Bare (Lani.)

[Odion Martins]

Odion had been out of his mind once or twice before, but never like what had occurred over the last few months. He knew things had to get worse before they got better, and having many sleepless nights since arriving back in America was not doing him any favours. Odion still hadn’t found a better place to live, and he hoped that Lani hadn’t figured out how Caroline had been involved in all this just yet. It was killing him not being close to Lani, close in every sense of the word. Almost every day Caroline would inform Odion that her mum missed him, and that just started the pain all over again.

He couldn’t lay blame on his power alone, but it certainly hadn’t helped in the matter. Odion toyed with the necklace laying on the table, and today, decided to wear it over his shirt rather than under. It was a miracle he hadn’t lost it or sold it in the state he had been in, desperate for cash to get his next fix. The last three months of his time amnesia had been cleared up after speaking with Jared, and Odion realized he owed his friend his life. This fact didn’t bother Odion, what did bother him was that he had been so desperate that he had completely lost himself. He had become another person. How was Lani supposed to forgive that part?

All of this thinking and wishing had begun to play tricks on him. Odion had every intention of telling Lani was what going on, but time wasn’t through with Mr. Martins just yet. The more Odion thought of how perhaps he had tried to wipe Lani from the mind, the more he was realizing how true this had been. And because he knew himself and the extents to which he would go in order to let Lani go, he had built traps within the solution. In order to access those memories, he was going to need Lani. There were simply too many loopholes to decipher. Odion had been trying to go back in time and see things for himself, but everything was blank.

Because Odion was as stubborn as he was, he had pushed himself too hard. He had gone back to Boston, had revisited what he had lived through with Lani and his ex-boss. It had ended at least, and Odion was glad for that. It was just another thing to check off the list. And then there was their summer trip. Odion had a hard time going back to see just how happy they had been. He didn’t want that to be a thing of the past. He had gotten as far as watching them in the airport before he had to pull himself out. Not only was it painful to watch, but he could feel himself slipping back into that strange, dark feeling where everything was cold. This was hard to admit to, but he couldn’t do this alone.

Odion was about to do the most vulnerable thing he had ever done in his life. Picking up his phone, he gave Lani a called. Nothing else was helping. Avoiding the problem wasn’t helping. Getting high or drunk wasn’t helping. Trying to mend his power on his own wasn’t helping. “Lani?” He asked as soon as the telekinetic had picked up. Odion’s mind had wandered and he wasn’t sure if he was actually talking to the blond or an answering machine. Odion sighed and looked around. He had no idea where he was. One minute he was at the school, now he was outside. “You told me to tell you when I remembered, and I’m getting there, but I need your help.” His mind convulsed and his hands trembled. It was another loophole. The moment he began acting unlike himself was when his brilliant mind betrayed him. If he couldn’t figure out what he had done to himself, then this was never going to work. He had forgot he was on the phone at all, as the device was already back in his pocket.

Odion had made it so that he could live in a world without Lani by making sure that Lani hadn’t existed. But even that plan had been flawed, because not every string had been cut, and there were too many memories to wipe out completely. The only reason why Odion was back and had remembered anything at all was because one memory had trigged another, and this had turned into a domino effect of remembrance. It was causing lapses in time and he was having a hard time telling present from past.

Now he was outside of Lani’s apartment, sitting by on a bus bench. Or maybe he had always been there. He glanced over his shoulder, wondering where he was, knowing only that it looked familiar and he couldn’t place why. Nothing made any sense, and Odion had to suppress the rage that threatened to engulf him into the abyss of his mind once more. It was why he was so tired of fighting – the angrier he became, the more this tangled web of fictional time would consume him. Odion simply sat on the bench, staring at nothing, acknowledging no one.

[Lani Hunter]

The day after Odion’s birthday Lani had had a relapse of sorts. It was a bad day. He’d gone to see Avi and then he’d gone to see Caroline. With Caroline he’d been able to break down. Everything was so confusing and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he was hoping for but Caroline hadn’t had any answers for him. He still was in the dark about who Caroline was always texting. When he’d pressed her about it she’d told him to mind his own business. He’d been too distraught to argue and then Lani tried to talk to Adrianna, but she wasn’t answering him. He didn’t blame her, she had her own things to deal with. He’d reverted back to avoiding Odion. It was easier that way. It was easier than facing him every day without an explanation or a response for what happened on his birthday.

Lani was starting to regret having gone. He put his masks on and faced the day, it was starting to feel as though an understanding had passed between them and like simple acquaintances they’d exchange smiles when they passed, Lani always pretending he had somewhere to be. Lani didn’t know Jared was back in town and nor did he realize that Odion’s power was taking over again. He had been reading a lot. Escaping into the pages to ignore the insanity of his own life. It was easier to read of the follies of others instead of his own. He’d never be a reader if that one English teacher hadn’t gotten it into his head. Lani bit his lip and shook away the memory, maybe he was bound to destroy every positive relationship if formed. He was starting to feel cursed. Cursed by his own stupidity.

The sound of his phone cut back into his attention and he finished the sentence he was on, his power calling over the phone. The number wasn’t one his phone recognized, so Lani sat up and answered with a wary, “Hello?” He dropped the phone at the sound of the voice on the other line. He was seriously going to have to find this ‘friend’ and slaughter them. “Odion?” He asked uselessly as he scrambled to get the phone back to his ear. He heard a rustling and there was no answer initially. “Hello? Odion? Are you there?” He was starting to wonder if Odion hadn’t dialed him by accident or something. He took his phone away from his ear and checked to make sure he was still connected. When he put it back he heard Odion’s voice again. It didn’t quite sound right. Disconnected and strange through the earpiece. Concern drifted into Lani and his brow creased. “Yeah… O-Okay. Uh… Where you at? Do you want me to meet you?”

Another long pause. “Hello? Odion?” A beeping in his ear caused him to take the phone away and he looked and saw the finished conversation. Lani blinked in surprise as the call vanished. He called back but got nothing but voice mail in return. Lani cursed softly. “Don’t worry about me, he says,” Lani muttered darkly under his breath as he rolled out of bed and looked for his shoes, “Everything’s fine, he says.” He wasn’t mad that he was being pulled away from his book, he was channeling his worry into something nonproductive like complaining so that he could think and do something that wasn’t stand around and pull his hair out. Lani’d been able to force Odion to the back of his mind up until the point Odion returned and Lani hated the fact that he couldn’t get him out of his mind.

He paced the room for a few moments considering what to do. He could try calling again. He could go back to reading and assume the problem was solved without him. Lani’s eyes fell on the book safe and with shaking fingers he touched the compass laying on top. On a whim he picked it up and turned with it until he was facing due north. Or he could choose to find him. Lani tossed the compass lightly into the air and caught it before pocketing it on a whim. He could choose to go after Odion this time. He put on his shoes and grabbed his comfort hoodie and snuggled into the warm fabric before grabbing his keys and leaving his apartment. He would start at the school first… Lani looked up startled as he opened the door and exited the building and saw Odion sitting there. Well. That was easier than he thought.

Lani swallowed and approached Odion from behind skirting the bench around the opposite side. “Odion?” He asked of the redhead as the time turner stared off into space. He glanced quickly over Odion, taking a moment to check for any sign of bodily hard and his eyes caught sight of something silver against his chest. Lani’s heart stopped as he recognized it. He stood rigid and uncertain staring at Odion his mouth hanging slightly agape. He didn’t think that Odion had kept it. He shook his head forcefully and tried to get it back into operational mode. “Odion, are you okay?” Worry overtook Lani and he took a step forward and hesitated, taking a step back, fear making him shy away from taking Odion in his arms.

[Odion Martins]

School had always been a joke to Odion, so as more and more days passed since his twentieth birthday, he started showing up to classes less and less. There just wasn’t any point in pretending to have a semblance of a normal life anymore. What was the point? He didn’t have anyone he needed to convince that he was normal. Besides, Lani was at school. Lani was at school and was pretending like they were little more than schoolmates. Odion was far from stupid, and he was beginning to think that maybe all this had been a mistake. Surely Lani would’ve said something by now. It was like Odi’s birthday hadn’t even happened, it wasn’t like he could remember most of the night. And none of that silliness mattered now, as it was finally time to be serious. If Lani didn’t want anything to do with him, Odion would rather he just say so instead of dragging things out like this.

But despite all these thoughts and being more upset than he already was, Odion had called Lani. He was the first thought Odion had every day and the last person who came to mind when he went to sleep. But if all of this was too much for the telekinetic to handle, then he hadn’t been the man Odion thought he was. There weren’t a lot of people Odion was willing to risk his life for, and he had for Lani. If Lani ended up being a coward when all was said and done, then perhaps there was a reason they had went their separate ways to begin with. But Odion didn’t know the whole truth, and he wanted to give Lani another chance because nobody was perfect. He would continue to wait, but the more they waited, the more Odion tried to delve into his own mind and this was why he was calling Lani at all – as a first and last resort.

