Cold Front (Zack)

[Alista Sabina Castillo]

Alista left the changing room, hobbling slightly on her sprained ankle, and flitted between the men's and the women's racks of the clothing section of the store. Most of her pants were starting to wear out, and she figured she might as well look for other things while she was here. It was going to get a lot colder soon, after all, and she didn't really have a good winter coat. Also, she just wanted warm things. Though she would only ever get pants from the women's section, she was fond of some flannels and hoodies from the men's section. What? Those things were soft!

Shopping for clothes was a significantly different experience from how it used to be. Instead of popping in and out as fast as she could to avoid thinking about her body as much as possible - or to avoid being clocked in the women's changing rooms - she took her sweet time, enjoying the sight of her body in the mirror. It had finally, finally started to become something she could stand the sight of, something she could be proud of and call herself. It had taken even longer for her to be comfortable in the men's section of the store. Alista still kept a wary eye out as she always did, but overall it was actually an enjoyable experience. She just wished she had more money to actually spend.

She popped her head above the racks of clothing and looked around. The store was pretty empty, with just a few people milling about the various sections. There was a man directly across from her who she briefly locked eyes with- wait.... had she seen him before? He seemed vaguely familiar...

[Zachary Mae]

Zack set out into town; he had just gotten done his work hours at Hammel. Hammel for the day was calming down from classes and such, which meant it was time for Zack to head home. He and Jay went their own ways, the boy said something about needing to train one more student. Zack was sad that they couldn’t walk home, holding hands, like they did sometimes. But, things were what they were and he wasn’t one to complain about things that he nor anyone else could change.


He walked through the town, wondering if maybe he should stop to shop for stuff. Not like food, stuff, but winter stuff. It had been awhile since he shopped for winter stuff, and he knew for a fact he needed some new things. So he stopped walking home, and walked into a random consignment shop. He wondered if Jay needed anything, then had a thought if he should just wait for Jay to shop around. Shrugging, he kept walking, walking toward the men section. If Jay needed anything, they could always go shopping again, or he could go by himself. He started looking through a rack of hoodies, he wasn’t even paying attention to the people around him. He just happened to look up, to meet someone’s eyes, who was on the other side of the clothing rack. He raised his eyebrow, the person who had looked at him, seemed to have ducked away pretty fast. Not that he blamed whoever it was, but he just shrugged it off.

[Alista Sabina Castillo]

The man raised an eyebrow, and Alista finally recognized him as Zachary Mae, her old friend at Hammel... who had graduated before she came out. Ah, fuck. This kind of thing was the reason she had had doubts about moving back to Pilot Ridge - sure, he had been nice and a good casual friend, but she didn't really feel like going through the whole explanation of everything that had happened since she had last seen him. Alista quickly ducked beneath the rack, hoping Zack would let it go.

She peered between two hoodies, and he seemed to have forgotten seeing her already. Right, then, that was that. She riffed idly through the flannels on the other side of the rack, wishing there were more in her size, wandering down the aisle while trying not to put too much pressure on her sprained ankle. She reached the end of the aisle, turned around- only to come face-to-face with Zachary Mae.

Oh jeez. Alista stopped and stared for a moment, wondering if he would recognize her. Then she would have to address the past and her awkward behavior.

[Zachary Mae]

Anyone would wish that Zack wouldn’t ask questions about Alista’s change.. But come on.. This was Zack he was bound to ask a few questions.. And some of them would be a little personal, maybe too personal. But he would really be genuine about it, nothing creepy. At least to him, it wouldn’t be anything creepy.

Zack stopped looking at the one rack, there was one hoodie he had his eye on, but wanted to look around a bit before he bought that one. Who knew maybe there was something else. See, this was where sales people got regular people, the normal person, looking through, sees something they want but still keeps looking and finds other things, so that one person buys all of it instead of just the first thing. He went on the other side of the rack, to look at the flannels, he liked flannels, maybe he could find one he liked.

But before he could start looking, a woman turned around and stared at him. He started back, trying to think how she looked familiar, she didn’t look too old, around his age… But he would have recognized her if they had been friends when he was in school. “Excuse me, do I know you?” Holy shit what if this was someone he had slept with? He never remembered any of the girls he had flings with, because that had all they been to him, were flings. Which made him sound like a huge douche, but at that point in his life, the last year he was at Hammel, had been one of his lowest points in his life. “Did I sleep with you?” Maybe if he just asked, he wouldn’t sound as much of a douche for not remembering? Yeah because that was totally going to happen…

[Alista Sabina Castillo]

For a moment Alista just stared wide-eyed at her old friend... which probably really wasn't helping the awkwardness factor. Say something, do something, don't just stand there like an awkward fucking duck, she thought to herself. The most she could muster was to glance around in both directions and try to look casual. She was probably just coming across as paranoid. Dammit, he was staring at her. She thought she saw a flicker of recognition on his face... he didn't know who she was, did he? She thought she had changed more than that, at least...

