Comically Aligned (tag: Roman)

Roman’s schedule at Maddock had often gone askew, depending on the needs of his patients, and emergencies. As such, he’d often had random days or hours off. Now he was working with Ben in a private setting, however... well... having relative control over your schedule was fantastic.

Of course, it also meant that he could do things like take long lunch breaks and invade comic book stores. Maybe he’d pick up another Angry Bird to add to his growing pile, or another pig to throw them at. Or at Ben. MATURITY WHAT WAS THAT?

It was no wonder their receptionist probably wanted to strangle them both at times. They were grown men that routinely engaged in things like Battleship wars on the floor, or adding to their Angry Birds scoreboard on the wall. It was a good thing they were capable of acting like adults during sessions, or no one in their right minds would ever seek their help.

The therapist swung into the comic store, bouncing first to the wall of new arrivals before making his way through the toys and models. He could see at least half a dozen things he wanted, plus a few more he could see picking up for his best friend. Or Isaac. Despite being in college now, his cousin could always use another thing to decorate his room, or fuel his inner nerd.

If Kiko knew he was knocking off of work a bit to fuel his inner nerd, she’d probably smack him and tell him to get his butt back to the office. This was why he was glad that she was at Maddock, and unless she outright called the office instead of his cell, she’d never know. Five minutes away from the office wouldn’t kill him, right?

As he walked by the figures, he realized that someone his own age was also in the store. For once he wasn’t surrounded by rabid teenagers. Better yet, he was looking at the models in a way that Rome recognized. Without even thinking that he probably looked like a poorly dressed University student, he grinned and nudged the Nightwing model. “Nice one, hey?” He had more video game themed stuff around his apartment – particularly Zelda and Final Fantasy. Which reminded him. Hello, Lightning figure. “Where did you escape from?” He grinned and looked around the store in an obvious way before lowering his voice. “Don’t tell my boss, but I’m skipping work. ... Actually, boss won’t care. Don’t tell my fiancée.”

Yes, Rome. Invite trouble. Bravo.

Oh em gee, this guy got it. It was all Rome could do to not break out in dance in the aisle. Sometimes the teens in the store gave him looks, and if he was so inclined he'd brush it off as a purchase for a niece or nephew. Today, however? He was taking all of the credit. Pretending like he had the smallest amount of class, he rocked back on his heels and pressed his fingers to his chin. "Yes, yes. Very nice articulation, and the paintwork is just fabulous." This. This was probably exactly why his best friend liked to mock him. He had to stop and laugh, though. "That's a great idea. My sisters think they're toys." And he wasn't going to get into what Kiko and James called them. Grinning, Rome held out his hand. "I'm Roman. And you're awesome."

And he was made even cooler at the response he got about escaping. "Yeah, but I won't tell." Not when this promised to be so much fun.

Rome grinned easily and shook his head. "No, not surgery. Just playing hookey until my next session. Whiiiich..." He glanced at his watch. "Is in about an hour." In his mind he was better off at the comic store than doing something responsible. Like paperwork.

Ferris had it right. Rome nodded and tried not to roll his eyes. "She calls them toys. Not sure she'd go for the home defense system either, but it's worth a shot." He just had to move them around. Maybe Auron for the Xbox, and Rayman for the Wii? Yeah.

He honestly didn't know if Kiko was the jealous type, nor did he want to test that. Still... "She'd probably take the bait if it was a cute animal. We play Animal Crossing together all the time. She doesn't like the Rayman Raving Rabbids though, which is tragic. They're kind of cute. ... And hilarious." Just because they indulged in a little toilet humor from time to time wasn't terrible, right? Right. Still. She might like the idea if he set a guard by her jewelry or something. "Help me find something cute? I have to try this." Thank you, Ferris. Let's just add to his inner nerd.

