We need to have a talk (Sean)

[Charlotte Greene]

So it had been months now that Charlie had been rather wanting to get hold of Dr. Sean Neville.. She'd attended 'the talk' however long ago it had been, but there had been... some things that hadn't been discussed quite to her liking and apparently she hadn't been self-doubting loud enough for Sean to overhear her thoughts. He'd gone over lots of things, not the least of which were protection and consent.. but those weren't her problems. Those were things Charlie had been able to find more than enough information on online. She felt she was fairly well armed in those areas. What she was less sure about was.. well.. what exactly to do to prevent disaster. --Surely the dean had other things to talk to her about.. Charlie had missed some classes, broken quite a few curfew rules, likely been in some areas she shouldn't have been in on occasion.. That was the problem with sleepwalking. One wasn't entirely in control of their actions. But more and more Charlie found that she was willing to brave those topics in order to hopefully get to discuss the one that mattered to her. Connor. She knew that it was only a matter of time before one of them made the decision that things needed to go a step further and she really, desperately wanted to be educated and prepared to that she didn't screw it up and--.

There he was. Right there. Casually strolling down the hallway. The way he was glancing form student to student almost had to mean he was there simply out for a walk. It was the perfect time to just.. schedule her own appointment. Right here. In the hallway. In fact, he may have already made the addendum to his mental datebook with how loudly Charlie was psyching herself up in her own head. The crowded hallway seemed to part just enough for her to quickly walk directly up to the head psychologist... and (intentionally) before she could pay attention to how cold her feet were, Charlie bolted. Suddenly Sean would be confronted by a somewhat worried, very nervous and slightly anxious looking fair-skinned blonde girl with huge green butterfly wings protruding from an orange shirt with convenient holes cut into the back.. And perhaps out of nerves or perhaps because it was that important a topic, in a voice significantly louder than she'd meant, and slighty louder than necessary, Charlie stood on her tippy-toes and balled her fists to force out, "Dr. Neville, I really need to talk to you about inter-meta intimacy and possible complications thereof."

And then Charlie immediately turned bright red because she'd heard the volume of and desperation in her own voice... and if Sean did anything but smile, he'd have to run to catch her, because she'd turn right around and bolt in the opposite direction.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Contrary to popular belief, Sean Neville left his office during work hours. Like everyone, he had human needs to eat, drink, use the bathroom, and get fresh air. He acted as advisor to two clubs – the Student Activities Council and the Peer Mediators – and he had staff meetings on certain days of the week in the morning or after classes ended in the afternoon. Occasionally, students or faculty members required his presence in a difficult situation. Between sessions, he traveled to the staff lounge for coffee, he went out for lunch, and sometimes, during the nicer weather, if he had packed his lunch, then he ate in the courtyard.

Sometimes, he stopped in on his coworkers to talk to them.

He had finished chatting with Chase about weekend plans and had stepped into the hallway toward the staff lounge for a cup of coffee when he found himself accosted by one of the students.

A blonde teenager whom he immediately recognized as Charlotte Greene. Although Hammel had hundreds of students, he prided himself on recognizing as many of them as possible from their files, from past interaction, from seeing them around the grounds, or, if necessary, probing lightly to find their name. He took less pride in the last one, since it was the last resort for finding a name and matching it to a face.

She certainly sounded desperate enough, and the psychiatrist never turned away a student in need, even when cornered in the hallway rather than in his office by appointment. More than that, relationships were one of his specialties.

As such, he offered her a gentle smile, wanting to prevent her from panicking and starting a Benny Hill-style chase scene. “We can talk about that. Do you want to come back to my office? Or did you have your heart yet on having a conversation out here?”

[Charlotte Greene]

"I.. um.." Oh crap. She'd literally just blurted that out.. in the middle of a crowded hallway... loudly enough that several people deep had heard her every word. Suddenly Charlie was subconscious.. and seemed to almost shrink. Knees bent, slouch, surround self with wings smallness. "Yeah..." On the one hand.. an office would be infinitely better than a hallway.. but on the other hand there was nothing to keep her from losing her nerve on the way to said office... actually, she wasn't sure how any of it was left just now to begin with. Apparently Connor meant that much. Despite being in full-on embarrassedmode and trying to shrink, Charlie was still determined to have this discussion. Especially since she hadn't been turned away instantly.

