Time Warp: Can You Come Over? (Kai)

[Deleted]

September 2, 2014

Zachary Bishop had finally gotten the twins out of his room and into their own beds, reassuring them that he was fine. That Lany was fine. That they would all be...fine. He was fine.

He was okay.

Zach took a deep breath and raised his face into the light on the ceiling of his room. He sat on the edge of his bed, just a full-sized mattress laying on the floor because he was too lazy to put the frame together. The room itself was littered with empty soda cans, half finished bags of chips and cookies...the only thing it lacked was the usual mess of dirty clothes. Aura must have come by sometime during the day to do laundry. He'd probably find a stack of freshly cleaned clothes on his bed by the end of the day tomorrow....or rather later today...if not the next day.

He took another breath. He needed to sleep. It'd been long day and an even longer night, and he and Lany were expected to go down to the station in the morning to finish with their statements. It was such a....such a convoluted mess...

He was okay...he was....

Zach reached for his cell phone and put Kai's number on the screen. He stared at it until the light from the screen went dark. Then he illuminated it again. Several times he did this before finally forcing his finger to press the green 'call' button and putting the phone to his ear. He leaned forward, resting his arms against his knees, while he waited for the younger man to pick up....

He might not though, Zach reminded himself. It was ridiculously late. So late it could be called early. Still....if there was no answer, then Zach would just try again. And again.

[Malachai Roen]

Kai still wasn’t quite sure how things were going with Zach. They were seeing each other again to some extent – thank god – but he still just… Didn’t know how to label what it was. And maybe that was okay? Maybe… He didn’t know anymore…

Anyway, he had other things occupying his thoughts too. Mostly occupational stuff, like what to do now that his thesis was finished, and he could take a bit of time off before he decided to go into grad school or not while he worked. It was pretty stressful, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He hoped.

It did make him lose some sleep, though, and he was just getting to bed when his phone rang. Kai might have ignored it, if he hadn’t set the tone different than the others for one specific person. Zach. Without hesitation, he reached over and snagged it from his bedside table, sitting up as a wave of concern hit him. Why was he calling so late?

“Zach?” he asked as soon as he answered. “Why are you calling so late? What’s wrong?” He didn’t sound irritated, only worried. Kai stood up from his bed and paced a few steps, dressed in his boxers with his hair in disarray. Unknowing to him, he’d be flying out the door in a few minutes.

[Deleted]

Zach didn’t expect Kai to pick up on the first try. Actually, he hardly expected Kai to pick up at all, not until after several times calling. It was so later, after all, that guy must have been asleep. Or up late working on something so hard he can’t hear his phone. Zach prayed that neither was the case.

When he finally answered….he almost couldn’t work up the strength to speak. What was he supposed to say?

“Kai….” His voice was quiet. Stale. There was a long pause before he spoke again. “….can you come over?” That sounded so selfish. To ask him that without any explanation. Zach wasn’t even sure he knew how to explain, despite having to do that for the past several hours already. “Something happened tonight and….can you just come over?” For some reason, Zach felt strange explaining it to him over the phone. “Please?”

[Malachai Roen]

Normally, Kai might have made fun of Zach for calling, or at least teased him a little. Because he enjoyed the effect he had on the older man, and it was in his nature to tease like that. But that would be if it was during some sort of decent hour, and without Zach sounding so... So much like he was right now. Quiet. Shaken up? Kai's worry increased dramatically as soon as the writer spoke up.

"What's wrong?" he asked again, a little louder. But Zach seemed not to want to talk about whatever it was... Which just made him worry even more. What the hell had happened that he wanted to see Kai in person about? Had he done something wrong again, something that was going to make Zach not want to see him anymore? "Yeah... Y-yeah, I'll be over as soon as I can."

He hung up the phone and barely took the time to pull on a pair of sweatpants as he practically bolted out of his front door. He nearly forgot to lock it, too. Before too long he was in his car, going way over the speed limit as he headed towards the Bishop house. It was early in the morning, no one was on the roads anyway, so it didn't matter. Within twenty minutes, he was rushing out of his car towards the front door, heart pounding with anxiety from all the possibilities he'd thought up on the way over.

