Five Hundred Twenty Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

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Dated on October 25, 2014

“You like that?” Oriel asked of Phoenix, his large hand clasped over Phoenix’s thin fingers, their arms swinging as they slowly walked up the road leading up to the school. He’d taken the two out to one of the mom ‘n pop Korean places. Great food. Cheap. Not that he was trying to be cheap or anything. Oriel just wanted to give Phoenix a taste of his favorites. He’d have cooked it himself, but…it just seemed more right to take the other boy out on a real and proper date. One where they had to sit down, be waited on, and have nothing else to think about but the person sitting in front of them.

Oriel’s “stalker” had the honors of carting back their leftovers from the meal, the big woman trailing behind them at a reasonable distance. Close enough to keep an eye on them, but still far enough away to grant them some privacy.

It was well after twilight. With the days getting colder, so did they get shorter, so it could still be considered early evening. Oriel once again stole a jacket, a nice one, from the costume closet and wore it over something simple. Just a plain grey shirt. It looked nice enough, but not so much that he felt strangled by it. If he could have topped it off with some splash of something, maybe a necklace or something, he would have. But all of Oriel’s money this evening went towards Phoenix. For the dinner. And for his special gift that was still set in his inner coat pocket.

At least his hair was gorgeous. As usual.

Oriel looked up to the night sky, watching as each star started to come into view as they walked further from the small town of Pilot Ridge. “You warm enough?” he asked Phoenix, turning to his lover.

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"Mmmm... Mhmm," Phoenix hummed contentedly, gazing heavy-lidded up at the taller boy. "It was really good. We should go there again sometime." His palate had slowly been changing to how it had been when he was younger, when his mom would either cook or bring home meals from one of the many Asian restaurants she'd worked during his life there. The fact that Oriel was willing to take him to such places, and even make the pixie similar meals when he could, meant the world to Phoenix.

Although really, just being able to spend the time together like this meant more than anything to the older boy. Given how little they'd been allowed to see each other lately, Phoenix was soaking in every minute and trying his best to commit them to memory so he could look back on them when they had to be apart again.

The supervisor still made him nervous, but Phoenix was too distracted to really think about her. Oriel was all that mattered.

He was wearing something else his dad had picked out, something more 'casual' than what he'd worn to their date to Honest Abe's, but still nice. Whatever that all meant. The collar was a little scratchy, though, and Phen kept fussing with it.

Like he was doing now, as they walked towards Hammel. His fingers were hooked inside the shirt and one of his eyes was squinted shut as he looked up at his lover when he spoke. "Mmm... I'm a little chilly, but I'll make it," Phoenix determined, shuffling a little closer to the long-haired boy. "I'll just steal a little bit of your body heat." He let out a little giggle before it died off and he was quiet for a few moments. "So... Am I allowed t'see you more after we get t'Hammel, or...?" Phoenix didn't want to be alone again just yet. "I wanna spend the night..." His lower lip pouted out in typical Phen fashion.

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Oriel smiled, glad to see Phoenix look so content. He had to treasure these days while he could, the short time they had together, until they were finally allowed the freedom do so without someone constantly looking over their shoulder. And without the heavy cloud that’d been looming over their relationship overall for the past several months.

Oriel was doing better. Not the best, but arguably better. He liked to think that keeping himself so occupied had a lot to do with it. And he was glad for that, because the better he became, the sooner they could be together permanently. And the better Phoenix seemed to be as well.

Phoenix really looked good. Oriel was glad to see him eat so much. It wasn’t a grand amount, but more than he had even during their “first date” since their separation. He was also glad that, for whatever reason, Phoenix’s father hadn’t decided to protest their relationship lately. Because Phoenix didn’t need that from him right now. Right now, he needed to be in a place where he was comfortable, a low stress environment where he could take care of and concentrate on himself.

“Alright,” he said, smiling. Oriel wrapped his arm around Phoenix as he nuzzled in closer to the younger boy. He turned his head in and kissed his temple. “I’d say that that’s all the more reason why you got to put on some pounds, but…” Oriel huffed a laugh. “Then I wouldn’t be able to cuddle you like this no more.” He stuck out his tongue. “It’d be too hot, and sweaty, and sticky…I don’t know if I’d like that.” Oriel was only joking, of course. Oriel slowed their pace so they could walk like that a few moments more. When Phoenix spoke again, Oriel sighed. “Don’t know….I wan’t you too,” he said lowly. “I don’t want to let you go…I’m not going to let you go…” That last part was spoken at a whisper, right in Phoenix’s ear. Another kiss met the boy’s temple, and they continued walking. The front gate of the school was just up ahead.

