Dead Inside - tags Cameron

[Chester Douglas]

Chester hadn't seen Cameron in eight months. Mostly it had a lot to do with how alert he was in reading thoughts so he could actively avoid the blonde. But it had come to a point where he was just too tired. It took a lot in him to channel his thoughts to a specific mind and it was taking its toll on him. In the past few months, he had actually aged quite a bit. The dark circles under his eyes were the biggest tell.

It was also notable the fact that he had lost a lot of weight and what used to be a sinewy block of muscle was now just a shade above wiry. Clearly he wasn't doing so well.

Classes had just started and Chester couldn't be more tired. He couldn't wait to graduate next year and leave this place. Although if he were perfectly honest with himself, he would say it wasn't the place that he wanted to leave. It was the people. And the memories. And the damn thoughts.

Distracted enough that he didn't even look around, he sat at the nearest table that was actually occupied.

"Could you go somewhere el-" stopping mid-sentence, he realised who he was talking to and his breath caught in his throat.

Cameron. Of course.

[Cameron Osiris]

Nothing felt the same anymore. Cameron had sullenly packed his bags, good for a week, maybe two. He was going to California to visit his dad, he just couldn’t take being here another minute. He didn’t know what was going on with Declyn – only that he loved him, and honestly, he had stopped thinking about Chest. He’d gotten played, and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to drive his bike right off the mountainous highway.

Classes were starting up, but he had already gotten permission to leave. All he had to do was attend each class, grab the syllabus, and catch up on what he would miss. His trainer had put in a good word for him and his straight A grades were definitely doing him some favours.

His leg bounced up and down impatiently as class begun, and Cam was already busily scribbling notes into a small notebook he could easily take with him. Everything was already piled into his new truck.

Looking up to the late comer to class, whatever Cam was going to say got stuck in his throat. He gulped hard, a million thoughts exploding into his mind, all with the silver lining of knowing that Chester could read them. His fingers gripped the syllabus and he stormed out of the classroom. He had permission to leave, but the glances from his peers could read between the lines.

[Chester Douglas]

When Cameron got up and left, Chester didn't move. But he did feel the ache that spread from his chest. He didn't need this. Not right now. And if he ran from the class, it would emphasise the drama Chester clearly didn't need in his life right then. So he sat down and took deep breaths before channeling Cameron's thoughts, something he hadn't done since they first met.

I understand you walking away from me. I do. But what you don't seem to understand is why I did what I did.

Chester grabbed his notebook and started to scribble down the notes the teacher was giving, not finding any difficulty concentrating on both things at once, given his ability.

Are you not going to give me a chance to explain myself?

[Cameron Osiris]

Outside in the hallway, Cam felt his heartstrings pull. Chester was inside his head, always had been, knew he loved him, knew the pain Cam felt upon realizing he had been used. Knew everything. Cameron gulped hard and managed only to walk past two classrooms before succumbing to the voice in his head and sliding down against the wall onto the floor. Oh if only he could talk back...

But instead, visions of the last time Cam saw Chester, the first time they kissed, flooded his mind. What Cameron couldn’t understand was why Chester suddenly wanted to destroy him now.

It was never going to stop hurting. He couldn’t live without Chester even though that was exactly what he was trying to do.

[Chester Douglas]

Instead of getting the answer he wanted, Chester was flooded by emotions and his one moment of weakness. It reminded him that it was a stupid ass move and to someone like Cameron, it looked like betrayal in it's truest form. Chester did not betray Cameron though. He knew that. Even if he did, he did not mean to. At least in his own thoughts, he was being a standup guy. It was one kiss. Just one moment of weakness.

Cam...you can't do this to yourself. You can't keep thinking this is only affecting you. I'm not the bad guy here, Cam. I just had a moment of weakness. I'm allowed those, aren't I?

Chester sighed, jabbing a thumb up against the middle of his forehead. Too much information was jam-packed into his brain right then and it was giving him his usual headache.

I need you to understand that it wasn't my intention to kiss you. Not like that. Chester paused a beat, not knowing if what he was saying would make any kind of difference. Could you at least tell me exactly what upset you about it?