More Than Words (Gryph)[Triggers]

[Deleted]

Triggers: Violence, language, self harm


Oriel wasn't sure how long it was supposed to last, but he'd been pretty much on constant surveillance ever since that night a coupe weeks ago. When he'd pretty much thrown away everything good in his life through a stupid, drunken mistake. And once again routed himself all the way back to square one. Worse than square one, in fact. Oriel didn't even have Phoenix to fall back on this time. Because they still wouldn't let the two boy see each other privately(ha, jokes on them, Phoenix flies in through the window when he thinks he can get away with it).

Good behavior, he supposed, resulted in a slight lift on the surveillance, though that was only during the daytime when Phoenix was at work and Oriel was in classes. Oriel wasn't allowed to leave campus. Big whoop-dee-do, Oriel didn't give a shit about that. There was nothing down in that town he wanted anyway.

So it was, in fact, midday, and Oriel had just gotten out of classes. After moping around in his room for a good 20 minutes, he decided that he hated his room(as usual) and would indulge in some much needed breathing air down by his usual spot at the pond.

Oriel had had the time to ponder over how his actions had affected Kodi and his relationship with Turkey-boy. But that's about as far as it went. Oriel had far too many other things weighing down on him to consider doing anything about that situation. Kodi probably hated him anyway. Gryphon already did. Oriel was quickly losing everyone close to him and it was his own damn fault. Once again, he thought that it would have just been better if they all stayed away to begin with.

Phoenix would no doubt disagree, but just look where his association with Oriel had landed him.

Considering everything, it was no surprise that Oriel was actively avoiding both Kodi and the bird-brain, though it was easier to avoid the latter since he no longer lived on campus. Which was why he wasn't keeping a close look-out for the winged college student. And why there he had no time to prepare a face other than pure surprise and panic when he opened the doors on his way out of the dorm building to find himself face first with a Mr. Gryphon Matsuoka.

Once he got over the initial shock, Oriel quickly put on his defensive scowl and pointedly decided to exit through the other double door instead. Oriel didn't want to get into this right now. He let the other door fall closed on the Turkey, preferably on his face. Oriel kept walking down the walkway outside.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon wasn't generally a bitter person. He got angry sometimes, and annoyed, like everyone else -he was human after all- but he wasn't bitter. He forgave people, and got over stuff. Like how he was forgiving Kodi about what had happened between the dentokinetic and Oriel. Well, he was trying to. He was feeling better about it, seeing as Kodi had told him that he would try to make sure nothing like that would happen again. The person he didn't forgive was Oriel. Not being bitter meant he also didn't really hold grudges, except against certain people, but his reasons were crystal clear. He was strongly against his dad because of his lack of parenting at all ever, he detested Nick because of his complete escapade of causing distrust and insecurity, and now he hated Oriel as well. He hadn't hated him before - honestly, he hadn't. But now he did. It would probably take a miracle of some sort for him to start feeling positive emotions towards that asshole.

First of all, he had been the catalyst for this dispute between Kodi and himself. They were past that now, but Gryphon knew it never should've happened. And yes, it was Kodi's fault too, but there seemed to be an awful lot of dominance from Oriel regardless. It was him who.had initiated it, and him who had continued it.

And if that wasn't fucking enough, Gryph had been hearing about the shit going on between the ink manipulator and Phoenix. There was that collar-leash incident from God-knows-how long ago, which was enough to set him on edge, but then he found out that he had hit Phen. And he had the nerve to text him to look after Phoenix - what, was he just supposed to ignore him and leave him alone until Oriel gave the word? No! Goddamnit...

It was safe to say, even thinking about Oriel was enough to get Gryph's blood boiling. He hadn't really seen him recently, which he was glad of. He didn't need to see that psychopath asshole again.

Which was brilliant, because just as he thought of that, there he was. Gee, wasn't that swell? Gryph's features and body clearly tensed more than they had been before, in anger, in shock, in some kind of disgust. He had been on his way to see Kodi, but now he definitely had something else on his mind. Because as much as he just wanted to walk away and faceplant onto Kodi's bed or something, he needed to give Oriel a piece of his mind. He wasn't exactly prepared for this conversation, but he was prepared to just let his brain talk without a filter.

