SUE: Disorder (Xun)

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Backdated to June 13, 2014

This was going to be Nao's last weekend in Pilot Ridge before his summer vacation took over. Monday he was scheduled to fly out from Burlington to Washington DC, then from DC to Dallas, then Dallas to Tokyo, Tokyo to Okinawa, then finally Okinawa to Ishigaki. It was, to say the least, going to be a long trip and while Nao would have liked to spend his last weekend at Hammel doing something special, he was going to have to use it for packing mostly.

Well....not all was lost. He could still spend some energy(and money) doing a few small things, like going out to the asian market with his friend Xun. Nao would use that time to pack up some very well needed treats for the long trip ahead of him. It was cheaper to buy it now than try to feed himself off of expensive airport food. For that, he was glad that he had asked Xun to go with him, especially since the older super speedster seemed to know his way around town a lot more than Naozumi did. This boy still managed to get lost sometimes on simple errands.

So into the dorms they went, bypassing Naozumi's room at the end of the hall and heading towards Xun's instead. Naozumi sniffed for the nth time during that outing, irritated that he didn't bring a tissue to take care of his never ending runny nose. At least this cold wasn't as bad as it was a few days ago. He might even recover completely by the end of the weekend. He wouldn't count on it. "Do you hab...any cold medicine?" he asked the taller boy as they landed in front of the dorm room door.

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Xun was fortunate to have somehow not caught the bug that was floating around. Which was unusual, considering he was usually quite susceptible to those sorts of things. But he was happy for it, as it meant he was still able to get up and go around and run errands, like his weekly trip to stock up on things from the local Asian market. He usually went alone, but as Nao was going to be leaving for a while and Xun was going to be heading home himself in a couple weeks, he was glad that they'd decided to go together this time.

The Chinese boy really liked his younger companion. He didn't talk to much, they had a lot in common, and they understood each other quite well. Xun had recently learned that Nao actually spoke Chinese, so they could hold conversations in the language Xun had been more used to growing up. He was going to miss Nao while they were apart; he hoped they could keep in touch.

"Oh, um.... Yes, I think so," he replied as they reached his door and he opened it to let them inside. "I have some tissues to, if you would like." Struggling to carry his bags of Asian goodies, Xun pushed open the door to his room and let Nao inside before closing it behind them and flopping the bags on the floor. He began sorting through the items he'd purchased, organizing them in the most logical fashion. "Here," he said, rummaging around in his desk until he found the bottle of cold medicine; he tossed it at Nao.

"..... I am going to miss you," he said, out of the blue, as he frowned at his friend. "[Can we talk on the phone sometimes?]" Xun asked, slipping into his foreign tongue.

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Naozumi didn’t have a hardy constitution, but his wasn’t something to be snuffed at either. Nao didn’t get sick very often, maybe about once or twice a year. Guess this marked for the first one then, right? He was impressed, however, that Xun hadn’t caught the cold that was being passed around all over the school. He’d heard that even some of the strongest looking students had succumbed to it. Nao hoped that it didn’t turn into something worse than it was, like the flu or pneumonia. “Thank you,” he said with a nasaly voice. Nao did not like being sick. He followed Xun inside, carrying his own bags beside.

Nao and Xun had been spending a lot more time with each other recently, ever since they’d become regular practice partners at the school’s dojo. Since Xun had been here longer, he was privy to the best places and tricks to obtaining adequate amounts of food to fuel their shared speed abilities. So, most of their associations were over martial arts and food. And then Chinese. Like Japanese was to Nao, Chinese was the language spoken in Xun’s home back in Seattle. That make it a convenient vector for Nao to get in some conversation practice while he was with his friend.

Naozumi nodded as Xun tossed the bottle of medicine his way. “I am too,” he agreed. Naozumi was excited to be going home, but not excited about the trip itself. And he was going to miss the friends that he’d gained here at Hammle. <“Sure we can,”> he assured Xun. <“I want to keep in touch with everybody as much as I can. I’ll probably be really busy though.”> No doubt his aunt was going to make him work at the beach diner again. It was going to be hard to keep up with his friends on the other side of the world. <“Are you doing anything for the summer?”>

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"You can, um, lay down on my bed, if you'd like," Xun offered, waving to his mattress. "If it would, you know, feel better." He felt bad that Nao was all sniffly and Xun was alright so far. He could just get his sheets washed before he slept again so he wouldn't risk getting sick, too.

