the comparison shopping he had done online before the excursion. “We’ve already been over this; I don’t feel comfortable waiting until after the birth to adapt the house.”

No cisgendered man had ever become pregnant before. Despite the rash of male pregnancies recently, Sean was still furthest along in gestation, and he had the earliest due date. Aside from requiring a C-section, nobody knew what the situation would entail: how long his recovery would be, what restrictions he would have. Thus far, both he and the baby were healthy, but there were too many unknowns to then include the additional stress of having to rush out and buy everything in order to bring their baby home from the hospital, and to have their home baby-proofed effectively. Doing so was too chaotic, and, in the present circumstance, would also involve making Josh responsible for all of that.

His same partner who panicked at the idea of Lamaze classes.

No, for Sean’s own peace of mind, he wanted to have everything in order before the C-section. Moreover, he thought it could be relaxing to buy baby items in an organized fashion; it was bonding time for Josh and himself, a way of feeling involved with their expanding family.

Then he felt pressure on his bladder.

“I need to go to the men’s room,” he whispered to the younger man, before handing him the checklist and pen. “Can you write down the model number for that crib and then meet me in the other part of the furniture section, where the changing tables are?”

“Do you want help?”

“No.” They had also discussed that many times. While Sean appreciated his partner’s attentiveness, he remained capable of relieving himself unassisted. The telepath then steadied himself against the crib before slowly walking off in the direction of the restroom.

Josh looked down at the crib and did what Sean asked of him. On the back of the paper, he copied the crib’s model number, as well as the price. On the other side of the tag was a list of recommended items, and he briefly scanned those. Most of them made sense, even if they weren’t things that he necessarily would have thought of without prompting. Like the mattress pad or whatever the sheet savers were.

Seeing a sign advertising them on a shelf, he walked over to examine them.

Those made sense.

They’d need at least one pack of those. Although all the ones he saw were pink, which bothered him. Why did every single baby item have to be gender-coded? Then he spied a green pack and he quickly grabbed those, tossing them into the basket before they could disappear.

The attorney took another minute to examine the wares in this aisle. The crib came with a mattress, and he assumed Sean probably had a preference for mattress pads. Josh wondered if the one on their bed came in crib sizes. If so, he had no reason to think they would buy another brand for their baby, since their mattress pad was so comfortable.

He peered down at the list. The bassinette was something that he couldn’t pick out without Sean’s input, even to try to save his partner the stress. Particularly since he thought that the telepath might be irritated with him over is reluctance to shop, even if Sean hadn’t said so outright.

Mobiles! He could pick one of those out.

Josh glanced around the aisle for a sign to no avail. Venturing into the next aisle, he found the appropriate section and smiled to himself. Plus, this was on the way to where the changing tables were located, so all the better; it was en route.

There were far more options than he had initially expected. Most looked similar: all involving some form of animal collection, although some were more diverse or fancier than others. Josh knew that Sean didn’t have preferences when it came to animals, since his partner bizarrely didn’t even have a favorite animal in the abstract. Bears, he supposed, although that was an inside joke. He also knew that his discomfort with animals didn’t extend to toys, given the pile of plush that was growing in the soon-to-be nursery. That gave the attorney carte blanche.

Initially nothing tickled his fancy, because they were all similar, and -as with everything else – many of the mobiles were gender-coded. Flowers and butterflies for girls, and what looked like reptiles for boys. Then he saw it.

Rabbits. White and brown bunnies, each with a little bow around its neck a different color, and a carrot in the middle. One was pink and one was purple, but there was also a green, a yellow, and a blue. Most importantly, they were rabbits.

He could tolerate pink for that.

Reaching for the box, he quickly read the battery information. It moved, as it should, and it supposedly also played music. There was some instruction there about a potential light projection too, which was fancier than he had expected. The price tag reflected that.

Then again, Josh didn’t know what was appropriate for a mobile, and he was willing to spend that much. It didn’t seem totally unreasonable, given the cost of some of the other items in the aisle.

