My Lady's Eyes(Adrianna)

[Lani Hunter]

As Lani rushed to his girlfriend’s side he couldn’t help but dwell on the feeling of hurt. What did this mean? Adrianna already meant a lot to him, but her doubting him struck him far deeper than he had expected. He listened to her but somehow the explanation felt empty. It didn’t stop the fact that she had believed a man known for lying over her boyfriend. Sure he hung out with Odion and they drank together, and alright maybe her worries were justified in the confusion of feeling he was having toward both Adrianna and Odion but while he was committed to Adrianna he would never act on these feelings. But that didn’t stop him from being jealous of Rhett and wanting Odion to kick him to the curb. He was regretting having promised not to seek out the other blond but there were more important things at hand.

Lani couldn’t help the anger that rose in him. That was just how he dealt with hurt. Had he been face to face with her and seen the fear in her eyes he would have softly quelled them and ignored his own feelings until later. But over the phone all he heard was her tears and her doubt. Those tears could have been because she was sad because she already counted Lani lost. “You’re acting like I’ve already done something,” Lani accused harshly, “Why don’t you stand up for yourself instead of letting him walk over you?” Again, he reacted with anger. He knew he shouldn’t and he knew he shouldn’t have said those things to her. She had called him hoping for reassurance and had gotten bitten on the hand. He shook his head, he had no excuse for what he had said. Because he knew what he was saying and he knew that he was striking to hurt. “I know,” he said as he ran, “I cannot wait to meet this guy.” His anger had been directed away from Adrianna and back at the man who really deserved it.

Oh it was good that Lani didn’t have a power that allowed him to call lightning or whirlwinds or else he would tear the place apart. Telekinesis at least could be satisfied by picking up twigs and throwing them. At least for now. The rush to get to her side to apologize for his words and assure her that he would not betray her Lani took the stairs two at a time and skidded a little as he came to her door. Flinging it open he saw her on the bed hugging her pillow and her face red with tears. After he greeted her he dropped his phone and swallowed her in a hug. He found so much comfort in her embrace that he held her closer and inhaled in the smell of her hair. He panted lightly and for a long time just wanted to stand here and hold her waiting for time to stop.

Lani was glad he had been able to suck back the tears threatening to fall. One person crying was enough for this situation. He shook his head at her. “I’m sorry,” he told her as well. He pulled away finally knocking to door closed with his foot and he took her face in his hands. Gently he cradled her face and wiped away her tears. “Adrianna, I’m sorry.” He repeated, “I didn’t mean it.” He reached up and smoothed her hair. He had every intention of begging her for forgiveness. “But please... Have I done anything to make you doubt me?"

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna understood that Lani was upset by her doubts. She’d have been the same way. That didn’t mean she wanted to hurt him by telling him this. It wasn’t what she’d set out to do by any means. She had expected that Lani and Odion hung out. She didn’t even care that they went drinking because that was something guys did to bond. She could understand all of that, but it didn’t help that Rhett had a way of pulling the past card and playing it. He knew how she felt about the thing with Talen and he knew it would do what he wanted. She was weak. Lani should have known that no matter how many times he said she was strong, it wouldn’t change anything.

His anger towards her made her curl in on herself and wish that she could just disappear. To be honest, she’d never thought Lani would make her want to disappear. She didn’t blame him, she never would. Everything was always her fault no matter what it was. She cringed again at his accusation and stayed silent. She didn’t want to feed into his anger or his pain. Adrian already felt like she was going to burst from her own pain. She didn’t need to add his pain onto hers. Then she really would burst. Her trembling was starting to get out of hand and it was a wonder she hadn’t dropped her phone. The redirection of anger had been helpful in order to calm her, but it didn’t take away the guilt.

Once she was taken into his arms, she started to feel better. Feeling his strong arms close around her and the warmth from his body was slowly starting to relax her. Adrianna was comforted by his closeness as she usually was and was thankful that he’d rushed to find her regardless of their arguing. The rise and fall of his chest and the frantic beating of his heart were parts of him that she’d been craving just moments ago. Her pain was subsiding, but it hadn’t gone away. She just wished none of this would have happened, but now she was just relieved that he still was there for her.

His apology made her shake her head as well. Why was he sorry? He didn’t have a reason to be. As he pulled back she looked up at him with her wide, innocent eyes filled to the brim with tears. His thumbs brushed across her cheeks and her lower lip trembled. She curled her fingers in the bottom of his shirt to keep him close and just listened to him talk, his soft voice soothing her. She shook her head at his question and bit on her lip as it quivered again, “I didn’t mean for this to happen…”

[Lani Hunter]

Just having her in his arms made the world seem a little better. They weren’t breaking up, they had been fighting, the first one. But who knew if it was even over yet. Lani was certainly no less filled with rage, that had just taken a back seat to his need to comfort Adrianna. And Adrianna was certainly still upset. The things said were not kind things and ruffled feathers still needed to be smoothed. Egos had been bruised and needed tending, feelings had been hurt and needed mending. He didn’t want to let her go, not yet. Not until he was sure she was not going to disappear on him. His breath steadied but his heartbeat reused to slow. Lani’s eyes closed tight and he wanted to shut out the world like he used to do when he was with her. But the world seemed to have come crashing through the door of their happiness.

