Where's the neosporin (Josh&Ben)

[Yulia Sokolov]

Yulia was only a few blocks away from home now, but a few blocks was enough. A few blocks felt like miles considering the pain in her ankle, back, and her bleeding head. Still that was not what distressed her, far from it in fact. Yulia was panicking because of what got her to this point. She was a bruised and bloodied mess, and it was all her fault. She could have died, and she had done it to herself. It didn’t make sense, well, it did make sense. She had tried to kill herself. What didn’t make sense was the why, why she had done this. One thing that she did know was that she did not want to die. That was resoundingly clear to her with every step that she took. Every single nerve twinge reminded her of that fact. Oh god why didn’t she try harder to get a license? Then again she probably could not drive in this condition. Maybe a cell phone would have been more useful, but she wasn’t sure who she should call. If she couldn’t face this then she didn’t feel as if she should make someone else.

Lia tried to go over it again and again in her head. Why couldn’t she remember what had happened? What had driven her to this point? Maybe it was the head injury. The last thing she remembered was seeing… what? It felt like the more she tried to reach for it then the more out of grasp it wandered. What part was she missing here? Well, what part besides the body parts that she had evidently managed to crush. She wondered how she was going to explain this all away, or if she even could. Maybe Ben would be at Cobalt’s when she got home. She wasn’t sure if she wanted that though. She wanted to talk to him, and she wanted someone who could reach the ice packs in the back of the fridge. She was certainly going to need one.

For now there was little that she could do save hobble home and try to keep her head down. She had ripped off part of the sleeve of her jacket and had it pressed to her forehead. This was so uncomfortable. Maybe if she could make it home then she could find the advil, so much advil, bottles and bottles of advil. That was for pain killing purposes only though. God, even her thought process was screwed up now. The worst part was that she was now terrified of herself. Terrified of what she could do if she was left alone, because clearly she could blank out for a few minutes and possibly end it all. She felt her breath hitch in her chest as she started to panic again over it. It sent a throb of pain through her back, welling up tears. That just made things worse. Yulia hadn’t cried since that awful drunken night, but now she was awfully tempted. She just needed to make it home, that was it. Being home would make everything better.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh hadn't seen much of Ben lately. Perhaps that was because the child psychologist had been having trouble with Cobalt or perhaps it was because Josh had been spending so much of his free time with Sean in an effort to make up for twenty eight years of miscommunication. Perhaps it was because of all the stress he was under at work, particularly where his intern was concerned. Whatever the cause, he'd last seen Ben at the barbecue he'd hosted with Sean, and they'd communicated very little.

Today, however, he was making a point to pay a visit to Mr. Rhodes, and so he'd hopped on his bicycle and made his way to the house the other man shared with Yulia Sokolov.

The weather was crisp and cool and the wheels of his bike crunched leaves that had found their final resting place on the pavement. He wished someone would build a bike lane; he was always half afraid that one of the cars swerving around him was going to hit him.

So far they hadn't.

And then, up ahead, he saw a figure limping in the direction he was headed. He frowned to himself, though he didn't slow down; lots of people walked even when they ought not to. Anya had a limp, but that didn't stop her from cycling all over town. He'd certainly taken himself out when he should have been in bed.

As he got nearer her recognized the figure. Ben's roommate, Yulia.

His breath caught in his throat; she appeared severely battered. Memories of autumn smells and leaves and injuries swam in his mind before he shook his head, bringing his bicycle up beside her.

"Ms. Sokolov!" He called out, hoping to get her attention if she were so out of it with pain that she didn't notice him. "You look like you could use some help."

[Yulia Sokolov]

Yulia knew that it was not too much to ask for her to be able to make it home without running into anyone. It was nighttime at the least, not the middle of the day. Oh god, what if she had tried to hobble home like this in the middle of the day? Just imagine that! The thought almost made her laugh. Oh she would not have gotten away with… whatever this situation was. She didn’t want to name it in her head again, because the reality was scaring the crap out of her. This could not be happening, that was the one thing that kept running through her mind. She had left her family, and survived, she had gone on countless operations, and survived, hell she had seemingly lost her best friend and her job and had been in a coma for weeks, and she had survived. So what had caused this? What had made her do this and why didn’t she have control over it? Had she truly lost it?

