Dinner for One [Open]

[Dylan Black]

Dylan has a face like thunder 90 percent of the time. He has a scowl that could curdle milk, and tends to mutter under his breath at the people around him. For the record, he doesn't especially like people. Kids, animals and the rare person he doesn't want to throw into a wild shredder - yes, there are wild shredders, at least when you're Dylan.

But no matter how hard Dylan avoids contact with people, there's no escaping it when it's time for shopping. Oh how Dylan HATES shopping.

Grizzling to himself as he pushed the cart round the aisles, he silently admired a large multipack of chips, and shoved it in. Currently his trolley consists of bread, cheese, butter, cereal, milk and ready meals. Grabbing for a large size pizza, he paused and sighed. Beside him, a woman bustled past and shoved a few other carts out the way.

There was a moment of contemplation as Dylan growled "Bitch" under his throat, then he winked at the cart she was pushing.

The cart began to wobble all over the place, careering into the freezers and shelves, knocking things all over the place as it tried to buck the items out of it. Silently, the grumpy animator gave a rare smirk, then turned to look down the aisle, away from the cart.

Hm. Caramel ice cream or chocolate?

[Jacob Lawrence]

Often Jake found himself shopping for his dogs more than for his own self. When he lived at the compound, he hadn't realized just how much food that they went through. But now that he had four he was supporting all on his own, he was a little bit blown away. Thankfully, he still had quite the fortune stowed away in offshore accounts that he was steadily but quietly dipping into while he was settling into his new life.

This time, however, he wasn't here for the dogs. He was leaning on the cart as he wandered somewhat aimlessly down the aisles. He'd already grabbed most of the essentials before remembering that there was a recipe that he'd been meaning to try. He had remembered how Morgan always told him that he couldn't keep living off take out and how delicious his home cooked meals had been. Once he moved into the new house, he had actually looked into making food on his own.

It was as he was making his way past the frozen goods that he noticed the woman with the bucking cart. He raised an eyebrow, tried not to laugh at her distress, then returned to pushing his cart. "Excuse me." He said politely as he passed the shorter dark-haired man, stopping his cart in front of the shelf to check which ingredients he needed for the wrinkled recipe he was holding.

[Dylan Black]

See, Dylan would love a dog, but he can only just afford to pay bills, feed Gillian the Axolotl, and just about feed himself. He wants a dog. He wants a dog so bad, he could sit with him and hate the existance of humans and teach him to pee on people. Yes, Dylan is that anti-social, but you knew this already.

Dylan can cook, surprisingly. He just couldn't afford much more than the basics when it came to cooking. Especially since he was cooking for one. Do you have any idea how costly it is making proper meals for just one person? Dylan only splashes out on pay day. He misses having his glazed pork and honey roast vegetables already.

Wait. Excuse me? There was enough room on the aisle for him not to pass so close. Creeper. Smirk fading within the space of 0.5 seconds, Dylan stared over at Jake with a frown. "Excuse yourself." He muttered rather dirtily, as the woman with the bucking cart careered towards them with frightening vigour. Oh boy. Being as gentlemanly as one grumpy animator can be, he dived to push Jake out of the way. Because technically if he was injured, he could be sued for cart tampering or some other bullshit. Shame the floor was so hard.

"Fuckshitassbags." He hissed as he got off the floor. "Watch yourself next time, you dopey shit."

[Jacob Lawrence]

Jake dearly loves all of his dogs and would gladly spend more on them than himself, but the whole teaching thing to pee on people? Not so much. The only person he'd like to see get urinated on would be Jesse and as far as he cares to know, that little twit got blown up with the compound. Yes, he's seen the aftermath and heard about the showdown and it made him uncomfortable and uneasy, but this time he wasn't going to let his life be controlled by MSAD. Besides, he made a promise to Levi that he was going to keep.

He caught the mumbled remark from the other man, but only rolled his eyes. It wasn't worth his time. Er... well, at least it wasn't until the jerk with the stick up his ass tackled him to the ground. Jake shouted in surprise when the sudden force struck him and his attempts to reach for support were a little too chaotic to succeed. He hid the cold tile floor with a thud and a groan. "Fucking... ugh."

Pushing himself up onto his elbows, he caught sight of the still rampaging cart with the idiot woman refusing to let go, then Dylan, and then glared. The fact that this man didn't even seem to be phased by the antics of the cart was all Jake needed to know. "Wouldn't have to if you would fucking control yourself." He huffed, pushing himself up off the floor. I mean, really, he just saved you from getting involved in a grocery store hit-and-run, so you should be thanking him, Jake.

Ah well, I guess getting tackled by strangers who then swear at you is enough to make manners go out the window.

