Captainomega's Threads

FERRIS MACKLIN

~ Little Shop of Horrors - Ferris/Evie Miller. Before starting at Hammel, Ferris buys some greenery for his home. Ideally they'll liven up his otherwise functional spaces, less than ideally they become four large mortality reminders.

~ I Come Bearing Gifts - Ferris/Tracy Jade. Offerings of high quality chocolate chip cookies net Ferris his first friend/mooch.

~ Ducking and Covering - Jesse Adams/Ferris. Possibly the first staff member to meet Jesse Adams at Hammel and not come away traumatized.

~ Thread Roulette: Delicious? - Ferris/Yulia Sokolov. Job overqualification cannot compensate when your neighbor insists dubstep is something that must be shared.

~ Dungeons and Days Off - Ferris/Kane Woonren. Gratitude trumps social anxiety... hopefully.

~ Highly Illogical - Ferris/Eli Morrison. After over a decade of comforting asexuality, one visit to the Hammel librarian undoes it all.

~ Comically Aligned - Ferris/Roman Tilford. The good doctor manages to bring out Ferris's five-year-old to play. Granted, this is not hard.

~ Deep Fried Delicacies - Devon Wentsworth/Ferris. Surrendering your authentic fish and chips to the new British art teacher is only fair.

~ Cee Worthy - Ferris/Cee Cohen. All visits to Mr. Cohen should come with a helmet. For Cee.

~ Out of the Frying Pan - Abe Milton/Ferris. Everyone should know how to make kreplach. Everyone.

~ Location, Location, Location - Devon Wentsworth/Ferris. Devon is looking for a permanent home. The townhouse next to Ferris's is empty. dundunDUN.

~ Knight in Mid-90s Saturn - Ferris/Danny Silverman/Riley Adams. A loose brake line and a borrowed pliers equal Ferris meeting the newly engaged Fluff Kings.

~ Joshing Around - Ferris/Josh Bernstein. Shared sandwiches, shared conversation. Ferris learns more about Sean Neville than he probably would've had the man actually been present.

~ Couched in Terms I Understand - Ferris/Edward Davenport. Rice Krispy bars mean never meeting new staff with low blood sugar.

~ New Beginnings - Devon Wentsworth/Ferris/Tracy Jade. Devon's two(!) new neighbors help him move in. There is pastry. And hugging. Dammit, Devon.

~ How I Spent My Summer Vacation - Ferris/Renee Hendricks. Renee's classic beauty fails to seduce, but that's fine. She can marry the cookies.

~ Early Birds - Vincent Meian/Ferris. Backdated to July 27. Oh look. Cee Cohen has company in the I Never Go Home Club.

~ First Impressions and How They Go Wrong - Finn Ivanov/Ferris. If you can't meet new staff with baked goods and conversation, a shower of textbooks and a sprain will also leave a lasting impression.

~ Car Wash Event: But Did He Bring Snacks? - Ferris/DK Muller. Yes, yes he did. Along with his bike. Which isn't so bad next to the dude who brought the horse.

~ X Marks the Spot - Ferris/Xavier O'Conner. X has manners. Who knew.

~ A Night Like This - Hammel Staff/Ferris. It's past his bedtime, but who can pass up a free club soda? The Hammel staff (gently) rock The Churchkey Bar.

~ PR Community Field Day 2013: Let Me Taste Your Wares - Ferris/pie contest entrants, etc. Ferris meets Pilot Ridge's other masterbakers.

~ FOREVER ALONE - Ferris/Devon Wentsworth/Cecil Wathen. Three of Pilot Ridge's Least Eligible Bachelors cross paths and it's the horrible private-joke NPC that makes the most drama.

~ Goof Patrol, ROLL OUT - Ferris/Devon Wentsworth/Roman Tilford. Three words: full contact mini-golf. Red card, Rome.

~ Hardcore Famished - Isabela Monroe/Ferris. Though he doesn't feel compelled to feed, it doesn't mean he can't do it. Especially when the feedee is such a snappy dresser.