Gryphon swivelled around and followed after the boy, "Oriel, what the fuck is your deal?" He said, straight up, "Are you too much of a coward to at least look at me and say something?" He walked a little faster, into a jog, going around in front of him and stopping, "An apology would be nice." He spoke sarcastically, a dark eyed scowl on his face.

[Deleted]

Gryph might not have been wrong with his words. Oriel was scared. He was scared of backlash of what he’d done, he was ashamed for it, he knew he fucked up, he didn’t want to have to deal with the consequences…..and all of that, combined with the stress of not being able to do anything about it and being unable to get comfort from the one person he knew could help, easily shifted into just pure anger. More rage. It was one of the few ways that he knew how do deal with the shit that went down in his life; just lash out at everyone. Blame everyone else. Push them away. Deal with it alone. Don’t let on to how he was really feeling and when they got close, lash out even more.

It would have been fine if Gryph had just let it be and been on his way. Oriel would have gone to the pond and had a few cigarettes and used the outside air to calm down enough so that he wasn’t at risk of driving his fist through someone’s face. Or from straight up fucking the first person who showed interest.

But no, of course not. The fucking yodeling turkey had to chase after him of all things and demand the world from him.

Well, fuck him. Oriel couldn’t give him the world. He had to conquer it first.

Oriel slowly closed his fist, glaring at the ugly winged meta like he was standing between him and the last danish in the world.

Oriel scoffed. An apology? Really? As if that was going to make it go away. As if Gryph was actually the holy saint he claimed to be and would even accept it. Nothing was going to fix this, so why waste his time? “Fine,” he said curtly, looking away for a moment then back with a sneer. “I’m sorry….Kodi was in love with me first.” He snorted a laugh. Why did he fucking say that…?

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon was not about to just leave this. Oriel had been the cause of multiple issues in his life, and there came a point where just accepting it had happened and moving on really wasn't enough. He didn't know what to expect of Oriel, but grovelling for forgiveness was definitely not a possibility. He was just hoping he wouldn't be the dick he usually seemed to be.

The winged meta rolled his eyes. Clearly, Oriel didn't understand, if he wanted to mock Gryph's way of going about things. He wasn't exactly strong with words, but he preferred to talk over becoming violent. So sue him for being reasonable, even feeling how he was and seeing Oriel's face and wishing very much for it to be pushed to the ground.

Of course, the past was the past and it couldn't be altered, but if the ink manipulator actually honestly felt bad about this and apologized, Gryphon would be more willing to at least try to remain mutually bearable. But instead, his eyes narrowed and he went to shove Oriel backwards, hoping he would fall over his own feet or something. "How can you treat this like a joke?" He spat, "You made me promise to look after Kodi or whatever, an' then you're the one who's making things more difficult than they need to be." Gryph glared at the younger boy, "Do you even care about him?" Because it really didn't seem that way.

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Oriel had his own pace of doing things, and it just made him more anxious and defensive when people tried to force theirs on him. How long had it taken him to finally work up the nerve to apologize to AJ? And even then, he had Phoenix there to nudge him. Gently. Effectively.

Go away! he wanted to scream. Leave me alone! I’ll get to your fucking apology when I’m good and ready for it and when I don’t feel like murdering the next person who breathes on me!

But that would make sense, wouldn’t it? That would actually be revealing a desperate part of himself that he didn’t want anyone to know existed. That would imply that Oriel was suffering through this whole fucking ordeal just as much as anybody else was, even though he was the root cause of everyone’s problems and didn’t deserve to feel bad.

