Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man(Phoenix)

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One date. A dinner. Maybe something after.

It wasn't much, but it was something and Oriel was more than willing to take it. Sure, he could complain about not getting anything more than that, or not being allowed to be intimate with his lover, but by this point, Oriel was so starved from being unable to meet with his boyfriend that this prospect was like a goddamn oasis in the fucking desert. Oriel couldn't afford to be picky about his so-called "rewards". Not when he knew Phoenix wasn't doing so well. And not when he wasn't doing much better.

Well...Oriel had made some progress. Maybe. He couldn't tell.

The medication was doing something funky with his head. He wasn't sure if it was supposed to do that or what, but Oriel wasn't sure he liked it.

Either way, this was a chance and he was going to take it, and since he didn't know when it might happen again, Oriel decided it was probably best to treat this like a good old fashioned real date(as if it were fake or something) and dress up for it. Like, nicely. Like, not a hobo. At least he didn't think he looked like a hobo in his outfit(pieces of which had been borrowed from some people or maybe the costume closet). Could you believe Oriel even bought a bouquet of flowers?

Oriel arrived first at the restaurant, his "shadow" following behind and taking the table next to theirs rather than sitting with them. Oriel was glad for that at least. Oriel was nervous, though, as he waited for his long-lost date to arrive.

He hoped Phoenix would get there quickly.

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Phoenix had been doing a little better since his trip to the hospital. His dad was keeping him fed on Korean food and he'd started to develop a little bit of a sweet tooth again, so he wasn't as frighteningly underweight as he had been then. He was still skinnier than he'd been when he'd last been allowed to spend time with his lover, and it showed in the gauntness of his cheeks, but at least he wasn't about to keel over.

Although even if he was, Phoenix wasn't going to miss this for anything. He couldn't get to Honest Abe's from his dad's house fast enough. How long had it been since they had been allowed to see each other? A month? And at least twice that much since they had private time? Phen couldn't believe he'd survived it. Well, hell, he nearly hadn't, given his collapse...

He was dressed pretty sharply himself; with his dad's help, he'd picked out something that didn't hang on his fragile figure and made him look a little stockier than he was. Add to that that he'd recently gotten his hair cut again, and he felt... Better than he had in a long time. A little uncomfortable in the weirdly formal clothes, but... He wanted to look good for this.

As soon as he walked in, Phoenix started looking desperately around, trying to catch sight of - ahah! It took him all of two seconds to locate his man. It took all of his willpower not to run over immediately and-

Oh who was he kidding? Phen had no willpower. He immediately darted to the table and flung himself into Oriel's arms, uncaring about what those around them thought as he smothered Oriel's face in kiss after kiss.

"I missed you... So much..." he gasped between smooches. His fingers trailed through Oriel's hair, and Phoenix paused long enough to take a closer look at it. "Your hair is so long..." he mused softly, looking up once more and sealing the comment with another kiss. Fuck, he thought he might have a heart attack, he was so damn relieved.

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Was he nervous? Of course he was nervous….he was nervous, right?

Shit, he wasn’t even sure what feeling these days. But he did know that he wanted to see Phoenix. He wanted to see him. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to fuck him. He wanted Phoenix.

So he sat, his hands clasped together in front of his mouth, staring straight ahead until…his eyes finally caught the visage of his beloved. He pulled his lips back into a smile and stood as the Korean boy raced towards him, his arms held out to catch the boy as he fell into him. Every kiss was warm, a relief after having been kept away from them for so long. And each and every one Oriel returned with one of his own. His arms wrapped tied around Phoenix’s thin frame - he’d lost so much weight - one hand trailing up to run through the shortened hair that he loved. “Phoenix…” he breathed. “Fuck….you cut your hair again.”

Oriel didn’t want to let go. He wanted to hold him forever, so they could never separate them again. Oriel would have been content with the two of them just standing there in the middle of the restaurant holding each other all night.

They would have, probably, had the supervisor not given an audible interruption.