At this point she was just trying to put one foot in front of the other and get home. That was perfectly doable, as she was close now. It seemed like she was going to succeed, but then again this was not the hard part, and it looked like Ben’s car was in the driveway. Oh drat. That was the hard part in this, there was nothing she wanted to do more than to talk to Ben, because she knew that he was brilliant. In many cases he was a comfort source to her, given how reliable he was. To Lia, Ben was all things Pilot Ridge, and now Pilot Ridge was home.

Still, as much as she wanted to talk to him about this, she also didn’t want to admit what she did know had happened. That would be risking home, especially if he thought she was crazy now. She half thought she was crazy now. She forced those thoughts down as noise came to her ears. She had vaguely heard the bicycle but didn’t look to see who was on it. However clearly this person knew her, and she could guess who it was easily enough from the voice. So much for secrecy. She looked over at him.

“Hello Mr. Bernstein, and no, no I’m fine. Are you going to go see Ben? I think he’s home, here, I’ll let you in.” She made her way as quickly as she could now to the front door. She hobbled a little less, forcing a more upright walk on herself. It caused pain to shoot horribly through her ankle and back, but it only took a few moments to arrive at the door. Lia started to search her pockets but couldn’t find her key. “I seem to have misplaced it…” So Lia had no choice, she knocked on the door. It was then that she slid her hands into her back pockets and found the key, nearly causing her to swear at herself in frustration. Lia just did the best she could, which was make sure that the bloody sleeve piece on her forehead fully hid the cut.

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Nothing could have prepared Ben for what he was about to witness at the front door. Previously, he had been checking out a book Cobalt had recommended and had gotten so drawn to the characters in it that when the door was knocked, he had to blink a couple of times before realising that the knock was not coming from the book.

Taking a sip of water from the glass he had filled earlier on, he moved to the front door and opened it. His eyes moved from Josh on his bicycle to Yulia who looked like she had gotten trampled by a herd of giraffes. His mouth gaped open as he tried to assess the situation as calmly as possible.

There had only been two times he had been worried about Yulia and the first time, the Russian blonde had taken to drinking. He had been mildly aggravated because she had had a bad time. And he forgave her for her carelessness especially when she opened up to him little by little about her past.

The second time, he had been a little less forgiving because it was apparently a deliberate attack and she had gotten shot in the attempt to fight for the greater good. But it wasn't her who told him about it. No. He had to hear it from someone else. And this time? What excuse would she give him? Was he always going to have to wave any incidents off simply because her status as a metahuman meant she was...accident prone?

But of course, he couldn't show his anger. It was easy to suppress the feelings since there was a guest. And Josh was exactly that. Yulia had better realise she was lucky Josh had coincidentally come by. "Josh!" Ben waved the older man in as he escorted Yulia inside. "I'll bring the first aid kit to you in a second. Josh, come on in. How are you?" He plastered a big grin on his face. Fake, to be sure, but no one needed to know that. And Ben was so counting on Josh's mild obliviousness to not pick up any strain behind the gesture.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh didn't think Yulia looked fine, despite her instance to the contrary. "Are you sure?" He asked in concern, though he didn't really expect her to change her answer. He understood what it was to not want people to worry on his behalf, and thus to insist he was fine when he wasn't. He could respect that, but she was very obviously not fine.

"Actually, I was on my way to visit Ben." Despite his concern for the young Russian woman his face lit up at her assurance Ben was home. "Great. I should have called ahead, but...." He shrugged. It was too late now.

He followed behind her on his bicycle, the pace feeling glacial as he had to keep behind not only a pedestrian, but one who looked like she ought to be in bed instead of walking home. He watched her carefully, half expecting her to fall over at any moment. However, somehow she made it to her home, and he waited as she searched around for her key before knocking; he smiled in spite of himself. That reminded him very much of himself, particularly when he was a law student living with Sean.

