To Get Better, You Have to Get Worse

[Horus Richmond]

Life was on the up and up.

Horus had heard from Elliot that his application to transfer to the University of Vermont had been accepted and they were just waiting for the transferal documents to come through with visa papers. He was now living with his family. Sett was just as awesome as he always was, with his epic ideas and cuddles. Ra was a stick in the mud like he always was, but he was alright really, and then there was Sakhmet's delicious dinners. Such good food. ALL the time.

And his room was super.

Crimson was up on his bed watching the TV - wonderful English comedy Run Fatboy Run. The dog clearly already had great taste. But it was so frickin' hot in Pilot Ridge today! Horus was strutting around in his PJ bottoms fanning his chest while reciting the words to the film as if he knew it by heart.

Peering out of the attic window and flopping out of it, looking down onto the street below. If he craned his neck he could just about see Downtown and he reckoned he could spot Fifi and Moe doing some shopping or other girly crap. He heaved a contented sigh and looked over the road as a small group of girls trotted together, all dressed up. Scratching his chest, he enjoyed the breeze on his overheated skin and grinned wonkily.

The grin died quickly when he heard a voice shouting up at him. "HEY! Hey you!" One of the girls. Huh.

"Yeah?" Horus said, frowning and leaning out.

"Put a fucking shirt on FATASS. No one wants to see your sweaty rolls!" Another girl hollered, and the group laughed, disappearing down the street with a laugh.

Withdrawing quickly, Horus took a deep breath. They didn't know him. Remember what Sean said. People just said hurtful things because... because...

Because they were true.

Horus froze.

Gritting his teeth, he caught his reflection in the mirror.

Fat ass. Fat. Whale.

He stepped closer to the mirror and grabbed at his stomach. It felt like it went on forever. There were meters of flab just pinched between his fingertips.

FAT. FAT. WHALE. FAT.

The words spun in his head so much that he let out a howl of pain and slammed his fists with full strength into the mirror, ignoring the shards of glass digging deep into his skin and wrists. Crimson looked up and whined instinctively, running to his master's side and nosing his side.

Horus' teeth grit as he looked down at the dog. "S'okay boy." He said quietly, slamming the trapdoor shut and bolting it, ignoring the blood running down his fingers and splatting on the laminate floor.

You only have a boyfriend because he feels sorry for your fat ass.

The blonde stepped over the mirror pieces, not even feeling a few digging into his soles as he stepped on the scales. Through the blur of tears, he saw the numbers roll up and up. 180lbs. 240lbs. 360lbs. 400lbs.

It was a lie, and anyone else would have seen that, anyone would have noticed that Horus was seeing numbers that weren't there. But the boy, who had thought this was all over now, just threw the scales, hitting his head against the wall. Stupid. Stupid fat ugly little bitch.

That's right.

Dragging himself back onto the bed, he found himself laughing hysterically at the irony of the movie. Run Fatboy Run. Fatboy. He was Fatboy and no one would ever want him for him. He was fat. His fingers twitched to go to his mouth, but he resisted it. Acid would hurt his teeth. Burn his throat.

Shaking uncontrollably, he resigned himself to this one fact. He'd never eat a scrap till he lost all the fat on his body. Or he'd score it off. One piece at a time.

Crimson, who had been following his master around with loud whining, flopped beside Horus on the bed and rested his head on the pillow. The blonde curled his fingers in the dog's fur and began to cry, nuzzling up against him as pools of blood stained the sheets and matted the mutt's coat.

"'m sorry Crim. I jus' ... I ain't good enough. F'anyone. An'... an' ... 'm gonna get thinner. ... 'cause I can't stand this any more."

There was a sad whine in response, and the boy stilled, feeling weird from the emotional outburst and the pain of the deep cuts in his hands and wrists. Crimson lifted his head and licked at the boy's face, trying to soothe him, ears pinned flat against his skull. He could tell there was something very very wrong, but he was loyal, and he wouldn't leave his hurting master's side. As if in a trance, Horus just kept whispering to the dog over and over.

"'m sorry. 'm s'sorry."

Ugly.

[Sett Richmond]

Sett was a light sleeper. Always had been since he was a kid. Even the slightest noise like scuffling on hardwood floor could wake him up. But it wasn't scuffling that woke him up. It was the voice of two gratingly annoying teenage girls that wrestled him out of bed. His keen sense of hearing picked up choice words and immediately a hot ball of rage started to grow in him, egging his shift to overwhelm him.