Right. Lightning. Roman pulled the figure from the shelf and studied it. "Yeah, but she kicked ass, so no one cared about her hair. Final Fantasy likes doing that. There was a crazy bad guy with blue hair in the tenth one." Seymour had been lame, though. "And a girl with legit bunny ears in twelve." Why no, he wasn't a fanboy, why do you ask? "You play?"

Okay, Ferris was officially one of the coolest people Rome had ever met. He grinned at him and slipped out of his pseudo-art appreciation pose. “You think if we call them fine art people might understand?” Probably not. Not that he really cared. He’d reassured his cousin many times that being a geek even into adulthood wasn’t a terrible thing. You just had to deal with some odd looks.

He couldn’t help it. He had to laugh at Ferris’ assessment of women. “Yeah, that would be my oldest sister right there. Except it’s these glass-y crystal-y... things.” Which he didn’t get. She stuck them on windowsills, and some were in the china cabinet with things she never used... yet she was the one giving him heck over a few figures here and there. “The younger one sort of gets it. At least she tries.”

And now he had a name to match to the face. Hopefully Ferris hadn’t been in town long, else he might have sulked at the idea of not having met him earlier in life. He was exactly nothing like his best friend, but that was okay. He was someone older than Isaac who could talk comics and gaming. He was also someone Rome figured he could act like a teenager around without being told to grow up. Kiko tolerated his mischief, especially if Isaac was nearby, but even she had her limits and asked him to stop it now and again. Usually when wedding plans were involved.

He made a face at the idea of being in Congress and shook his head vigorously. “No way. I’d probably die. I’m a therapist. Uh. For kids.” Who used their proper titles, really? “I guess I should be back before then, or our secretary might skin me. Probably alive.” Between him and Ben, it was no wonder she had been referring to the job as ‘babysitting’ lately.

Ferris was remarkably creative with this kind of thing. Rome gave it some thought before shaking his head. “She’d probably tell me if that was the case to put them all away and not to play with them.” Which he didn’t do. ... That often. What fun were they if you couldn’t play with them? James had his Lord of the Rings maps and figures and acted out epic battles on the living room floor. What was the difference between that and action figures?

Not liking Rabbids was tragic, yes. “She did like them. Until we got into games like Burp in the one set in the mall. Theeeen they weren’t so funny and cute anymore.” Personally, he didn’t think they got any better than when they were performing toilet humor. Maybe that was the immature part of him. Just to be obnoxious, he had a Rabbit on his nightstand, on top of his alarm clock.

His attention was rather quickly gained when Ferris called out, and he had to grin. Domo was awesome, always. “She does like fuzzy things.” He took it and looked it over. Fairly cute, and if he told her it was to guard her ring, or something, she might just buy it. “This is totally coming home.” Just add to his pile, Ferris, thanks. “I live with her disdain over FPS games and stuff. She puts up with me, so I’m keeping her.”

The assessment of Lightning’s hair was... well, accurate. The Final Fantasy franchise liked to give characters insane hair that stayed perfect, no matter what was happening. Or outfits that had no business being on a cross country pilgrimage, Lulu. “Zelda’s always a classic,” he said with approval. “Every time they revamp it gets better and better.” As for where to start... “Depends what system you’re running. ... Or systems. There’s some great ones out there right now. I could even lend you some if you wanted?” What was unusual about offers of game trades with someone you barely knew? Nothing, apparently.

“Hmm. Death by stoning... not quite the hero’s death I’d imagined.” Because dying like he tended to do in his games was so much better. But hey, when you were killed by a giant monster, it was pretty cool. If frustrating. Of course, if Rome had his way he’d probably die on his couch, or on his floor, defeating some final boss on a game. ... Priorities, what were those?

Roman understood his sister’s stupid crystal animal collection about as well as she did his stacks of video games. Very little. He understood on some level that they were pretty, yes. But beyond that? Expensive paperweights. Expensive paperweights that she threatened your life over if you so much as looked at one the wrong way. “She doesn’t get it. At least action figures and games are, y’know, fun. Her stupid glass things are expensive paperweights.” Too bad he’d never actually said that to her face. He’d probably have a lasting black eye.

