Better than Chuck Norris (Closed)

[Josef Muller]

It was late in the evening, but not as late as it could have been. But Josef was still closing up, because it was late enough and it had been a very long and tiring day. This was the day when he didn’t have anyone working to assist him, which meant that he was kept doing the contracts, the phone calls, the lessons, everything.

As a result, it was earlier than usual as he mopped down the floors and the windows and the chairs. He didn’t think he had any more classes for the night, nor any appointments, and he was looking forward to getting some rest. And taking a shower. That sounded wonderful. Perhaps it was time to hire someone beyond an assistant—perhaps someone a little more of an equal who could take up the teaching load. He’d just take him for a few evenings so he could have some time off to do something simple, like dinner with friends without smelling like he’d just spent the whole day working out. But that was something to worry about for another day. He’d just finished tidying up and was leaning against the broom, idly surveying his surroundings, when the door opened. He lifted his head to study the man who’d entered, and his brows climbed.

“Can I help you?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. “I’m afraid I’m just closing up now, but I can give you a schedule and some information if you’d like to start with that.” This one seemed a little old for that, though. And too sturdy. Although it was nice to see that someone in this town was shorter than him. But that was mean, so he offered a smile and leaned forward to extend his hand. “I’m Josef Muller. Nice to meet you.”

[Terrowin Guthrie]

"Muller's Self Defense," Terrowin muttered to himself, glancing down at a small brochure he had picked up while shopping around that day. A plain name, he thought, but hopefully it had some potential. He had heard of it before from some of his students that practiced there on occasion, but he had surprisingly never really visited it himself. Between working as a Phys. Ed. teacher for Hammel and practicing his own training in his spare time, he hadn't thought about looking for another place to train, let alone a possible new job, until recently, when he cut back a few of his classes to allow himself some free time. However, he soon realized that, with his impatience and habit of getting things done far faster than most, he needed something else to occupy his time.

And so, he had ran across a brochure for the organization, and decided to check it out.

After he located the building, he found a place to park and hopped out of his car, a bright red sports car he had purchased soon after getting the job at Hammel. He slipped the piece of paper into his pocket with a quick flash of the wrist and walked quickly into the dojo, darting his head around when he heard a voice greet him. "G'day, mate," he replied with a smile. "Or rather, g'night." He assumed this was Mr. Muller himself - who else would be alone at the building this time of the day? - and was quickly met with an answer. He took the hand that was offered and gave it a few quick shakes. "Nice tae meet ye, too, Josef. Name's Terrowin. Oi heard o' your place from a few o' me students at the Institute, an' Oi was actually wonderin' if ye needed any extra hands here. Oi have quite a few years o' experience in self-defense, an' Oi could use another outlet tae, ah, spend my time." He decided he liked the man already; he was quick, professional, and to the point. And for some reason, his name rang a bell, but he pushed the thought aside. He knew had run into so many people in the past few years, sometimes he felt like he knew everyone. "Oi'm free pretty much any evenin', an' Oi can be flexible." Probably should have found out if he even needs help before telling him that... he thought belatedly, always one to skip ahead before waiting for an answer.

[Josef Muller]

Josef’s reaction to Terrowin was…bemusement. After shaking his hand, he returned to leaning against the mop and listened in amusement, still leaned against the broom, as he proceeded to talk quite quickly, in a very strong Australian accent. That was new. Growing up in the Midwest, and then moving to Hammel, he’d never encountered a lot of foreigners. Truthfully, he wasn’t very worldly at all. It wasn’t until he’d gotten to DC that he’d started meeting a wider range of people, and he’d discovered that there were some advantages to learning about different cultures. But being ignorant in that sense hadn’t bothered him. The U.S. was big enough for a man who’d never had big plans. He’d learn what he could and that was that. For better or for worse, Josef wasn’t the kind who dreamed big.

But this fellow had good timing. He’d been thinking that he needed an assistant, and here one was, at his doorstep. It left him feeling a bit suspicious, but he did happen to believe in coincidence, so he shrugged his shoulders. Well, it was a plus he wasn’t expecting, but he’d go with it.

