Holy Cooking Catastrophes Batman! (Adam)

[Lani Hunter]

So Lani had this package of chicken breast and a box of rice and he was going to make himself dinner. He figured he had to eventually stop getting microwave meals and take out. He had Googled how to make chicken and there were directions on the rice box. How hard could it be? He was going to try to use the skillet. He pulled it out with determination and put a little bit of oil in it and let it heat. Meanwhile he sliced the chicken into cubes. Moving onto the rice Lani put the rice in water and let it boil. He took some residual water from his hands and flicked it into the skillet to see if it was hot. To his surprise the water did bubble but in doing so it flicked tiny droplets of oil and made a loud popping sound. “Woah,” Lani exclaimed backing up until the sound stopped. Okay, no injuries so far so good. The rice was boiling and so Lani covered it and let it simmer setting a timer.

He put the chicken in and stirred it around a little bit. He glanced down as something bumped his leg, one of the three cats Darshay a pretty tabby creature, her brothers LJ and Shadow were finding things interesting elsewhere, probably harassing Adam’s dog. “Hey-la Darshay,” Lani said watching her as she rubbed up against his legs demanding attention. He stirred the chicken numbly. He loved the cats, but they were a constant reminder of Odion and a constant reminder of what they had been and how they had broken into pieces. He shook his head and looked to the spice rack. They didn’t have a whole lot, after all how many spices did one person actually need? He grabbed some onion powder and garlic powder. Those were good weren’t they? He just dumped an arbitrary amount in and shrugged wondering if he was going to inadvertently poison himself. What else could he do? Lemon juice, Greek chicken had lemon juice. He put a bit of that in as well.

He set aside the spoon and put a lid over the chicken and let it simmer. He couldn’t remember if that was something he was supposed to do or not but it seemed logical. Without thinking he reset the timer for another fifteen minutes. Stooping to pick up Darshay he carried her into the living room and sat grabbing one of the toys and flicking it around until he threw it a little ways and let her on her own. Calling his book to his hand he settled back. Lani wasn’t sure how long it had been but LJ had settled himself on the arm of the chair and started meowing. Lani looked up and frowned but LJ kept at it. LJ had always been Odion’s cat and Lani wasn’t sure if LJ missed Odion or was just randomly very vocal. Then something didn’t smell quite right. Smoke? Oh shit! Lani jumped up and rushed into the kitchen. Without thinking he grabbed at the lid of the rice and hissed pulling it back. He went for the chicken first. He took off the lid for that and a puff of black smoke rose from it making Lani cough. “Oh shit!” He said as the fire alarm started to beep. His power grabbed a towel and started fanning smoke away from the alarm and he took a spoon and tried to move the chicken to see if there was anything salvageable.

[Deleted]

So, Adam was in his lair when it all happened. He was plugged into his computer, figuring out some coding shit for some game that he didn't want to scour through just to find the easter egg that had been dodging him all this time. Too much work to find, but too much work to hack into it and just pull it out too, but at least the latter he knew how to do and didn't have to figure out. Yup, one of these days he was going to the big leagues and make some jailbreaking software or something for Apple products so that people who don't specialize in Apple products could specialize in Apple products because Apple was very good, too good in fact, at making sure their products were nobody's specialty.

Anyway, he was in his lair when he smelled the smoke. He didn't think too much of it, because people cooked and people burned stuff. But when the fire alarm went off, that's when he freaked. Because fire alarms equaled fires, right? That, and the sharp, piercing noise was enough to make Paco start yowling and yipping in distress.

Adam stumbled out of his room, crossing over the line of salt he'd trailed over his threshold, and barged into the kitchen as much as one could barge into a room with no actual door. "H-hold on! I know what to do!" he announced as if he actually knew what was going on. He didn't, he had no clue as there was smoke everywhere and things were flying around which he didn't have time to remind himself wasn't because of the ghost in the closet, and his dog was still yipping along with the fire alarm making his concentration just that much better.

Adam pulled one of the dining room chairs over the fire alarm and stepped up to it. He pushed one of the buttons.

Nothing happened. Still blaring.

He took it off the wall and fumbled with the buttons in the back. Still nothing.

Finally, he just ripped it out of the wall and pulled out the batteries.

That should have worked, right?

