AU: Punky's Dilemma (Josh)

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“Have you tried taking out a personal ad?”

It had been a legitimate suggestion. Plenty of people met other people through personal ads. More than that, but between his friends and his job, his social circle had become a bit insulated. He knew plenty of people, but many of them were in relationships; the ones who weren’t also wasn’t his type or vice versa, if not both. Some were too young or too old; others had different priorities in life, and some – while not metaphobic in everyday life – couldn’t cope with the idea of telepathy as more than a novelty. While he remained friends with his ex-partners, he didn’t think that it was their responsibility to help him find a new romantic prospect. Moreover, he didn’t think that it was wise to date within the social circles of his exes; despite remaining on good terms, it still possessed problematic potential.

So, on advice, he had joined a service and placed the ad. He hadn’t told any of his friends, because he didn’t want to get into a debate about the merits of inorganic dating.

Single white professional man, early 40s, seeks man or woman for friendship, dating, and possible LTR. I enjoy political and philosophical discussions, reading new books, volunteerism and community service, trips to museums, good meals, good liquor, a good party, classic movies, watercraft, picnics in good weather, and long walks through the park regardless of season. I am open-minded, gentle, and dedicated to helping others and to the pursuit of knowledge; my coworkers describe me as a large teddy bear. If interested, please contact XXX...

It had taken a little while, but the agency alerted him that someone had expressed interest. The service played matchmaker and acted as an intermediary between Sean and the other person without them actually speaking to one another, although he was informed that the other person was a man within a couple of years of his own age. It was done to provide a safe atmosphere, and the telepath didn’t resent that. Instead, he expressed his preferences and eventually a date was made.

When Saturday night arrived, Sean had dressed in one of his favorite suits – a blue one that matched his eyes – and he had gone to the restaurant early to wait for his mystery date. On the way there, he stopped off to buy a rose as a small token.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, he checked in with the hostess and left the name under which he had placed the personal ad – as the service had encouraged him. He had then been led to a private booth to wait for the date to begin, and the telepath took the opportunity to order a glass of wine in anticipation.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh arrived at the restaurant punctually, clad in a grey suit and maroon tie and full of nerves.

It had taken a great deal of effort to even look at any personal ads, let alone answer one. He hadn't particularly wanted to admit that he was lonely, but one of his coworkers had gushed about the results of the personal ad she had answered, and he had decided it wouldn't hurt to look. He hadn't expected to see any that interested him, but only three ads in he had seen one that had drawn his attention.

He kept going back to it over the next week, vacillating over whether or not he ought to answer. Eventually he had decided that one date did not a commitment make and he had expressed his interest.

Which had led him to a nicer restaurant than he ever entered for any reason other than meetings with clients, twisting his fingers together as he talked to the hostess. Yes, he was meeting someone. And that someone, according to the hostess, was already there.

The attorney inhaled deeply as he followed her to the booth his date was waiting in, trying to still the racing thoughts that threatened to sabotage his sanity. Had this person been honest in their ad? Would they get along? What if he was a disappointment? Would that be a problem? Did he want this to turn into more dates? Well, he didn't want to be alone anymore, but would dating really solve that problem?

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost didn't realize that the hostess had stopped, just catching himself before running into her.

"Sorry," He gave her an apologetic smile and then thanked her, turning to the booth to peruse his mystery date as she clip clopped away.

Only to see.....

Sean Neville.

His best friend and former lover.

This was not what he had expected, and his first thought was that there must have been a mistake.

"Sean! Are you here, too? I think the hostess must've been confused, I'm meeting someone here..."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

The wine had arrived a moment before the hostess had approached with someone in tow. Sean had just taken a sip from his glass when the hostess and his mystery date reached the table, and the telepath set down his glass and prepared to stand. For all of his counter-cultural involvement during college – and the beliefs he maintained – he also had a number of ingrained manners. One of which involved standing when meeting someone, particularly in a romantic setting.

Then the hostess turned on her heels, leaving the telepath face-to-face with Josh Bernstein, his dearest friend.

That was certainly unexpected, as was his friend’s explanation for why he was here. As far as he knew, Josh didn’t go to restaurants like this unless affiliated with work meetings, which weren’t on the agenda. Moreover, he knew that his friend hadn’t been in a relationship since the one with Saul. That one had ended poorly for all involved.

Sean still felt guilty for his role in that relationship’s demise.

He offered the younger man a smile of greeting. “It’s nice to see you too,” he offered, before resuming his seat at the booth. “And I am. I have a date tonight.”

Although he also had a sneaking suspicion he didn’t yet want to voice. For Josh’s dignity if for no other reason.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh scratched the back of his neck, wondering if he ought to go get the hostess and ask her to re-check which table he was supposed to be at. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy spending time with Sean, because he most certainly did, but it also wouldn't be very polite to ditch his mystery date for Sean.

Particularly when the telepath offered the same explanation for his own presence there.

"That makes two of us."

