Find the One you Really Love (Valerie)

[Valerie Danner]

"Aww crap. You always find me out! Are you absolutely sure water bending is your only power? I swear you're Professor X sometimes!" Valerie teased, her hand going to the smirk and rubbing it lightly.

But the light-heartedness she had maintained through the moment didn't last that long. It was time to get down to the nitty gritty. She knew there was a reason why she didn't want to think about things tonight.

As Noah spoke, she sipped more from her flask, licking her lips as his words trailed to an end.

"So," she started to squeak. Clearing her throat, she started up again. "So when will you be leaving?"

[Noah Washington]

Noah sat amidst the silence, turning his attention towards the stars for the sake of something to look at. It was barely visible, but as he searched he found a definitive star of Cancer; intertwined with the bright red glow of Mars in its system. Motivation. Enthusiasm. Energy. They were things he was theoretically supposed to be feeling a surge in.

But this? He felt weighted. Constricted. Lost.

"She's not herself, y'know." Noah started, almost as if she hadn't just asked him an incredibly important question. He didn't talk about his mom much for a good reason. "When my dad died, she was heartbroken. She got sick, and eventually she got better, but... It was like he took a piece of her and she couldn't get it back. No one fills a void like that."

He cleared his throat, his eyes fixated on the bright light of Mars as a focal point. "When I had to move to come here, she wanted to move as well. It was the only way not to split the family up, but... She couldn't leave the house we grew up in. There was too much of him there." Noah paused, taking the time to catch his breath. To keep his mind as clear as possible. "So when I told her I was graduating, she was happy. Genuinely happy. For the first time in... I don't know how long." The corner of his mouth twitched, but he wasn't sure if he should smile or frown at the thought.

"I feel like I have to go." Noah started again, narrowing it all down to the point; "But I don't think I want to."

[Valerie Danner]

She wasn't going to lie to herself. When Noah spoke about his mom, she was selfish enough to agree that no, no one can fill a void of a lost person. Dead or alive. Yes, she realised it was a selfish thought, seeing that losing someone entirely was much worse than a potential breakup. But she wasn't ready to let Noah go.

Despite that thought though, she knew if she was in his shoes, she would need to find somebody who understood that it was something she needed to do.

Internally, she was debating the fact that Noah actively said he didn't want to. That was cause enough for her to celebrate. But his mother...it had been forever since she was happy and that was a big deal. She couldn't be so selfish, thinking of her own needs when Noah had an obligation to his mother.

Of course she wanted him to stay. Of course she wanted him to be selfish and choose her. But not at his mother's expense.

Her breathing became a little shallow as she tried to speak again. "No..." she breathed before pulling one of his hands in hers, gently tugging it close to her lips. "I can't..." she couldn't even finish her sentence without thinking of the consequence of what she would say. If she was selfish, it meant he was going to disappoint his mother. If she let go, she wouldn't have Noah.

"Shit." She breathed, forcing a laugh out of her lips. She honestly didn't know how to handle this situation and it was weighing heavily on her.

"I don't...I don't want you to either." She pressed his fingers against her lips and sighed heavily. "But it would be terribly unfair of me for depriving your mother from you. Because, I know how that feels. I wouldn't...I wouldn't wish that feeling on anybody. Especially not your mom." Her breath hitched in her throat and she closed her eyes.

"But I really don't want you to go." She whispered, leaning back and burying her face in his neck.

[Noah Washington]

Noah had to feel bad for what he'd just dropped on her shoulders. He rarely - if ever - spoke about his parents. It was always about his brother, or his grandmother. When he did mention his mother, he never gave such an insight. He didn't like to let on that there might be anything wrong with her. In a sense, Noah preferred not to be worried about. But he had friends like Alyssa, who couldn't help it.

And he had Valerie.

He squeezed her hand as an offer of some kind of reassurance. It was all he could offer in the moment, really. He wasn't sure what to say that would help, given he'd said so much to mess it all up.

"Don't think about it like that." Noah replied quietly. It wasn't a matter of depriving him from his family for the sake of her own benefit. He was trying his hardest to see things from his own perspective; to live for himself as opposed to everyone else. How much did he owe everyone around him?