He nearly missed the fact that Zach was already outside waiting for him; he froze in his tracks when he caught sight of the older man, not sure if he should rush over and hold him, or keep his distance. "W... Well, here I am," he stammered.

[Deleted]

What was he doing? Disturbing Kai like this in the middle of the night? Zach felt a wave of shame wash over him when Kai started inquiring about his call. Zach could take care of himself. He had to take care of his little sister first, and make sure she was all right. He had to show JJ and Katy and Savvy, and every one else that he was okay so they wouldn’t worry. So the younger ones wouldn’t be scared. If he wasn’t okay, then how could they be? If he broke down, then….then they would too….

It’s nothing, Zach could feel himself wanting to say. You don’t have to come. Go back to sleep, we’ll talk about it later. I’m fine. That was the right answer. That’s what he should say. That’s what he should say…

“Okay,” he muttered into the receiver. Zach kept the phone to his ear a few seconds longer after Kai finally hung up. How quickly would it take Kai to get here? It was about a 45 minute drive from the university to Pilot Ridge, 30 minutes if you were speeding. What was he going to do until then?

It was after about 15 minutes of vacant pondering that Zach realized that…Kai was coming over! To his house! In the middle of the night! When everyone else was sleeping! Having Kai ring the bell or knock on the front door in the middle of the night was like….well, it would wake up everyone else, and he didn’t want that either. So, he put on a jacket, slipped into a pair of slippers, and snuck downstairs as quietly as he could, then out the door, closing it silently behind him.

Zach waited on the curbside, huddled over himself, warming his hands with his breath, as he waited for Kai to arrive. He didn’t expect it to be so soon…but the moment he saw the younger man’s car, he stood up, feeling his heart beating against his chest, and watching Kai scramble in the exact opposite direction from where the writer was sitting; towards the house, of course. “Kai….” he said when the other man finally noticed him. Zach wanted to smile, but he could only slowly step toward the other man, clinging to him tight when he was finally close enough. “Thank god you’re here,” he breathed into Kai’s chest. Already the other man’s presence was making Zach feel so much lighter. He held onto him as if he would fall should he let go.

[Malachai Roen]

Kai didn’t even stop to think that him coming over in the middle of the night in nothing but a pair of old sweatpants might be hard to explain if someone other than Zach saw him. Dammit, why didn’t he still live closer? Kai grit his teeth as he drove, already thinking about how he might convince Zach to move closer again so he didn’t have to deal with this drive. Or even better, if he just lived with Kai…

Anyway, Kai stared dumbly at Zach for another moment or two, heart hammering from worry, nerves, and the adrenaline rush of going way over the speed limit. It was cold out, especially against his bare torso, but he hardly noticed it over his anxiety. “Zach…?” he murmured, and before he knew what was happening, the older man’s arms were around him and holding on like his life depended on it. Bewildered, it took Kai a moment to respond and embrace the writer in return. “Y-yeah, I’m here,” he mumbled, not sure what to say. He had so many questions. “Zach, what happened? What’s wrong? Why are you like this?”

Obviously it hadn’t been something Kai had done himself, because he doubted Zach would even touch him if he was upset with him for one reason or another (which wasn’t unusual). “Do… Do you want to go inside?” he murmured, only now seeming to notice the cold. “How long have you been out here waiting? Come on, let’s get you in…” Carefully, with his arm still wrapped around the older man, Kai tried to lead him back into the house, despite the fact his head was still whirling with questions. What the hell was going on…?

[Deleted]

Warm. Despite it being so cold out, Kai’s arms were warm. Already Zach could feel his nerves starting to settle. Had he even been breathing all this time? He couldn’t remember, everything from this afternoon up until now seemed like a bad dream that he couldn’t wake up from. And like someone waking from a bad dream, he couldn’t help the dampness that was building in his eyes. Even Kai's voice, that deep timbre, was soothing enough to push those terrified thought from the writer’s mind. He could fall asleep just like this…standing there, leaning against Kai’s bare chest…

Bare chest…?