Throwing the sheets off him, he grabbed the nearest pair of pants and raced upstairs to open the door to find the two girls who started simpering when they found him half naked. But it quickly changed when they saw the enraged expression on his face. "Get. Off. Our. Property." He growled, inching closer to them, the corner of his eyes twitching as he tried his best not to shift. The girls did not need another invitation as they ran off.

He picked up on shattering glass upstairs and his breath hitched. Where was everybody?

Slamming the front door, he quickly ran up the stairs, taking them two by two up the attic. The trapdoor was closed. "Horus! Open the door!" Sett hollered but nobody answered. He could hear Horus' new mutt whimpering and he started to worry. He tried to take deep calming breaths but that only served to make him angrier so he banged on Anubis' door. "Nub, open up. I need you to help me open Horus' door. Come on Nub!" he continued banging on his baby brother's door.

[Sakhmet Richmond]

It had only been a few days since Ra and Isis had flown back to England, but already there was a collective sigh of relief throughout the Richmond house. Ra was loved, but he wasn't quite as relaxed as his siblings,and his presence tended to put a cramp in his younger brothers' casual, uncouth style.

Sakhmet adored Ra, having been very nearly raised by him, and while on the one hand she had been sad to see him leave, on the other hand she wasn't at all sure how he would react to Delilah. He had almost discovered her presence once, and she'd just about died.

So it was with a conflicted heart that she vacuumed the living room, ignoring the sounds of shouting coming from the lawn, because this was the Richmond house and there was always shouting on the lawn. She couldn't make out words over the noise of th vacuum, but she wasn't curious enough to shut it off; it probably involved one of her brothers being ridiculous again.

The sound of shattering glass was faint, and she almost wasn't sure she'd heard anything at all. In fact, she would have dismissed it as her imagination if it hadn't been followed by a combination of furious shouting and banging from Sett, and whimpering that sounded suspiciously like Crimson.

She shut off the vacuum, pushing it to one side of the room where people were unlikely to trip over the cord, and squinted up at the ceiling. There was definitely shouting going on up there.

She quietly padded over toward the stairs, stepping around the two cats who had come out of hiding now that the vacuum monster was no longer hunting, and began to make her way up.

"Sett?" She called, her voice trembling with worry. It was very much like him to make a racket at all hours of the day and night, but the tone he was using was one she rarely heard. She couldn't make out the words, but her stomach clenched in trepidation. "Sett, what's going on?"

[Anubis Richmond]

Anubis wasn't so much a heavy sleeper as he was one to sleep until late afternoon if no one bugged him. If he was cozy in bed (and he was, hugging the pillow that smelled ever so faintly like Zac) he'd stay there as long as he could before one of his brothers came barging in. Sakhmet was at least polite enough to knock instead of barreling straight through the door and that was how Anubis knew before Sett even said anything that it was not her that was trying to wake him.

At first, Nub just groaned and buried his face in the pillow to try to shut out the shouting and the slamming, but then he heard Horus' name and he sat upright in bed. Though Horus really hadn't shown any serious problems since they'd moved here, it was still in the back of his head that his baby brother wasn't right. Horus was the reason they'd packed up and traveled halfway across the planet (okay, so maybe it wasn't that far, but it had felt like it on the plane) and if something was wrong with his Bubba, then he had to fix it.

"Coming!" Nub mumbled back, still a little disoriented, and tangled his sheets around his feet in his attempts to get out of bed. He tripped into his own door and opened it to stop Sett's incessant pounding, looking up at his brother and his sister. "What's going on?" Whatever it was, Anu could tell just from their faces that it wasn't good. He looked down the hallway towards the trapdoor that led up to Horus' room. "If you get me a screwdriver and a bobby pin, I can probably pick it." Ah, the perks of being a kleptomaniac.

[Horus Richmond]

Horus was lying, half conscious on the bed with his eyes closed. He could dimly hear the shouting from downstairs, but chose to ignore it, instead just lying and cuddling closer to Crimson. The dog, however, was alert and worried, his body tensed as he heard the Richmonds panic over his master. When Horus began stiller still, Crim leapt off and began digging at the trapdoor, whining loudly. He needed to get help, why was his master not letting others in?

Heaving a quiet sigh, Horus managed to turn his head over at his dog and slur out "S'okay boy." He reached out to pet the dog with a bloody hand, then let out a quiet sigh and lay still. He was dimly aware that his sounds were becoming dimmer and dimmer, and he frowned - he couldn't DIE, not without telling Elliot he loved him. So he lay there, resolutely telling himself not to die just yet because there were important things he needed to do.