Odion hadn’t heard Lani the first time. He was trying to check out again. The world didn’t matter if he didn’t have any good memories left. He could only be hurt so and so many times before something cracked. Odion could take a beating, but this was just too much for any one man to handle. The only thing Odion could hear was a high pitched buzzing sound which he had grown accustomed to, like a damn leaky faucet one simply never got fixed and got used to. Drip, drip, drip, buzz. When Lani spoke again, Odion thought it was in his mind. He could never truly escape Lani, and in Odion’s mind, the telekinetic had become the shadow he always wanted to be. Glancing sideways, Odion felt himself returning to the present, and time seemed to resume.

“Lani.” Odion said in relief. He remembered why he was here, and where here was. Odi stood and blinked, unsure of what to do with himself. There wasn’t the excuse of being drunk anymore. It was just the two of them and the mess they made. “I know what’s happened in the last three months,” he said, cutting to the chase. This was important, and it was important to do before he forgot where he was again. It was destroying Odion, remembering little things and then forgetting them just as quickly. Odion glanced down and licked his lips. “Jared, he found me in Europe,” he looked back to Lani, “it’s a long story.” And it had been the beginning of his new melt down, so he wasn’t going to start telling it here.

Of course Odion would remember what he had said the night of his birthday. Lani wanted to know what Odion could remember, and now Odion was filling him in. It wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t whole, but it was all Odion had. “And I’ve been trying to find out the rest but...” he trailed off, about to lose himself, but he willed his mind to stay. You lose yourself now, you’re done for. Odion took a deep breath. “Give me a moment.” Odion said instead, sitting back down on the bench. He knew this was going to be hard, he knew this was going to make him grow. He just hoped he hadn’t hurt Lani, especially when he couldn’t remember if he had or not. Odion had his elbows on his knees, and he couldn’t meet Lani’s eyes. “I tried to erase you.” There, he said it. Odion ducked his face into his hands and just tried to focus on breathing.

Trying to break through his own tricky trap was only working in increments. It was like he had to challenge his past self into wanting this badly enough to sacrifice for. But nothing was so bulletproof it couldn’t bend eventually. Odi simply was not at that point yet. Again, he forgot where he was, and concentrated only on the dark space he was staring at. Maybe if he couldn’t see Lani, he could say more. That was another part of himself he knew too well – he always had to be analyzing those he spoke with. But the more he tried to work around the problem and trick himself, the worse his own mind pushed back.

Looking up, Odion felt deeply confused. This was guaranteed to scare Lani away forever – and maybe that was the ultimate full proof plan. If his own mind couldn’t trick him, reaching out for and trusting in Lani would certainly be the final nail in the coffin. Past Odion had certainly tried to make sure neither Lani nor himself would ever be hurt by the other again. “I tried to erase you,” Odion repeated, because he honestly believed he hadn’t said that part yet. And if he didn’t get that thought in now, Lani may never know. But it was like every time he tried to convince himself of what he had done, he had a hard time believing it. Had he really tried to remove every part of Lani from his life? How could Lani accept that?

[Lani Hunter]

The closeness he’d felt to Odion on his birthday had scared Lani and he was hiding. He was hiding from his problems. Like a coward. He knew it and he couldn’t figure out what was in his head. The memories of the seven months kept him from coming closer, the fear of the return of that agony was enough to keep Lani from reaching out. He felt like a child who’d reached out and touched a burner. He wouldn’t be so easily fooled again. Lani had thought that Odion was starting to avoid him as well, and Lani’d let it rest with a heavy heart. He’d convinced himself long ago that what they had was gone and now that it was dangling in front of his nose all again he was wary of taking the bait. At the same time the fear that Odion would leave again was very present, and he knew he had no right, since he was doing nothing to make Odion stay.

He watched Odion and his brow creased with worry when the redhead didn’t acknowledge his presence. Maybe his calling Lani had been a mistake, Lani wavered and held his ground. He didn’t want to leave Odion here. Not like this, he seemed like he was sleep walking. Like he had done once or twice while they were at school together. Looking at the redhead it broke his heart. He closed his eyes and stood just waiting, speaking again and hoping Odion wouldn’t shut him out. He bit his tongue, he had no right to expect or want anything from Odion. Not when this was his fault to start out with. Abruptly Odion snapped out of it and Lani did his best not to look startled when Odion did break the silence. Lani swallowed and waited for Odion to say something more.

Lani perked up in interest and surprise. He wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing, he couldn’t tell from Odion’s tone, it sounded more of an informative statement than one attached to emotion. “Okay,” he said with a nod, “Odion, that’s good… right?” Lani was nervy, but he was trying to be encouraging and optimistic for Odion. A smile slithered briefly across his lips before disappearing. Thank God for Jared. Lani’d had a very limited relationship with the other thief and Jared had been a help and he was glad that Jared had been there for Odion when he wasn’t. He bit his lip. He wasn’t there. “Okay,” Lani said again, it could wait. As much as he wanted to know he didn’t want to press Odion faster than he was ready to reveal himself. Coming clean about things and being vulnerable wasn’t something either of them did well, if they hadn’t been separated for seven months and if pain hadn’t built an ocean between them Lani might have pressed for more, but for now he let it stand.

Lani nodded, not moving from where he stood when Odion went back and sat. “Take your time,” he said patiently. A random thought passed briefly through his mind. One thing Lani never been good at was patience. Maybe the meditation was really helping. He shook his head and focused back on Odion. It was hard to stand here holding himself back when Odion was so much in pain. Then he said something Lani’d never expected. Lani went cold all over and the ground beneath their feet trembled as Lani’s power dropped into it. Thinking back Lani probably should have thought to sit as well because his knees were threatening to buckle and his mind and heart went numb and for a moment all that existed was sorrow. Once upon a time he’d heard someone jokingly say never to surprise a telekinetic.

Odion had dropped an emotional bomb and Lani’s heart froze recoiling from Odion and Lani stood there and stared at the redhead seemingly uncomprehending. But things were flashing through his mind. Memories and nightmares. He wanted to run but his legs weren’t moving. He was paralyzed while his mind spun up a storm. He gritted his teeth and he knew the only thing keeping him from lashing out and destroying Odion was the fact that Lani had had the thought to wipe Odion from his memory, as well. The difference, Lani had said it and never acted upon it. Thanks to a dear friend he’d dropped the thought had never gone beyond that and Lani had set his mind to recovering and shielding, forgetting. He’d done his best to forget, yes, but erase? It was like someone had taken a shovel to the side of his head and the telekinetic pressure popped his ears and things were starting to float gently, like the calm before the storm.

Repeating it knocked Lani out of his paralysis and the ground rocked and the unlit street lamp shattered. It was still light out and nearby someone cried in surprise but Lani ignored them. His eyes flashed and he was struggling to keep from withdrawing into his power and becoming that unfeeling creature. “You… we… Odion.” Lani was having a hard time formulating coherent sentences and then to his surprise he let out a bark of laughter. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes to try to physically hold back the teams. “Oh my god! I’m such a fool!” The crazy thoughts of Odion being in Europe with Rhett, laughing about how well they’d deceived him rose in his mind and he shook his head. “Such a fool!” He was such an idiot. He got it now. Odion hadn't 'accidentally' stayed away, he'd accidentally returned. He'd forgotten that he wiped Lani out, erased. Like he never existed. He rubbed the tears away and launched his words at Odion like weapons his eyes flashing dangerously as his power raged behind his eyes. “So what?! You came all this way for what? To tell me that? God Odion, why didn’t you just stay away? Was staying in Europe not enough of a punishment?” All of the emotions poured out, anger, fear, sadness, betrayal, all laced within the painful questions.

[Odion Martins]

Odion knew he had been high because he was now at the ultimate low. He had felt close to Lani, but it wasn’t real. It was the remnant of what they once had. Too much time had passed between them when they hadn’t been close, and they were pulling at memories of a past that was no long their present. Odon was scared too, but he wasn’t scared of being close, he was scared of losing everything all over again. Odion had been the one to chase Odion the first time around, and he simply didn’t have the energy for that this time around. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he simply couldn’t put his mind through that kind of work right now. Lani was worth sticking around for, but everything seemed to be at a standstill. And to be fair, Odion needed to figure himself out before he could move forward.

Odion wasn’t exactly in his right mind, but he was sober, and that was good enough for him to pay attention to social cues. Lani looked worried and unsure of himself. Everyone seemed to be making themselves bare around Odion. The more he let his guard down, the more those around him seemed to do the same. None of the thieves he had ever met were truly as cold hearted as they claimed to be. The masks fell and everyone suddenly remembered that they were human, and things didn’t always have to be mind games. Odion was experiencing enough mind games, he didn’t need to create more out of his own volition.

Odion nodded a few times, “In a sense.” It was good because he knew exactly what had happened, he knew of all the stupid choices he had made and how he had acted towards someone he considered a close friend. It was good that he knew, but what he had done had not been good. Finding out what had happened in the most recent past also gave Odion a new lease on his power. It seemed to be functioning, but only to a certain extent. Odion couldn’t do the tricks he once had, which was probably from lack of use and a lot of suppression. The more he tried to access his power, the more likely he would remember Lani, at least that was the conclusion Odion was toying with now. The redhead gave Lani a knowing look – they would most certainly discuss it further. But Odion didn’t want to destroy himself again before they even began.

