You're My Saving Grace (Craven)

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Typical day in the auditorium during lunch. Yet again, Adrian was there to figure out a routine to one of the many songs she'd been listening to. One in particular that had a great emotional balance to it that was perfect for lyrical dances. The song was Halo by Beyoncé and it was one of Adrian's favorite songs. It held a special meaning to her, one that applied to a few people in her life. One was her mother, in the fact that Amelia was her saving grace. The other major one was her best friend. He had been one of the people to fully remove the wall around her. Not many knew there was a wall that needed to be torn down, but he'd seen it clear as day and somehow managed to get through it.

In the middle of the stage, with the lights dimmed and her ipod plugged into the amplifier she stood waiting for the cue. The music started and she swayed and began her dance. It was a simple dance, one that she'd done several times and finally finished. The choreography was hers with a few additions from her coach. The way her body flowed with the music was one of the reasons she was one of the better dancers on the team. She threw herself into dancing, filling it with every emotion she had.

Feeling that she was alone was what made it easy for her to let her guard down and express herself in the most emotional way she knew how that didn't involve crying.

She was wearing a simple blue flowing dress that she'd worn for one solo in a competition. It fit her body well, accenting her curves, but flowing down to just above her knees. Her hair was put up into a clip, with stray curls falling. The dress moved with her easily and accented the more elegant steps. She looked beautiful when she danced, not that she'd know or even admit it if she did. Everyone who watched her was instantly captivated by her movements, but with her fear of performing alone, many people didn't single her out in competitions besides Amelia.

Adrian had also never invited anyone besides her mom to competitions. She didn't like being judged, though she knew her friends would never do that to her. She just felt too vulnerable with anyone else watching. Which was why she preferred practicing in the Auditorium, hidden from the eyes of everyone else.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven had a tough time again not thinking about Romeo but instead of thinking 'I want him' now Craven was thinking 'I'm gonna kill him!' which was better in a way. It helped him pass through his angry stage and his in love stage. Craven had made plans to meet Gia for dinner which she had yet to confirm so he wasn't doing all that well today which is what brought him to his wanderings across the Hammel grounds. He could have done with a friend right then really to be perfectly honest. Maybe Thyme was in the dorm snoozing again.

He could only hope. He gave her a soft smile and headed off down toward the school building. Craven found very little amusement in his travellings to his dorm and when he entered it, he found it empty. He'd finished studying for history and Maths and was now utterly bored, lonely and a little depressed so Craven would wander around aimlessly once more until he bumped into someone that he could cling to during his sad state of depression. Craven wandered around for a little while before slowing down when he heard Halo coming from the Auditorium.

Maybe someone was dancing. He sooo loved dancing. He'd have fun watching. Maybe it was that asian girl he'd once watched doing dancing too. Craven peeked in and at first, all he saw was a beautiful body swaying to the music. The dancer instantly brought a smile to his face and drew him closer so he carefully moved the door and slipped inside to watch. His smile faded when he saw who it was and his eyebrows raised. He'd not met up with Adrianna since the Thanks Giving thing and although it had been fun, there had been a strange sorta tension between them since the night he'd decided they'd pretend to be dating for his father.

Well, maybe not tension for her but definitely tension for him. He frowned softly at her. Craven slowly moved down a few steps and sat down watching her over the top of the steps, licking his lips. What had happened with him all too suddenly? What was wrong with him and Adrianna? Was he messing up his own mind? Was that even possible. Craven said nothing as she danced, did nothing when it ended. He simply watched, stayed in the shadows. He didn't want to interupt her. He rested his chin between his hands as he watched.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Dance had always gotten Adrian to relax. She expressed herself so much that it hurt to pull back in the emotions she'd displayed. After everything that had been happening, she was happy to be back in her sanctuary of emotion. Her mother had an allergic reaction to the medicine that was supposed to be helping her. Her relationship with her best friend was off in so many ways and it was killing her slowly to think that it was her fault. Of course she blamed herself for everything.