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These times they were allowed to see each other made a world of difference to Phoenix. It wasn't nearly as much as he wanted, but given they hadn't been able to see each other at all for a long time, this felt like a blessing. The meds were probably helping keep his mind calmer as well; the last really bad fit he'd had was at the date when Rue had come up, although he did get anxiety still. Especially since... Well, Rue was around, and if Phoenix bumped into him...

He didn't want to think about that.

"Oh, that kimchi was really good, but not as good as yours," Phen announced like the good boyfriend that he was. Okay, it was a little bit of a lie - those guys had a lot more experience, so the stuff was bound to be good - but Phoenix knew Oriel liked praise. "The bibimbap was delicious too." He smiled and mumbled out a few broken Korean sentences to himself; between Jin-hwan and his father, Phoenix was trying to become more fluent in (one of) his ancestral tongues.

He gave a happy little squee as Oriel pulled him in, his eyes crinkling with merriment. He did have to admit, being apart so much did make the time they had feel more special and precious; he was taking that less for granted now. "I try t'put on weight, but it never happens, you know that," he pouted, holding a hand against his tummy (which was currently taut with nummies). "Oh, you know you'd cuddle me anyway," he teased right back. "You can't get enough of this~" He did an impromptu little booty-shake as they walked (which almost made him trip). He clung onto Oriel more tightly, especially when he leaned down and started murmuring to him, making goosebumps raise on Phoenix's arms. "Good," he murmured back, nuzzling his nose against the boy's cheek. "Maybe we can ditch the lady when we get past the gates..." Phen risked a peek back and saw their supervisor eyeing them suspiciously, so he quickly and guiltily looked forward again. "... Or not," he determined. ".... Maybe she'll give us enough time for a quick round...?" he asked with a waver in his voice.

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Oriel was more or less on the same page as Phoenix. He hadn’t had a “freak out” since….well, his last bad one was that first time he and Phoenix met for a date and there was that whole Rue issue. Which Oriel still didn’t know what to think about. He’d had a lot of close calls, though. Oriel had to be reminded that the fact that they were “close calls” was actually a good thing. That the expectation wasn’t for him to never get upset or anxious or angry…but was for him to keep himself from acting irrationally and impulsively on it. He had to keep telling himself that…even though he instinctively felt that he’d failed completely if he let anything get to him ever.

Oriel tightened his embrace around Phoenix, thinking about it. Just doing that much seemed to well up feelings he didn’t want to act on. It sucked, being so easily riled up all the time.

“I’ll make it for you next time,” he promised. “Or maybe I’ll…” Oriel shrugged, hesitating for a moment. “Maybe I can visit you ’n your dad and make it for the both of you?” And get a better idea of what was going through that man’s head. Find out exactly where he stood on their relationship.

“You need more sugar and danishes in your diet,” Oriel declared. “I can have that arranged.” Though Oriel himself hadn’t been eating those as often lately. Or maybe not at all. Oriel rested his free hand over Phoenix’s that was hovering over his belly. “I’m going to fill you up, stuff you, until you’re ten times as sexy.” Though Phoenix was already plenty sexy just the way he was. Oriel snickered as Phoenix looked back to the security guard that was following them…and had been following Oriel whenever he went off campus for some time now. “Aw, she ain’t so bad. Actually, I kind of like her.” Oriel too looked over his shoulder. “I’d like her even more if she weren’t such a fucking voyeur,” he said, making no effort to lower the volume of his voice. Oriel shrugged a shoulder. “Meh, I doubt it,” he grumbled slightly. “Guess it’s sexting for us again tonight.” Which was fine, but…just not the same. Nowhere near, actually.

“Hey,” Oriel said as they crossed through the gate, turning around to take both of Phoenix’s hands. “I got one more thing for you tonight ‘fore we call it quits, alright? C’mon.” Oriel tugged Phoenix along, guiding him across the parking lot towards the courtyard and in the direction of the pond.

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Phoenix beamed at the offer. "Will you?" he asked excitedly. "I'll help if you want! And I'll, um, not put in loads of spicy stuff this time." He still wasn't the best of cooks (putting it lightly), so any 'help' he gave likely would just end up making more work for Oriel. But... It was fun to do it together. At the suggestion of visiting his dad, Phen's smile faltered a little. "Well... You should meet him eventually..." He slowly agreed. "And... I think he'd be impressed with your cookin' if nothin' else." It was something Phoenix himself couldn't do, after all. Shame on him.

