Boxes, Whiskey, Fish, and Guns (Derek)

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For the hundredth time, Phoenix hoped he wouldn't regret this.

After being released from the hospital the previous day, Phen had gone to Hammel to gather his things for the move. It went smoothly enough - he'd already (regretfully) taken most of his things from Oriel's room, apart from a few clothes and knick-knacks that he didn't need terribly, so most of the stuff was in his room practically untouched otherwise. Phoenix didn't have a lot, so he just filled one box with clothes and another with other things like his sketchbooks and pictures and his few other possessions and he was good to go. It was sort of hard - okay, really hard, he might have cried a little - leaving the dorms, but he reminded himself he could move back in if he needed to. And it wasn't like he could see Oriel anyway....

It took him the next morning to get everything settled in since he had crashed pretty soon after getting to his father's home. He was feeling a little stronger after his stay at the hospital, but he was still very thin and weak and would need time to build up his strength. He'd found he could more easily consume foods that reminded him of his home in Seattle - mainly Korean and Chinese dishes. Mostly a lot of kimchi. Phoenix just hoped he could keep it up and not be reduced to a shivering, starving mass again. He still wasn't eating a lot, but at least it was something.

Once he'd finished putting his things away, he shuffled out into the living room, uncertain where his father might be. "D... Dad?" he called out, still unused to using the term. "I, um... I finished putting all my things away." Now he just didn't know what to do. Were they supposed to try to... Bond or something?

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Derek had asked for the next week off of work, using up about half of his vacations days, so he could work on getting his small house set up and ready for his son to move in, and so he could use the rest of the time to make sure Phoenix was settled in properly. He’d had the desk in his office moved out into his own room, and replaced it with a full-sized bed, dresser, and nightstand. He didn’t know what else Phoenix might need, so he decided to wait until the boy was actually out of the hospital and they could go shopping for anything he’d missed together.

He’d made the proper arrangements with the school. They’d said they would keep his room in the dormitories available for him until he decided on a more permanent situation. It was a short ways to the school from his house, but Derek was sure he’d be able to manage to at least drop the boy off at the beginning of the day before heading in to work. Otherwise, Phoenix would have to take a bus. Or they could arrange for a carpool. There were no doubt other families in the area with children who went to Hammel, weren’t there? Maybe he should consider helping Phoenix get his driver’s license and getting a cheap, yet functional car for him to use?

There were so many things to think about, and Derek was pondering over them silently in the living room, his laptop placed before him on the coffee table, and the television set on mute while it played the mid-afternoon news, that lovely Idalia woman on the picture again as she reported the current weather.

He lifted his head as the boy entered the room and called out to him. “Ah, good,” he said with a nod. Derek motioned to the recliner set diagonal from his spot on the couch. “Have a seat.”

Though to be honest, Derek didn’t know what to do either. And there was likely to be a long period of awkward silence while he tried to figure that out.

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Phoenix didn't quite realize all the sacrifices that his father was going through in order to make him comfortable, and it was probably better that way - he would have felt even more guilty had he known his bedroom hadn't previously been just a guest room like he thought, and that Derek had worked hard in order to make him comfortable.

Still, it was really hard to have hard feelings for the man after all of this. Phoenix still felt uneasy talking about his sexuality at all, and still felt like he was a disappointment to the man he'd only barely met, but... Hopefully they would settle more in time.

Phoenix cleared his throat and dipped his head as the man acknowledged him, his long bangs dipping just above his eyes (geeze his hair grew fast, he was going to need to get it cut again...). "Oh, um, o-okay," he stammered, looking up at the chair and shuffling his way over. He'd taken a couple of the shirts that were actually Oriel's and were quite large on him to his new home, and he was wearing one now - a long-sleeved whose sleeves were long enough to easily reach past his hands. His fingers kneaded nervously into the fabric as he sat, and he held his hands up against his chin, half to sort of hide himself, and half to try to catch any last whiff of Oriel's scent to calm himself.