Oriel pulled away slowly, his smile fading only slightly. “I missed you so much,” he said softly, leaning down to give him one last kiss. Then he finally tore himself away to sit back in his chair. “How…?” How you been? That was a dumb question. “Your dad treating you good?” Hopefully that was a better question.

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Of course Phoenix wished this was more private, and that afterwards they could go back to their room and spend the night locked up inside and making their roommates put in their earplugs... But he knew that couldn't happen, so he tried not to think about it. Just being able to see Oriel, to touch him and kiss him, would be enough.

The scent of him, the feel of his arms swooping down to cradle Phoenix against him, was all so familiar, it was like they'd never been apart in the first place. The boy's heart hammered in his chest, and tears gathered at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill out at any moment. "Y-yeah, I did," he mumbled between shaky breaths. "D-d'you like it? Do I look p-pretty?" It was a weak attempt at a joke, and Phoenix let out a dry sob as he buried his face in Oriel's longer hair again. Why couldn't they just stay like this forever?

Oh, right, they had someone watching them. Phoenix had all but forgotten; nothing mattered but Oriel. He regretfully let Oriel pull away, his hands moving down to lace with Oriel's own. His watery eyes traced over Oriel's features, taking in how much more fatigued he looked than Phoenix remembered. It made his heart hurt. "I missed you more," he murmured, sitting as Oriel did. He made sure at least one pair of their hands stayed interlocked over the table.

"Mm... Yeah, I guess," he said softly, finally averting his eyes to look down at the table for a moment. "... He helped me pick out this outfit. God knows I never could've picked something this nice otherwise." Phoenix was clueless when it came to fashion. "I... It's better than bein' alone in my room at Hammel, at least." His thumb traced over the back of the younger boy's hand. "Wh... What about you?" he asked, looking up again. "I kn-know it's been really rough for you... I w-wish I could do s-somethin' t'make all this go away faster...."

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Oriel wondered briefly if they could get away with sneaking to the bathroom for a quick…something, and not have the supervisor notice. She wouldn’t follow them in, right? It was that same burly black beauty that’d followed Erik around last year, back when Oriel was in the hospital. Wendy Sullivan, a righteous woman who liked to meddle in the affairs of the students like it was her God-given mission. She was a talker too, never fucking shut her mouth(not that much different from Oriel when he wasn’t shackled by his emotions).

Oriel nodded to Phoenix as he fished for the compliments that Oriel would have given anyway. “Sexy as fuck,” he growled, grasping some of that hair in his hand and giving it an affectionate tug. “I could take you right here, right now, on this table with you looking like that.”

He gave the Sullivan woman a glare when she interrupted them, but he didn’t dare address her. This was their night, she could go enjoy her beefy burger with greasy fries all by herself. Oriel savored the feel of their fingers locked around each other, Phoenix’s skin slightly cold just as he remembered it. “This a fucking contest’re something?” Oriel said with a smile, choosing to ignore the small turn in his stomach that told him that his lovers statement implied that Oriel didn’t care as much as he did. It was…they were both in a pretty bad way, it wasn’t constructive to consider those kind of comparisons, he told himself.

See? Progress, right?

“It looks good on you. The dick has some fashion sense, I’ll give him that.” Oriel still didn’t like the man, though. His eyes fell into something sad. “Yeah…I can’t…” Oriel couldn’t imagine what that must be like. He was envious. Even if he’d been absent all this time, the guy was still making an effort to fix things. That’s what Oriel was seeing, at least. He shrugged. “That…fucking anger class was a trip though. Thought I was going to murder someone halfway through.” He’d comment further if Phoenix asked for it, but Oriel had other things he wanted to talk about. Like… “So…where’d the fuck you go anyway? When you went on that “head-clearing” trip of yours?” Oriel’d been worried as fuck when Phoenix just posted those messages and disappeared like that.

