A Relapse Story (Vincent) {Trigger Warning}

[Adaryn Breslin]

Sluggish movements. Circles under the eyes. Blue eyes lacking the shine that had slowly began to present itself within them.

This was Adaryn Breslin, and it was obvious that she was not happy. Not in the slightest.

Despite her desire to stay in bed and wallow in self-pity and hatred, Adaryn knew if she did not show up to training with Vincent, he would find her and bring her to either his office or outside regardless. Vincent was an understanding man, never pushing her too hard. However, he was very adamant on attendance, and he wouldn't take her just blatantly disregarding a scheduled appointment.

Adaryn pulled on her jeans, ratty old black converse, a simple white shirt and grey cardigan, and was off to the meeting. It was about 5 minutes until she was supposed to be in his office, but a tardy would be more forgivable than a complete absence. Vincent would forgive her, anyway.

It took about 10 minutes with her pace to reach his office, and when she did, it was quite clear that Adaryn was not in high spirits that morning. She placed herself in the chair in front of Vincent's desk and muttered an apology.

"I accidentally overslept," She said simply.

That statement was not true at all. In fact, she wasn't able to sleep past 2 AM. It was because another nightmare invaded her dreams that night. This time it was Monroe, but he basically went around and exposed her secrets. People kept coming after her, screaming 'murderer' and Monroe, too, screamed that single word at her. In her mind, it was a fear she had. But deep down, Adaryn knew he would never expose her. It didn't stop her from freaking out, though. In fact, she was incredibly depressed at this point. On a scale from not at all(1) to suicide(10), it was probably an 8.

Addie said nothing more, and just gave Vincent a blank stare. "So what are we doing today?"

[Vincent Meian]

As much as she had fought him when she was first transferred, Addie was primarily a good kid. She didn't usually lash out at others, and she genuinely seemed to want to control her powers. She had a self-loathing that was common among students the Japanese man taught, stemming from problems with her manifestation he imagined, but as their sessions progressed she seemed to be getting more and more relaxed. Certainly, the rudimentary shields he taught her were getting stronger, and that could be cause for her less anxious state.

But recently, things seemed to be... sliding. Adaryn was frequently distracted when she arrived in his office, and today was no exception. Normally on time, the girl shuffled in and set herself down a few minutes late; not enough for him to become impatient and go to find her, but enough to put the tall man's guard up. Still, he couldn't prove she had overslept (or not), but given her state... it almost looked like she hadn't slept at all.

"There is no trouble," Vincent replied, not moving in his seat just yet. "Such things happen." If Addie wanted to speak on her bad dreams or anything else that was troubling her, he'd be more than willing to listen. But, since she moved on, so did he.

"Your shielding has been improving, from what I can perceive," he began. Addie knew he wasn't a psychic, so the trainer did not need to elaborate. "Therefore, I would like to test your sensitivity with them active. Create them as strong as you are able, then focus on keeping them strong while looking for my own mood discrepancies."

Normally, the musician in him would have gone with a different description, but Addie saw emotions as... a sort of aura, if he could take a guess. Those auras were opaque or translucent depending on the depth of emotion and her target's level of shielding, and currently in his relaxed state Vincent was only calm. A light, translucent blue, according to his student's previous observations, though likely tinted with his concern for her and his innate sense of pride. He had notes written on her color spectrum in her file, though that was more for his own benefit than the girl's.

"Would you prefer to stay here or walk as we do so?" Walking could give her a rhythm, something to focus on as she concentrated, but it would allow for unexpected distractions fairly easily. Staying here would avoid those distractions, but could (as it had at first) enact a sort of performance anxiety. It was up to Addie and her comfort zones.

[Adaryn Breslin]

Addie's mind was not entirely there as she allowed her thoughts to consume her entire being. She briefly heard his instructions, which allowed her to piece together what he had asked her to do. Shield up heavily. Try to read the emotions anyway. Already she could see the flashes of green within the light blue. She felt the prickle of shame on her skin, much like the feeling of a numbed foot just regaining feeling.

"Got it," Adaryn muttered, and started pulling her shield up, but in her distracted state, she could still sense the feelings around her, which meant she was obviously not doing it correctly. When her shields were entirely up, she saw and felt absolutely nothing that pertained to other's moods. Just her own. For a while, she was excited for that. Emotions didn't bother her much any longer, really.

She was so distracted that, the girl who always sought to soak in every word Vincent ever said, missed when he had asked if she wanted to go outside or stay in the office. Instead, she cursed as her shield fell once more. Clenched fists and pursed lips illustrated her frustration, but she avoided the trainer's eye in fear of disappointing him.