"What the hell is wrong with this thing!?" he shouted, grasping his blonde hair in a frustrated fist.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani heard the dog before he saw it, that high pitched bark that was doing nothing to ease the situation at hand. At least the cats had done what cats do and gone into hiding as soon as the obnoxious beeping started going off. Lani didn’t know that Adam was home until he came bursting out of his room. The chicken was charred and making it hard to get off of the pan which then made it burn all the more. He tried to scrape them off and small pieces of chicken were flying everywhere as he tried to do so, some of them of course landing on the adjacent burner still holding the rice and immediately popping and burning. Lani ducked away from any oil that was splattering and he was momentarily distracted by Adam’s voice through the smoke.

Part of Lani was skeptical but another was glad Adam at least had some idea of what the hell to do. Really the dog was not helping and it was getting underfoot and Lani was having to focus on not crushing the miniature creature and trying to keep more spoke from being produced. All the while the fire alarm kept blaring. Oh no! Everyone was going to hate them, or more accurately Lani, if the whole building had to evacuate into the snow because he had no idea what he was doing. “It’s a smoke detector! It’s made to go off no matter what!” Lani called through the smoke unaware that Adam had in fact tried to kill the poor thing. He redoubled his efforts to dispel the smoke his power flapping towels and oven mitts all over the kitchen.

Lani had all but forgotten about the rice until he saw a tint of orange. “Shit!” He said for the millionth time. “The rice!! The rice is on fire!!” Lani didn’t even know that rice could catch fire! Panic took over and Lani tried to remember anything he knew about putting out fires. He grabbed the pot with his power, trying to keep it away from him and dropped it into the sink immediately running the water which, though it succeeded in putting out the fire it also succeeded in saturating the air with more steam and smoke. “Can you not shut that damn thing off?” He asked as the idea occurred to him that the pan with chicken in it should probably also find its way to the sink and under running water. Lani cursed as he tripped over the dog and knocked into the chair Adam was balancing on. The pan would have hit the ground if not for his power and he reached up to steady Adam. “Sorry!”

[Deleted]

With the entire room still filled with a billowing mixture of black and white smoke, Adam was flying blind, so to speak, as he navigated his way around the kitchen, stumbling over something that yelped and skittered off to the other room…only to come yipping right back. But when the popping started(unknowingly from the chicken), Adam ducked, covering his head with his hands and stupidly shouting, "We're under attack!"

Of course that made sense. They were under attack and whatever secret organization behind his had thrown a smoke bomb in the kitchen laced with a fragrance to smell like something burning, and then were following up with rapid-fire weapons. That was definitely the most logical explanation.

That was surely why Adam was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off and not quite knowing what he was doing while still assuring the masses(that is Lani and the animals) that he knew exactly what he was doing. There was the sudden announcement that there actually was a fire and a plea to stop the alarm and everything was just going too fast! The chair shuffled beneath his feet and he thought he was going to fall if not for Lani catching him before he planted himself face-first into the floor.

With the smoke detector in hand and still blaring, Adam suddenly got the bright idea that maybe opening a window would help dispel all the smoke that had accumulated in the apartment and, subsequently, into their poor lungs. Adam was surely hacking up a storm by now but he still took some action. He dashed to the main room(a whole of three steps away), pulled open the curtains, and yanked the window-pane to the side, sliding it at an awkward angle and concurrently popping the screen off in the process. In yet another moment of madness, probably brought on from the alarm still going off, the dog barking, and the onset of asphyxiation, Adam chucked the smoke detector out the window into the parking lot and headed back to the kitchen. He grabbed a towel and started fanning the smoke with it. Adam could still faintly hear the alarm beeping outside like a bad car alarm. "What…in heaven's god's name happened in here!?" he shouted.

[Lani Hunter]

“What?” Lani bleated in alarm, under attack?! From who? Where? Lani’s power stretched out, somehow forgotten in all of the disarray, it only identified the two of them so if there was another person in the apartment that meant they were nude and Lani’s power couldn’t feel them. Lani decided that an intruder was probably the least of their problems at the moment and as he started water steam rose and for whatever reason Lani couldn’t even think of where the nearest fire extinguisher was. At least the water seemed to be doing the trick. Lani was completely unaware of the conspiracy theories Adam was already cooking up in his head, if he did he would probably very surely decide to get Adam a collection of conspiracy theories for his birthday or something.