"Uh-huh... 'Cause that sounds healthy," he teased, bumping his hip into Oriel's. "I still think I should just build up some muscle mass and get all ripped and stuff." He puffed out his chest, but it deflated when Oriel's hand rested over his. "But... I'm so sexy already, you might be overwhelmed from ten times as much," he protested, barely holding back his giggles. He looped his arm with Oriel's and shuddered a bit as he spoke about the large woman. "She kinda scares me," he admitted sheepishly. She reminded him of a burly girl in a gang he'd met a couple times in Seattle that always bullied him around. Phoenix winced when Oriel spoke so loudly, but said nothing more. "... Aww..." he whined. "But I've been so thirsty for your..." He trailed off, blushing madly. ".... I'll live." Maybe.

He blinked as Oriel announced that their evening wasn't quite over yet. "O-oh," he stammered, surprised. Phen looked up with wide, innocent eyes full of childish curiosity. "Oh, is this the thing you said you bought me!?" he asked excitedly as he remembered. He followed giddily after, quickly realizing where they were heading; he broke into a jog and stumbled towards the water, plopping down and curling up against the base of their tree. "Should I close my eyes?" he asked, slapping his hands over his face before Oriel could answer. He was smiling like an idiot.

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 “’This time’ he says,” Oriel repeated, mocking his Korean chef.  Phoenix was lucky that Oriel didn’t mind spicy things.  Anyone else would have had their tongue burned off.  “You think that all it’ll take to impress him? I feel like…fuck, like I’d have to solve world hunger to get that guy to crack a smile in my direction.  Luckily, that’s on my list of things to do once I become the Supreme Evil Overlord.”  Oriel chuckled.
 
“Been working for me, hasn’t it?” Oriel cocked an eyebrow down at Phoenix, his smile twisting suggestively.  “That. You. Are,” he agreed, leaning  in for the millionth kiss of the night. “Unbearably so. How did I get so lucky to snag such a sexy man as you?”  

Oriel ruffled Phoenix’s hair affectionately, laughing to himself. “Nah, she ain’t nothing. Though,” he continued, grinning like mad at the idea. “Makes me kind of feel like a young boss or something. Like a mafia kid, and Big Momma back there is my bodyguard, ready to toss her lumps right in front of a bullet for me.” A gruesome thought, actually, but everything else just fueled his recovering ego.

“For my….?” Oriel teased. “C’mon….you can tell me.” Seriously, though, if it weren’t for his shadow, Oriel would probably be dragging Phoenix into the woods right now for a few “outdoor activities”.

Going to the pond would have to be enough. No, it would enough. Oriel was sure Phoenix would agree once he brought it out. “Maybe,” he said, not-so-vaguely, sending Phoenix a wink. Oriel didn’t scramble quite so fast to their tree, instead enjoying the scene of Phoenix running around excited like a kid. Oriel hadn’t seen him like this in so long, he wanted to savor every moment. “You’re excited,” he observed with a grin that wouldn’t cease. “You don’t got to. And there ain’t no need to rush.” Oriel knelt down beside Phoenix and pulled him into his side. “Let’s just enjoy this, alright?” He kissed Phoenix on the nose. “I want to savor this…you.” He drank Phoenix into another, longer, more delicious kiss.

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Unlike Oriel, Phoenix still had a fairly mild palate, so it had taken a lot of time, water, and several tears spilling down his cheeks before the spiciness had left the pixie's mouth. He learned his lesson. "Well... Honestly, I don't really know anythin' that'd impress him," Phoenix admitted softly. "I think... I think he'd admire traits that show you can take care of yourself, though." And me, Phen added to himself. "And well... I'm already a disappointment in every sense of that, so hell, he'd probably like you more than he likes me." He was trying to be optimistic... Sort of.

"Well... You just have sexy genes or somethin'. You can do anythin' and eat anythin' and still be hot as fuck." It wasn't fair! Phoenix hadn't tried to be a skinny little twig-boy with the body of a tall ten-year-old. "Aw.... It takes one t'know one, I guess," he mumbled, giggling into the kiss. "Or... T'snag one, apparently."

Phoenix tried to wrap his head around the imagery that Oriel was giving him, and decided he didn't like it. "... Okay, you can imagine whatever you like," he finally said with a small laugh. "I'll just keep bein' the little scaredy-cat who hides in the bushes from said body guard."