[Dylan Black]

Dylan let out an angry scoff at the lack of gratitude Jake showed about being saved from turning into trolley fodder, and dusted himself off. "Ungrateful shit." He remarked angrily, moving back to the back of his own cart and glaring over at the man. "Probably just pretended not to see it so I could touch you." He added as a bitter afterthought, still refusing to remove his power from the cart. Next time he hoped it DID mow into the other man.

Pushing off and away from the other man, he paused and stared at him. "Fucking breeders." He snorted, before disappearing down the next aisle, flicking around in an even more tetchy mood than before. Stupid faggy weirdo with his face and bad manners. Glaring a hole in a bag of frozen peas wasn't particularly helping matters, and the grumpy janitor grit his teeth to temper himself. There was no point in trashing the store. It wasn't the frozen aisle's fault that people in Pilot Ridge were apparently the biggest bunch of morons in the entirety of the human population.

In fact, Dylan had just started to calm down again while sizing up which frozen pizza he should buy when he noticed the stupid asshole with the bad manners was ALSO coming down this aisle. Rolling up his sleeves in the manner he tends to do when he's either about to punch someone or animate something to do his dirty work for him, he turned around. "Just because I saved your pathetic ass doesn't mean you can stalk me." He sneered, eyebrow arched. "Hoping I'll fuck you against the freezers? Fat chance." He scoffed.

Stupid pretty boy and his stupid... existance.

[Jacob Lawrence]

Picking up the paper from the floor, Jake just grumbled something under his breath. Of all the things he could have done today, getting physically and verbally assaulted by some jackass at the supermarket was hardly what he wanted. "Yes. I wanted your grubby, filthy hands all over me." He huffed sarcastically, grabbing something off the shelf and tossing it into the cart haphazardly. Jake was so done with that idiot and turned to push his cart in the opposite direction, trying to push the jerk from his thoughts so he could finish his shopping.

The next few ingredients were found relatively quickly and with no unwanted disruption. He could still hear the rampaging cart a couple aisles over, but he'd let someone else deal with that. He'd had enough stupidity for one day, thank you very much.

Oh blast, speak of the devil.

Of course, there was the King of Dicks standing in the aisle he needed next. For a moment he contemplated skipping it and coming back later, but then he realized he shouldn't have to do that. So he didn't. He just casually pushed his cart along until he heard that vice shout out at him again. "Look, hard as it might be for you to believe, the world doesn't fucking revolve around you. So grow the hell up and get over yourself. I want nothing to do with you." Jake was scowling, this guy might have been even more annoying than Jesse, and that was saying something.

He simply turned his back, grabbed what he needed, then left the aisle as calmly as he walked in. Hopefully the jerk would catch the hint... if not we might have a grocery store brawl on our hands.

[Dylan Black]

Dylan was just about to seriously destroy Jake with his words when he realised he was still holding the bag of peas in his left hand. Right. Well. He knew where those were going asap. Using his strong arms - years of punching and using cleaning products do that to a man - he threw the bag with all his might at the bag of Jake's head, where it made a pleasant sounding thonk. "How about you get over yourself, dickbreath?" He growled, ignoring the stares from the other people in the aisles, and moving over to grab another bag, this time oven fries.

"I rescued your little fucked ass from a cart and all you do is bitch and complain about how I'm apparently some egotistic little fuck." He ranted, driving the trolley over and throwing another bag, this time at the man's backside. "Talk about backwards manners, where are you from? Hicksville?" He snarled, before drawing up beside Jake and narrowing his eyes.

"I don't know where you've been living for the past ten years but manners are a pretty important social skill, dipshit." Dylan added, standing in an aggressive stance, ignoring the height advantage the other man had over him. Height or not, Dylan had his power and years of punching under his belt, and sure, the little cart trolley stunt had made him a bit tired, but he had enough energy to mash Jake's face into not looking so disgustingly attractive.

He was just about to crush Jake against the freezer and cuss him out when a little kid walked past. Now, Dylan loves kids. Which is hilarious considering he hates everything else. At that moment he paused, smiled as sweetly as possible and let the child skip past merrily.

The second she was gone, however, Dylan's face instantly soured. "You've made an unbearably social act even more of a pain in my ass, fuckwit." He ranted, stabbing a finger in Jake's chest. "And for that you're going to pay." Apparently with more bags of peas. Beware the grumpy half-hispanic with frozen vegetables.

[Jacob Lawrence]

For the record, getting hit by a frozen bag of peas does not feel good. Actually, it kinda hurts like a bitch. Which would explain why Jake is rubbing the back of his head and swearing under his breath. "What the hell is your problem? You're not the only fucking person in this store." Jake was all prepared to just leave it at that, push his cart and walk away.

And then he got hit again.