He screwed up his face as Ferris took his secretary’s side. “Don’t joke, she would.” Probably. If he and Ben actually pushed her to that level of annoyed. “... I never thought of that. It’s genius!” He did have a few comics in his office. He also had board games and puzzles. Anything to help the kids open up.

Ferris made excellent points. If only he could drag him home and help present them to Kiko. Granted, she was tolerant of most things he did. And with his help with the wedding plans, she tended to let him slink off once he’d made some input. “You should have been a lawyer. This is great.” He should have started taking notes.

“I know, right? Rabbids are made for that.” As well as hitting, yelling, and general misbehaviour. “At least my cousin likes them.” Someone needed to respect the art that was Raving Rabbids.

“It might not be a stuffed animal, but he’s fuzzy. And with all the crap she puts up with from me, I don’t think a stuffed animal collection would be terrible. ... And it’s preferable to glassy crystal animals.” God help him if Cassidy ever got her into those.

“Zelda’s Ocarina of Time. That’s the best, right there.” He had a special fondness for his Nintendo 64. “Of course, Pokemon Stadium is also a classic.” And still fun to crush people at, even if his nieces and nephew had no idea what it was or how wildly popular it had once been.

Rome was actually rather impressed by Ferris’ collection. It was up there with his own. Except he had the Nintendo 64 in there, as well as a Playstation 3. And his 3DS. “All mine are what you would call well loved.” Meaning he’d played the crap out of most of them. He was always shocked that his poor Super Nintendo actually still worked when he wanted a little nostalgia. “You need to hook them up. All of them. Like... today.” Yes, it was that imperative.

He had to think about his current inventory, and what Isaac might have at college from his stash. “Well, not all of them let you show people around. Except Final Fantasy Eleven. It’s a really weird online community, instead of the traditional linear play.” He hadn’t been a huge fan, but it had grown on him. “I could show you around in Halo or Call of Duty, no problem, though.” He liked the co-op missions. “Are you set up with an Xbox live account yet?” He was fine with giving out his username. He actually had half a mind to make friends and drag Ferris over to raid his collection. Just... not when he had to go back to work in a bit. There was time to kill in a comic store, not in rushing home.

“Mn, probably not. I’d rather... y’ know. Smacked down by a dragon while defending some defenceless maiden. That’s the way to go.” Yes, that was a hero’s death in his mind. Rome needed a serious smack of reality.

“No, no fancy bowls. Just the crystal animals that no one’s allowed to touch. I’ve suggested using them as paperweights, and she just hits me.” Cassidy was mean sometimes. “I don’t know how she got so weird. Our other sister is totally normal. She kind of gets the gaming, and she doesn’t own crystal stuff.” Of course, she also had a one year old baby in the house, so crystal probably wasn’t the best choice of collectable. How Cassy’s collection had survived three kids, he had no idea.

He grinned and shook his head. “I think the bar needs someone like you. We need more sane lawyers around here.”

Domo would indeed be a hardy little guard for Kiko’s ring. He was perfect, really. And he’d survive any fights he and his little cousin would get into. Things tended to get flung around when Isaac was over. He’d just have to make sure Domo stayed at the apartment, rather than wandering off in Isaac’s pocket. “Ugh. I think Cass makes her kids help clean them, or something. God help me if her daughters get into it too.” At least his nephew was probably safe. Jordan was more into Star Wars and that kind of stuff. Cool things.

“WHAT.” Rome gave him a baleful look. “You... no. That has to change. You have to play through at least Red or Blue to call yourself a gamer.” Or, you know. Red, Blue, Yellow, ensure you have all one hundred and fifty of the little guys, repeat with the rest of the games forever. Yeah, he’d done it. And he was proud of it. “Pokemon is just... it’s a staple in the gaming world.” In other words, he would be lending Ferris at least the first few to get him started.

