No Exit: Reverse the Polarity [Eli+Vincent]

[Event !]

BRIIIIING! BRIIIIING! BRIIIIING!
All staff had been notified about the emergency lockdown drill, and Eli had made a point to clear the library just before it. (Though they made a point about an attempt to not specify when, during the day, it would happen. But Eli had figured it out anyway.)

So when a security guard ushered a suspicious-looking teenage boy into is office (two doors, no windows), Eli was surprised.

"Keep an eye on this one, will you?"

[Vincent Verax]

In all his years at Hammel Institute, Vincent had never once set foot in the library and his grades certainly reflected that.

So how, you ask, did he end up being shoved into Eli's office? Simple, he'd been on his way to the cafeteria (what a shock) and was strolling past the library doors when the alarm went off. The security guard seemed to appear out of nowhere and Vincent didn't have the reflexes to react before his arm was grabbed and he was being dragged into the library. "'ay 'ay! Lemme go, who th'fuck are ya? NOOOO NOT TH' LIBRARY!!" What few brain cells Vincent had left were screaming in similar agony and before reaching the librarian's office, the boy was trying to dig his heels in and was struggling with the guard. It was all for naught, as the man had a tight grip on his arm and rather easily deposited him in the care of Eli. "Shit, smells like... I unno.. books 'n nerds an' ewww s'gross, c'mon jus' lemme go!" His pleading fell on deaf ears, because by the time that Vin had turned around, the guard was gone just as soon as he had shown up. Glancing at Eli, Vincent remarked. "Fuckin' dude's a ninja."

No one in their right mind would call Vincent shy, so without further complaint, Vinnie found himself a chair and plopped down. He'd been in his fair share of drills, but that didn't mean he liked them anymore now than he did then. Granted, his first drill had ended with him trying to punch the window out because he was hungry and bored and he was getting tired of waiting in a dark room with kids he didn't know and didn't particularly care for. "So... 'sup?" Vincent looked at Eli with his head tilted to the side. Not that he was trying to make friends with Eli or anything, but he absolutely loathed the idea of sitting in silence when there was someone there that he could probably easily bother. His eyes were roaming around the office, but his mind was wandering most of all. He was thinking mostly about Moe, about if he was stuck in this stupid drill as well and if he was locked up with someone and if he was scared or upset.

Scratching at the back of his head aimlessly, Vincent turned sideways in the chair and began fidgeting. "So can y'like... get us outta this shit? S'fuckin' pointless, y'know." You would think that in the presence of a Hammel employee, that Vinnie would have the sense to watch his mouth, but censoring himself has never been his strong suit. He's been slinging swears since he was old enough to talk. It was then that a string on his sleeve caught his attention and he began picking at it, occasionally throwing glances at Eli.

[Eli Morrison]

Eli liked his office. It was small, yes, and made even smaller by the mountains and stacks of books he kept there. There were books that needed processing, books that needed repairs, and more books that were just waiting for him to read. After years of training and practice, he was capable of reading seven or eight books over the course of an afternoon, more if it was a quiet day. He was planning on this being a quiet day. One where he could spend the lockdown curled up with his book on the history of the Eire canal and finish it, then start on the new edition of a text on molecular biology.

He heard the disruption to his plan before he saw him.

Eli had made a point of making sure no one was in the library before the alarm was set to go off. In a security breach, it would be dangerous to have students in the mostly-open center of the building anyway, so it wasn't as if he was doing anyone a disservice by keeping students out. And the added benefit of riding out the lockdown on his own was more than just appealing to the young genius.

"Shit, smells like... I unno.. books 'n nerds an' ewww s'gross, c'mon jus' lemme go!"

Well just fantastic. Eli didn't even recognize this kid, and felt doubly insulted by the insinuation that his office smelled unpleasant. He quite liked the smell of dust and old paper, but then again, he was as bookish and academic as a librarian in a New England private school had any right to be. (Though, quite a bit younger.) He looked up, over his book at the strange young man, but he didn't say anything. Yet.

Unfortunately, the kid didn't seem to want to just sit there and be quiet. (Ugh, it would make it so much easier.) "No, I cannot get us out of the lockdown. Even if I could, I would not. Though it appears, the longer you sit in here, the more I would want to." He skimmed over the last few paragraphs on his page, then turned it, dog-eared the corner, and closed his book. He had a terrible feeling that he was going to be stuck in this small room--made smaller by books--with this rather unpleasant teenager.