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Phoenix giggled at the compliment, which was quickly cut as he gasped at the hair pull. "D-don't make me get t-too turned on in here," he pleaded, digging his fingers into Oriel's shirt. "And d-don't give me ideas..." But Phen's mind was already wandering into the fantasy, imagining Oriel saying screw-all to those around them and just taking Phoenix like he was...

Ahem. He really needed to stop before his urgency started showing too much.

Phoenix was trying to avoid looking at the woman that was assigned to them, although he realized with a jolt that she was really there to make sure Oriel didn't try anything on him, because Phen was the 'victim' in all of this. That was just... Weird and uncomfortable to think about. Oriel wasn't going to hurt him. "No, just... I can't imagine anyone missing someone more than I missed you," he mumbled, lifting Oriel's hand so he could press his mouth against the knuckles. "Y... You look really good. Even hotter than I remember." As though that was possible.

He blushed and looked down at himself in the unusual clothes. Phoenix didn't think he'd ever dressed up this much before. "I-I guess," he agreed quietly. "He m-makes kimchi too. I've been eatin' a lot of that." It was one of the reasons why he wasn't as terribly thin as he'd gotten when he was in the hospital. That, and maybe some of his meds were finally kicking in. His features got worried when Oriel mentioned the anger management. "D... Did it help at all?" he asked tentatively. He knew his lover hadn't wanted to do it at all, but Phoenix really hoped he'd gotten something from it.

When the question about his mini-trip was brought up, Phen began fidgeting with the napkin on the table in front of him. "I just hopped on a train and went a few towns over," he mumbled, thinking back on that day. "I just... Just needed t'get out of town. I wandered around and got some ice cream and went and sat by a river and just... Thought about stuff." He paused and added,"I got a poison ivy rash, but it was really... Really nice. I just felt... Calmer and stuff." Guilt hit him a moment later. "I w-wish you could've gone with me... Or at least, could go out on your own too..." Because honestly, it probably wouldn't have been as good at clearing Phoenix's mind had Oriel been there. He would have been too distracted.

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“Why not?” he asked lowly. “Afraid you burst in your shorts?” He stuck out his tongue and tilted his head. “I just might want to make you jizz…right here at the table.” Oriel could probably get away with it too….the dumb security chick wouldn’t be paying that close attention, would she?

Oriel smiled, a soft, melancholic sort of expression. “Yeah…I get it.” He really did. These past several weeks had been hard. He lifted his other hand to clasp over Phoenix’s, after his love presented him with a chivalrous kiss. “Is that so?” Oriel found that hard to believe. He’d lost ten pounds himself, and today was one of the rare days where he’d bothered to clean up his scruff enough so he didn’t look like a homeless person. He was sure his eyes were slightly swollen from lack of sleep. Maybe he was hiding it better than he thought? “I think I’d have to say the same. What that shit people say?” He tried to think of it, a slightly amused smile on his lips. “Like, distance makes the heart grow fonder or something?” He didn’t really understand it, but thought it might pertain to their current situation.

“He does?” Hmph. Yes, Oriel was thinking he might be jealous of that. “It ain’t better’n mine, is it?” Oriel leaned in across the table with his lips curled up a little more. “Here’s a hint. The correct answer is “never!”.” The longer he spent with Phoenix, the more he was starting to feel like himself again and not the doped-up, vacant zombie he’d been over the past few weeks. The class had taken a lot out of him. “I don’t know….It was…exhausting, honestly.” It forced him to think about things he’d long since been avoiding. And then he’d have to do it all over again during his regular sessions with Sean, which had been increased in their frequency. “I’m…I’m glad I did it, though. Maybe…I don’t know.” It was hard to tell.

Oriel would rather talk about Phoenix than the difficult shit he’d had to think about at his therapy sessions. Oriel was always willing to listen to whatever stupid story Phoenix had to tell. Not that this was stupid. “Sounds…relaxing.” That was all he could think of for it. He snorted a laugh at hearing about the poison ivy. That was so like Phoenix. “I wish I could have too.” His fingers, the regular chew toys they were these days, slid over Phoenix’s hands, trying to offer their usual warmth and comfort. “I’m glad you took pictures though.I could at least pretend I was.” And it helped stave off his worries for the older boy.