So... having stalled for what had to have been several seconds by now, Charlie stared up past her brows with still-glowing cheeks and thought louder than she whispered, "M-maybe.. outside?" The spot she had in mind was in the courtyard, away from the building, on a bench... but that was a pretty decent walk to get to. Literally just outside and off the path would more than suffice.. Or heck, right here would do if it absolutely had to, Charlie would just need that many more cuddles afterward.. hopefully armed with the necessary information to take things a step or three past cuddling if it became opportune... --But those were not the right thoughts to have just now.. because she hadn't even had the talk she needed to have yet.

"--Or.. um.. if you prefer your office.. or an actual appointment and not being verbally assaunted in the hallway with no regard for your schedule or plans or anything else...." And Charlie suddenly felt like a huge jerk. Wow. Sure, Sean was here for his students, but surely for something that was in no way life-threatening she was overstepping some bounds. She'd heard he was a nice guy but she had to be near the edge of convenience and approaching annoyance in a hurry. But then of course the man was an amazingly gifted telepath.... and likely was more than capable of understanding the majority of what she was thinking just now.. especially since it made sense that he would be actively listening because Charlie may well look quite a bit like a flight risk at the moment.. and had never, to her knowledge, had any real face-time or conversations with Sean...

So she simply let her shoulders drop and took a deep breath.. recovering just enough composure to actually look him in the eye as she followed up with, "If you are willing to help me I'm happy to talk wherever is most convenient for you, Dr. Neville."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean waited for her decision. It made no difference to him in terms of location, as he could do his job anywhere. His office was more private and it held comfortable furniture, but it had drawbacks: people considered it more serious, it was nowhere near their present location which involved a longer walk than staying put or going somewhere nearby, and it was impossible to deny that she had visited him in his office if someone saw them. While they would be in plain sight if they remained in public, they could be discussing something about a school dance.

Then she made her decision, and he agreed immediately.

“Outside is fine,” Sean confirmed gently. She exuded such nervousness that he worried she might scuttle away if he turned his head briefly. While he didn’t want to force her to open up, she obviously wanted to, even if the nervousness might impede that. Best to remove as many obstacles as possible, which meant appears as unthreatening as he ever had, and guiding her quickly to somewhere that they could talk and where she could unburdened herself.

With that, he gestured vaguely over his shoulder down the corridor, so they could begin walking in that direction. They could walk and talk, and that would hopefully put her out of earshot from some of her peers. Even if they didn’t use his office, he still owed her a duty of confidentiality, and that meant trying to create some degree of privacy for her.

He waited until they began moving from the alcove before he asked, “What’s on your mind?”

[Charlotte Greene]

When Sean gestured, Charlie swallowed hard and turned to walk at a reasonable pace in that direction.. Then he asked what was on her mind and she literally ducked a little as if the question might hurt to properly receive. "Um.. Well, you hold the annual 'talk'.. and.. I know you have a lot of ground to cover when you do.. and you need to keep things general enough to fit most of us.. and I've never been very good at.. 'thinking loudly'. I just.. um.. need some advice? Maybe a little reassurance."

She continued for several long moments in silence. "I'm really worried about dusting myself and my.. partner.. during.. y-you know.." Because she'd never done that before and because everything she'd read, seen, or been told explained that it could be a very powerful thing. If it was anything like a moment of intense anxiety or fear, in which one lost themselves to instinct, was there any way she could guarantee her safety? Or Connor's? She didn't want to .. to build up the requisite confidence, have that much faith placed in her.. and then end up sending the both of them to the infirmary because they could see sounds or hear temperatures or because they started hallucinating. How the heck did one recover from that?

But despite Charlie's internal monologue, and the solid notion that Sean could most likely pick up on it, Charlie did try to open up and say it.. albeit non-verbally. Instead she thought, as clearly and consicely as she could. "I am horrified that I might dust myself and Connor the first time we have sex. I really, really want to try but I can't risk that and I don't know what will happen or might happen or if these instincts don't count for pleasure or if they might get triggered if there is any pain.. Please help me."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean walked beside her, listening as she gave the beginnings of her explanation. So she wanted advice regarding sex or relationships. That was understandable enough, as he tried to make himself a resource for the students, and he knew that issues arose throughout the year, not merely during the seminar or in the week leading up to it when he collected questions to address to the group. While he didn’t think she needed to be nervous about asking the question, he knew that telling her that was a fool’s errand. Rarely did a student ask him a personal question without feeling some degree of anxiety. He was an authority figure. He was in his fifties. He towered over the students when he spoke to them. He knew that came across as intimidating.

He did what he could to minimize that, in this case, he kept his gentle and reassuring. “I can certainly help with that. It’s one of my areas of expertise.”