"So um...." He looked around the place, which wasn't incredibly fancy or anything, but... It was a house. "I've never lived in a house before," he mentioned quietly. He and his mother had lived in several different apartments, and spent time in her parents' place, but he'd rarely experienced the space of an actual home. "It's, um... It's nice." Phoenix cleared his throat again and rubbed the back of his neck. "So.... Did you, uh.... Have any plans for the day?" What were they supposed to talk about? It felt like Phoenix should be asking a ton of questions, but he just felt sort of mute and dumb.

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A lot of money was put into getting Phoenix settled in, but Derek found he didn’t mind it too much. He’d been fortunate to land the position he did at this company. It was a decent salary and honestly provided far more money than necessary for him to live on alone. Derek simply wasn’t an extravagant person when it came to day-to-day living. His hobbies are what he’d planned most of it to go into, such as getting into a few select water sports so as to impress a particular young lady. But that could wait a while longer.

He looked to Phoenix as he sat himself down, taking note of the oversized shirt and unruly hair. They should probably go clothes shopping too. Should they do that today? Or tomorrow? So many things to decide.

Derek nodded at his son’s admission. He didn’t think he had. Myndi, as far as Derek knew, had always lived in apartments. Then again, they didn’t keep in contact too too much over the years. Mostly just a phone call here and there for information exchanging and the like.

When the question came, Derek found he didn’t have an answer. “I do not,” he said honestly. After a moment’s pause, he continued. “I thought maybe we could use the day to figure out if there was anything we wanted to do later. I have some time off work, the school has allowed you a brief absence to settle in and recover…” So that gave them a measure of free time to spend getting to know each other, right? Derek leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him. “Is there anything you would like to do?” Aside from seeing his boyfriend.

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Phoenix wondered how his dad felt about his rather feminine appearance, especially given his current look... But didn't want to think about it too much. It was interesting, he thought - his father's hair wasn't that much shorter than his, but he was so much more... Masculine. Phoenix didn't think Derek had or would ever be mistaken for a girl. Why couldn't he have been given those genes?

He snagged a pillow and put it in his lap, finding comfort in the plushy object. He wished that Oriel had given him a stuffed animal sometime so he could have it now...

"Mm," he mumbled, finding the idea of them just sitting around watching the news to be... Awkward and boring. So when the idea from his father came, Phoenix looked up, giving a small nod at the suggestion. "Since we have the time, we might as well, um, do something," he agreed quietly. Phen squeezed the pillow tighter. His dad's gaze was... Unsettling, and he felt the edges of his cheeks grow warm self-consciously. "U-um... I-I don't know. I don't really have a lot of, um, hobbies outside of Hammel," he murmured. "I don't usually get out a lot. I just, um... Well, the only thing I'm okay at is drawing." Oriel would of course argue that he was a great lover, but there was no way he would tell his father that. "Wh... What about you?" Phoenix managed to lift his meek gaze onto Derek, shoving some stray strands of hair from his face.

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Long hair was fine in Derek’s opinion. After all, he grew up in the 80s, the glorious pinnacle of hair bands, and he never thought any of them were immasculine. It was simply a matter of how one wore it. Phoenix did not seem to have any specific way of how he wore his…that might have to be something else he taught the boy.

He did seem very meek, which was fine. He was introverted and there was nothing wrong with that. After all, Derek had been somewhat of an introverted nerd back in high school himself. Not completely thought, he went out on a regular basis as well. It was just about finding the right balance

“You draw? Thats…that good.” But it was a hobby that allowed him to lock himself up and away from the world. Phoenix needed to be more social and get some better influences. “I swim,” he answered. “I actually enjoy doing quite a few outdoor sports, like rafting, rowing, hiking….have you ever been fishing?” he asked, raising his eyes to meet with those of his son.

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Father and son, possibly bonding over hairstyles and products and cuts... Yaaaay. Oriel would have a blast with that.