[Vincent Verax]

Considering that the only book Vincent has ever actually read in his life was Everybody Poops (and that was only because it had the word "poop" in the title), it's safe to say that he did not belong in a place like Eli's office. Intellectual, bookish, and of course smart are not words anyone would use in description of Vinnie, unless they were being sarcastic. So, as Vincent's eyes scanned the titles of the books around him, he wrinkled his nose in disgust. "What th'shit is this? S'like... I unno.. some kinda big book orgy." Face, meet Palm.

When it came to comprehension, that was something the goth boy was most certainly lacking in, and at Eli's comment, he grinned. "So hey, s'that mean y'gunna let m'out early or somethin'? 'Cause y'know, 'm fuckin' hungry an' I might start munchin' on y'books 'fore long." In moments like these, I really wish he had a shock collar on. Although he may not actually eat the books, I wouldn't put it past him to try. As if he was thinking of doing just that, Vincent took one of the texts from a pile sitting nearby him and flipped it open. He began flicking through the pages as if looking for something, before yawning and tossing the book aside. "Fuck. I guess I need t'jus' try an' read this crap. S'better than sleepin' pills!"

Digging around in his bag, Vinnie fished out his phone and began playing a game on it, desperate for something to do that didn't involve fingering all the books around him. If Eli is hoping that this will keep the rambunctious teenager happy and quiet, then he'd best think again. Vin is incapable of doing anything without annoying outbursts of swear words and curses and other nonsensical things. Whether he just likes the sound of his own voice or it's really something he can't control, I'm not sure. Probably the former, but I have no proof.

Vincent was disgruntled at this turn of events, he had no desire to spend his time holed up in the librarian's office with nothing to do and no one pretty to look at. He could rattle off a list of things that he could have been doing with his time. Things like setting off the fireworks he had in his bag or doing a backflip off the roof of the school or even just pestering Sammy into buying him lunch. The thing is, Vin doesn't do well with being confined. He's got too much energy, too short of an attention span, and not enough self control to just sit quietly and look hot while riding the drill out.

[Eli Morrison]

In the time since his power manifested--age twelve--Eli had spent a good amount of thought on the idea that he just wasn't like everyone else. Not the he was necessarily better than anyone (though he was almost certainly smarter), but just that there was something, particularly among other young adult males, that set him apart. He tried to avoid contact with the older students outside of his library duties, but the feeling still persisted. It probably had quite a bit to do with him growing up amid boys who could run inhumanly fast or were inhumanly strong. Or they were able to manipulate their pheromones or use illusions to make themselves more attractive. And there he was, just reading his way through life. Skinny, scruffy, absorbing everything, and never, ever forgetting. No wonder he chose to surround himself with books.

"Book...orgy?" Eli looked at the strange boy, honestly perplexed. "No, this is my office. You're in a library. L-I-B-R-A-R-Y. It's a place where books and documents are kept, with the intention of public or private access, for free." If it came off as a bit condescending...well, that wouldn't be surprising. Of course he took issue with this kid's obvious dismissal of what he did with his life. Mild-mannered doesn't preclude spite.

"No, I'm not letting you go anywhere. Even if I did, a security guard would have you back in here before you could get to wherever you're going, and you'll certainly end up in more trouble than me." He didn't even look up from the book he was reading. Honestly, he didn't care if the boy attempted to leave. Maybe he would be lucky and the kid would get far enough away before security caught him that they'd shove him into someone else's office and Eli could wait out the rest of the lockdown in peace. Not his problem. "And if you attempt to eat any of my books, I will mix up a non-lethal concoction that I will sneak into your food that will cause your hair to fall out." He figured that 1.) the long hair was indicative of a certain level of vanity in the boy and 2.) the kid was just dumb enough to believe him. Unless his power was enhanced perception or telepathy, there would be no indication from Eli that his threat was any different from any of the other short statements he had made to the boy.

Eli didn't watch the kid flop around his office, and cringed slightly at the sound of the cell phone beeping. He hated those things. They disrupted the quiet rustling ambiance of his library, and generally drove him mad. Okay, ignoring the kid wasn't working. He had to come up with a plan B. A quick scan of his office gave him one fairly good option, one he was willing to try.

