AU: Punky's Dilemma (Josh)

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh accepted the bottle, turning it over in his hands to examine the label. "I take it this means you recommend the seafood here, then." He laughed, setting it down beside the candle that flickered between the two of them. "I've never been in here before, so if you have I'll take your advice on the food."

He reached for the wine Sean had poured for him, murmuring his thanks before sipping as he listened to his friend's explanation. "A psychiatrist. That sounds so impressive. Do you have your own practice or do you work in a group or...?" He trailed off before answering the question that had been posed to him. "I specialize in civil rights, actually. You know, that's part of what really drew me to your ad, the focus on community service. I think that's important."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded his ascent. “I would. It’s been very fresh the times I’ve been here before, although their steaks are also delicious. I’ve been told good things about most of their dishes.” That was often the case with high-end restaurants. That was why the telepath had suggested the restaurant as a dating spot, since he had planned to foot the bill. He tried not to go outside of price constraints with people on budgets, but since it was essentially a blind date, he had expected to pay for everything. In doing so, he could treat his first date in a while.

“I have my own practice, but I’m part of a medical collective,” the telepath explained. “With everyone included, we try to offer holistic services to patients, since several medical problems are interconnected. For instance, we’ve had our fair share of Desert Storm veterans who require physical therapy, respiratory treatment, and psychological care.”

His practice went beyond that, of course, but they were a notable example of the medical office’s purpose.

“Civil rights?” Sean inquired, before taking one last sip of his wine. “That’s very admirable. What made you choose that path?”

Many attorneys shied away from that area of the law. Particularly with the prosperity for the wealthier that had occurred during the 80s and 90s. It was easier to get paid while on Wall Street.

He smiled at the other man’s remark. “I think it is too. I’ve always thought that it’s important to protect and invest in the community.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Really?" Josh already knew about his friend's practice, but this was part of the pretense, asking questions and pretending he hadn't heard any of this before. "That sounds rather intense."

He flipped his menu to the seafood section, perusing the options as he answered in turn.

"There's not much of an exciting story there. My parents impressed upon my siblings and I the importance of civil rights and how they ought to be universal. I thought this was the best way to make a difference. Change from within the system when you can, you know? It's not always that easy, but I do my part."

He took another sip of wine.

"It's refreshing to find someone who shares my priorities. You know, I hope this isn't too forward for a first date, but when I read your ad I thought you were the sort of person I would fantasize into existence if that were possible. But it's so difficult to believe that anyone could really be so compatible, so it took me ages to reply. I'm glad I did."

It meant he could spend time with his best friend, and pretend for a moment that this was a real date. It also meant that he could feel butterflies in his stomach, because some of the pretense was closer to reality than was probably healthy.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“It can be,” Sean admitted. He enjoyed his work because he enjoyed helping others, and he knew that he was able to help his patients make progress. At the same time, it could be mentally and emotionally exhausting for non-psychic therapists. This was compounded for him due to the telepathy, and the fact that he used his powers to aid patients in certain situations.

It was like dryer static; he absorbed for his patients, burdening himself to help unburden them.

The telepath also opened his menu, although he first looked at the appetizer section. “Did you want an appetizer?” He inquired. “Or soup or a salad?” He intended to order something for himself, and he wanted the other man to feel free to do so as well.

“That’s an important lesson to teach, and it’s impressive that your parents made sure that you learned it,” he remarked. The admiration was real; it was an echo of the same admiration that he had felt when he had first met Josh those decades ago, and the boy had described his upbringing.

At his friend’s description, he tilted his head slightly, regarding the younger man with curiosity. “Is that so?” He asked, the question more serious than it was pretense.

“Admittedly, I’m glad you answered it too. You’re the first response I’ve had.”

That was true as well.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh flipped back towards the beginning of the menu at Sean's question, looking over the appetizer and salad selections.

"I'm partial to spinach and artichoke dip," He responded as he considered the options. "But I should probably go for the salad. I don't eat nearly enough vegetables at home. It's terrible, and I'm sure that a nutritionist would have something to say about that if I went to one."

Another sip of wine.

"Do they bring free bread here? I think we can skip the appetizer if they do. Unless you just really want one, don't let me stop you. I'll definitely eat it if you order it."

At the question his lips turned up into a wry smile.

"A professional close to my own age, who shares all my own interests? Including an interest in community involvement? It sounds so simple, but I can't seem to find that anywhere. Well...once. But that was a long time ago."

He shrugged uncomfortably. He had never discussed the details of his previous relationships in much detail with Sean, feeling guilt merely for having them, much less subjecting the person he had broken up with to them.

But they were pretending, so he should sideline the guilt for now.