The world was spinning. Odion was only telling Lani this because it had been the wrong move. Life was a giant game of chess, and Odion had had a moment of weakness. Surely Lani could understand that. If he truly had wanted to forget Lani entirely, he wouldn’t be here right now trying to reclaim what he once had lost. These thoughts consumed Odion to the point where he had forgotten he had admitted it the first time. He felt like he was floating by himself, and there was nothing but a void filled with his own emotions and thoughts. He felt betrayed by his own actions, and yet like he had succeeded in what he first set out to do.

Feeling as though it were the first time he were saying it, Odion wasn’t prepared for the reaction. He watched Lani as he spoke, feeling like the most horrible person in the world. And perhaps this wasn’t too far of a claim to make. Something broke above him, and Odion didn’t even flinch. There was enough turmoil between their looks, that Odion was afraid that if he looked away Lani would disappear forever. Deep confusion ran across Odion’s face. He had no idea why Lani was calling himself a fool, it was clear who the fool was here. “I didn’t mean to hurt you...” Odion said, trying his best, “I never wanted to, I’m not trying to now.” Odi bit his lip, drawing blood. This was the foolproof plan going into action, because somehow past Odion knew that Lani would overreact, and out of all the threads of time that could happen, the blond would most likely not recover.

And then Lani finally snapped – that was the Lani Odion knew too well. The redhead felt welded to the bench and all he could do was take the words Lani was saying to heart. But he refused to let himself get lost again, and if his first thought was to be meek and mild, that meant he had to be the opposite – it meant he would have to wear his heart on his sleeve, and not hide how each beat was making it bleed out. “I just found out! You asked me to tell you, and if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be here right now.” The redhead knew Lani cared now, it only made sense. If Lani had truly given up on him, he would have stayed away from him at all costs.

Odion wiped the escaping tears and nodded. “You want me to leave? That’s fine, you won’t hear from me again, no one will.” Now Odion stood up, fueled by the rage he was trying to keep down. “I know what my life looks like without you Lani, so you should be fucking happy right now!” Odion stepped closer, because he wasn’t going to let Lani say anything. “Why? Because I managed to remember you despite trying to erase you, I know I did everything I could to make this an impossibility and it’s still happening.” He grabbed Lani’s shoulders – there wasn’t anything left to lose anymore. “So either you help me get through this, or I go back to whatever I was back in Europe, because I still don’t know who that is.”

[Lani Hunter]

Lani wished he could believe in the familiar claim that love could conquer all, he wasn’t sure what future there was in front of them, all he had was the past and now. So much uncertainty floated and Lani was never one to jump without looking. If Odion had been out of his mind in Europe then Lani knew he needed to help him through it. Not because of what they were, but because of what they had been. Lani wished this had never happened. He wished he had never been so foolish as to think Odion wouldn’t hate him for what he’d done. If he could wish for anything it would be to have never gone at all. Europe had served to bring them closer than they had even been before, which in contrast made losing each other all the more painful.

Lani raised a brow in interest but didn’t press the redhead for more information though he wanted to know. If this was why Odion had called him it was to tell him something about it. Odion would tell him when he was ready and Lani was dying to know but he had a feeling that from the way Odion was shifting and fumbling that there was something more important, more pressing. He crossed his arms and chewed on his tongue his mind running in a million directions. Nodding slowly at the look he was given, he would wait. They would talk about it. But something else was here. There was a monster looming on either side, it was like Odion and Lani stood facing each other and Lani’s telekinesis rose like a dragon spitting fire and daring a move from Odion, and Odion’s time control rose like an old and deceptively calm being waiting to see what the dragon would do before making his move.

Stalemate. This was a chess game that wouldn’t be won or lost, it would be determined by whoever yielded and in what context it was yielded. Lani was fighting against the knowledge that Odion was trying to make amends. It was easy to allow himself to think that Odion was someone who had never loved him, it explained everything. The problem was that deep down Lani knew that wasn’t true, he had to fight for a better explanation and that was what Odion was trying to give him. But Lani was not prepared for the wave that crashed upon him. Neither was his power, the beast took it as an attack and as it lashed out Lani avoided Odion. In anger and sadness, so long as Lani had his sense of who Odion was his power wouldn’t hurt him. It had gotten dangerous before, but Lani was more or less certain of his control. It wasn’t perfect, as the chaotic explosion showed very well, but it was better. It no longer consumed him unless he let it, and oh was he tempted to let it.

Odion really had woven himself the perfect puzzle. Lani would overreact and he would be lashing out because he was hurt and he would push Odion away with all of his power. Maybe seven months had been something of a key that could break it. Lani had done his best to shut out Odion and he’d returned and it was so hard to keep the doubts and the fears from rising, but one thing he could understand was not knowing what was happening. The problem, when they’d broken up Odion had been coherent enough to fight and to end it. Granted Lani had been pushing him and prodding him during the whole fight. The blame had to be shared, if not the initial mistake. Lani held up a hand in attempt to stop Odion from speaking, but the redhead continued. Lani shook his head and his power spun up and something else nearby broke and Lani wasn’t even sure what it was. “Stop!” He demanded and wasn’t sure if he was talking to his power or Odion.

“Of course I care! I’ve always cared.” Lani launched back and pressed his fingers into his eyes and cursed Odion mentally. Odion was only doing what Lani had asked of him and it was something Lani had wanted to know, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t expected this. Without knowing what Odion was actually doing, his mind had made up happy endings for Odion anyways, despite how much it pained the telekinetic, he had to image that Odion was alright in order to move on. When Lani looked at Odion again his eyes were dangerous and it was taking all of his energy to redirect his power. Control, he needed control. He couldn’t control his power when his emotions were as strong as they were now, the only thing he could do was block it out and shut down his power. That would mean taking attention off of Odion, which he didn’t want to do either.

He shook his head and he took a step back when Odion rose. His heart broke when he saw Odion’s tears and it became harder to keep his own from falling. “You ended it, not me!” Lani blurted before he remembered that Odion probably didn’t remember that. His heart hammered and he clenched his jaw shut and shook his head. He didn’t want Odion to leave, not permanently, not again. Lani’s eyes flashed and he opened his mouth to scream back. How could he be happy without him? Lani’s words died in his throat as Odion continued. It almost felt normal to be fighting, it at least meant they’d broken the stalled barrier. Odion’s hands fell on his shoulders like hot iron and Lani’s hands reached up and clasped Odion’s wrists intent on tearing the hands away and pushing Odion away. Odion’s plea for help stopped him cold and Lani looked into those desperate and fearful blue eyes. Lani couldn’t think and he couldn’t run.

Clenching his jaw Lani closed his eyes and the strain appeared on his face. He shook his head and his power finally ebbed back into his mind and the reluctant fingers of his power released the earth from its grasp. Perhaps this was destined to go wrong, from the get go. But Odion had been there when Lani’d hit rock bottom with his boss, he was there and he had been angry, but he’d helped Lani regardless. Lani opened his eyes again and gave Odion a cold stare. Damn. “You did everything you could be get rid of me.” Now he gently removed Odion’s hands from his shoulders, but he didn’t shove him away. “Seven months Odion, and not a day passed when I didn’t think of you. And you did everything you could to forget me, like I never existed.” He hissed in a low voice, he’d breached anger and slipped into numbness. “I’ll help you. But,” Lani bit his lip and tried to hold back the tears as he locked is eyes with Odion, “I won't make any promises for after." His heart thumped as the words left his tongue. He swallowed, they were being honest right? Well, Lani didn't honestly know if he could move past this, being tossed in the trash, erased so he never existed. If Odion had ever loved Lani at all, he'd at the very least allow Lani that choice in the end.

[Odion Martins]

Odion was back here because he wanted to give them another chance. All of this pain and all of this fighting and even after everything he had done to himself and to those around him, he still hoped in Lani. Lani wasn’t perfect, and their relationship had been far from that, but he was Odion’s sunshine. Odion didn’t really care if he was corny on the inside or completely desperate, but he couldn’t be who he wanted to be without Lani. He could exist without Lani, but he couldn’t live. After he had spoken to Jared, Odion had revisited the memories he had long suppressed. It was difficult to remember what he was trying to forget. It was painful to watch himself shut down in order to protect himself and what he thought had been a sham. Remembering that he had forgotten, only to also remember those forgotten things had finally given Odion the whole picture of the last few months, but that had come with a price. He had sobbed over what he had lost for days, but he wasn’t trying to erase those things anymore. He was glad Jared was here with him now, or he may be tempted to once more reverse what had happened in his own mind.