She was shaking her head and so he shook his back at her. They had only been dating a few months but for some reason this was so hard. He didn’t think it would be so hard keeping this lie. Not that it was hard to keep, but emotionally he was hating himself for it. He pulled her back into his arms and shook his head. “No, I know,” he told her. He really did want to understand. He hadn’t before but he thought he did now. “It’s not your fault. None of this is,” Lani said. “All of this came from that bastard.” He pulled away but not letting go of her hands. His eyes blazed with anger and he found he had to turn away as he felt the sudden onset of rage. He really should have waited until he had calmed down a little before he came.

He whirled away from her for a moment his fist rising as if he would strike at something but he held back the desire. He dropped his hand and turned back to her. “No. None of this is your fault it’s his.” Lani said darkly. “I don’t know what he’s hoping to gain from getting to us like this but it won’t work.” He reached out for her wanting to feel her soft hands in his. “He’s done this. Not you. He hit you where he knew it would hurt. But I swear to you Adrianna, I will not betray you.” Not, at least not on purpose. But she didn't need to know that. He needed to tell her what she wanted to hear right now. He couldn't be honest and say that he was confused in what he was feeling because he liked Adrianna, perhaps was growing to love. But then Odion was his dearest friend and should Adrianna and Odion ever do battle Lani really wasn't sure which side he would take. Oh yes, he knew what side he should take but... not whose he would want to take.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Breaking up hadn’t even crossed Adrian’s mind while this whole thing had been happening. Just because they fought didn’t automatically mean that they couldn’t fix their problem. She was still upset and scared, but not because she doubted him anymore, but because Rhett was out to ruin relationships and he had caused their first fight. As much as she wished she could just be angry with Rhett now, she still couldn’t stop the flow of tears falling from her eyes. Lani’s anger she knew had been out of reaction to what she’d said and she knew that he didn’t mean it against her. Maybe the words, but not the way he’d said it. Anger had strange ways of working, she hadn’t hit that point yet, but it was going to happen as soon as she got over the initial scare that she’d went through. The longer she was held by him, the more she relaxed and the better she felt about them. How she’d managed to doubt him was a mystery to even her.

Adri couldn’t keep from blaming herself. It was a natural reaction for her. When she was younger, she even blamed herself for her mother’s illness. It was hardwired into her brain because that was exactly how her mother was. She buried her face in his chest as he held her and closed her eyes as she took in the scent of his shirt, his detergent, his cologne, all of the things she’d missed while they were fighting on the phone. She frowned and squeezed his fingers reassuringly as he spoke, the anger becoming prominent in his tone again. Once he turned away she chewed on her lower lip, her eyebrows pulling together, “Lani…”

His hand raised, but she didn’t move because she knew that he wouldn’t hurt her and she wasn’t afraid of him. And shortly after his hand fell back to his side and he looked back at her. She reached for him when he did and she took his hands, entwining their fingers together. “I know, I know,” Adrianna said softly. She wished she knew what to say, something that would put him at ease. Something that would make him feel better. Adri reached up with one of her hands, the other staying closed in his, and brushed her fingers along his cheek bone and down his jaw. “Lani I trust you, I may have had a momentary lapse in that for some insane reason, but I do trust you. I know you’re angry with Rhett, and I am too, but we’re together now and everything is going to be okay,” She stretched up and pressed her lips to his gently. Her free hand slid up around his neck and she rested her forehead against his.

It was moments like now that she thought back to that made her wonder what she’d been thinking when she believed Rhett. How could she doubt this boy in front of her, so passionate and caring? Lani had done nothing so far that would ever make her not care about him. Fight or not, she still felt the same about him. The butterfly feeling in her stomach, the heat brought to her cheeks, the nerves; all of those things played a part in how she felt about him. If only she knew when she could say it. She wanted to now, but was afraid that it might have been too soon after a fight. If not now, when? When could she tell him that she was falling in love with him?

[Lani Hunter]

Like in everything else that happened to Lani he didn’t like to think they had problems. It was something that he couldn’t fix on his own. It was a strange new challenge. Lani was so used to having problems of his own or problems of other people and fixing them. Never had he and another person had a problem that required both of them to fix. And all because Lani was sensitive enough to get upset by someone assuming he might cheat. Didn’t Adrianna know him well enough now? Why had this happened? Why did things have to get complicated? Really they had always been especially with one party keeping secrets. Maybe… but now was not the time for that. So all he could do was hold her and try to figure out how he could make her believe him. Once the seed of doubt was planted it had a nasty tendency to keep coming about.

Poor Adrianna, he should not have said those things. He believed she was stronger than this and unfortunately she had proved him wrong. How was this the same woman who had slapped that guy in the club across the face but had listened and taken to heart something that someone she actually knew was a liar. Really Lani was of the mindset that she should have given Rhett the same treatment. But for some reason she hadn’t. At least from what she was telling him it didn’t sound like she had. This only solidified in Lani’s mind that he should have been there. He should have been there to fight off the man and all of her other demons. His anger nearly took over his mind and he was half struggling with keeping his power in check and wanted to let it all loose. It was a terrible single minded anger. She said his name and the soft curl of her voice to his ears soothed him. Reminded him where and who he was. He was not anger.

