I Need A Little Good Love To Get Me By (closed)

[Ethan White]

This is set about a week after Heartbreak,
which is set around two to three weeks after GM

To say that his breakup with Andi was disastrous would be an understatement. Then again, it’s not like he expected anything less.

Had the whole fiasco happened in a relatively lax time in his life, Ethan would’ve locked himself up in his room and slept his sorrows away. Yes, sleep. Because the brunette insists that what’s done is done; no amount of tears would erase his mistakes and bring the status quo back. He fucked up and lost everything in return – his girlfriend, his best friend and the boy who he’s fairly sure would’ve been a close friend of his.

He’s become a douche-ass jerk-bag that’s hated by everyone. How fun.

But life just isn’t giving him the comfort for that. Hockey season’s opening in two weeks, so the team’s been made to practice from dawn till dusk. And the week before that, midterms (which he probably bombed, since studying in such a noisy frathouse would really get a person nowhere). One could say that weekend’s his only reprieve, but with Saturday practices starting within next week, he would have to say goodbye to that too.

Too tired for his own good, the brunette decided to ditch his noon class and catch a quick snooze over at the house’s living room. A huge grin crept on his face when he arrived and found the house rather quiet, except for a guy slumped on the huge couch he’s supposed to sleep on.

Not really caring about who it was, Ethan simply threw his big over to the adjacent couch and happily flopped on the said sofa, teasingly squeezing, even putting his arms over the guy’s body. “Rough day? You won’t mind if I sleep here too, right bro?”

[Braxton Carson]

Braxton was once again in the playboy mansion. Hef had told him to take care of the girls while he ran some errands, but well, the girls were determined to take care of Brax instead. As soon as the old man got out of the house, the Shannon twins threw themselves at him. Soon he had no clothes and overwhelmed by their thirst for him. After some minutes, however, he noticed someone was missing. Crystal Harris. Where is she? It was Braxton's personal idol and she was nowhere to be found, and as much as he asked, no one was answering him. He was getting upset and attempted to get himself up when an arm embraced him. He heard her voice asking him if he could sleep with him.

"Yes babe, of course you can." He said as he turned around to face the playmate. "But let's not sleep yet, I am planning..." He kept talking as yellowish-red light enveloped his vision for a second, changing the sight of his blonde beauty for that of... Ethan. "Ah!"

Braxton immediately attempted to jump off the couch in surprise. As sleepy and shocked as he was, it only resulted on him pushing the brunette off the couch and him inevitably falling on top of him in the floor. Shit! Braxton recomposed as soon as he could and manipulating his momentum, launched himself upward into a standing position, from where he took a couple steps back.

"What the FUCK are you doing?!" He asked loudly at his ex(?)-best-friend.

[Ethan White]

As it was, Ethan wasn’t really planning on caring whether or not the form beneath him will agree or not to such cuddling. He’s seen a number of his ‘brothers’ cuddle playfully with each other before – and he himself has experienced it – so it’s not like it’s something taboo or unnatural for them in his opinion. So really, within moments of asking, he’s already snuggling close, rubbing his nose on the nape of whoever it was as he slowly drifted to sleep.

His eyes hadn’t been closed for five seconds when Braxton suddenly panicked and pushed him over, making him fall on the floor with the loud thud. It didn’t help that the boy fell down on top of him either. But whatever pain he was feeling was suddenly overshadowed by that ugly mix of guilt, unease and general longing at the sight of the boy.

“I…I…Sor-I didn’t know,” he said, stuttering just slightly as he moved back a bit, sitting up while leaning on his arms. A loud gulp here, an uneasy glance there. “It’s not what you think,” added the boy, voice flat and nonchalant.

Ethan wasn’t really the confrontational kind, insisting on the passive ‘silent treatment’ when faced with conflicts with the people close to him. And while every bone in his body is screaming for him to simply collect his stuff and leave, he can’t help but get this nagging feeling that his old methods won’t solve his problem this time. That if he doesn’t do anything now, he might lose his exbest friend forever.

He doesn’t think he can live with that.

So, despite finding himself in the most uncomfortable and uneasy situation he’s been in, he took one deep breath and spoke, “Brax, can we talk? I mean, we can’t continue being like this forever. I’m fairly sure Liam and the others are starting to suspect something.”

Is it just me or does that sound really really weird.

[Braxton Carson]

"It's not what I think..." Braxton repeated Ethan's words in a funny voice as he sat back in the couch.