Odion pursed his lips when Lani demanded he stop. The shelter at the bus stop, made of glass, cracked down the middle. Odion had realized how heavy his breathing had gotten. Evidently he wasn’t used to talking this much and thinking so hard at the same time. This was a hard reality compared to the autopilot life he had been living. Odion assumed that trying to erase Lani hadn’t been something he had immediately tried to do. It would have taken weeks to flesh out a plan, and make back up plans for when the initial plan didn’t work. But Odion wasn’t a planner, Lani was. So the plan couldn’t be foolproof. And if Odion was a praying man, he would pray and hope that his insane plan wasn’t foolproof. Like the box he had made for Lani, there had to be another way through this.

Odion wasn’t alright without Lani, so if Lani wanted to move on, that would be impossible. It wasn’t that Odion was trying to force anything, it was simply how he knew things were. If Lani wanted or needed to move on, then he would have to make peace with the fact that wherever Odion was, it wasn’t a happy place. It hadn’t been happy before, why would it be after he lost the love of his life? At the moment, Odion didn’t really give a shit if Lani decided to use his powers on him or not. In fact, he probably deserved it. He still had nothing to lose, but he had some hope left in him. He had seen the worry on Lani’s face, and Odion knew it was real. There was a point where Odion knew he could cradle Lani’s power if the telekinetic would let him, but that wasn’t an option right now for two reasons: one, Odion’s power was out of commission, and two, Lani had been hesitant to work with their two powers before, he sure as hell wouldn’t let Odion anywhere near it now.

Odion swallowed hard at the new piece of information. Lani was being truthful, and the memory swam into Odion’s field of vision. In that moment, he was done and through with his Lani had never really trusted him enough to let him in on what he was thinking. He wanted to believe that Lani would never hurt him, but he had, and Odion thought he would be better off without each other. There seemed to be no changing Lani, even though the telekinetic had helped the time turner change for the better. Odion rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. “And I’m sorry I ever did, I wasn’t myself...” He wondered what point there was in talking if Lani didn’t trust him with an inch. Odion was so sorry, there just wasn’t anything he could do to convince Lani of just how sorry he was and continued to be.

This was what they both knew how to do best – fight. And at one point, they learned that they loved as fiercely as they fought. Odion wasn’t been impressed with Lani when the telekinetic had kept his life of crime hidden in the dark when Odion could have easily helped him. In the end, it all came down to trust. Odion needed to know before he slipped back into the abyss of his mind if there was something to keep him out. He regretted erasing Lani, he regretted figuring out that that was what he had done, but he did not regret sharing the truth with Lani. If he couldn’t handle it, they were done for. Odion nodded, acknowledging that what he said was harsh. “And I was trying to think of you, ask Jared,” he said, “every time I did I would stop functioning, stop eating, just, stopped...” It was hard to explain but at least he was trying. “I didn’t have anyone to talk me out of doing what I did Lani,” Odion said, “I only had myself in my weakest moment.” And he was someone who could erase things, and without anyone to help him with the pain of losing Lani, why wouldn’t he try to erase him completely? But Odion wasn’t a brain surgeon and it had been the wrong thing to do. He was a time manipulator, not a time god – he had tried to sever things that were meant to be whole.

Lani gave his ultimatum, and Odion nodded. He wondered through the new information he had figured out, if Lani could really forgive him. And it seemed that his being back now didn’t count for much when Lani had found out that Odion had purposefully tried to erase him from his mind. Out of all the people Odion knew, he thought Lani would understand best of all. “I can’t make you do anything,” Odion said, taking a step back from Lani. He wasn’t sure when Lani would be ready to help him, but he didn’t want the telekinetic to inevitable change his mind. Odion couldn’t help but feel hurt, and he knew this was selfish. But he had trusted Lani while being drunk, had let the blond drag him through back alleys and into strange buildings. All Odion wanted to do was make things right, and things were getting far worse than they imagined they could get.

Odion sighed, and it only occurred to him just then that he hadn’t felt this grounded in the present than he had in a while. He smiled to himself. This meant he was doing something his past self hadn’t been able to see or predict. This thought gave him hope. Maybe he could deviate far enough from the original plan that a new life could be made. A life where Lani could exist at the very list, be in if Odion was lucky. His dark blue eyes raked over Lani – yes, he was definitely here. “Do you want me to show you, or tell you about the last months in Europe?” He asked, because he could do that much at least and he didn’t want to fuck things up any more than he already had in terms of his and Lani’s relationship, or what was left of one. Odion had felt Lani’s power loosen its grip on the things around them, but he was definitely still upset. “Or do you want to punch me in the face first and get that over with?” It was sort of a joke, but also serious. Lani looked like he needed to blow off steam. Odion didn’t know how long his sanity would last. It felt strong now, but he didn’t know how easily that could break.

[Lani Hunter]

It was so hard learning to love and learning to hurt and learning to forgive. Life had made Lani a cold person and yet somehow Odion had dug in and found the warmer loving core Lani desperately tried to hide. Somehow, Lani had done the same with Odion. Lani wasn’t so unobservant that he hadn’t known what most people thought about Odion. It hadn’t stopped him back then and he knew very well that Odion wasn’t the unapproachable person he made himself out to be. Lani was starting to wonder if he wasn’t fooling himself for thinking he could move on but he held desperately to that thought because he wasn’t sure Odion was going to stay and if the redhead did end up leaving him Lani wanted a cushion. It seemed that their friends had really helped in the long run, Lani had just found his sooner than Odion. It was hard for Lani to put up a cold front when he wanted to show that he cared.

Thankfully for a brief moment both Odion and his power listen to him at the same time. He was going to take note of this for the record, if only to prove that it had actually happened. It gave the telekinetic some much needed mental silence and it helped his mind get a hold on his power and his emotions. It hurt Lani more than he liked to admit to know that Odion tried to wipe him out completely. He was glad thinking back that he hadn’t actually acted on his wishes, it had helped him hold onto a shred of his sanity. Perhaps the fates did know a few things. After all they couldn’t both be insane at the same time or things would never work out. Even as he tried to hold it together he felt everything he worked at unraveling. All of the shields simply melted away at Odion’s touch and all of the masks peeled back leaving him very exposed.

Lani hadn’t stopped lying when he’d hurt Odion. In fact he’d read the fight the opposite of what he probably should have. He declared honesty dangerous and painful, but he was damn tired of pretending like everything was alright. He loved Odion, he didn’t want to keep lying. Lying was getting harder rather than easier. A few years ago and Lani’d never think twice of lying to someone like Odion, in fact just a year ago he had been lying to Odion. Now he was at a fork, on the one side he could keep lying and keep hurting and causing himself and Odion more pain. Or he could try to be honest and expose his heart to the one he wanted to share it with most. But he’d shared his heart with Odion and it had been shattered. So he stood at the crossroads his heart cradled close to him and protected. Lani looked up at Odion and his lip trembled until he bit at it to keep it still. He closed his eyes to keep the tears from falling. “I’m sorry I lied to you.” Lani said softly in return. Something he’d said back when Odion wasn’t listening, but nevertheless if felt seven months too late.

Lani’s crossed arms tightened their hold as if keeping his heart from falling out. Lani didn’t say anything he just listened his brow creasing as he learned about Odion’s stupor. His eyes dropped and he bit his tongue. He’d had Adrianna and he’d had Avi, and he’d had Shapiro and Caroline. His best friends to help him cushion the fall. Lani sighed and shook his head. He owed Adrianna more than he had known, he realized. She’d talked him out of a lot of pain driven action. Lani wanted to apologize for not being there when Odion needed him, he wanted to apologize for things that were out of his control. He wasn’t in his right mind after they’d broken up for well over a month, by then Lani was still in too much pain to do anything but go through the motions of life, the road to recovery hadn’t been an easy one. One day Lani’d tell Odion how Adrianna talked him down from mental ledge, but today was not that day. Today Odion needed him and he needed help. Once Odion remembered his life they could trade stories.

“Remind me to thank Jared,” Lani said offhandedly for lack of anything else to say. The desire to take Odion in his arms and tell him everything was alright was stronger than ever. But everything wasn’t alright. Lani was so angry and it was all he could do to keep from blasting Odion through the bus stop shelter. Maybe once he stopped being angry he could think of forgiveness, but for now angry was what he had to be. Lani had to work it out of his system and think things through. In his heart he’d already made up his mind, but the heart was a very strongly biased organ and it wasn’t nearly as logical as the head, which was why the head had to protect the heart. If that meant locking it forever, so be it, he was angry enough for that to be just so. Moving on wasn’t an option for Lani. He could fake it as best he could but if Odion’s return had told him anything it was that he was still deeply connected to Odion.

Lani nodded in thanks for the time Odion was giving him. It was Lani buying himself time again, and yet again Odion would have to wait on Lani. But in a sense Lani’d given himself a deadline and he only hoped that he’d be able to make the right decision when the time came. Angry, yes, but he wasn’t ready to let the redhead go for good. Considering it for a moment Lani looked at his feet and then Odion’s and finally brought his eyes up to see the redhead. He opened his mouth to answer when Odion surprised him. The statement was so unexpected that it got a startled laugh out of Lani. It lasted mere seconds and was thick with sorrow. He looked at Odion and cocked his head at the redhead as though actually considering it. Then the appearance of considering it turned to actually considering it and he finally shook his head. “Don’t tempt me,” he said.