~ Shopping with Baby - Kateri Rivera/Ferris. Oh look, someone new to foist off excess canned goods on!

~ Halloween Dance 2013: I Go Crazy Because of You - Ferris/Hay-lin Mae. Two people with horrible family/friends find their forced pseudo-date won't kill them. Speaking of kill, those morons who signed them up should probably get food tasters.

~ Remember, Remember - Devon Wentsworth/Ferris/Roman Tilford. It's impossible to have a bad birthday when your friends have disposable income and shortage of good sense.

~ Pilot Ridge Holiday Bash 2013 - Assorted/Ferris. Time off and a borrowed suit get Ferris into his first grown up party. So... what, we just stand around?

~ Bad Luck: NOT a Date! - Cecil Wathen/Ferris. Lucky for Cecil, we dropped the thread before he could get sick all over his dining partner.

~ Time Warp: Basement of Wonders - Ferris/Abe Milton. Backdated to Nov 30, 2013. For Abe's Hanukkah, Ferris lets him choose several of the many jars of preserves that have perhaps taken over his house.

~ Companions; Assemble! - Assorted/Ferris. A fortieth birthday party disguised as a friendly little get together that only convinces about half the attendees. S'what you get when you invite the telepath.

~ Time Warp: Natural Twenty for a Natural Fifty - Ferris/Cecil Wathen. Forward dated to Jan 26, 2024. Ten years from now, Ferris is married and no longer virginal, but he still schemes like a ninja. United States, 2/5.

~ High Fructose Ceremony - Assorted/Ferris. Two men who may or may not be made completely of marshmallow fluff get hitched. Yeah.

~ SUE: Save Me - Devon Wentsworth/Ferris. Continuing the trend of Ferris cleaning up Splatty's cast's vomit. Residences, 6/10.

~ Been Around for a Long Long Year - Devon Wentsworth/Ferris/Roman Tilford. The Goof Patrol raise their glasses at one of the places they haven't been banned from. Yet. Club District, Churchkey Bar, 6/14.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

CLEMENT EVANS

~ TIME WARP: Road Trip - Wayne Dietrich/Clement. Backdated to June, 2013. Recruiter Wayne drives a freshly manifested Clement from California to Vermont and doesn't kill him even a little.

~ Overly Warm Welcome - Clement/Xavier O'Conner, with Sean Neville, Christian Lucas, Mia Bell, Oriel Vanguard, and Nakia Kenjutsushi. Clement's first day at Hammel involves skipping class, beer, being beat up by an angry pyro, and unintended nudity.

~ Visitation - Clement/Mia Bell. Mia nices all over Clement, who doesn't really know what's going on but is mostly okay with it.

~ Glaring is Caring - Clement/Jesse Adams. Meeting the baddest kid at school is less intimidating if you've already been set on fire. And he has a bunny named Tyrone.

~ Car Wash Event: Oil and Water - Clement/Cole Kessler. Washing cars doesn't suck as much as punishment essays. Woo.

~ Teaching English to the Waegukin - Clement/Jae Min Sung. A former ESL student tutoring a native English speaker in the language neither of them is most comfortable in. The irony, she is like a fine wine.

~ Faults in Our Stars - Clement/Lyra Caruso. Brooding, hard to categorize anti-hero meets quirky, foul-mouthed girl. John Green would be so proud.

~ PR Community Field Day 2013: Ben Dover - Clement/Ben Rhodes. More weird experiences with tall people.

~ Slapshots - Lyra Caruso/Clement. Stickwork comes first when learning hockey. Brawling comes later.

~ I Maked You This and Didn't Eatted It - Clement/Jesse Adams. Two day old s'mores are received more warmly than expected, even though Jesse totally doesn't care about this little rugrat. Nope. Not at all. Not one little bit. Cough.

~ Cheap Skate - Clement/Tori Peterson. Skateboarding is maybe not the best sport to take up when snow covers the ground eight months of the year.

~ Class Distinction - Clement/Riley Coleson. School is like a Hadron Collider where assholes run into each other.