The librarian stood and pulled a book down from a high shelf. He'd read it ages ago, when he was about thirteen, and it had amused him greatly then. It was thick, but oblong, looking more like a picture book than a novel. In a way, it was both. "Here, why don't you look at this one? You might enjoy it more than the dissertation on poorly-planned highway systems you picked up before." He offered it to the teenager. Dinotopia. Even if he wouldn't read the story, there were intricate illustrations on every page of a land where people lived and worked with dinosaurs.

[Vincent Verax]

Vincent absolutely loved his power. Not only had it saved his life (it first appeared after a rather grizzly incident with a chainsaw... trust me, you don't want the details) but it was a great way for him to make money while exerting as little effort as possible. It's amazing how much bored teenagers will shell out to watch someone mutilate their self and Vincent has never said no to bet in his entire 18 years of life. What he doesn't yet understand, however, is that soon he'll be wishing he had just a sliver of Eli's intelligence or he'll end up stuck at Hammel for the rest of his pathetic life.

The blank stare that Vin fixed Eli with as he explained the concept of a library needed no further elaboration. "... L - I - B... " He began repeating the letters that Eli had listed, his forehead wrinkling as his achingly slow brain tried to put them together. Don't feel bad, this is the boy whose parents would spell "bath" and "doctor" to him so he wouldn't know what was coming and it worked until well after his tenth birthday, when he should have been old enough and smart enough to understand what they were doing. Then again, you could count the number of times Vincent has been "smart enough" in regards to anything on one hand.

Distracted by a text that came through from his new flame, he almost missed Eli's threat, and a huge smile spread across his face. Mid-reply, the words finally clicked in his head and he nearly dropped his phone from the thought that he would be... bald. The librarian's assumption that the teen was vain was spot on, though I doubt he understands just how egotistical Vincent really is. The idea of losing his hair rightly terrified him for a few seconds, until he began thinking that maybe he would look fuckhot without hair and if not, well, there's always wigs and he could certainly rock a wig. Unfortunately, a horrible idea sprang into his head at that moment. "Ya f'real? 'cause oh fuck man, y'gotta show m'how, an' I could give 't t'my friend Charmander an' HAH! It'd b'fuckin' AWESOME!" Poor, poor Sammy. He's not even involved in this thread and Vinnie's trying to torture him.

His gleeful images of a hairless Sammy were interrupted by the book that was held out towards him. Cautious, in case Eli had somehow laced the pages with anthrax while he was giggling within his mind, Vinnie took it daintily. Dinosaurs? Maybe this Eli guy wasn't as boring as he thought. "Ya shittin' me, righ'? Y'actually got a dinosaur book 'n this... nerd cave?" He cracked it open, ignoring the words in favor of the pictures, because if you thought he was actually going to read when he wasn't being forced to, then you were sorely mistaken. Eli, however, was right on the mark. The book had successfully captured the idiot's attention, at least for the time being. "I wan' a huge ass dinosaur f'a pet. I could feed 'im PEOPLE!" And now I'm thinking that this may end badly.

[Eli Morrison]

Perhaps the two did have something in common after all. Eli loved his power too. Even though it alienated him from his peers and from, well, everyone else, he couldn't imagine what his life would be like if he forgot things or learned things at the rate of a "normal" person. Indeed, he thought the idea horrible. (Not him being the same as everyone else, but just the utter slowness of the rate at which others learned.) And Eli had made a pretty penny off of his ability himself. As it turns out, there was more than one way to beat casinos, and though he wasn't good at counting cards--okay, he was good at the counting, but he wasn't good at looking like he wasn't--he knew the other ways.

But seriously, even the dumb jocks who had tormented him when he wasa few years younger than Vincent were smarter than this kid. It honestly amazed Eli that the teenager could even remember how to breathe. He couldn't spell library. No. He couldn't even repeat the letters Eli had recited. The Librarian's eye twitched, just a little. Just enough to be noticeable if you were looking. (Which the kid wasn't, of course. He was playing with his goddamn phone.)

And his response made it even worse. At least for a moment he looked horrified, but then he reverted to his normal expression, one of enthusiastic idiocy. Seriously, Vincent appeared to take "uninformed" to a new level. It was almost zen-like. "You...you really have a friend named Charmander? Are you sure he doesn't just exist on your Nintendo?" (Yes, Eli knew Pokemon and Nintendo. He'd wanted to have both when he was very little, and had recieved neither.)