"I.... I guess so," Phoenix murmured, rubbing his arm self-consciously. "I used t'go out by the pond and do it a lot when I was...." He trailed off. He didn't want to tell his dad he'd gotten high off of his own dust and drawn the abstract images he'd seen. "... Anyway, I do a lotta abstract stuff, but um, I've been doin' other things too. I uh... I brought some sketchbooks here." One of them was filled nearly entirely with sketches and doodles of Oriel and Oriel-related things like kittens and danishes and... Not so decent things... Phen would have to keep that one under the bed.

"S-swim?" he repeated, a hint of fear touching his voice. Phen had had a couple sessions with Salem, but he was still very frightened of water. "I uh... I don't do well with deep water," he admitted quietly. "I... Had an incident... When I was younger..." A gang-related incident that he didn't want to go into. At the question, he shook his head. "N-no, I... I never had the chance to," he mumbled. "Haven't, um... Haven't done much... Or any, really... Of the other things either." And rafting and rowing sounded terrifying to him. "I'm just not really a very exciting person, I guess. I... I got too much anxiety t'try a lotta things." Phoenix wrapped his arms around himself and tucked his legs up into the chair. "... I know how t'use a knife though," he added off-handedly and without details.

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Like Derek had said back at the hospital, this whole father/son thing was new to him as well. If one looked at his browser history, they’d find a list of web pages documenting advice on how one can re/connect with their child, absent fathers trying again, etc etc etc….and after all that, Derek still felt like he didn’t have a clue as to what he was doing.

He was surprised to hear about Phen’s dislike of deep water. And of course, he wondered what the circumstances were behind this “incident”. It was disappointing, though, because if the boy had that much of an aversion to water, then most of Derek’s hobbies weren’t ones they could share. Derek didn’t draw, so that wasn’t something they could ‘bond’ over either.

“Anxiety….there’s nothing to be afraid of, you understand that right?” Maybe if they found out what was causing so much anxiety, Phoenix could start trying new things, and maybe even find he enjoyed these things.

His ears perked up at his son mentioning he knew how to use a knife. “You do? Well, there you go, that’s exciting, right?” That brought up another idea. “Have you ever held a gun before? They have a shooting range a few miles outside of town. We could try that.”

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Phoenix wasn't as entirely afraid of water as he had been last year, but it was still incredibly frightening and he didn't want much to do with anything deeper than his chest. And he doubted his father would have the patience or interest in trying to get him to slowly overcome his fear like others had tried in the past, like Wren and Salem.

".... I know..." he mumbled, tucking his chin against his knees. "I was better when Oriel was around, but now that we can't see each other..." Phoenix trailed off. "I'm just really scared of bein' alone," he finally murmured. "And I'm always worried I'm gonna make an idiot out of myself. Well, more of one than I am already, at least." Phen had quite low self-esteem, which had been slowly plummeting even more since his split from Oriel.

Exciting. Yeah. "Uh, I-I guess so," he replied awkwardly. No need to mention he'd used and threatened people with such things before. "Haven't used one in a while though. I... I think I still got a pocket knife in one of my bags." Phoenix just hadn't had a reason to use it recently... Not as a threat, at least. "... Yeah..." he admitted lowly. "Never liked them though. They're too loud. They scare me." He was pretty certain being around guns would bring back triggering memories from Seattle, so the idea of going to a shooting range was far down on his list of things he wanted to do. He'd seen a couple people he knew bleed out from those things. "I-I don't think I wanna do that," he mumbled. "Got... Too many bad experiences." Phoenix peered meekly up at his father, waiting for a scathing response.

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Derek could be patient….maybe. He was exercising patience right now, after all, in avoiding the topic of Phoenix and his sexuality. Avoiding things that would make the boy too uncomfortable to do. Avoiding a situation where his son might end up storming off in a huff again and feel like he had no place to go when he had a perfectly nice bed to sleep in here.

Derek…didn’t agree with Phoenix’s sexuality, and he doubted he would ever. He still insisted that it was a phase that his son would grow out of once he had some more stability in his life and the confidence to lead a normal lifestyle, instead of having to turn to that kind of pathetic life. But Derek wasn’t going to kick him out, he wasn’t going to try and force the issue. He was just going to try and help his boy work his way out of that, slowly, one step at a time.