His face turned red. "Uhh... For your... D...anishes," he said slowly. "A huge one, inside my mouth, with that... Really good... Raspberry filling." Yeah. That had totally been what he was thinking about.

Phoenix waited impatiently for his Squishy to join him by the tree, practically squirming in excitement. "I can't believe it's been over a year since you fell on me here," he sighed in nostalgia. "Still think it's a miracle you didn't break my back." That might have ruined some of the fondness he held for the memory. "I'm pretty sure you hated me for a while..." And Phen had felt the same, for a bit. It was weird how things changed. "Of course I'm excited! I have you, and you have presents, so I'm doubly happy!" He giggled again, curling up against the younger boy's side as he settled down next to him. "Mmm... I can be patient," he hummed, letting himself melt into the kiss. It lasted for a good long while before they finally split, and Phen, cheeks flushed, looked down at his lap. "So... Um...." He fidgeted, completely blind to what was going to happen soon. "... I'm pregnant?" Phoenix smiled at the old joke, while also smacking himself for being so dumb.

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“I doubt it,” Oriel said. “I got a feeling he’d make nice just long enough to lure me into the woods where I’d get shot in the spine from a “hunting accident.” Wasn’t that the plot of a soap opera somewhere?

“Really? So you’ll still think I’m hot when I’m old and grey and got a potbelly out to here?” Oriel held his arms out in a circle to demonstrate, waddling his steps to account for the extra “weight”. He turned and snagged his “hot lover” in his arms again, squeezing him into a hug. Oriel was stupidly affectionate tonight. And with good reason. He was giddy, nervous, excited, and everything else in between. “Fine, I’m sure she understands. Maybe.” There was honestly nothing scary about the woman, especially once you got her talking. Boy could that woman talk.

“Mmm….raspberry filled….I wonder if we could market that?” Oriel pondered, stroking the stubble on his chin, deep in thought. Actually, he could probably find something like that online. Raspberry filled “thingies”. Yum.

“Well…I was a lot skinnier then,” Oriel mused, shifting to hold Phoenix from behind. He rounded his leg to Phoenix’s other side, then pulled the thin boy closer into his lap, wrapping his arms around the pixie’s waist. Oriel nuzzled his face into Phoenix’s neck. Then he blasted a sharp puff of expelled air right into Phoenix’s shoulder as the older boy made a joke that was a lot more relevant than he thought. “You know what today is?” he asked, arching his head to look Phoenix in the eye.

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Phoenix shuddered at those thoughts. "Don't say that," he whined. "That's it, I'm never lettin' you two be alone together, one of you is gonna end up hurtin' the other and I'm gonna cry." Maybe a miracle could happen and Derek might like Oriel. Somehow.

Phoenix grinned and nodded cheerily. "Yup. 'Cause you'll still be my one and only Squishy, and no one is sexier than my Squishy ever, even if you get as wrinkly as a raisin." He giggled and squealed as Oriel snatched him up and hugged him, uncaring if they got weird looks from random passers-by. "Orielll~!" he squeed. Whether Oriel's excitement was infectious or Phoenix was just excited in general too, the both of them probably seemed like love-drunk fools stumbling towards the pond.

Phoenix's eyes fell to the stubble that Oriel was itching on his chin, and he leaned in and nuzzled his cheek against the scratchy skin. "Maybe we could," he agreed, chuckling at the idea. "But I'm perfectly fine with your... Filling." His cheeks turned pink and he giggled again. "Oreo."

He thought back to that day and remembered how much younger and more boyish Oriel had seemed. "You're a man now," he said, rather matter-of-factly. "Well... Almost, I guess." He adjusted himself so he could snuggle back against his taller, broader lover, tucking the side of his head against Oriel's. "You've got the body of one, at least. And it's fuckin' hot." The hot air against his neck made him squeak again (he was full of non-manly noises tonight), and he looked back at Oriel as he asked the question. Phoenix pondered this, his sluggish memory slowly bringing that day back. "That was.... It was a year ago when I told you I loved you for the first time," he said slowly, feeling a wave of nostalgia roll over him. "Right?" He smiled as he recalled it. "I can't believe it's been that long..." His arms moved to settle over Oriel's, and he relaxed more loosely back against the younger boy, letting out a soft, content sigh. "Not too much longer 'til we made this whole thing official." Phoenix did remember the first time Oriel had said he loved him back... It had been when he'd been doped up on meds in the hospital after Erik bit him. "Mmm... Best year of my life," he added softly, tilting his head back a little to press his lips to Oriel's. "And the... The first of many more, I'm sure."

