Snuffed out (Lucas)

[Marnie Sullivan]

The sun was beginning to set as Marnie trudged her way across the green lawns, legs aching, gym bag slung over her shoulder. Practice had been especially exhausting today - every day since the train wreck in the library, she'd been finding herself pushing harder, as though she could truly outrun the memory, rather than simply distracting herself from the exertion.

It hadn't been working.

In the week and half since, Marnie had barely slept. Her grades weren't suffering yet - she'd been attacking her schoolwork with the same trumped up vigor as running, and it gave her an excuse to hole up in her room when not in class or at practice. She took to leaving her cell phone in her room throughout the day, rather than risk receiving a text during class that might set her off. And the cafeteria? Please. Marnie skipped meals when she felt up to it, and squirreled away food to munch on in her room. The end result was a Marnie who, while pretty much recovered from whatever illness she'd contracted from the rest of the student body, was beginning to look like death warmed over.

How could she have been so stupid? The first boy to show an interest in her in years, a boy she'd trusted much too quickly, had turned out to be a raging psychopath. Marnie had never witnessed a fight before, certainly not so up close. It was mostly the sounds that played in her head like a grotesque highlight reel; a fist crunching as it collided with a face, a skull cracking against a desk so loud it might have split. And the threats. That's what got to her the most - that from within the boy who would laugh and joke and kiss till her knees were weak, so much rage had boiled over.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Marnie didn't know what it should have been, but one thing was for sure - this was all wrong.

[Lucas Blacke]

It was pretty much normal for Luke as he sat on a bench in the sun with earbuds in. Some people threw him a glance, probably for that thing in the library. Or possibly the fact he was headbanging to music only he could hear, so he looked like a retard bobbing his head for no apparent reason.

He shrugged the judgemental from his shoulders and took his phone from his pocket, in the hopes he'd have a message on it from, well, the only one who'd take the time to text him. Or used to. Since the 'incident' in the library Marnie had been ignoring him. What was in fact only a week and a half seemed like years now, and if there was something he could do he still had to figure out how.

Avoidance is a bitch.
Though maybe the reason he sat outside. Maybe he knew something big was going to happen as a lot of confusion had dirtied his mind for days now, he hadn't even taken the time to annoy that one guy with his hand stuck in a vending machine.

How could he be sure he wasn't going for the first girl to cross his path? How could he be sure he didn't settle with the first choice? Especially one that acted the way Marnie did to a fight. Granted, it was surprising even for Luke to have done so, but in all fairness his girl was being called names. And it felt real good to finally be able to let all that pent up anger out.

His mind went back and forth from enjoying the music to debating whether he'd made a good choice or not, when out of the corner of his eye he saw something familiar, and the reason for him sitting outside; a chance to approach the girl without her being able to avoid a conversation.

''Hey Marn!'' He yelled, yanking out his earbuds and very nearly jumping up from his seat. ''You're not avoiding me, are you?''

He walked over to Marnie and crossed his arms over his chest. ''I think we need to talk.'' He said.

[Marnie Sullivan]

Marnie froze when she heard her name called, heart racing and stomach sinking. There was no need to look around to find the source - she recognized the voice immediately. As Lucas approached, her grip on the strap of her bag tightened till her knuckles were white.

"I - I - um -" While Marnie stammered, her eyes were trained carefully on the ground between them. Of course she'd been avoiding him. Berserk Lucas had scared the shit out of her. And even in the time she'd spent away from him, she still wasn't sure how to process it.

Marnie took a deep breath to steady herself, and to will away the prickling in her face as shades of the grass below seeped into her cheeks. She glanced around hastily, wondering how many students were around to witness if it turned into another scene.

"...I'd rather not," she said at last in a tiny voice. "I'm tired and I just want to go have a nap." There was no conviction in her brush-off, but that was less because she didn't mean it and more because she wished she had the guts to just tell him off.

[Lucas Blacke]

This was an unwelcome reaction and didn't help the confusion befouling the boy. His head still hurt from the library, sure, but not enough to stop him from asking why.