[Vincent Meian]

It was easy to tell that the girl was distracted and unfocused. She'd often been as such when they began their sessions some months ago, but by pushing her to focus on him and his voice, Vincent had been able to get through to her. To force her to pay attention, to understand that what was going on around her was equally as important as what was going on inside. No more, no less.

Watching Addie focus on her shields was always interesting, and the trainer leaned forward in his chair a bit as his emotions shifted a bit to display his intrigue. Once she had her shields up (most days), the brunette seemed to just relax like there was nothing in the world that could bother her at the moment. Not today, though; her face stayed contorted in that slightly sullen mix of concentration and distance. When she swore, it took a second for the tall man to realize it for what it was, but seeing her face easily told him what happened. She'd lost her focus.

But he didn't get mad or even a little upset. The intrigue faded from his emotions, replaced by the concern from before though more concentrated now. Disappointment was nowhere to be found, as he understood that sometimes a person simply could not have the right mindset for a task. This was one of those times. "Try again, Adaryn-san."

His tone was soft, pushing but not forceful. Though he was worried about what distracted her so intensely, he wasn't determined to make her work. If today was not a day for that, then she could have time to calm down.

[Adaryn Breslin]

"Try again, Adaryn-san."

His words were soft and encouraging. They almost seemed to be treading on thin ice, his words. It was like he was afraid of breaking her today, like she was this fragile piece of glass. There was no sense of disappointment, just the flash of green and the tingling on her skin. Concern. It was evident, and frankly, Adaryn just wanted it to stop.

Concern meant he was worried about her, and she didn't want him to worry. That would mean he actually cared, in which case, meant he might be saddened if she was gone. But she couldn't deal with this anymore. This constant heartache. This inability to please her parents. The hatred in her mother's voice, and the indifference in her father's, when she spoke to them. It was exhausting. But like Vincent requested, Adaryn tried once more.

She only did it because she wanted to get away from it all. The better her shield was, the less she felt. Adaryn's face contorted slightly at the strain she was putting on herself, and a throbbing sensation formed at her temples. This wasn't going to last long at all. She managed to get it to the point where she could no longer sense the concern or calm that he felt, but the headache was overwhelming. She closed her eyes, and the shield fell.

Adaryn groaned, "Great. Just. Freaking. Amazing."

[Vincent Meian]

She was trying too hard. That flicker of understanding was easy to feel, even if the idea was subconscious. By trying harder to focus, she was using much more of her ability than necessary, incurring the usual headaches that came with mental powers. He could see it in her hands, and around her eyes where the pain seemed to flare. Trying too hard, focusing too much, and failing. Which would make anyone agitated. It'd have made him upset, truly. But. This was not his training session; it was hers.

Taking out a bottle of water and the aspirin he kept there for such situations (since those he trained were often old enough to not be considered "children" medically), Vincent passed the pair across the table, resigning to the thought that things would be difficult today. It was a step back into that calm from before, though laced with the subtle cues of understanding. While he may not have been emotive in his features, the trainer was an open book to his student. "There is no need to hurry," he stated, leaning back as he gestured for Addie to take when she needed. "We have time."

There was a pause, a sort of waiting, before the tall man asked, "Is there something bothering you today?"

Normally not one to pry into the personal lives of his students, there were often times Vincent needed to be direct with such things. Problems in school, at home, or in the dorms could often lead to problems in the training room. Especially with a person as emotionally vulnerable as Adaryn Breslin.

[Adaryn Breslin]

Muttering a thank you, Adaryn stood up and reached over to the desk where relief sat so nonchalantly, waiting to be consumed. She sighed as she downed the required dosage, careful not to cause suspicion by eyeing the bottle for too long. In all honesty, her mind had just wandered to the simple idea of downing them all. But then her mind flashed to her sister, and she nearly stumbled backward.

Adaryn quickly placed herself back into her seat and nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just distracted, I guess." She was far from being fine, and she knew that much was obvious. Someone with Aspergers syndrome could tell that something was wrong with the brunette. That didn't stop her from saying she was alright, though. Adaryn was about to speak up once more, but quickly shut it as, simultaneously, there was a light ring sound that came from Vincent's desk and another image of the hatred in her mother's eyes when Adaryn told her that Louise's death was because of her manipulation caused her to lose her train of thought.

"Uh, if it's important, I can wait."

Another flash. The sound of screaming in her head. The reminder of that one dream so many months ago. No. No.

Adaryn stared down at her knees, but made no move to go anywhere. Not while Vincent was in the room, anyway.