“Show me,” Lani said finally, he’d intended to leave it up to Odion, but he knew that if Odion told him he might leave out details, he might try to cushion the blow. Lani didn’t want to see Odion the way he’d been when he was broken but something told him that he had to. “But, uh…” He glanced around noticing for the first time the startled faces and the fear mixed in on the innocent bystanders. “Do you wanna come inside?” He asked, Adam wasn’t home and Lani didn’t expect him to come back anytime soon. Lani gave a little smile. “You could say ‘hi’ to the cats.” And Lani could get himself a pain reliever and maybe he would make it through the day. Just from the act of power the pressure increased in his skull and he was starting to wonder if he didn’t have enough pills in his pocket, nor the strongest ones he had. Odion was right, it was time to be serious, but Lani didn’t want to be exposed to everyone on the streets. He wanted to be in a safe place, and he wanted Odion in that same safe place.

[Odion Martins]

Odion had never cared about what anyone thought of him until he met Lani. He really wanted Lani to believe in him, in the man he already was, so that he could become the better man he could be. Lately Odion didn’t leave such a bitter taste in the mouths of those he met, so that just went to show that he had changed somewhat. He was still his snarky self, but he wasn’t as prickly around the edges – just a little rough. He had learned what it meant to care about people, some more than others, but he was still learning to have sympathy for more people than simply those he cared most about in this world. He was and always would be a work in progress when it came to interactions with human beings.

So Lani was listening. Seeing Lani so broken wasn’t helping Odion keep his distance. He sniffed hard and wished that he could just reach across the gap and reassure Lani somehow. Odion was seeing now that Lani was just as human and every bit as vulnerable as he was. Lani just took a little longer at letting his shields down, but Odion could understand now why Lani did that in the first place. And Lani would also know now why Odion had done that too. Saying sorry wasn’t easy for either for them, but Odion didn’t feel like it was too late. It felt genuine, and Odion even felt a little better. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. Odion let out a long breath, not realizing that he had been holding it. His heart was racing and he didn’t know how to react. He could only give Lani a sad and hard concentrated look, as he was unsure which thought to convey. Odion felt his heart break as Lani’s did and he knew the only thing he could do now was speak, but he would give anything just to hold Lani and make sure he was alright. “I forgive you,” Odion said in relief, as though it were the most obvious decision he had ever made, his tone of voice higher than usual. He wasn’t pretending like this was easy, he was only being genuine.

Lani would see soon enough exactly what Odion was trying to explain. The redhead was not a pretty site without those he cared about. His worst fear in the whole world was ending up alone, and his worst fear had come true. This was the moment of weakness he was talking about. What was one to do when they had driven their love away and had nobody to cling to? He had seen his power as gift to be used to his advantage, and he had taken that choice and driven it into the ground with nobody telling him to slow down. Odion didn’t blame anyone but himself for this, as it had been his choice. He could have reached out to someone he knew and they would’ve been there. It had been his choice to seclude him, and part of him believed he deserved it. He didn’t deserve all the good he had had in his life.

Odion couldn’t help but smile, and then laugh at the comment. “You probably don’t want to speak to Jared at the moment.” It was for the best in the end, after all, Odi’s best mate was right pissed at Lani. Jared was a fierce protector, and Odion wasn’t going to stop him from doing what he needed to do while he was here in America. The phaser had tagged along simply to watch over Odion, end of story. Like the good friend he was, Jared perceived Odion’s pain as being Lani’s fault, totally and completely. It was hard to watch someone go through so much hurt and really believe that they had played any part in it. And Jared was biased and completely loyal to the redhead. Jared had been a better friend than Odion had given him credit for, and he was thankful that he had just recently told Jared just that. He wasn’t good for much, but he was good where it counted.

“Don’t tempt me.” Odion managed a smirk and let a few moments pass. “You don’t get another free shot,” he said, turning to glance at the shattered street light and then the cracked bus stop waiting area. Lani could’ve reacted a lot worse, and Odion knew the telekinetic was capable of doing much more damage. A few people were staring at them, and Odion could only imagine what was going through their minds – it was amusing to him to think about. But Odion still thought he could handle Lani’s fits of rage, so what was a punch to the face between friends? If they were still even that these days.

It figured that Lani would choose the viewing option – Odion couldn’t fabricate memories. He couldn’t make them look better than they actually were. It would be like watching a movie in some respects, and Odion was going to have to live through it once more. But maybe if Odion could continue telling the truth, or in this case showing what had really happened, then maybe Lani could trust him. Not just who he was before all this mess, but who he was trying to be now. Odion glanced between Lani and his apartment, feeling nervous for some reason. “Yeah, alright,” he said, waiting for Lani to lead the way. Odion wasn’t going to step over any boundary lines, and if inside was where Lani wanted to go, Odion would oblige. Odion gave a crooked smile. “I’d like that very much.”

[Lani Hunter]

Nothing in the world was more painful that losing Odion, not even when his boss threatened him, not even now with Odion back. Because in those cases he had been able to see hope and he was able to work and try to make things right. But when Odion left it left Lani without hope of his return, nor anything he could do to make it up to the redhead. Lani’d watched Odion grow into the person he’d always known Odion was deep down. Everything else was a hard shell. Once Lani had seen past it, he couldn’t see it again, he knew Odion was a better man than the redhead thought. Perhaps the hope that had remained was that Odion would be happier without him, it was hard to know that that wasn’t the case. Lani was afraid of what he might see, he was afraid of the life that Odion had lived because Lani wasn't there to keep him from slipping. Lani felt guilty from the beginning, but feeling sorry for himself was never something Lani did vocally or easily. He needed to do something, he couldn't keep himself from living as much as he wanted to. When the pain became too much to bear he did what he always did with pain. He swallowed pills and waited for it to go away. But the pills didn't help much with the emotional pain.

Lani watched Odion as they spoke and the silence that stretched through them and Lani held his breath. The sound of the forgiveness was like music and Lani was surprised not only by it but by the raw emotion that underlay it. Lani bit his lip, if Odion didn’t remember that far back, he could forgive Lani now, but Lani worried. When Odion remembered their fight, when he remembered all of the harsh and hurtful things said, would he still forgive him? A ghostly smile appeared on Lani’s face and his heart lightened a tad. He wanted to cry but for some reason he couldn’t tell why, whether it was relief or happiness or bitter sadness he wasn’t sure. Lani swallowed and nodded his head. He didn’t have words to forgive Odion for the break up, because he didn’t think he deserved one. Also, he wasn’t delusional enough about his own grandeur that he thought that Odion needed to apologize for breaking up with him. That was Odion's right and no matter how much Lani hated it, that was that. Instead he finally added, “I never blamed you.” Lani shrugged dismissively.

He knew what happened was his fault, he knew Odion had every right to break up with him. It didn’t make it easier, but Lani’d never blamed Odion for leaving. Which got him actually into arguments with Adrianna and Avinea. Lani’d let their conversations slide because by the time he started combating with them he was already war torn and weary and it was easier to let them believe he'd been conquered. If he'd just let them believe he agreed, they would leave him alone and let him mourn in his own way. As unhealthy as it was. He'd told himself that Odion was never coming back and he'd forced himself to face that fact and he'd forced himself keep repeating it until it no longer became strange that Odion wasn't there. It didn’t help him not be angry, but it made his anger hard to direct, and in the end because he wasn’t there to defend himself Lani had made Odion the villain because he couldn’t be the antagonist in his own mind, even if he was the one getting in his own way throughout this whole hell. And here in Pilot Ridge it felt like he couldn't go anywhere without remembered Odion in some way.

They were thieves, made so by situations outside their control. They both knew that they could only blame the fates for so much before the blame had to fall on their own shoulders. In many senses they were more destructive on themselves and the other cushioned the blows they directed onto themselves and without that buffer it was easy to spiral down. In Odion’s case he’d shut down, in Lani’s he’d shut everyone out. It was hard for them to ask for help, but Odion had showed Lani how important it was to stop and ask. Nothing Lani had done in attempts to protect Odion and Adrianna had worked, he’d only succeeded when he’d finally buckled and asked for help. Maybe that had stuck with Lani more than he expected and helped him reach out when he needed someone.

Lani nodded. Fair enough, he and Jared had never been close enough to be anything more than people who acquaintances. Jared had helped a lot, and Lani was grateful, but he didn’t know if he’d call Jared a friend. Probably closer to an ally. And now that their common cause was resolved the partnership had dissolved with neither party much interested in keeping it going. Not to mention there was still the issue about Jared phasing out of a car that Odion had been in, but that was a matter for another day. Right now all that mattered was in front of him now. All that mattered was whether or not Odion was alright.