Grabbing one of the cushions, Brax placed it in his legs and proceeded to hug him while staring at the TV in the opposite wall even if it was turned off. He was in reality, pretty obviously, trying to think while Ethan talked. The brunette was right, people were indeed starting to notice an odd behavior between the two formerly inseparable boys. Someone had even asked Brax if "Mrs. Carson" had filed for a divorce, to which Braxton only laughed and spun the question's answer into a comment about how good a certain sorority girl was in bed.

Unfortunately he couldn't do the same to Ethan at the moment. It was either giving Ethan the pleasure of talking, or plainly walking away and into his room, lock it and keep ignoring Ethan until the end of times. The second option was the most tempting one, but Braxton was just bright enough to know that he couldn't just avoid Ethan forever, so the first option had to do. He does swears to himself that this decision had nothing to do with the fact he does miss the guy.

"Fine." He said, still staring at the black screen of the TV, and still hugging the cushion. "Talk."

Not much, but hey, at least he was giving Ethan a chance, something he thought the brunette should actually appreciate.

[Ethan White]

The sarcasm was anything but welcome in Ethan’s book, so he had to stop his eyes from rolling and simply be thankful that Braxton has decided to at least hear him out. Beggars can’t be choosers after all, and considering how the younger boy had reacted that morning, Ethan felt that he’s even less than a beggar in Brax’s eyes. Harsh, but true.

Or at least that’s what he believes in.

For a minute or two, he just sat there, looking at the ceiling, the floor, the wall opposite him but never on Brax. For some reason, it’s as if he’s forgotten how to speak. He has so much he has and wants to say, but he doesn’t know how to tell it to the guy in front of him. He doesn’t even know where to begin. Doubt began to creep into his mind, telling him that the whole thing’s a mistake; if they’re really meant to be friends again, Brax will come around and understand everything.

But if not, would Ethan be able to forgive himself for wasting an opportunity to repair everything?

Taking a deep breath, Ethan grabbed his own cushion and wrapped his legs and arms around it before speaking. “First off, I’m sorry. I know you felt betrayed for me not telling you about my...sexual fluidity. It’s just that, well, it’s not like I could just go up to you and say ‘Dude, if you should know, I like guys too’.” He let out a small chuckle, though it’s rather obvious that it was more to calm his nerves than to make a supposedly witty joke. “And, no offense, but we all know how phobic you can get. I…was scared.”

Cue in the soap background music.

“And to be honest, I never found you attractive,” said Ethan with a smirk. Maybe during the first few days (why would he approach the arrogant boy in the first place?), but as he knew the boy’s personality, it waned. Drastically. “I’ve seen you naked so many times that I can count. Heck, I’m the one dressing you down when you’re so drunk you can’t even spell your own name. I had so much chances, but I did nothing. Doesn’t that say anything dude?”

“If anything, you still have to pay for that hole you made in my room. My dad’s furious about it you know.”

[Braxton Carson]

Braxton let Ethan talk without saying one thing. Besides the fact that at some point during the brunette's speech Braxton leaned forward to place his chin in the cushion he was already hugging, it could be said that Braxton was pretty much frozen as he heard his bro.

Ethan's words did make sense. If Brax had known from the beginning about Ethan's little "secret", they'd had never become as good friends as they now were. It wasn't like he was strictly homophobic, there was no hate or discrimination, it was just that Brax preferred not to hang around or close to them, and even less, become best friends with. It's just so awkward. He kept repeating to himself. He still couldn't grasp it. Ethan gay? Even if it make perfect sense, how could he being so oblivious as to not actually found out before? God, what if everyone knew but me and that's why they called him Mrs. Carson? The thought made him shiver for a split second. Fuck, what if everyone thought we were together?! Braxton's face turned into disgust.

"Well why don't you make your boyfriend pay for it?" He said as soon as Ethan had finished speaking. He hadn't stop staring at the black screen. "And how the fuck am I supposed to believe you never tried to take advantage of me, huh? The fact that you're a big fag just proves I can't trust you." In reality, Braxton was pretty sure Ethan hadn't done anything to him, or at least he felt safer choosing to believe so. "Who else knew?"

[Ethan White]

Nobody said convincing Braxton would be easy. Ethan, of all people, knows the extent of such stubbornness firsthand; despite the relatively short time they’ve been stuck together like glue, the boy’s already lost count of the number of times he went with Braxton’s way despite knowing it’ll end for the worse. He just thought the whole we were tight as hell before would weigh in and make things a little easier. Why else would he have joked near the end?

Seems he was wrong.

“Matt’s not my boyfriend. And as of late, seems he’s not my friend anymore either.” The only answer he got from the numerous apologies he’s sent is the loud slam of the door on his face. Wonderful really. “And Andi broke up with me last week. Or was it two weeks ago?” Ethan doesn’t want to remember. “I forgot that Matt was her best friend. So yeah, I’m single now.” He basically lost everything.