Amelia was getting worse and she wasn't there to help. She was leaving her mother to pull through this illness all on her own, just so Adrian could have a life. It was selfish (and not true in the slightest). Now because of her dumb idea just to save him, there was something wrong with her friendship. She felt like she was going to lose her best friend and every time she thought of it, she had a hollow feeling in her chest. Losing him meant losing feeling. She knew she'd end up shutting herself off from the world if she lost another guy so close to her. Abandonment did that to a person. She'd know from experience.

As she ended with her final pose, Adrianna was in tears. The thoughts of every bad thing kept flooding into her mind. The dance had been nearly flawless, but not in her eyes. She'd been called out by a judge for not putting enough emotion into the dance. She may have been crying, but it wasn't due to the song. She couldn't put herself into the song when she had nothing to relate it to (which was a lie). She didn't have someone to think of when the song played. Different parts reminded her of different people, but not one specific person jumped to the forefront of her mind when it played (besides the obvious one who happened to be sitting in the crowd).

She sat on the edge of the stage and curled up in a ball next to her ipod docking station. It hurt to admit that she had this horrible feeling of ending up alone. After Amelia died, if she lost her best friend, she'd have no one. Not a father to lean on, no siblings, no friends. Utterly alone. The tears fell down her cheek slowly, one by one and she closed her eyes to try and clear her mind. She couldn't spend valuable time crying. She had to get ready.

With that thought planted in her mind, she slowly stood up and restarted the song. Adrian positioned herself again and waited for the song to start.

The song played and she danced again, but what she wasn't ready for was what had happened. On the first jump, she landed wrong and fell to the ground. She'd bent her ankle in a weird position and crumpled to the stage floor.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven watched her sit there. Was she crying again? His mom had said in her diary once, that it was good to cry. It cleansed out the bad stuff to make room for the good stuff so Craven held back from launching into white knight mose and scooping her into his arms to comfort her. He held back, waited, hovered. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes when she finally picked herself up and started dancing again. The same dance but this time when she did her leap, she tumbled to the ground.

"Shit..."
Craven hissed, snapping to his feet and only pausing for a moment before he flew down the stairs and scrambled onto the stage and over to his best friend.
"Oh my God! Adrianna!"
Craven floundered for a moment, not knowing what to do or how to go about it before stroking a hand across her face then pulling back to take her hands.

"Are you okay?! Can you stand? Does it hurt?! Let's go to the infirmary. Don't cry, baby girl..."
He whispered the last words soothingly laying his forehead against hers before pulling back and attempting to help her stand. That was what you were supposed to do when you fell right? Stand back up. His father had pushed that right into both his sons determined to get them to comply. No crying. Stand up and push onward and upward. That was what he'd learned from a very early on age.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna had been dancing since she was four. She'd had injuries up on injuries and every time she got back up. Despite how much pain she was in, she would do just that. She was hunched over and grimacing, but gaining all the energy she could to fight through the pain and stand up and continue her dance. It had to be perfect. Amateur mistakes like that weren't acceptable and inside she was beating herself up about it. This was what she got when she danced with a mind full of bad thoughts. Coach had told her to clear her mind when she danced, but she hadn't and because of that she was hurt.

Adrian had placed her hands on the stage and was attempting to put weight on her ankle. She collapsed again and whimpered. Her eyes snapped up when she heard someone making their way up to the stage. It was a familiar voice, one she'd know anywhere. The flutter it sent through her was not something she liked and she pushed back all feelings that came bubbling to the surface. It was just her friend. Nothing more than that.

His touch was soft and comforting. She winced at the pain and took his hands. Her fingers laced through his and she squeezed lightly as another shooting pain shot through her ankle. It was just a twist of her ankle, nothing big. She'd be able to stand and continue dancing (or so she thought).

Adrian wasn't crying from the pain. She could handle the physical pain, it was everything else that she couldn't get through. The tears in her eyes were due to the fact that she knew if she ever lost this comfort, having her best friend help her when she fell, she'd never be able to cope. He leaned his forehead against hers and she tried harder to calm down. As he tried helping her up, she used him for support. She couldn't put a lot of weight on her ankle without falling again.

