Sobbing, Shaking, Slightly Drunk [Kiara]

[Gabriel James]

Gabriel James had a personal rule that he didn't cry in front of anybody. He made that promise to himself when he was 9 and had only broke it once since in front of his ex girlfriend Mikayla. She was blind, though, so he wasn't sure it counted. He didn't want anyone to call him out on his weaknesses the way his family did. He never got away with crying in front of his father without being criticized - even after he broke his arm when he was 8. He needed surgery and was in incredible amounts of pain, but his father still belittled him any time tears formed in his eyes.

So Gabe made his personal rule to not cry in front of anyone. And better yet, if there was a shower nearby, he'd just go and cry in there. No one looked twice if your face was wet after coming out of a shower. The habit had followed him to his adulthood, and today he was probably taking it to a new level.

He hadn't quite figured out how to coupe with the news he'd gotten the previous night, just past one in the morning. It started by drinking a full handle of rum, and staring at the TV which Gabe didn't dare turn on in fear of waking up his roommate. He was trying to convince himself he was dreaming. That there was no way what he'd been told could be real. Everett did appear at one point around 3am to use the bathroom, and by that point Gabe had finished off four beers and a half bottle of wine as well. He didn't take his gaze away from the TV because he felt a lump rising in his throat and tears threatening to spill over. He took a three hour long shower once he was convinced Everett was asleep again.

Gabe didn't manage to get any sleep. He nearly cleared out the shelf of alcohol they'd had in the fridge, and empty bottles littlered the house. It seemed like Gabe just wandered and let his empty bottles fall where they may. Everett asked if he was ok in the morning, and even though he definitely wasn't Gabe choked down some sobs and forced a half smile to convince the blonde. "Just a bit hungover," he claimed - which would be true if he wasn't still a little drunk. While Everett wasn't looking he slipped into the bathroom and threw himself into the shower, ignoring the fact that he was still wearing his plaid pajama bottoms and a white undershirt - now completely transparent. He sat in the tub and let the water flow over him, trying to keep his cries below the volume of the water. That was until he heard the front door close, and lock - then the floodgates opened. Sobs tore through the man's body. He hugged himself and curled up on his side, shaking more and more as time passed partially because the water grew colder and colder. A half hour later, he still found himself lying in the tub, sobbing, shaking, and slightly drunk. And he didn't really have any plans on changing that any time soon. God forbid Everett walk back in and see him this way.

[Deleted]

No specific plans had been made that day. No classes took place, so Kiara's intention was to sleep in and to see how productive she could make herself around the apartment. Of course this equation didn't include Everett calling his sister that morning, sounding rather worried and informing her about how he had left his place not too long ago: with Gabriel roaming around like a zombie and with empty bottles of alcohol scattered all over the floors. The girl wasn't too sure how to feel about that. The first emotion that overtook her was disappointment. Concern followed soon after. Anger joined the group within the same five minutes. What on earth was Gabe doing with his life?!

Ki's initial reaction was to ask her brother what he expected her to do. Because, seriously, how was this any of her business? When he displayed his intention for her to go over, refusal followed. She wasn't Gabe's babysitter. None of that lasted long though. By the end of the conversation, which was merely a few minutes long, the Lilien sibling mumbled: "I'll go check on him." The gratitude her brother expressed compensated for some of the annoyance, but the rest lingered and continued to do so after the girl had gathered her wallet and cellphone to head over to the other apartment.

With the bus being delayed, Kiara wondered if it would have been better had she just gone by foot. About half an hour after the call she did arrive though, using a spare key to allow herself into the building. Within a minute, the blonde entered the apartment which her brother shared with Gabriel. She made sure to lock the door behind her - force of habit - and then emerged further into the space. It was at that point that a frown appeared on her face, detecting the bottles laying around. She considered calling out the the man, but the chance of him sleeping off the alcohol was real. Instead Ki picked up a couple of the bottles, placing them down on a nearby table, along with her belongings. Her jacket was placed over one of the chairs.