Of course, after talking with Phen a little more, Derek was starting to see that they had a long way to go.

He nodded, his irritation showing in the way he clenched his jaw. Derek stood with a sigh and walked to the small bar cabinet on the opposite wall. “So what would you like to do?” There were so many things he couldn’t do, was there a single one he could? Derek pulled out a crystal container of scotch and poured himself a short glass. He looked back to Phoenix. “Do you want any?” he asked, holding up his drink of choice. There were other options as well, such as tequila, wine, etc.

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Phoenix was somewhat surprised that the subject of his being gay hadn't been brought up yet. He figured it was only a matter of time, but... Maybe his dad really was trying to get to know him better without trying to make him question his life entirely. Even though Phoenix was still a little upset over their last meeting, it was slowly fading in the back of his mind. Derek had got him to the hospital, after all.

So... They would see how this would go. Phoenix was still ready to bail if he had to, but... He really didn't want to, given all the work his dad had done to get him settled in. And... And maybe he would end up getting better, having someone who wouldn't let him just waste away in some locked room.

Phoenix winced at the look on his father's face, retreating further into himself as the older man stood. His disheveled hair hid a good portion of his face, but even his chin was hidden behind his tucked-up knees now. "Um.... I-I don't know...." He wracked his brain for something to do. "W-we could go g-get some, um, bubble tea, or..." Phoenix trailed off. Derek didn't seem like the bubble tea type. In fact, he glanced back up as he was offered the drink that his dad had gone to grab, and gazed at it uncertainly. "I-is that... Whiskey?" he asked meekly. After a moment of hesitation, he gave a tiny nod. "Um, sure, I guess I could try some, but..." Phoenix fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm only nineteen. I m-mean, not that I've never drank before, but..." He trailed off. Was his dad really the type to encourage underage drinking?

When he was given his drink, Phen would down it with a grimace and a cough. "Th-that's... R-eally strong," he sputtered. Still... He needed to impress somehow, right? Phoenix took another (smaller) sip.

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Many times Derek had asked himself exactly what he was trying to accomplish with getting himself involved with his son’s life this late. He was well aware that he hadn’t the right. Derek even had feelings that he didn’t want to do it in the first place. He’d been perfectly content without being involved so far, why did he have to do it now?

Regardless of the reason, Derek did realize that, somehow, he wouldn’t like it if they went back to being strangers after having finally met. It was…distasteful to him. Even more so since it was apparent that Phoenix was having some issues in his life(all of which would be solved if he just gave up being gay) and with Myndi unable to be out here for the boy…and since Derek was able….

It was confusing to him too. He was going to need more whiskey. “What’s bubble tea?” he asked as he took a sip of his own drink, then topped himself off. Then he prepared another one for Phoenix and handed it to him. “Yes. Not the best tasting, but you get used to it.” And once you did, it served it’s purpose well. Derek gave the boy a good, hard stare. “This is my house, my rules. If I say you can drink, then it’s fine. But…” He took a breath. “If you’re going to drink, then only do it here and while I’m present, understand?” That was reasonable, right? Derek thought the age laws towards drinking were ridiculous, after all. Only in America were they so strict and was the age limit so high.

Derek almost laughed when the boy took his first drink. It was an expected reaction. He sipped his own, feeling the warmth of the alcohol spread out from his core. “You’ll be fine. Once you can drink whiskey straight, anything else you can handle with ease.” There were few other liquors which were as harsh. “If nothing else, I can at least teach you how to drink.” He sipped his drink again, retaking his seat on the couch and sitting back with a small smile.

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What's bubble tea? "Uhh..." Phoenix wasn’t sure how to explain that, or if he should. “It’s… Tea… Usually milk tea… With uh, I think they’re called tapioca bubbles or somethin’… Uhh, boba.” Yeah, that was the word. He gave a tiny sheepish smile. “I-I don’t think it’d be your thing.” Especially given Derek was now offering him strong alcohol. “I… I dunno if I wanna get used to it…” he said hesitantly. Phoenix didn’t drink often, and he didn’t particularly like it; it was just fun on occasions when he’d wanted to get a bit frisky with Oriel. Although, thinking about Oriel and drinking brought back memories of that night and… Phoenix’s face fell. He almost missed what his dad said next, but he managed to catch on and look up after a moment. “U-uh, yeah, I understand,” he said quietly. “I don’t have a fake ID or anythin’ anyway.” As if he was smart enough to know how to make or get one of those.