~ O Sole Mia - Clement/Mia Bell. Noona nomu yeppeo.

~ Halloween Dance 2013: Here's Your 'Guy Who Goes to Dances' Costume. PUT IT ON. - Clement/Brea White. Brea isn't going to let something as inconsequential as refusal stop her from going to the dance with Clement.

~ Going Swimmingly - Clement/Benton Barrett. Trying to make civil conversation is a lot harder than it looks. Shut up.

~ It's the Great Pumpkin, Ben Rhodes - Clement/Ben Rhodes/Mia Bell. Fish Dude meets Captain Hook.

~ Stupid Cold Vermont - Jesse Adams/Clement. Not many teenagers have to be dragged kicking and screaming to the mall.

~ Feed Me NAO - Clement/Naozumi Makiguchi. His ramyeon brings all the hungry speedsters to the common room.

~ Time Warp: Thick Headed Clement/Vincent Meian. Backdated to Oct 18, 2013. Rock vs Hard Place.

~ Time Warp: Secret Santa - Dorothy Wilson/Clement. Backdated to Dec 25, 2013. A reverse B&E isn't even the weirdest thing to happen to him this year.

~ Don't Look Down - Lahja Morgan/Clement. Clement on horseback isn't as stupid an idea as it sounds. Okay, kind of.

~ Time Warp: Who Would've Thought? - Jesse Adams/Clement. Forward dated to 2029. Social worker Jesse and author Clement live in surprising domesticity with their two kids. Their daughter has Jess SO. WHIPPED.

~ Prime Cutlet - Chandler Stafford/Clement. The silver spoon suppository must be strangely easy to become accustomed to.

~ Da? Aniyo. - Clement/Antosha Vikenti. Private tutoring, take three. Stupidly tall men, 6; Clement, 0.

~ Hi Bored, I'm Dad - Clement/Lukas Miles. History teacher Miles adds another foster son to his collection - soon he'll have caught them all!

~ SUE: Wake Up Calls - Jesse Adams/Clement. Boys Dorm, 6/3.

~ Downfalls - Jesse Adams/Clement. Boys Dorm, 8/11.

~ Time Warp: Challenge Accepted - Clement/Jesse Adams. Forward dated to summer of 2032. United States, 8/26.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TOMER BERELOWITZ

~ TIME WARP: Happy Anti-Christmas - Tomer/Sean Neville/Josh Bernstein. Backdated to Dec 12, 2009. It's hard to Bah Humbug Hanukkah, but that doesn't mean Tomer isn't going to try.

~ Ode to Summer - Sebastian Bolstad/Tomer. Two young men polite all over each other. Could be the proximity to Canada.

~ Pushing It - Tomer/Renee Hendricks. A powers assessment where Renee's movie star glamour is wasted on yet another of my characters. Someday, Renee. Someday.

~ Red Shirts - Tomer/Evan Coleman. For what is probably the first and only time, an Empath chooses to sit beside Tomer because his mind is relaxing to be around.

~ PR Community Field Day 2013: Animal Bonding - Josh Bernstein/Tomer. Why stay home and talk while playing with Mopsy when you can pay money to do it?

~ PR Community Field Day 2013: Falling Asleep on the Ferris Wheel - Thomas "Monroe" Montgomery/Josh Bernstein/Bailey Summers/Tomer. A trip to the fair isn't complete without ride-induced anxiety.

~ Whole or in Pieces - Tomer/Orion and Naomi Stewart. Trying to pass your Gestalt power off as weird is harder to do with the kid who paralyzes himself.

~ Urban(e) Camping - Tomer/Josh Bernstein. Turns out it only takes a single 13-year-old to get a lawyer to clean.

~ Viper's Nest - Erik Stewart/Tomer. Sometimes bullying works. Sometimes it just appears not to.

~ Hey There Sport - Zebadiah Hayes/Tomer. Visits from the dorm monitor are much better than the times he has to help you out of the shower.

~ An Early Bunny Birthday - Josh Bernstein/Tomer. Oh look, Uncle Josh managed to keep a secret. Welcome to the family, Clover. Have some neuroses.