And no, he was not about to inform Vincent whether or not he was "f'real."

But Dinotopia seemed to do its job. At least the boy was somewhat interested in it. "Yeah. And I've got a couple others that you might like as well, once you finish with that one." It was a thick book, with gorgeous illistrations on every page. And there were just enough pictures of hunting and sports with the dinosaurs that he hoped it would keep Vincent's interests long enough to spare at least a cursory glance on each page. Eli winced at the last comment, but played off of it as naturally as he could. "Well, it depends if the dinosaurs had digestive tracts more like crocodiles or alligators. Alligators can't eat a whole person, there's too much salt in the human body. A similarly-sized crocodile however, is capable of eating human flesh."

Or maybe he could just amuse Vincent with macabre and morbid facts until the drill was over.

[Vincent Verax]

Learning had never been Vincent's cup of tea, unless it was something he was extremely interested in. Take Emaleth for example; he didn't want to be an irresponsible pet owner, so before buying his prized girl, he actually researched (gasp!) all he could about tarantulas and their care. He also went to tons of different exotic pet stores before finding Ema, but it was like picking a puppy - you don't pick them, they pick you. In other words, it was love at first bite. Goliath Bird Eating spiders are extremely aggressive in nature and though Vincent was warned about handling her, he didn't listen. Big surprise. For the first few months, Vinnie ended up with more spider bites than he could count, but eventually Ema gave up trying to eat her new owners hands. Now she freely roams his apartment like a dog and is only in her tank when it's time for feeding or someone new is coming over. Sometimes, Vin even sneaks her into the school and Eli should count himself lucky that Vin doesn't have her now.

"His real name ain't Charmander, duh, 's Sammy, but he's one-a them... uhh... y'know... py-- fire makers! S' I call 'im Charmander 'cause he burns shit." Though the majority of things Vincent said made very little sense, at least his nicknames were spot on. Ember was Tits because she was the only one in their group with boobs and Horus was Floppy because of the way he flopped over when his narcolepsy kicked in. "'sides, I broke m'DS. Sat on it." He frowned at the memory. "But when Charmander pays m', I'm so buyin' a new one. 'm th'shit at Pokemon, dude." The frown was quickly replaced with a cocky grin and he kicked his feet up to rest on one of the piles of books while he steadily turned the pages of the one that was now resting in his lap.

Hearing that a crocodile could eat human flesh perked the goth boy's interest. "How'd ya know that? Y'tried feedin' people t'an alligator an' it was was like "Fuck no, man, I ain't eatin' that shit! Too salty!" or what?" Although the idea is absolutely ridiculous in every way possible, it didn't stop Vincent from picturing it in his mind. For some reason the alligator had acquired a monocle and British accent in his fantasy and that turned out to be enough to cause Vinnie to burst out laughing. I'm rather glad that telepathy isn't Eli's power. The things that go on inside his mind would be traumatizing to most people, I'm sure.

"Y'know what'd b'an even better pet than a dinosaur? A fuckin' dragon. All fire-breathin' and flyin' and kickin' ass. That'd b'the best damn ride t'school ever, y'know? People'd be all like O - M - G!" The braindead smile on the boy's face widened as he pictured that next. "Y'got any books on dragons?" ... oh my, was that just genuine interest in a book? Did Vincent actually ask Eli for another one? Consider my mind blown. I think the world is going to end now.

[Eli Morrison]

It actually would have impressed Eli to find out the lengths Vincent had gone to to take care of the creepy little thing. He'd jumped through similar hoops in his quest to adopt his beloved Zero from the shelter. The little mutt was the closest thing he had to a family, and he adored her. Actually, it wasn't unusual to find her curled up in the corner of his office, asleep on a chair. (And she was remarkably well-trained, the kind of dog who could be let to walk around without a leash, because she knew she had to stay close to her owner.

And if Vincent had brought the spider into Eli's office, when Zero was there, she would likely have tried to eat it. So, really, this was the best arrangement all-around.

Sammy? A "fire-maker"? Eli knew exactly the person of whom Vincent was speaking. And he wasn't particularly fond of him either. He'd set a dictionary on fire. And it was a really nice dictionary. Not one of those useless abridged or collegiate versions, a proper one. The teenager had promptly been banned from the library for the foreseeable future, unless he absolutely required a book for a class. No wandering in to kill time, at least until he was able to control his ability to the extent that Eli's precious books were safe.