As Kai started moving the shorter man around, guiding him, and with Zach following along on auto-pilot, Zach started to come out of his haze. He snapped his head up and pushed himself away just enough to get a full-on look of Kai, from head to toe…and of the state he’d come in. “Where’s your shirt!? Where are your shoes?? Aren’t you cold???” And more than all of that…it couldn’t have been more than 30 minutes since Zach called the other man…maybe even 20? “How many speed limits did you break to get here so fast??” Zach looked up to his…Kai…still clinging onto his arms and with a worried gaze. Zach blinked, causing drops of that collected fluid to finally fall from his eyes.

[Malachai Roen]

Kai’s arms slowly started to work the longer he held Zach, and he gradually started rubbing up and down his spine, trying to be soothing. Of course, he still had no idea what he was trying to soothe, but… What else could he do?

He blinked and gawked as Zach’s head snapped up without warning, and then started rapid-fire questioning. “I-I… I didn’t take the time to put them on…” he mumbled, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. For once, it hadn’t been out of vanity. “I’m fine, I’m fine, I just… Wanted to get over here as fast as I could…” He winced at the last question. “The roads were pretty empty this late at night… Er, early in the morning…?” he explained. Of course, yes, he had sped a lot too. He was about to blabber out more excuses when the moonlight caught the thin stream that appeared on Zach’s cheeks, and Kai’s heart leapt to his throat. “Hey, h-hey, it’s okay, I’m fine, I’m here…” he murmured, overwhelmed with worry. “Shh…”

Keeping his arms tight around the older man, Kai led him back towards the house, opening and closing the front door quietly behind them. “Come on…” he murmured, going over to one of the couches. He snagged a blanket and pulled it over both of them as he sat, his anxiety clear in his furrowed gaze. “So… Can you tell me… Why…?” Why you’re so upset? It had to be something huge… Kai was fairly certain he’d only seen Zach cry once before, and that had been entirely Kai’s doing. He hoped with all his might that that wasn’t the case this time.

[Deleted]

For a moment, Zach had completely forgotten that he was upset, faced with the utterly irresponsible appearance that Kai had come to him with. Zach was too busy worrying about the tall man too even remember that he was, in fact, crying. "That's....that's no excuse!" he scolded. "What if you hurt yourself! Or got pulled over! Or...or...." Either way, everything that Kai did in order to get there quickly was too dangerous for Zach to just leave alone. Though, he wasn't sure if he was just over-reacting to it, or if his previous upset was just carrying over into this concern, making him all the more hysterical. Because while he didn't realize it, the tears hadn't stopped dripping from the writer's eyes.

Despite his scolding, Zach still buried his face into Kai's chest when he was pulled in closer, and used that moment to try calming himself again....but now that he'd started, he was caught in that spell, trembling out to his fingers and doing everything he could just to breath. Zach kicked himself for acting like this. Why couldn't he just calm the fuck down? He'd been able to keep his cool all night, why was now any different?

Zach was so inside himself that he barely realized that they'd moved from the front lawn to the couch in the living room by the time Kai repeated his earlier question. Zach opened his mouth to speak, but....what was he to say? How should he explain it? When he said it in his head, it sounded....somehow silly to be upset over it, even though he knew, logically, that it was a big deal. Zach swallowed, feeling a little bit calmer, and less shivery. Or perhaps that was just because they were inside, where it was warm. And then Zach remembered the reason why he'd gone outside in the first place. He looked around, pensively. "Everyone's asleep...I don't want to wake them up." With my whining.