[Vincent Meian]

The concern in him grew stronger as Vincent watched the poor girl fumble through even such a slight task, as she hesitated briefly after opening the bottle before taking her dose and sitting back down. There was troublesome behavior here, and he could see that something was wrong, but if Addie couldn't talk about it...

The notification tone from inside his desk snapped the trainer's attention, such was his surprise. No one should have been calling him today, at least not now. Everyone knew he had sessions during this hour. Thus, it must have been of some importance, though there was a slight aggravation to his feelings as he hoped fruitlessly that the person had called even five minutes ago. Glancing back to the brunette across his desk, he gave a slight sigh and removed the phone from the drawer. She didn't look like she'd be going anywhere, but he did worry about leaving her alone.

"I will take only a moment," he promised, standing and inclining his head slightly to the small girl in respect and apology. "Please forgive the interruption."

With that, Vincent left the room, closing the door behind him so anyone looking for him would know he was in a session or otherwise occupied. Then, entering in the code for his voicemail, he stepped away down the hall to get a clearer reception and a little more privacy.

[Adaryn Breslin]

She would only be alone for a moment. No harm done, right?

Obviously, she was clearly wrong.

Adaryn's phone buzzed as soon as he left, as if they were waiting until the right moment to call. Who they were, Addie didn't know. The minute she looked at the ID, she wished she had just ignored it.

'Mom'

Deciding against ignoring it, for the sake of her mother hating her any more than she already did, Adaryn slid her hand across the cracked screen of her phone (she had yet to get it replaced after it cracked it in her pocket that fateful day so many months ago) and hesitantly said, "Hello?"

"Adaryn." Her mother's voice was like a slap to the face. There was such formality to it. Everything her mother ever said to her was so impersonal, like she wasn't even speaking to Addie. Her throat tightened, trying to hold in a sob.

"I'd just like to inform you that you will not be allowed to return to us during your Christmas break. In fact, for the well-being of Carly, the state will figure out what to do with you. Oh, and I suggest you find another phone plan because we will also remove you from our phone plan as soon as the new year begins."

Addie couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. The only thing she could hear was herself. Her mind.

You're worthless. See, your own parent don't want you. You freak. You ruin everyone's life. At least they were smart enough to leave.

That was it. That was what just tipped her off. Adaryn slammed her phone to the floor, allowing it to shatter, and she ran to the desk looking for something--anything-- sharp. Something that could draw blood. And there, next to a pair of scissors, she grabbed an exact-o knife and shoved it, as well as her shattered phone, into her bag.

She opened the door slowly, much to her annoyance, and looked down the hallway to check for Vincent. When she noticed he wasn't there, she was off to the restroom, exact-o knife in her bag.

[Vincent Meian]

The call had been important, of a sort; it was Cassiopeia's school, calling to confirm a parent's meeting that had been scheduled (and rescheduled) numerous times due to various issues. Considering that it concerned the young girl's future, it was an important call, if slightly more lengthy than he'd hoped. It could have been resolved later, but... better to finish it now, he supposed.

Returning to the room some few minutes later, Vincent noticed the door ajar and frowned. He distinctly remembered closing it when he left. Concerned for his student, he called her name and pushed open the door, only to find the room empty and a drawer in his desk open. Even more puzzled, the trainer returned to the desk and scanned the open drawer for what could have been needed. He had the usual office supplies in the slim drawer; pens, pencils, clips and clasps, rubber bands and twine, scissors-

Wait.

Searching through the desk again quickly yielded the discovery that the pen-like utility knife he kept here for filing was gone. With someone who had a history of depressive tendencies, who had been acting worryingly upset. It wasn't much to go on, but warning signs were already flashing. He needed to find Addie and quick.

Taking his jacket in case his search lead him outside, the tall man closed the door sharply behind him, pulling on the olive green garment while swiftly walking the opposite direction he had before. Towards the dorms, now that he thought of it. All the while, doors were swiftly opened and closed, teachers stopped to be questioned as to whether they'd seen the slight teen or not. Even when results were negative, he kept moving. He'd find her eventually.

Though the Japanese man worried if "eventually" might be a bit too late. With that thought in mind, he sped up his search.

[Adaryn Breslin]

Adaryn walked as fast as she could without bringing attention to herself. She continued to look in her bag as a sort of diversion, and made noises of frustration to sort of 'explain'. With those signs, it could be obvious she would have 'forgotten' something at her dorm. What they didn't realize was that she was really preparing to do something she was going to regret for the rest of her life. But at that moment, she really didn't care. If she would die, that would be alright by her.