The Hydrokinetic wasted no time in circling an arm around her when she leaned inward. He held her close, running his hand gently along the line of her back. "I don't want to go. I..." He paused, closing his eyes and resting his chin against her shoulder. Maybe he was just swept up in everything that was going on. Was that bad? He felt he should question himself before he spoke, but; "Can I stay with you?"

[Valerie Danner]

Her lips quirked a little into a smile when she felt him squeeze her hand. It did offer a sense of security. Like it was his way of saying he doesn't intend to go anywhere. Or maybe that was just her own hope. Either way, she felt like she could breathe in relief in that one moment.

Noah's statement made her smile soften as her eyes were downcast to the ground at their joined hands. With her insecurities, it's pretty hard not to see it that way. She still found it hard to believe that Noah still stayed with her. In the back of her mind, she was still pretty sure he was only with her because she looked good in a tank top. Of course, she also thought he wasn't shallow enough to believe that, which then led her to think that he was too much of a nice guy to break up with her earlier.

She sure gave him a lot of opportunities to.

Shivering at his touch, Valerie's eyes fluttered shut as she blew out a soft jagged breath through slightly pursed lips. Valerie wasn't expecting anything else after the statement he made about not wanting to go. But then he rested his chin on her shoulder and said the words she had been contemplating ever since he brought up his graduation earlier that week.

Her eyes flew open and she froze a little. Out of panic or something else she didn't know, but her heart beat against her ribcage hard and fast and she didn't know what to say.

She knew she had to give him an answer at some point, lest he thought she didn't want him to stay. Doesn't this need a lot of time to be thought over?

A part of her wanted...needed to say yes because she knew her feelings for Noah could only grow from here. But...Noah could get bored of her. He could see her at her worst moment and decide that she wasn't worth it. She didn't want to find out how she would react to that.

Even as these thoughts rushed through her mind, Valerie wanted to say one thing and one thing only.

She let go of Noah's hand and turned to face him with a shaky smile. "I'd answer with something really witty and sexy but all I wanna do is say yes." She said in one breath before sitting up on her knees and leaning down to wrap her arms around his neck.

"I swear I thought you were going to break up with me tonight." She mumbled with a small chuckle.

[Noah Washington]

Somehow the silence was deafening. Noah instantly regretted asking her that; he had other friends he could stay with. But he'd practically been staying there for most nights anyway, so he didn't see how it was such a bad idea.

He grinned back at her, finding humour in her statement and admission. He exhaled on a laugh when she hugged him again, pulling her inward with clear cut relief on his face. Thank god that'd gone over well, because if it hadn't things could have gotten really awkward.

"I wouldn't do that." He admitted quietly, shrugging his shoulders. "But I'm sorry for making you worry. It's hard to get out of my head sometimes."

[Valerie Danner]

"You never know." Valerie chuckled, even though her heart was squeezing in itself at the thought. And to think when she first arrived in Pilot Ridge, she didn't even think about commitment other than the one she made with Spencer regarding the rent. This, this was new territory to her and it was scary.

She was just very scared of losing Noah. And that scared her.

"No, it's not your fault. I get it." She waved a dismissive hand at Noah's statement. Letting go of him, Valerie pushed away so she could sit with her legs bent under her chin. "No," she dropped her chin on her knee and looked at Noah with a small smile. "Your mom does need you though. You know that." She murmured. "I'm glad that you're thinking about yourself first. And I'm glad that you want to stay here." Reaching out a hand to Noah, she gripped his tight and rubbed her thumb against his the back of his hand. "But maybe you should try and factor your mom in on all of this. Is it at all possible if she came over here? Live in Burlington perhaps." She suggested softly. She still felt bad about his mother.

[Noah Washington]

"I know." Noah replied quietly, keeping his gaze away from her for the time being.

Still, he was glad she wasn't carrying any ill feelings towards him. He let the words settle in his mind as she moved away, turning his attention up towards the sky again as he leaned back on his hands. "Yeah, I know." He said. He hadn't stopped thinking about it this whole time. It was hard enough to come to terms with the decision he'd just made, let alone be reminded of it. Still, Noah squeezed her hand lightly as a sign of comfort. At least she was trying to understand where he was coming from.

