Bear Hug? [Rue]

[Finn Eogeum]

Backdated to June 15th

Finn was worried. Curious. It could just be that his phone was out of battery, or he’d turned it off, or… or he’d lost it and not told Finn for like… a while. A long while. And Finn hadn’t seen him in a long long while, but…. but maybe he was just sleepy or really, really busy doing… Rue stuff. Maybe. Finn was just worried. Rue never ignored him like this. He’d left it a few days because… because sometimes Rue just wanted space, and that was okay, and Finn understood that. But he wasn’t… he wasn’t responding to anyone at all. Not himself, not Vicky, not… nobody. Shut up, grammar wasn’t important at a time like this.

All of this just made Finn paranoid that something had happened and gone wrong in some way. Why else would Rue ignore him like this? Even if he did want to be left alone, usually he would reply at least once to tell Finn that. This was odd. Something had to be wrong, that meant, in Finn’s eyes. And he knew at least one good tool to help in these times.

Which was why Finn was stood on Rue’s doorstep, drenched from the dripping rain outside, backpack on his back as he knocked on his best friend’s door, “Rue!” He yelled. He wasn’t still in the rain, having let himself into the apartment building, but he was slowly getting pretty cold, “Rue, lemme in! I’m really wet right now!” But even with his loud shouts and clear disturbance of others, there was no response. So either Rue wasn’t in, or something was really wrong. He pouted and knocked again, before kicking the door and then sliding down it, catching the handle with his bag and falling backwards as the unlocked door welcomed him to the ground. After thudding onto the floor and realising the situation, Finn got up and dusted himself off, taking off his jacket and bag, pulling out an only slightly wet plushie that he’d made himself, just for Rue. With that, he quietly walked to Rue’s room and knocked on that door a lot gentler, opening it slowly, “Rue?” He said quietly, almost meekly, holding the cute fluffy thing to his chest as he came into the room, “I… I made you a friend.” He said carefully, holding it out.

Finn knew it was obvious that he knew something was wrong. He was hardly ever this demure.

[Deleted]

Rue wasn’t sure how many days it had been since he’d lost it. Three days, four days, a week…. He’d hardly left bed since that time, only to drink and eat what little he could get down, and go to the bathroom, give the cats some food and water, and that was pretty much it. His blinds were closed to the sunlight outside; he wanted to stay nestled in his dark, soft, warm place, with nothing but his dull, pathetic thoughts to keep himself occupied.

He’d left his phone on for a while, and it buzzed and rang occasionally, but he never answered it. After a while, Rue just turned it off, having no intention to check what people wanted. If they really needed something, they could come to him, he figured. Not that he wanted any guests. He hadn’t even purposefully left the front door unlocked, but it was fortunate for Finn that he had, because even the knocking and yelling had barely made Rue stir in his half-awake trance. No, go away, he wanted to say, but the words didn’t come. I don’t want to hurt you too…

He’d fucked up. Really fucked up. He knew better than to go out and try to interact with people when he was in the state that he had been on that day; he should have made an excuse and gone home. But no… He’d had to wait until something triggered him into doing something he hadn’t in years, something he struggled with and sometimes had a hard time controlling on bad days. Seeing Oriel bloodied and gasping in pain on the ground had managed to snap him out of the blood-rage he’d been thrown into, hearing the younger boy taunt and bully Jackson, and he’d fled the scene before he could harm anyone else and had staggered home to where he currently was now.

What if he’d hurt Jackson too? He would never forgive himself. Even now, he wondered if the younger boy would ever want to see him again. Rue had seen the look of horror on his face… Like he was some sort of monster…

Rue became aware of the knock on his bedroom door, and the creak of it opening, but he still didn’t move. Hearing Finn’s voice made his heart hurt. Finn… How long had it been since Rue had spoken to his best friend? He didn’t want the older boy to see him like this. The aura reader kept his back towards the door, not speaking, not trusting his voice to keep from saying something that would hurt his friend. You’re better off just forgetting about me… His cats greeted Finn by rubbing against his legs, but even they seemed hesitant to curl up at their normal places on the bed.

[Finn Eogeum]

Finn had no clear knowledge of the exact details of why Rue had ended up like this. He didn't know that he'd hit Phoenix's fiancée unrelentingly, and possibly traumatised a fairly new friend of his. He didn't know about how his mental state was possibly spiraling down into some dark sadness that he wanted to wallow in alone, but Finn didn't even need to see Rue directly to know what was going on in general. He recognised the signs from experiences with himself. The apartment was dark and warm and quiet and it felt sheltered. It felt empty, despite the cats and their owner. It felt detached, and Finn knew when he was at his lowest, his surroundings always matched him. He would desaturate everything he could find until his hands went dry. If he couldn't feel bright and happy, neither could anything else.

