Time Warp: Double Date of Disaster (Oriel, Phoenix, Charlie)

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June, 2016

Perhaps it was obvious that they would all end up together at some point. After all, they seemed to stick out in all the wrong ways and when they didn't bring the trouble to themselves someone else brought it to them. Grayson had never really cared all that much, though, he liked being noticed, good or bad he craved that attention. Yell it, curse it, moan it he just liked hearing his name come from people's mouths. That was probably what had caused him to initially gravitate toward Oriel, they were both assholes ready to fire insults back at each other. Kodi had been another story entirely, a story to tell another day.

Unlike Kodi, he and Oriel had always been trouble from day one, a king and an overlord, it was only natural they would get along. Right?

Unfortunately, people often found reasons to change themselves for the 'better', and Oriel had found his reasons. It had been annoying at first, Grayson hated change, but even if he didn't do a lot of things he would have before he was still the same asshole that was one of two, well three now, people he could call 'best friends'-or something sappy like that.

He'd given him hell for a while about 'settling down' and becoming 'domesticated', but here he was agreeing to something that looked an awful like a double date. As if it wasn't bad enough that Charlie seemed to have an obsession with these 'couple shirts' now he was retreating to ask for Oriel's help because he couldn't seem to crack Charlie any further than he had.

He would never have guessed that screwing a total germaphobe would have so many fucking loopholes. Plus, the kid never gave an inch and Grayson wasn't used to that not even with Kodi he always won out in the end, but Charlie worked him like he'd bought his instruction manual.

They, he and Charlie that is, stood outside the restaurant they'd chosen, he came here a few times himself, never in any situation quite so... cringeworthy though. He was dressed for the summer in dark blue trouser shorts, but only because his jean cutoffs had been vetoed, a grey tank top and same old black flat bill he always wore when he didn't feel like screwing with his hair- it tended to get wavy in the heat and it was annoying.

"Where the /fuck/ are these assholes," he whined again, though he knew Charlie didn't have an answer just like he didn't the last time he asked a few minutes ago.

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Charlie and Oriel had a lot of similarities – namely, their interests in dancing and keeping things clean. The former was how they’d met – through the dance team – and the latter was something unusual that they could bond over that was a relief for Charlie, since most men his age were disgusting slobs that liked to live in their own filth (not pointing any fingers…. Grayson). He didn’t know Phoenix as well, since he was a little older and Char hadn’t really met him until after he and Oriel had become pretty serious. The guy seemed nice, if a little shy and clingy with his fiancé, but he wasn’t one to judge.

He couldn’t remember whose idea it was to go on this… outing (like Gray, he was hesitant to call it a double date, since the dancer still had a hard time even touching the other boy in public without precautions), but he was determined to make the most of it! He liked Oriel, and he liked Grayson, despite the guy’s snark and whining, and it would give him the opportunity to better get to know his friend’s future-husband.

He hoped he would get the chance to talk to Oriel about some dance ideas he’d had lately, knowing the other boy was one of few boys on the dance team willing and able to dance in heels… but that was another story.

Charlie fiddled with his phone as they stood outside, waiting for their companions. He, too, was dressed for warm weather, his lithe legs clothed in a pair of khaki shorts, topped by a white t-shirt and a light jacket over the top. He’d opted out of a hat today, since his head usually got too hot and made him take it off and have terrible hat-hair. Char didn’t want to risk that today, not when he was supposed to look nice (he supposed).

He rolled his eyes at his partner’s complaint, making a face up at him as he glanced away from his phone. Char stood a good six inches away from Gray, making them look like almost anything but a couple. “I don’t know any better than you do, babe,” he replied, taking on the pet name out of pure spite, knowing the older boy didn’t like it. “I’m sure they’ll be here soon~ They probably took time to take care of their appearance and hygiene, unlike someone I know.” Char shot him a playful smile to show that he was joking (a little). “Need me to turn on some music and entertain you while we wait?” His hip dances always seemed to get the guy’s attention, at least, and if it would make him less of a grump, it would be worth it.