He turned back realizing he was about to show just how angry he could get in front of her. No he would never strike her but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hit something or someone else. This thought surprised him. He was never a violent person but Rhett was very close to making him one. Most people who knew Lani knew that he could never hurt anyone. But something in him had changed. It was more than just defending his sister now he was defending those closest to him as well. His boss was not prepared for this change that Lani had undergone. His skin chilled and warmed as her hand touched his cheek. He leaned a little into her hand wanting to feel her. He accepted her kiss and returned it the heat of anger slowly fading. “Thank you,” he said as he drew away. He shook his head, “But it’s not okay. We’re together now,” he hugged her tightly, “But what about the next time he part. What if he comes after you again?” He could keep coming back and flinging his delusions at Adrianna. What would she do? “I don’t know why he wanted to see us fight but I don’t want him to think he can come after you without consequences.”

He looked down at her and things seemed so complicated he just wanted to run and hide. Let things work out for themselves. But he couldn’t leave Adrianna and Odion to deal with Rhett on their own. He knew deep down that even had Rhett not gotten to Adrianna that he would have a few choice words for what he had put Odion through. Never before had he imagined that this could have happened. Life throwing him a curve ball and he wasn’t ready for it. He looked down at her and brushed the tears away from her cheeks. He held her in his safe embrace and kissed her on her cheeks where the tears were falling. “Adrianna,” he started and hesitated, “Adrianna…” No he couldn’t tell her, not now, not like this. “I… I’m sorry this happened.”

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna was determined. Determined to be angry with Rhett. Determined to never question Lani’s loyalty again. Determined to make Lani know that she would never doubt him again. And determined to get Rhett back for what he’d already done to her. He’d completely screwed her over twice within a year. First by shoving his tongue down her ex’s throat and then by butting into her relationship with Lani. The one time she’d actually thought that he could be a good person had vanished and she now believed that he was full of shit even then. Anger was starting to replace the aching in her chest and she was ready to walk right up to the ESP and slap the hell out of him. Wouldn’t be like he didn’t deserve it. Her anger was only fueling her determination to prove Rhett wrong and make him eat his words. Her boyfriend was not a cheater and he was nothing like her past mistake.

The lack of strength from earlier was now replaced with the strength that he had seen in her before. The reason Adrianna hadn’t slapped Rhett right then and there was because she was attempting to be civil and calm. She didn’t particularly like resorting to violence, but that guy in the club had put his hands on her without consent and he deserved it. Rhett may not have put his hands on her, but he’d done plenty to make her want to resort to violence. Besides, it was just this once. She was weak, but she was working on getting stronger. It took a while for her to really hate anyone, seventeen years without her biological father and seven years without her step father, that was what it had taken for her to hate them. This was less than that, but he’d still messed with her mind and almost made her drive away the boy that was slowly getting her to that strength. The anger that was beginning to build inside her was hidden momentarily by her worry for her boyfriend. She was focused more on making him calm down instead of feeding into it with her own.

Being around him helped extinguish her own frustration while they were together, but once he was gone, she’d be sure to start working out more in order to not only strengthen her body but also to release some of that anger. She was glad that he was relaxed by her touch and she too was thankful to be with him. Adrian smiled faintly, but it faded as he continued talking. She hugged him back, as the realization of just how much her doubt had hurt him. He was afraid she’d do it again. And she couldn’t even blame him. Tears were filling her eyes again, but not because of what Lani was saying. The tears weren’t sad or scared tears, the were frustrated and angry tears. “You think I’ll let him get to me again…don’t you?” She asked quietly as she leaned her forehead against his chest. Her voice held no anger towards him, just acceptance and understanding because that was what she felt. She would have been the same way had the roles been reversed.

Complicated was an understatement for their current situation. She wished that she could just get away from it all, but she had to deal with Rhett and she had to do it soon. Adrianna wasn’t sure what she’d do about what had happened, but she knew something had to be done. She couldn’t let Lani fight all of her battles for her and yet he seemed so willing. Strong women didn’t need their boyfriend to be the muscle behind their words, she wouldn’t mind having him there in case things didn’t work out the way she wanted though. Tears were still falling down her cheeks and she wasn’t sure when they’d stop, but his fingers brushed her cheeks again and she nuzzled into his chest more. The lightness of his lips sliding along her cheeks made her blush unintentionally and she looked up at him as he spoke her name. Shaking her head she wrapped both arms around his neck and pulled herself up to kiss him again, “Don’t be sorry, sweetie. It’s a speed bump, something that we’ll take care of together.” She stroke the back of his neck and rested her forehead against his, the fluttering of her heart only speeding up as she got closer to him.