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Phoenix shivered at Oriel's suggestive words; he hadn't forgotten how the boy could get like that, but fuck.... It hadn't lost any of its effects on the pixie. "Wouldn't... Mmm... Need t'try that hard..." he mumbled, cheeks already flushing pink. "And I... Don't wanna... Ruin these new pants..." He also had a habit of being incredibly noisy during such interactions; Phen doubted he could get away with it.

He could tell Oriel was a little less for wear than he'd been the last time they were together (well, previous to the 'incident'), but that didn't change Phen's attraction to him at all. They'd been apart for so long, Oriel could have looked a right mess and Phoenix would have dove into his arms no less enthusiastically. "Yeah..." he murmured about the quote, squeezing Oriel's hand. "Guess... Guess it's true..." And it was incredibly painful while they were forced to be apart. "I'll still think you're gorgeous when we're back together for good though," he added as if there wasn't any doubt. "And I'll love you more every day." Of that, he was certain.

Phoenix was already shaking his head when Oriel asked if his dad's cooking was better. "Never!" he parroted, giggling and smiling right back. "Nothin' beats your cookin', Squishy." Hell, that was part of the reason why he couldn't eat as well as when he was with his lover. Maybe he was biased, but Oriel's food was the best. He listened as Oriel recounted his experiences, a worried crease forming in his brow. "At least it's over," he murmured, fidgeting with his silverware. "And... And at least they let us see each other now. You've must've made some progress, right?" And if he did that, Oriel could do anything he needed for the two of them to be back together!! "I'm really proud of you for doin' that," Phen murmured. "I know you didn't have much of a choice, but... Maybe it'll help in the future."

He smiled faintly. "It was nice just t'get away..." he mumbled. "I'm... I'm tired of Pilot Ridge. I wanna get an apartment outta town, maybe near some woods or somethin', just... Away from a lotta people." He looked to the side. "I got more pictures on my phone. That chipmunk you called 'dinner' had friends, you know." Phoenix had spent so much time looking at them. He glanced down at Oriel's hands, and shivered from the temperature difference. "Damn... Have your hands always been so warm?' he mumbled with a small smile. It was then that the waitress came to get their order, and Phoenix realized he hadn't even glanced at his menu yet. "Uh..." he said dumbly, looking wide-eyed over at his younger lover.

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"Alright," he said, giving the pixie one last kiss on the temple before sitting down. "I'll refrain...for the sake of your pants." Because that was the important thing.

"It is, 'least I think so." Oriel panned his eyes down the full length of his lover, as if to capture the image with his eyes so he could gaze upon it later, even if only in his memory. "I meant all that shit I was putting up - not the butts, but the sappy shit - that was...well, I meant all of it." Oriel was such a fucking sap sometimes, he was surprised he'd done it himself. But apparently it was easier for him to get the message across via internet and using someone else's words than it was trying to get it from his own mouth and have to come up with the words himself. "I...I didn't know I could miss someone this much..." See? Sappy. Oriel tried to not let himself get attached to people, but even so, it was very easy for him. But the depression that he experienced when Madison left or when any of his other past lovers had left him behind was nothing compared to the longing he had for Phoenix, being forced apart from the one person whom he wanted to be with, and whom he knew wanted to be with him, rather than simply being left by someone who didn't want him anyway.

It was just...very different.

Though...Oriel was wondering about his dad's cooking. "Excellent," he said, a mischievous grin hiding his concern. Phoenix was usually so picky and finicky when it came to eating, he was surprised that there was someone other than him who could make something that Phoenix was willing to eat. While happy that he didn't have to worry about that anymore with his boyfriend, Oriel still experienced a pang of jealousy over it.