"Gabriel?" The young woman called out after having peeked her head into the kitchen. No one there. And while the faint sound of water running did reach her ears, Kiara opted to check the bedrooms first. No fool either. "Gabe?" Voice raised in volume, knuckles met the door as she knocked on it. Then she waited, patiently, but seemingly to no avail. So, during the second attempt, her other hand settled on the handle, opening it up just an inch to hopefully help her words reach the man. "Gabe, are you in here? Are you dressed? You okay?"

Doubtful, but it was worth asking. Technically Ki could just enter. She had seen him buttnaked already.

[Gabriel James]

Gabe had honestly not heard Kiara come into the apartment. He stayed in his position, letting the cold water hit him, only moving once he heard his name being called. He jumped a bit - scared at first since he was so sure he was alone. He sat up suddenly, but didn't make a sound, trying to rapidly steady his breathing. He didn't dare answer the woman's call just yet, knowing it would come out struggled and choked, assuming he could find his voice at all.

He hugged his knees and listened to her footsteps, reaching forward to quietly turn off the running water just as Ki was knocking at the door. He squeezed his eyes shut and wished himself away with no luck. He turned the water all the way off so the blonde could stop shouting. "Yeah I'm in here..." the man finally said, at first doing a pretty good job at covering the fact he'd been crying, though the strength died off toward the end of his statement.

"I'm ... uh.. fine. I'm fine," he suggested, throwing open the shower curtain, not realizing Kiara had opened the door a crack. His plan was to strip down and wash his face of its redness, leaving the bathroom in his robe so perhaps the blonde wouldn't think much of anything, take care of whatever she was here for and be on her way. But that plan was dashed when Gabe realized Kiara was looking at him through the cracked door, standing fully clothed in the tub, white shirt clinging to his chest, and soaking pajama pants slipping off his hips from the weight of the water. His face broke a little, seeing her standing there, just through the inch of the door, but he turned away and grabbed a towel to throw over his head before she could see the tears in his eyes. He wiped his face, and rubbed the towel on his head to dry his hair. "Uhm.. wh... what are you doing here?" the man managed to eek out, still not willing to look the blonde directly in the eye in fear of breaking down in front of her.

[Deleted]

While Kiara did detect the little struggle for him to finish the answer with the same tone, she didn't think too much of it. He was in the shower after all. She was even about to accept those words and the fact that the look on his face was not the happiest one out there. Whatever was going on quite probably was none of her business. Therefore Gabriel's attempt could have been successful, had it not been for the soaked clothes clinging to his body. God knows what he might have been thinking, convinced that grabbing a towel would solve it all, but Ki wasn't blind. It was everything but normal for someone to get out of the shower in we clothes.

Her hand left the door, not opening it even further, but she remained right where she was. A frown arched an eyebrow, allowing a bad feeling to slowly sneak up on her. Should the young woman tell the truth? Would Gabe feel offended that Everett asked his sister to check up on him? "I... Ev was worried." Blue eyes drifted through the inch of the door, attempting to catch a good glance at him. Kiara had every right to assume something was wrong at this point, but she remained cautious when it came to doing so, hence the reason an attempt at fishing was made. In turn it should also make it clear that rubbing a towel over his face and hair was not covering a single thing.

"Why... are you wearing clothes in the shower, Gabe?" Her heart broke at the sight. The man might not be making eye contact, but his appearance said more than tearful eyes might. Her forehead was practically meeting the surface of the door as she peeked inside. Pushing it open some more could be judged to be invasive and she wasn't sure he would appreciate it, but at the same time Kiara wanted to be as close to him as possible. "A-are you sure you're fine?" The hand drifted up again that that point. Fingerstips just barely caressed the door, but it was enough for it to smooth open another inch.