Just as he was turning to go, Sean walked by on his way to the changing tables. “What do you have there?” The telepath inquired, trying to peer over Josh’s shoulder without leaning in too much.

The younger man held the mobile up so that his partner could see. “What do you think?”

Sean studied it for a moment, making mental note of the animal theme. Then he glanced over at Josh. “Do you like that one?”

“I do,” the attorney nodded adamantly.

“Then let’s get it.” Not only did the telepath lack a preference, but he was also simply grateful that Josh had picked out something of his own volition, without an anxious argument. Sean then held his hand out to his partner to take back the list. “Let’s go choose a changing table.”

[Dr. Sean Neville]

#27 – Winter

Kindergarten existed in a state of twilight between preschool and the numbered grades. Unlike preschool, kindergarteners attended the local Pilot Ridge Elementary School, and they could use the regular buses instead of the smaller preschool buses. Kindergarteners even had homework to complete, although the older grades wouldn’t consider it as such. Unlike the numbered grades, kindergarten classes still benefitted from dedicated nap time and dedicated snack time, in addition to the daily recess and lunch break. Additionally, the kindergarten classrooms were filled with toys.

Eleanor loved kindergarten. She got on well with her teacher, and she loved being able to play with her friends. She loved to learn. She enjoyed listening to stories at story time. She enjoyed running around outside during recess. She enjoyed all of the toys; her parents bought her many toys, but it was impossible to have as many, and to have all of the same types, as were in the classroom. She liked taking her turn as Snack Monitor and handing out the crackers and milk to all of the other kids.

So she was sad when she woke up one morning to find snow on the ground, piled so high that it reached the windows on the first floor of her house.

Her Daddy told her that there was no school that day. Then he tried to cheer her up by making hot cocoa and French toast sticks for breakfast. Daddy’s school had been canceled for the day too, and he said that the courts had closed down, so Papa would also be home with them.

That made it better, even if she had wanted to go to school and play with her friends.

After breakfast and washing up to get the syrup and strawberry juice off her face and fingers, she disappeared into the den to color. After making a few pictures, she went to ask her Daddy if they could watch a movie. He let her watch movies and television, but either Papa or Daddy had to be in the room with her while she did.

They decided to have a family movie, and so she was allowed to pick from any of her collection. Papa made popcorn. Then they all settled in together on the sofa to watch Beauty and the Beast which was one of her favorites.

She sang along to Be Our Guest. Papa sang too, and Daddy hummed. He rarely sang, usually only for lullabies.

By lunch, it had stopped snowing, although there were a couple of feet in the streets and on the lawn. “Can I go outside?” Eleanor asked, staring at the white fluff through the kitchen window.

Daddy and Papa shared a look, and then Daddy nodded. “After we do the dishes.”

Her parents did the dishes together, and then Daddy helped her sweater and her parka, while Papa helped her put on her snow boots. Then her mittens and her scarf, and her hat to cover her long hair, which was then tucked into the hood of her jacket.

Then her parents each donned their coats and pulled on their boots and gloves. “Are you ready?” Papa asked her when they were dressed.

She shook her head.

“What’s wrong?”

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

Papa scrunched his face, bewildered at why she hadn’t mentioned this before getting dressed . Daddy simply took her hand and brought her to the bathroom, helped her take off her scarf, parka, mittens, and snow boots, and then waited for her outside the door.

When she came back out, he asked, “Are you ready now?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Her parents helped her get dressed a second time, and then brought her out into the snow-scape that was their yard.

“What do you want to do?” Papa asked her.

“Let’s make a snowman.”

“How about a snow family?” Daddy suggested, and Eleanor nodded enthusiastically.

“We’ll start with snow-Eleanor first,” Papa suggested, and she smiled up at both of them. Then she began to roll the snow into a ball to try to make a head.

Missing school wasn’t so bad after all.