~ Bad Luck: Personal Growth - Sebastian Bolstad/Tomer. The only way it could be worse is if there were baby spiders inside.

~ Thanksgivukkah - Josh Bernstein/Sean Neville/Tomer.

~ Snake vs Bunny - Erik Stewart/Tomer.

~ A Little Pain Never Hurt Anyone - Harmony Muller-Barton/Tomer/Milan Miles.

~ At Least We Aren't Named Daenerys - Lyn & Sansa Mendez/Tomer.

~ It's Always Wabbit Season - Tomer/Walther Ebersbacher.

~ Tough Cookies - Tomer/Naomi & Orion Stewart.

~ The Perils of an Impolite Power - Tomer/Evangeline Jada.

~ Time Warp: Adventures in Babysitting - Tomer/Josh Bernstein. Backdated to July 2005. United States, 2/28.

~ Bad Girl, Good Boy - Harmony Muller-Barton/Tomer. Boys Dorms, 5/29.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

MIKE BATISTA

~ Grounded - Mike/Everett Lilien. Student becomes colleague, aka what goes around comes around.

~ Feeding the Mind - Mike/Randel Anthony. In which it is discovered that world-weary detectives and tiny toy dog breeds are not mutually exclusive.

~ Dinner with Cheesy Lines - Stefan Spencer/Mike. A dinner with Mr. Spencer that does not end in sex. Though not for lack of trying. Residences, 8/23.

~ Clothing Choices - Orion and Naomi Stewart/Mike. Shopping for clothes is a lot less fun when your foster dad is so calm.

~ Hammel Student Retreat 2013: Fireside Chats - Mike/Sean Neville. Reminiscin' this'n that.

~ Not Afraid of You - Mike/Erik Stewart. Sometimes you have to push your luck right over a cliff before things can get done.

~ Calling Names - Mike/Cee Cohen. Yay! Another person who doesn't know Cee shouldn't have coffee!

~ Winging It - Mike/Katy Bishop. It would be so great if wings came with training wheels.

~ Hello Kitty - Mike/Lyn Ivchenko-Lewis.

~ Pilot Ridge Holiday Bash 2013 - Assorted/Mike. Club District,

~ Tall, Dark, and Handsome - Stefan Spencer/Mike. All the best Hammel memes involve Stefan. And occasionally and unfortunately also Mike.

~ Radioactive - Nora Marie Gwinn/Mike. Air high fives are a thing.

~ Noodle Arms - Phoenix Tang/Mike.

~ Time Warp: Nanananana Batman - Kieron Sharpe/Mike. Backdated to Oct 2001.

~ Any Excuse for a Party - Assorted/Mike.

~ Training Wheels - Mike/Erik Stewart.

~ Time Warp: A Reluctant Pupil - Nora Marie Gwinn/Mike. Backdated to March 2009.

~ What's Gonna Kill You is the Second Part - Demetrius Wolfbane/Mike. Maddock Hospital, 7/22.

~ Time Warp: Las Mañanitas! - Nora Marie Gwinn/Mike. Residences, 8/30.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

DANNY COHEN

~ Gummy Bears - Beat Booker/Danny/Sylvie Richelieu.

~ Father of Mine - Cee Cohen/Danny.

~ Free Cookies - Gladys Knight/Phoenix Tang/Lany Bishop/Danny. Dorm first floor, 6/26.

~ I'd Rather Play with the Wall - Miles Daugherty/Danny. Gym, 9/6.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

OTH GILLIS

~ Art Therapy - Oth/Oriel Vanguard. In which creative descriptors for hairs and bears get liberally bandied about. Oth both wins and loses.

~ Another Dorm Move... - Andreas Ivaring/Oth.

~ Time Warp: Bros Before Shows - Oth/Oriel Vanguard. Brothers bond over burgers and heels. What.

~ Within Spitting Distance - Oth/Oriel Vanguard.

~ Time Warp: As the Clock Turns - Mathis Reeves/Oth. Forward dated Sept 8, 2027. Non-canon.