Seeing Rue's home like this, though, was more of a kick. It made the severity stand out like a warning sign hung on his bedroom door. Finn knew the last thing he wanted when he was depressive was company. It was too much noise and concentration, too much pressure to think straight and converse when you just wanted to cry, or you wanted company but the words always came out wrong. But Rue needed this. He wasn't like Finn, who had someone to at least check on him on a regular basis. He was here alone. He needed something.

The lack of a reply drilled it all in either further. Finn even felt his own colours fade, and saw it start to spread onto the plushie before he got a hold of himself and restored the colour there. "...Rue, I know you can hear me." He said softly, looking down at the cats around his ankles and reaching down to pet the pair of them for a moment before creeping closer to the bed. He placed the plush next to his friend and hovered awkwardly, "....I have no idea what's happened specifically, but you know I know what it's probably about." That explosive anger. Yes, Finn knew all about Rue's worrying history and why he had a therapist and why he meditated and why he acted so calm. "Correct me if I'm wrong." He added softly.

The saturator took a moment to listen to the pattering rain, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, "I love the rain when I'm depressed." He said quietly, pausing to listen again, "Makes me feel like the universe understands." He sighed and looked at Rue's back again, "....I'll understand if you tell me to go, but.... but you know I trust you Rue." Finn said softly, "And it would take a lot to change that." The older one looked at the ground, nervously moving his foot, "You also know I'm terrible with words, so I'll apologise now for if I say something wrong at some point."

Finn was determined to stay with Rue. Maybe not in the same room but in the same building. Rue was there for him so much . He just really wanted to return the favour.

[Deleted]

Rue wasn’t sure how much Finn knew, if Jackson had told him anything or not. He hoped not, but… He’d been out of the loop for several days, so he had no idea what he’d been missing. And… As much as Rue disliked Oriel… He really, really hoped he was alright. Rue wondered if someone was going to be coming for him, the police or something, but he figured if the boy was going to press charges, they would have come by now. Then again… He was half-tempted to turn himself in for the violence. But what would they do? He was already in therapy heavily involving anger-management, and the damage to Oriel had already been done…

All he could do, he figured, was try not to let it happen again. But how could he? How could he trust himself to interact with anyone without his anger sparking again? Rue had gotten confident in his ability to control his emotions until now, and now that confidence was shattered. What if he did something worse? What if he killed someone? He couldn’t bear that thought…

His chest ached when Finn began speaking again, but Rue still didn’t move yet. Not until the older boy mentioned knowing what it was probably about. So Jackson hadn’t told him… But Finn’s hunch was right. The aura reader finally shifted a little, barely peeking out at his friend from underneath his mound of blankets and pillows. “… You’re not wrong,” he managed to barely croak out in a whisper.

He didn’t say anything for a bit after that, and had rolled back over onto his side, towards the window. His eyes were closed, though, until Finn mentioned the rain, and he slowly opened them towards the blinds. He couldn’t see the rain, but he could hear it. “Mmm….” It was the only noise of agreement he could manage to make. When the older boy continued talking, Rue stayed quiet again for a while, trying to gather his dreary thoughts into something logical. “…. You shouldn’t trust me,” he murmured, voice barely audible underneath the muffling blankets. “I could hurt you. I could hurt anyone. I don’t know how to control myself….”

He moved again, burying his face underneath one of his big, plushy pillows. Please just leave, he begged silently. But Rue couldn’t get the courage to say the words aloud. Because in the end, he was still incredibly selfish, and didn’t want to be alone now that someone had come to see him. But he was paranoid that any move he might make would somehow end up hurting his best friend, and Rue couldn’t live with that. “… I’m sorry…” he whispered vaguely. He didn’t know what he was apologizing for – what he’d done, what he was doing now, or what he might do – but Rue felt that it needed to be said.

[Finn Eogeum]

As much as Finn was very aware of Rue's emotional state, and how much he had to keep himself in check, he could never imagine him doing harm because he wanted to, as if it gave him some kind of pleasure, because he really, truly didn't. Anyone could tell that from how he was behaving now. No, he tried, he tried really hard, and he acknowledged that he had a problem and he had to work with or around it. Rue was responsible for his actions, and he took that upon himself. But this hadn't happened in a long time... which was probably why he was acting as he was. Finn wondered if his friend was now scared of himself. Finn would be, in his position.