“As a matter of fact, I could,” he said. He crossed the room to put the broom away in a cabinet he’d bought just for cleaning supplies, then returned to the mat. “I’m always up for more help. Right now it’s just me and a few students.” He flashed him a grin. “Could use an adult to help out around the place. What do you do up at Hammel? I used to go there when I was younger.” As he spoke, he scanned the room idly. Well, he was closed up for the night, and although he was tired, he thought he could stand to do one more bout. One of his tests for his black belt had been sparring for several hours straight. He had good stamina, and it was late—they’d probably be evenly matched.

And if they weren’t and Terrowin was the superior, all the better. Maybe he could even manage to take a few nights off here and there. God, would that be nice…

“What kind of martial arts do you have training in?” he asked, turning his attention to Terrowin. He absently assumed an at-ease stance. It had been engrained in him since he was very young. These days it just came as a force of habit. “And would you mind a demonstration? We can do it later, of course, but I’m looking for someone to take over some classes for me at some point, and I’d like to see what you can do.”

[Terrowin Guthrie]

Terrowin grinned wider at Josef's answer. He hadn't gotten his hopes up, in case the man was already booked with employees, but it sounded like the open position was just what he wanted. He was already used to 'bossing' (as he jokingly called it) kids around, and getting a little extra money doing just that would be great. He watched as Josef placed his broom away before replying,"Sounds great, mate! Oi was afraid ye might not have somethin' open, but that sounds perfect. Oi can get ye a copy of me resume tomorrow..." Ah, he should have thought of that sooner. He was too much in a rush to get out of the Institute, he had totally forgotten to bring it with him. Oh well.

Terrowin chuckled at Josef's question. "Oi actually teach physical education, so ye could say Oi have a bit o' experience keepin' kids under control...." Especially kids gifted with abilities anywhere from telepathy to shape-shifting to pyrokinetics. He had never taught anywhere else, so he was used to the usual insanity of a meta-human classroom, but it was still difficult at times, to say the least. He tilted his head in curiosity. "Ye were a student too? Tha' must be why yer name sounds slightly familiar... Ye must've graduated a few years before me." If he was guessing right, he guessed that the man was in his mid- to late-thirties, not too much older than the 30-year-old himself. It wasn't impossible that they had passed by each other before.

He followed Josef's gaze as he glanced around the room, making his own observations of the space and the objects in it. He had a feeling a resume wouldn't be the only initiation required, and he felt a jolt of energy course through him at the thought of showing off his skills. "When Oi lived in Australia as a boy, Oi was, well... Oi was picked on a lot. S'how Oi got these scars," he added, motioning absent-mindedly to a few faded scars on his left arm. "Anyway, mum an' dad found an' old master in wushu and kung fu, an' Oi trained with him for quite a few years. Even after Oi moved tae the U.S, Oi kept practicin' and meetin' with him occasionally throughout my life. Oi'm a, ah, fast learner, so I learned a lot in the first few years." No need to mention how fast of a learner he was, he was going to leave that little secret until they had a playful duel... "Oi know a bit o' tai chi too, though it's a little too... Slow fer my taste." He couldn't help but wonder what gift it was that Josef possessed, but he decided he wouldn't ask unless Josef asked first.

A slow smile crept up his face at the mention of a demonstration. "Oi'm ready anytime ye are, mate. Now is perfectly fine fer me... Unless yer too tired." He winked, risking the slight but innocent jab in order to get the man's competitive nature out. Anyone that practiced martial arts had it, and he had found out in the past that a prod at one's pride often led to the best (if most painful) duels. Hopefully Josef wouldn't take offense.