He winced at the boy's cavalier attitude toward the books, just kicking his feet up onto them like that. Granted, Eli was known to rest his own feet on a stack of books. But that was only when he wasn't wearing shoes. And he was very careful about it.

And at least Vincent was looking through the book. That was significantly better than Eli had thought he'd get. Dinotopia was one of those books that could capture the imagination of just about anyone, even destructive cretins like this kid. He could probably recite the first few pages by heart, and go into detail on the adventures he'd imagined he'd had as a child. Of course, Eli was less than half of Vincent's age when he first picked it up.

"Um...no. Not exactly. Alligators can eat human flesh, but just not in the amount to digest an entire human being at one time. But several alligators can dispose of a body fairly quickly." Oh dear lord, what was he saying? From what he'd observed since the drill began, there was exactly no way that this information could be put to any good use. This could be so, so not good. "Though that still would need to be proved through empirical studies. I don't have first-hand knowledge of this." He'd never even been to Florida. Actually, since he'd been taken to Hammel, he hadn't even left the state of Vermont. And that was a long time.

Books on dragons? Of course Eli had books on dragons. Yes, books, multiple. And in the office. Though none of them were quite as good as Dinotopia, they were all quite good. And geared for a younger audience, so they should be right up Vincent's alley. "Yes, sure. One moment." The librarian dug through a box next to his desk, of books with various extra pieces attached that needed to be cataloged as well. "Here you are, Dragonology." He was just going to ignore what the boy would do with a dragon.

[Vincent Verax]

That is extremely dangerous information that Eli is feeding to Vincent. The wheels were already turning in his head, his nose wrinkled up, and smoke would have been coming out his ears had this been a cartoon. "So... whatcha sayin' s'that hypopathetically... 'f I killed somebody an' I knew where t'find a bunch 'f alligators, I coul' toss th'body to them an' they'd munch it til it was gone?" Yes, hypopathetically, because you didn't exactly expect him to get a polysyllabic word right, did you? He'd heard some of the teachers use the word before, so I think we should just be glad he was as close as he was with it.

Not that Vincent would ever kill someone intentionally (only if they tried to hurt his Moe), but he liked the idea of having a place to dump a body if something like that ever came up. Now all that was left to was find either a wild pack of alligators - did they travel in packs? He hadn't a clue - or a nearby zoo he could sneak into at night to give their alligators a little midnight snack. The amount of thought he's putting into this is disturbing me.

Thankfully, his mind was taken off the subject by the next book that Eli handed him and for a moment he stared blankly at the cover. "Hey waidasecon'... I jus' realized I dunno y'name." Vincent's mind, it is all over the place. "'m Vincent. Y'can just call m' Vin or Moron or somethin' like that." Although I'm sure Eli would like to call him a moron or worse, I'm not sure he would, but at least Vinnie was nice enough to give him the option? Either way, I have a hunch that Eli is going to end up being called Nerd Pants. Yes, he has permission to throw things at the obnoxious teenager currently invading his office. Sharp things are preferred.

He abandoned Dinotopia in favor of dragons, grinning like a kid in a candy store as he cracked it open. "Y'ever wanted a dragon? Or ya one 'f those guys who is all "I gota t'slay m' this bitch t'save m'princess! Unless ya were Mario, then... well.. what th'fuck is Bowser? He's like... what'd happen 'f a turtle fucked a porcupine." And now there's really no telling where this is going to end up. "But then they're like "Oh sorry, y'just did all that shit f'nothing, your princes is 'n another fuckin' castle" and it's like FUCK, man. Y'know what I mean?" Vincent, I don't think anyone knows what you mean.

[Eli Morrison]

Sometimes, when Eli got on a kick about something, it would take a literal alarm to get him to stop talking about it. It had been worse when he was in school, and would not only answer the teachers' questions, but he would also answer the all the questions that had yet to be asked that lesson, and for the rest of the week. And Eli knew a lot about reptiles. When he was thirteen he'd researched extensively on everything he could about them, as he wasn't allowed to have a dog in the dorms. He'd eventually petitioned to have a pet snake, since it would require far less walks and was hypoallergenic.

Yeah, that hadn't worked out well.