When he finally got some kind of a response, Finn sighed softly. Not from relief, really - the last thing he wanted to hear was that he was right, in this situation - but at least Rue was communicating. Ish. He nodded, "...okay." He took a couple seconds to really take that in. Rue had done something violent. The saturator dreaded the thought.

Finn's logic was that maybe Rue wouldn't feel so alone and sad if he kept talking, even if the younger one didn't feel like replying. Just knowing he had Finn's full attention... would it help? He looked at the blinds as Rue hummed, wondering how long they'd been closed for. He listened, feeling fragile in the fact that Rue, his rock, felt so unstable, and began hugging himself. He had to creep a little more forward to understand what he was saying, and by the end, he bit his lip. "And?" He said softly, "I've hurt you before. Too many times. If anyone can understand how this kind of thing feels..." He pointed at himself weakly, despite the fact Rue probably wouldn't see. "I... I know it's not the same, not exactly, but... but I'm not about to abandon you to slowly starve or something." He cared too much to do that.

Finn watched Rue roll over and thought for a couple moments, becoming twitchy. He hated moments like this. It felt like Rue needed affection, and the older boy was incapable of giving that, physically. He could sing Rue's praises all day long, but that wouldn't help right now. He didn't hear the mutter, and stood for a few moments, the silence only broken by quiet breaths and the raindrops on the window as Finn tried to work out what to do, and he was struggling. He wasn't a problem solver, and this kind of thing hadn't arisen in a long long while.

He... was clueless. He felt like a child, completely cut off from understanding, when that was all he wanted to do right now.

Finn perched himself on the bed, still hugging himself. Biting his lip, he looked at the ground, "I know it's hard." He said softly, "And I know you're worried." But Finn didn't have anything encouraging to say. "Life sucks sometimes." He looked over his shoulder at Rue and swallowed nervously. He took a few deep, long breaths before rolling onto his side and wrapping his arms around his best friend. "I w-would know." He said shakily. He just didn't know what else to do. And he could feel his body rejecting this situation like a person with an allergy rejected their allergen, but he just held on. "Just... j-just don't keep b-beating yourself up. I k-know how d-d...devistating it can get when I d-do that, so..." So he hung on.

[Deleted]

It might have been hard for anyone besides Finn (and Jackson, who had been there) to believe that Rue was capable of hurting someone as much as he had. He was always so quiet, so careful, so steady and cautious with his actions that it was hard to imagine what he was really capable of. His body wasn’t just big – it was powerful, and could really hurt if put to the task, as Oriel had found out so horribly…

He didn’t mind Finn talking. Rue just didn’t know what he should say in return. He felt so awful, so guilty, he didn’t think he deserved to have a friend supporting him. The aura reader heard the floor creak as Finn stepped closer, and he tensed a little, afraid for his friend, for what he could do to him if he got too close…. No…. No, he would never… Rue couldn’t imagine laying a finger on him, and yet… “Not like I hurt people,” he breathed into the sheets. “It was so horrible, Finn, he w-was just… Just lying there, covered in…” His throat tightened and Rue’s voice choked up. “It could have so easily b-been anyone…!” Sure, Oriel had poked and prodded until the older man snapped, but still. He didn’t know how to respond to Finn’s kindness. It was so… It felt wrong, but he wanted it so badly… “… Thanks, Finn…” he whispered with a raw voice. “… I sh-should tell you to leave, but…” But he couldn’t manage it. Selfish bastard.

He laid there for a while when Finn contemplated on what to do; Rue was looking at the blinds now, wondering how it might feel to go stand out in the rain. Would it feel like he’d washed the hurt away? Take back what he’d done? No, nothing could do that… He also wondered if he should ask Finn if he knew how Oriel was doing through Phoenix, but if the older boy didn’t know what had happened, then Rue doubted Finn would know if Oriel had serious damage. Dammit… Why had he run away without at least calling an ambulance…??

He tensed again as Finn’s weight made the bed squeak. What was he doing…? Rue looked back in slight confusion, surprised that the older man was letting himself get so close. “Finn…?” And then the saturator’s arms were wrapping around him, and Rue was so thoroughly shocked for several long moments that he forgot to feel guilty and sick. Finn was… He was touching him…. How…? “You’re hurting yourself,” he accused quietly. That was when the tears started trailing down Rue’s cheeks, and he buried his face again with a small sob. “Y-you shouldn’t have to do this… I don’t want to hurt you…” Even if it was Finn’s choice, Rue was overwhelmed by his selflessness for him. “Why do I hurt people? Why can’t I control it?” he cried into the sheets. “I don’t want to hurt anyone…! Finn, why was I made like this…?” The floodgates were really breaking down now, and once they were open, it would be hard to stop them.