“You’ll like it if you play through it. It’s pretty great. I can show you ways not to die.” Read: cheats he has employed numerous times. Hey, if no one expected you to play dirty, no one would have made cheats possible in the early games. “You should try Conker’s Bad Fur Day too. Lots of English humor, and bad toilet jokes. Think Rabbits devolved. ... It involves a squirrel with ah angover. Seriously, best N64 game ever.” And one he had yet to make Isaac appreciate.

“Oh, screw the minions. Call in dead.” He grinned. “Or sick. Whatever works. Then you have a whole day to play.” Clearly, he’d done this before. Only it had never been for work. Mostly for classes, especially in university. “Of course, the naked on a pole look is in right now.. And truthfully, my secretary would probably do the same if I tried it.”

He didn’t want to think about that. He was pretty sure that Ben wouldn’t appreciate the naked on a pole look first thing in the morning.

“Halo’s awesome if you have someone to co-op with. My cousin’s usually my right hand man, but he’s been busy with college.” He could always use another person to co-op with. Once he showed him the ropes of online maps, they could probably dominate. “Once you get everything set up, you’ll have to add me. My tag’s, uh... I’d probably have to write it down for you. Had to get creative.” It was ‘trustmeimadr’, but saying it and spelling it how Microsoft had allowed were two very different things.

“Domo has friends,” he assured, shifting his things to show his loot. “Spiderman comics. I still need to hit the graphic novels. New Naruto issue this month. And, uh, Domo. And Lightning.” He needed her. To... guard... the cereal. Or something. Maybe the dvd player. As for Ferris’ loot, he grinned. “Flash, nice. You, my friend, have taste.”

Rome laughed and shook his head. “If you want one, I’d give away Cassidy any day. You’d just need to listen to her nagging.” He loved his sister, but that didn’t always mean that he liked her. Jilly, on the other hand, he always liked. Of course, she was normal. Well. As normal as siblings went.

“Lawyers in general seem to be nuts. It’s a profession thing, I think. You have to be at least a little bit crazy to want to go into the field.” Though he knew the medical profession’s laws inside out and backwards, laws for everything and how to fight them... made his head spin. He’d stick to helping kids, thank you very much.

“Yeah, her son isn’t a fan of them. At all.” Jordan was more into hitting things with sticks, and Star Wars. Especially since Rome had sent him a fantastic double ended plastic light saber a la Darth Maul. Apparently he loved it.

Roman took a lot of things seriously. His job, of course, was one of them, but there were a few others. Like... yeah. Like Pokemon. He’d played them all, caught them all, and if anyone was going to start, they had to start at the beginning. It made him a bit of a purist, maybe, but he didn’t care. It was important.

“Red and Blue were the first games released. They were pretty much the same, except certain Pokemon were only in one game or the other. They’re for the old Game Boy systems. Like... the ancient one. Before color was invented.” Well, invented for the handheld gaming systems, anyway.

“Ah, no. Not Pokemon. In everything else, like Halo. You can’t really die in Pokemon.” Just have all six of your poor creatures knocked out and forcing you to go back to the last freaking Pokemon Centre you visited. This was why he invested lots and lots of money into potions.

Speaking of secretaries, Rome’s phone rang with the funeral march, which made him jump. Looking guilty, he pulled it out of his pocket and bit his lip. Answering it tentatively, he received an earful from his receptionist asking where he had gotten to. After a painful, halting conversation, he sighed and hung up, giving Ferris a pathetic look.

“Busted,” he admitted sadly. “Apparently I’m needed back in the office.” His face adopted a serious look. “If anyone asks, I did not buy more Angry Birds.” Or else he was in trouble, as per the phone call.

Naturally, that meant he needed to buy a few pigs. Pigs were not Angry Birds. He was about to march to the till, but he paused and looked at Ferris. “... This is going to sound profoundly stupid, but do you want to throw your number in here?” He held out his phone to him. “Then I can lend you the games, if you still want.” It was useless to make a friend and then forget to get his number. That rules out all kinds of future shenanigans.