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“Pip pip!!” Oriel huffed through the pipe he had hanging from his lips. The recent high school graduate, and soon to be college student, was feeling cheeky and pompous and altogether great today, and felt like smearing his reeking success in the faces of his two other counterparts who were long convinced that Oriel would never make it past the status of ‘thug’ and ‘slacker’. So he sauntered out into the night with a brand new dress jacket(bad idea, it was hot), classy black collared shirt and tie, and an orange ascot just for the hell of it! (worse idea, it was hot) He even procured a walking stick, a cane, if you will, from the local antique store, one which bore the head of an eagle upon it’s upper end and was lined in brass and more brass along it’s shoddy wooded shaft. He enjoyed gripping his hand over the head….phallic undertones much? I think so~

He took broad steps at a moderate pace, not wanting to move too quickly lest his other half, his beauteous fiancee, be left behind in his imperious wake. No, this would not, could not happen, as he had linked their elbows upon beginning their walk across town to the establishment humbly named “Honest Abe’s”, where they were to meet their two friends of several years(they were Oriel’s friends, mostly).

It took not long before they found themselves in front of the restaurant, looking at the backs of those they were to rendezvous with. He stopped both himself and his future trophy wife several feet away from the other pair and cleared his throat like a haughty british gentleman. “Look, there! My good Phoenix,” he said, speaking as though he had millions in the pockets of his thrift store trousers. “Our associates are already arrrrrived,” he continued, shamelessly rolling the ‘r’ on that last word. “Do you think perhaps we are late? Maybe? Possibly?” He barked a laugh. “Couldn’t be!”

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Gray shot his companion a glare from where he was propped up against the wall of the restaurant, making a clucking noise at his response to his simple question. "Don't you start the pet name shit, or you'll be the first goddamn person with a fork in their throat," He held up his index finger to indicate just how serious this matter was. He pulled his hat from his head, running his finger through the slightly curling locks before readjusting it, this time with the bill backward to prevent the sweat from beading at his forehead.

"What," he smirked, fixing his 'friend' with a lusty look, "you saying you think I look bad?" Plus he had showered that day, Charlie had made sure of it himself as he had tended to do since he moved in with him. It was really fucking annoying and only slightly worth it to have the younger male there with him most of the time. He ran his tongue over lips teasingly and was about to respond as to exactly what kind of dance he wanted when his thoughts were interrupted by one of the most annoying sounds he might have ever heard.

"What the hell Oriel," he fixed his long (ish more on the medium side) time friend with a withering stare. He looked back at Charlie with an expression that begged for him to deal with it before he turned back to him, "Yes you are late. And what are you some Victorian-era pimp?" He shook his head, honestly, he should have expected this. It was Oriel for crying out loud. "Nevermind. Nevermind. Let's just...." he sighed, calming down a bit, "Let's just go get a seat before the heat drives me any more insane."

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Charlie smirked evilly at the older boy, raising his chin defiantly as though he was trading snarky words instead of sweet ones. “What? You don’t like it when I call you sweetie, Sweetie?” he taunted. “Dearest? Pumpkin?” He snickered to himself, oh, he was so funny. He ignored Grayson’s threats – he was pretty certain he was safe despite what the older boy said.

“I never said thaaat~” he replied. “But you know you’d still be a stinky, dirty mess if it wasn’t for me.” And as far as Charlie was concerned, Grayson still had a lot to learn before he would be okay with touching him regularly in public (or anywhere) without feeling at least a little squeamish.

It was a good thing that Phoenix loved and adored his fiancé as much as he did, because otherwise he likely would have been extremely embarrassed to be seen walking around with the pompous, puffed-up boy. As it was, he just beamed happily up at his taller lover, incredibly proud that Oriel had finally graduated. He’d been waiting eagerly for it ever since they had gotten engaged, because they had talked about waiting to actually get married until they were both out of Hammel, and now they finally were!

