To Be With You - Closed Tag

[Benjamin Rhodes]

He couldn't believe he was arguing with an old lady about which fruit basket to get Leila. Should she have more grapes or more apples? Her liver just exploded! In the end, he just got her a small basket of fresh daisies and a get well card.

As Ben walked up to the room Leila was being held in, all thoughts of Cobalt left his mind. He was just worried about the state Leila would be in. Ben had never seen a sick person in his life. Well, a hospital bed warranted sick person anyway.

All he could think of was if Leila was up to any visitors or if her family was already there or what if the nurses were giving her shots? Ben clearly knew nothing of what happened in hospitals.

He finally arrived at Leila's room and without any hesitation, he opened the door and immediately saw Leila bundled on the bed with a very familiar but slightly more gaunt than usual figure by her bedside.

"Cobalt..." he breathed, not even thinking that of course Cobalt would be here. Stupid Ben. "I could...I could come by another time. I'm sorry." He suddenly forgot where his feet were as he stumbled into the room just to place the flower basket before turning to leave.

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt had been there more or less for the entire three days since he’d talked to Ben and Josh and Riley. He was currently dozing on the chair that he’d basically claimed for his own when someone abruptly opened the door. He looked up blearily, blinking slowly, and was surprised to see Ben standing in the door, holding a bouquet and looking a little shocked to see Cobalt sitting there. Later, Cobalt will wonder where Ben thought he’d be, but at the moment he just stared dumbly at the other man, mouth slightly open, as Ben stammered, stumbled around the room and then turned to leave.

Wait, what?

Cobalt unfolded his body and to his feet, his knees complaining loudly. “W-Ben…” Now Cobalt was stammering as well, “You don’t—I mean, Leila’s asleep right now, but I mean. You don’t need to leave on my account.” Truth be told, he didn’t want Ben to leave at all, and he was trying to figure out why Ben was so uncomfortable around him. He was probably still upset from the last time they talked. And with good reason, all things considered. He glanced up at Ben, a bit at a loss and tired of leaving this unsaid. “I’d like you to stay. If you’re not entirely opposed.”

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Had Ben been a bit more rational, he would have been a little smug at how even Cobalt was stammering right then. As it were, all he could think of was Cobalt looked really tired. And his voice had a tone to it that Ben was wondering at.

He turned around to face Cobalt, still at the doorway. For the record, he wasn't uncomfortable. If he were honest, all he wanted to do was cross over to the other side of the room, scoop Cobalt up into his arms and not let go. But he had to be serious. He had to be rational about this whole thing. For all he knew, Cobalt was still not amused by Ben's little stint and was just trying to be polite right now.

That seemed like the most reasonable reason to let him stay.

"No, I am not. Opposed that is. I just...didn't think you'd want to see me here." The corner of his lip twitched into a sheepish grin. "How is she?" He forced himself to look away from Cobalt to the sleeping bundle on the bed.

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt blinked. Several times. He wasn’t really getting what was going on. Why would Ben think he didn’t want Ben around? He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “Wh- no. I thought you wouldn’t… never mind.” Cobalt was so, so tired. He glanced down at Leila and sighed, “She’s… okay. She’s scared, and she’s…not the only one.” Cobalt shuffled his feet slightly, feeling drained, “They’re… if they don’t find a liver in eight to twenty-eight days, she’ll…” Cobalt gestured vaguely. “…It’s not good. But we’re handling it far better than when I called you a couple days ago. Josh and Riley came by. It was nice to see them.”

And it had been really nice to see Josh and Riley. He was so grateful he had friends like them. But really, all he had wanted was to see Ben.

Cobalt gently brushed Leila’s blonde hair back out of her face, “Anyways, she told me to get out of here before she fell asleep, and if we wake her up, she will stab me, so let’s… can we talk outside?” He looked up at Ben questioningly.

[Benjamin Rhodes]

A shiver ran down his spine when Cobalt responded. Was he trying to say what Ben thought he was trying to say? That they were both being stupid thinking they didn't think that one wanted the other around? That would be too perfect. Ben didn't want to think that way. No. Not yet. That was just an easy set up for heartbreak and Ben didn't like that feeling.

The urge to hug the other man was overwhelming to say the least. Cobalt just looked like he needed it too. What could possibly go wrong, Ben thought to himself. "They did? That was nice...I-I hope that helped. With you I mean...and not worrying you too much and whatnot." Ben stammered, feeling really dumb suddenly.