"Excuse me, do I know you?” Alista felt relieved that he at least didn't recognize her outright. Still, this was awkward as hell. Was there a succinct way to explain that she had socially transitioned without relying on those insulting "I used to be a boy" tropes? She didn't want to say that and misgender her past self, since she never felt like she ever had been a boy, just a girl who was assigned the wrong gender at birth and was brainwashed into believing it herself for a time. Uh, well..

"Did I sleep with you?"

Wait, what? He- he thought... Alista couldn't help herself, she laughed at that one, muffling the noise behind her hand. She had to admit that it was a bit flattering that that was the first conclusion he had come to. No, but do you want to? "No, it's- it's not that," she managed through her mix of amused and nervous laughter.

Her giggles - wait, since when did she giggle? - died down after a moment, and her face straightened. There was still the whole 'social transition' thing to address, and she didn't really see a way out of this one. She had already acted way too awkward to pretend that she didn't know him, and he would probably be left thinking he had slept with her and forgotten about it if she didn't explain what actually happened. "Uh..." Alright, think about what you're trying to say here. "We knew each other in high school, though it was kind of- I went by a different name back then..." Right, that was a woefully inadequate explanation. She lowered the volume of her voice so only Zack could hear it, not caring to out herself to the whole store that day. Or ever. "...and probably looked a bit more, uh..." A bit more what, Alista? "...male?"

Well, that was still questionable, but it kind of worked. There was still the matter of who she actually was to address, since she didn't really want him to come away from this conversation thinking of her as "that really awkward trans chick that I apparently knew in high school." "Last name's Castillo," she offered, hoping that would be enough for him to recognize her from the past. There was no way in hell Alista was giving out her dead first name. She didn't particularly feel like having a vomit-inducing dysphoria attack that day either. Please don't say it out loud, Zack...

[Zachary Mae]

Zack blinked at her, what was going on? Had he been a douche to her? Is that why she was acting so weirdly? He didn’t remember actually being a jerk to anyone, although he did have his dark year the last year he was at hammel, so maybe he had? Then again, she was laughing, so maybe it wasn’t actually that serious. However, he actually didn’t want to sleep with her, no offence to her, she was beautiful, but there was only one person he was ever going to want to sleep with for the rest of his life.


He raised an eyebrow at her giggling; it was cute, but weird. Why didn’t she just come out and say how they knew each other? He would have remembered if she was his student, he was that brain dead, he would have remembered that much. So, what was it? Then she started to explain, which really didn’t help, okay it kind of did. So high school, different, as different gender different, which meant he wouldn’t have slept with her. But that still didn’t answer who she was… Or was to him? Had they been friends? If they had he felt horrible for forgetting, he did not forget friends, maybe bed partners from his last year at school, but not friends. He wasn’t that much of a douche. “Okay.. Kind of helps, tells me I actually didn’t bang you.”

His eyes widen as he remembered the last name. “Oh my god!” He hugged her, he had missed her or him… really at least for Zack’s mind… “I missed you.” He knew there must have been a reason for her not saying her first name that Zack would know her as. Not to mention from before when she whispered the male thing. He wasn’t dumb, he could put things together. He stepped back, and looked over her, not pervertly, only because she had changed a lot since he last saw her. Zack looked at her, “You do realize you’re a chick right?” He said with a smile, in a hushed tone.

[Alista Sabina Castillo]

"Oh my God!" Alista blinked in surprise as Zack came forward and wrapped his arms around her. "I missed you."

Wait, really? She... hadn't been expecting that.

Had there really been something to miss about her before she came out as herself? Alista had thought that the nothing-to-see-here-just-a-guy mask had been on pretty firmly back then, making her seem pretty bland and kind of an asshole at times. Then again, Zack was a sweet guy, he didn't seem like he could really dislike anyone. She remembered him as someone she could just hang out with and feel safe around... come to think about it, she had let the mask slip a bit around him, hadn't she? Now that she took a moment to think about it, Alista had to admit that she had missed him too. It was just hard to be anything but coldly practical in these kinds of situations - after all, her very life was at risk if they went horribly wrong. Even if she knew Zack wouldn't do anything like that, it was habit at this point to minimize the source of gender-related conflict in her life as much as possible.

"Hey, I missed you too," she said softly, smiling and embracing him back.

The two of them stepped back, and Alista took the moment to look over him in turn. He did look more mature than when she had known him in high school, though he hadn't changed as much as she might have expected. She probably looked way more different than he did - at least, she certainly hoped so. She opened her mouth to say something - and stayed hanging open as Zack spoke. "You do realize you're a chick right?"

Wait- what was that even supposed to mean? Alista raised an eyebrow, looking a mix of irritated and baffled. All she could tell was that it was a tasteless joke about her gender, which she honestly had no patience for. "...as opposed to what, my gender falling out of the sky one day?" she managed to say, tone both bemused and sarcastic.