He sat there beside Kai for about two minutes more before he gained the willpower to stand again. "Um....let's go this way..." he murmured a bit blankly, pointing out to the backyard. Zach took Kai's hand and led him out that way, still wrapped up in the blanket, looking much like a child leading his parent off to some secret hideaway. Zach slid open the back door as silently as he could and stepped out onto the patio, then closed it behind them once Kai had come out as well. "Um....here..." he said quietly, offering Kai the whole of the blanket. "You need this more than me." Hopefully, there wouldn't be any arguments. Zach took a breath, then sat on one of the white-washed wicker seats. There was just enough room for Kai to sit beside him if he chose to do so. "So..." he tried to start, folding his hands into one another. "Um....sorry..." he said with a sighing laugh. "I don't even know where to begin." His hand met with his forehead, eyes closing on contact. His thoughts just wouldn't organize quickly enough. "Um....thanks....for coming..." Zach's head fell, guilty for having troubled the younger man when he had important things he no doubt had to in the morning...in only a few more hours, actually...

[Malachai Roen]

“Well… Well I didn’t hurt myself or get pulled over, I’m fine!” Kai protested quietly, still too distracted with worry to raise his voice much. The tears on Zach’s face were tearing him to pieces. “Zach, please, that’s not important…” What was important was figuring out what was going on and trying to make it better as soon as possible.

Zach was shaking so badly… Fuck…. Kai was dying to know what had happened, dammit! But he didn’t want to push too much and make Zach freak out even more… He just had to be patient, no matter how difficult it was. Arghh…

He’d hoped coming inside would help calm him down and make things better, but Zach still seemed pretty lost in his head. Kai just kept holding him close and murmuring soft words to him, unsure of what else to do. When he finally spoke up, Kai looked at him, hoping he would finally open up, but then he said… “Oh, right…” he murmured, looking up. He’d almost forgotten that like, a dozen other people lived here.

Mrrr… This was why Zach needed to live closer, or just… Move in with him…

He waited until the writer stood, and quickly followed after where he was going without a word. Kai gave Zach’s hand a comforting squeeze as they walked, wondering where exactly they were heading. “Oh, uh, right…” he mumbled, taking the blanket as it was offered and draping it over his shoulders. He was a bit chilly now, but he wouldn’t complain. Kai settled next to his… To Zach, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, half-draping him in the blanket anyway. “Just… Just go slowly,” he suggested quietly, unsmiling and serious. He was too worried to be light-hearted. “Don’t mention it,” he added with a wave of his hand. “I… I’m just… Really fucking worried…” Kai took a shaky breath. “Did… Did I do something, or…? Wh-why is it so hard for you to tell me?” His voice was soft, but insistent despite his earlier suggestion. His free hand found Zach’s again, and he laced their fingers together. He didn’t even care that his hair was probably a fuzzy mess and that he hadn’t had time to put on cologne or something, which really meant something for the vain rich-boy.

[Deleted]

“That’s not the point…” Zach mumbled, lowering his head despondently. Just because nothing happened didn’t meant that he should have done it, especially not for Zach’s sake. If Zach found out that Kai had been in an accident or had gotten in trouble because of Zach’s selfish request….Zach didn’t know if he could deal with that. It was bad enough that he had troubled the younger man by calling him over in the first place…

Oh well…Zach would have a talk with him about that later…

It was hard enough trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened already. And that he would have to tell Kai about it, sooner or later. Maybe that’s why Zach was wandering and dragging Kai along behind him; he was just stalling so he didn’t have to say anything at all. Heck, if he didn’t have to, then Zach would be just fine with that. No reason to let himself get worked up when he didn’t have to.

But the time for stalling had come and past, and there was no room for it anymore without it being apparent that Zach didn’t want to say anything. The two sat on the patio, practically a room by itself with all the advantages of being inside, including heating, but with large windows along the length of every wall and mosquito screens lining those. In the corner was piled Mom’s gardening tools, and in the other, close to the door that led to the backyard proper, was a barbecue grill standing at the ready, just waiting to be rolled outside. The flooring was originally hardwood, but Mom decided that an artificial grass turf would give a more outside feel to the room, and so had Dev and Gaige put it in this past summer. Zach curled his toes into the soft bristles as he sat there, thinking of how to tell this story. “Sorry…” he muttered when Kai continued to urge him. The fact that Kai expressed how worried he was already wasn’t helping matters either. Because why would Zach want to say something that he knew was only going to disturb Kai even more?