He reached up and twiddled with the boy’s beard, giggling quietly to himself. He’d dressed much more appropriately – a light summery dress, which Oriel had assured him was fine to wear despite his lack of anything in the boob department . “Where did you even get all that stuff anyway, Squishy?” he asked with a chuckle. “You look so dapper~”

He didn’t know the other two boys all that well. They’d met a few times, and Phoenix always thought that Charlie was much easier to get along with than the other one. The other one, Grayson, actually reminded him a lot of a certain dentokinetic that he’d only recently been able to stand being around. He got shy and quiet as they reached their destination, partially hiding behind Oriel’s arm as his fiancé greeted the other two. “Hi…” he said meekly, giving them both a shy glance before looking to the ground. Were they late? He hadn’t kept track of the time.

Charlie’s gaze shot over to watch in amused awe at the duo coming towards them – or, more accurately, at Oriel, who was looking ridiculously absurd in his get-up. “I think it suits him, myself,” he replied with a grin. “Pompous ass. Hi Phoenix~” He gave the meeker boy a small wave before turning back to Grayson. “I agree with you, for once. I’d rather not have to sit in a puddle of my own sweat.” Charlie opened the door for everyone to go inside before following, giving Oriel a friendly bump on the shoulder as he passed. “Gray’s in a sour mood, I think you look great,” he said with a wink.

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“Indubidibidibiditly~” he uttered, rolling his tongue over the syllables many more times than necessary, the word itself being said in response to absolutely nothing. Oriel was high on life and success, feeling like he was floating among the clouds after having finally achieved the impossible, the best part of which being that he and his lovey-love Phoenix could finally move forward with their plans to wed.

Truly, when Oriel had popped the question, it had been an act of desperation, an attempt to secure any connection he possibly could with the one person who had stayed by his side through both his best and worst time with nary a complaint, even after Oriel had rewarded him with actions horrid and less than deserving of any manner of forgiveness. Phoenix really spoiled Oriel when he didn’t deserve any of it.

But just because were the circumstances under which he asked his beloved to be his bride, that didn’t mean that Oriel wanted it any less. He did wish that he’d proposed when he was a little less fucked in the head, but that was neither here nor there at this point. They were engaged. Oriel had finally graduated. They were getting married. And Oriel wanted to shamelessly share the news and occasion and bliss with everyone he knew until they were so sick they vomited at the thought of the happy couple.

Hence why he showed up in the drab he had, just to exacerbate his inception into normal human society. He never thought he’d get here himself, so Oriel wasn’t about to tone it down any time soon.

Oriel nodded down to his gorgeous fiancee and nuzzled his bearded chin into the pixie’s temple. “Oh, here and there, and everywhere,” he replied with a loving smile. “I have my sources.” Oriel had mastered the art of cheap spending long ago, so finding awesome things at a fraction of the price was as easy as breathing for him. “And you,” he started with another nuzzle, “Are positively breathtaking in that pristine habiliment.” How he knew that word was anyone’s guess.

He did not droop or drown at the critiques of his benighted counterparts, for they knew not the splendidness of the happy couple’s fashion, and instead nodded towards the friendlier one and entered the fine establishment with naught a glance towards the cruder of the two. “Why thank you, my fine sir,” he said to Mr. Charlie when he held the door for the two of them, and glided in like a duke, clicking his cane down against the hardwood floor. The moment he was inside and seated at a table with his fine friends….Oriel tugged at the ascot and tie, gasping from the lack of breath. “Fuck, it’s fucking hot,” he complained. “Why’d you let me wear this Phoenix?” As if it was the winged boy’s fault.

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This was how things were between them, and he enjoyed it. He liked having someone to argue with daily, someone who could put him down and annoy him just as much as he did them. It helped that Char had phenomenal (ass)ets and looked great dancing in heels. It motivated him to put up with a lot more than he would otherwise.


"You know I don't," lip curling up into a snarl, "Keep it up and this thing is gonna be full of Charlie the Unicorn jokes and you'll be obligated to stay and listen to them." Because Charlie was much friendlier than he was and it was unlikely he'd walk out on the meeting he'd helped initiate.

"A stinky, dirty mess that has fun," he retorted with a snorting laugh and rolled his eyes. His mood was ever so slightly improved.... until he caught sight of something hellish. Oh, wait, he meant Oriel. Same thing though.