[Finn Eogeum]

Finn could only wonder for now who had been so unlucky to have ended up in Rue's way on what seemed to a day where nothing had gone in his favour or something. It must have been an atrocious set of circumstances for it to have ended this way, with someone presumably nursing wounds and Rue refusing to rejoin the rest of the world. Oddly enough, Finn didn't even assume for two seconds that Rue may have been provoked into acting the way he did. Why would anyone even do that? His best friend was such a caring, kind, supportive kind of person. No one would ever try and purposefully upset him.

Despite anything, Finn was fairly determined to never let Rue down. Like he'd said, Rue had been with him through so many rough times and they were still close. One slip-up (a big slip-up, mind) wasn't going to change anything. Rue was still Rue, and Rue still needed friends and support and even if he didn't want it Finn was going to force it onto him until he had to submit to having a friend.

He couldn't imagine what Rue had seen. It wasn't like Finn hadn't seen blood before or something, but in that manner... not like that. The saturator didn't like hearing his friend's voice deteriorate so much so that it just sounded... well, like it did. Broken. Empty. Scared. He knew how that felt, which was why it worried him so much. And there wasn't much Finn could say in reply. It could have been anyone. Didn't that stand for something? A lack of spite or true cruelty or something? Or was Finn just being delusional? He was like that a lot... he nodded at the thanks. "What friends are for." He said softly, deciding not to mention those other things for now. Maybe it was better to just let Rue get them off his chest? The second part he sighed at, "But it wouldn't work. What makes you think I would leave you like this?" He sounded condescending as he spoke, but only because it was obvious to him. What good friend deserted another when they clearly needed help?

Well... this was happening. Finn didn't know what had overtaken him to do this - bravery, selflessness, stupidity (he was convinced it was the last one) - but he was holding Rue. And no... no, this didn't feel any more comfortable than it had the last time. It wasn't like he was being held, but at the same time he was. Because whatever had made him do this didn't want him to let go, and he didn't want to let go, but he also didn't want to have a panic attack clinging to Rue when Rue needed comforting, not another thing to worry about. "Don't care." He said very quickly, not loosening his grip. Deep breaths, deeeeep breaths, he would manage if he just took deep breaths and didn't think about the moving, speaking human being next to him who had its own body heat and was crying---- c-crying? Finn buried his face into some part of his friend, his shoulder, back, chest, something, he was too distracted to tell. "Rue, you can't cry you k-know how sensitive I am." Rue crying would make him cry. And also, yes, resulting to selfish means, well done Finn. Internally, he was kicking himself.

Come on, words.... words...

Finn clung on tighter and did the only thing he could do when he was failing at words.

Singing. Like this was high school musical or something.

In Korean. Korean was more calming than English anyway. Though, he edited the lyrics a little bit...

I love you baby you're not a monster
Neon aljanha yejeon nae moseubeul
Shigani chinamyeon sarajyeo beoril tende
Keu ttaen al tende baby

I need you baby you're not a monster
Nal aljanha ireohke kajima neo majeo beorimyeon
Nan jugeobeoril tende
You're not a monster

He would continue until Rue stopped him or the song ended.

((NB: English trans for anyone interested (Monster by Big Bang)
I love you baby you're not a monster
You know how I was in the past
When time passes, it’ll all disappear
Then you will know baby

I need you baby you're not a monster
You know me so don’t leave like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
You're not a monster.))

[Deleted]

Hadn’t provoked him… Hah. Rue didn’t think Oriel’s pestering was an excuse for his violent outburst, but he doubted he would have lashed out if the boy hadn’t. He wondered if the kid was going to tell Phoenix… As though the pixie hadn’t been hurt by the aura reader enough already.

He knew Finn probably felt indebted to Rue for being there for him all the time, but really, to him, it wasn’t a big deal. Yeah, the saturator could get snippy and mean sometimes, but… But he didn’t threaten with violence. That’s why he had a hard time feeling like this was fair.

Was it possible to be traumatized by one’s own actions? It sure felt like it, considering how often the scene repeated itself in his head, how often he saw Oriel’s crumpled body lying there like it had just happened… “You’re… You’re my best friend,” he croaked out in response. “I don’t know anyone else that would do this for me…” Rue winced a little at what he said next, and shot him a glance; he would have smiled if he felt up to it. “… Alright,” he murmured. “I won’t ask you to leave… B-but if anything bad happens… Get out, alright?” He didn’t want to think he was capable of doing anything now, as mentally and emotionally (and physically) drained as he was, but Rue just didn’t think he could be too careful now… “I’d never forgive myself it anything happened to you. You’re… You’re too precious to me, alright?” He felt such a strong urge to reach out and touch Finn’s cheek, but he didn’t for a number of reasons.