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“Well shit. What’re you going to do when I’m old enough to bust a hip from our happy-fun-times?” Oriel was enjoying this subject of talking about the future. As if it were completely natural that in 30, 40, 50 years the two of them would still be as madly in love with each other as they were tonight. That’s how you knew he was the one, right?

Of course it was. Oriel’d been thinking about this a long time, ever since they went on their very first “for realz” date to the aquarium. Though it was only recently that he started getting the drive to actually go through with it. He really was doing better.

“With a sweet, creamy center,” Oriel remarked, leering down at his perverted lover. Oriel wondered just how far he could take the conversation before Phoenix got too worked up to properly hide “himself”. The boy was so easily excited. Oriel loved teasing Phoenix for that.

Oriel leaned up against the tree, holding Phoenix there between his spread legs and watching the still water as he thought about those days from last year. He snickered at the noises Phoenix made, holding back the urge to continue making him squeal in delight. “And you thought I was asleep,” he said in a low voice, right beside Phoenix’s ear. He hummed at the memory, feeling a shiver of nostalgia creep pleasantly through him. “…I’m surprised you remembered that. To the day.” Phoenix usually had such a poor memory. That only proved to Oriel just how significant those days were to him. “I had a hard time figuring out which would work best for our anniversary. There was the time we met.” Which was filled with a mix of hate, amusement, and carnal desires. “Then when we became “official”.” Though it had taken Oriel some time(and a lot of drugs while in the hospital) to finally admit what he felt for the other boy. “And that one probably would’ve worked better, but….fuck me, I’m impatient.” He tightened his hold around the thin boy in his arms as they met their lips again. “Mmmhmm…that’s my intention,” he said not-so-subtly.

Oriel reached into his coat pocket and brought out the tiny, suede box. He held it between both hands in front of Phoenix and slowly opened the lid to reveal the ring set regally inside. Oriel felt his face burn a hot red and he buried most of his face into Phoenix’s shoulder, keeping his eyes out to gauge his lover’s reaction. “Uh…” he uttered with all the grace in the world. “This is….this is exactly what it looks like.” And down went his face again.

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"What am I gonna go?" Phoenix asked with a raised brow. "I'm the weak, fragile one, I'll prob'ly need t'have grandpa-soft sex when I'm like, forty." Even with that image in mind, he couldn't stop grinning. They'd figure it all out, one way or another.

"Mmmm.... Mhmmm..." he replied, lips pressed firmly together. Oriel did need to stop that before Phoenix got too worked up, especially since they couldn't really... Do anything. And that frustrated him to no end.

Phoenix smiled and ran his fingers lightly up and down Oriel's arms, just enjoying the warmth they shared there in the cool night. He'd completely forgotten about their supervisor; she must have been willing to give them a bit of time to themselves. "I did," he agreed indignantly. "You didn't say anythin'! How was I supposed t'know?" He wasn't angry, of course, because he was still smiling like a fool, but boy had he felt dumb. "Mmmm... Of course I remembered it," he murmured. It was true, he didn't remember much, but when it came to Oriel... Anyway, the younger boy was saying something about their anniversary, and Phen looked back at him curiously, wondering what it was that he was getting at. "Worked better for what?" he asked obliviously. Phen had absolutely no idea what was coming. "Oriel...?"

When their lips parted, Phoenix's eyes followed after where the boy's hands were going, and widened at the sight of the little box. "You got me jewelry?" he asked dumbly. Yep, he was a slow one. When Oriel finally showed him the ring, the pixie stared blankly at it, not quite getting it at first. It was only when Oriel spoke that it dawned on him. He gawked. Phoenix's body was frozen in shock, completely stunned at the little object being held before him, so innocently simple for all that it symbolized.

"Y-y-you...!?!?!" he stammered, finally breaking his shocked silence. "You... You're goin' to... You wanna...??" Phoenix couldn't say it; even though he was positive that that was what this was, he couldn't get the words past his lips. He wanted to hear them from Oriel. "Oriel!!!" he squealed, heart hammering and head spinning. Phen felt a bit faint.

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Now that was an image. A couple of 40 year olds breaking hips, straining things, and needing breaks because they were still trying to romp around like a couple of teenagers. Thing was, Oriel could see himself still trying at that age. He didn’t think he could ever get sick of it. Not even the little things, like teasing his boyfriend until he burst right there in his pants.