[Gabriel James]

Gabe glanced at himself in the mirror when he heard Everett was worried. Of course he was, but it probably was because of all the alcohol Gabe had stupidly consumed the night before. Ev didn't know what was going on in Gabe's head - how would he? He wished he had it in him to explain the pain he was feeling to his best friend, but he wasn't even able to face it himself just yet. He only just started crying about the matter when he hit the shower a bit over an hour ago. His eyes were extremely bloodshot, seemingly every little blood vessel coming to the surface. He glanced a bit at Kiara as she came just a bit further in, but tore his gaze away again before she saw what he was looking at in the mirror.

Her question was completely valid, of course. Gabe wasn't even entirely sure he had an answer. He shrugged, mouth hanging open a bit while he tried to formulate some sort of excuse, but none came to him. Then the question that broke him completly - 'Are you sure you're fine'. Gabe hung his head, keeping his hands firmly on the sides of the sink while he tried to muck up the courage to say something, anything, that might tell Kiara what was going on. No sound escaped him though. He squeezed his eyes, and pursed his lips for a moment, tears looming once more, as he shook his head indicating 'no' he was not fine.

He let go of the sink, and squatted down to the floor, sitting himself in the small space between the tub and the counter. He burried his face in the towel again, shaking his head once more. "Nuh-Nuh-No..." he uttered in what was barely above a whisper. " 'm...'m not ok," he admitted out loud, even though his voice was muffled, lost in the fabric he was hiding behind. No one had seen him cry since he was a boy. He still felt the need to hide, even in this time where more than anything he needed some sort of support. He wasn't going to be able to get through these emotions alone, no matter how much he wanted to. Every habit the man had was telling him to lie, to get Kiara to leave before she saw him at his worst. But he couldn't fight it this time around. He couldn't physically bring himself to put a smile on his face and pretend.

[Deleted]

Gabriel didn't need to speak for Kiara to catch on to something being wrong. His body language said more than words ever could. So when he went down to the floor, it practically was a scream for help. The blonde was quick to react, immediatly pushing the door wide open before getting down on her knees right in front of him. Hands didn't hesitate to settle on the man's knees, simply because instinct was taking over. No sound left her lips during the first couple of seconds. Instead eyes saddened and fingertips pressed just a tad bit harder into the soaked plaid fabric of his pajama bottoms. Only when the time felt right to speak up did the girl do so.

"Gabe... Hey." Her right hand reached out, slowly hooking fingers behind the towel that was covering the upper part of his face. Kiara wasn't going to be rough and demanding about it. Instead she opted for a gentle approach, only tugging at it lightly in an attempt to peel the layer away. "Gabe, sweetie, look at me. Please." Leaning forward at that point, the young woman's voice maintained a low volume, filled with care and concern. "Talk to me." It wasn't a request to hear him speak; the meaning behind those words - and her intention - was for him to tell her what was wrong.

Her left hand joined in at that point, settling on his right one to make it easier to remove the towel from his pained features. Still, there was no force to it. She wanted to let him do this at his own pace - with some help and encouragement of course. "Don't shut me out again. Let me be here for you. Let me help you... please." Practically pleading, a small sigh followed afterwards. Perhaps this wasn't what he wanted. Perhaps he wanted her to leave. Why else pretend there was nothing wrong at first? "I'm not leaving until you tell me." She added as blue eyes searched the back of his hands and towel.

[Gabriel James]

Gabe was definitely not used to such a gentle hand in response to his emotion, though to be fair it had been ages since anyone had the chance to react to it at all. And even if she begged for him to look at her, he couldn't find it in himself to show his face just yet. In his mind the tears falling from his eyes made him somehow less of a man. Less worthy of any sort of affection. Of course Kiara wouldn't understand. How could she? There was so much she didn't know about the man and his vices.

Though those conversations would have to wait for another time. Because none of it was on the forefront of Gabriel's mind. His breathing staggered while the blonde peeled some of the towel away from Gabe's face, his wet hair now dripping onto his forehead and down to his cheeks. His eyes squeezed shut as the blonde pulled his hand with the towel away from his face. His fists clenched as if he were bracing himself for some sort of punch or blow, though in reality he was trying to muster up whatever he had in him to say what she needed to say.

