What Happens Next (AJ)

[Adaryn Breslin]

The closer the graduation date became, the more worried with life she had become. Adaryn had been gladly avoiding the idea of what was to become of her if and when she graduated, because frankly, Addie had never believed she would graduate on time. Her power had always eluded her trainers in some way or another, but with the help of Mr. Meian, she found it was far easier to focus on not focusing on her power.

However, none of that insecurity had come true, and in fact, she was graduating this year with nearly the best grades she had gotten throughout her time at Hammel. She averaged with a B, and even received straight A's in her art course. It was mind blowing, especially for the girl who had thought she would amount to nothing.

In that moment, though, Adaryn's insecurities had surfaced and she was in desperate need of the comfort of her supposed 'second half'. AJ and Addie had an interesting relationship, considering they had so much in common and yet they had only just recently met (by recently, only by her junior year), she felt AJ was probably the easiest to talk to out of her sphere of friends. The issues that were to be presented would probably cause Monroe and Eloise to offer their assistance which, really, Addie didn't want. Not in the bad way, but she didn't want hand outs. And she didn't think she was ready to even consider Monroe at this point.

Twas a complicated life.

"AJ?" Adaryn said, knocking on the door to her friend's dorm. "AJ, It's Addie. Can we talk?"

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ was at her desk dilligently tapping away on her laptop and then rewording nearly almost every single sentence. She wanted her essay to be good enough, she really wanted to finish up her senior year with the best grades since she'd started her. She'd had a really hard time at first keeping up with her homework because of her mental health upon arriving, but it was clear that she'd made a lot of improvement in her academics and she wanted to keep it up.

She was also texting Oliver back and forth, a simple conversation really as he knew she was trying to write a paper at the moment. A knock on her door caused her to stop typing in the middle of a sentence. It could be for one of her other roommmates, but when she heard the voice, she knew it was for her. She was immediately worried because of what it sounded like and she got up from her chair, leaving it spinning behind her and answered the door.

"Hey Addie," she greeted her friend. "Are you okay? What's up?" She had a habit of thinking the worst.

[Adaryn Breslin]

It wasn't as though Adaryn had a clear cut method to even begin the conversation at hand. It was a delicate topic, one she wasn't even sure, Adaryn realized then, was a good idea to even bring up. Adolescence was fleeting and they both were being dropped into adulthood with little mercy. At least they were getting over their problems. At least they were still friends.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I just-" She paused, stepping past her immediately before turning on her heel to face her friend, "I wanted to talk to you." The last portion was said as if it were satisfactory, a sufficient answer to the worried pheromone manipulator. Adaryn's shield had been up, but the greatest thing about her training with Vincent Meian was that she could still see without having to feel.

"I was wondering if you had any plans after we graduated from Hammel."

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"Okay," AJ said, hand lingering on the door. She opened it wider. "Come in," she told the empath, a little unsure of what the subject would be. She was worried automatically.

When Adaryn brought up graduation, AJ slightly shuddered. She'd been thinking about it a lot lately and would be lying if she said it hadn't mostly dominated her thoughts. She was so concerned with having everything in place, with finishing off in good academic standing, repairing her relationship with Oliver. She let out a breath. "Going to college." That was as far as she knew. She'd been accepted into the University of Vermont and a college back in Minnesota. She knew she had to make the decision to stay or to go back and while she missed her family horribly, she couldn't help but think that her story here wasn't finished being written. She didn't know what Oliver's plans were, but they still had a lot to work on, and what about everyone she'd met? Addie was only making it easier to make the decision to stay. "Why? What are you going to do?"

[Adaryn Breslin]

The idea of college really was nonexistent at this point. The biggest plan that she had formulated before hand was continuing to work at Starbucks and maybe finding another job if it called for it. No idea for where she would live, where she would go in the end, or any of that. The uncertainty in AJ's voice only confirmed that she wasn't the only one feeling that pressure.

"I have no clue," Adaryn admitted, "I don't really have the money or the grades to get into college, so that's definitely out of the question." The debt, no less, was not something she wanted on her shoulders, nor did she want to have to ask for help. In the end, the girl was afraid of inconveniencing those around her, which was what prevented her from asking Monroe or Eloise to stay with them. "I don't even know where I'm going to stay."