But he felt heavy with the pain and stress, and felt SO tired. He lifted his arms slowly to inspect the damage. Blood was pissing out of both hands and wrists, and he could faintly see glimmers of mirror shards under his skin. Disgusting. Just like how he felt. Horus tried to lift off the bed to delay his brothers, trying to shout out. But what was meant as "I'm fine" came out as:

"'mfinnnn." Less convincing than he hoped. And with that little bit of effort, Horus blacked out on the bed.

[Sakhmet Richmond]

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what's going on," Sakhmet began wringing her hands together, voice taking on a frantic, high pitch of distress. She didn't know, but they were congregating below the attic, and there had been yelling and Sett was upset, and Horus had been so ill before they came. She'd thought he'd been improving, but evidently he'd only managed to hide just how bad off he was.

At the request for a bobby pin she took off down the hall once more, toward her room. If Delilah was there she didn't notice, all her focus on finding a bobby pin for Nub so that they could rescue Horus from....from....

She didn't know what, but the way her stomach was churning she was certain he was in danger.

She made a beeline for her bathroom, opening the top drawer beneath the sink and pulling out a case of bobby pins. She was in too much of a hurry to bother claiming just one, instead taking the whole case with her as she raced out of the room and back toward her brothers, panting not through exertion but anxiety.

"Here," She held the case out to Anubis, face contorted in impatient worry. "Please, please, he has to be fine."

[Sett Richmond]

Sett wasn't thinking straight as one after another his younger siblings popped out. His hand was trembling as Sakhmet handed over a bobby pin to Anubis. He pulled Sakhmet toward him, rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her nerves. This was so not what he was good at. This was Ra's territory yet he was gone. Sett had to take charge.

Crimson's whining was not helping Sett think straight though. He tried taking deep breaths as he hoisted Anubis up on to his shoulder and maneuvered both of them over to where the trap door was and let him do his magic. Once the trap door fell open, Sett carefully deposited his brother on the floor and ran up to see blood everywhere and Horus lying on his bed, not moving.

"Fuck. fuck!" Sett scooped Horus up and yelled at his siblings to stay downstairs as he rushed down the stairs with Horus in his arms. "Get towels, sop up as much blood as possible. I'm calling an ambulance. Try to wake him up." Sett rushed down to his room after lying Horus down on the living room rug.

Finding his phone, he dialled 999. When he got the dial tone, he swore and tried again. After four times of getting the engaged tone, he slammed the phone on his bed and ran upstairs. "What the fuck kind of backward slum is this fucking country, not having a fucking emergency number?" He yelled as he looked at both his younger siblings, looking for an answer. "How the hell are we supposed to bring him to the hospital? I don't have my car!" Sett yelled. Huggles trotted in and sniffed about until he saw Crimson, nudging the mangy dog's matted fur in curiosity.

[Anubis Richmond]

Once supplied with the necessary tools and lifted up on Sett's shoulders, Nub's tongue poked out from between his teeth as he focused on his task. His still sleep-fogged body was a little sluggish and his fingers slipped on the bobby pin a few times before he finally managed to find his groove, moving the pin and the screwdriver in unison until he found just the right combination and the trap door fell open. It was then that his nerves actually kicked in and he dropped the screwdriver as well when Sett came thundering down with their unconscious baby brother draped across his arms.

There wasn't much time to think as Nub rushed to the linen closet to grab an armful of towels. He'd seen the blood that covered his Bubba's hands, he'd heard the worry in Sett's voice, he was on the verge of panic, but his body seemed to move all on its own. He ran back and passed some of the towels to his sister, looking at the wounds to make sure there were no offending pieces of glass stuck in them before he tried to press the towels to them. "Bubba? Bubba, please wake up." His voice was hoarse, tight with worry, and his eyes burned.

Anubis touched at Horus' face, chewed on his lip, then cringed when Sett swore. He looked to Sakhmet for answers, as if the only (usually) calm and collected member of the family would have all of them, when something struck him. "It's different! It's... it's..." But that was as far as he could get, his brain refusing to cooperate with him as he looked down at his brother.

"I don't remember..." He admitted pathetically, pushing Horus' hair away from his eyes as he once again tried to wake his brother.