When Ben appeared at the door he gave his younger friend a nod and a smile, "Ben! Sorry for dropping by unannounced." He apologized, stepping through the door. "I've been doing...." He hesitated for a fraction of a second as he looked at Yulia, trying to suppress the thoughts of two identical young women and their harsh words and actions. "Well enough."

He shook those thoughts away, gesturing toward Yulia as he did so. "But we can catch up later. I...ahhh....I think the first aid kit should be first, perhaps? I think Ms. Sokolov needs your ministrations."

Never mind that she said she was fine.

[Yulia Sokolov]

As Yulia stood there she knew that she was extremely skilled at one thing at least. She could cause discomfort and stress pretty darn easily. Sure, it wasn’t something to be proud of, but at the least it was something. Ben did not look happy, and Josh, well she really couldn’t pin any emotions to his face as she was too embarrassed to look at him. This was not good, but she had been worse off before. This injury wasn’t even as bad as the one she had received earlier in the year whilst joining her coworkers against MSAD. Still perhaps she could clean herself up and then worry about her mental function? That didn’t seem like all that bad of a pattern.

Yulia could find solace in one thing at the least. She was tough. Years of training could push her through an incident like this without much complaint of pain. After all she had made it home, and that was something. She attempted to at least slightly smile at Ben and failed. She felt awful just awful and she figured that he was probably going to be mad at her later. Still, Josh was there so neither of them could make a fuss right now.

At the least she could smooth things over. She stepped into the house as she was escorted in. When Josh hesitated she plastered on her own smile, perhaps less professionally than Ben’s, and motioned for him to come in as well. “Oh no, do not worry about me Josh, please, come in. As for the first aid kit, I know where it is, I’ll just take care of this.”

Then came a new challenge, stairs. The hand rail helped as an additional support, but it was an altogether uncomfortable experience. Once upstairs she went first to her room to grab an ace bandage to wrap her ankle. Then she went into the bathroom to tend to her head. On the bright side it was a pretty clean cut near her hairline. She cleaned it, sterilized what she needed and sewed that up quickly enough. There was something to be said for experience with field medicine. She bandaged over her handy work and headed back down the stairs. There was nothing she could do about the bruising save some ice.

Yulia went back down the stairs, much more easily thanks to the ace bandage, and grabbed an Ice pack and a hand towel. There, everything was fixed, or as fixed as she could make it. There was nothing she could do about the anxiety over what had happened.

[Benjamin Rhodes]

"Oh it's no problem, Josh. Come on in and have a seat." Ben offered, stepping aside so the two could come in. When Yulia didn't wait for him to help, Ben killed off the little bit of anger he felt from being denied his assistance. That was the trouble with having someone like Yulia as a housemate, he supposed. Her version of not worrying you was by multiplying that worry and then shooting down any assistance you may want to give.

Directing the still forced smile back to Josh, the psychologist chuckled mirthlessly. "That's Yulia for you. All independent. I swear, the only time she would let me ever help her is when it's time for breakfast and dinner."

Closing the door behind him, he ushered Josh into the living room. "Would you like a beer, Josh?" Ben asked, his smile still forced as he wondered if Yulia realised how worried he was right then. And if she cared.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh wanted to object to Yulia's insistence that they not worry, but before he could open his mouth she'd disappeared up the stairs. He stared in the direction she'd gone for a moment before sighing and turning back toward Ben.

"Suppose I can't really blame her," He remarked, deciding that it was probably safe to sit on the sofa like the two had requested he do. If he didn't they would probably keep asking, so it was better to simply capitulate.

"Independence is a wonderful thing to strive for." He added, though he had to chuckle at Ben's description of when she needed his help. "I admit I rely on Sean for dinner, last time I tried to cook with him I burned through one of his pots." Granted, that had been almost thirty years ago, but he hadn't tried again since.

The sound of footsteps echoing down the hall caused him to turn, giving Yulia a hopeful smile. "Feeling better now?"