Lani was honestly going to punt the next small animal that darted through his feet across the room, cat or dog. The smoke was getting dense and hot as it mixed with hot steam and Lani’s eyes burned and he was almost glad he was stead enough on his own feet to make sure that Adam didn’t take a nasty spill. Damn animals. They were so badly underfoot, the dog more so than the cats who had either been darting through the kitchen or finding places to hide in the living room or Lani’s room. Lani turned on the fan over the stove on hoping to help dispel the smoke a bit and then the fan that hung in the dining area adjacent to the kitchen. It seemed to help but the smoke had nowhere to go.

Before Lani could say or ask Adam was already heading for the window and the light and fresh air cut through the dense smoke and yet the fire alarm still blared. Until it didn’t. Lani heard it in a strange Doppler effect and suddenly the sound was dull and at the very least no longer blaring in their ears. Lani grabbed the towels he could with his power and his hands and started to join Adam in fanning the smoke out of the room. “You just threw the smoke detector out the window!” Lani shouted as if Adam were unaware of what he’d just done. Lani considered them lucky that the fire department and their neighbors hadn’t arrived to demand to know why they were setting things on fire. Lani heard Adam shout from the living room and moved so he could squint through the thinning smoke at his roommate.

He smiled sheepishly. “I was cooking,” he called and breathed a little easier as the smoke started thinning a little bit more. “Sorry, I guess it burned…” Well, someone had to state the obvious. “Are you alright?” He asked and wished he had some way to make the smoke get out faster as he pumped his arms and the towels like fans trying to push out the smoke. The source of the smoke was now reduced to a sad state of blackened char on the pans and half soaked with water. Lani only hoped that the pans were salvageable. How on earth were they, or rather Lani, going to explain this to the leasing office?

[Deleted]

If it wasn't an attack then where did those popping noises come from? Though the more he thought about it, because thinking was obviously something that could be done in this situation, the more he realized that it didn't matter and if there really were intruders and attackers, then they probably had a good enough cover. Or they'd be dead already and Adam was fairly certain the burning sensation in his lungs meant he was still alive and slowly suffocating and not barely alive and bleeding to death from being shot in the chest.

Though Adam would probably love that book and as it happens, Adam's birthday was only in a few more days.

Adam barely heard the fan over the stove turn on over all of the beeping and barking and skittering of creatures underfoot, and he thought, why hadn't that been on in the first place? Oh, well didn't matter it wasn't and they had a room full of smoke, and two suffocating humans and a bunch of suffocating animals! They needed to dispel the air quickly which was why Adam had gone for the window, which seemed to help somewhat.

"What was I supposed to do!? The stupid thing wouldn't turn off!" Okay, Adam knew that that was probably a dumb idea, but he would worry about that later and plead temporary insanity if questioned by the fire department about why he tampered with the stupid smoke detector. At least it was quiet. Mostly. The dog was still yipping and Adam was about ready to throw Paco right out the window too! Adam swatted the little mutt with the towel. "Go to my room, Paco!" he instructed the chihuahua. It skittered away and Adam went back to fanning with the towel.

"Cooking?" Adam repeated as if he didn't hear loud and clear the first time. "That was not cooking! That was…that was….something, but definitely not cooking!" Even Adam could tell and he himself was a horrible cook. At least it was over now. At least he thought so. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just on the verge of stage III lung cancer, but you know, peachy." Was Adam a little irate? Possibly.

He could still hear the dull beeping of the smoke detector outside. "Shiiit…I should probably go get that…." Now that things had calmed down a little bit, he realized how incredibly stupid that was. And he could probably figure out how to turn it off now, no problem. Adam stepped to the door and opened it, letting even more smoke go outside. He chuckled, now somehow amused. "Where the hell did you learn how to cook, Lani?" he asked, shaking his head and turning it back to his roommate. It was pretty funny now that he thought about it.

[Lani Hunter]

This was a circus, and they both would be a whole lot of dead if someone was actually attacking them. It was a very good thing that Lani took Adam’s assumptions with a grain of salt, though one day one of Adam’s crazy theories was going to be real and that was going to be a terrible time for everyone. Adam was most definitely getting a book of conspiracy theories for his birthday. Though, Lani wasn’t sure he should fan the fire too much, but this was honestly just entertaining. Well, they both had a pretty good dose of crazy in them, maybe that made them good roommates. Lani was just praying no one had called the fire department on them, that would be embarrassing.