"There will be something. Terrence is a good doctor. He's going to take care of Leila, I'm sure of it." Ben nodded, reassuring himself just as much as he was the shadow manipulator.

His smile softened at Cobalt's actions towards Leila before abruptly snapping out of his daydream when Cobalt looked at him. "Um...yes. Outside." Ben nodded, inching out of the doorway and waited as Cobalt also left. "You want coffee? We can get something to drink downstairs or from the vending machine,"

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt was starting to see what was going on here, albeit slowly. That maybe they were just being completely stupid. The only slightly positive part about this whole mess was it gave Cobalt a new perspective on just how stupid he’d been, and what was really important. Who was really important.

“Yeah. It was nice. It-it did. They helped a lot.” Cobalt rubbed the back of his neck again, “I’m glad they’re my friends.” He sounded a little silly, but it was true. “Yeah.” He nodded at Ben’s remark on Dr. Jordan, “He’s a good guy. Seems to know what he’s talking about. Professional, and all.”

Cobalt limped outside, his knee irritated with the long periods of being folded up in the chair. “Oh. No thanks, I already had some earlier. I think I need to just walk.” He gave Ben a half-hearted smile, “My legs don’t like all the sitting.” And he began a slow walk down the hallway. “Um… I h-have something to tell you, actually.” He looked up at Ben, his heart pounding in his ears, “Since we haven’t…really talked in a month or so. And I’ve gotten some new perspective on things since then.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“It has occurred to me,” Cobalt said slowly, trying to think of the right words, “That I am a rather self-centered, bitter, angry person and completely a pain to be around for any long stretch of time. I’ve been comfortable with this self-image or whatever since I was a kid. And I decided that I would accept the consequences of this self-image. Namely that I would have very few friends and I… would be alone for the remainder of my life.” He shrugged easily, “That was okay. It was kind of a shame, I guess, but I was okay with that. All things considered.”

“So I’m not…really good with all this feelings shit.” Cobalt said, staring at the floor as they walked, “And it’s annoying, so I usually just don’t even try. But it also has more recently occurred to me that the issues and things that I’ve been hiding behind are things that are completely within my power to fix and I’m too much of a coward to do it. Because I don’t know what to do without my carefully constructed air of bitter immaturity, I guess.” He let out a humourless scoff, “Either way, you asked a lot of me, that day. But…” Cobalt was running out of words and was starting to wonder if this was working at all. “Wh-what I’m trying to explain to you is… Ahh, shit.” Cobalt pinched the bridge of his nose, a ‘never mind, just forget it’ ready on his tongue, but he couldn’t do it.

“I like you.” Cobalt said finally, “And, provided you are still interested, I would like to try this. Try to not be such a raging, selfish jerk and get a huge attitude adjustment, but mostly just try to be with you.” He didn’t take his eyes off the floor, but chanced a sidelong glance at the younger man. It was all in Ben’s hands now.

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Ben was glad Cobalt had an excellent support system and that they were doing their job. Especially now. He had to admit he was a little jealous that he didn't have one of those. It kind of made him reflect on how superficial most of his friendships were. He had never had someone he could truly rely on. It was a depressing thought, something which he knew he could change if he wanted it to.

"I'm glad they are too," Ben gave Cobalt a little smile in response. "Oh yeah, Terrence has been doing this for awhile. He definitely knows what he's talking about." He nodded as they left the room, walking side by side. Cobalt's limping made Ben wince and he decided to later talk about having him go for a treatment of some sort. He knew one of his friends went for a knee replacement surgery and she was now walking perfectly fine.

Nodding, he continued to walk to the waiting area where a few of the seats were available. It didn't seem like a busy day today so everything was pretty quiet. Ben turned when Cobalt sounded even more serious than usual. He forced himself to continue walking as he listened to Cobalt's monologue.

At first, he was unaware that it was a build up to something but little by little, it occurred to him that Cobalt was trying to say something Ben had been wanting to hear.

Truthfully, it kind of pained Ben to hear Cobalt talking like that about himself when Ben couldn't seem to agree on at least half of what he was saying. Yes, Cobalt was sometimes a pain but he was also sort of a father figure to Leila which spoke volumes about his patience. And if he were such a bitter and angry person, he wouldn't have been so happy to see an old friend. And he couldn't be so self-centered when he had a little kitten waiting for him at home. It didn't make sense to Ben how little Cobalt thought of himself.