If Adaryn's own parent's abandoned her, what is stopping anyone else from doing the same?

It was obvious that she was far from perfect. She was stupid, useless, and basically a waste of space. She hadn't spoken to Monroe, someone she could easily consider her best friend, in weeks after the incident with the dream. He knew she thought it wasn't him and yet he still allowed her to continue. She couldn't forgive that. It hurt too much.

And then the nightmares every single night. The body on the floor. The sobbing. Adaryn hiding in her room, horrified. And when Carly screamed that first time in a year that she tried picking her up and hugging her. Nobody would miss her. She had no one left.

Adaryn reached the dorm and slammed the door shut behind her, glad that her room mates were not around. Probably training sessions of their own, she figured. The less distraction, the better.

You're awful, The voice in her head told her. She took out the knife

I know, Addie responded, threw off her cardigan, and dug the knife along her right arm as hard as she could.

Pain shot up her arm, but she continued until about five inches diagonally across her arm was cut. The only reason she stopped was from shock. Adaryn dropped to the ground, her entire body shaking. What had she just done...?

Blood was pouring out from her wound, and she knew she should patch it up, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything but cry. The bloody knife fell from her hands and she wrapped both arms (the one she cut on the inside) around her midsection and sat there, eyes wide, and breathing uneven. She didn't even hear the knock at the door.

[Vincent Meian]

The search ended up leading the trainer to the dorms, and a quick conversation with the dorm monitor confirmed that Addie had literally just been here. At hearing the anxiety in his voice, the younger adult had pointed him up the stairs with the proper room number, and Vincent darted up them, taking the steps two and three at a time in his haste.

What Addie didn't know, in her grief and anger and depression, was that there were people who cared about her. People who weren't related by blood, who had nothing to gain. People who could, if she only asked, understand what she was going through. Who could help her get through this. Through the nightmares, the pain, the abandonment, the grief, the depression, the anger. People like her trainer, who had seen all of this and more.

Had he killed his own sister? No; but neither had Addie. Did he know what if felt like to believe that your powers had taken a life in a moment of lapse? Yes. Tens of times, yes. And he still regretted every one, even if it couldn't be proved. And just like her, he'd contemplated ending it just so that no one would have to worry about it ever again. So that he wouldn't have to face those graves and grieving families again.

If she'd only asked, he could have helped her.

Reaching the landing, the Japanese man strode down the hall, catching his breath from the short burst of intense movement, then found the designated door. Scarred knuckles rapped sharply against the wood, then again when there was no answer. "Adaryn-san!" he called out, knocking again. "I know you are here. Please, open the door."

Hearing no response, Vincent listened closely for any sign that the girl was inside and safe. He could simply enter and be done with it, given his reasoning and concerns. If he was wrong, he could break the small amount of trust the girl had in him. but if he was right...

"Adaryn-san? Please answer me."

The crying finally reached his ears, and that was more than enough for the tall man. Forcing the door open, he crossed the common area, following the sound to another door and opening that without any of the previous hesitation. Though he'd been expecting blood, this drained color from the man's face before his combat training kicked in; there was just so much of it, dripping through her fingers and staining her clean white shirt crimson.

Then, the split second passed and he crossed the room, looking the weeping girl in the eyes as he removed the jacket about his torso and threw it over her shoulders. She swam in it, but it would give her some warmth and comfort for something that was probably going to hurt quite a bit. "Adaryn-chan," he stated softly, using the more familiar suffix to imply a gentleness that was openly expressed in the taciturn man's face for once, his long-fingered hands brushing the wavy hair from her face so she could see him. "Where are you hurt?"

His emotions were plain for her to see and opaque in their intensity; concern, fear, and grief, flickering through with a caring that was equatable to affection and an intensity that was tinged with impatience. Here, in this moment, her normally stoic teacher was openly showing that he cared, that he wanted to help. That he wanted her to live.

[Adaryn Breslin]

Adaryn didn't register anything but her own thoughts at that very moment. Not the warn, sticky feeling that spread across her shirt or the sound of frantic knocking at her door. Not the sound of Vincent calling out her name, begging her to answer him. Not even the pain. Her thoughts consumed her, or rather, thought. A single question, though it was repeated in her mind in many voices: Monroe, Travis, Tori, her own. What have you done? They all asked.

I...I don't know, Adaryn choked out.

She was shaking, her blue optics wide as she finally realized Vincent was in front of her. Addie hesitantly looked at her arm and then down at her stomach, which was soaked in her own blood. She had cut before, that much was evident by all the small white scars along her arms. Adaryn was sure he wouldn't be looking at her scars now, though, being that she was bleeding so heavily and she even began to get dizzy. The brunette might have cut a vein, she wasn't sure.