But he really did like spending time with Nao. Apart from Cameron and Brooke, Xun didn't really have a lot of other friends (and Brooke was still on the line on that front), so he was grateful for the ones he had. And they really did have a lot they could bond over; Xun wouldn't have minded, even, going past the casual stuff they talked about and really trusting Nao with some of his deeper stuff.

He was relieved when Nao agreed that they could talk. "[We could, um, Skype, or whatever it's called, too,]" he added. Xun didn't know much about how it worked, but he could give it a shot. "[I'm going to be competing in a tournament in Seattle in August, so I'll be training a lot for that. But otherwise, I don't have too many plans.]" Xun popped open one of the bags he'd gotten from the Asian market - some rice crackers - and munched on a few before offering the bag to Nao. "[What about you? Have any, uh, fun plans?]" A question Cam might ask came to mind and Xun asked with an awkward chuckle,"[Visiting a girlfriend back home, maybe?]" It was dumb, he didn't know why he'd asked it, but... Too late now.

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“Thank you,” he said, truly appreciative of the gesture. Nao didn’t think he’d have to lie down, but it was nice to know Xun had a place for him if he needed it. “I think I’ll be okay with just the medicine.” And sitting down. That walk took a lot more out of him than he realized.

<“That sounds good,”> he said. <“Though I’m not sure how good my internet connection will be. We may have to just use the phone.”> It was a touch and go thing at his grandma’s place and even more so at his aunt’s diner. <“That sounds exciting! I wish you luck in your training.”> Nao hoped that Xun did well. He really was so committed to his wushu. Nao wasn’t sure how much time he was going to have to practice while at his family’s place, so he kind of envied Xun for being able to have that kind of freedom.

Naozumi wasn’t sure if he was ready yet to share some of his more “private” matters with anyone yet. It was certainly something he wouldn’t volunteer, and he’d gone so long without mentioning them to anyone that it just felt more natural to let it fade into the background and never bring it up. But Xun, surprisingly, had decided to try and open that door himself. <“A girlfriend?”> he repeated back to his friend with a slight surprise in his voice that Xun would even ask that. He shook his head silently, now pondering if he should go into further. Yes? No? Xun wouldn’t judge, right? <“…..I don’t have a girlfriend,” he finally said. After another long pause he finally said, <“I don’t think…I want a…girl-friend.”> Did he say that clearly enough for Xun to understand? If not, then the pink in Nao’s cheeks was going to quickly become a deep red…it might get that far anyway, even if he did understand.

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Xun nodded with a faint smile. "Okay. The offer is still there if you need it." Although if Nao got too bad, Xun might decide to just take him to the nurse's office or something. He didn't like seeing his friends sick.

"[Okay, that's fine, we can do whatever works for you,]" Xun responded easily with a shrug. He'd likely be spending his summer training and maybe looking for a job, if he felt up to trying to get one. Otherwise, he was free, which was good, because competition season always took nearly all of his energy and concentration, and the tournament was only two months away. "[Thank you!]" he smiled, sitting a little straighter. "[I'll let you know how I do. I'll be competing in three categories - Changquan, straight sword, and staff - so hopefully I will win at least one medal.]" Although to be honest, it was rare Xun went to a competition without getting some medal in nearly all the categories he competed in; with his dedication and natural skill, it was well-earned.

He had no idea why he'd asked the question he had. It was nosy, and silly, and completely off-track to what they were talking about. But for some reason, it had come up, and it was too late to take it back now. "[S-sorry, I'm just being nosy,]" he stammered, popping some more rice chips in his mouth. When Nao offered a little more information, though, Xun listened intently, head tilting as he thought he picked up the slight enunciation in his friend's voice. "[You want a... Boyfriend?]" he asked with genuine curiosity. The Chinese boy pondered this, trying to determine what he thought. "[I-I mean that's totally fine!]" he blurted after a moment, realizing his silence might come across badly. "[I... I actually got my first kiss from... From a boy not too long ago,]" he admitted shyly, cheeks burning.