Oriel didn’t fall backwards, but he did stumble back a few steps, catching himself with one of his legs swung out behind him. He laughed, slow and quiet, his shoulders moving with each miniature heave as he rose his gaze again to meet with Gryphon’s. “Ain’t you been paying attention t’anything lately?” Oriel curled his lips into an antagonistic grin. “Clearly, I don’t care ‘bout anybody. Or I wouldn’t keep acting like a fucking asshole all the time.” Oriel narrowed his eyes and straightened himself, taking a couple slow steps towards the other tall boy. “That the answer you looking for? You fucking perfect, pretentious, saint-like, bastard spawn of…fucking Mother Teresa and Gandhi.” Or whoever the fuck they were. “How’s it feel to finally have a pair? Instead of ditching everything once it got 'too hard'?" He was surprised that Gryph hadn't broken up with Kodi. Or maybe he had? Oriel didn't know, he had his own problems.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryph expected Oriel to feel bad, at least a little bit. It was human nature to feel guilty about stuff, so even if he didn't say anything that showed it, Gryphon expected a part of Oriel to be suffering, but he fucking well deserved it. Everyone who fucks up deserves to feel bad so they realize they've done wrong and then they act upon it, and make things better, so they didn't feel bad any more. Which wasn't what Oriel seemed to be doing.

Hell, maybe he didn't even feel bad. Maybe he was just a heartless bastard after all. Gryph's base belief of everybody was that there was good in everyone, and that even the most violent person was probably just misunderstood. He'd seen the better side of Oriel, once or twice, but those memories just seemed to melt into the background.

Gryphon's jaw tensed as Oriel spoke, not believing what he was saying, even if it was what he was beginning to think of as truth. He scoffed and shook his head, freezing when he heard the word 'bastard'. Because Oriel probably didn't realize it, but despite the word's derogatory definition, it was true, in Gryph's case. Technically speaking, he was a bastard. And it was one of the words that had been used against him in the past. Along with everything else, that was just the last knock into Gryphon's patience and tolerance, even if it had been thin before. His hands curled into fists, and his right swung towards Oriel's jaw with a strong force behind it, wanting to hit that stupid grin off of his face. He glared coldly, "Why don't you fucking grow a pair and get over yourself?" He seethed, "You can't keep knocking me for something I did ages ago, something that I actually feel bad about which I've tried to redeem."

"Why d'you feel the need to insult me so much? Why don't you just look in the mirror and see what's wrong with yourself first, because believe me," Gryphon was deadly serious, "There is a lot wrong with you."

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Oriel snapped back again, more sharply this time, as Gryphon’s fist connected with Oriel’s jaw. It hurt. Good, Oriel wanted it to hurt. He bent over, cradling his jaw with his inside hand. He tasted blood in his mouth. Oriel spit a red blob of saliva onto the concrete. “That the best you got?” he taunted. “C’mon! I’m sure you got another where that came from! Or you afraid you’ll break a nail?”

He scoffed loudly, demeaningly, at Gryphon’s little ‘lecture’.

Hadn’t he already had this conversation? Last year? Almost exactly. Oriel’s mind flashbacked to that time for a brief moment. He could still hear Kodah’s voice echoing in his head from the last time they spoke to each other.

"Why do ya gotta be such an asshole?”

"I don't know...Stay away from me…”

"Fine! Just leave!”

Oriel had nowhere near the affection for Gryphon that he had for Kodah, but the effect of his words were no less effective. And true.

Oriel breathed through his nose, feeling that familiar rise of tension starting to build within. That feeling he got before he lost his shit on someone who didn’t deserve it. Oriel didn’t care.

He didn’t care.

It didn’t matter anymore anyway.

“I know I got fucking problems!” he shouted barely a second after Gryph finished his little self-righteous speech. “Now are you gonna hit me, or do I have t’fucking make you!” Oriel didn’t give Gryphon a chance to respond for as soon as those words were out, Oriel lunged forward, fist at the ready, and took a full-body swing at the bird-brain. He didn’t even care if he hit. He didn’t care much about anything right now.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

It felt good, that moment of impact. Something kind of rushed through Gryph and made him feel more in control, even if he was less like himself than ever. And it also felt bad. He didn't hit people - he just didn't. Actually doing it, even with his thoughts backing him up, still made him feel crap. The fact that Oriel was trying to egg him on even more hardly helped, and he tensed again, but his hands stayed at his side, not attempting anymore violence. He didn't care if the younger boy was mocking every other word he spoke - it still needed to be said, and it wasn't like Oriel could stop himself from hearing it. What depended was if he would actually listen or not.