Oriel shook with amusement, snickering to himself at Phoenix and his “indigence”. “Fuck…what was I supposed to say? I was….” Oriel was terrified that anything and everything he did was going to make Phoenix leave him. Maybe even if he revealed that he’d heard the older boy whisper those words into his back, that he’d immediately take them back. Oriel wasn’t even sure of his own feeling then either. He didn’t know how to process anything that was happening during that time, it was all so chaotic. Oriel was surprised he hadn’t snapped against phoenix then instead of nearly nine months later, when he was supposed to be doing better…

Ugh…that was too depressing to thing about. Oriel pushed it from his mind and refocused on the person sitting snugly in his lap.

He had to stifle a laugh, which ended up as another puff of air into the pixie’s shoulder, at how long it was taking Phoenix to figure out what was going on. Was it really so unlikely? Hadn’t Phoenix seen this in movies enough before to be able to recognize it(probably not)? The fact that Oriel had to say anything at all before Phoenix got the hint only made Oriel want to bury his head even more. HIs insides were fluttering with giddiness and it was taking everything he had to keep himself contained.

He wanted to say it. He didn’t want to say it. He wanted Phoenix to just figure it out so he didn’t have to say it. But all at the same time, he wanted to announce it to the world and run parades up and down the street. “Mmmm…!” He smiled into Phoenix’s shoulder, a noise of excitement squeaking from the back of his throat. “….I wanna.” Oriel tightened himself around his lover even more, as he tried to work up the nerve to actually post the question itself properly. “So…what do you think…?”

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"I don't know! Anything!" Phoenix said with a small laugh himself. He'd been embarrassed at the time he'd found out that Oriel had heard him and not said anything, but looking back, it mostly just amused him, since they were both completely infatuated with the other, and they both knew it. "But it's okay. I forgive you." Phen smiled sweetly and twisted around to smooch the boy quickly on the corner of his mouth. "Even for sayin' you loved me for the first time when you were doped up on who-knows what." It was just silly to look back at now, although the reason for Oriel being in the hospital in the first place was still a sore one.

But he wasn't thinking about any of that now. Well, he wasn't thinking about anything, really. Phoenix's mind had gone into overdrive, sputtering and trying to catch up with what was happening. And when it did finally catch up, it came with that outburst that he couldn't control.

Now he was just... Phoenix was waiting for Oriel to say the word. Surely his theater-loving boyfriend wanted to say something grand and wordy, right? (No, of course not, Oriel was nearly as bad with words as Phen was). So Phoenix just squirmed in the boy's lap, squeeing and hyperventilating and wondering if he was having a dream. Could real life be this sweet, after all that had happened? "You wanna what!?" he demanded, refusing to give a concrete answer until Oriel finally spit out the question. He was smiling so hard, it hurt his cheeks. "I think you need t'ask me what you wanna ask me, Squishy!" It was probably a good thing he was sitting down, because the excitement really was making his head spin.

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Oriel accepted the smooch. “Yeahhh…” Oriel agreed with his lover a somewhat sheepish annoyance. “Whatever the fuck that shit was…just kind of…broke down my walls or something, I don’t know.” He barely remembered that day, but he remembered hearing about it and he remembered feeling very…light. “I don’t know how much longer it’d’ve taken me without it though, so…I’m glad for it.

It was true. Oriel was good with words when he was being flamboyant, histrionic and overdramatic, but when it came to talking about things seriously, he suddenly clammed up and refused to say anything. He’d give away as little as possible, nothing at all if he could. Because he knew that if he let himself, Oriel would never shut up. And it end up being an endless, long drone of whatever it was on his mind, whether good or bad, and Oriel had long ago convinced himself that nobody really cared what it was he thought. So, if they weren’t going to care anyway, then just give them something he was fine with them not caring about. It was pure habit now. He knew that there were people who would listen now, but he still bottled things up, over and over again. It was something that he needed to work on.

Surprisingly, it was that stupid anger management class that pointed out that habit of his. See? He did learn things from that dumb class!

Which was why he was working very hard to actually get the words out right now. Every time he thought he was going to open his mouth and say it, instead he didn’t. And then kicked himself for being such a wuss. Phoenix’s urgings were both supportive and terrifying. He wanted to give Phoenix what he was asking for, but….shhiiiiit. “Want to….mmmm….” Why was this so hard. He buried his face one last time as he mumbled into Phoenix’s shirt. ”…marry me, please…?”

Phoenix’s head spinning might’ve just been from the lack of oxygen from Oriel’s tightening grip around him.