[Yulia Sokolov]

Yulia closed her eyes for a few moments. This felt so much better, the cold felt so good against her forehead. It was easy for her to just concentrate on that and not anything else. She felt so much better now, a million times better physically. However that did little enough for her mental state. She still didn’t understand why, and that was terrifying her. Still, what was she supposed to do?

Lia knew that she had three options. She could say nothing, she could talk to Ben, or she could talk to someone else. It might be nice to find someone anonymous, given how scared and frankly embarrassed she was. However that might take too long. What if it happened again? She didn’t even know what her trigger was for this, she couldn’t remember. Her brain felt fried out, god, had she done this herself? Yulia squeezed the icepack in her hand, resisting the urge to be sick now, but that anxiety was too difficult to quiet.

The ability to talk about things like this and to reach out about them had long since be trained out of Lia. After all, how could you trust someone with your life when they couldn’t control their own? Attempting to find help for an issue was a non-factor back then. However, she was a civilian now, a civilian in a whole different country. She could do what she wanted, right?

Lia had only reached out to Ben once before, well twice but only once for her own sake. She had been drunk, and that had made it ok. But now she was stone cold sober and just as scared. She wondered if he was too, given the state she had showed up in. That made her feel worse, knowing that he was worried, and then there was Josh too, what a situation to walk into. But then Josh asked if she was feeling better now. Yulia was quiet for a moment and then shook her head.

”No, I’m not.” She looked at Ben. ”I am scared, and I’m hurt, and I think I tried to hurt myself.”

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Ben grinned at Josh's anecdote, immediately reminded of the last time Yulia had tried to make him some comfort food when he was sick. "I guess not all of us are blessed with culinary talents." He teased, not at all taking himself seriously.

Without Josh's say so, Ben went to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge and brought it out, setting one on the table beside where Josh was sitting, before sitting back on the armchair he had occupied previously.

He was about to ask Josh of the purpose of his visit when Lia turned up. Her reply to Josh's question stunned him a little. The implications of this confession weighed on him as he tried to sift through the appropriate behaviour when there were guests around but nothing came to him.

"Lia..." his forced smile dropped just as he turned to address Josh. "Josh, I'm so sorry. I...would you excuse us for a minute?" Ben stood up, letting his bottle rest beside his book, not at all worried that the book might get ruined by the condensation just waiting to happen from the bottle.

He approached Lia and pushed her gently on her back, sending both of them to the music room. He didn't look at his housemate until the door properly clicked shut. "Highly inappropriate timing Lia," he chuckled mirthlessly before looking up at her. "What happened." Came his next statement.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh gaped at Yulia's answer. That had been the last confession he'd expected, one that concerned him to the core. He hadn't even got over the shock to probe further, however, when Ben essentially informed him that his presence was an imposition.

Really Josh was concerned for Yulia; he wanted to be sure she was fine. But on the other hand, she was closer to Ben, her roommate, so he certainly understood that they would want to discuss this alone.

"...It's no trouble at all." He agreed, feeling rather awkward indeed as the pair left him there on the sofa. He wondered if he ought to leave, but a desire to know that the young woman would be fine kept him rooted to his seat while he waited.

[Yulia Sokolov]

Lia used the only defense system that she had right now, and that was just standing there. In fact she just stood there for a moment and tried to convince herself that she hadn’t just said what she had said. It was too frightening and too.. embarrassing? Yes, in this case it was. They had company and she had just blurted that out. However, she couldn’t hold it in.

It was better to be honest now, or else she might never be able to say it and she didn’t know what that could result in. Actually, she feared what it might result in. What if the same thing happened again? The same accident, or rather, not accident. Still the shock on the faces of Josh and Ben made her think that she must have handled this incredibly incorrectly. She couldn’t force any more words out of her mouth, but I’m sorry was written all over her face.

Then Ben was on his feet and she turned in the direction he was headed. She expected this point but she winced and nearly jumped when he touched her back, but she moved into the music room all the same. She heard the door click.