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

"I feel like that's the question everyone's asking. I don't know what I'm going to do either! I mean...I'm going to the University of Vermont, I think. I got in." That counted for something, but she could still go back home to Minnesota and go to college there. She'd also gotten into a university near her hometown, but she was just starting to heal things with Oliver and still healing herself. Was she ready to mend her relationship with her parents too? She wasn't sure. She loved them and she knew that they knew that as well, but she also didn't know if she was ready. She'd pushed them away for quite some time.

She opened her mouth to comment on the college thing, immediately wanting to interject. She was trying to convince Oriel to go to college, so why couldn't Adaryn? They were looking for someone who was willing to improve, who was a good person. Adaryn was both of those. "You don't want to go to school? Even if money wasn't a factor?" Of course it always was. But there was financial aid and everyone was in the same boat anyway. When she said she didn't know where she was going to say, AJ frowned, immediately on a mission to find an answer for it.

"I uh, you could stay with me, I mean...I don't know what I'm doing yet, but I think I'm going to stay." What was she saying here? Stay where?

[Adaryn Breslin]

There was a difference between Adaryn and AJ was that AJ had always attempted to move towards her issues when they presented themselves rather run in the other direction. She moved toward the unknown and debt that came with college, whereas Adaryn didn't even try to apply. There was this inner pessimism that turned into inactivity due to a fear of rejection.

The biggest thing that she feared was rejection, and she only wanted to save her from the inevitable heartbreak of it. "It's like once you turn 18, you have to have your life all figured out. I barely even know what I'm going to be about Ms. Estrada's Analysis of The Scarlet Letter due on Monday, let alone my future."

It was a few moments of silence for Adaryn when the mentioning of her not going to college passed the Pheromone manipulator's mouth, unsure of how to respond in the light of things. "Even if money weren't a factor I don't think I'd make it." There was no doubt there were far better candidates for the academic life, but not her. How could she?

"You're staying in Pilot Ridge?" That was a relief, honestly. AJ was one of her best friends, and part of her biggest fear in coming here was to find out her best friend was leaving her. "Maybe... we can get an apartment together? I work and I've been saving since like... November of 2013 so I'd say I could help pay for something."

[Amanda Joy "AJ" Lane]

AJ wanted one thing for Adaryn. She wanted her to have confidence. Everyone went into debt when they went to college. It just mattered that you spent your time learning then, made the most of it, got what you paid for...sort of anyway. Did she just not believe she could make it in college, or did she not want to go at all? Those were two different things. You could want something, but feel you wouldn't get it. That's what it seemed like Adaryn was dealing with. Even Oriel was considering college and academics and the setting of school had never been his thing, but that was just it, college was a different experience. You got to pick what you wanted to study and take classes when you want and there just wasn't as much pressure.

"Well, I definitely don't have my life figured out either," she agreed with the fellow brunette. She lifted her shoulders a little, shrugging slightly at what Addie said. She didn't want to push her, but she could see it for what it was. It was a confidence issue. AJ had plenty of those in her past and she still had some she was working out, but she wanted Adaryn to work on it as well. It wasn't that Addie wasn't smart. AJ knew she was. And everyone was smart in different ways. She just didn't think she could make it. And that made AJ sad as her friend.

"I think so." She might go home and visit her parents at least, but she wasn't so sure she could completely go back to Minnesota. Her heart had been there originally, but she'd also been greatly damaged there and she was trying to heal her wounds, not re open them. Besides, it seemed that Oliver might stay as well. "Really?" she beamed. She hadn't thought much about where she would live. "I'd like that."

[Adaryn Breslin]

There was little confidence that Adaryn could have when Adaryn just began having the more positive outlook on what life could and should be. Especially considering the neglect by her family in terms of emotional and mental support, there was little that Adaryn felt she could even do right. There was always this fear of messing up, of making things worse for those around her rather than better. She also didn't want to look like a complete fool.

So Adaryn always opted for what was safer.

However, at the mentioning of her offer there was a sudden influx of happiness, like a blinding, unexpected yellow that brought a nearly immediate jump to the Empath's mood. Adaryn was quiet though, until AJ finished speaking, then her lips turned up just slightly. "Well at least we have that down covered... Roommates. We'll be roommates."