"Yes, hypothetically, that would work. But it depends on the size of the body, and the size of the congregation of alligators. They're called a congregation. Or a pod if they're immature. And by immature I meant that they were young, not that they behaved younger than they should." Why was he talking so animatedly with the teenager? Well, for once, he wasn't being mocked for knowing truly random information. But it seemed like the kid was genuinely interested in the facts he was able to spew. Huh. Maybe this wouldn't be the single longest lockdown in history.

Eli was genuinely surprised for a moment that Vincent didn't know his name. It was somewhat naive of him to believe that it was possible for a student at Hammel to reach their late teens without ever hearing of him. There were a handful of staffers who had just never left the school, moving from being students into working. He was probably the youngest one of them at the moment. "Hello Vincent. I'm Eli. Or Mr. Morrison, if you care to be formal." He was going with the assumption that no, the kid would not be formal. (Actually, he was going with the assumption that he was promptly going to forget his name and call him something stupid.) He, on the other hand, would refer to him as Vincent, unless he stated a particular aversion to his first name.

He wouldn't judge. After all, no one called him Elijah.

Vincent's rambling about dragons was amusing, if convoluted. It helped that Eli was able to follow complex plotlines and texts, otherwise there would be little chance of him deciphering what the teenager was saying. Yeah, he'd wanted a dragon. Specifically, he'd wanted a luck dragon, a'la The Neverending Story. But he didn't trust that the boy had read that one, so he simply quoted Chesteron, "Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."

But from what he'd observed of Vincent, Eli felt the need to clarify. "Yes, I wanted a dragon. And Bowser is the King Koopa."

[Vincent Verax]

If Vincent knew that Eli had wanted a pet snake he woud have fallen out of his chair. Not only was he enamored with spiders, but snakes and lizards and scorpions and basically anything that most people I know are terrified of. The only reason that he didn't have one now was because he was picky and didn't want to settle for anything other than a female albino boa constrictor and the fact that one of those would cost him upwards of $400. At one point he started a fund towards the purchase of said snake, but most of that money ended up going towards pizza and liquor.

It's probably for the better he doesn't have a snake, he'd want to take it class like Ema, but it's much harder to hide a huge boa constrictor than it is to hide a spider.

"Right, s' if I kill a fatty, 'ma need more alligators? Wait, would they eat th'bones too? 'cause y'know... bones get found an' with all-a them damn... frenziks or whatever they're called, then they coul' maybe find out that I killed 'im an' tried t'feet him t'some gators." He pursed his lips thoughtfully, mulling over Eli's words in his head. "Y'think feedin' people t'alligators 'fter they're already dead 's a crime? Y'know, I think it shoul' jus' b'considered disposal!" Let's all be glad Vincent doesn't make the laws.

There were a lot of things that Vincent didn't know and Eli's existance was only one of them. Granted, he had probably seen Eli around the campus before, but considering this boy can barely remember breakfast this morning, we can forgive him, right? "Naaaah, y'ain' old 'nough t'be a Mr. Anything. Mister 's f'old people. Like, uh, Mr. K!" He wrinkled his nose a moment. "Sometimes teacher 's all "MR. VERAX" an' I jus' wanna go "FUCK YOU I AIN'T OLD" but 'd get detention an' I get that 'nough without shoutin' at teachers." That's right, Vincent, regale Eli with stories about how you're a horribly misbehaved teenager, I'm sure he'd love to hear them. </sarcasm>

Not only was Vinnie's rambling all over the place, but his slur often made it hard for people to understand what he was saying even when he was making perfect sense, rare those times may be. Props to Eli for being able to make sense of the sounds coming out of his mouth. He stared rather blankly at the librarian at the quote, his eyebrows (you heard me right, he actually hasn't singed them off for over a month!) drew together as he tried to make sense of it. "Killin' dragons should b' illegal." He turned through a couple more pages of the book and tapped on lip with his finger.

"But what th'fuck 's a koopa? S'like... some kinda mad scientist 'speriment gone wrong! An' what th'fuck 's Bowser plannin' on doin' t'that princess, anyways? I mean... ewwww." He shook his head and tried to clear his mind of that thought because it disturbed even him and that's saying something. "Anyways, I wan' a red dragon. S'then when 'e kills people, y'wouldn't see th'blood on 'im!"

[Eli Morrison]

It was probably a good thing that Eli had eventually grown too old for the administration to insist on him living in the dorms. Eventually, he was just going to stop writing polite letters and just start sneaking some animals in, because dammit, he needed companionship too, and he figured he'd get it better from a pet than one of his peers. (In a way, it really does make sense. You just need to think a bit harder and squint your eyes.)