He managed a grunt of a greeting at Phoenix before his attention was focused on yelling at the meeker man's fiance. Who was ignoring him, which few knew was the surest way to get him pissed off and (more) worked up.


"Suits him as well as a black eye," he huffed but followed them inside, kicking the back of Char's legs when he accused him of being in a sour mood, which he was. He seated himself beside Charlie and across from Oriel, the better angle to kick him at. Though, he rolled his eyes as the taller man began to complain.


"Somehow I find it hard to believe that anyone other than you thought wearing that was a good idea," he saw it less as defending Phoenix and more as berating Oriel.

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Charlie snickered quietly at Grayson’s unhappy response. “A few pet names aren’t going to kill you,” he replied with a sweet smile. “And besides, we already have a bed full of unicorn children at home thanks to you, so those jokes don’t get to me anymore.” That was a slight lie, Char still got a little irritated when Gray insisted on only interacting with him using quotes from that Youtube video.

“It’s possible to have fun and still be clean…” he huffed to himself, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout. At least the appearance of the other two kept Charlie and Grayson from starting to bicker over a subject they’d bickered over probably a thousand times by now.

Phoenix was giggling and blushing over Oriel’s compliments about his appearance by the time they arrived, unable to stop fingering the ring around his finger and still smiling blissfully even as the less-than-pleasant greetings went on. His arms were wrapped around one of Oriel’s as they went inside, and stayed that way as they sat, although he managed a small pout at the black eye comment. “He’s had black eyes before, and they’re always awful,” he replied meekly. “I was afraid he was gonna die once…” That time after he’d been beaten up by Rue had been horrible.

Charlie gave Grayson a sour look as he kicked the back of his legs, but refused to acknowledge it as they sat down. He kept a fair bit of distance between himself and his… Whatever Gray was, although the way he was leaning into the older boy told a different story about how he really felt. Char laughed a little once Oriel started complaining about his clothes, especially when Phoenix shot his fiancé a mortified look.

“I-I thought you wanted to!” he replied, uncertain how this was his fault. “You seemed so excited about it just a little bit ago…” Phoenix glanced over at Grayson when he spoke, but didn’t agree or deny what he was saying. “How about we just get some drinks and order our food?” he suggested with a slightly raised voice. “Some nice ice water will cool everyone down, right?”

Charlie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, and maybe I can dump some on this hot-head so he’ll cool off a little too,” he smirked, glancing over at Grayson. “What do you think, honey?” Char just couldn’t help himself, and he let out a few small chortles, already knowing he would pay for his comments but unable to stop himself anyway.

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“It’s okay Squish, I got this super-special secret ability for when every time I come back from near death, my fightin’ power doubles!” He saw that in a cartoon once. He couldn’t remember which one. “That guy’s not going to be able to best me again, I swear it!” Because in his mind, Rue was still a fucking coward who was off diddling kids(no he wasn’t).

That was all supposed to be reassuring, but in all honesty, Oriel was sorta sick of getting black eyes too. Though trying to keep his fighting down and actually doing it were two different stories. It had been a while since his last though, which had just been a casual roughhousing with Kodi, and so nothing too bad. He knew Phoenix didn’t like it when he play-fought with Kodi either though.

In the meantime, Oriel continued to ignore Grayson. Once his tie, ascot, and jacket had been removed, and he’d unbuttoned that suffocating shirt a few notches, Oriel immediately picked up a menu to search through while holding it straight up over his face to block out the other boy from his view. “Phoenix, Phoenix, this is me we’re talking about,” he reminded his beautiful fiancee with a small laugh and roll of his eyes. “When have I ever been excited about a ‘good’ idea?” Most of his ‘good ideas’ were pretty terrible, actually.

Oriel turned to Charlie, tilting his head in mock confusion. “And who is this ‘hot-head’ might you be referring to?” he asked, holding up the menu still to shield off Grayson’s face. “Or am I missing something here, ‘cause I ain’t see nobody else here but us three.” To emphasize his point, Oriel pointed to Charlie, himself, then pulled Phoenix in for a side hug. “Ain’t that right, my widdle squishy-wishy?” he cooed at his pretty princess, rubbing their noses together like a pair of eskimos.