Apparently, he did. Gryphon's stern features hid his bewilderment from the suddenly accented words, but he could barely even prepare himself for that hit, which almost knocked him over and sent a sharp jolt of pain through his cheek. "...shit," Gryph hissed. Side effect of hitting someone - you're probably gonna get the favour returned. He stepped back a bit, trying to keep a distance between Oriel and himself.

"I've already stooped down to your level of coping once, I'm not doing it again." He answered smoothly, eventually, keeping his eyes on Oriel, "Hitting someone doesn't fuckin' solve anything." That sounded slightly hypocritical, seeing as he was the one who hit first, but he couldn't exactly take the words back now.

[Deleted]

Didn’t fucking solve anything. Didn’t fucking solve anything!? People who said that were just assholes who liked to feel superior to the people they talked down to! They just wanted to point out how much better they were and more in control they were than the person they were talking down to.

“Fucking pussy…Real men talk with their fists!” That’s how Oriel always solved his problems and it worked out splendidly for him! “Now man up and hit me!” Oriel had never been one to take his time in a fight. So he just lunged forward again aimlessly with another prepared fist.

“…why do it[fight]? Does it ever really make people listen to you?"

"If they ain't listening in the first place….it's like that old saying…Actions speak louder than words."

But…do people listen?”

Callie…that cunt…he should have just given her a first hand demonstration back then. Give her a real reason to run off crying.

Oriel’s face was red as he spiraled down further into his own fury. “Fight me, goddammit!” he screamed again. Because Oriel wasn’t going to stop until someone made him. And he hoped, prayed to god, that it’d hurt more than the pain going on inside him already. So he didn’t have to think about it anymore.

Tears started to form as he took yet another blind swing. 

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

"No, real men talk with their mouths, and with words, and they're actually reasonable." Instead of madly rampaging and letting out all of their anger and energy in a few minutes. He managed to dodge the hit this time, swiftly moving out of the way of Oriel's reckless aim. "Weak men talk with their fists because they're incapable've communicating in any other way." Gryphon had no idea where that statement came from, and it was probably the wrong thing to say right now, but the only reason he cared was because of his sense of self preservation.

He didn't understand why Oriel so desperately wanted a fist fight, "I'm not gonna fight you!" He said, exasperated. Defend himself, yes, but as far as violence on Gryph's side went, he wasn't planning in doing anything more. The third swing caught him partially on the chin, and Gryphon winced at he introduction of more pain, hand going to the impact zone. He shook his head, growling slightly, "Do you think hitting me is gonna make me want to hit you back?" He was angry and pissed off, but Gryph would like to believe that he still held onto his common sense. "If I was gonna hit you, I wouldn't wait to be aggravated." Problem was, Gryphon really didn't have a good way of defending himself (complete and utter lack of experience), so unless Oriel calmed down or someone else stopped this or he got away somehow, he was probably gonna half to fight back if for nothing else than to stop Oriel from hitting him, which he didn't want to resort to.

Gryphon kept back, "Just cut it out!"

[Deleted]

Why wouldn’t he? Dammit, just fight back already! Pummel this creep that ruined your life! You want to, don’t you? Make him pay for being such an asshole to you and everyone you care about! Oriel wanted to scream, but the best he could do was grunt as he attempted to swing again, narrowly missing the older boy’s jaw and just getting by with a graze.

Oriel couldn’t even think about stopping, but he was lashing out so blindly and with such force that his next swing, whether it hit or not, had Oriel stumbling down on himself, off-balance, until he fell to his knees. By that time, Oriel could feel his face flushing and eyes stinging as his chaotic emotions continued to pour out of him in the form of hot, frustrated tears which fell in droplets to the concrete.

Oriel couldn’t breath anymore. He needed something, anything to happen to snap him out of this, Oriel didn’t care what it was.

“FUUCK!!” he screamed, slamming his fist hard into the concrete. Oriel felt something snap. His knuckles burned as they started to drip blood. Oriel pulled his hand away sharply, crying out from the pain and leaving a red streak behind on the sidewalk. Oriel crouched down even further, his face twisted from the pain, though he couldn’t tell if it was from his hand or his heart. He gasped a breath, bringing air into his burning lungs, and expelled a strained cry. “….I’m sorry…” he sobbed into the ground. Oriel didn't even know if Gryphon was still around to hear it.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

This incident had gone from Gryphon being absolutely furious, to him being scared shitless. Oriel was showing no signs of stopping, and Gryph didn't know what to do other than to keep ducking and dodging and stepping out of the way. He managed to be mostly successful, until he stood on something uneven and faltered, meaning that Oriel's fist met his fave again, making him spin away at the renewed pain, as the other boy fell forward.