Lani shrugged despite the fact that Adam probably couldn’t see him doing so. “I don’t know but I’m pretty sure throwing it out the window was not the best idea.” He shook his head, the beeping was still slightly audible from outside but at least it was no longer blaring in their ear drums. That little thing was resilient. Like it was determined to do its job no matter what. Stupid smoke detector. Well, one problem at a time, clear out the smoke, get breathable air back in the apartment then worry about the stupid smoke detector. Seriously what had Adam done? Was it really so hard to turn off a smoke detector. At least they still had a smoke detector, if Lani’d gotten his hands on it they would have several pieces of a smoke detector.

Lani ducked his head and was glad for the smoke because his face was red with embarrassment. Adam was mad, fair enough, for all Lani knew he had accidentally woken his roommate with his cooking shenanigans. Lani couldn’t help but laugh a little bit because this whole thing was beyond ridiculous. He had no idea what he was doing. He might as well have been mixing chemicals for all that he knew what he was doing. And the rice, hell he didn’t even know it was physically possible to set rice on fire. Lesson learned. Maybe if he hadn’t gotten distracted. Oh well. “I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that,” Lani said in a slightly scolding tone. Cancer was no joking matter, but Lani would let that one slide for the circumstances. This would be his luck. Attempt cooking for the first time and nearly burning down the whole building. Great.

“I got it,” Lani said and letting go of the towel in his hand it started to flap on its own. It was a really good thing Adam didn’t believe in ghosts anymore. At least, so Lani thought. He went to the window and stuck his head out. There was luckily no one around paying attention to the smoke detector. Stretching out his mental hands he found it and called it back. It had luckily just barely missed one of the parked cars on the street. That would not have been fun to explain. It soared upward and the sound increased in volume as it arrived back at their window. In Lani’s hands he turned it over and he looked up at Adam with an air of annoyance. He turned it over and there was a little red button that said reset. He pressed and held the button and after a few seconds the detector ceased it’s screaming. “Very nicely done.” Lani said sarcastically and tossed the smoke detector to Adam.

Lani was honestly relieved that Adam was laughing, because that at least meant he wasn’t so furious that he wasn’t going to speak to Lani again after this. He smiled sheepishly and did his best to look as innocent as possible when he answered, “The internet.”

[Deleted]

Right now, Adam was going crazy. And even if he didn't think so right now, in about a week's time he was going to be telling this story to all his forum buddies and gaming buddies in about 10 different ways. Each way, of course, being vastly different than the other and each demonstrating his own heroic prowess and his roommate's stupidity.

Obviously completely leaving out his own.

"It's all I could think of to do at the time." It was the quick and easy solution, he couldn't even see properly. "I plead temporary insanity, your honor." Adam wondered if the thing was still in one piece, having been thrown so far. It'd be pretty amazing if it was. Adam coughed again, trying to get some oxygen in his lungs. The smell of the burning was intoxicating and not in the good way that certain intoxicants could be. Man, he was going to need a drink after they got this cleaned up.

The only reason Adam was upset was because Lani nearly burned the apartment down. He hadn't been sleeping, but he had been doing some veeery important opinionated blogging, speaking out and revealing "secrets" that the government didn't want the citizens to know about…of course he had no proof of any of this, but the government was a very resilient organization that hid it's secrets very well. They could hide, but they couldn't stop Adam from making people think!

Anyway, his lair contained all of his important computer hardware that he used for these endeavors, one of which was something on an ongoing project. If Lani had burned down the apartment, then he would have lost all that valuable data! Then Adam would have had to kill his dear roommate.

Before Adam could move out and retrieve the detector, Lani stopped him. Sometimes Adam forgot that his roommate was a meta who could move things with his mind. He still thought that was the most awesome thing in the world. Seriously, how often do you get to see a smoke detector fly up from the parking lot and into someone's hands? Or see towels flapping about like they were being held by ghosts? Though he still wasn't completely convinced it wasn't a ghost. He watched as Lani flipped the thing over and turned it off with ease. "….hey, how'd you do that?" Adam demanded. "That's exactly what I did and it didn't do shit! That's not fair! That thing is totally trying to make a fool out of me!" Then he pointed at Lani. "You planned this, didn't you? You rigged that thing somehow with your powers or whatever to not like me, yeah, i'll bet that's what happened." Was he serious? Who knew?

"Hmph, from the internet….Can't trust nothing from the internet these days." Hypocritical considering where he let off most of his rants, but none of those rules applied to him because he was a tried and true freedom fighter, so it was okay! He pointed again, still chuckling all nervous-like. "You're not allowed to cook anymore."