"Actually, Zack, I knew that since I was fourteen," she added, staring blankly. "It wasn't physically safe for me to come out until I was sixteen." Part of her wanted to to jar any assumptions he may have been making about her past self by pointing out that he actually knew her (albeit for a brief time) during the time that she was out to herself and no one else. Hopefully pointing out some of the harsher realities of her gendered existence would also indicate to him that this was a fucking touchy subject for her and a no-go zone for clueless jokes. Honestly, he was a friend, and she was willing to discuss some aspects of her transness with him, but it would have to be approached more sensitively than this.

[Zachary Mae]

Zack had never thought of Alista that way. Maybe she had seemed a little gloomy sometimes, but that didn’t matter to Zack. He just thought that she had been going through things, he never wanted to pry into her life. Apparently she had been going through things, he just wished he could have been more of a friend to her back then.

He really hadn’t meant to come off offence, more like just trying to get her to smile or something, icebreaker? But realized this topic had been much more sensitive than he thought it was, and should be for good reasons. “Well, to me yeah. Considering you were not this way physically anyways when I last saw you, and now you are?” It was a bit strange to see the person he had known for awhile had been a guy, and was now a girl. It made him wonder how much else had changed in Alista.



He nodded, “It was that age I realized I was attracted to guys just as much as I was attracted to girls, maybe even more so.” He had never told anyone that he had been bisexual in Hammel other than his siblings. It wasn’t sure why, he just never did, it had never been anything he had tried to pursue. “It wasn’t till recently that I had pursued guys. Or a guy really.” He placed his hands on Alista’s shoulders. “I’m proud of you, I know how hard it could be. And for you it must have been so much harder. And I’m sorry for that being able to be there for you. Because if I wasn’t in Korea, and if I would have known, I would have been there for you in a heartbeat.” He wasn’t trying to compare their stories, or say that her story wasn’t as hard as his, what he was trying to say, that she had more guts than he did. She was able to out herself, he hadn’t been, and his was less important than hers.

[Alista Sabina Castillo]

"Considering you were not this way physically anyways when I last saw you, and now you are?" Well... yeah, that was true, though Alista seriously doubted that there were no signs of her gender that could be identified by others in the time that Zack had known her. Then again, she had been hyper-aware of every gendered cue she was giving off in an attempt to avoid harassment and violence, so maybe it wasn't his cluelessness as much as it had been her own vantage point making it seem more obvious than it was. In any case, she supposed it must have been a bit jarring for him to see her now and know that she was the, uh... "boy" he knew years ago.

To Alista's slight surprise - and relief - he didn't get defensive or stumble over backwards apologizing, but nodded and became more serious as he responded. “It was that age I realized I was attracted to guys just as much as I was attracted to girls, maybe even more so. It wasn’t till recently that I had pursued guys. Or a guy really.”

Wait a minute, Zack was bi? Nice. Bi-five... er, pan-five? Bi-pan-five... okay shut up he's still talking.

Zack put a hand on her shoulder as he continued. “I’m proud of you, I know how hard it could be. And for you it must have been so much harder. And I’m sorry for that being able to be there for you. Because if I wasn’t in Korea, and if I would have known, I would have been there for you in a heartbeat.”

...whoa, emotional whiplash. A moment ago she was fucking irritated with him, and now she was really touched by his thoughtfulness. It hadn't really been a choice for her - 'transition or suffocate in dysphoria for the rest of her life' wasn't really a choice - but it felt good to have her struggles validated anyways, and to feel like he had a modicum of understanding without trying to directly equate their experiences. The offer for support, even if retroactive and practically useless, made her eyes water a little bit. "I know," Alista almost whispered, smiling gratefully at Zack. "It means a lot."

It took her a moment to realize the things he had said about his own life - wait - guy - does that mean he has a boyfriend now? And seriously, Korea? "How was Korea, anyways? And which guy did you... pursue, huh?" she asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Damn, they had so much to catch up on.

"I guess I should give you my name, huh?" she blurted, abruptly realizing that he didn't actually know her real name yet. God, this was weird, introducing herself to someone she had known for years previously. "Alista Sabina Castillo, at you service," she added flippantly with a little side smile. Sure, it wasn't strictly necessary to introduce herself by her full name, but she liked her middle name. If she had an excuse to say it, she would.

[Zachary Mae]

Zack was like that, he can go from non-serious/joking/being an ass, to being serious, and heartwarming. He really wasn’t sure how he could do it either… When he was a teenager he was never really serious, he just always liked being the guy who never took anything serious. He guessed Korea changed him, that or his sister did, because man was she always serious. “If you ever need anything I’m here for you, okay?”

He smirked, “Korea was nice. It felt more like just a visit, since I’m not even from Korea… I only went to stay with my sister who had moved back there to work on her acting career. I worked a bar, most of the time.” He had always played a role in a few movies, but he wasn’t the type to brag about that. “Which guy I pursued?” He raised an eyebrow, “Jayden Hersch. He was a friend of my sisters, met him, and fell in love with him when we were still at school..” He sighed, such a long time to wait… “What about you? What have you been up to since Hammel?”


“I actually don’t. I guess it would help to know.” He chuckled, he hadn’t thought about asking for the name her new name. “Alista Sabina, I like it. It suits you a lot better.” He smiled a little.