He hadn't admitted it out loud yet, and his mouth hung open slightly as he grasped at the words. The pain in his chest kept rising at just the though of saying it out loud. No amount of pleading or comforting words or touches from Kiara would make it any easier to say out loud. "it...i...it's McKenna... she...sh..she..." he couldn't even finish the sentence. Though his brain knew refusing to say it out loud wouldn't make it any less true, he couldn't say that McKenna was gone. Just saying her name sent a shooting pain through the man's chest, and he folded in on himself again, not able to refrain from sobbing in front of Kiara anymore. Surely she could put two and two together at this point, and see this wasn't just another random drunken charade.

[Deleted]

Even if Gabriel would be throwing a tantrum right now, it was not going to change the way Kiara approached him. But the man was right to assume that she wouldn't understand. In her opinion it was quite a feat when men were capable of exposing themselves as vulnerable. It showed their emotions; it showed a big part of being human. She didn't like it when people tried to pretend nothing wzs wrong. To her, being able to show tears wasn't a weakness - it was a strength. It made her care for him even more... Even if that might not be what Gabe wanted.

The pleading tone continued to lace her words, until the man made the effort to say what was wrong. Gabriel might not have been looking at her, but features fell as it required no more than a second for her to put A and B together. "No..." She breathed out, quiet and helpless while shaking her head. Kiara wanted to state that it couldn't be true, that it must be a mistake, but the man's current condition made it quite impossible to question reality. Instead of speaking, the blonde shuffled closer, tears pushing through to glaze her eyes. She didn't care if the narrow space between the tub and counter might not have been made for two persons to sit in, because she was squeezing herself in between, no matter what.

Nor did Kiara care that hugging the man would soak her clothes as well. Sitting on her knees, both arms managed to wrap around Gabriel's shoulders. She brought her forehead to his left temple before pulling back just enough to plant the softest of kisses there. Then, without applying any force, the college student gently pulled him closer. '"I'm so sorry, Gabe. I am so so so sorry."

A shaky inhale of her own joined his sobs after that. "I would do anything to turn back time. Anything to make sure you're happy." Fingers soothingly began to rake through his wet locks. Words didn't feel right at that point; affection and silence usually said more during moments like this. Hopefully being there for him would make a difference. She was there for him; she hoped Gabe could accept that.

[Gabriel James]

It was much too late for Gabe to run from what was happening, so he reluctantly accepted it. when Kiara wrapped her arms around his shoulders, the man found himself turning his head and crying into the woman's shoulder. He'd later feel incredibly embarrassed about the fact that he was leaving tear stains on her shirt, but right now that wasn't his concern, nor was the fact he was still soaking wet from the shower. And now, of course, Kiara was too.

As she pulled him closer, Gabe found his own arms wrapping around the blonde, moving to hold onto her as if she'd disappear when he let go. It was certainly a new sensation for Gabe, but he knew he needed someone for once. He needed Kiara, and here she was willing to put up with him. Gabe barely heard the words Kiara was saying over the sound of his own thoughts and his own heartbeat. So he didn't respond. He couldn't if he wanted to anyway.

He continued to cry, holding onto Kiara like his life depended on it, for what could have been hours in his mind - though in reality just moments passed. The man managed to calm down as much as one could given the circumstances. "I'm S... sorry," the man muttered into Kiara's shoulder, one hand letting go of her to wipe his face before returning to its spot. Sorry for what? He wasn't sure. It just seemed like he needed to say it. What else was there to say? He'd soaked her clothes and now she was crying too... she didn't deserve that.

[Deleted]

The second Gabriel's 'surrender' became clear, the embrace tightened. No more tension, no more fear of being pushed away. Instead Kiara allowed herself to fully comfort the man. The hugs were genuine, full of emotions, as well as fear of letting go. Fingers tangled through soaked locks as his face buried into her shoulder, holding onto him tightly while multiple times whispering something along the lines of: I'm here - or - it's okay. Not that the cause of this situation was okay though. It simply was okay for Gabe to cry, to express the pain like this.