"I've dated a couple of people since then but it didn't really work out. I'm surprised I'm the first person to answer, though, you sounded far more appealing than the other ads I read. Although admittedly I stopped after I got to yours, so perhaps that isn't fair of me to say."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean had to agree; Josh certainly didn’t enough nearly enough vegetables, and he was a nutritionist’s nightmare. In fact, he had said as much to his friend before, when they were having supper together. He didn’t understand how the attorney could reach middle age while still maintaining a diet that primarily consisted of grilled cheese, takeout, and Pop Tarts. The telepath had a sweet tooth, but he also cooked for himself and liked to eat vegetables and whole grains.

“They do, but I was contemplating soup,” he admitted. Either soup or lettuce wraps. “I also go through bread quickly,” he said, which was partially an explanation for why he also wanted an appetizer and partially a warning for when the bread arrived.

He listened to the other man’s explanation and then nodded soberly. “Ah.” So this was fair game for this evening’s performance; Sea would make note of that without pressing too much.

They hadn’t discussed this while sober since The Break Up. He didn’t think that Josh would want to discuss it now, but perhaps making it a game caused it to seem more bearable.

“I don’t have particularly good luck with relationships,” he admitted with a self-deprecating smile. In fact, he had yet to have been the one to end a single one of his relationships thus far.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Then perhaps an appetizer is a good idea after all," Josh mused. He should have considered that when dismissing the idea in the first place; but then, if he were only just now meeting Sean then he wouldn't have known. That made forgetting just how much his friend could eat seem slightly less appalling.

He'd had enough meals with the telepath over the years that he really should know this by now, but he was getting caught up in the pretense.

"I suppose that makes two of us." He commented in regards to relationships. Admittedly, this was his own fault, though he knew that wasn't something anyone should bring up on a first date. Oh, yes, I know we've just met but I happen to be spectacular at ruining my romantic prospects. Are you interested in meeting again?

"I've not had much success even finding anyone. I thought looking at personal ads would perhaps be easier than wading through the whole awkward, should I ask or not phase. I can be friends with anyone, but when it comes to dating everything becomes so difficult. I guess if you're putting out personal ads you can understand."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean considered the matter settled then. As soon as Josh found an appetizer he wanted, and their server arrived, they could begin ordering their first course. Fortunately, the restaurant had a relaxed atmosphere, and the telepath knew that they would not be rushed out the door in order to free the table.

At the remark, he smiled sadly. “I can understand,” he replied. He knew that the dating scene could be quite difficult, particularly for people of a certain age. He had always lamented the fact that his best friend had such difficulty finding someone else with whom to share his life; Josh was so affectionate, enthusiastic, and intelligent. He deserved a happy relationship.

For his own part, Sean knew that he wasn’t the easiest person to live with. No matter how much he tried to adapt for his partners, it never seemed to be sufficient. He was also in the difficult position of trying to adapt not only metaphobia, but also biphobia. Many women were turned off by the fact that he had previous relationships with men, particularly with AIDS still misunderstood by many people; the HIV travel ban didn’t help. Many men were worried that he would leave them for a woman that he could marry and with whom he could have children. This was worsened by middle age, since he had never been married and that also aroused suspicions, because why hadn’t he by this age?

“My last girlfriend is engaged,” he remarked. “She wants me to give a toast at the wedding.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"That sounds awkward." Josh remarked, finishing the glass of wine Sean had poured him. And they hadn't even decided on an appetizer yet.

The only ex he was even on speaking terms with was Sean; the other two relationships had ended far too poorly for any of the parties involved to be comfortable with morphing into friendship. Even if either Simon or Saul had wanted to, he felt too much guilt to keep in touch.

Perhaps now was the time to change topics away from exes. Now didn't seem an appropriate time to remind Sean that Saul had been jealous of him.

"So what sort of appetizers do you like? Oooh, is this an avocado eggroll I see? Do you like avocado? Or did you want one of the dips?"

He would be happy with anything, which made decisions difficult. Everything looked so delicious.

"I hope you aren't looking for someone who can cook, because eating is the closest to cooking I have ever gotten."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean shrugged slightly at the sympathetic comment. “I don’t view it as awkward. I’m glad she found someone with whom she wants to spend her life.” That was true. The recurring theme with all of his exes was that, no matter how uncomfortable the breakup, he always wanted them to find happiness. Even if that happiness couldn’t be found with him.

“I do like avocado,” the telepath said with a nod, happy to move away from the topic of failed relationships for the moment. If they returned to the subject later, perhaps it would be less melancholy and delving into the past before placing an order or receiving bread. “We could order that. I’d also been looking at the lettuce wraps,” he admitted. He liked both.

“I’m easygoing,” he explained further, since they were pretending that they didn’t know one another. As such, the attorney had no reason to know that Sean tended to go with the flow, with certain hard limits established.