"I think so...I don't know how to tell." And that much was the truth. He'd not gotten into any physical altercations, but Oriel had argued at length with the instructor on numerous occasions, at least for the first couple weeks. "Guess we'll just have to see." He honestly hoped that things got better for him. Easier. It was always so hard for him to keep his emotions under control, and the meds were doing something to him, but he wasn't yet sure what. It was different than the shit they had him on last year, which was a temporary quick fix, apparently. These ones took longer to see any sort of effect. Oriel hated waiting...but there was nothing he could do.

It was good seeing Phoenix trying to be more independent. Even his thought of wanting to get an apartment was progress for him. Oriel recognized this...but still felt anxious. Because he was stuck at the school. Because that would make Phoenix even farther away when they were already not seeing each other. It was difficult to not say anything destructive about it. "That sounds...good. Maybe we can...or I can...when I'm old enough, you know...?" Words sucked. Oriel hadn't gotten any better at using them to express what he really wanted. Oriel smirked. "No shit? Invite 'em over, we'll make a feast of 'em." Oriel laughed, a little half-hearted, in his attempts to sound like his usual joking, condescending self. It faded though, into a broad, longing smile, as he simply enjoyed looking over his lover whom he hadn't seen in so, so long.

He resented the waitress who'd interrupted them during a moment. Oriel sighed into a grunt. He glared at the waitress. "I'll have..." Oriel had a small moment to look at the menu before Phoenix got there, so he just gave her something off the top of his head. "And he'll have..." Some chicken salad or something. "That okay?" he asked Phoenix, looking back to him.

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Phoenix felt his face getting red as Oriel spoke, and his eyes cast downward shyly despite the grin that pulled at his lips. “I-I know you did,” he murmured, rubbing the pad of his thumb over Oriel’s knuckles. “I…. I felt all of that stuff too, I couldn’t stand it sometimes…” He’d never known that he could get so physically ill over not having someone in his life every day. “And… And I don’t want this night to end..” Because they would have to go back… And they wouldn’t know how long it would be before they were allowed to see each other again. Phen’s eyes started to get watery again, but he managed to blink it away. “No matter how long it lasts, I promise I won’t stop thinkin’ about you for a second,” he swore. “Even… Even if they force us apart until you graduate… I’ll wait for you.” Phoenix just hoped he’d survive that long.

An idea came to Phoenix’s head. A bad one that he immediately regretted but blurted out anyway. “Maybe they’d let you come have dinner with me and my dad sometime,” he mumbled, wincing right after. “If you promised, y’know… Not t’kill him or anything.” He didn’t put it past either of the two men to do something to the other…

“Well…. Yeah, I guess we’ll have to see,” Phoenix repeated in a sigh, wishing he could do something to speed up the process. “I feel useless, not having t’go through anything and not really helping at all…” He knew that Oriel was the one that ‘needed help’ and that he himself was the ‘victim’, but it still hardly seemed fair when they were far worse off without each other than they were with each other. He sorta understood why they were forcing it but… Phoenix had a hard time separating himself from the situation enough to be any sort of appreciative.

He didn’t realize what he’d said had made Oriel so nervous. Phoenix hadn’t meant by himself, and when his boyfriend anxiously stammered out his hopes, the pixie’s eyes went wide and he nodded. “Y-yeah, sorry, I m… I meant the two of us,” he breathed, squeezing Oriel’s hand. “Sorry, I… I just thought that was obvious, that I’d want you livin’ with me.” He offered a small, nervous smile, which quickly turned to a look of horror at the suggestion of eating his ‘friends’. “You do that and I’m keepin’ my pants on around you for a whole week,” he threatened. As though he could.

Phoenix didn’t particularly like being interrupted either, but he gave Oriel a look when he seemed frustrated at the woman who was just doing her job. He nodded as the boy ordered for both of them, not really caring too much about it; he’d eat as much of it as he could, in this small bit of time while he actually felt really hungry. When the waitress left, he let out a loud sigh and rested his cheek against the back of Oriel’s hand. “Maybe we should work on your poker face a bit,” he suggested, keeping his voice light. “It’s always really obvious when you’re annoyed with someone. You look like you just swallowed something really sour.” He let out a small giggle.