If anything, the blonde didn't expect him to apologize. Heck, she didn't want him to. So when he did, the smallest of sighs broke free, eyes momentarily closed and another peck was pressed to the side of the man's head. "Don't you dare to apologize, Gabe. Don't you dare." After that, silence on her part snuck in again. Ki stayed like that for a couple more moments before pulling back just far enough to detect the towel.

Plucking it from the floor, she gently drapped it over Gabriel's shoulders without fully breaking the contact. He should probably get out of the soaked clothes, but she still dreaded letting go of him. "I am not going anywhere." The young woman reassured him, barely above a whisper as her head dipped forward, settling the palm of her hand on one of his tear-soaked cheeks. Blue eyes searched his pained features, only to settle on his darker pair. "I know there is nothing for me to say that will make it any easier... but know that I'm here for you, okay? Always."

[Gabriel James]

Gabe had never had someone comfort him in this way. And while it didn't feel totally natural, he didn't even think about letting go. He somehow felt like if he leg go, Kiara would disappear. Or he would disappear. She was keeping him grounded even though he felt like he was losing it.

Gabe couldn't respond to Kiara after she insisted he not apologize. He felt he had every reason to. She was here on the dirty bathroom floor coming soaked with the water dripping off his own person - just because he couldn't handle his emotions. He kept his head hung in sadness and shame, not quite being able to make eye contact with Kiara as she leaned back and grabbed a towel.

He felt the towel being draped around his shoulders, and then a palm on his cheek. Only then his gaze raised a bit, meeting Kiara's blue eyes, flecked with tears like his own. Seeing this created a lump in Gabe's throat which made him want to cry more, and cry harder. But he resisted it with just a hitch in his breath. He pursed his lips and nodded in response to Kiara's next statement, still trying holding back as many tears as possible. He opened his mouth to speak, but it took a couple moments for anything to come out. When something did, the only thing Gabe could say was "...You're all wet..." in an apologetic tone. She told him not to say sorry, so he wouldn't. But he definitely was.

[Deleted]

With a barely audible sad chuckle, Kiara used her thumb to smooth away some of his tears. "That's the last thing I care about," she told him when it came to being soaked. He was her main priority. And so, after a soft exhale, the young woman moved both hands to rub the towel through his hair. Even if she were to get him in dry clothes, those dark curls would keep dripping it she didn't dry them first. Once they were poking in every possible direction, Ki judged that step to be completed.

"Come on," she spoke softly while pushing herself up from the cramped space, holding out a hand for him to take and to pull him back to his feet. Kiara wouldn't force Gabe; she wanted the man to feel comfortable enough to do so, for him to trust her taking good care of him. "We'll find some dry clothes." It would probably dissolve his feelings of guilt some. The catch was that he had to get changed as well, seeing more hugs were more than definitely to ensue. "Wouldn't want you to catch a cold."

Locating his room was no problem, and she didn't seem to be hesitant when it came to rummaging through the man's closet and drawers. The extra towel that she had grabbed in the bathroom had been dumped on his bed. Soon a dry shirt and sweatpants followed, along with some underwear. Kiara seemed to be moving around without a second thought. Within seconds, the blonde was standing before the man again and peeling the white shirt from his torso. The towel smoothed over his skin and then she was pulling the dry shirt over his head. Only after adjusting the fabric did the girl's self-awareness seem to return.

"You... can get those on yourself, right?" Ki asked after taking the sweatpants and boxers from the matress, handing them over to him. "I'll... you know, find a dry shirt for me..." Which hopefully he wouldn't mind. Either way, she hoped she wasn't forcing her presence on him. She just couldn't help but want to be there.

[Gabriel James]

Gabe was pretty much in a haze from the moment Kiara helped him stand on the bathroom floor until she was peeling off his shirt in his bedroom. There was nothing about it that was sexual or suggestive, but it still brought a slight flush to Gabe's face. Luckily it was already quite red from crying and the fact that he hadn't shaved in some time left his cheeks somewhat hidden. He came too completely when Kiara asked if he could take care of the pants himself. "Oh... yeah..." he said, as if reality of what had just happened hit him. He felt slightly embarrassed that he couldn't even really take care of himself. But he was glad someone was willing to.