[Josef Muller]

He had a resume too? That was a nice change from the usual. Whenever Josef had hired others before—he’d managed to get a high enough position at the gym he’d worked with to actually begin to hire people—he was used to getting all sorts of things, including horrendously organized resumes to no resume at all and a grin and a wink and a promise that they were a “hard worker.” He was quite pleased to find out that this one seemed slightly more together. “Don’t worry about it,” he said with a grin. “Whenever you can. If you’re capable here, and you’re capable of teaching a class, then the references can wait.” And if he had experience in physical education, he was willing to bet that the man was indeed capable. Good. He thought he could use a break.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said with a nod. And at his statement, his lips twitched into a smile, and he nodded in agreement. “I did. I graduated…a long time ago. But who knows? Perhaps we met then.” Or he might’ve been working as a recruiter by then. He suspected the other man was a good deal younger than he was. It didn’t matter. He folded his arms over his chest as he listened to Terrowin’s words, and his lips turned down to a frown. Had he been picked on a lot? Well, it wasn’t the first time he’d heard that story. He’d been largely left alone, but he’d also started very early with his own self-defense lessons.

“That’s impressive,” he said at last. “Very impressive. As for me, I specialize in judo and isshin-ryu, along with some tae-kwon-do that I practice with an assistant of mine.” He was learning that bit by bit, some with his ability and most just with practice and work. It was necessary. If he relied just on his ability, he would lose something else, and that was no good at all.

His lips turned up into a faint smile at the jab. He knew what Terrowin was doing and wasn’t afraid of it. That kind of talk was part of what made sparring fun in the first place.

“I’m never too tired,” he said innocently, shifting into a defensive stance. “On your guard, hm?” And then he lunged forward with a punch towards the man’s abdomen. He wanted to make sure he was good, after all, and that meant no fair warning.

[Terrowin Guthrie]

((I expect this part of the rp to be a bit shorter now... It's kinda hard to rp a duel XD Also, I decided we should probably do a separate rp for Eugene and Kat... I'll see if we can get a board up for The Globe, Eugene's theater ))


"Whatever ye need, mate, just let me know. Oi'm willin' tae do whatever tae make a good impression." He didn't mean to sound desperate, and he wasn't really, but he wanted to make sure Josef knew that he was serious about the position. He may be a little goofy and immature on occasion, but he knew how to act serious when he wanted something. And an opportunity to earn extra cash while doing what he did best was definitely something he wanted.

"Oi graduated in 1999... Crikey, that makes me feel old." He let out a bark of laughter. "Ah well, life goes on. Before we know it, we could be swappin' stories in wheelchairs, eh?" Not that he could stand to be in a wheelchair. He would sooner kill himself than be unable to walk or run.

"Those are some serious martial arts. Oi tried tae get into judo... But my, ah, stature is a hindrance. Oi ended up gettin' thrown way more often than Oi'd like tae admit. Maybe ye can teach me a thing or two, eh?" He liked kung fu because it could be changed slightly to fit any size or shape of a person so that they got the best advantage over their opponent. Terrowin had soon mastered the ability to overpower large opponents in that way, especially as most of his bullies had been much taller and broader than he.

He had been expecting the blow from the moment the suggestion of a fight had been mentioned, and the slightest twitch of Josef's wrist before the punch alerted Terrowin of what was about to happen. He quickly calculated the angle of the punch and acted accordingly, spinning to the left while swinging out his right arm to counter the punch with a block. It all happened in the span of half a second, and short enough period of time to alert Josef to his ability. With a flash of a grin, he then let loose his own attack, a swift side kick to Josef's chest. He slowed down just enough to allow Josef to counter if needed, but not enough to make it easy on him. Unless Josef had a useful ability, Terrowin wasn't sure how long he would be able to dodge his quick blows. But he wasn't going to underestimate him - for all he knew, the man had super speed too.

[Josef Muller]

His lips twitched into a smile at the laugh, and he lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “You think you’re old? By ’97 I was already a recruiter. Brood on that for a while.” He grinned at him. “And it’s quite possible. An occupational hazard, working in these kinds of jobs. There’s always a chance you’ll end up in a wheelchair.” And it was sad because it was true. Chances were that Josef’s old age wouldn’t be a happy one with how he made a living. It tended to play havoc on your body. But he was young(ish) yet, and that was what painkillers were for anyways.