She stood up and as she put a little weight on it, she fell into him. Adrian wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to steady herself. She leaned against him and buried her face in his shoulder. How he'd managed to find her when she most needed him was something Adrianna would never understand. Part of her felt as if it was some bond they shared where both knew where the other was when they needed someone to fall back on.

Adrian had always found him whenever he needed her and he continued to catch her when she fell (literally). It was what made their friendship so close and amazing. And it was for that reason she knew she couldn't live a good life without him.

"How did you find me? You weren't there when I started were you?" Her eyes widened, "Please tell me you didn't see me dance!" The thought of her raw emotions out for people to see frightened her, even if it was only Craven who had seen.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven got her to her feet attempting to steady her but she couldn't but weight on her ankle, like bird with broken wings it seemed to him. His arms quickly folded around her form when she fell into him and burried her face in his shoulder. Craven took a deep breathe and let it out slowly, feeling so much better now that she was in his arms. He felt like he could protect her now and look after her and care for her. His hand stroked up and down her back seaching to smooth out every painful thought or emotion of feeling she held in her.

His best friend. His broken wings. The dancer he loved watching. She couldn't walk on this. He winced in realization. She couldn't dance on this. As he held her he lay his chin ontop of Adrianna's head until Adrianna started pulling back sharply and asked him about him being there. Guilt was splashed across his face for a moment before he shook his head quickly at her. The thought only then occured to him. Why would she not want him to see her dance?

"I thought we shared everything?"
Craven said in a hurt way before scooping her into his arms. She was as light as Gia it seemed and her arms had been around his neck anyway.
"You need ice on that. "
Craven crouched down so she could collect her belongings for the ground groaning just a little but trying to hide it.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna felt better with him. His arms wound around her when she fell into him and she hugged him tighter. This was what she wanted, to always be in his arms, to feel as if he really wanted her in the same way. She relaxed slightly when his hand traveled up and down her back. It helped keep her mind off of the pain in her ankle. Realization was dawning on her that she'd hurt herself much worse than she wanted to admit. Luckily, he'd found her, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to move at all.

She felt his chin rest on her head and at first she felt relaxed, but reality hit and she didn't know why, but the fact that he'd seen her so filled with that raw power...scared her. She wanted him to eventually see her dance, but at a competition and not when she was thinking of him. That raw emotion was all due to the fact that she was thinking about her best friend, the one man in her life that had stuck by her through absolutely everything (besides Robbie, but that was different). She watched as the guilt crossed his face and it made her feel bad for snapping the way she had.

"We do Crave, and I would have loved for you to see my dance, but not like this. It wasn't ready and it was bad. I can do better than that." Adri said quietly trying to comfort him to ease the pain in his voice. She wasn't expecting him to pick her up, but she couldn't control the thrill it sent through her. He was her prince charming, even if he didn't see what was so charming about him. She did and she always would.

She frowned and looked into his concerned blue eyes, "Crave I'm fine, really. It's just a twisted ankle, no biggie." She tried playing it off, but she knew he wouldn't believe her. She grabbed her things when he knelt down and she set them in her lap, wrapping her arms around his neck again just as a 'precaution.' She rested her cheek against his chest and looked up at him. "What are you doing wandering around anyway? I figured you'd have plans with Gia or something..." She said quietly, trying to conceal the pain in her voice.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven frowned at her words. He thought she'd done an amazing job. She'd danced beautifully and he was extremely swept up into the dance she'd preformed. He could not for the life of him understand why she thought she could do better then she had. He thought she'd been both amazing at what she'd done and beautiful in doing it. His face scrunched up for a moment or two before he shook his head as he bent down for her to collect her things.