He let his arms dangle to his side and found that his hand had been clenched into a fist. No, not a fist, he was mimicking Marnie without knowing he did. He raised his hand in disbelief and found that it was in the exact same position as the girls, a small opening in the center as if holding a bag. And whatever movement Marnie would make with her hand would be copied by Luke. This was the first time in ages he used his ability without knowing it, and it scared him slightly.

He stared at the girl in front of him and stepped back a bit, trying to force his hand in a different position but only finding that it did not budge. His eyes flashed in anger, but only towards himself. Which could be interpreted in a wrong way, but was really just frustration towards his own momentary incompetence.

It began to seem, with what happened in the library and what was going on right now that he began losing control. And the worst part of it all was not Marnie reacting negatively to it, the worst part was that he liked it.

''...I'd rather not.'' The words that echoed over and over, telling Luke he had done something wrong. Deep down he knew what he did wrong, but he could not for the life of him say with certainty that he wouldn't do the same when presented with a similar situation.

His hand unclenched finally as he merely looked at Marnie averting her gaze from the boy. 'You fucked up'. The words of the girl morphed due to the powers of suggestion and it was fueled by how negative Luke was at his core. 'You are a loser.'

''M-marn..?''

[Marnie Sullivan]

As Marnie's eyes flitted around the landscape, she caught a glimpse of the boy's reaction. Startled, she involuntarily retreated a step, a surge of dread in her stomach - what was he doing? Had she imagined it? She wanted to believe she had, she wanted to so much, but all Lucas was doing was cementing the realization of how little she knew him.

"I - I'm sorry," Marnie said hastily, and she winced at the sound of her voice cracking. "I need to go." Without waiting for a response, she turned and continued her route back to the main building, giving Lucas a wide berth as she passed. She sped up as her eyes began to fog with tears - not now.

[Lucas Blacke]

Luke clenched his fist and was finally able to get it to do what he wanted. He closed his eyes momentarily out of relief, and looked back at the girl in front of him as he forced a smile.

''I'm sorry.'' She had said in response to the boy. It took him a few seconds to fully realize what those words meant, and as he did Marn had turned around and continued on to the main building. Fear shot into Luke as his body took a few seconds to accept what his mind had ordered; move and stop Marnie.

Lucas stepped with bigger than normal paces and caught up with the girl quite easily. He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her around as he noticed her eyes starting to tear up.

This was not what he had in mind. What did he have in mind? Not this. This wasn't supposed to be happening right now, right now they were two teenagers plunging themselves into a hole that no one had ever explored. And now they faced their first and, as Luke figured, last obstacle.

The boy manned up. ''Sometimes we have to do what we don't want Marn,'' The weight and double edged meaning of those words came heavy, and at the price of Luke pausing momentarily.

''..we all have to.'' He added.

[Marnie Sullivan]

Please don't be following me, please don't be following me, Marnie mentally begged, hearing his footsteps behind her, knowing from the tightening feeling in her gut it was useless. When Lucas grabbed her to make her face him, Marnie jerked away as though she'd been burned. This time she didn't look away - she stared back, hard, blinking back tears.

"...We all have to."

You didn't feel that way back in the library, she thought fiercely, although she didn't dare put voice to it. You didn't want to leave but you should've, you should've listened to me.

"...Sometimes," she answered finally. She chewed her lip to keep it from quivering while she gathered enough courage to continue. "But not always. And I don't want to talk to you right now and I don't have to." Marnie realized as she spoke that it wasn't only her voice shaking, it was her whole self. Shaking with fear - no, not only that. Anger. Anger and indignation at this boy, this stupid boy, talking like he could tell her what to do, like he had the right to ask anything from her at all.

[Lucas Blacke]

There was the temptation of just nodding once and walking away right then and there. Luke felt he wasn't equipped for this, and never would be. Though deep down he knew that whatever was coming would only help him in the long run, he'd just have to bear through whatever came first.