He didn't particularly enjoy telling Sean when he was seeing anyone, but this restaurant was so out of his element that he was sure his friend could guess anyway.


"But it's a bit difficult, I don't know who I'm supposed to be meeting so I really need the hostess to help me out..."

He sighed, but then his smile brightened. "But never mind, I get to see you, and that's always worth a mix up. You look nice, blue's always suited you."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean had no such aversion to hearing that Josh was on a date. He wanted his friend to find happiness and to combat his loneliness. If he had a romantic partner who wasn’t Sean, then that meant that he was meeting his needs, and that was all that the psychiatrist wanted for the younger man.

“Thank you,” the telepath replied to the compliment, his smile widening as well. “That was why I chose the suit. I’m just lucky that it wasn’t at the dry cleaner’s.”

Not that there was a reason that it would have been. He rarely wore this suit to work, preferring it for personal events, and there hadn’t been a party that required formal wear in a while.

Then came an awkward pause as the telepath dropped his mental shields enough to briefly probe his friend’s mind. The check was nothing invasive, but he wanted to confirm his suspicion before he spoke, in case he was wrong. Unfortunately, as tended to be the case with his hunches, he wasn’t wrong.

He had to wonder how it was that they could be compatible on paper when their initial relationship had ended as it had. Rather, he understood how they were compatible on paper. But, given the very real difficulties with their former romantic relationship, this underscored the inherent flaws with this type of dating system.

As such, he tried subtlety first, not wanting to call attention to this irony of ironies. “I ordered a bottle of wine if you’d like a glass?” Sean gestured at the open bottle and the second glass on the table.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh shook his head in denial. "I would love to, but I probably shouldn't start drinking before I've found this date. If he's even here."

A new thought had occurred to him, one that was decidedly uncomfortable and that he hadn't considered before answering the ad.

"I hope I haven't got stood up," He laughed nervously, scouring the surrounding tables for anyone who looked as if they might be waiting for a date. "That would be awkward. And a bit of a blow, you know, can't even keep a date with someone who hasn't met me."

On the other hand, that would give him an excuse to never answer another personal ad again; excuses seemed to be more prominent in his dating life than dates.

"Ahhh...what about you? When is your date supposed to get here? They won't mind if I'm here chatting with you when they show up I hope..."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean took a sip from his own wine glass at his friend’s polite refusal. “Should you change your mind, it’s here,” he said. As fond as he was of wine, he couldn’t get through an entire bottle by himself, particularly not in a public establishment like this restaurant.

“I’m sure that you haven’t been stood up,” the telepath then assured the other man. That was a thought that never would have occurred to Sean as within the realm of possibilities. Romantic prospects were supposed to give warnings when they couldn’t arrive, and nobody was so cruel within his circle of friends as to deliberately make a date that they had no intention of attending. Particularly the person who had made the initial request, as placing a personal ad was.

Moreover, given that Sean was convinced that Josh had responded to his personal ad, he could state with authority that the younger man hadn’t been stood up. Weaning him into the reality of their situation might take another minute or two.

He shook his head, denying the other assumption. “I’m sure that they won’t mind at all.” The telepath remained with the subtle hints, not wanting to cause Josh to run and hide in embarrassment. “From what I’ve gathered, he’s a very social fellow.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh hoped that Sean was right. Being stood up would be an embarrassment, far more than having to stoop to answering personal ads in order to find a date was. And since he had admitted to his friend why he was there, that meant that he would also have to admit what had happened.

However, the next comment gave him pause. "From what you've gathered?" He repeated. "So you don't know much about your date, either? That's so funny, we're both meeting new...people...."

He trailed off as the reality of the situation filtered into his brain.

Oh.

"Ahhh....you....didn't....by chance...put up a personal ad recently, did you?"

[Dr. Sean Neville]

One of the more fascinating aspects of telepathy was how Sean could almost literally see the light bulb come on in someone’s mind when realization dawned upon them. While that was a pleasant experience with patients experiencing a breakthrough or with students acquiring a new skill set or bit of knowledge, it was rather uncomfortable in this situation.

When the question came, the telepath offered his friend a self-deprecating smile. “My coworkers describe me as a large teddy bear,” he quoted. That was an admission that the person ad had, indeed, belonged to him.

He lifted his wine glass to his lips for another sip and then gestured at the seat across from him. “I realize that this isn’t what either of us was expecting.” That was an understatement.

“You don’t have to stay, of course; I’ll understand if you’d rather leave. But we already have the reservation, and we’re both here and dressed up. We might as well make an evening of it.”

If Josh didn’t feel comfortable staying with him, Sean would spend the meal alone. He had eaten alone in restaurants before, although not ones as high-end as this one. He could always make small talk with the server, if he or she wasn’t too busy with other customers.

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh wasn't sure if this was the universe laughing at his expense or doing him a favor. Wasn't that what he really desired, when he was honest with himself? To have another chance with Sean, not to date some other person?

But he had ended things, and surely Sean didn't feel the same way. How could he, when Josh had made such a foolish decision all those years ago?