But one of those reasons seemed to be pointless as Finn held him. Surely he was uncomfortable and hating it, right? Then why was he…? “Finn…” he breathed into the sheets. “… I care…” But being held also felt so good, so relieving, that he didn’t argue against it anymore. He tried not to move, lest he make it any harder for the saturator, despite the fact that he just wanted to roll over and curl up inside his friend’s embrace. This would have to be enough. And it was, really, considering its source. That’s why Rue finally allowed himself to break down and release some of the emotions he’d kept bottled up these past several days as he tried to cope (and failed). “I’m sorry…” he sniffled, attempting to stop the flow of tears and also failing. “I can’t s-stop… I just…” Another sob wracked his voice. When was the last time he had cried? Rue didn’t remember. He was so adamant about keeping all of his emotions in check, not just anger, that he managed to usually keep himself from breaking down like this. “I’m sorry…” Apologizing seemed like all he was capable of doing. There was so much to be sorry for.

And then…

Rue’s sobs got quieter when he became aware of the soft, sweet melody of Finn’s voice. It was such a rare and treasured thing to experience, he couldn’t let himself miss it. When he realized his friend was singing in Korean, though, and he began understanding the words, it made him want to cry even more. Rue didn’t stop him, didn’t say a word, until the song was over. His crying had calmed somewhat, though there was still a trickle of silent tears coursing down his cheeks. “…. Thank you, Finn…” he breathed. “Thank you…” Rue attempted to roll over slightly so he could look at his best friend in the eyes. He was sure he looked like a wreck, but he didn’t care. “…. I’m hungry. And thirsty,” he admitted quietly, eyes downcast. “I’ve… barely gotten out of bed since…” He felt very guilty and ashamed for admitting these things. Andromeda hopped up on the bed then, crawling over Finn to curl up on the lump that was Rue. “… Hey sweetie…” he murmured, scratching behind her ears. Maybe things might be okay… maybe….

[Finn Eogeum]

Emotions were as painful, if not, more painful than physical pain in Finn's opinion. This came mainly from the fact that you could get a cut or a bruise or something and it would fade, but he felt emotions too strongly to ignore how much they could affect a person.

Finn's brow furrowed a little at the comment Rue made, "Well... you don't have many decent friends then." Okay, so his more inappropriate side was coming out now (a comment like that probably wasn't about to help Rue in this condition), but he really didn't know it. Finn was just confused. If you were friends with someone, surely that meant you should be willing to look out for them? He really didn't understand people sometimes. He listened to Rue's proposal and thought. The last part definitely made him soften and almost inclined him to lie about his intentions... but he didn't like lying, and he knew Rue didn't like him lying... he fell silent. "How am I precious?" Casual subject change. "I'm not like a diamond or something. You're weird." Because blaming Rue's sanity over a compliment was much better than saying he wouldn't leave even if Rue did flip again.

"You're only complaining c-cos I'm doing it, so shush." He retorted back. "I-If you think I h-hate this, I don't, I hate the consequences of it." Did that make sense? Even if this wasn't the time to delve into it, he was talking about it. He was glad Rue wasn't moving. That would make this a lot harder to tough it out through. And he hated that sound. Rue sobbing. Finn found himself sniffing, and found his eyes watering slightly, and he hated it. And he still couldn't find words, which was why he sang. It was just easier. Music was his emotional release. He was glad it was working. The soft notes were for himself too, and the song wasn't perfect, definitely not, he was sniffing and shaking a little throughout, but it wasn't bad or anything. Finn wasn't a bad singer.

Yeah.... yeah, Rue didn't look good. Which encouraged Finn not to move away the moment Rue shifted. He needed this, he needed it, it was helping... yes, it was. Rue was being honest now. Honesty was useful. Finn managed to look back at him a little before hiding his own eyes, struggling too much to try and continue another kind of contact. At everything Rue said, Finn nodded a little, pushing away a few moments after the kitty was on Rue to slide onto the ground next to the bed, all curled up, throat seized up, breathing deep for the time being. After a few long moments, he swallowed and coughed, getting up very shakily, draping against a wall, "I-I... I'm gonna..." No, his brain had not enjoyed that experience. He curled over a little, taking some more breaths. Okay.