A loud sigh escaped his lips upon hearing Braxton’s question. How could he possibly answer that? “I’m not a good liar Brax. Or at least according to you I’m not. Tell me if I’m lying to you now.” Melodramatic, but he can’t think of a better way of putting it.

His last question caught him off guard though. “I…honestly don’t know.” He knows he’s pretty much kept his bisexuality under wraps, but he’s not quite sure. “Among us, I think only Jeremy knows.” But only because the man’s just like him too. (Gaydar anyone?). “Why does that even matter?”

"God Braxton, must you really be this difficult?"

[Braxton Carson]

Braxton was hating Ethan so much at the moment. He had been hating the brunette since that moment in his apartment, and yet, how that same moment had changed, to worse, the many things Ethan had described about his life and relationships, made Braxton feel a little bad about it. He's not the kind of guy that feels bad about what happened to other people, even if the bad things happen because of him, but truth was, that Ethan wasn't just some random person. Truth was, in fact, that Braxton couldn't hate Ethan. Truth was that the hate he was feeling was pretty much directed at himself which only confused him more.

The boy was right. Braxton believed Ethan had never lied directly to his face, and this was a conclusion he could easily arrive at not only because of Braxton's egocentric personality leading him to believe Ethan would never dare to do so, but also because even if he had said the contrary a few seconds ago, Brax did trust Ethan about enough to believe he was telling the truth.

Maybe this was why he was hating himself so much at the moment. Ethan had done nothing wrong here, and had never lied about liking guys as well as girls. Braxton was the bad guy and a small part of him, deep inside, knew it, but up until now, he was just starting to consider it. Yet, if Braxton was just another evildoer shitting Ethan's life since that dreadful morning, why he couldn't shoo that feeling of being hurt, of being a victim too?

"Fuck I don't know." Braxton was pretty much wordless, and adding to that, he felt awfully nervous and insecure. "Ugh. I just... you were my brother, dude. And I never had a brother, and I wanted one so bad and you were it and..."

Was there a button to rewind time? Because Braxton was in desperate need of one. Hard to admit, maybe impossible, but he had learned to love Ethan to death since they met, and having that same, unrecognized, feeling towards him now, being aware of his sexual preference, just seemed awfully wrong.

"Fuck, just..." The words escaped his mouth every time he attempted to say something. Not like he didn't have thoughts to express, he had millions, and yet, it was like his tongue had a knot and it didn't let him say anything. "Why do you have to be gay? Why can't you be, I don't know, normal?" He sighed, leaning back in the couch, eyes still fixated in the same spot they had been for minutes now. "It's just so... fucked."

[Ethan White]

Everything was going relatively well (it was slow and a little hazy, but Ethan believed they were getting somewhere) until Braxton said that. The brunette had a few buttons in his life, but none are quite as explosive (except maybe when it’s said directly to his family) as that.

“Big words coming from someone you,” muttered the brunette, his face hardening and his voice containing a little more sting than before, “Who can make things go faster or stop them in midair with just a single thought again? Or manipulate an object’s mass and make them denser than they usually are? ‘Cause clearly that’s normal.” A little face tilt here, a burning gaze there and an eye roll to seal the deal.

He let out a small huff, left hand going up his forehead to rub his temples. Why the hell did he ever befriend the boy again? He knew, upon discovery of Braxton’s perceived homophobia, that this would happen. And that he’d be the one screwed by it.

“What’s the difference of being gay from being a meta anyway? I mean seriously, looking at the bigger picture, we’re both freaks.” Another deep breath. He seriously does not want to get into this argument with anyone, even more so with Brax. “I thought your experience with your sister taught you that life is fucked up?” Maybe it’s not so wise to add Sawyer in the mix, but Ethan’s just went a little bonkers with Brax’s statement. “And dude, I still am.”

Why else would he try to repair their severed relationship anyway?

If there’s one good thing that’s happening is that none of their brothers are walking in. Heaven knows they’d be teased forever should that happen. (No more divorce? Yey! Why’d you plan to divorce him anyway? He doesn’t know how to fuck, doesn’t he? Fun.).

“That’s all I have,” he said weakly, curling into a ball as he buried his face on the cushion between his legs, “I…I’m sorry Brax.”

ooc:
Late and crappy. Sorry. >.<
- Jam

[Braxton Carson]

Was Ethan right? Perhaps "normal" was not the best word for the case, but Braxton believed he was right nonetheless. At least he felt more right than Ethan, and so as he turned their conversation into what appeared to be the introduction to a heated argument, Brax remained calmed in his position. Ethan had to know, however, that the sole mention of Sawyer would bring the Carson twin out of this state quickly enough, which was affirmed by the sudden way Brax's face turned to face Ethan for first time since they started talking.