Gryph was just about ready to get away from here before things got more ugly. Go up and talk to Kodi, maybe even just screw everything and go back home again. But then Oriel lashed out behind him and he jolted as the boy's fist met the solid ground, and as the red trickled out.

Gryphon still hated him, his sympathy wouldn't change that, but he couldn't just leave him here. Shit, he had no idea what to do. He hardly caught what Oriel said, he was too busy trying to work out a means of helping him. He ended up running inside and getting one of the dorm monitors. It was kind of difficult to explain to a member of staff why someone punched the floor, especially since Gryphon himself didn't even know. The dorm monitor went to get the nurse and Gryph just hovered near Oriel and sighed.

Fucking shit.

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It hurt….it hurt….what the fuck was he thinking….??

Obviously he hadn’t been thinking. But the pain radiating out from his hand was sharp enough for Oriel to be focusing on that a lot more than everything else going on around him. There were probably people watching the whole incident. It was surprising that someone hadn’t already gone to get a member of the staff to break up the fight. Or non-fight, whichever it was.

The pain was even enough to detract him from the circulating thoughts which had spurned him into this break. He just wanted to be left alone. That wasn’t going to happen now, though.

Oriel hadn’t noticed that Gryphon had run off. He didn’t care, he was too lost in himself to notice. But by the time the older boy had returned, Oriel had finally calmed down enough that he wasn’t going to continue their altercation. There was no point to it anyway.

At least….he was breathing better. Slowly, but surely, Oriel was relaxing. He blinked. His eyes took a moment to focus, as if they’d just woken up. Oriel lifted his head up at Gryphon, surprised that he was even still hanging around. He coughed out a short, disheartened laugh, and looked down at his bloodied right hand still being cradled by his left. “Well that was stupid…..” he muttered, his voice deflated.

[Gryphon Matsuoka]

Gryphon was as confused as Oriel was.

He'd seen people around as he had gone to get help, and he had to push past a few more of them on his way back. They just really didn't highlight into his concern, especially when he was busy thinking about other things already. They were all just kind of gawping like stupid fish. Yes, Gryph was being judgemental, what else did you expect when he was dealing with all of this... ridiculousness.

When he got back, and it seemed like Oriel was coming back to his senses, and he knelt down in front of him. He heard him mutter, and... well, he probably wouldn't have this opportunity again. And he just needed to get it out. He tensed his right fist and aimed to hit one side of Oriel's face, "That's for all of the shit you've done," His other fist tensed and swung around on the other side of the ink manipulator's face, "And that's for making me feel sorry for you."

At this point, there was probably some authority figure nearby but he was beyond caring. The winged meta stood up and escaped from the scene, deciding against staying inside those walls much longer and instead opting to leave and get the first bus to the outlook, so he could just get away. His face still ached.

[Deleted]

Oriel knew he could take a lot of damage but even he had his limits, especially when he had a broken hand. Oriel would still say he'd been through worse though.

After the bird boy took off and came back, after the guy continually refused to fight him outright, Oriel assumed that they were done. So the two punches left by Gryph were something of a surprise to Oriel. After the second one, he tasted more blood. Felt it too, as his lip started to trickle the fluid down his chin. Though even after that, Oriel was still massively deflated and made no move to fight back. Later, Oriel would probably use this against the winged meta, but right now Oriel was focused too much on the ungodly aching in his right hand.

That really was fucking stupid of him, wasn't it?

Oriel continued to sit there in the crowd of students that had accumulated, until one of the adults guided him to his feet and started leading him to the infirmary.

His eyes lazily searched the crowd for any familiar faces, specifically one in particular. He hoped that Phoenix hadn't seen this. Phoenix didn't need to know how much Oriel was not okay.