But eventually he'd left the dorms and started renting the top apartment above a bakery. It was warm in the winter, which was nice, but it was stifling in the summer, and he always smelled faintly of bread and yeast.

Okay, there it was. The question that actually made Eli stop and think. (Not about the ratio of people to alligator when it came to disposal, but the wisdom of actually imparting that knowledge on a boy who had proven himself to be interested in the subject to the point of it being distinctly unsettling.) "Yes...I suppose? I don't think they eat all of the bones, but everything with meat on it, yeah." Would this count as aiding and abetting? He had no knowledge or true expectation that a crime was going to be committed. "I think feeding them to alligators if they didn't specify that in their wills might be an issue. And if you're disposing of a body from a crime, that's another crime: obstruction of justice." Was he really having this conversation?

And was it flattering that the teenager thought he was too young to be considered a mister? He was young, yes, but if he'd been able to go to college without drawing extra attention, he would almost certainly have had a PhD or two. Maybe in a few years, because eventually people were going to find out about Hammel, and then he'd be able to study just as much as he wanted, formally. (He figured he could get grants to cover the tuition. So far as he could tell, there weren't many people like him. Affirmative action for genius metas.) "Well, that's informative, Vincent."

It was, in the "If I ever have to testify against you in court" kind of way.

And for the first time in the conversation, Eli wholeheartedly agreed with the teenager. Indeed, that was the meaning of the quote. Something being dangerous and different was no reason to destroy it.

But that's the reason they shipped metas off to Hammel, now wasn't it?

Eventually, Vincent was going to learn that asking Eli questions meant getting an answer out of him. "It's based off of the mythological creature the Kappa. And though his intention of stealing Princess Peach is typically obscure, at least once it was to provide a mother figure for Bowser jr." Why did he even know that? "I want a luck dragon."

When you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

[Vincent Verax]

Considering how different they were, Eli being a genius and Vincent only a step above being mentally handicapped, they certainly managed to hold an interesting conversation. The worst part of it is that now Vin understands that Eli could be his source for pointless facts that he could attempt to impress his friends with. Granted, the passage of the information from Eli's original words to Vincent's idiotic recap would not be a safe one. There's no doubt that he would horrible butcher whatever it was the librarian had originally said, but his enthusiasm would make up for it... right?

Eli, dear, you might want to consider keeping your office locked. Unless, of course, you enjoy the idea of having a moron barge in on you asking inane questions.

Vin was now scratching at the back of his head. "I am so gunna put bein' fed t'gators 'n m'will. I mean, c'mon, cremation is fuckin' borin', why not get chomped on b'some huge motherfuckin' gators while people standin' around lookin' all horrified. Yeeeah, that's how I'ma do it." Demented as that may have sounded, anyone that knew Vincent would only find it appropriate. Like hell he'd have a quiet funeral; he'd sooner castrate himself than let it go down the "traditional" way and if there weren't fireworks, he'd be one pissed off dead guy.

The connection between killing dragons and Hammel was completely lost on Vincent, as the only thing he cared to know about Hammel was that his friends were there, Moe was there, he had fun, and it was infinitely better than his home. Why would he even want to go back to a boring, normal life after he'd tasted this? He loved the excitement that Hammel provided, of being with people who could do awesome things. (He was still entranced everytime Sam managed to light something on fire, even if that something was him.) The only downside were classes, but he usually found ways to make those more entertaining than normal while simultaneously making the teachers hate him.

"A luck dragon? Would like... one-a those help ya win th'lottery or somethin'? 'Cause fuck that'd be great! 'd get so many pairs 'f pants that I coul' have a different one f'every day 'f th'week an' I could have all the creepy-crawly pets I want an'... A POOL! Yeah, a pool. A big one." He was grinning in that vacant sort of way he does when he imagines what he's saying. This time it was a huge in ground pool with Moe laying out on the side sunbathing (in skimpy shorts!) Yes, that was a very nice image. Somebody stop him before he gets a nosebleed... or worse.

[Event !]

Thank you for your participation! No Exit is now closed.

The alarm went off again, just once, giving the all-clear. Within two minutes, a security guard poked her head in, nodding at the people inside. "Thanks. Lockdown's been lifted. You can go now."