And this was only a further reminder that he couldn't seem to be drawn to anyone other than Sean. Even when every indicating factor was hidden.

He coughed once, clearing his throat as he mentally worked through the available choices. After a moment of standing awkwardly he suggested, "Since we weren't supposed to know our dates perhaps we could...pretend.....that we don't know each other."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Sean tried not to listen in on Josh’s thoughts while the younger man weighed his options of fleeing in mortification. He had resolved a decade and a half ago to give the attorney his space, for better or for worse. Instead, he tried to wait for Josh to make his decision in the same way that a non-psychic would.

“Kinky,” the telepath replied, deadpan. He then smiled at his friend and continued, “That would be fine.”

After all, it wasn’t as though either he or Josh was a stranger to role play. When they had dated, it had been a frequent, if not regular, activity between the two of them. Several of Sean’s subsequent partners had also enjoyed different varieties of pretend. And, while he did not know all of the specifics of Josh’s relationships with either Simon or Saul, the telepath knew Josh’s interests, and surely it had come up more than once.

They could manage to be strangers for one evening.

To that end, he rose to his feet as he had been prepared to do when he thought that his date had been a stranger. Sean picked up the rose and held it out to the younger man. “I bought this for you,” he said, before holding out his other hand – the one not holding the rose - for a handshake. “I’m Sean Neville; it’s nice to meet you.”

[Joshua Bernstein]

Josh accepted the rose, a surge of guilt racing through his body that he hadn't considered bringing flowers or chocolate or anything remotely like that. Was that expected on personal ad dates? At least this was Sean, and not actually a stranger; had someone he didn't know given him flowers on the first date he was sure he would have fled the moment an opportunity presented itself.

But that would have ruined this whole evening, and he was determined that this was not going to be awkward. Even if he had to squash just about every emotion trying to manifest.

"I'm Joshua Bernstein." He shook the telepath's hand before adding, "I'm afraid that I didn't bring any flowers. I haven't been on a date in so long I seem to have forgotten dating etiquette."

Saul hadn't been that long ago, in the scheme of things, but it felt like ages since they had split up. He thought that was for the best, though; anyone who couldn't accept that Sean was a priority over relationships wasn't someone he could be romantically involved with.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

Since they were pretending to be complete strangers, this included not knowing any of the younger man’s preferences; at least, it included not acknowledging them. As such, the telepath inquired, “Do you prefer Joshua, or do you go by Josh?” Some people were more formal than others.

Likewise, there was no obligation to bring presents on a first date. Sean had never placed a personal ad before, and as such, he wasn’t intimately familiar with each and every custom. However, he couldn’t imagine that it was a more elaborate than the broader cultural expectations. Particularly with how informal the dating scene had become.

More than that, he didn’t expect a present from someone who answered his ad. The telepath viewed placing the ad as having more of an obligation than answering it, since it was the equivalent of asking as opposed to accepting a date. Besides, for some people, it was nice to receive a random token when meeting someone new. “That’s fine,” he said, waving off the apology. “I wasn’t expecting anything.”

After the handshake, he resumed his seat and held up the bottle of wine. “I took the liberty of ordering a bottle of wine. May I pour you a glass?”

[Joshua Bernstein]

"Josh is fine," The attorney answered, dropping his hand and turning his attention to the rose. He wondered what he should do with it; perhaps he could place it in his buttonhole.

To that end he began attempting to do so, because he really didn't want to be holding a flower all night and he had no other ideas as to how to deal with it. It was a romantic gesture, but he didn't want a rose in his food.

When Sean sat, Josh did as well, still fumbling with the rose. "Oh, please. This probably isn't the proper thing to say on a first date, but I do love a good bottle of wine. What did you order?"

He peered at the label, sincerely interested in the answer to that. Not that he would refuse to drink it; he knew the other man had excellent taste in wines.

"So what is it that you do for a living? Your ad said you were a professional, but I couldn't glean anything else from it. I'm an attorney," He added, "I haven't seen you around the courthouse, but that doesn't mean anything."

[Dr. Sean Neville]

“Josh it is,” Sean acknowledged with a single inclination of his head. That was easy to remember, and it also meant that he might not accidentally slip when trying to pretend to be formal for the evening.

He lifted both the bottle and Josh’s glass, before pouring to a reasonable degree. Once it was filled, he set the glass – now containing the white liquid – in front of the other man. “It’s a Vermentino,” the telepath explained, as he handed the bottle over to Josh to examine. A crisp white wine that went well when paired with seafood. Light and refreshing, they could always move on to hard liquor or to a bottle of red should one or both of them choose to order red meat for supper. “I hope you like it.”

He then leaned back and took another sip from his own glass.

“I’m a psychiatrist,” he replied. “I thought it a little presumptuous to say ‘doctor,’ and so I went for the middle ground.” That wasn’t a matter of pretend; he didn’t like the connotation that came from people who waved their medical degrees as status symbols.

“And what type of law do you practice?” He inquired, turning the conversation’s focus back to the other man.