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“Thanks.” Nao didn’t expect to get much worse, he couldn’t really afford to otherwise they’d stop him in the Tokyo airport and keep him from his next flight - the Japanese were very contentious about public health - but it was still nice to have someone worry over you.

Naozumi felt a little bad that they would have to communicate over the summer based on Nao’s availability and potential internet access, but it wasn’t something that could be helped so Nao chose to push it aside as best he could. <“Do you often win medals?”> Naozumi wasn’t sure how those things worked. Aikido didn’t have competitions, they had demonstrations. Naozumi remembered that Mathis too had a lot of trophies displayed in his room as well. It…should have, but did make Nao feel a little…inferior wasn’t the word, because Naozumi knew that his ability was very good, though he always wanted to get better, but it did make him feel a bit off, for not going out and indulging in these kind of competitions like most others seemed to do. He didn’t understand the appeal. But it was something Xun enjoyed, clearly, and took very seriously, so Nao wished him the best in his endeavors.

Nao shook his head. <“It’s okay,”> he assured him, though he wasn’t sure that it was…yet. This wasn’t exactly a conversation that Naozumi was comfortable with, but he felt like it would be rude to not answer. His face flushed a bright red when Xun actually said the word and the meek boy dipped his head even more, nodding slightly. Nao didn’t know how people would react to hearing about that still. It should be okay, there were plenty of same-sex couples here, at east that Naozumi saw, but….guess it was hard to get over reservations like what Nao had. “From a boy?” he asked, snapping his head up and switching back to English. “Are you…” How was he supposed to ask this? “Are you…too?” And suddenly he wanted to bombard Xun with more questions. “Do you…like him? I mean, are you two going out?” Somehow, it would make Naozumi feel better to know these things. He’d never had a friend before who was close enough to talk about this kind of stuff about.

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Xun flushed modestly and looked down, folding his hands in his lap as he settled on the edge of his bed. "<Yes,>" he admitted a little sheepishly. "<I... I really hope it's because of my training, and not my ability.>" Judges sometimes complimented Xun on how fast he was, even though he always made it a point not to put his power into play when he competed. Maybe he really was just naturally fast and talented. "<I... I hope to attend Beijing Sport University after I graduate,>" he added. Having a good number of medals under his belt already should really help him get in... If they allowed meta-humans, that was. Xun wasn't sure if they would, and he was scared to look into it.

Xun wasn't particularly comfortable about this sort of subject either; he had no idea why he'd even thought to bring it up. However, it did seem like something that Nao... Wanted to discuss, but perhaps was just a little shy about it. He wasn't trying to avoid or drop the subject, after all. "Am I... Only interested in boys?" he replied quietly, cheeks flushing a pale pink. "I... I don't know. I'm very... Confused." Xun had hardly even thought about romantic, or even sexual, relationships before Cam had kissed him. "I... I think perhaps I like girls as well, but... I am not really interested in... Uh..." Xun's face turned bright red as he struggled and failed to say the 's' word. "But... We are not dating. At least... I do not think we are. We just hang out." Did he like Cam? "And yes... I like him a lot. I am just uncertain about... What kind of like that is." Xun looked down at his hands. "Are you... Interested in someone?" he asked meekly.

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<“Yes,”> he agreed. <“I feel the same way about competing in track meets. I don’t know if my success is due to me unintentionally using my power or not. Since I can’t tell, I’d rather just not compete.”> That way he wouldn’t have to worry about it. <“Beijing? You plan to study abroad?”> Though it was China, Nao knew that Xun was from Seattle, but Xun’s heritage was Chinese so…it was confusing, though not any more than Nao’s own heritage and origins. He was born in Japan, but lived in California.

“Oh…” he said, somewhat disappointed. Unlike Xun, Nao was very certain of his sexuality, and that was the problem. He wasn’t sure how others, especially his family, would receive it. While he was still a long way off from being sexually active(Nao had some reservations about that simply because moving into that would was so foreign to one as young as he), he was aware that it could move in that direction one day, if he found someone he….he really wanted to…

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it, with a certain person he’d gotten close to recently.