He sighed. The first time he really opened up to someone and they ended up in tears, yeah, where had he seen that before? He knew this all was mostly his fault, but all he did was stand up for Marn. Was he not supposed to?

''You're right.'' Lucas said with an absolute tone, as if he knew what was coming. ''You don't have to talk.'' He blinked and swallowed a brick of fear away before continuing. ''You just have to listen.''

Luke turned around, his back facing towards the girl as he attempted to muster the courage to say what he wanted. In truth, he did not know what to say exactly as this whole situation was something new to him, and on top of that he was being careful with his words not to hurt the girl. Maybe that was what he did wrong. He shook his head and inhaled before turning around and looking Marnie in the eyes.

''I know what your problem with me is. And I'm not going to justify, nor can I aside from saying I did it for you.'' Luke clenched both his fists in frustration and attempted to continue. ''And I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it on some level. This scares me. Probably more than it scares you.. I don't want to be the violent guy around here, nor do I want to be the one joking all the time.'' He gulped.

''I guess-'' He hesitated as he came to the realization of what he needed to do. His voice died down slightly and portrayed all of the sadness inside him. ''I guess the best thing for me to do right now is take some time to figure out how I'm supposed to do that..''

He turned around as a tear slid down his face.

[Marnie Sullivan]

I don't want to listen to you, I don't, I don't, but her feet were rooted to the ground. What could he even say? If he wanted to apologize, he would have by now. But Marnie stayed, trembling, waiting for the boy to turn back around and procure whatever magic words he had.

...He had done it for her? There it was again, a flash of anger - that didn't make any sense at all! How could he possibly think... Marnie broke eye contact, turned skyward, just to keep from looking at him. Looking at him would mean listening, and listening might lead to believing, and that -

"...the best thing for me to do right now is take some time..."

Marnie's face snapped back to Lucas, stunned, just in time to catch a glimpse of - was he crying?

No, no -

As though she'd been punctured by a pin, Marnie felt her expanding anger whoosh out of her lungs in a breath. Lucas crying - that was nearly as foreign to hear as Lucas throwing threats and punches. And while it wasn't as frightening, it was certainly disorienting.

"...So - so do that," Marnie replied quietly. Too quietly - she wanted to be angry, she deserved to be angry, this was his fault, and now he was turning himself into some kind of unfortunate figure. She took a breath and hardened herself before continuing, albeit weakly, "Take all the time in the world. Just not with me."

Once again, she turned on her heel and began marching back towards the school's entrance, only reaching the doors when hot tears began spilling down her cheeks.

[Lucas Blacke]

He wanted to stop her, he wanted to so badly. But all it would accomplish would be nulling his words, even if it seemed like the most logical thing to do. Just walk over and stop Marnie. Stop Marn. It'd be selfish of him, and it took all of his will to decide against it as his head physically started hurting, knowing that Marnie had turned around and was not going to turn back for him.

Luke raised his hand and saw the girl that had occupied so much of his mind go toward the main building. He closed his hand and let it go limp, throwing down his head and turning around himself.

He started walking. Where he was going was a decent question, but not one he could answer. Not now. His emotions were all tangled up and had been begging for Luke to untangle them for quite some years now. Problem was, Luke had never realized the importance of them in any situation. They were there, and most of the time they would just get in the way of whatever needed to be done.

Thoughts began churning as several tears dropped to the ground. He didn't care about people seeing him cry, no one knew what he was thinking, what he felt. And for once, that was a good thing.

Luke raised his head and wiped away tears with the back of his head, momentarily glancing back to the entrance of the building.

Knowing they both had things to figure out, he knew they'd meet again. This couldn't be the end, it couldn't be. The thought of it being a permanent end was suggestively lingering in the back of his mind, but telling himself this wasn't permanent was what kept him from breaking down entirely.

This isn't the end.
This isn't the end.
This is not the end.

With a layer of cement-hardened feelings in his throat and a chunk of tears doing their best not to detach he was finally able to utter two final words with a raspy voice.

''Thanks Marn.''