“I know, I know. I am sorry.” He was right, and now poor Josh was just in their living room after having to witness so much awkwardness. Lia braced herself for the next part, but she was already feeling hysteria bubbling up in her. “I…” She realized her voice was shaking already and tried to contain it. “I don’t know. I think that I may have tried to kill myself. I don’t know!” She could barely even look at him. “I just… I jumped in front of a car. I jumped in front of a car and it hit me and then I woke up half over the curb. I don’t know why I did it, I can’t even remember how I got there. I can’t remember a thing about any of it. All I remember is jumping in front of the car and then waking up.” She darted a quick hand underneath each of her eyes.

“I don’t want to die, I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know why it happened, and I don’t know what happened. All I know is that I’m terrified.” She cut herself off then to take a good breath and then winced, her arms wrapping around her torso as best they could. “Ah, forgot to wrap my ribs.”

[Benjamin Rhodes]

Ben felt incredibly bad for leaving Josh unattended but there was no way he was letting Yulia deal with this alone. His crippling need to help her specifically was outweighing his hospitability. He would definitely make it up to Josh somehow.

As Yulia explained her situation, Ben's fists curled and uncurled, his fingernails leaving half moon marks on his palm. She wasn't making any sense but the picture she was painting for him was a horrible one. What could possibly have happened to the blonde Russian that she couldn't even remember why she jumped in front of a car?

And between wanting to slam his fist through something and locking Yulia up in a padded room, there really wasn't anything Ben wanted more to do than understand what Yulia was saying.

He sighed and left the room to get bandage from the kitchen, coming back to hand it over to Yulia. "We're getting you to a hospital. And then you're going to get some help. Maybe...maybe Dr. Neville. I don't know what to do here, Lia. A hug and lasagna won't help. And...why did you...who did you meet? What were you doing before you tried to kill yourself? Is it Evgeny? Did you see him again?" Ben asked, his eyebrow meeting in the middle. He remember Yulia had said something about seeing someone who looked like him but turned out that it wasn't him. Maybe Yulia saw him again.

[Yulia Sokolov]

As much as Lia didn’t want to she tried to search deeper for some reasoning or some way of explaining all of this. She knew that this wasn’t coming together for him, because it wasn’t coming together for her. It made no sense how this could have happened. Lia knew that, and yet knowing that was not comforting at all. It was a level of complicated that she was hard pressed to deal with.

Her mind spun in order to find some explanation, and there was a repetitive ache behind her right eye. That did tell her one thing, she had used her ability, and that just made her all the more anxious. She wasn’t like other metas in that usage was common. She couldn’t because she caused pain, just pain and death. What in the world had she done?

Lia took the bandage from Ben, but was fully distracted before she could even apply it the way it was needed. “No,” she said, swallowing a lump in her throat. “No, we can’t do that. If I go to the hospital they’ll ask questions. If I tell the truth then they might try to keep me there for a few days and all of this will get out everywhere. If I lie and say I was just hit by a car there’ll probably be an investigation. I don’t want that to happen, especially when I have none of the pieces together.” She was trying to be as rational about this as possible but her voice pitched between an anxious quiet with the occasional squeak of fright.

“As for Dr. Neville, he’s one of my co-workers. I judt don’t think it would be a good idea….” She knew why, and she knew that she’d have to tell Ben why. “He saw me, they all saw me, kill one of the MSAD agents without a second glance, with that behind me already I fear how this will look.” She knew that these answers might not be good enough. “I need time, Ben.”

“Evgeny… No, this wasn’t about him. Evgeny is alive, I found that out recently. He is alive and now he is working at Hammel. It turns out that he was undercover.” She sounded anything but pleased about this. “He still feels dead to me, regardless.” She tried to think harder back to where she had been and what she had been doing.

“I cannot remember exactly what I was doing, I think I was just walking.” Lia brought her voice down to a whisper as she decided now to confide what she knew she needed to tell him. “Whatever it was that happened, well, I think I used my ability. No, I know that I did. I can feel the backlash.”