Zach took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Lany and I were attacked today….on the way home. By a man with a gun.” His voice sounded so emotionless, even to Zach. “He…stole our wallets…took…whatever he could find from Lany’s bag….I’m surprised he didn’t take my cell phone too…” He was thankful for that, at least. But the reassurance of what he still had was nothing compared to what they’d lost…and just the…that it happened at all…. “But….yeah, I’m just…..I don’t know….Neither of us are hurt, at least….” And that was pretty much all of it. Zach couldn’t even think of what else he needed to say…but somehow felt like he had to. Like he had to say something that indicated they were okay, that he was okay, that it wasn’t a big deal and everything about the situation was completely handled and under control and that it was over now and they didn’t need to think about it anymore and that Kai could go home with the assurance that Zach was going to be completely fine now. He was fine…just fine….just…

Zach fell into Kai, resting his forehead against Kai’s shoulder, and closed his eyes. “I’m…..” His voice cracked, and Zach swallowed to keep the stinging in his throat at bay. It wasn’t working. “I’m not okay…okay…?”

[Malachai Roen]

Kai was realizing now that Zach was stalling. Why, he still wasn’t sure. But he was getting impatient, and it took all he could to just… Try and shake the answer out of him, argh! No, nope… Stay calm. That’s what Zach needed, and… Zach was more important here.

At least it was comfortable in here. Kai was constantly amazed by the mansion (really, it was big enough to be called that, even to him) that the Bishops lived in. But at the moment, his attention wasn’t on his surroundings at all. He just needed to be sure that Zach was okay… Well, no, obviously he wasn’t. He needed to be sure that he would be okay. “No, don’t… Don’t apologize…” he muttered. “I’m just impatient. I’m sorry…”

The first words of Zach’s story sent a shock through Kai. This… Hadn’t been what he’d expected at all (although to be honest, he hadn’t really known what to expect). “Attacked…!?” he repeated, mouth agape. He would have exploded into worried questions if Zach hadn’t continued talking. As it was, he kept shifting, having a hard time keeping himself from jumping up and running to whatever alley this creep had crawled from and pummeling the daylights out of him. Despite the fact that Zach said he wasn’t hurt, Kai still felt the need to look over him, as though expecting a sudden bloom of blood to appear on his shirt. Fucking… Hell….!

His breathing had gone a little ragged by the time Zach finished, and his arms had tightened considerably around the older man’s waist, holding as close as he could manage, as though he could protect the writer from any harm as long as he kept him there. If it were someone else, he might have just offered to help pay for whatever he’d lost and figure the person would be fine eventually. But this was Zach. His… His… Kai couldn’t bear the thought of losing him so tragically. He just… Couldn’t.

“We’ll… We’ll get through this together, okay?” he finally managed to get out; his voice was rough and croaky, and he cleared his throat before he went on. “I swear I won’t let anything like that happen to you again.” How he was going to keep that promise, who knew, but he was determined. “I’ll do whatever you need me to. I d-don’t…. Want you to be alone.” Kai took a shaky breath. “M-maybe… Maybe you should… Move in with me again…” It was a serious offer, and not at all due to any reason other than pure protective instinct.

[Deleted]

He’d gotten it out. Finally. Did he feel better? Nope.

If anything, Zach just felt worse. So. Much. Worse. Because now Kai was showing signs of being upset, and the last thing Zach wanted to do was be the cause of Kai’s unrest. And the last thing Zach needed was another reason to feel terrible. What he did need, however, was for Kai to just be there. With him. To be his rock. That person he could hold onto when he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. Someone to carry him when Zach became too weary from supporting everyone else. Zach couldn’t….he just knew, he couldn’t do it by himself this time.

But he needed everyone else to think he could. Otherwise, they too would…

Zach eyes flooded again and he shut them tight, forcing tears down one after the other onto Kai’s bare shoulder. He nodded, trying to take comfort in Kai’s embrace, in his words, in his mere presence. “Okay,” he choked, curling himself in closer to his…Kai. He let himself sob, he let his face twist and get ugly. Zach never let anyone see him like this. Even when he’d broken up with Kai for those few months, Zach kept this side of him secret and safe and to himself. The only person he wanted to lean on back then was…Kai, still….