Then, at the remark, he shook his head. “I’m not. I know how to cook, and I’m used to taking care of myself.” He had prepared all of the meals when he and Josh had lived together. When in other relationships, sometimes he and his partner shared the cooking, when his partner also enjoyed meal preparation. Otherwise, he took it on himself. He didn’t expect other people to help him with those tasks.

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Hmm," Josh mused. He hadn't considered the lettuce wraps but only because he was already having salad, which counted as his lettuce quotient for the week. However, they probably would be rather delicious, and he should eat more vegetables.

"What about the lettuce wraps and also the spinach dip?" He suggested, flipping back to the seafood section of the menu now that appetizers had been narrowed down. He still wasn't quite sure what type of seafood he wanted, and all the choices sounded mouth-watering.

The waiter arrived while he was still making his decision. Fortunately he was willing to take drink orders (Josh only wanted water, given that he planned on drinking wine the remainder of the night) and the appetizers, then he vanished, promising to bring out the bread with the drinks.

"So how did you discover this place? Do you read all the foodie reviews? I admit I tend to go out on a whim, oh, look, I haven't been there before, let's see if it's any good. But sometimes coworkers make recommendations...."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean nodded in agreement with the other man’s proposal. “That sounds fine to me,” he replied. He would enjoy the lettuce wraps, and he would eat enough chips to enjoy the spinach dip.

With the first course of their meal decided, the telepath began to flip through the menu to the entrée section. Seafood was on his agenda, although he hadn’t determined what, precisely he wanted. Lobster would be presumptuous on a first date, but since Josh was here with him, he knew that his friend wouldn’t judge him for the meal choice. Even if they were pretending that they didn’t know one another.

“A friend’s brother used to work here,” the telepath explained. That was how it had first come to his attention, when a group of them had chosen to go, try to get the brother as their waiter, and then leave an exceptional tip as a prelude to his birthday. “I admit that, while I try to eat well, I wouldn’t qualify as a foodie. I read the Times’ restaurant reviews sometimes, but that tends to be the extent of it.”

He smiled as the younger man explained his typical process, nodding slightly in acknowledgment. “I’ve found some great hole in the walls doing that. There’s a chicken place two blocks up from Union Square Park that only has three booths, but it’s some of the best chicken I’ve ever had.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"You'll have to give me the name of this chicken place so that I can go sometime," Josh grinned, leaning back as the waiter returned with the drinks and bread.

The appetizers would take a bit longer, but that was to be expected.

The attorney turned to Sean, one finger on the item he planned to order. "I'm ready, if you are."

He had decided that he wanted to try the grilled rainbow trout, with whipped yukon gold potatoes, and the lobster mac and cheese. He had no idea what lobster mac and cheese entailed, but it sounded like something that was necessary to try out since it was available.

And of course a house salad.

And more wine, but he would wait until they were alone to pour himself another glass.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“I’d be happy to,” Sean replied with a smile. “It’s called ‘Garden Catering.’ I recommend the fried chicken with the secret seasoning.”

When the waiter arrived with their drinks and bread, the telepath thanked him, and then confirmed to Josh that he was ready to order. He waited for the younger man to go first, since that was his typical behavior when on dates. Once his friend had placed his order, Sean took his turn. He ordered the shellfish platter, which included lobster, shrimp, and a crab cake, with wild rice and vegetable medley on the side.

After thanking the server again and handing over his menu, Sean hefted the bread basket and held it out to his dining companion. “Would you like some?”

The telepath intended to serve himself, but it was rude to do so without letting Josh take some first.

“So, Josh,” he said, taking a piece of bread for himself after Josh had taken some. “What would you consider the most interesting thing about yourself?”

That was more forward a question than he would ask on an actual first date, but he and his friend had an underlying degree of trust and familiarity. As such, he could be a bit bolder while they played this game.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh thanked Sean for the bread, taking a piece and setting it on his appetizer plate. There was some type of garlic butter....substance....available, as well, though whether it was actually butter or a substitute he didn't know. Whichever, it was bound to be tasty.

But it was more important to refill his wine glass than to butter the bread, and to that end he reached for the bottle that was between them.

Sean's next question was so surprising that he missed his glass entirely and ended up spilling wine onto the table cloth.

"Oh, dear," He fretted, taking care at his next attempt to get the wine in the bottle. "I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't get any on you?"

He placed the bottle to one side, sopping up the spill with his cloth napkin. How embarrassing; it was a good thing he and Sean actually knew one another already or that would have been a terrible first impression.

"Ahh...but to answer your question, I...ahhh..."

He had no idea what an appropriate answer might be. Really he was fairly average, and nothing was jumping out at him as satisfactory.

"I cycle to work unless the weather is too awful. It's good exercise, and heaven knows it's hard to work in the gym when you've got a demanding court schedule. Yourself?"