[Horus Richmond]

Horus couldn't remember the last time he'd been unconscious and not become sleep aware. If he'd been in any state to notice, he probably would have enjoyed the lack of outer-body experience and happily lain there feeling strangely cool and as though his body were weightless. As it was, he was out for the count even as Sett lay his body down on the carpet. Crimson came to lie beside him defensively, and whined low in his throat at the stressed sounds from his other masters.

After a few minutes floating on a blissful wave of unconsciousness, he opened one eye and let out a weak groan. His body felt like it wasn't his own right now, and his breathing was weak. He heard both brothers stress about the telephone number and, if he'd had the strength he would have facepalmed. Instead, he parted his lips and mumbled, "S'fuckn 911 guys." And that was all he could offer in his state. Mostly it felt like someone was tuning a TV. The screen would fuzz over and go black for some time, then reception would pick up a channel and he could tune in to what his siblings were saying.

"notgonnthspitl." He grumbled faintly, managing the weakest of glares at Anubis, before flopping back into that lovely floaty darkness that felt so soothing and cool. The coolness, as anyone would know, was that feeling of blood loss, and the floatiness... well. Lets leave it at that. Crimson continued to pine and lick at Huggles' face, a worried mutt indeed. At least the blood semi-camouflaged in with his lovely red-gold fur. He'd need a bath after all this drama was over, no doubt.

[Sakhmet Richmond]

Sakhmet leaned into the back rub momentarily, breathing deeply in an effort to calm herself. Horus needed her to be calm, needed her to think straight.

She knelt down beside Anubis as Sett flung himself back through the attic trapdoor, gently dabbing at Horus' face with one of the washcloths her older brother had returned with. "Oh, Horus," She sighed sadly. He looked a heart-breaking mess; she hoped the ambulance would arrive soon and strained to hear the sound of sirens, but none came.

Her hopes that she would hear them any minute now were dashed by Sett's return, complete with cursing that he didn't remember the American emergency number. Anubis couldn't, either, and honestly....neither could she. As calm as she was trying to make herself, the whining of Crimson and worry for her brother made thinking clearly difficult. Perhaps she should have spent more time drilling that number into her brain.

Mercifully, Horus was just conscious enough to whisper the number to them, and she smoothed back his hair, ignoring his imploring wish to stay out of the hospital. He was clearly ill, he was in no fit state to make that decision.

"Don't worry, duck, you'll be fine," She whispered, pushing herself up. "I'll call the ambulance. Don't move him around too much." She ordered, dropping down the ladder and into the hall so that she could find her own cell and call 911.

She had the phone in her hand when she returned, having given very explicit directions and expecting that they might need to call again, or have the phone on hand if the operator needed to call back (she wasn't sure how that worked, to be honest) .

"They're on their way." She sighed, and she sat back down beside her brothers. "Hang in there, Russ."

[Sett Richmond]

Sett could only calm down a second when Sakhmet came back with good news about the ambulance. He was still pissed that he didn't remember the number. And then he got pissed that they had two different numbers for emergencies. Shouldn't it be globally the same? It didn't make an ounce of sense.

All the while, Sett was sure Horus was losing way too much blood. If only Thomas was around... Shit, not the time to think about the younger man. Sett could only stand around until he heard the sirens. "I'll get the door." Sett scrambled off the floor and practically flew down the stairs to open the door. He ushered the EMTs into the house and up the stairs, pointing to where they had put Horus.

As he was wheeled away, he looked at his younger siblings and sighed, the sound choking in his throat. "One of us should go with him...I...I think maybe Sakhy you come with me. A - Anu, you go with them." Sett stammered, thinking that should be the best plan.

[Anubis Richmond]

Anubis had never been more grateful for anything than when the paramedics arrived to take care of their baby brother. He chewed on his bottom lip, stepping back as they surrounded Horus and worked to stabilize him, lifting him onto a stretcher to carry him down the stairs. Anubis followed because he didn't know what else to do. Horus was hurt, Sett and Sakhmet were panicking, and Nub just wanted it all to stop.

He paused when Sett spoke again, glad that he was the one chosen to ride in the ambulance with their youngest brother. "I'll... I'll see you both there, okay?" He ran to give the both of them a hug. "Bubba will be okay." He said, trying to convince himself just as much as his siblings, before running out the door after the paramedics.

They ushered him on board the ambulance, where he sat on the bench by Horus' head. His heart was still pounding away in his chest, but at least with the medical expertise of the EMT's there, he knew that Horus was in good hands.

[and that's a wrap]