He was glad to have him now. However…

Zach lifted his head at the suggestion. Yes! he wanted to say, but… “I can’t! Kai, it wasn’t just me! It was Lany too! I can’t just…” Zach trailed off, and swallowed, taking a moment before trying to speak again. “I can’t just…abandon her like that,” he finished, letting his eyes fall once more. What kind of big brother would he be if he took off just to save himself?

[Malachai Roen]

Of course Kai was upset! He’d just been told that the man he was in love with could have died today, without Kai even there to…. To say goodbye… Or anything! It just… It reminded him of how easily someone could be snuffed out of his life without warning, someone he took for granted being there, and just… He just couldn’t… And to imagine Zach trying to keep a brave face and tell his younger siblings he was fine when he was obviously so shaken and traumatized by the event…

Kai’s heart squeezed painfully. Zach was… He was so incredibly brave… But… So vulnerable…

He felt the drops of moisture hitting his skin, and the younger man squeezed Zach closer to him, taking in several shaky breaths to try to calm himself. He needed to be the strong one here now… For Zach. No matter how upset he was and how much he wanted to pummel the person that had done this to him. “It’s okay… It’s going to be okay…” he soothed, nuzzling his face into the writer’s hair. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere…” He hoped that would be enough to alleviate some of Zach’s fear, at least for now. Kai really didn’t plan on letting him be alone anytime soon, though.

He blinked and flinched slightly as Zach reminded him of the other victim (who he, admittedly, had entirely forgotten about in his attempts to soothe his lover). “Right,” he breathed, his stomach tensing painfully. “W-well, I guess… I guess I’ll just have to come over so much that your family will get sick of me…” he finally mumbled, seeing no other choice. “And… Don’t… Don’t walk alone in the dark, okay? Even with your sister…” He felt like he was sounding like a mom, but he didn’t care. He was being protective, dammit. “I can drive you places if you need me to. Or… I don’t know… Walk with you. Whatever you need.” Kai swallowed a hard lump in his throat. “Fuck, Zach… I love you so much, you know that, right?” He needed to make sure Zach knew. He needed to. “I’ll do anything…”

[Deleted]

That was it, wasn’t it? The realization that for that short period that both Lany and he had been in that alley, with just a simple movement, one of them, or both, could have lost so easily. If even one thing had gone wrong, then what would have happened? If Zach hadn’t insisted to Lany that they just do what the man said without resisting? Would Lany have been alright if she had gone alone? What if Zach hadn’t been there with her? What if Zach had been alone? Why did it have to be them of all people?

That was the other thing…what if it had been someone else? One of his other siblings? Lany and Zach were the two quietest, most passive people in the large Bishop clan. If it had been any of his other siblings, things might have gone much differently. Dev and Gordon would have fought back…no, they were such big people that they probably wouldn’t have been targeted in the first place. Claudia would have….Zach pitied any person who crossed her and her army of bees. Katy…she might’ve been so startled, and panicked and end up getting hurt. Same with Savvy. Aura could take care of herself. So could Gaige. And the twins….who knows what would’ve happened to them?

But fate had chosen Lany and Zach for some reason. And when faced in that situation, he froze. He couldn’t even remember thinking anything, nothing. All he remembered was that thing that was pointed at him and his sister. And the only thing Zach could do was go along with whatever he said, like a damn coward.

Zach couldn’t do anything…he couldn’t do anything! He couldn’t….

Zach tried to focus on the sound of Kai’s voice trying to cut through that whirlwind of panic and regret, and terror and shame, and… He was still shaking, so much he wondered if he’d ever stop. “O-okay,” he stammered out, resting his head into Kai’s neck. “Okay…” he said again. And then again, to every word of guidance that Kai offered to him. “Okay…” He sniffled. His nose had become runny. “I know….” he said with a nod, nuzzling in further against Kai. “I know…just…stay…for a little while.” Or forever. Please.