[Lani Hunter]

So what that Rhett had ESP? So he knew everything, or almost everything about everyone. That didn’t mean he wasn’t a liar. After hearing that Rhett had trailed off on identifying that Talon hadn’t liked men Lani got scared. How much did Rhett know? About him. He didn’t know Lani, and Lani didn’t know Rhett. If this was a normal circumstance their information would be mutually inadequate but Rhett had the advantage in this world. That meant Lani had to try harder and work faster to catch the other blond off guard. He wasn’t even sure that that would help. The best thing he could count on was that if he didn’t know his own emotions perhaps Rhett couldn’t know them either. Though Rhett had been dead on about that one thing. But Lani didn’t want to pursue that, didn’t that make him different?

Had Adrianna told him that she was trying to be civil Lani probably would have shaken her demanding to know why he deserved civility. In Lani’s mind Rhett was far worse than some guy. Really given the situation Lani probably could have given the man a look and sent him away or Adrianna could have pushed him away. But Rhett, he didn’t seem to take hints well. Especially when those hints were ‘Mind your own business and get your nose out of my relationship’. And it was much more than that. He had Lani sweating about how much he knew. Did he know Lani was a thief? Did he know that he was working for some mob boss? Would he tell Adrianna? Had he already hinted at it? She didn’t mention it but maybe she didn’t think that was hardly as likely as cheating. After all she had been cheated on, she knew it happened. But someone telling her that Lani stole things for a living, well that was laughable.

Lani always loved how when he was around her she could calm his mind and help him forget his problems. But this was different, yes she calmed him but his mind would not be at ease. Lani’s heart dropped into his feet as she started to tear up again. Those were his, again. Twice in one night he had caused her tears. Who are you? A voice in his head asked accusingly. To tell the truth Lani wasn’t sure anymore. All of his life, all of his shields and defenses were shattered not only from Adrianna but from Odion. He had shaken up Lani’s life so hard that he was starting to get lost in the truths he hadn’t even known about himself. Who was Lani Hunter? He wished someone would tell him because the real Lani had gotten lost a long time ago and the more he started to show his face the more this Lani was worried that that was a mirror he was seeing when he caught a glimpse of Lani Hunter. Lani hung his head he didn’t want to admit it but he gave her a slow nod. He didn’t have the courage to say it out loud but he also didn’t have the will to tell her a lie.

A quagmire, perhaps? Soon summer would be here and they would both get a break from the stresses of school, but unfortunately for the two of them as well. It was going to be hard doing long distance for even a few months. Lani had to take every penny he stole and put it toward getting himself out of the hole he had dug for himself and he wasn’t willing to ask Adrianna to not only leave her mother but pay a fortune to buy a plane ticket to Boston. How badly he wanted her to meet his family though, maybe before he left when they came to get him she would meet them. She made him smile with those words. By God she made him smile when smiling seemed like the last thing he would do. His heart warmed and he pulled her closer taking a gentle what he hoped was comforting kiss. “Yes,” he said finally, “Together, Adrianna, if he ever comes at you again I want you to call me. I don’t care if it’s something I don’t want to hear I want you to tell me.” He said his eyes and mouth set with seriousness.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna fought hard against some of the information that Rhett had given her. When he trailed off about how Talen hadn’t been in to men, subconsciously she knew exactly what he was saying, but she didn’t want to think about it. It wasn’t her business to question Lani’s sexuality. He liked her, wasn’t that enough of an answer? Who cared if he was confused or if he liked both? She wasn’t one to judge and she wasn’t going to butt in and ask him about it. Sure, Rhett had ESP and he could have very well been telling the truth about everything, but at the same time he could be using everyone’s assumptions and making them believe his lies just because he supposedly knew everything. Rhett was sneaky enough to do that. How she hadn’t realized that before was simple. In the moment, she hadn’t been able to think rationally. Her emotions got to her before her brain started taking in the information and filtering through the bull shit.

Civility came from her because she’d been caught off guard. Rhett coming to look for her was something she’d never expected, but it had happened and when she was caught off guard, her politeness went up. It didn’t matter who had caught her off guard. For all she knew, it would have been the same had Talen or one of her fathers shown up. That being said, she hadn’t been as polite as usual because she didn’t particularly want to give Rhett any of her time, but she had and now she was regretting it. She’d tried to be rude to him in order to get him to go away, but that hint hadn’t gone through. It seemed to only feed into what he wanted to do. The way he spoke about how Odion was the one who would be likely to ‘take advantage’ of Lani’s friendship almost made it seem possible. But she didn’t want to believe that because the one time she’d met Odion, before the talk they’d had in the auditorium, he’d been nothing but nice to her. And after their talk in the auditorium, she knew she shouldn’t have sounded so accusatory towards Lani. But it had happened because she had begun to think and her thoughts always got in the way of her happiness.

Adri really hadn’t meant to cry so much in front of him. She’d already done it enough, but this was just too much. Now it wasn’t even sad tears, but it would seem that way because he would believe it was his fault. It wasn’t his fault though and she wasn’t sure how to make him see that. He said it himself, it was Rhett’s fault. All of it. Then again, she couldn’t fully believe that he was completely to blame. She had told Rhett that she trusted Lani and would never doubt him, and yet she still had. If it was anyone else’s fault, it was hers. The tears that had fallen were caused by her own stupidity. Lani hadn’t done anything wrong. When he gave her a nod, she pushed back the heart-breaking pain that shot through her. It was what she’d expected, but it still hurt that he had no faith in her. Taking a deep breath she nodded and her lip quivered once more, “I guess I deserve that.”