“So…you don’t know…” Nao was speaking softly still, as if his words being any louder would end up being projected to the entire school. “So…you kissed…but you aren’t together? You’re just friends?” Nao needed that clarified. “Do…friends normally kiss each other?” His face was turning redder by the minute. “I…might have someone,” he admitted. “I don’t know what he…” What did Ray think about them kissing? Was he just being a good friend? Or did it mean something to him?

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Xun frowned and looked over at his friend sympathetically. "<I'm sorry you feel like you can't compete,>" he said, hesitantly reaching out to rest a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. It didn't seem fair. "<You and I can race sometime,>" he offered with a smile. That might be fun. Maybe they could find other speedsters at school to run against. "<Yes, well... I would like to, if I can get in,>" he confirmed. "<It's the only place I know of where I could actually study and get a degree in wushu.>" And it wasn't like he'd never been to China before, at least.

He felt like his answer had disappointed Nao somehow, and Xun bit his lip, looking away. He wished he could give a more definite answer, but... The truth was, he just did't know yet.

"No... I'm sorry," he murmured. "I wish I did. But... It's just not something that I've thought that much about until recently." Did that make him weird? Xun looked up as Nao kept speaking, feeling a faint flush cross his cheeks at the continued conversation. "I... I think so," he answered waveringly. "I mean... He hasn't said anything, and nothing has happened since, so..." Did he want to date Cam? He really didn't know. It was nice just to spend time with him. "I... I don't know that either," he mumbled. "Cam is... Interesting. He's very... Open... About that sort of thing." It seemed both of them were blushing madly - Xun noticed the tinge to Nao's own face.

"Can I... Ask who it is?" he asked with shy curiosity. "I won't say anything to anyone, or anything." Xun laid back and stared up at the ceiling, folding his hands over his stomach. ".... Kissing is weird," he added. ".... But... It's kind of nice."

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<“I’d like that,”> Nao said with a smile. <“There’s another girl on the track team who also has a speed power. Maybe sometime we all can race?”> That would be great, honestly. And maybe get Ray in on this too. Even though he didn’t have super speed, his foot-wings made him faster than the average person. Nao was sure he could still beat the taller boy, but it was still something fun to do.

Nao’s disappointment was silly. He just wanted to know that he wasn’t the only one struggling with his insecurities. With his fears. But Xun was older and hadn’t really thought about it much…

Nao curled his lips in as he listened…maybe Xun wasn’t as sure of himself as he thought? He said it earlier and it sounded like he wasn’t lying when he said he was confused. “But…you’d kiss him again if the opportunity came up….even if you weren’t going out, right?” Was it wrong to kiss someone if you weren’t together? Was it wrong to…trick someone into a kissing arrangement just so you had an excuse to kiss them? To take advantage of someone like that? Nao didn’t know what he was thinking when he and Ray made that agreement, but as far as Nao knew, Ray only agreed to it to help give Nao more experience, and not because he was gay or had any sort of feelings for Nao. And if Xun also had a friend who was willing to simply kiss him for friendship’s sake then….then it wasn’t impossible that that’s all that Ray was doing for him as well. Nao still didn’t know the exact parameters of Ray and Yancey’s relationship…or of Ray and Maddie’s…or of Ray and any of the other girls he saw him with.

It was none of his business anyway, but it would give Nao some peace of mind to know…but he was too self-conscious to ask. “It’s…Ray…Raylaigh Hawthorne…” Naozumi didn’t know if Xun knew who that was or not. “Yeah..it is.” His face was burning red by now. “I..I kissed Ray…” he said quietly.

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Xun nodded eagerly. "<That sounds fun! I'd like to race against people who actually stand a chance for once.>" He sent a challenging wink in Nao's direction. He had a fair amount of confidence that he could win, given he was both older and taller, but one never knew.

He wondered why Nao was so curious about this subject. Then again, Xun had been the one to bring it up in the first place, and he was pretty curious too. "Um... I mean, I... I guess," he stammered, blushing red. "I mean... It happened so fast, I hardly even knew until it was over. I didn't, um, reciprocate or, or anything." Xun fiddled with his hands. "I guess... I'd like to try it again... And be able to return it," he mumbled. And, to be completely honest, he didn't think it had to be Cam. Kissing was just... Casual, he felt. Friends could do it, because Cam had without a second thought. Maybe his next kiss could be with someone else? Who knew? It was kind of exciting.