Lani snorted and shrugged dismissively. He liked to think he didn’t need a free shot but as much as he really wanted to hit Odion right now, it would do no one good and Lani didn’t want to be that kind of person. Now if Odion had offered that when he’d first cornered Lani here, Lani would have happily obliged and then some. Fury was Lani’s go to defense mechanism. It didn’t matter if he was upset or scared he covered it with anger. He clenched his fists, if Odion really wanted a nice shiner, he was headed in the right direction. With control of his power had also come self control and Lani knew he could have done much worse, but he was glad he didn’t. He scared himself when he was in a state like that because it didn’t matter if it was Odion or Caroline or Rhett, someone in his way was going down. He hadn't gotten that bad in a long time and he was working hard to keep it from happening now. It would be so easy to let go and just let the monster rise. He swallowed, he bet even Odion would run from that, he'd be stupid not to.

When Odion agreed Lani backed away and started walking not checking to see if Odion followed. He didn’t need to his power was telling him that well enough. He hid a smile with his back turned. He knew what the kittens had meant to Odion. It had been part of the reason he’d kept them. It had taken him a long time to get them from Avi because he knew they’d constantly be a reminder of Odion, and he hadn’t been fit to care for himself, much less something else. Lani was hating the fact that now he was pondering if he should have cleaned more. Oh well, Odion would have to deal. He knew his room was a wreck but he wasn’t planning on going in, the living room was cluttered but it shouldn’t be too bad. He shrugged it off as he started up the steps. It wasn't that bad, a few papers and books laying about, but the kitchen was clean at least, since neither he nor Adam had any skill at cooking. Their trash was full of takeout containers and pizza boxes. But the apartment was more or less what could be expected from Lani's unorganized mind.

“Sorry for the mess,” he muttered as he opened the door and bid Odion to enter quickly lest one of the furry creatures tried to make a break for it. Adam’s door was closed and Paco, the little dog was locked away in the room, from what Lani could tell. He paced over to his door and put it ajar a few inches. It was a little agreement they had, when they weren’t in the apartment it was probably best to keep their respective animals locked up and Lani just walked back to where he’d left Odion in the living room. “Uh…” He looked at his couch and waved a hand dismissively, “None of that is important, just clear yourself a spot. You…” He stopped midway through asking Odion if he wanted something to drink as the curiosity of ‘who was the new person in the apartment took over’ for the felines and the cats went to inspect Odion.

[Odion Martins]

Odion had seen who Lani could be without the false pretenses, lies, and masks. Those weren’t the things that had made him lovable. When they worked together to discover the range of their powers, Odion had sensed and touched Lani’s power in a way that showed him just how entirely human Lani was. Like had discovered, Lani was mostly rage and deceit, but he wasn’t comprised just of those things. He could be controlled, he could be happy and funny, and he could be brave. He had had to learn who he was then, just as he had to discover himself again now, and Odion wanted to help, just like he always had. Lani just needed to trust that he could be himself around Odion, and they had gotten to that point. Odion wanted that back with every fiber of his being but if Lani needed to move on, there was nothing Odion could do about it. He wasn’t here to guilt Lani into something more, he was here to lay things bare.

Why had it been so hard to listen before? Why couldn’t it have mattered back then? Odion supposed that when the both of them got hurt, nothing else mattered but what they were feeling inside, and they weren’t experts at sharing those feelings in non-destructive ways. It was better late than never, and Odion hoped that what he said had given Lani at least an ounce of peace. Odion knew that if he could still remember Lani and love him after everything he had put himself through, it didn’t really matter what had caused the fight or how, Lani would still be forgiven. It didn’t make whatever happened okay, but they were bound to make mistakes, gifts perceived as poison. It didn’t matter how good the other’s intentions were, without communication things would go awry. But Odion still needed to know what happened, so they could both have peace of mind and heart, giving validity to what was happening now. “I know. You always blame yourself for the bad things,” Odion took a breath, “but I hope that you also blame yourself for the good.”

Lani had profoundly affected Odion’s life, and it was more good than bad. For every step back there were two steps forward. For every time Odion thought Lani had stabbed him in the back, it had only happened to help him grow. Odion didn’t believe in paths, and he believed that all of this was happening for a reason. What, he didn’t know, but something good would come out of it. Their breakup had not been pretty, but it wasn’t entirely Lani’s fault. Lani had gotten that ball rolling and Odion had stopped it. It wasn’t about who was more at fault, they still had a destroyed relationship, and it was too heavy for any one man to carry. They would both have to work on it to repair it, or they would have to walk away. Odion wasn’t ready to do the latter.

The time turner knew there was a lesson to be learned through all this – how to ask for help when it was needed. Stubbornness could go a long way, and was kin to perseverance, but it was stupid to think one’s problems could be solved on their own. Odion had people he could have turned to to ask for help, but he didn’t. He refused to believe anything was salvageable, and his hope had all but disappeared after he had pulled the trigger to end their relationship. He knew it wasn’t all his fault, but he couldn’t kept trying rather than giving up. Part of him thought maybe Lani would fight harder to keep him, but there was no use to answering what if questions – he wasn’t here to do that or lay blame. He was here to apologize and try to make things right, for everyone. Lani wasn’t the only person Odion had left behind, and he had a lot of mending ahead of him.

Odion followed Lani’s at an arm’s length, warding off thoughts of the last time he had actually been inside this building. He hadn’t expected to see the inside of Lani’s place, but now he would be. He couldn’t for the life of him remember if he had told Lani where he had been staying lately. Jared knew, and they were in the process of getting an apartment together. Odion was glad for that thought. Odion surveyed the apartment with curious eyes, noting that Lani clearly had a roommate. There were articles of clothing strewn about the Odion knew Lani wouldn’t be caught dead in. Odion paused, gazing at one of the said articles of clothing. Odd, it looked familiar for some reason.

When Lani spoke, Odion turned to glance at him, pushing all other thoughts away. “It’s alright,” he said as an afterthought. Odion like organization, and hated mess. But something about it felt like home, and Odion wasn’t here to criticize or joke around. Besides, living with Jared hadn’t been any cleaner, and instead of takeout boxes in the garbage, they would be lying over the floor, along with empty brew bottles. Odion’s eyes trailed over the clean kitchen and put two and two together. When Lani told him to make himself comfortable, Odion just leaned against the armrest of the couch, unsure what to move or if anything was breakable, or how dirty the couch was.

Hearing the click of a door, Odion’s sharp eyes peered to where Lani was down the hall, and he smiled broadly. Three cats trotted nearer to the living room, and they all seemed apprehensive at first, staring at him from the edge of the hall. “Well hello,” Odion said, and he wasn’t sure if it was his voice or his scent, but all three of them made their way towards him as fast as they could. Odion had crouched down so he could reach them as they neared. LJ had beat his siblings and was first to get within arm’s reach of Odion. The redhead laughed softly as the trio rubbed up against him and meowed, complaining that he had been gone for too long. LJ was physically trying to put his head into Odion’s palm, and Darshay was swatting at Odion’s necklace, thinking it was a new toy just for her. Odion finally just sat to the ground with the couch behind him and stretched his legs out in front of him, scratching LJ behind the ear as Darshay sat contentedly in his lap. It was a warm greeting to receive and Odion felt happy. Shadow was simply sitting next to Odion, trying to be an inconspicuous as possible.

Odion swallowed hard and looked to Lani. “After all this time?” He was floored, and now that they were safely tucked away from the outside world, Odion knew it was time to talk. A little catch up time was in order, and he really didn’t want to hear LJ stop purring.

[Lani Hunter]

At one point letting down his shields would feel like jumping into water. Something he would not do for any reason at any time. Now Lani almost felt too shattered too care, if he was to let his guard down, how much more damage could be done? His heart was an icicle and every fiber of his being begged to keep it that way. It was strange though, that the most damaged part of him would be the one begging for exposure. He didn’t want to be cold, he didn’t want to shut people out. He was certain Odion was wrong about something, Lani was a coward, he was selfish and he wanted to not be hurt again. He chewed his lip, but he didn’t want Odion to be hurt. His planning mind was already formulating what would happen. A million different scenarios bloomed in his mind. He could be real and he could let Odion in, help him and in the end maybe they could be happy together again. Those were the brightest if not the hardest endings. Others were more horrible and painful to even imagine.

Lani ducked his head and didn’t answer. At the moment it was too easy to see the bad, and it outshined all the good. Especially now. Strange how something that had wrecked such havoc didn’t seem quite so important anymore. Lani was just having a hard time remembering a time when he was happy and didn’t do something stupid to ruin it. It was like he was bound and determined to destroy things before they got too good. Lani swallowed and closed his eyes as his power pummeled his shields in attempt to break out. With a deep breath Lani had decided. Honesty was hard, but it was what Odion deserved. He longed to close in on himself and to keep the lies flowing past his lips. All of the doubts and all of the pain was enough to keep Lani from letting them. Honesty was terrifying but Lani knew that meeting Odion halfway started with honesty. Every fiber of his being was telling him to shut Odion out, to close himself off. It was like so many times before when Lani realized how much stronger Odion was. He wanted to be strong for and with Odion.