Summer was on its way and she wasn’t ready for it. School was coming to an end and she wouldn’t have to worry about upkeep of her grades, but it also meant that she was going to be staying with a friend in Pilot Ridge so that she could get a job. Her mother had made it painfully clear that she didn’t want her daughter out there for the whole summer. It wouldn’t be the same as before because her mother was staying in the hospital and wasn’t going to be going home anytime soon. Sure, she had Mags there to take care of her, but Amelia knew that it would only upset Adrian more and would make her want to stay in California. Amelia wouldn’t let that happen. Once he smiled, more of her tension slipped away and she was once more comforted by his lips against hers. “I will, I promise. And Lani…I know you probably won’t believe me until you see it, but I’m not going to let him get to me again. I won’t doubt you anymore, I want you to know that.”

[Lani Hunter]

It was so sad that such things could turn two people against each other. Lani had heard that people were the easiest species to turn against each other and he was inclined to believe it. That was why he had no friends among the thieves. Odion was an exception, a very terrifying and dangerous exception but one that Lani had decided to make. Even Odion could turn on him at any moment, but Lani wouldn’t turn on Odion. And he had a feeling that Odion wouldn’t either. Odion was a friend and Adrianna was his girlfriend, so why then did it seem that Odion knew Lani better than Adrianna. Maybe because knowing his secrets made Lani need to hide less, though there was still a lot he was hiding from both of them. He might call Rhett and joker and a liar but Lani himself was just as much of a liar.

She started to tear again and Lani pulled her close to himself. He wanted her to know that despite all of that he was here for her. He wanted to be here for her whether or not she wanted him to be. He wrapped himself around her wanting to cover her body with his and shield it from the world. It was too bad that Lani couldn’t be two places at once. He couldn’t be here, and help Odion like he had promised and kick the shit out of Rhett. Something had to give and for now that was going to beating Rhett. That could wait. And who knows maybe things would work themselves out without Lani having to beat Rhett. Lani had trusted Adrianna but now she had doubted him and he was crushed. He still trusted her but with the feeling that she didn’t trust him, he hurt. He shook his head and touched her face. “I’m sorry Adrianna, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said his voice sorrow filled, “I’m worried, but I trust you.”

Now it was Lani’s turn to wince. She knew now that he didn’t’ trust her fully. He wanted her to at least think he trusted her. His thieving ways were starting to leech out of his net. “I do believe you,” he protested holding her close, “I believe you’re strong enough not to let him get to you again.” By god…. He was conning his own girlfriend. His eyes spelled trust and affection but behind there was fear and uneasiness. He finally released her from his tight hold so that he could look at her. She was a mess. More of a mess than she had been when he had ambushed her while she was studying. Then she looked beautiful because she was happy and smiling. Now she looked, not terrible, but sad. He hated it. And to think that he was part of that cause. Even if she told him he wasn’t.

“God, I’m going to miss you over the summer,” he said his eyes going downcast. She was going to California, or so he thought, and he was going to Boston. He was going to be beyond busy with his plans. If he could get out of his crazy boss’s hands this summer he would have his hands filled with the aftermath. He would have to solidify his connections and let them know that he was still very much a thief and that they were not in danger of exposure. He would have to let his boss be guaranteed that he would not talk to anyone. He would need a few escapes and hopefully Odion would be able to come to Boston during the summer and save him from the god awful beach trip. He really hated the water and the farther he stayed away from that the better it would be, especially with everything that was happening. He needed to relax not be terrified out of his mind at the beach.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna knew Lani kept things from her. Whether they were big things or little, she didn’t care. The way she looked at it was that if he wanted her to know, he’d tell her. If it was important for her to know, he’d say something. The fact that he hadn’t just proved that she didn’t need to know. It didn’t mean he was trying to keep something from her to be a jerk. It just wasn’t relevant to know, yet. Who knew? Maybe he’d tell her everything once he was actually comfortable with her? It didn’t matter, but at the same time, she couldn’t help but wonder if he told Odion everything he kept from her. It was a terrible thought to have, but her mind hadn’t shut off since Rhett walked out.

The way Lani held her was so much more comforting than his voice had been. At the time, on the phone after what had happened, his voice had comforted her in so many ways, but it wasn’t like having his arms around her. The way he curled around her and hid her away from all of the pain and suffering around her, it just made her feel safe. One thing she would always feel around Lani, no matter what, was safe. She was convinced that he would protect her against anything, even herself which was what he seemed to be doing now. And she needed it. Protection from herself was the most important because she would tear herself apart easier than anyone else. Her heart leaped when he touched her face, as light as it was, it still sent a shiver through her spine. “I cry all the time, it’s not your fault,” She sniffled and leaned her forehead against his chest. “I just wish I hadn’t made you doubt my trust…”

Adrian didn’t blame him for not trusting her fully. She hadn’t expected him to by now anyway. If she could barely trust anyone else, how were they supposed to trust her? To gain trust she had to give trust first and she had for the most part, but not fully. Not that she wanted Lani to know she didn’t trust him as fully as she wished she did. Shaking her head she answered, “You don’t have to just say that, Lani. I know you’re worried about me doing it again.” As much as she saw the trust in his eyes, the care he held for her, she knew he didn’t mean it completely. She screwed up. How was he supposed to trust her as much now? It was horrible to think about, and each time she did it sent a shot of pain through her heart, but she deserved it. She caused this. When he pulled back, she didn’t want to look up at him. Adri hated that he was seeing her like this. It wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this should have happened. The tear stained cheeks, the smeared makeup, the flushed cheeks and water-filled eyes; all of which made her feel ugly. Inside and out.