Not initially, but nearly twenty-five years in this position at Hammel had given him that expertise.

That was certainly one of the more interesting questions that anyone had sought him out to answer before. It was also one that - unlike questions about simple mechanics or birth control options or issues of consent – lacked a simple answer. Truthfully, the psychiatrist could not tell her how her body would react to sex for the first time. He could tell her anecdotes he had learned from other people with similar powers; he could even clean up anecdotes about his relationship with someone who had wings (albeit without any sort of hallucinogenic dust to worry about).

He became silent for a long moment as he considered the best way to answer. Finally, projecting his thoughts back to her to maintain her privacy, he replied, I’m going to ask you a question that’s entirely for assessment purposes and not to embarrass you, but do your wings pop out during other situations? Do you wake up after a pleasant dream and find them popped out? Or during masturbation?

She might not have ever explored herself, and that wasn’t his business. However, the only way to remove the stigma was to treat it as typical rather than shameful. If they don’t pop out during other comparable situations, then I don’t think you have to worry about it.

[Charlotte Greene]

Oh, wow.. This kind of communication was far easier than talking! Charlie had never had a telepath speak into her mind, so the initial impression was one of 'O.o' but after a brief moment she was able to relax slightly. Surely no one around them was going to be hearing their conversation or judging. Surely there were no stronger telepaths on campus than the Sean Neville. But his question didn't have much of an answer..

Charlie was.. by some definitions a 'pure' individual.. Pure as the driven snow, in fact. She was obviously a virgin, but had yet to really explore herself either.. Only recently had any real urges or feelings even been present. She knew about self-pleasure and about sex, at least mechanically, but until Connor she'd.. never really had an object of desire to.. make her want either of those things. She'd also figured that.. at night, in the privacy of her own dorm was where those things usually happened.. and she had enough trouble sleeping that it seemed silly to get worked up over something, even on the nights that she wasn't completely exhausted.. That, and her dreams about Connor were more romantic than sexual most of the time. She craved his attention and his affection more than his body.. but then she'd never experienced the latter in quite the capacity she was worried about, either.

So she would simply communicate images and situations that were.. 'intense' instead, for Sean's consideration. Being frightened was a whole-body reaction.. and in her past her wings acting of their own accord seemed hit or miss.. some of the time she'd dust whoever or whatever had frightened her, other times she'd maintained control.. She'd woken up from nightmares with her wings in and out.. she'd woken up from dreams about Connor in both situations. Though, thus far she's never woken up from a dream about Connor tripping on her own dust.. She hoped that was a good sign.

Overall, it seemed Charlie was notably more likely not to dust someone in any given situation than she was to let her wings do their thing all willy-nilly. But then she'd already known that. She was here looking for reassurance, advice.. permission. Things she couldn't get from her parents and.. just didn't have the friends to turn to about.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean smiled inwardly to himself at Charlie’s sudden realization. In his experience, typically there existed only three reactions to telepathy from non-psychics: 1) utter disbelief that often devolved into a game of “what am I thinking?” followed by questions that would inform their future opinions, 2) immediate distrust of telepathy and telepaths by extension, believing that they would abuse their powers so that he had to walk on eggshells around them, or 3) realizing the inherent utility in having another method of communication. How so few people failed to fall into the third category spoke to the limited imaginations of far too many in this world.

Charlie was also correct that nobody would overhear this. After so many decades with his power, the psychiatrist knew how to keep mental communication private. It was only them in this conversation, with no chance for anyone else to overhear. Even those with clairaudience wouldn’t be able to overhear, because they weren’t speaking aloud, and thus nothing could reach their ears. It was as safe a conversation as Charlie could ever hope to have on the Hammel campus. That was all the more reason for her to be open with her questions; he wouldn’t judge.

He waited for her to clarify her past experience with her powers, and, from that, he could understand her concern. Certainly she wasn’t without biological precedent for her wings popping out in the middle of an emotional or personally intimate moment - the specifics of which Sean was unfamiliar with from a personal standpoint. However, that didn’t necessarily mean that she would dust her boyfriend. It simply made it theoretically possible.

After she’d shown him the images, he nodded to himself while they walked. Finally, he projected back to her. On the one hand, I can see why you’d be worried about that. On the other, I agree that the fact that you haven’t dusted yourself from your dreams is a good sign. There’s also the fact that the more afraid you are over a power slip, the more likely it becomes since we have the ability to undermine ourselves with our insecurities.” That was one of the unpleasant ironies of powers that were affected by emotional state.