"I don't think she'll move." He replied. He'd wanted to ask her, but he knew there was no point. "It's hard, y'know? She lives in the house my dad used to live in. Moving away is like giving up on all that." Noah knew that could have sounded harsh, but it was the unfortunate truth. "Listen, don't worry so much about it. It's my problem... I'll figure it out somehow."

[Valerie Danner]

Valerie looked down at her knees and smiled softly at his simple response. He sounded sad though. But that was probably just her mind assuming things that wasn't even there.

When he responded to her suggestion, she nodded, not knowing what else to do or say. She sort of understood what moving away would entail but she had to put her mind at ease. She just hoped his mother understood that this decision of his was that exactly, his.

"I can't help myself." She shrugged, reaching a hand to pat his foot. "I know you will. I just need you to know that I'm going to be here, giving you pretty useless suggestions for the rest of your life." She teased, shaking his leg lightly. "And you have to deal with it." She said in a sing song voice, wanting to lighten the mood a little.

[Noah Washington]

"Oh good, something to look forward to." Noah replied with a small laugh. Though he couldn't help but find himself snagged on what she'd said. That she was going to be around for the rest of his life. Given her recent statement about thinking a break up was on the cards, he was relieved to hear her talk about them as if they were a long-term thing.

"Seriously though, I never thought I'd panic so hard about graduating." He admitted, exhaling with an exhausted laugh. He ran his hand over his face idly, feeling the strain of a lack of sleep the more he sat down and took the time to relax. "I almost wish I failed. I would have had a whole new year to try and fail at planning out my future. But for now, I know I want to be here. I have work, and friends. And you. I have a family waiting but... I've gotta grow up at some point. I guess." He shook his head as he looked down slightly. That probably sounded really stupid, but it was all true.

[Valerie Danner]

"You love it." Valerie grinned, her thumb lazily circling the back of Noah's hand. In all honesty, she was just glad he didn't seem to think she was something temporary in his life. At least it didn't look like it. And hopefully, whatever she was capable of doing - or not doing for that matter - would not make him run away.

"Yeah?" She tilted her head slightly to look at him, letting him continue. She had to look away when he mentioned he had her - part of her felt it an accomplishment and part of her felt somewhat embarrassed for herself for feeling that way. Once she was sure he was finished, Valerie crept a little closer but kept far enough away so he wouldn't feel too suffocated by her presence.

"I'm glad you came to this point in your life." She said, not adding the fact that she was also glad she got to see him at oen of his shining moments. "And frankly, I can't see you failing. I mean yeah sure you suck at trying to impress me," she rolled her eyes through her bold faced lie. "But seriously, I'm not even surprised you're going to graduate." She shrugged, a small grin appearing on her face.

"And right now. Baby boy, right now...let's just not think too far into the future where you'll probably jet off to a foreign country and live your dreams as an Olympiad or a world famous singer songwriter. I just want you here." She gave a small smile in his direction. "Are you here with me now?"

[Noah Washington]

Oh, how Noah wished he had failed. If only to give himself a little more time to work everything out. He never wanted to feel the way he had again - the uncertainty and unknowing aspects of the future were daunting. Terrifying. He should have been better prepared. He should have used his time better. He should have set himself up more appropriately when he had the chance.

But he didn't, and he was annoyed at himself for that.

At her request, he tried his best to mentally shake those thought and doubts from his mind. Because it wasn't doing him any good dwelling on the past either, let alone trying to stare out into the future. He just didn't like feeling so unprepared. But where his mind was, he couldn't really say. Was he there with her now?

"I guess I am."

[Valerie Danner]

Valerie gave Noah a small smile when he responded. He sounded hesitant, something she hadn’t been prepared to hear. It didn’t stop her from leaning forward and pressing her lips against his, wanting to get some sort of reaction from the otherwise seemingly listless boy.

If she were honest with herself, this uncertainty that had been bugging her for a while now should have already been settling down. She should know that the boy liked her at least. Enough to still be with her and to stay. Sure, it was egotistical to think he was staying for her but she was certain that at least one factor of him staying was her. Otherwise he wouldn’t have asked that question when they were on the phone.

“More than enough.” She nodded with a grin and a soft kiss on his forehead. And as she turned around to adjust herself so that she was once again leaning against his front, she wondered if that was to reassure him or more for herself.

[Wrap]