"I don't get what was so bad about it. You were beautiful. I liked it."
He explained hoping he was helping her feel better about the whole dance thing. He had the feeling that her dancing wasn't meant for him, despite what she said. He felt like this was something she really didn't want to share with him. Craven knew she was in pain and he gave her a doubtful frown as she said she was fine then headed down the side steps and to the exit allowing her to rest in his arms. It would take longer getting her to the nurses station if he allowed her to walk all that way.

Then he heard her speak about him wondering and his body slumped slightly.
"So we ran into Romeo during Christmas shopping and Gia was with me and..."
Then Craven remembered that he didn't actually tell his best friend WHO it was he had cheated on his girlfriend with. Craven lowered his eyes and paused for a moment. A shrug rolled across his shoulders making him seem more boyish then a man as he thrust his shoulder into the swing doors of the auditorium, opening them so they could exit.

"Things are once more... awkward between us. Then again... since this whole relationship thing started there has been endless awkwardness and no matter what I do to prevent it something else happens to make it awkward again like the other night when I almost kissed yo- whoa I did not just say that...."
Craven stopped in the hallway and stared straight ahead of him in horror-shock and a little streak of confusion settled shortly afterward.

"How do I do that?"
He muttered to himself waiting for the awkwardness to fade which he was sure it wouldn't.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna looked up at him when he spoke of her dance. Her eyebrows pulled together and she looked away. He'd said she was beautiful and in order to stay in control, she couldn't look at him. Those beautiful right blue eyes were too intense and filled with understanding. Everything she said, he understood. Though she didn't understand how it was possible. How could someone she'd known only for a few years know her so well?

She looked back up when his body slumped and he spoke of Romeo and shopping...and his girlfriend. She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. She'd known he was avoiding the cheating matter, and that he didn't want to tell her who he'd cheated with, but that slip up said a lot. She frowned slightly and brushed her fingers across his cheek lightly, hoping to reassure him that no matter what he said, she'd never judge him.

His next words set a frown on her face and she chewed on the inside of her cheek. Adrian knew he was right on all accounts. Ever since she'd suggested they play pretend, there had been a growing sense of uneasiness between them. It was a wall that kept them from being the way they'd been before and it was all because in that short amount of time outside of the restaurant, she'd fallen so hard for him and she couldn't take it back.

Then he'd admitted to almost kissing her.

Adrian's eyes widened and she looked up at him with confusion and hope in her eyes. She was confused at how she'd been so oblivious. The hope was short lived. It vanished before he'd even looked down at her. There was no hope for her.

Adri took a deep breath and sighed. She reached up and tilted his chin down so that he would look at her. Once their eyes met she had to regain her focus. Her eyes were mostly expressionless, but someone who knew her as well as him could see the hint of pain. She couldn't let him do this. He wasn't allowed to feel anything besides friendly love for her. She could suffer through her own feelings, but not his. The hope was simply unbearable. "No Crave, this is my fault. I put you in the worse kind of position. The only reason you almost kissed me was because you felt obligated to comfort me."

The words left a bitter taste in her mouth and a pain in her chest, but she had to say them. She wouldn't let herself believe he actually wanted to kiss her. It was her fault. Just as everything else was. "And I'm the one who's been making it awkward for you. I'm sorry. I understand if you'd rather we not talk for a while. If you set me down, I can walk from here..." She whispered softly looking away from him.

[Craven Grimley]

That brush of her hand that was always there to reassure him meant a lot. He could feel her fingers brushing across his cheek bringing a flicker of a smile back across his features but it didn’t help alleviate the slip up he’d made. She didn’t even know about him having crushed on Romeo for years now. It wasn’t just a quick fling and kiss in a dark corner. It was mostly one of his fantasies coming true but that didn’t make it right and he knew that. He was supposed to be right where he was. With Gia and that was that.

At Adrianna’s touch, he instantly tilted his head down so he could look into her face and into her eyes. Her touch had done that to him a lot. Even though he wanted to avoid the subject it was out there and there was very little he could do about it. What was he supposed to say? It was rather awkward around everyone he knew these days… cept for Ty and Robbie. Everything was just messed up and awkward and he wished he knew how to fix it so things could return to normal.