He placed his jacket around her, and maintained eye contact with her. From such close proximity, the concern that was a faint buzz before, was like a bright neon sign. Affection slipped through with a calming lavender, but the fear almost overwhelmed it all. It outlined his aura, weaved it's way past and through the other colors with its suffocating black. Adaryn whimpered, not being able to say anything at that moment, even though he asked where she was hurt.

Adaryn knew that he wasn't her father. Adaryn knew that he was in no way related to her. Adaryn knew she shouldn't even do what she was about to, but she had to. She needed someone that would just let her cry and not ask questions until later. Addie reached out with her good her arm, though it was still stained with blood, and opened and closed her hand once. It was a gesture she used to make with adults when she was younger, except with both hands. It was that universal 'pick me up' or 'hold me' signal. He'd probably carry her to the infirmary or even call an ambulance, whatever was quickest. However, the only thing she cared about at that moment was being held. She wanted to feel like nothing more would happen to her. Usually father's gave that security, but since she no longer had a father, and nobody else was in front of her, she gratefully opted for Vincent, instead.

[Vincent Meian]

Though he could see the white scars on her arms, such things did not matter to the tall man at the moment. His greatest concern was that his student would survive this mistake. Fortunately, the act of cutting into the arms as Addie had (even if hitting a vein) was a slow process of bleeding - they had time, even if there wasn't much of it.

Her glances and whimper told him enough of the story, and very carefully his hands took her small arm from her stomach. The shirt wasn't cut (which meant no abdominal injuries, thank the stars), but the wound up her arm was long and started deep. Covering the deepest portions with his hand and grasping tightly to apply pressure, he looked up at the brunette and her grasping hand gently. "In a moment," he answered softly, touching her grasping hand with his free one gently. "I need to help you first."

Vincent never minded being a father figure to his students. It was part of who he was as a teacher, as a trainer - someone people could look up to and come to with their problems. It hadn't happened often in his career, but it was still frequent enough to denote a pattern. It probably also didn't help that he treated his students (all of them) like they were his own children. Then again, given the students he trained, it probably didn't hurt either.

Breaking the eye contact for a moment, the trainer spotted the cardigan and a long pair of socks nearby, both appearing to be clean enough despite being on the floor. Considering that stopping the bleeding mattered more than infection right now, they would work just fine. "Adaryn-chan," he stated, looking to her again. "I need you to hold your arm in a moment as I do now, and very tightly. So much that it hurts. It will help stop the blood after I bind it. Will you do that, as a favor to me?"

Now that he had calmed somewhat, the emotions emanating from the Japanese man were not as intense, and the fear had subsided to mold in with the concern. Now, his colors dictated the concern and worry, but an assured confidence interlaced with kindness. And, as always present though now more prominent, the whole of him was honest. He was here to help her, not to hurt her, and he would hold her as long as she needed once the immediate danger was past.

[Adaryn Breslin]

The fear faded. Thank goodness. The black was almost threatening in its snake like slither through his aura. The two emotions she couldn't bare: anger and fear. Depression was manageable because of it's cling-like nature. It wanted to hold on. It wanted to thrive. When strong enough, it would start to wander, but it would take a lot to get like that. Fear liked to grab the hearts of anyone it could find, as did anger. Much like a black hole was so powerful, light couldn't escape, fear had the same effect. As did anger. Once captured, you couldn't release yourself until there was a distraction or you acted on those emotions. It sought to consume.

Green buzzing, a gray blanket like low stratus clouds, lavender, a soft glow of yellow kindness... She tried to hold onto that. The last two were the only calming emotions that Vincent displayed. Adaryn wasn't used to this, him being so open with what he felt. Desperate times called for desperate measures, maybe. Desperate measures also meant he told her no when she requested to be held. He wanted to help her first... but that would help her! Although she knew it wasn't right to say that, she wanted to.

He held her arm tightly, which caused an intense throbbing to almost scream worthy pain to erupt in her arm. The... high she had gotten while doing the act was long gone. Her hands shook despite Vincent's firm grip. She tried to hold back a cry, but that proved to be futile. "Ow..O-Ow..." It was breathy, almost sounding like a choking noise in the back of her throat rather than a word. She bit down on the inside of her lip, but she made sure no more blood was drawn from her body. That was enough.

"O-O..." She couldn't even get out the word 'okay' in her hysteria. So instead, she just nodded once and waited for it to be over.