Okay. Think. You and me, brain. We can do this. For Rue. Come on.

He vaguely recovered, straightening up, looking at the opposite wall. "...I'm gonna make you some food. I'll... I'll get the stuff from my house. It'll take a while but... while I'm cooking, you have to drink at least a pint of water, have a shower and wash and stuff, talk to your cats or something and... and open all the blinds and...." Man, Vicky made this seem easy. "...and if I see you in this bed when I get back you're not getting any bibim." As in bibimbap. With that, Finn nodded, more to himself. This was what Vicky did on Finn's rough days. Forced him up with activities. It worked almost every time. He headed out a little sluggishly, grabbing his bag and his coat and... he dashed back into the bedroom and threw the plushie he'd made at Rue, wherever he was, "And name this guy okay bye!" And with that, he left and headed home again to get ingredients.

[Deleted]

“I guess I don’t…” Rue breathed quietly. He had friends, sure, but… none of them had checked in with him like Finn had. They didn’t really have a reason. Finn knew him, knew his habits and patterns, and had come over when he realized those were off for a while. No one else knew him that well. He did notice how his best friend didn’t linger on the ‘get out’ thing and instead focused on something very Finn-like. Rue almost smiled. “You’re precious because there’s no one else like you,” he murmured quietly. “Especially no one that I know. You might as well be a diamond.”

He hated the quakiness in Finn’s voice, hated that it was touching Rue that was the cause of it. He would do anything if it meant letting his friend be able to hold and touch people without panicking. “I know you do…” Rue said softly, his voice filled with guilt. “I’m sorry….” He had to apologize for everything. The singing, though… It helped calm him down, even if it wasn’t perfect. It was perfect to him, and that was all that mattered. “You should sing more often…” he murmured. “For me, at least…” Because he was selfish and would love to hear that sweet voice again.

It was really taking an extreme amount of effort not to wrap his arms around Finn like a teddy bear and just keep holding him like Rue wanted to. He went quiet after his admissions, and didn’t move as Finn released himself and slid to the floor. “Finn?” he murmured anxiously. “Are… Are you alright?” His worried gaze followed his friend as he stood, hoping he would recover quickly. Fortunately he seemed to, somewhat, so Rue slowly allowed himself to relax again.

… Until Finn started hammering off orders like some sort of army sergeant. Rue blinked in surprise and stared at him until he was finished; the promise of bibimbap made him start to salivate. “… Yes, sir,” he promised quietly with the smallest of smiles. Rue started to push himself weakly out of bed, until he was hit by… Something small and soft. He looked down to see the plushie in his lap. “… Thanks, Finn,” he murmured, looking up at his friend again. “For… Everything.”

And then Finn was gone, and Rue did his best to do what he had instructed. He opened a few blinds, took a slow, warm shower (which he definitely needed and felt a good deal better after), and would be sitting at his counter drinking some water at a slow but steady pace for a good while. Sinbad was perched beside him, seemingly relieved that his human was no longer being a useless lump in his bed, and the monster that Finn had left him was sitting nearby as well. “He’d laugh at me if I named it after him,” Rue muttered, tugging on the long sleeve of his (clean) sweater. “So I’ll call you… Lyra,” he determined after a while, to go with his habit of naming things after constellations. It fit how he felt after hearing Finn sing. Speaking of Finn… Rue hoped he would come back soon, because he was starting to droop a little again, and his bed still sounded so inviting to his guilt-ridden head…

[Finn Eogeum]

Finn knew he relied on Rue quite heavily. He was some parts independent, but he had a feeling that without someone like his best friend being around, he wouldn't have the confidence and happiness he'd managed to attain, despite his situation. With the aid of the correct medication and the support he had from Rue and others, Finn was managing to be and stay more like himself. It was one of the most refreshing things in the world. "A diamond in the rough you mean. And that's just because I'm weird and you have no friends." He didn't view himself as special, except from maybe in the mentally delusional way. And... of course Rue had friends. Finn was just the best one. Heh.

"Why are you apologising? Don't be s-stupid." It wasn't like Rue had control over how Finn's body acted. The saturator could have stopped this if he really wanted to, but to him, it was worth the suffer. The selfless implications were lost on him. He was about to respond saying that he did sing on a somewhat regular basis, but at the second part, Finn nodded slowly, "I can." Practice was good anyway.

Finn waved absently when Rue asked about his wellbeing. It was obvious enough, and he would recover, he just... ahh.... another minute...