One thing his Nanny did teach him that he’d never forget. When he said something wrong or word vomited as a young boy, she’d take him in her arms and say ‘ Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way they’re supposed to sound in your head and sometimes they do. Things happen for a reason and this is what it means to grow up and grow older.’ Maybe he was busy growing up then… It was a hard road and tough, he only now discovered. The raging of hormones, the mistakes. Thank God, his girlfriend was forgiving.

Craven listened to her words then frowned.
”No, No… what? Obligated? I’ve never felt obligated to do anything for you, with you. I wanted to kiss you.”
Craven was silent for a moment then he raised his eyebrow when he came to realize what he’d just said.
”Really?”
He frowned at her and shook his head.
”Can we stop talking now and forget it ever happened….?”
Craven asked softly as he turned a corner holding her closer to him the nurses office was in site and then he could set her down and they could get some ice on her foot.
”We’re nearly there anyway…”

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna buried her face in his chest as she waited for his response. She wasn't sure she was ready to hear the rejection quite yet, but it was out there and she needed to hear it sometime. She just wished things could go back to how they were before. Before she liked him, before they'd almost kissed, before she'd suggested the fake dating thing. Back to when they were just friends, very good friends.

She relaxed slightly when he said he'd never felt obligated to help her. It meant a lot and she was glad he did things for her because he wanted to. But she tensed when he admitted to wanting to kiss her. That wasn't something she wanted to hear and she really wanted to pretend that she hadn't heard it.

Adri hugged him tighter and took a deep breath trying to get through all of the pain. Between her ankle throbbing and her heart aching, she just wanted it all to stop. She tightened her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, "I'm sorry I made such a mess of things Crave." She said softly into his shoulder. She looked up at him and smiled half-heartedly, "If you want to forget it, that's perfectly fine with me."

Her words hadn't faltered or shown any sign of pain, but inside she was hurting. She'd found what she believed to be her 'prince' and she couldn't have him. Even if he'd wanted her, she wouldn't take him from Gia. They were too perfect for each other and she already felt bad enough that he'd almost kissed her. Adrian had a bad habit of blaming herself for everything if she's involved in any way. If him and Gia broke up ever, she'd blame herself. It was how her mind worked, even if it was irrational.

She winced as she tried to move her ankle and her fingers gripped his shirt as tears welled fresh in her eyes.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven felt like he was just making it worse for the young female in his arms. Every time he wanted to tell her that he cared but wasn’t allowed to, she thought he was rejecting her. Craven was about to give up soon anyway. They were almost at the nurses office anyway and after that, he’d definitely go and sort himself out. How did things get so immensely out of hand, Craven wanted to know.

Craven leaned in to kiss her forehead when she hugged him tighter. His arms were aching but he could make it. He needed to work out more. This was insanely ridiculous. If it had been Robbie, there would have been no problem carrying her. It would have been easy for him to carry her. Robbie, he’d bet, never grew feelings for her and never made her grow feelings for him in return.

He would NOT make himself believe that this was entirely one sided. Not a chance. They stepped into the infirmary and a woman came bustling over to them peeking at the girl in his arms with worried eyes.
”What’s wrong with her?”
The nurse asked with a note of concern in her voice ushering Craven into a room where he could set Adrianna down.

”Uh… That’s why we brought her here…”
Craven frowned. Why did medical staff always do that? Asked you want was wrong with you? If you knew what was wrong with you, you’d be elsewhere wouldn’t you? Craven lay Adrianna down across an examination table and groaned with relief at the weight being out of his arms.

”Not that you’re fat or anything… I’m just not Robbie. He’d have done that no hassles.”
Craven said shaking out his arms and flexing his sore muscles.
”I should go find Gia or something? Leave you to deal with this on your own or whatever…Unless you want me to stay?”
He asked uncertainly hovering by the side of her bed.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna curled up closer to him as they made their way to the nurse's office. She could handle the pain as long as she never lost him. She'd go through whatever was needed if only she could be sure she'd never be without him. He was her wall, the one person that got her through everything bad. If she lost him, she'd never be able to face her mother's impending doom. She'd never be able to face her problems without him.