Looking at the mess before them, though, he really wasn’t sure where to start. There was no quick fix, this would have to be a slow process. One step at a time. In a sense half the battle had been done, they’d agreed to try. But what was left was a far more daunting task. Glancing toward Odion, Lani wondered if they could even manage it, or if what they had was truly gone. Somehow he knew the pain he felt now and the fear meant that whatever there wasn’t gone. Somewhere in the rubble and the shambles of their hearts something still beat for each other. Perhaps it was the little bits of each other that they’d kept when things went south. Heart reaches to heart when the world is the darkest and their hearts had been somehow linked and the world that they shared was very dark. Lani’s yearned to be with Odion even if his head told him that idea was folly. He had to hope that there was something there for them or all was lost.

Entering, Lani suppressed a sigh, he thought Adam had picked up his laundry but that appeared to not be the case. Lani supposed he couldn’t blame him, it wasn’t like Lani’s clothes had never migrated into the living room. Lani smirked slightly. He knew Odion well enough to know that mess bothered him, this was what Lani liked to call controlled chaos, Odion would probably call it ground zero. He wasn’t paying much attention once the cats came out. He took a moment to escape into the bathroom and feed himself a pill. He propped himself up on the wall at the entrance to the small hallways that led to the bedrooms. He couldn’t keep a smile from stretching over his face as he watched the cats and Odion. They’d missed him and for the time being their Papa Odion was home and Lani might as well have just been an extended caretaker. Lani dropped his eyes and felt a stab of pain, it was another reminder of how things should have been. How things were supposed to be. It was the most vocal he’d heard most of the cats being in a long time. It was nice to hear the chorus of meows and he smiled back at the redhead watching him for a few moments while he was occupied by the cats.

The sound of his laughter and the joy on his face was enough to make Lani’s heart sore and it felt so wrong that he couldn’t go and sit with him and just be happy again. Yet, even behind the joy there was a sign of strain, a sign of the wear of the past on Odion’s features. As Lani considered these things his gaze wandered and the smile lingered for a moment longer and he looked back at Odion and his heart warmed. He nodded. “You should’ve seen them when I went to get them.” They’d been so upset when there was no Odion to go along with Lani. LJ hadn’t ‘spoken’ to him for a few weeks and when the cat finally decided to approach Lani’d been careful as he’d been caught on the wrong end of the cat’s claws before. Eventually they’d warmed up to each other, in a sense of mutual missing of Odion, Lani thought. “They’ve missed you.” He said and pushed himself off of the wall and approached cautiously.

Unlike Odion, the blond didn’t care if something was breakable or in the way, with one swoop of his power he balled it all up and dumped it onto the floor on the opposite side where Odion was sitting. With another thought the clutter on the armchair also jumped off and went to join the pile. With that Lani simply kicked off his shoes and tucked himself into the chair and tucked his legs under him and putting his hands into the front pocket of the hoodie. He was fine with letting Odion be where he would, they were both be here a while, he assumed and so he settled himself into the chair so he could both see Odion, and not if he willed. For now he just watched him with the cats. Honesty, he had to give honesty. Lani swallowed nervously. “I’ve missed you too,” Lani finally broke the silence. He had had so many dreams in which Odion returned and none of them had been nearly this painful, at least not until he awoke and found Odion nowhere. In many ways this was like his dream come true, twisted with his worst nightmare.

This was indeed the perfect mess, but at least they weren’t alone in fixing it now. “Where do we even start?” He asked, his eyes wandering and looking at it seemed everything but Odion until he finally had nothing else to distract him and he looked at Odion and slowly let out the breath he was holding. There was the monster made of their rubble. It was too big, too scary. He leveled his stare at Odion, but he’d thought the same thing about his boss and he’d somehow came out of that in more or less one piece. Maybe again with Odion here they could do it.

[Odion Martins]

Odion shook his head, "Stubborn," he said under his breath. Lani was so quick to place blame on himself when people got hurt, but never when they were happy. But Odion couldn't make Lani believe it anymore than he could will his memories back to him. If either of them were going to see the light, they were going to have to do it together. The truth was, neither of them knew how to make a good thing last, and they were selfish. Instead of sharing, they tried to make their happiness last by relying on the means that had always worked for them before - being sneaky and secretive. But that wasn't going to work and it was high time they changed their tune. Odion could feel Lani's power fighting against him, and Odion was reminded of just how strong Lani could be. It took a great person to be able to handle a potentially unruly power. And Odion really did feel horrible for causing Lani such a reaction. He looked away and willed the pain aside for now. He couldn't make it go away, if he tried he would probably forget where he was.

Odion heard the familiar tinkling sound of pills rushing down the neck of the bottle. He sighed, petting the cats as they maneuvered into his hands - old habits die hard, or not at all it would seem. "Would you mind if I had a couple of those?" He asked as soon as Lani was visible in the hall again. Odion's eyes didn't linger on the blond for too long, because he didn't want what he couldn't have. But he wanted it anyways. Odion focused on the cats, watching their sleek movements, watching how happy they were... It reminded him of something sweet in the past, but it also reminded him of how he had abandoned everyone and everything. Odion wiped at his eyes, glad Lani wasn't quite back in the room yet.

Odion glanced up. What did Lani mean by that? A hint of joy was inflected on Lani's emotions, but Odion wanted to know anyways. "Were they okay?" He asked, because it was evident he still cared. He didn't think they would've been mistreated if left with someone they trusted, but Odion couldn't help but wonder what kind of condition he had left anyone in. Did that mean he had been a person who could be missed in the lives of others? He never thought he could leave such a hole. Aware of the distance between them, Odion felt safe to say, "I missed them too." Because in all honesty, just like Jared, he thought they were dead too. The mind was a powerful device, and Odion wasn't beyond getting tricked by his own. His dark eyes looked up as Lani moved closer, and he knew they were running out of time for pleasantries. But, Odion thought bitterly, these were the kinds of pleasantries he enjoyed with Lani. It was a mutual sharing that went beyond the surface.

Odion moved up onto the couch and looked over at Lani on the recliner, about to say something, but the cats followed him up and Odion could only chuckle. He didn't think animals would miss him so much, but he had always been a cat person, literally. Animals were much easier to get along with than humans. Odion scooped up a willing LJ in his arms, the cat purring onto his chest, and then climbing onto his shoulders for a better vantage point. Odion smirked, looking LJ square in the face. "They're a lot bigger now," he commented as LJ settled onto the back of the couch, still purring in Odi's ear. Odion glanced at the pile of mess in amusement - he would kill for Lani's power, it would make cleaning so much easier. "I've missed you too." Odion smiled in Lani's direction, but there was pain in his eyes. "You weren't ever supposed to," he said, feeling terrible. He had wanted to be with Lani whenever he could. Odion swallowed hard - there was nothing he could do about that now. All he had was this moment. "But," Odion started, wondering if Lani would take the off, "you won't have to again, if, you don't want to."

Shaking his head, Odion let out a deep sigh that said he didn't know where to start either. They were avoiding eye contact and as soon as Lani was looking at him, Odion felt his cheeks flare. But Odion knew exactly what Lani looked like, perched in his chair and keeping his distance. His face had hallowed out some in favor of a stronger jaw line and higher cheekbones, and he was taller now. So was Odion, but it seemed like he would never quite catch up with the telekinetic. Odion knew he looked unkempt, and he made a mental note to fix his 5 o'clock shadow very soon. Odion finally cast his gaze at Lani, looking at exactly what he had envisioned, and every detail was there from memory, almost as if he had drawn Lani himself. He smiled despite himself, and then blinked a couple times, clearing his head. "I'm in the process of getting an apartment with Jared," he stated, because Lani deserved to know, and not worry. It was better to bring it up now than remember it in the context it had been admitted in. And it was easier to talk about the present, than the past.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani glanced back at Odion when he heard him mutter but he missed the word that was spoken. For good measure Lani shrugged like he hadn’t a care in the world, just in case it was something he would want to argue. Though he wouldn’t exactly argue with the opinion that he was stubborn. Taking Odion into his space was like welcoming him back into his life. He couldn’t hide from Odion while they were in the same room, if he did, he’d have to lock himself in his room and he didn’t really want to shut himself away. In response Lani just turned back into the bathroom and grabbed a bottle from the cabinet. He didn’t want to admit that he’d stolen stronger medication for really bad days, so he took back the ones he took on a daily basis back out and simply tossed the bottle to Odion.

The cats rubbed up against Odion and each seemed to demand more attention than their siblings, Shadow even sat near but Darshay and LJ were seeming to fight for most of Odion’s attention. The cats were probably what finally knocked him completely out of his rut, he’d had to take care of something that couldn’t provide for itself. And in his case caring for the three cats had given him a reason to do things every day. He at least needed to feed them and make sure they were doing well, which usually led to him spending time with the felines. Lani nodded and gave a smile. “Yeah, yeah, they were doing really well,” he said in what he hoped was a reassuring fashion. “Avi took very good care of them. But…” He paused his smile vanishing. It was going to hurt Odion to hear something like this, but they were being honest right? And Odion had just said he’d tried to erase him, Lani shouldn’t care. The fact of the matter was that he did, but he didn’t know how to sugar coat it. The telekinetic gave a heavy sigh. “They didn’t understand why I was there and not you. LJ’d sit there and just meow.” He gestured toward the door randomly.