Once he brought up the summer, another shot of pain went through her. She was going to miss him, too. How would she cope with not seeing him at least every couple of days? Of course they had phones and whatnot, but it wasn’t the same. He wouldn’t be physically there with her. He wouldn’t be able to hug her and kiss her and she really was going to start crying again if she kept thinking about it. Looking down to hide the fresh tears filling her eyes, she tried controlling the tone of her voice, “We’ll only be a few states away. It’s not like I’m going across the country now, so it won’t be as far.” Glancing up at him she frowned, “But I’m really going to miss you, too.” And so the tears fell again and she turned away to keep him from seeing her. Would it ever end?

[Lani Hunter]

Lani would soon wish he had never kept any secrets. From her or from Odion. He would soon want nothing less. But what Lani wanted wouldn’t matter then. What he wanted mattered now but Lani was too foolish to see. Right now he was only focused on the here and now. He was just content to hold her. It was hard to see her hurting so bad and not deliver the truth to her. That he was a liar and a thief, that he was confused but he knew she meant a lot to him. He deceived her, Lani was just unwilling to admit his shortcomings and let her in to see the real him. She had said a few weeks ago that he was sweet and kind. Would she still feel the same if he told her? She thought so highly of him, and he knew that, so what would it be like if she really thought so low of him. For he didn’t deserve to be thought of highly.

Lani almost wished he could swallow her in his arms and keep the harsh world realities from her. No Lani would never cheat on her, but he had promised never to leave. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be free as well. He wanted to tell her that he would always be here for her. But for some reason that lie was worse than all of the others. He had failed to keep his promises before and he couldn’t abandon her. But if she found out about his lies who was to say she wouldn’t abandon him? Lani was afraid, he would never admit it, but he was. He smoothed her hair making a soothing noise in his throat. “No, this time it is,” he said tipping her face up gently so he could look into her eyes. His eyes were warm and open, vulnerable even. “Adrianna, I… I trust you.” Lie. The voice in his head scalded him with that reality. He trusted her, yes, but only with the part of him that were visible to everyone.

He hummed a soft tune, a lullaby he used to hum his sister. No Lani had no voice for singing but somehow just humming tunes worked out without disaster. Lani moved back a little so that he could look at her as she spoke to him. This wasn’t right. She was blaming herself. Lani could see it in her eyes. He lowered his gaze at her true statement. “I’m worried,” he agreed, “But I, I’ll be here whether or not you doubt me. Know that when I tell you, I’ll never do anything to hurt you I mean it.” He looked deeply into her eyes and tried to give her a bit of his strength. “This isn’t your fault,” he felt the need to say, “This is Rhett’s. And I swear to you I’ll make him pay for every tear.” His determinism grew cold in his voice. Lani had never been a violent person but he had never had someone attack him so underhandedly, so heartlessly. He put his hands on her cheeks and looked down at her tear streaked cheeks. He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and he needed some way to tell her, show her how much he meant what he said. So he did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her deeply translating the feelings he didn’t have words for to her. His eyes slid shut as he lost himself in her lips.

Lani’s eyes were not their normal humor filled gray. They were serious and clouded with thought. He brightened and blinked confused. “You’re not going back to California?” He asked surprised. He had to admit he was selfishly happy but he knew she would like to have spent time with her mother. Maybe then when he came back to Hammel periodically thought the summer he could see her then. If she was staying here. Lani watched her turn away and his hands stayed outstretched for her. He walked behind her and put his hands on her shoulders giving them a comforting squeeze. He wrapped his arms around her and realized he just wanted to touch Adrianna and feel her skin against his skin. “A few states is not very far,” he mused, “Perhaps we can visit each other more often then.” His heart was taking light now that he knew this. Maybe these emotion he was confusing would be solved, maybe not. He could shut them out when he was with Adrianna but the more he was with Odion the stronger and harder to keep out these strange feelings became.

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna wasn’t a secret keeper, only because she was a sucky liar and always had to talk to someone about her problems. It was part of who she was. For those who did keep secrets, such as her mother, she didn’t judge them. Not because they kept secrets and not for what the secret was about. There was no point in judging people. Judging was what the cruel people who tore others down did for fun. Adri wasn’t like that and she never would be. Lani may have been a liar and a thief, but he was lying to keep her from getting hurt. If she knew that, she wouldn’t be angry with him. Just because he was a thief didn’t make her care any less about him either. He’d always been a thief, and maybe always would be into kleptomania, it was who he was. If she really did love him like she believed, then she wouldn’t stop loving him once she found out.