He nodded in agreement at the judo statement. “That was part of the reason I picked it.” Being all of two inches taller than Terrowin, he could sympathize. “But I can teach you a few things. Sometimes it’s more beneficial to be the shorter one.” And then, having gone to tournaments, he also knew that there were definite advantages to being taller. And heavier. Yeah…

And apparently, there was an advantage to being faster too. His brows climbed as he was blocked, and then spun to block as Terrowin aimed a kick to his own chest. Speed was not his advantage. Josef could punch hard and could take a blow, but speed was something he’d picked up on over time and so, of course, had lost a little with age.

The man had superspeed. Well, in spite of all his training, this was going to be a rather short duel after all. He didn’t think he could stand up to superspeed. Assumed muscle memory could only copy a skill, not the speed. If he could take him out early, perhaps…With that in mind, he tried to swipe his ankle out from under him, hoping to gain an advantage that way.

[Terrowin Guthrie]

After a few seconds of fighting, Terrowin came to the conclusion that speed was not Josef's ability. He was very skilled, no doubt, but when an opponent moves three or four times faster than you, it's nearly impossible to win without resorting to dirty tricks. He was curious, though, to know what Josef's ability was. "Ifyedon'tmindmeaskin', wot'syergift,eh?" He let out a sharp bark of laughter; when he was pumped with adrenaline and not paying attention, he had a habit of speaking as fast as he moved.

He caught the swipe coming his way out of the corner of his eye and grinned, understanding what Josef was trying to do. Instead of avoiding the move, as he easily could have done, he let Josef's foot catch his ankle and send him backwards. Instead of falling onto his back, though, he spun into a complicated butterfly kick, lifting both feet into the air with his arms outstretched. He landed to Josef's right and sent out a feint jab to his head before copying his previous move and swiping his leg out at Josef's ankle. He was curious to see how he would react or counter the movement.

[Josef Muller]

Josef knew that he was unlikely to win this. He was good enough and, in spite of his pride in his abilities (not always unfairly earned, mind, but still there), practical enough to know when he would be fairly and easily beaten. And it was clear he would be beaten. But he was going to try and figure this out anyways and do his best. He laughed at the man’s rushed statement, and twisted to block the kick. So far he was managing, although he knew that working with forcing against that speed was going to wear him out. So perhaps it was time to level the playing field. He wasn’t as fast, but he was heavier and larger and knew techniques that didn’t rely on speed so much as skill. So when he swiped at his ankle, he let himself fall, but tried to grip Terrowin’s arms to pull him down with him. That was a judo move. He said he hadn’t known anything about it—well, he was willing to work with that. Sometimes you worked on being up close and personal. And maybe this would help with the speed thing.

[Terrowin Guthrie]

Terrowin knew that, if not for his abilities, he could be beaten by Josef. He really was very good - swift, quick-thinking, and knowledgeable. He was simply faster, and that made an unfair advantage. He nodded in appreciation at the blocked kick, and was unprepared at the unexpected judo move. Like he had done previously, Josef used his own backward momentum to his advantage, and it was enough to knock Terrowin off-balance. He was unfamiliar with the rough-and-tumble action of that specific martial art, and had to put his swift-working brain to the max to figure out a retaliation. He knew a few rolls, so as he was pulled forward he tucked in his chin and prepared his body to slam against the floor. He managed to land on his back, but it was only his ability that allowed him to recover and be back on his feet before Josef. "That was a dirty trick, mate," he grinned, leaning down and pressing his elbow against Josef's neck. "But very effective." He still didn't even know what the man's power was - strength? Endurance? It was hard to tell. But speed had managed to keep him a little bit ahead of the game, at least this round. Josef's unique strategies were definitely something he would keep in mind in future matches.

[Josef Muller]

Apparently, Terrowin knew enough to make things difficult for him. They rolled as they were knocked off balance, but as Josef was just prepping to get up onto his feet and face against him again, his elbow was against his neck and he was left staring up at Terrowin, mildly out of breath but not so much as could be expected from a forty-year-old man facing someone ten years his junior. He bared his teeth at a grin at Terrowin.