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“I don’t want to wait that long,” Oriel said in a low voice. “I want you…I want everything now.” He knew that wasn’t going to happen though. And that was what made it so hard. “Maybe I’m just fucking selfish, but…I don’t want to wait until I graduate just so somebody else can tell me when I’m allowed to be with someone who wants to be with me anyway.” That didn’t seem fair to him. Oriel knew he had issues. He’d always known that. And he’d been trying to work on them. Although that ultimately failed, so now he was trying something different(albeit somewhat reluctantly). Oriel didn’t understand why they couldn’t be together with the assurance that Oriel was trying to do something about his problems. He’d probably be more encouraged to try harder, and less stressed overall, knowing that Phoenix was waiting for him at the end of the day.

Oriel raised an eyebrow at the suggestion. “….I won’t kill him…probably,” Oriel replied cautiously. “But you think he’d even have me?” Oriel had heard about what that guy had said to Phoenix and his dislike for Phoenix dating a man was very apparent. “He’d probly poison my food or something,” he grumbled.

Oriel sighed and brushed his thumb over Phoenix’s hand affectionately. “You ain’t got to do nothing…I’m the one who fucked up,” he breathed. “I’m the one who is fucked up. And…I been working on it, even before, but…I don’t know, maybe I just got too fucking complacent or something, and thought it’d just fix itself if I just worked at it slow….” But then he just got worse. “I don’t know what I’m fucking trying to say,” he said, shaking his head. Like maybe it was better that they were forcing him to do it all at once.

And now Oriel felt bad, that he’d let his anxieties get the better of him and make him jump to a conclusion that wasn’t even true. Why couldn’t he just trust Phoenix more? Then that sort of thing wouldn’t happen. “Okay, ‘cause…I want to live with you too.” He wanted it to go back to the way it was, only with them living in their own space. Like how they’d been at the cabin for the Fourth of July. Oriel smirked. “Is that a challenge I hear?” Oriel was already thinking of ways to make this work, even during their separation.

Oriel pushed his eyebrows forward at Phoenix’s comment. “I look annoyed because I am annoyed and I want them to know I’m annoyed.” His face relaxed slightly. “Trust me, if I wanted to hide it, then you’d never know it.” Or so he thought, but Oriel was naturally very expressive in his face, despite being terrible at it in words. Oriel twitched his lips in a smile. “And are you laughing at me?” He leaned forward and landed a peck on his lips. “Dork.” Oriel stuck out his tongue.

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“I don’t either…” Phoenix murmured, lip trembling. “I j-just don’t know what else t’do, and I’m tryin’ t’prepare for the worst case scenario…” It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. “That’s not selfish, or… Maybe I’m selfish too, ‘cause I don’t wanna wait either. I know what… What happened wouldn’t happen again.” Phen had complete faith in Oriel, even if he maybe shouldn’t have. “At least… At least we have tonight,” he said, trying to be optimistic. “Maybe they’ll, y’know, let us do this more often now that your class thingy is over.” He could hope, right?

Phoenix snorted at Oriel’s ‘promise’, but the truth was, this really was worth being wary and concerned about. “Yeah, I… I dunno,” he mumbled. “I mean, he helped me with my clothes and stuff for tonight, but…” He wasn’t sure how to word this. “I’m afraid uh… I’m afraid he’d have a hard time with even the most polite, easy-goin’ boyfriend in the world.” And Oriel, well, obviously wasn’t those things. Phoenix doubted his dad was a murderer though…

He stayed quiet as Oriel spoke, still wishing there was something else he could do. “You’re not totally ‘fucked up’,” Phoenix argued. “You’ve been better lately, I’ve seen it. You just… Just had a setback and it triggered some stuff, that’s all.” It was easy to downplay it as the boy’s lover; Phen was just too close to really see the big problem. He loved Oriel for how he was, wasn’t that enough?