[Lani Hunter]

It was only fair, in the opposite situation Lani would likely be prefacing his story with ‘So my roommate is an idiot…’. And really it wasn’t anything that didn’t warrant a story. Lani would most likely not tell anyone and if Adam ended up telling someone that Lani knew he would say there was something wrong with their stove or something. When Lani told the story it wouldn’t be his fault, though it was absolutely his fault. If he hadn’t gotten distracted he would likely not have let this happen. He was not looking forward to trying to scrape the char off of the bottom of the pans and not to mention that now he was going to have to get take out.

Lani burst into laughter, he couldn’t help it. The whole thing was just ridiculous and Lani honestly couldn’t believe this had happened. “It was the smoke, right?” Lani agreed letting Adam’s excuse fall. If Adam ever told this story around Lani he would be well versed in pointing out how Adam had gotten into a fight with the smoke detector. The air was at least clearing well and with the door open as well the air was flowing through and dispelling the smoke. Lani was glad Adam had been home at all to help with the during and aftermath of the whole kitchen explosion, though Lani would never admit to that. Lani shook his head and took a few gulps of the clean air that was coming in and was very glad that he had a roommate who was fully prepared to help him stop the apartment from burning down.

There were reasons that Lani thought Adam was crazy, but in all fairness there was not exactly complete sanity on Lani’s side. So Lani may or may not have done a little snooping when Adam had first moved in, mostly to determine who it was he was going to be sharing his living space with. On paper, Lani could see the conspiracy theorist and the online blogger but nothing on paper could have possibly prepared him for when his roommate actually moved in. It was clear from their first meeting Adam was probably a little superstitious but Lani had not expected to find salt lines on the floor. Admittedly Lani had been tempted more than once to break the line and move a few lines, just for giggles, but he also didn’t want Adam to move out, so he refrained. Lani merely messed with him other ways, Adam just made it so easy!

Lani was completely down for getting a drink after this, but that wouldn’t solve his food problems. No wonder his mother kept sending food, she must have known he would be starving. Or at least not eating well enough for her liking. Which admittedly, was probably for the best. He knew Adam wasn’t that great of a cook either, but he also hadn’t almost destroyed the world with his first try. Sure Adam was crazy, but so was Lani, and the telekinetic had grown rather fond of his roommate, he was pretty sure that they should both be institutionalized but it worked for them.

If Adam brought up the ghost one more time Lani was going to do it. He was going to break that goddamn salt line and casually wonder if Adam was hearing noises at night. “There’s a button,” Lani informed his roommate as if he was a child. “You must’ve not,” Lani retorted, “Or else you wouldn’t have had to throw it out the window.” He pointed out and then the whole thing digressed. Lani smiled and bit his tongue. “Me?!” Lani cried in shock, how did Adam’s ineptitude with the smoke detector become Lani’s fault? Lani gaped at his roommate for a few moments longer before shaking his head. “Fine, Adam, you caught me. I burned our skillet and set rice on fire, tried to burn down the whole fucking apartment. All so that you could come and be fooled by the smoke detector.” He said his voice dripping with sarcasm. He passed his roommate into the kitchen and drummed his fingers together and cackled, “I’m a criminal mastermind.” He broke character and laughed patting his roommate, who might have flown over the cuckoo’s nest, on the shoulder .

“Hmm,” Lani agreed from the kitchen, that’s what they were going to blame, not the fact that Lani was just bad at cooking. Lani looked over the sink at the state of what had been at once point chicken and the black and white thing that was once rice. He sighed and shook his head. He was an idiot. Lani looked at Adam and gave him an innocent smile. “Oh-ho really? Will you cook for me then?” He asked jokingly, “If not I’m afraid I’ll starve then.” If Adam wanted to forbid Lani from cooking he was going to have to deal with the ramifications, which was essentially Lani being as annoying as possible. No one told Lani what he could and could not do.

[Deleted]

"Exactly! The smoke, lack of air, and Paco's stupid barking!" Adam turned his head to address his pet down the hall. "You hear that, dog!? This is all your fault." A complaint to which the small animal only responded with a whine as it buried itself under the blankets of Adam's bed. "Shiit, dumb dog." He loved that thing, but honestly, it could be a pain in the ass. At least dogs weren't as dumb as cats, who didn't even come when you called. Useless.