Looking up into his eyes, Adri found herself just looking at him. She’d always liked looking at him. Just admiring his features, the planes of his face, the angles. Maybe it was the artist in her, but she just wanted to memorize every aspect of him. The vulnerability in his eyes softened his face and gave the features she’d come to know so well a different way of being viewed. The way there was very little humor in his eyes like there usually was; the way his mouth was set in frown. The child in her wanted to poke the side of his mouth and push it up to make him smile, but she didn’t. Now was not the time for her childishness. Again he said he trusted her. And again, she couldn’t fully believe it. Something was telling her it wasn’t completely true. Maybe it was the residual ESP? He trusted her with his mask, he didn’t trust her with his heart.

Even that bit of information couldn’t make her angry with him. She understood. How could he trust her with his heart if he’d never given it to anybody else? The humming was soothing and she found herself thinking back to when her mother would hum a lullaby to her as a baby. Adrian felt weak like she had then. A baby, defenseless and incapable of standing on its own. His words rang true and she believed that he would not hurt her. She’d always believed that though. But as he went on, she couldn’t agree with him. It wasn’t all Rhett’s fault. He may have started it, but she fed into it. She helped him get what he wanted. His voice grew colder and she watched him. Slowly the anger faded to the back and the Lani she’d grown used to came back to her. As he leaned down, she stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck to prolong the kiss that she’d really needed. It was filled with so much emotion that she had to disengage herself in order to catch her breath. Now, now she could say it. “Lani…I-I love you.”

There it was. Out in the open, awaiting his response. Would he bolt? Would he return the feelings? All she could do was wait and see what would happen. Could it really be possible that he would say it back? She didn’t get her hopes up. It was too soon.

Adrianna shook her head, “My mother is spending the majority of her time in the hospital now and she didn’t want me ‘ruining’ my summer by sitting there helpless.” The initial sadness from the news had passed and now she had accepted it. Her mother was getting worse every month that passed. It was only a matter of time before those months ran out. On the bright side, she knew that if Lani wasn’t busy she could go to Boston for a weekend just to spend with him. When she turned she hadn’t been expecting the tears and really just wanted to hide them. Feeling him get closer was nice, knowing that he was there. She leaned back into him and looked up, “I hope so.”

[Lani Hunter]

Lani smiled encouragingly. Adrianna had opened up to him early on and Lani had been selfish, but in his mind wise, not to do the same. Besides these were not secrets that just could happen to be embarrassing or hurtful, they could get him in serious trouble. Really the only reason Odion knew and she didn’t was because Odion had caught him in the act and there had been nothing he could have said to talk his way out of it. With Adrianna, well she just didn’t do stuff like run around on rooftops. If Lani’s plan to get out of his situation worked he would be not only beyond grateful but he might become a devout worshiper of something. He wasn’t sure what, maybe everything, but that was beyond his expectation.

A gentle hand reached up and touched her face. He didn’t know what the emotions were that were shooting through him threatening to get his power to explode on someone. Preferably not on Adrianna. There was confusion and within this confusion there was love and hate and desire and responsibility. Lani wasn’t sure what made him happy anymore because he based his happiness on the happiness and harmony that surrounded him. Then there was the fury brought about by pulling on the anger from Odion and his own for the same person. Then there was the hurt brought by the one that he thought he was closest with. Not a betrayal, but a realization of what his lies had cost him. No it wasn’t Lani’s trusting Adrianna that was the failed entity here, it was Adrianna’s trust of him.

Lani’s eyes were slow to open when she said his name. Now his world seemed to have dripped out from under him. The words both thrilled and terrified him. She loved him! His mind hummed and he wanted to dance, even though that would have appeared to have been a pained action. But the other part of him panicked. Run! It told him, run away or you’ll be stuck! “I…” His voice caught in his throat and he blinked several times as if the world had suddenly gone hazy. “Um… Thank you,” Lani paused unable to get the words out. “Me too,” he finally settled on. He could have smacked himself in the head. ‘Me too?’ way to go Lani. Would she catch onto the fear in his voice, the uncertainty and doubt. His heart sang and he held her closer and he would never admit that that was mostly to make it so he didn’t have to look her in the eye. Not a lie, no, just to frightening. Did Lani love her? Yes, he did. But that in and of itself terrified him because he loved his sister. But the emotion wasn’t the same. He knew without thinking that the emotion was different. He would have dropped Adrianna if it had been a decision between her and Caroline. But then if it was between her and Odion or her and Lani himself he would always chose Caroline.

His eyes widened and his brow creased over his nose. “Oh no, is everything alright?” He asked knowing full well that the chances of it being alright were not very good considering the tone. Things had gotten worse. Lani didn’t even hesitate he took her in his arms and he rocked her. “Adrianna, I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.” He said this with honesty, but stealing and getting money only went so far if there was nothing that could be done. He couldn’t let her go. Not now. No he clutched to his girlfriend as if he were trying to hold her together and keep her from falling to pieces. “You’ll have to come visit,” Lani reemphasized, “I know my family is dying to meet you.”