Phoenix had enough of this sitting-across-from-each-other shit. He peeked around before standing a little and scooting his chair around the table so he was settled next to his boyfriend, tucked into their little corner together. “I can’t imagine myself with anyone else,” he murmured, resting his cheek on Oriel’s shoulder. He chuckled at the question, a small spark in his eye. “Maybe,” he teased, resting his hand down on the boy’s thigh. He gave it a squeeze.

“Uh-huh…” Phoenix replied with sarcasm in his voice. “I bet I could tell how you’re feeling no matter how much you tried to hide it.” Not that Phen was any better – he could never really hide how he felt, he was an open book. He just didn’t get annoyed at people that much anymore. “’Course I’m laughing at you, funny-face,” he giggled, smiling into the short kiss and chasing after it for a couple more. Sorry, other people eating – he was in full-on affection mode. Phoenix nestled himself against his lover and tucked his head under Oriel’s chin, just enjoying the feel of him until their food arrived. “I’m probably gonna get a food belly after this,” he mumbled.

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Oriel nodded. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make the same promise, that it wouldn’t happen again. The drinking definitely wouldn’t, but that wasn’t the issue. It just made the issue easier to see, and harder to hold back. Oriel wasn’t stupid and he knew himself very well, at least in that area. “I don’t want it to happen again…” That was the most he could say. “Maybe, I don’t know….that whole fucking “progress” clause is what’s going to hold me up, no doubt.” It was still a bullshit standard, he thought. How the fuck were you supposed to gauge progress? Especially when you didn’t know if you were making it or not? And when you always felt like you were struggling just to take a couple steps forward.

“Yeah…actually, I’m surprised he even did that much, get your clothes ‘n all.” Was Oriel envious? Not at all! “You’d think he’d want to keep you as far away from me as possible.” Or any other guy. Maybe he was coming around? (hint: he wasn’t.)

Triggers. Setbacks. Phoenix was making excuses for Oriel and Oriel wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Even if it was true, Oriel didn’t like making excuses. Well…he did, but he’d rather somebody not make them for him. And now that he thought of it, Oriel still hadn’t told Phoenix about the whole “brother-family” thing. He should probably tell him… “There’s always going to be setbacks…and triggers…the problem is I don’t know how to fucking deal with my own shit.” At least he was being honest enough to admit what the problem was instead of avoiding it like he used to. That could be considered progress, right?

Oriel’s smile turned into a sneaky one as Phoenix curbed around the table to sit next to him instead of across. Yeah, Oriel preferred it like this too. They wouldn’t get in trouble, nope. “I might just have to take you up on that,” he returned. Oriel growled lowly and brushed his tongue over his teeth in his usual seductive way.

“Oh, really?” Oriel raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you should be filling out that mood-chart shit for me.” He snorted. “You know, they want me to report how I’m feeling practically every hour of the day for the next…fuck, like a month or something.” It was annoying because Oriel was actually pretty bad at figuring out what to put on it. “Hey!” he protested when Phoenix fished for more kisses. “Don’t be selfish.” And out came his tongue again. Oriel wrapped his arm around Phoenix as he leaned in and gave him one more kiss on the top of his head. “You mean a food-baby.” He liked that term better. “Just the way I like you.” If only he could have Phoenix for dessert. What a treat that would be.

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Phoenix should have had some doubts, he really should have, but... In his childish, easily distracted mind, he'd practically already forgotten just why they were separated in the first place. It was easy for him to pretend it had all just been a bad dream. "I'm sure you're doin' great," he murmured, squeezing the younger boy's hand. "All that matters is that... You're doin' the best you can." Because what more could they expect?