Adam had good reason to believe that there were ghosts in this apartment and maybe even in this whole complex! Hence the salt, it helped him sleep at night. Though he was starting to wonder if maybe he shouldn't put up another barrier or something because he was getting the distinct feeling that something had been snooping around in his room every so often, moving things, touching things…of course Adam knew it was a ghost and not just his roommate being an invasive prick. Adam may not be a meta but he had a sixth sense about these kind of things. Yeah, it was probably those same ghosts that decided to troll Lani and make it impossible for the other man to cook anything properly. Adam was sure of it! The reason that the fire started on the rice wasn't because it had been left on too long at a high temperature, but because an evil spirit had contaminated the rice cooker with negative energy and caused it to malfunction.

That was Adam's explanation, and he was sticking to it. Until he forgot it and came up with another.

Or until Lani fessed up and admitted that he was responsible for the whole thing for the express purpose of causing Adam an unfortunate amount of frustration while battling with the smoke detector. "Well, it's nice to hear you finally admit it," he said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. "But since you came clean about it, I forgive you." Adam kept a straight face for about 3 seconds longer than Lani did before joining him in his laughter. This whole situation was just completely ridiculous, the only thing that could've made it more entertaining was if they had a couple of "special" snacks to enjoy during the aftermath.

"Hell no! I'm terrible at cooking! Unless it's brownies, coz those things you can't really afford to mess up, that's just a waste of ingredients." As if anything else that didn't work wasn't a waste as well. "Nah…guess we'll just have to work some pizza and KFC into our diets until one of us gets a girlfriend." Because girlfriends would definitely come over on a regular basis to cook for them, right? That's what they were for, right?

[Lani Hunter]

Laughter spilled out of Lani’s lips, now that the real danger had passed it was hard not to laugh at it. And the fact that Adam was now blaming the dog. Poor Paco. “Awe,” Lani said in sympathy for the little creature, “He was just trying to help.” He joked, “Better than the felines.” He said and peered around the living room looking for the trio of kittens. This was a scary situation, Lani’d be lucky if they came out of hiding tomorrow. Lani had to agree with Adam on this one, cats were useless. Though it also depended on the cat. Lani knew if he called LJ or Shadow he might get a turn of the head, if he was acknowledged at all, occasionally Shadow came, but only when he felt like it. If he called Darshay though she would come. He just assumed that just like LJ had taken to Odion, Darshay had taken to him. And the third cat, well Lani didn’t think he liked anyone.

Adam made his crazy too obvious and it was as tempting to Lani as if someone had just left a bag full of gems on the side of the road. Admittedly Lani would probably assume it to be a trap, but the temptation would damn near kill him. In Lani’s defense he hadn’t actually acted on his impish desires in Adam’s room, yet. Outside was fair game. Now, Lani couldn’t speak for what might happen when he was sleeping and he knew better than most that his telekinesis didn’t always slip into slumber when it’s master did. So, in this case, Lani might be making a ghostly appearance in Adam’s room every now and again, especially when agitated. Lani was probably the primary reason Adam did thing there were ghosts in the apartment. He hadn’t realized when he’d played that first trick how much Adam would take it to hear.

Lani couldn’t take Adam seriously and snickered despite his roommate’s serious expression. Lani would have said something snide in return if he hadn’t been laughing his guts out. Give Lani a beer and he’d be content with the way things ended. So long as they didn’t have to explain to their landlord why they burned down the building Lani was alright. Lani finally regained control and wiped his face groaning a little bit as the pain increased in his temple. He propped himself up against the wall and surveyed the kitchen and living room. The air was getting clearer and though the smell of burnt food was still strong, they were nowhere close to choking to death on smoke anymore.

With a shake of his head Lani smiled and worked to hold back another bout of laughter. He was ignorant of the ingredients of brownies, he was more distressed by their inability to operate their kitchen. “Ugh, Adam, we’re going to starve.” He chuckled a little and held onto his stomach, now that the minor crisis was over Lani was starting to remember how hungry he was when he started cooking and how much more hungry he was now. Lani’s grin never faltered but his eyes flickered with tension at the mention of relationships. Lani’d never told Adam about Odion, he never saw the point, Odion was never coming back. Oh, if only the telekinetic knew how wrong he was about that one. He shook his head and gathered his thoughts. “Dude, I wanna be there when you inform your girlfriend of that fact.” He knew that even if he were dating Adrianna that kind of comment would get him a kick in the ass. “But, speaking of pizza, how do you feel about splitting some?” He asked already grabbing his phone and digging around for a number.