The expression in his face, only showed how soon Braxton was about to explode.

Three... Ethan had stopped talking now, but Braxton did nothing but breath and demonically stare at Ethan now.

Two... Was his face getting red? Was that a vein showing in Braxton's forehead?

One... The boy stood up without unlocking his eyes from Ethan.

"The FUCK you're sorry." Brax threw the small cushion at the other boy, giving it as much mass and velocity as he could in the split second. "You do NOT get to bring my FUCKING sister into this." His voice was getting deeper, stronger and louder with every word. "You knew right from the FUCKING beginning that I was a meta." Another cushion in the couch supernaturally flew towards Ethan, given by Brax maximum mass and velocity as well. "I have never in my life kept FUCKING anything from you." A third cushion flew at Ethan now. "Much less anything as FUCKING big as that." Fourth cushion, also the last one not being hogged by Ethan. "So no. You are not my brother. I already have a FUCKING liar sibling, the FUCKING least I need is another one."

The amount of saliva that had jumped out of Braxton's mouth as he spoke/yelled at Ethan along with the amount of sweat in his forehead and strong hand motioning during his speech should be a good enough warning: Braxton was angry. Mad angry. The hole in Ethan's bedroom was nothing compared to what could happen if he didn't restrain himself this time.

[Ethan White]

Ethan knew it was wrong to include Sawyer into the conversation. Only, he couldn’t have imagined it to be this wrong. And while it hurt a bit to be pelted by the pillows in the room, what hurt the most for Ethan was seeing how Braxton stared at him.

Seems he really pressed Brax’s buttons hard.

Through the pillow throwing and the shouting though, the brunette dared not break away from Braxton’s glare. He wanted to, desperately so, but something just inside him is preventing him from doing so. He wants to bow down, look over to the side, do anything to avert that gaze that tells him that what he did was unforgivable. That it was one thing to keep his preference from his ‘mate, but another to drag her into the conversation.

“I…” Ethan felt a huge lump on his throat when he tried to speak after Braxton’s outburst. He tried to open his mouth to speak once more, but the same thing happened. For a minute or so, he tried and tried, but the words just won’t come out. So in a last ditch effort, he stood up, took a deep breath and began walking towards the enraged boy.

Without warning, he suddenly grabbed the smaller boy and wrapped his arms around him, whispering his apologies as he pulled Braxton close.

It didn’t last that long though, as their brothers suddenly arrived, hooting and laughing at the site. “What the fuck guys, in the living room? Seriously?” teased Jack, throwing a discarded cushion at them, “I know Ethan likes it rough, but clean up.” Ethan tried to keep it cool and hide his embarrassment when a few more jokes came along their way, releasing Braxton from his grasp as he smiled and tried to just get on with it.

“So there won’t be any divorce anymore? You know what this means guys, we’re going to have a party!”

[Braxton Carson]

There was no wall next to him this time? Unfortunate. Braxton needed to punch straight to something or the pressure building up inside him was going to make him burst into a rain of disappointment and anger. Had that sofa shapeshifted into a bullseye suddenly? He could already feel in his mind the calmness and lightness he would feel as soon as he kicked the thing with as much strength as he could manage but... Was Ethan hugging him suddenly?

It was...

Had Ethan been absent this complete time? Braxton was furious at the brunette, why was he hugging him? Didn't he get from the yelling that Braxton did not want anything from Ethan anymore? Was it so hard to grasp? Couldn't Ethan just leave Braxton alone and get himself someone else to hang out with? Was his anger strangely diminishing quickly as the bro-hug continued without him pushing Ethan away?

Thank goodness for the sudden arrival of fellow Kappa brothers, which broke the one-way hug as suddenly as it started.

Party? Braxton did not feel the most minimum intention of partying. Heck, he didn't even feel in the mood get some girls, not even the cheerleader captain that had been teasing him for months now. He had to be feeling pretty messed up for this to happen, and he was, but at least he wasn't mad anymore, not the way he had been a few moments ago. He wasn't relaxed, but at least he wasn't a kick a way from breaking a sofa.

"What? No talking?" Jack, as nosy as ever, approached the two boys. "Come'on guys. I know you're still swallowing each oth..."

"Shut up Jack." Braxton softly pushed the prying brother aside, ignored the other guys entering through the door and found his way towards the stairs.

He should have gone to sleep in his room since the beginning, and the noise of a door being shut close from the second floor announced he finally did so.

"Don't worry, White." Jack patted Ethan's shoulder. "We'll get you a new boyfriend."