And… Why did people enjoy drinking this stuff anyway? It was nasty!! “I… I think I prefer bubble tea,” he sputtered after another gross sip. “Or even hard lemonade or somethin’.” Phoenix was so thin, it never took much to get him buzzed. He sat the glass down and offered a grimace of a smile in return. “Uh, well, that’s…. Good,” he replied awkwardly. How was one supposed to respond to that? Phoenix fidgeted with his hands in his lap. “So…. Uh…. Where d’you work?” he finally asked, thinking it was a fair enough question. And he assumed Derek did work, given his willingness to take Phoenix in. He sort of wanted to ask about Percie too, but… He wasn’t sure how well that would go over.

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The things young people came up with these days. What was wrong with regular tea? “Possibly not. However, I would be willing to give it a try.” Even if it somehow sounded very…fruity….and not in a literal fruit way. This was Derek trying to be accepting without acknowledging, by the way. He gave a shallow nod. “If it’s not to your taste, then there are others which might suit your pallet more.” Derek himself had a preference for wines when in the mood for something more savory or sweet tasting and less harsh.

Derek pressed his eyebrows forward. And here he thought all the kids had fake IDs to sneak in the bars. Derek knew how to get one…but he probably shouldn’t be encouraging his son to drink that much. “That’s good. Then I won’t have to worry too much.” Even without the ID, as a teen Derek got his alcohol from others and in very informal settings. And far from the club areas, so there was less chance of getting caught, though back in those days IDs were checked much less than they were today.

Derek frowned slightly at his son’s rejection of the liquor. He supposed that should be a good thing…but it still left him with distaste. “Very well,” he said after a short pause. He leaned forward. “But at least finish what you have there. This is expensive and it would be a waste.” A waste of perfectly good alcohol. And Derek probably shouldn’t have any more…even though he’d likely have another anyway. Derek sat up again, nursing his drink a little more. “I work at XXX insurance company, out of Burlington.” It was pure luck that he was able to get the job, and it paid well enough for him to support a small family, so he was happy enough with it, despite it not being his ideal job. "Do you have any other questions for me?" he asked. Now was as good a time as any to get some of them answered.

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"You would?" Phoenix asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. For some reason, he hadn't taken his father to be the... Experimental type. He offered a hesitant smile. "We can go and get some sometime, then, there's a shop downtown." And if Derek hated it.... Oh well, he could drink his nasty gross stuff. "O-oh, um, well, I guess we'll find out then," he replied uncertainly. Then again, if his dad was willing to try his stuff... Phoenix supposed he should humor the older man too.

He was gonna become an alcoholic at that rate though, and he wasn't sure how Oriel would feel about that...

"No, you don't have t'worry about... That stuff... At least," Phen mumbled, averting his eyes. He didn't feel comfortable yet telling his dad about all the other stuff he'd had experience with, but... Something told him Derek was probably aware somehow anyway. ".... Did Percie tell you what my ability is?" he blurted, unable to remember if this had come up between any of the three of them before.

"O-oh, um, right," he stammered, trying not to grimace down at the glass of the gross stuff. Phoenix picked it back up and swirled the whiskey around a little before forcing a couple more sips down. Gross. "Don't blame me if I'm drunk after just this one glass though," he joked weakly. Phen listened curiously as his dad spoke of his job, although he really had no idea what that sort of job even was. "That sounds... Interestin'," was all he could think of to say. When Derek asked if he had any other questions, however.... How was Phoenix even supposed to begin? He bit his lip for a long moment before he slowly managed,"Wh... Why did you... Why did you leave me and my mom?" His voice was soft, nervous, with only a slight hint of accusation. "I kn-know nothin's gonna change but... I just wanna know... Why."