When Kiara turned away, Gabe peeled the wet pants and underwear away from his body, gasping slightly at the cold air on his damp skin. He wrapped the towel around his middle section as he removed the clothing, to be sure that Kiara didn't accidentally see anything that might make them both uncomfortable. Not that it was anything she hadn't seen before... but Gabe didn't really want to think about that at the moment. He slipped on the dry boxers, and threw the towel to the side before pulling on the sweatpants as well. "I'm decent," he managed to say, even though his throat was still mostly closed and his mind was still reeling. He pick up the wet clothes and threw them into his laundry basket, not even thinking about the fact that his entire room would smell damp and moldy by the following morning.

He turned and looked at Kiara who was looking through his drawers for dry clothes of her own. "...Thank you," he said softly and wholeheartedly, not having much else in him to say.

[Deleted]

By the time Gabriel turned, fully dressed, Kiara had just picked out a plain shirt and sweatpants. Lips curled just enough to grant him a soft smile. Sadness overruled it though. "You're welcome." What else was there to say? She didn't want the man to thank her. Nothing was required in return for the comfort the girl provided. It felt right to be there for him, and she knew there was no other place in the world where she would want to be right now.

Either way, soon a hand rose and her index finger drew an invisible circle in the air, wordlessly requesting him to turn around for a moment. "Could you..?" The question didn't get asked fully, simply because the blonde was positive Gabe would catch on. Once he did, her own outfit got replaced by a dry set of clothes. Hers had not been as soaked as the fabric clinging to Gabriel's body just a couple of counts ago, but it still felt pleasant to have the current ones on. After having folded her own clothes and having placed them on the floor, Ki moved to where the man was standing. She circled around him before eyes could meet.

"Let's bring back the Gabe I know." Fingertips swiftly smoothed over the dark hair covering his cheeks. With that said, fingers once more laced with the man's. The opposite steps of before were taken as she guided him back to the bathroom, completely ignoring the mess that had been created earlier. Instead she rummaged the drawers in search for a shaving machine. Finding one was relatively easy, but no effort was put in asking if it actually was his - or her brother's. She simply plugged it in and switched it on. One hand smoothed the the skin of his face while the other held onto the machine, letting it sweep over the same spot multiple times. He had a firm beard, so a single sweep was hardly making a difference.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?" Optics drifting to meet his for a brief moment before her focus went back to 'erasing' the last bit of hairs on his right jawline. The machine was then unplugged and put down in the sink.

"There he is," Kiara spoke with a caring smile on her lips.

[Gabriel James]

"Right," Gabe noted, turning around as Kiara asked of him. Normally he'd probably leave the room completely, or at least find something to occupy himself while he waited (not that it would take long). But right now it was like Gabe was lost. He was incapable of even thinking that he might do anything else other than stand in his bedroom, faced away from the girl who was changing there. When she walked over to him, circling around to face him, Gabe looked down at the blonde with an empty, exhausted expression.

He wasn't sure what Kiara meant by bringing the Gabe she knew back, but he allowed her to lead him into the bathroom. He got the idea when she saw him take out the razor. He sighed into her touch, allowing her to guide the device over his face as many times as it took to clean him. Frankly, Kiara could have shaved his whole head and Gabe wouldn't have stopped her. He didn't have it in him to protest. The physical contact was enough to cause the man to start crying again, though this time much less violently. Silent tears simply fell from his eyes every few moments as Kiara shaved his face clean.

He answered Kiara's offer for food with a simple shrug. He didn't know what he wanted. He hadn't eaten since before he'd gotten the news, so he probably needed to. But his stomach was still in knots, his appetite completely gone. He wiped his eyes with his palms as Kiara finished, putting the razor in the sink. He smiled weakly back at the woman, hoping the look in his eyes was enough of a thank you, as words would likely make tears fall harder again.