“Not effective enough,” he agreed amiably, remaining where he was. What? He was tired and to be frank, he was just glad to be lying down for a while. But he did prop himself up on his elbows so he was a little more upright. “Lesson number one—the one I always teach—is that no trick is dirty when you’re fighting. Besides, you said you didn’t know judo, and I needed every advantage I could get.” He tilted his head to the side. “Let me guess—superspeed? Me, I’ve got assumed muscle memory. Good for learning but not great in a pinch. Mind giving me a hand up?” It really wasn’t a very uncomfortable floor, and he was beginning to feel inclined to just stay there for a while. That was probably a bad sign.

[Terrowin Guthrie]

"Ach, without my quick thinkin' an' expertise, ye woulda had me with that move. But yer right - in a real fight, Oi probably woulda gone fer the dirtiest trick tae begin with. Helped me back when Oi was a lad in Australia." He motioned to the pelvic region, his meaning obvious. "No matter how strong a man is, he'll fall over in seconds with a blow there!"

He chuckled lightly, offering Josef a hand up. He was hardly panting, the same as Terrowin, and that impressed the younger man. He hoped he was still that fit at his age. "Yeah, super speed's my specialty. Quicker thinkin' too, which is almost as crucial in fightin' as quick reflexes. Even with my speed, Oi doubt Oi would've thought of something in time tae counter yer... 'dirty' tricks." He placed a hand on his hip and studied the man. "Assumed muscle memory, eh? Definitely useful in martial arts, although I'm sure it's hard to adjust yer body when yer not used tae trying a new move. Am Oi right?" That would be a hard way to learn, he was sure. Being able to copy movements perfectly, but not have your body prepped for them? He thought he would rather learn from scratch. Nevertheless, he had to give the man credit. He had obviously worked hard anyway.

"So, whaddaya think?" he asked, grinning. "Did Oi pass the test? Can ye hire me?"

[Josef Muller]

“Well, it’s nice to think that I could’ve had some kind of edge.” Josef laughed and nodded. “That so, huh? Rough childhood?” He shook his head at the mention of a kick. It really was true. Josef had only resorted to such methods once or twice in his life. He had a good punch and his goal was never to be put in such a desperate position that it was the only option left.

That, and Josef really hadn’t gotten into many fights that weren’t sparring, tournaments, boxing or stupidity. And the last ones never really involved anything as clever as kicking where the sun didn’t shine.

He muttered his thanks for the hand as he got to his feet and was brushing himself off as Terrowin spoke. He flashed him a grin. “Quick thinking, too? Now that’s one hell of an advantage. And it is useful, although I do yoga every morning in order to make sure I don’t pull something.” That had really bothered him when he’d been younger but now that he was older he was just grateful he went home without being in utter agony. “And I don’t use it much these days anyways.” He smiled at Terrowin, then laughed at the question. “You kidding? I’d be delighted to hire you. Think Hammel would mind? I could always just pay you under the table.” To get help, he’d face any auditors who dared comment. Besides, he was doing well enough on his own that he thought he could manage it.

[Terrowin Guthrie]

"Yeah... Ye could say that," Terrowin replied about his childhood, rubbing the back of his head. Those weren't fond memories. Even when he was able to get the upper hand in those matches, he had never really felt happy, only remorseful that he had had to go to such lengths to keep himself safe. "But what's past is past. An' if it weren't for them, Oi never woulda started practicing martial arts!" It was true. His main reason for learning self-defense was for... Well, self-defense.

He raised his eyebrows. "Yoga, eh? Oi tried that once, but it was a bit too... Ah, slow fer me." His impatience was one of his biggest problems, and anything that he had to sit still for more than a few minutes drove him crazy. "Definitely sounds useful fer yer ability, though!"

At his answer, a wide, delighted grin spread across Terrowin's face. "Oi'm so glad tae hear that! Ye won't regret hirin' me, Oi promise." He would have to make sure he was on his best behavior... At least for a little while. He had a habit of turning into an immature doofus on weekends, but he thought he could manage to keep his maturity in check for the time being. "Oi'm sure Hammel won't mind. As long as it doesn't interact with my classes, Oi don't see any reason fer them to object." Awesome! He could now spend even more time doing what he loved.

((I'd say that's an end to the rp, unless you wanted to add anything else c: ))