"Fucking hell!" Yep, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Dylan started to invade his personal space and Jake just moved in closer. He wasn't going to back down from some midget with a bad attitude. "Alright, listen up, you pathetic little man. You didn't save me from anything. The only thing you were doing was protecting your own sorry ass because you obviously don't have a single shred of decency. Learn to control yourself, you filthy pig."

Jake shoved Dylan backwards, his face drawn into a disgusted frown. His day honestly hadn't started out so bad, but it was quickly taking a turn for the worse. "And before you start trying to fucking preach to me about manners, maybe you should take a look at yourself, you moronic little shit."

He was a little taken aback at the sudden change in demeanor the appearance of the child brought about, but it was gone nearly as soon as it came. He had somewhat hoped that would mark the end of their little encounter, but he was sorely mistaken. Dylan was right back in his face (more like his neck) in no time. Jake grabbed Dylan's offending finger and snarled, "Don't. Touch. Me." Oh yeah, I forgot Jake had a temper.

[Dylan Black]

"Oh grow the fuck up it was only a bag of peas. I didn't bottle you." Dylan grunted, sleeves still rolled up as he grabbed another bag, this time a kilo of mixed vegetables. "Catch, fuckhead." He growled, throwing the bag as hard as he could at Jake's offensive head.

"All I heard from that was "I'm a whiny bitch" so you'll have to reevaluate your speaking methods." Dylan added as Jake continued to rave at him, not even the slightest bit concerned by the difference in height between the pair of them. "And I'd rather be a filthy pig than a prissy faggot." He added in a nonchalant tone, shrugging his shoulders and about to actually move on when he was shoved backwards into his own cart.

Right. No more Mr. Nice Guy then. And yes, Dylan does classify his previous behaviour as being nice. I know. I'm so sorry Jake. "Don't fucking touch me you bag of dicks." He snarled, launching at the other man and knocking him into the freezer, one hand reaching to smother the man with the nearest bag of frozenness he could find. Sadly for Dylan, and luckily for Jake, this was the boxed icecream section they were now in, so he instead decided to grab one of the boxes and beat Jake over the head with it. Dylan can even turn the nicest of foods into a weapon. This makes me sad.

But the finger grab was the last thing Dylan expected, and he hissed ferally, before aiming a punch at Jake's jaw. "Why? What are you going to do? Vomit rainbows on me?" He growled, standing in a defiant stance and waiting for Jake to retaliate, a smug smirk taunting the other man on his face. "Or maybe do a prissy bitchslap? Please, I'm terrified."

[Jacob Lawrence]

Reflex helped Jake to deflect the second bag of frozen vegetables that Dylan threw his way. He couldn't believe how this guy was acting and he couldn't help but to wonder how pathetic his life had to be in order for him to pick a fight over something so stupid. Jake knew he should have just walked away, it would save a lot of headache, but he couldn't let this self-absorbed jerk get away with his immature comments... or throwing things. (Honestly, how old was he? Three?)

Jake just groaned and rolled his eyes at the words that came out of Dylan's mouth. Offended? Hardly. "Your South Park vocabulary is cute, but if you're trying to insult me, you'll have to do better than that. It's hard to be intimidated by a kid with a foul mouth." He was about to make some sort of comment about washing it out with soap when he found himself being knocked back into the freezer.

Or course, Jake wasn't going to take the ice cream assault laying down. He grabbed Dylan's forearms to stop him, then used a kick to Dylan's chest to put some distance between them. He pushed himself out of the freezer only to be greeted by the animator's fist. It split his lip and hurt like hell, but he wasn't about to show it. "Actually, this is what I had in mind." Jake's hand curled into a fist and swung at Dylan's face in retaliation, but he didn't stop there. It was followed by another and then completed with a punch to Dylan's stomach.

Oh boys.

[Dylan Black]

As Dylan was furiously pummeling icecream into Jake's forehead, he became aware he was travelling backwards, and was now winded. Taking a deep breath and trying to catch himself, he spat down at Jake, then narrowed his eyes. "South Park language? Fuck you." He growled, about to swing another fist when the man threw three. His nose went crunch for the twenty-somethingth time in his short life, and he winced when the blow to his stomach came. He felt a bit sick, if he was honest, and he made sure that if he was going to throw up, it'd be all over this asshole's clothes.

Lifting his hand and crunching his nose back into position -and ignoring the blood coming from it- Dylan charged once again, more or less enraged by the fact this dumb shit had shown up out of nowhere and made life that bit harder. "Go fuck yourself, shitbox." He added, throwing a fist at Jake's abdomen, then kneeing him in the crotch. "People like you are the sludge at the bottom of the cesspool of life." He added, spitting blood out and then fisting his hands in Jake's collar.

With a heave - since Jake was not only taller, but significantly more heavily built than our average hispanic gent - he threw the man with all his might to the cart, and was about to launch an elbow right into that sparkly pretty little face of his when he began dimly aware someone was holding him round the waist. Ah. Security. He knew they'd show up at some point.