"Yeah.... Me too," Phoenix replied honestly. "Apart from the... The homophobia and stuff, I think he's okay." He said this quietly, uncertainly. He really didn't know Derek well enough yet to be a good judge of character. ".... He lets me drink whiskey."

So Phoenix was making excuses for Oriel, but... But he didn't care!! Why couldn't anyone see that and just let him do what he wanted? He listened with a soft expression as the younger boy spoke his worries, and once again brought Oriel's hand to his lips. "I know... I know it ain't always gonna be easy, but I'm always gonna be here t'help you with all that," he promised quietly. "And I'll do whatever I can t'make it easier for you."

"Careful tiger, I might end up losin' what little self-control I have if you keep that up," he teased as Oriel licked his teeth. Phoenix snuck in for a quick, invasive kiss that had him giggling afterwards. "Maybe I should," he agreed with a raised eyebrow. "Especially if it meant I could be around you all the time again." What Oriel had to do sounded like it sucked, and Phoenix wished he didn't have to, but... If it helped, he supposed it was worth it. "But I wanna be selfish," he whined, giving Oriel's neck a tiny nip. "Baby, belly... You knew what I meant." Phen rolled his eyes, but he was grinning a little. "Too bad you don't have anythin' t'tie me down with here," he pretended to sigh. "Guess I'll have to just feed myself." After a bit longer, their food arrived, and Phoenix dug in, keeping one hand on Oriel's thigh that gradually crawled up higher and higher under the table. "S'pretty good," he mumbled around a mouthful of food. "Not as good as your stuff, though."

[Deleted]

“Yeah…” But what if his best wasn’t good enough? That was always something that Oriel feared whenever he tried to do something. A lot of people didn’t care about trying or “doing your best”, they only cared about results, and good ones at that. If you weren’t perfect, then it didn’t matter how much progress you made.

“He hasn’t said nothing to you ‘bout that yet?” If this guy really was such a homophobe, Oriel wondered how he might respond to seeing Oriel prancing around in fishnets…not that he’d tried that…yet. “Whiskey?” Oriel chuckled. “Fuck, is he promoting underage drinking or something?” He wasn’t sure what to think about that…maybe that this guy was alright…if he wasn’t such a dick. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see….fuck, I’m still worried though.” Oriel shook his head and took a breath. Of course he was worried. Any time Phoenix was out of his sights, he was worried. The fact that he was being taken care of by someone like family was some consolation, but since it was a guy like that, there was just a cluster of different worries to go along with it. “If he does anything shady,” Oriel started to warn his lover. “Or you think he’s going to, you get out of there and come straight to the school, alright? Come to me, or fuck, go to the doc if you think that’s going to be a problem. Alright?”

Oriel nodded, taking in Phoenix’s reassurances and trying to draw comfort from them, to keep his own worries at bay. “Thank you…” he said softly. Oriel wanted to just wrap himself around his lover and stay like that forever…but the rest of the night was going to have to do. But enough about him… “How’s…how are you doing?” he asked. “They put you on some shit too, right? Is it helping at all?” Even if it didn’t help Oriel, if it helped Phoenix, then he would think it was worthwhile, at least a little.

“Self control?” Oriel questioned with a smirk. “You have that? Where?” He puckered his lips to meet with Phoenix’s as he came in for a quick kiss. “Wonder who we have to ask to get that arranged?” Probably Sean…and he’d probably deny it. Jerk. “Do I?” he asked, sliding his hand down over Phoenix’s flat tummy. Oriel leaned in to whisper in his ear. “You know you drive me crazy? That short hair of yours…the suit…and then knowing you’re going to make yourself plump and fat just for me…?” Oriel would take him right there at the table if he could. “Feed yourself? You sure you can handle that?” he teased. Oriel laughed, clearly not quite as annoyed with the food coming as he was when they were ordering it. It looked good. He grinned, feeling Phoenix’s hand creeping dangerously close to his nether regions. “If you give me a sec, I can get you a to-go box.” Oriel licked his lips, then turned to his meal and started feasting.