"Ray..." Xun tried to think if he recognized the name. He didn't socialize a lot, so it didn't sound familiar. "I'm afraid I don't know him," he mumbled, still staring up at the ceiling. He glanced over at Nao's admittance, a small smile creeping up his face. "Really?" he replied. Xun sat up, and scooted over a little closer, like a gossiping girl. "How... How was it?" He didn't mean to be nosy, but he was incredibly curious. "Did you kiss him back?"

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Naozumi smiled. <“Yes, I always feel guilty racing against people who don’t have a speed power,”> he admitted. <“Because then if I let them win, it’s too obvious, but if I go all out, then…it just doesn’t seem fair.”> Nao was certain that Xun would win, however, if simply because he’d been training with his power long and so knew better how to use it effectively.

“Oh,” he said. Again. Nao just…wasn’t sure what else he could say. It didn’t seem like it was anything particularly special or…something…to Xun. “Do you think you might?” he asked. Nao should really just drop the subject. But he couldn’t deny that he had an interest in…kissing. He had an interest in kissing. And in knowing more about….himself…and his preferences. Maybe… If it weren’t for this ‘arrangement’ he had with Ray, Nao would not be trying to make this exploration.

That didn’t make the boy feel any less uncomfortable about the subject.

“He’s on the track team….and the dance team…he’s sixteen…and…” Nao dropped his head further, the crimson color heating up his face even further as he trailed off into mumbles. “It was…I like it….” It was weird at first, but the more he did it, the more Nao found he enjoyed it. He nodded shortly and quickly to Xun’s question. “And…more than once….and…more since….” He wondered if he should tell Xun about their ‘arrangement’? It was so…weird…wasn’t it?

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Xun nodded in agreement. He felt exactly the same as Nao did; there was no easy way to race against someone without a speed ability without seeming unfair either way. So he'd just stopped trying. "<I guess something else you can do is just race against yourself,>" he suggested. "<Try to beat your own times. That's what I do sometimes.>"

He fiddled absent-mindedly with the blankets. "Um, well... I don't know," he admitted sheepishly. "I don't... Think I would... Unless he started first. Or asked." Xun wasn't going to just kiss Cam without warning. He wasn't a forward sort of person like that, and he would be too nervous that he wasn't doing it right, or that Cam might look at him weird and ask what he was doing. "I don't... I don't know the rules about kissing, I guess." When it was okay, when it wasn't okay...

Maybe he needed someone to help him with that, too. Xun just wasn't sure who.

"Ah... Yes, I know a few people on the track team, but not many," he responded quietly. He might recognize Ray if he saw him, though. Xun's smile widened a bit at Nao's admission. "I wish I had known was what going to happen so I could have prepared..." he mused. Then again, he might have gotten too flustered and just ran away. His eyes widened slightly as Nao went on as to how much they had done it. "Really?" he whispered, scooting in even closer, as though this was all a huge secret they had to keep hush-hush. "So, are you, uh... Boyfriends, then?" he asked curiously. "Or just... Friends?"

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<“I do that too. It’s a lot harder than some might think.”> At least Nao thought so. Because sometimes while you’re busy trying to be better than yourself, you get suck in a rut and can’t seem to get anywhere. It can be frustrating, at times.

“Yeah…I don’t really know them either.” And Nao was hoping that Xun, being older, would have more experience in that area. And would be able to impart some advice onto Nao and his own inner strugglings over his sexuality. But Xun was just as clueless as he was….which was somewhat comforting, he supposed. Even if he didn’t have the same kind of confusion as Naozumi did.

“I…I knew it was going to happen,” Nao said with a small smile and laugh. “I still wasn’t prepared.” Especially not for the first one with that dark-skinned girl, Alex. Just thinking back on it made him uncomfortable. But with Ray, it was…

“……no,” he said, his face dropping in disappointment. “I don’t think so. I think we’re just…friends.” Yeah, friends who kiss each other. His face flushed. “I kind of…tricked him into agreeing to it.” That sounded horrible, didn’t it?