"I'm sorry sir, but this behaviour is unacceptable in our store. I'll have to escort you both out of the premises." Dylan wrinkled his nose, then winced as the tender skin protested. He was going to shrug it off and give Jake an extra kick for good measure, but fuck these security guys were burly, and even our dear antisocial animator wasn't stupid enough to pick a free-for-all with these men.

A few minutes later and Dylan was stood outside the store, fists clenched. Great. Now he'd have to go the next store over for his groceries and it was all the jerk standing opposite's fault. How he absolutely fucking despised social occasions. And, with an aggressive snort, he shoved a cart in Jake's general direction.

I'm so sorry Jake. Dylan has hate.

[Jacob Lawrence]

Jake was all riled up, ready to keep fighting despite the fact that there was a voice of sanity in the back of his head screaming at him that this was stupid and foolish, but then Dylan hit below the belt. Literally. Jake wheezed at the sudden sharp influx of pain and collapsed to his knees in the middle of the aisle. At this point, anything that Dylan says or does is just overkill. Jake's been successfully disabled.

He wanted to say something about how Dylan was the lowest of the low, how he couldn't even fight fair, but all that came out was a pained groan. (And not the good kind of pain, either.) He didn't even have it in him to resist when Dylan threw him back against the cart. His back hit the handle hard enough to knock the wind out of him, but he rescued from further beating when security showed up and restrained the maniac that was hellbent on trying to hurt him (and succeeding for the most part.)

Jake was just starting to recoup when they were lead outside by the security, not protesting their presence at all for the time being. Sure, all his shopping was still inside the store, but looking at Dylan's bloody face was enough to make him feel a little better. The bastard deserved all of that and more. "If you'd kept your fucking hands to yourself we wouldn't have this problem, asshole." He grunted, catching the cart before it could hit him.

"You're a worthless piece of shit. I hope you know that." Jake scowled, wiping the blood from his lip, then turned to walk back towards his car. He didn't feel like putting up with this jackass any longer than he needed to.

[Dylan Black]

Dylan stood outside with his body absolutely seething with rage, one sleeve going up to smear away the blood from his nose. The rest he licked, then spat back out, disappointed the cart didn't completely fuck this jerk's shit right up. He grit his teeth when Jake made a comment about keeping his hands to himself and stormed back over, grabbing the man by the shirt collar and slamming him against the nearest wall. "If you'd been a grateful piece of shit then none of this fuckery would have happened, actually." He said with a growl.

"And you're the rudest faggot that ever fell off the top of the christmas tree." He sneered, making sure the man couldn't escape his pinning from the wall. For a few short intense moments, he just stared down this man who had completely ruined an already shitty task. This was the reason Dylan was a social recluse; everyone he met was a giant pile of shit strung together with the vacant braincells of an amoeba.

"All you had to do was say thank you. But you didn't because you've got a dick stuffed so far up your ass you have to take it out of your mouth and be a dickhead." He snarled, about to grip the idiot's throat and crush it till he could shut the hell up and stop being a waste of vital resources, when he realised they were far too close. He could SMELL this pretty boy and it was all cologne and man-smell. He was going to gag, but found his lips on his.

It didn't last longer than a few milliseconds, as Dylan wheeled back, hissing. "You KISSED me. Get the FUCK away." Wiping his mouth, he spat out again and began backing away. "Go the fuck back to where you came from, whatever hole of a place that is." Defensive? Oh yes.

[Jacob Lawrence]

Jake's already bruised back complained as he was once again shoved against something, trying to fight back the wince that threatened to overtake his face. He had just wanted to leave, go home and forget that this had happened. Unfortunately for him, Dylan doesn't know how to let things go.

"Wrong again, you pathetic sack of shit." Jake hissed, narrowing his eyes as he stared Dylan down. "When you grow the fuck up, you might understand. You're nothing but a stupid kid." And Jake knew all about stupid kids. Case in point: Jesse. But Gabe was gone now and there was no one to protect Dylan.

He put his hands up and made as if he were going to shove Dylan off of him, but before he could, Dylan kissed him. Jake would have recoiled if there had been room too, but he just pushed himself further back into the wall. Jake swore when Dylan finally backed off, spitting repeatedly on the ground. "Fuck you! You kissed me, you sick bastard!" And Jake was not going to have any of the blame that rested solely on Dylan's shoulders.

He threw his fist into Dylan's jaw for one last time. "You're a disgusting waste of life." Jake spat, crunching his knuckles, then determinedly walking back to his car to put as much distance as he could between him and that freak of nature. He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, then spit on the pavement again before sliding into the car and slamming the door, peeling out of the parking lot while practically growling insults at Dylan.