The older one looked pretty serious, nodding as Rue gave an affirmative to what he'd been told to do. He was about to dash off when he heard Rue speak again, and hesitated, before looking at him, "...you deserve better than what I can give you, but I'll accept your thanks anyway." He said slowly, with a short nod, before disappearing.

When at home and confronted by a certain older sister (whilst sopping wet - someone didn't put his coat back on), he quickly and briefly explained the situation. Vicky asked if she should come too, but Finn told her not to. When asked why, he said that Rue needed space. Whether this was true or not... it didn't matter. Maybe Rue would have appreciated Vicky being there, but Finn didn't care. He wanted to do something for Rue by himself for once. After quick scrounging and the collect of a few more plushies, just for company, he departed again, with a larger bag on his back than last time, only putting his coat on this time because Vicky yelled at him to.

Finn returned and opened the door slowly, without knocking, slightly out of breath from jogging part of the way back. He saw Rue and bounced on his toes gleefully, glad to see him and not laid down. "Hey hey." He said quickly, plopping down the bag on the counter and peeling off his coat, letting out a full body shiver before going towards the kitchen and unpacking the goods, as well as throwing the other plushies at Rue, "Whatdja name it?" He asked brightly, glowing despite his coldness, "And what've you done?" Just to make sure Rue had been making progress. He wouldn't lie. Finn laid everything out, remembered what he was doing and set on task.

After a while, whilst cutting vegetables, he would begin singing softly. A different Korean song, but still just as sweet.

[Deleted]

Deserved better than what Finn could give? Rue’s best friend had no idea what he was saying. Sure, he may not have been able to hold and comfort the aura reader like another might, but the fact that he was trying so damn hard and going out of his comfort zone to try and make Rue feel better was really special. Being under the care of someone like Finn made one really appreciative of the little things.

He enjoyed Vicky’s company, but would be glad if he knew Finn had told her not to come along. Rue could hardly take the company of one person, let alone two. And he could imagine the reprimands he might get from her over the whole situation… Well, maybe she wouldn’t reprimand him in his current state, but still. He just wanted Finn.

He looked back as the door opened again, hearing Finn’s hard breath and frowning. “Did you run back?” he asked softly, his voice worried. “You didn’t need to do that… I’m alright…” Well, he was out of bed, at least; that didn’t mean he was alright. He also noticed that Finn was wet and remembered that it had been raining out. “… I… Finn…” Rue stammered to know what to say. He just watched as his friend seemed to happily go about his business. “Do… Do you want some dry clothes, or something, at least?” The coat couldn’t have kept him completely dry, right? He blinked and tried to catch the other plushies as they were thrown at him; one landed near Sinbad and the cat batted it off the counter playfully. Rue leaned over to pick it up as his friend asked about his own plushie. “Lyra,” he replied with a faint smile. “Because of your singing.” He took the handmade gift in his hand and felt his chest ache all over again. “Mm…. I did everything you told me to, sir,” Rue replied with just the slightest of teases. He didn’t really feel like being that way, but he was putting up the effort for Finn’s sake.

Rue bit his lip as he watched Finn work, feeling guilty that all he was doing was sitting there like a useless lump. For a while, he just listened to his friend singing, but he felt himself starting to doze off because of the sweet notes. “Can…. Can I help with anything?” he asked quietly. He wasn’t exactly a good cook, but… Surely he could do something, right?

[Finn Eogeum]

Rue was delusional. Effort was whatever unless it actually helped, and... okay... okay yeah, he had kinda helped, but he was no Vicky, who was actually trained to do this kind of thing well. He was just some dope who never understood anyone else. Rue was just a weird exception to that, and he was dumb.

"Shuddup, I wanted to run, so I ran." Finn's lungs weren't happy with the sudden exercise, considering he definitely wasn't the most fit person on the planet, but Finn was happy to be back, and happy to see Rue sat up, and not all slumped and sad. "You didn't look okay twenty minutes ago." Saying it as it was. Rue was usually that diligent with Finn (but less energetic), the favour was just being returned, again. At the question, Finn looked down at himself, then at Rue, then himself, then sneezed. "Yes." He said quickly, "But not right now." Right now he needed to cook, and while more things were cooking, he could get different clothes. The name... "...hmph." Finn said, "Better than my idea." He named everything he made. He tilted his head at the plushie, "Looks more like a Lyra than an Amber." Finn didn't notice the tease, he just thought he was being regarded well, "Good." He slowed down for a couple moments to look at Rue before continuing.

