I need some emotional support

[Travis Morgan]

Hey guys..

So, some stuff just went down. I'm one of the founders of a start-up entertainment company, and today at our Founders Meeting, two of our founders just left the company. One of them left because his family pulled their financial support and he has to go live with his parents. One of them left because he just doesn't like our company head (who is also one of my girlfriends). And he wasn't really nice about it either.

He basically told her that she was too emotional, and that she was manipulative, and just bad at leading in general (which is a load of crap, because she's managed keep our 20+ crew members together, and being productive, for over a year now with no pay. Tell me that's bad leadership.) He also told us that tensions have been growing among the crew for upwards of six months, and that several people have come to him and said they were about to leave the company as well. When asked for more specific information, he said "I'm done" and walked out.

Now, I don't really have a problem with this guy not getting along with my girlfriend.. but the subtext of what he said sounded an awful lot like "You're a woman in power, and I have a penis. Therefore, I think you're a raging bitch." That might not be entirely fair of me, but that's what it felt like. This just happened literally thirty minutes ago, and I'm feeling ever so slightly blindsided... and just a little betrayed.

We've always had an open door policy. If there are problems, we expect people to voice them. The fact that my crew apparently doesn't have enough faith or respect for us to tell us when we're irritating them is just *flail* I don't know. I don't even know how I feel right now. It's hard not to take it personally when someone attacks my girlfriend's character. I'm pissed off, and sad, and.. literally shaking right now.

I hope what I'm saying makes sense. My head is full of chaos. We detected some tension last week, and we had an open discussion about it at our team meeting, and I thought everything was cool. Maybe.. ugh. I don't know! We've been running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get funding so we can take care of our team! It's more than loosing members, at this point. We've been working together for a long time now, and it feels an awful lot like loosing friends.. or even family.

I don't know what I expect any of you to say about it, but all of my real life friends are part of the company.. so I don't have anyone else to talk to. I just need a little support.

[Dr. Sean Neville]

I am very sorry that you, your girlfriend, and the company are going through this, Van. If you ever want to talk or vent about it, I am here for you, and I am told that I am a good listener.

[Dryope *]

Sean is a good listener. If you need to talk to someone he is great.

That sounds like a difficult situation! Entrepreneurship is so hard, especially when you have clashing personalities like that, but I hope your company can ride this out and come back stronger than ever. But you have my sympathies, as does your girlfriend. That's no fun at all.

[Luxanna Viera]

It's kind of hard to not be objective about this, I have to admit. At least for myself, seeing as we only know your side of the story. But I can tell you as much as this; If your friend decided to leave the company as easy as that, you're probably better without. From what you've told, it didn't really seem like he even cared about sorting things out. It seems like a typical ultimatum; Either she goes or I go. And honestly, that's kind of pathetic. When people work together like this, they have to stay proffessional and keep petty opinions such as that either to theirself or grow up and work the problems out.

Yes, I do understand that these people are like a family to you, and that you're upset. But it's sort of part of the deal. If you start up something like this with people that are close to you, it often lead to problems.

And the whole ''He also told us that tensions have been growing among the crew for upwards of six months, and that several people have come to him and said they were about to leave the company as well.'', that's probably the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. If he cared that much, he would have told you about the tension six months ago, and not right before he was about to leave. If anything, he's being a hypcrite when he calls out your girlfriend on her mistakes, because obviously, he has a lot of them himself. If he truly cared about the company and wanted to better it, he would have done something about it instead of sitting on his ass whining about what he doesn't like.

People can be replaced, even him. So trust me when I say that you're better off without him, and he'll probably regret his decision later. If your girlfriend is truly doing a good job like you say she is, it's all on him. His loss.

What I suggest you guys do, is to talk to each and one of the crew members and ask if they have any problems or concerns and take it from there.

[Clement Evans]

Van, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this sort of situation. I cannot empathize, having never been part of a startup or business on that level, but I feel for you and understand how difficult and frustrating dealing with a group can be.

*hugs*

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry things went down like that, Van!

I imagine it must be hard for you right now, but I'm in agreement with Mel. When working in a company or job, there's a certain level of professionalism that must be maintained. My honest opinion is that it doesn't matter how much you like or dislike a person, regardless if they are valid points, blowing up at a person like that shows that lack of professionalism. And lack of maturity. Especially if he's leaving simply because he doesn't like one person. That doesn't make sense.

It sounds to me like he was just throwing a childish tantrum. And his problem may not even be about your girlfriend at all. That's one thing I've noticed in my experience is that people tend to use other, less valid reasons as an excuse to blow up about other things going on. The fact that he couldn't give you specifics and simply ended the conversation alludes to this.

But these are only my conjectures based on what you given. I wasn't there, but I'm so sorry that you were. It's frustrating when someone attacks you like that(I know from personal experience) and shocking for those who witness it. I'm not going to say things are going to be Ok, but things definitely will change, hopefully for the better. If you ever need to talk/vent etc, I'm available for that as well. ^^

[Travis Morgan]

Thanks everybody, your words mean a lot to me.

I honestly think our company will survive this. At any rate, having less people will make it easier to get funding... The people who left weren't pulling their weight anyway. The problem is that this company started as a school project, and we were pressured to fill out our ranks ( to give credability to what we were doing). then the president of the school decided not to fund us after we'd put a butt load of work into it, and the crew decided they wanted to do it anyway. At which point we were overstaffed with kids who weren't even half way through their collage program yet.

Frankly I'm more upset about loosing a friend I thought I had. Granted, he may not have any problems with me. He was just starting to open up to me, and he was sort of like my "guy friend". Having a weird gender identity, it was realy significant for me to have a friend who was actually biologically male and who treated me like one of the guys. Usually boys just see me as some weird chick in drag, and they treat me differently. So.. I'm pretty dissapointed by this. Because I can't continue being friends with him after he straight-up dissed my girlfriend. I just can't. I thought he was better than that, and aparently I was wrong.

Leaves me feeling a bit naive.

But thank you everyone for your support. You're all wonderful, and I love all of you!