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna had a knack for spilling too much too fast. She had opened up rather quickly to Lani, but surprisingly enough, it wasn’t as quickly as she had to her last boyfriend. It was a start at least, she was trying to make this different. That was one reason she’d never pressure Lani into talking about himself. It was his choice whether he wanted to trust her or not. She may have trusted him with her past, but she’d just realized that she didn’t trust him as much as she had thought. And it wasn’t even his fault. She was letting her past control her future and she hadn’t even noticed that she had been doing it.

His hand touched her face and the guilt she felt was beginning to get overwhelming. How could she have let this happen? Here he was, trying to understand what he’d done to make her accuse him of hurting her and he hadn’t done anything. She’d let her past invade her thoughts and once again it came back to haunt her. She’d been too trusting then, but now she was taking it out on Lani by not trusting him enough. Lani was not Talen, she’d repeated it over and over again…and yet, she still treated him as though he was. The crushing guilt in the pit of her stomach made her sick and from the inside out she was beginning to tear herself apart. And once he left, it would only get worse. She clung to him a bit before she got the words out.

It was too soon. Adrianna knew it was too soon and she wished she could take the words back. Waiting for the rejection she kept her eyes cast down. It was only a matter of time before he turned away and walked out of her life. She’d never said she loved anyone before. Not like this. His hesitation had her wanting to vanish. Why couldn’t she have invisibility? Okay, so he hadn’t run, but ‘thank you’? She’d seen enough movies where the guy said thank you and it meant that he didn’t return the feelings, at least at that point he didn’t. Lani was afraid, she heard it in his voice. Of course she was too. It wasn’t as if she’d planned on falling in love with the boy she’d met by chance because she’d wanted to go running. No, she didn’t regret her feelings because if she was going to fall in love with someone, she believed that Lani was the perfect guy for that. Lie or no lie, she’d still believe that. He had her heart and she trusted him with it. As much as it hurt that he didn’t love her too, she was just glad he hadn’t run. She buried her face in his chest and tried to tell herself that it didn’t matter that he hadn’t said it back.

Shaking her head she laughed humorlessly, “Not exactly…her health is just deteriorating.” It was happening rather slowly according to the doctors, but soon her time would run out and there was nothing they could do about it. Amelia wouldn’t see her daughter get married, she wouldn’t see her grandchildren, she’d die before she ever got the chance to experience what every parent wanted to be present for. The sooner she got used to that, the faster Adrianna could get through the loss. She clung to him desperately, but the tears that would have fallen were all dried up. She’d finally run out. Adri nodded. Visiting was definitely going to happen, she too was dying to meet them. Especially Caroline.

[Lani Hunter]

Lani wished she didn’t feel guilt. It wasn’t her guilt to feel. She was self-punishing, he observed. No one needed to tell her to try harder or that she had done wrong. She had known it from the beginning by his tone. He didn’t need to make her feel worse. She was doing enough of that herself. So he held her tighter as she clung to him. How had this happened? If he had been here this never would have happened. But how could he have known? But he was responsible. Self blame started to rise in himself. He should have known… He shook his head at himself as much as at Adrianna. “Adrianna,” he said gently. “This isn’t your fault. Rhett did this. You didn’t put the words in his mouth.”

Then came the three words. Lani was terrified by them. No other words could have terrified him more. Save someone saying ‘Your sister is dead’. If someone said that he probably would have lost his mind entirely. But this was a close second and it was will power that kept him from bolting from the room. That and the fact that he wasn’t sure he didn’t feel the same way. He felt strongly for her. Something close to love… maybe it was love? But if he admitted it… He chewed on his lips after he answered. He could have kicked himself for that. The look in her eyes was that of disappointment and he could see the hurt she was trying to hold in. But he hadn’t rejected it that was something. Wasn’t it? Lani sighed and smoothed her hair and kissed the top of her head inhaling the scent of her shampoo. “I’m sorry,” he whispered closing his eyes. He wanted to say it back but he… he wasn’t sure. That was the rub. He wasn’t sure. He had too much to figure out. “Give me a little time,” he said softly and reached down to tip her face up to look him in the eye.

He kissed her forehead and then her lips. “I’m no good with words,” he told her. The touch of her lips on his made his heard race and his skin heat as he touched her. “But this,” he said waving his hands between the two of them, “This is real. You and me. I can’t…” He shook his head stopping himself before he screwed up. “I’ve never loved anyone like this before. Please, just give me a little time.” He said his eyes looking at her his eyes strong but hiding in the shadows of the silver flecks was fear and worry. Knowing he held her heart like this made him feel like he was holding a box made of glass and if he slipped he would drop it and having shattered their time together would escape.

Lani looked at her concerned. “Oh no!” Lani said genuinely hurt. He had rather liked Ms. Amelia. And the fact that he got to meet her at all made him happy. He didn’t want such a wonderful person to be gone from this world. “I’m so sorry, Adrianna.” He pulled her into a tight hug and found he couldn’t let her go. How was Adrianna being so strong? Lani would be in pieces. He tried to swallow her pain and her fear with his arms but it wasn’t going to help. “Is there nothing that can be done?” He asked softly, hesitant not really sure he wanted to answer.