At the question, Finn's melody slowly dissipated as he thought. The stuff he brought - it wasn't only for the bibimbap. He began scavenging around Rue's cupboard, producing flour, salt and a bowl. He quickly measured them both and some water and put all of them in the bowl - he was obviously used to the process. He pushed the bowl over to Rue and held out a wooden spoon which he'd grabbed at... some point... "Mix until it's a lump. I'll finish it. Unless you wanna knead it too." And with that, he was back to preparing other things, now bringing a bowl of mince beef over to the stove top, which sizzled in a wok happily a minute or so later. "You like mandu too." He confirmed, not asking, but stating. That was what Rue was mixing - the wrapping dough stuff.

[Deleted]

Honestly, Rue just needed someone there to get him out of bed and get his mind off of the endless loop of guilt and depression, and Finn had so far succeeded at that, so he was definitely helping. He wasn’t cured or anything, for certain, but he was better at the moment.

No matter what Finn said, Rue still felt bad that his friend thought he needed to run there. “If you say so…” he said meekly. He kept fiddling with Lyra, taking comfort in the softness. Rue didn’t feel like he deserved to be spoiled like this, but it would be rude to say so, after all the effort Finn was putting into it. “… You’re right. I didn’t,” he sighed. “… And I’m still not completely okay. But I’m better, thanks to you.” He watched his friend as he sneezed, and frowned some more. “I swear, if you get sick because of me…” he lamented quietly. He hoped Finn would have the sense to change soon, because Rue would feel even guiltier if his friend got a cold. Still, he managed a tiny smile at Finn’s words. “Amber is a nice name too,” he replied gently. The aura reader was just partial to constellation-related names.

Rue kept watching and drinking water as Finn worked. He was always impressed by his friend’s cooking, and often wished he could be treated to homemade food more often, but of course he wouldn’t just ask for that. He would just live off of frozen burritos and cereal and stuff until he finally (hopefully) learned how to make his own food. When he was handed the bowl and spoon, Rue blinked, then took both with his large hands. “Okay. Um, I don’t mind kneading,” he replied quietly. His fingers were good for it, at least. The younger man went to work, doing just as Finn had said, and looked up when his friend finally explained what it was. His expression lit up slightly. “Mandu too?” he said softly. “Finn… You’re too generous…” Just as quickly, he felt his eyes dampen with emotion. “… Thank you.” I don’t deserve this. When he was done kneading, Rue handed the bowl back over silently and wiped at his eyes. “… Sorry… I won’t cry, I promise.”

[Finn Eogeum]

“I do say so!” Finn responded confidently, “Stop worrying, I’m supposed to be worrying about you and you’re supposed to start feeling a bit better. It doesn’t work if you start worrying about me.” Finn would know. He also knew Lyra was very well made – he had double checked and triple checked all the stitching before stuffing her up, so that monster wasn’t falling apart any time soon – hopefully like Rue. “Good. I’m actually doing this right.” Why was it such a surprise to the saturator? He had no idea. “I’m not sick, I’m just cold and wet.” Which could lead to being sick… but that wasn’t important. Rue was the important one here – he needed to stop changing the subject. “It is. I like gem names.” Amber, Garnet, Ruby, all those kinds of names were really nice sounding. Hardly knew what the actual jewels looked like, but hey, that wasn’t too important.

If Rue requested homemade food, Finn would probably become a regular caterer for him. He knew his food was good at least eighty percent of the time, so of course he would offer his services. However, teaching wasn’t up his alleyway. No, Finn would just get frustrated and finish it off himself, or he’d get embarrassed and leave it all half done. Ah well, at least he wasn’t teaching, just directing. “Okay.” And so Finn left Rue to knead out the dumpling dough a little. He rolled his eyes, “I’m not generous, I’m hungry.” This was all enough for two people, after all. “And I want mandu.” If Rue wanted to call it generosity, he could. He’d just be wrong as wrong was. As he took the bowl and studied its contents, Finn took a second to study Rue as well. “Hm. Don’t.”

He began moving things about and rolling out the dough, “I mean, don’t promise that. Crying isn’t a bad thing, idiot.” Crying helped sometimes, Finn knew. Speaking of things Finn knew, he knew he needed to get changed, as he sneezed off to the side again. “I don’t have a cold.” He said quickly, “Make sure nothing burns, I’ll be right back!” And with that, he dashed off into Rue’s bedroom. If Rue wanted to cry by himself for whatever reason, now would be a good time.

About three minutes later, Finn returned, wearing considerably baggy clothes. “Your room’s a bit messy.” Which totally wasn’t Finn’s fault, nooooo…. He quickly returned to his cooking, even though his hair was still damp. It was starting to smell really good in there…