[Deleted]

"Yeah, help me pop an aneurysm, I tell you. That dog is out to get me, especially ever since I stopped feeding him canned food." Adam turned his head down the hall. "You hear that Paco! I'm on to you!" he shouted to the dog. There was no answer. Really, that mutt was such a wimp, so wonder it resorted to such devious and diabolical machinations. Hell, Adam was certain that Lani's cats could eat the rodent alive if they pleased, it was no wonder he was always hiding, he was outnumbered, the word to one. And the only way he could fight back was from the shadows. Yeah, Shadow Mutt! Underdog, only ten times wimpier.

Even if Lani's power hadn't been playing tricks on him in the dead of the night(which at this point there was no way to prove it one way or the other as neither party could say with conviction that anything was happening at all,) Adam's superstitious paranoia was to the levels that he would still blame the spooks for just getting a creepy chill in the middle of the night or for it being too quite or because Paco was running in his sleep. There was evidence of them everywhere trying to interact with the living, even with that funky shadow on the wall or that stain in the carpet(which was actually a spaghetti stain, but Adam wasn't about to break his vow of silence on that matter.

"Hey! Who said you could laugh at me!?" Adam demanded, though he was starting to laugh as well, though not quite as much. It really was all pretty ridiculous, Adam was definitely going to tell his friends about today, maybe even put it up on his blog. Yeah, that'd get some readers. If all went well, it might even go viral, and if that happened Adam might even have to thank Lani for putting on such a show.

"You betcha!" Adam said as if girlfriending was something he knew all about. "I'll bring her right over as soon as I snag me one! Or three!" Because Lani didn't need to know that Adam had never had one before. Or that he hadn't even made it past first base with a girl before. Nope, Adam was in chronic denial about that level of pathetic he encompassed.

Before, Adam wasn't even close to hungry. He'd been locked up in his room and snacking on doritos and stuff when the smoke invaded his room and he was interrupted by the beeping of the smoke detector. But now that all that insanity had calmed down, he was starting to feel the pangs in his stomach himself. "That sounds like a plan to me," Adam agreed, digging into his back pocket for his wallet. "Need some cash? I got a ten." Adam waved up the bill with a cheeky smile.

[Lani Hunter]

Adam was, if nothing else, amusing and Lani had a very hard time taking his roommate seriously in general. Lani was very nearly incapacitated as Adam called to his dog. Conversations with Adam were never boring, that was for certain. Wiping at his eyes from the water that had slipped out from the corner from the hard laughter, Lani leaned against the wall, his power flowing through him and into the floating towels making them flap like sine waves. It was getting easier to control his power. He’d bottled down his emotions and gained control or a sort. He was still more inclined to shut his power down when he was angry than let it roam freely, he didn’t have that kind of control yet. And as always there were accidents. He shook his head at his roommate. “If you ever go missing, I’ll question the dog,” he reassured Adam.

The other blond wasn’t doing a good job of making Lani stop laughing. The more he tried the harder it was for Lani to keep control of himself. He’d finally gotten himself under control and he just shook his head at Adam, the smile on his face making him look like he was up to something. “Technically,” Lani held up a finger to give Adam an argument in return, “You’re laughing too. Therefore I’m not laughing at you.” He shrugged and his shoulders shook with his effort to keep from laughing more. His eyes were bright and he was finding this all the more hilarious because he was certain when everything started to catch fire they were done for, which the fact that he was still standing a very lighthearted endeavor.

Lani’s laughter finally waned as his thoughts drifted. He looked up at the shelf where Odion’s hat had been. He’d long since thrown it out. Everything else that reminded him of the redhead was hidden from the world and even more hidden from himself. Only the kittens remained as a constant reminder of his own stupidity. He blinked and looked at Adam, realizing he had zoned out in the span of the conversation and it had moved on without him. He wasn’t sure how much he missed but he blinked in surprise when Adam declared he was going to get three. Lani rewound, he didn’t think they’d changed the conversation and if he was right they were still talking about girlfriends.

Lani shook his head at his poor ignorant roommate. “It’s your funeral,” he said with a smile. “Just make sure you don’t double or triple up on your plans, ‘cause I am not saving your ass when that happens.” No Lani did not want to get between three furious women and their target, no thank you. He’d dealt with one angry Adrianna and that was enough for him. He didn’t pay much attention to Adam’s dating life, for all he knew he could be one of those guys, but he was going off of the fact that he’d never been around at the same time Adam might have had a girl over, which wasn’t unheard of but it made Lani doubtful. And the fact that Adam was eating as much take out as he was.