Odion was a fool if he didn’t think he’d leave a hole. Avinea was just as heartbroken as Lani was when he told her. They’d really had to get through it together and he remembered how angry she’d been. He never thought he’d hear her legitimately threaten to kill the redhead. There were countless people who’d been affected, even in little ways, by Odion and the kittens had just been more honest than anyone in the their mourning. They were just plain unhappy and Lani couldn’t very well explain to them what happened. Lani bit his tongue and forced himself to swallow the harsh thought that crossed his mind. Odion’d let himself remember the cats enough to miss them, but not Lani. Lani looked down, he felt like trash thrown away in the wastebasket, picked back out as an afterthought of regret. He knew he was being crazy, he was making assumptions again, Odion might have only recently remembered them as well, it was very selfish for him to think this was only painful for him.

Lani forced the thought out of his mind, Odion wasn’t a cruel person, he just missed his cats, simple as that. And if he hadn’t missed Lani as well he wouldn’t be here. He sighed and accepted that as truth and it soothed his nerves. The cats just cuddled around Odion and Lani allowed himself to smile. He was being selfish and unreasonable. Well, he had a tendency to be unreasonable when things were unpleasant or otherwise things that he didn’t want to deal with. But if he didn’t deal with it now he never would. “You’re telling me,” he let out a little laugh, he wasn’t sure why in his mind that surprised him, but the fact that he’d somehow come into the company of three very full grown cats was still surprising to him. Lani was in such a state of confusion. He wanted Odion here, he wanted him gone, he wanted to close off his heart, he wanted to open it. The confusion was causing an ebb and flood of his power and the telekinetic didn’t know what to feel, what to think or what to do. All he knew was that he was angry and he was hurt and he was confused because he also was happy to see Odion, loving and protective of him and even more confused by the redhead’s presence.

There was pain in Odion’s eyes and Lani met his gaze with a stubborn glare. Lani clenched his jaw, Odion wasn’t making this easier. Lani was controlled but he was angry, everything that Odion was saying was being dissected under a microscope in Lani’s mind. He knew that and was afraid he’d taken it the wrong way. Knowing that he’d been ‘erased’ wasn’t sitting well and he wanted to move past it but the residual anger was still grating his nerves and making him a time bomb. He scoffed in response and shook his head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he said softly. The moment he did he wished he hadn’t. “But, I don’t,” he amended, if his request meant anything, “I don’t.” Odion was reaching out and Lani was recoiling from his touch. Odion had been too close and he’d been hurt so logically it would make sense to keep Odion at a distance. As per usual, logic and his heart disagreed and Lani only wanted Odion closer again. He gave Odion a forced smile, “Well, either way we can’t have the cats missing you again, so you’re just gonna have to stick around.” So, maybe Lani was hiding behind the cats but there was a hope in his voice that Odion would stay, if only for that.

There was a silence that stretched between them every so often that was so painful and tense that it felt like the whole atmosphere might just freeze and shatter. Lani nodded in silent agreement. It was a daunting task and right now it seemed like picking over the rubble for something salvageable was going to be difficult. “Oh good, good,” Lani said, relieved that Odion wouldn’t be living on the floor of wherever it was at the college he was staying at. He felt like he was cursed. Odion was the sun, his light, his purpose and the reason that his world was beautiful, and he was cursed to forever chase the sunrise but never catch up. “How’s he doing?” Lani asked to fill the silence. He really didn’t care how Jared was, he was just beating around the bush now. It was like he was avoiding a hard topic. He felt the pressure of his power and he felt the desire to let all of the tears fall. He just wanted to scream in frustration. All he could hope for was that they wouldn’t leave here today more broken than they came.

This would take courage, on both of their parts, they would have to work hard for what had come to them so easily. When Odion was gone, it had felt like a part of his soul was missing. He had to be prepared to say things that he knew Odion wouldn’t want to hear, just as he needed to be prepared to hear things that he wouldn’t want to listen to. He really wanted to try, because Odion was worth all the work to him. His eyes fell on the small silver necklace resting against Odion’s chest and Lani took a deep breath. He swallowed and mentally gave himself a pep talk. He could do this, he could do thing, he had to do this. If Odion meant anything to him he had to. And Odion meant everything to him. Odion was his everything, his world. His power reached out for Odion gently touching the redhead, first with a hesitant poke then something more like a caress. Lani pulled it back when he realized he’d let it slip and he couldn’t deny the emotion there was still strong as ever. “Odion, are you doing okay?” He didn’t know why he asked, but it finally dawned on him that remembering the things that he’d done might not be easy for the redhead to swallow, much less tell him about.

[Odion Martins]

The time turner wasn’t so stubborn to think that he was beyond taking a couple acetaminophen here and there. Snatching the bottle out of thin air, Odion heard the distinct difference between the sound these pills made in this particular bottle, and whatever Lani had taken in the bathroom. A rather sour look overcame his face, but perhaps that could be blamed on the fact that he had just dry swallowed a couple of the pills Lani had given him. It simply wasn’t his business anymore, and he didn’t want to argue over what Lani was or was not taking or on. Odion really didn’t want to discuss substance abuse right now, considering his argument would hold no ground.

These three cats had given the boys hope before, and they were doing it again now. It was almost silly, the amount of joy that could come from owning and caring for these animals. Odion had never understood it before, but he did now, like it had almost always been a part of him. The redhead’s body visibly stiffened at the mention of Avi, whom he still hadn’t gone to visit. He had texted her at the very least, but she was right pissed at him and Odion wasn’t ready to continue stirring that brewing pot. Still, she had taken care of the trio, and if not for him, then she had done it for Lani. He suspected it was partly for him too though, as she had been on the few people to see good in him. God where would he be now if not for those who had hoped in him when he had no hope left? As Lani continued to explain, Odion felt his heart sink before any words were spoken. The way the cats reacted today said it all – how terrible of a person could he be to break all kinds of hearts, even cross species. Not knowing how to react, Odion just let the reality of what he had done to sink in. He had truly been selfish in not coming back home.

Odion would rather Lani just take a swing at him than continue feeling the elephant in the room trying to nuzzle him like the cats were. He wasn’t going to complain about things not being fair, but they weren’t. How could he have been so stupid? The only person angrier at him than Lani was, was himself. “I’m not promising anything,” Odion ensured, “I just want to know what you want.” Because if it wasn’t him, he didn’t want to further ruin Lani’s life. But he hoped that he meant as much to Lani, as Lani meant to him. If he hadn’t meant so much, if Lani hadn’t rooted himself so deeply into Odion’s life and heart, he wouldn’t have tried so desperately to get rid of him. What he hadn’t realized was how much more hurt pulling those roots out would cause to his already damaged muscle. “I can’t read your mind Lani, but I will do my damndest to give you what you want.” It was all Odion really had going for him in the end. The redhead glanced at the cats and grinned – no, he couldn’t leave them again either.

Frustration crossed Odion’s face. “I think he’s doing well, all things considered.” Odion meant a lot by this statement. First and foremost, Jared had given up a lot of his own time to help Odion repair whatever damage he had caused to himself. Secondly, Odion didn’t think Lani was really interested in the details of Jared’s life, and like him, was trying to postpone the inevitable. And lastly, Odion was doing some worrying of his own. Jared had found himself a new love interest, and Odion wasn’t exactly impressed. Odion knew Jared had a bone to pick with Lani, as he had been there for the redhead when his love hadn’t been. The truth was, Odion had had someone looking out for him, he just hadn’t been aware of what was going on around him. And Jared hadn’t talked Odion out of what he had initially done, but he had been there to help pick up the pieces and that was more than Odion could ask for or expect from Jared.

Odion hoped all of this wouldn’t kill the both of them. It felt like he had already died once – he wasn’t willing to do it again. He wasn’t willing to lose Lani a second time. Whatever honesty was required Odion was willing to give. Whatever stupid things he had done, he hoped he could be forgiven for. They had only just breached the surface, and that wasn’t the hardest part. But life wasn’t about getting things or arriving at certain destinations. They were going to have to brace themselves for the ride. Odion felt the familiar presence that was Lani’s power, and it almost felt like home. Odion had never had a real home before, and there was no mistaking what this felt like. Odion didn’t protest and just watched Lani from afar, wishing he could actually caress and be close to his best friend. Odion sighed and nodded, breaking the spell. “Not really, but I’m hoping I will be.” Lani was right, things hadn’t been easy to swallow. Odion leaned forward, his elbows on his knees once more. “I want to do this Lani,” he insisted, not sure who he was trying to convince, “I want to be me again. No,” he said, changing his mind, "I need to be."

Closing his eyes, Odion pictured what life had been like being Jared’s roommate. He put himself in his own shoes in that time, and secretly wondered if at that point just a few months ago, Lani had been over him. Odion’s own heart broke and his eyes shot open again. He was ready to go back there with Lani if the telekinetic was open to the idea. “Are you ready?” Odion asked, resisting the urge to extend his hand out to hold Lani's – this was going to be a bumpy ride.