His lips pressed against her forehead and she relaxed more. Her ankle hurt less when she was relaxed. One good thing about having him there. She heard the woman's voice and frowned at the question. That's why they'd come was to find out what was wrong. Duh. She tried to force back the irritation that she felt when he set her down.

Adrianna smirked when he stretched his arms, "I told you, you didn't have to carry me. It's your own damn fault." She laughed quietly and laid back trying to position her ankle in a more comfortable way. Not that she was having much luck.

His next words made her wince, unfortunately it wasn't internally. She looked away and waited until she knew her voice wouldn't give her real feelings away, "Go ahead and find Gia. I'm sure she's wondering where you are..." She spoke softly and her voice held no pain, but at the same time it held no emotions whatsoever. If he wanted to go, she wouldn't make him stay. She wouldn't be selfish. It wasn't like they were dating. Not really at least.

[Craven Grimley]

Craven gave her a smile when she mentioned Gia might be wondering where he was. He knew that look though. It wasn't often that Adrianna had emotionless anywhere. Either in her voice, on her face or in her eyes, her emotions were always always there so when he saw nothing there he knew she didn't want him to go but there was something else. His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched her for a long moment then slowly shook his head.

"Why did you have to wait till now Adrianna? Why not come to me before I hooked up? Why didn't you say anything? Why aren't you saying anything now even? You're just hiding it. "
One more why... Why was his life so complicated now that he had a girlfriend? Before Gia, No one paid him any attention. Was this a thing about wanting what you couldn't have? Cause that was sure annoying. If this little thing between them had happened sooner, who knew what could have happened. Craven didn't really wanna find out.

All he knew was that Adrianna, his best friend, was acting awkward and that it was difficult to not pull a conclusion from the way she was acting. Craven gave a soft sigh, watching her intently for a moment before he lowered his eyes to her ankle.
"Why were you so suprised that I had seen you dancing? Just spill. Things are complicated enough without me having to geuss what's going through your mind too Adrianna."
Craven said softly fixing his eyes back on her.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrian looked away and down as he started the bombarding of questions. Why had she waited? Because she didn't realize what she was feeling until just recently. Usually she got distracted by other guys that took her mind off of what she felt for her best friend, but now she didn't have that. Now, all she could do was focus on him. Why wasn't she saying anything now? Because she couldn't ruin his relationship with Gia. She wasn't a boyfriend stealer. She was oblivious before and she was hiding it now because she didn't want him to do something he'd regret later.

Truth was, Adri was damaged goods and she was convinced no one could fix her.

She chewed on her lip trying to think of a way to tell him without being too vulnerable. Not that it would happen, she was always vulnerable. "I wasn't trying to wait until you had her Crave. I didn't know how I felt because I was always busy getting side-tracked by the guys who hurt me. I'm oblivious when it comes to stuff like this, you should know that by now. Not to mention I always seem to choose the wrong guys." She frowned still looking away. "And I can't say anything now because you have her. I won't get in between you two. I can't. I'd feel horrible if I did. It's better for me to hide it because I won't cause problems with you two and I don't get hurt this way." She whispered the last part risking a glance up at his face.

Adri looked back down and felt his eyes on her. She chewed on the inside of her cheek trying to figure out what he was thinking. She sighed at his question and looked up at him this time as she spoke. "I was surprised because no one sees me dance for a reason Crave. You think I'm emotional in person, but you have no idea how much worse it is while I'm dancing. When I dance, I throw my emotions out there into the song depending on what emotion the song requires. I always end up crying while I'm dancing because it's so powerful." She took a deep breath, "While I'm dancing, it's all of me that people see and I'm afraid of being judged which is why I don't really like doing solos."

She paused again and looked away, "And while I dance, I think of someone that I know that makes me feel the way the song feels. That dance that I was doing...I was thinking of you Crave because every time I hear it I think of you."