“I’ve got a twenty,” he said and snatched the ten out of the air. Adam should know better not to wave money in front of Lani’s nose, the thief would take what he was given. “I’ll take this as your half. What do you want on it?” He asked as he found a number and started dialing. He paused waiting for Adam’s answer before he committed to calling.

[Deleted]

"Oh, I get it, trying to mince words, are we? Get all twisted on the details? Laughing is laughing, no matter who else is laughing!" Though that still didn't stop Adam from laughing. He was at this point just arguing for argument's sake. Adam could argue pointlessly all day if he had to, all in one breath. He had to think that maybe that was his meta power or something! Yeah, that'd be cool, Adam was meta-human with the power of….talking? Breathing? Lung capacity! That'd be it, because obviously Adam was also an expert on this whole meta business. And that was his power.

If only that extended to perception as well, because Adam noticed exactly nothing when Lani left the conversation momentarily. The surprised look was taken to be one of disbelief, as if Lani thought that there was something gradularlly wrong with the blonde spaz, so much so that the notion of having even one girlfriend was far beyond even his superior charming capacities. And to this Adam had no choice but to take offense, especially in Lani's follow-up which only confirmed Adam's acutely accurate suspicions. "Oh don't you even bother to worry your little peanut brain, you can't even begin to imagine how incredibly smooth I can be with the ladies. If I want to juggle, I can juggle, no problem!" Not that he'd actually done that because he…hadn't. Nope. Damn, he needed at least one girlfriend so he could go ahead and show off to his residential companion just how much cooler he was than the meta with his flying dishtowels and flaming rice.

Speaking of flying things….

"Hey!" Adam protested when his bill was plucked from his fingers and started flying across the air. "That was…completely unnecessary. That's like less than 10 feet, I coulda handed it to you!" Really, was Lani just trying to show off? Because Adam's level of impress was somewhere in the negatives right now. Sure, Lani could poltergeist his way town and all, but he couldn't even make rice! And clearly he couldn't simply walk a few measly feet to pick up something he was being handed. That was supposed to be cool? "You are effing lazy!" he said with a characteristic point of the finger. "Anything, I ain't picky much."

[Lani Hunter]

Lani shrugged and lifted his hands in yielding. He did his best and ended up with bobbing shoulders as he struggled to hold in the laughter. When Adam started laughing again Lani couldn’t hold it in anymore and covered his mouth as he grinned impishly and the laughter escaped through his teeth before he got it back under control. If that was a meta power, Adam very well had it. Lani had never met someone with the capacity to talk as much as he did about nothing. If there was one thing he had learned about Adam, having lived with him for a while now, it was that he talked often and boastingly and passionately, but there was actually very little that slipped the other blond’s attention, and Adam did, it seem, put a lot of thought into his theories, they just came out as he thought them. Lani may have started following one of Adam’s blogs. It was interesting and knowing Adam as a person not just a computer screen was interesting.

Now that didn’t mean Lani didn’t think Adam was a little off the deep end sometimes. But in an endearing way. He smiled, Adam was a roommate but Lani had against his best efforts started to think of Adam as a friend, he was interesting to talk to and always had a unique perspective on things. Lani gaped at Adam for a moment before snorting out a laugh, not at the idea of Adam getting a lady, he honestly had no idea if Adam was really the lady-killer he claimed or not. He was laughing because even in his insults Adam was hilarious. “Okay, Adam,” Lani said when he recovered, “Just don’t ask me for help if one meets the others and they go all ‘John Tucker Must Die’ on you.” Yes, Lani had seen that movie, but could he be blamed? He had a little sister who loved those kind of movies.

Lani jumped a little at the exclamation. He had to catch the bill before it became apparent that he’d dropped it in shock. “Hey, if it bothers you when I use my power just say so.” He snipped in reply. Lani raised his hands and shrugged nonchalantly. “Whatever,” he said, Adam could think Lani was lazy all he liked, but Lani was over here paying attention to the phone number and, sure he could have walked over, but that would have taken less effort. His head wasn’t aching at the moment, which was a plus, and he’d since put the towels down and what was one more stretch of his power. “Okay,” Lani said with a shrug and dialed. He ordered a large with pepperoni, onions and green peppers and was told it would be there within thirty minutes. Thanking the man on the phone Lani hung up and slouched against the counter. This had already been an eventful day.