But it wasn't as perplexing as what Cobalt said next. Ben truly wasn't a fifteen year old girl but hearing those words made him blush. He stopped walking and grabbed Cobalt's hand to stop him from walking too. There were a million things he could have said or done at that moment. But none of them articulated how happy he was to hear those words.

"F-first of all," he started. "You can't keep thinking those things about yourself, Cobalt. You just...you're not being fair to yourself." Ben was satisfied with his words. Whether or not Cobalt took his advice, it didn't matter because he was getting what he wanted anyway. "Secondly, I am very much still interested." He could no longer contain the smile on his face and quickly pulled Cobalt close before swooping down and giving Cobalt a little kiss on the lips. "Very much."

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt wasn’t really sure if he was even making any sense, but he hoped that Ben would understand at least a little bit. Cobalt didn’t actually mind being a complete son of a bitch. In fact, he’d worked damn hard to be the old, cranky bastard he presented to everyone. The problem was, he’d set out to be one kind of bastard, and ended up being a far more hurtful one. And that was where the problems really began. Misanthropy worked for him, but it wouldn’t work if he wanted to be with Ben. And he liked Ben far more than misanthropy. So in the end, it wasn’t all that big of a choice. The problem was now how he was going to work on this. Because it wouldn’t be easy, and he didn’t even know where to start.

Ben’s confused face turned far more comprehending as Cobalt spoke, and by the end of it, there really was no more secrets between them. Everything was out in the open now, and the stress was about ready to kill him when Ben started to speak.

Cobalt didn’t comment on Ben’s opinion of his self-awareness. Mostly because he didn’t agree and wasn’t interested in getting into an argument with him about it. Because that would be stupid. He didn’t get a chance to comment on the other part, because he was suddenly being kissed. Which, really, he wasn’t complaining about.

When Ben pulled away, however, he was struck by the realization that this had worked. That he had actually talked about something and it wasn’t completely incoherent. That Leila was still dying and Ben liked him back and he was going to have to re-evaluate everything and good things and bad things were happening all at once and he couldn’t figure out which one he was supposed to focus on first because he was still afraid in the back of his mind that he would go back into her room and she wouldn’t even be—but Ben was—and he didn’t…

Cobalt’s shoulders hitched once, twice, before he wilted against Ben’s side, tired of being so out of control. He pressed his face against Ben’s shoulder and closed his eyes tightly. Still the world’s most awkward hugger.

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Cobalt's silence made Ben a little nervous. Had he said too much? Did he step out of line by remarking on Cobalt's behaviour? All these thoughts ran through his head and was about to make him ask Cobalt to speak until the shadow manipulator was suddenly leaning against him, practically burying his face into Ben's shirt.

Instinctively, his arms wrapped around Cobalt and pulled him close. It felt easy, and it felt good. He almost immediately realised that this went beyond them finally getting together. Cobalt had been bottling everything up since Leila was diagnosed and now he was finally letting go.

With that realisation, Ben held on to the other man tighter, laying his head on top of Cobalt's, his lips moving to press against Cobalt's head. "Cobalt, everything's going to be alright." Ben reassured the other man softly and repeatedly.

It was the most unconventional setting for the beginning of a relationship, Ben thought but it was better than nothing. He got what he wanted, Cobalt willingly wrapped in his arms. It was more than he could ask for.

[Cobalt Weaver]

Cobalt had mostly reached the end of his rope emotionally by this point. And Ben happened to be a good hugger. Not that he’d really had a broad range of hugging experience, but that wasn’t really the point. He really had been trying to hold it together, and mostly still was, but Ben allowed him this reprieve and for that he was grateful.

However, there was only so much of this Cobalt could handle without feeling weird again, so after a few moments, he startled awkwardly wriggling his way out of Ben’s arms. He smiled crookedly, showing Ben that no harm was done, he was just hugged out. “I know. Everything’ll work out somehow, I guess.” Cobalt reached over and squeezed Ben’s hand before releasing it. “I gotta go check on Leila. You’re welcome to hang around til she wakes up.” With another quiet smile, Cobalt turned and walked back towards Leila’s room, feeling somehow less hollow.

[ooc: Wrapped!! YES. <3]

[Benjamin Rhodes]

He made a little protesting sound from the back of his throat when Cobalt moved away from his embrace but he knew it couldn't last too long anyway. Firstly, people were staring and secondly, Ben knew Leila was more important right now.

The hand squeeze made Ben smile and he nodded in response to Cobalt's invitation. "Yeah...I think I'll stay." The psychologist smiled softly and followed behind the other man.

[OOC: Aw yea, short wrap posts FTW!]