Not that strong ( Tag: Dean )

[Benton Barrett]

"Uncool?" He asked, smiling wide as he speared another mouthful of pasta. Pasta that he was going to enjoy, because that's what he needed. Distractions. Little ones, at least. "Sounds more like you're concerned I might make you look old and boring by comparison. And I could definitely take you in video games. It's just the way things are - the teenagers always beat the adults at video games." He was teasing, of course - because despite the fact that Dean was older, he made Benny feel comfortable. That was worth a lot, given his current situation. He hoped, desperately, that it wasn’t just Dean’s power holding his own emotions in check… but he didn’t know how his ability worked.

He blinked, though, at his warning. Anyone who was a former student had to know what was what – Benny didn’t really get how the training was supposed to work. He just assumed that someone would show up, and they’d talk about how stuff worked. Hell, he didn’t know, maybe there was already someone on staff who could do what he did, and then it worked out all nice and good for him.

“I’ll keep that in mind. And hey, don’t act like I’m not a whiner. I’m fairly certain I met you today because of a good bit of whining.” He replied, not against a little self-depreciating humor. You had to be able to laugh at yourself, and all that. He chewed, casually, on another bite, as Dean reached out. There was a moment of hesitation, and Benny tensed up – but didn’t flinch. It didn’t startle him – Dean had given him enough of a silent warning to just get ready for it. It was obvious that he had no desire to hurt anyone, accidentally or otherwise.

Until he figured out how to deal with it, flinching away from unexpected contact was the best thing to do. He didn’t know what would happen if he didn’t.

Benny’s brows furrowed a little bit, as dean hummed. He didn’t know people really did that when they were thinking. It happened on TV, of course, because they had to do that sort of thing. But real people? He couldn’t stop himself from having an amused smile. It was actually kind of endearing, when it was someone who wasn’t doing it in a dramatic, extended way. He was clearly actually humming because that’s why he did it.

His words, though… his words were superficial on top. But considering the way his power worked – how hard it had to be on him to make that decision, when it could very well backfire on him some days? ( And likely did! ) He still got out there and had a life. He refused to live alongside the world, and dove right in, instead. That was not something Benny expected, nor did he really know how to put that in perspective. Until it flicked, like a light bulb in his head.

Hope.

He could have hope. Because he didn’t have to push the world away to keep everyone else safe. Once he had control, once he could make sure that he wouldn’t hurt anyone else by accident? He could rejoin the world at large. He could become a new form of ‘normal.’ Where this weirdness didn’t mark him as different, or dangerous. Just a person with a quirk.

‘Warm and Fuzzy’ was an emotion, right?

“You know, you’re really good at this, right?”

[Dean Rexford]

"It might be that, wait, are you a mind reader?" Dean narrowed his eyes and pointed an accusing finger at Benny. "Don't lie to me, I would actually sense if you are." He joked before dropping the act.

The recruiter gave a small huff of laughter at Benny's self-depracating joke. He had been guilty of those himself so he didn't quite fault Benny for doing the same. Laugh at yourself and the world laughs with you or something to that effect, right?

The tensing was expected and Dean didn't mind. He got over things fairly quickly, thankfully.

Not thinking twice about the little frown Benny gave him, Dean launched into his little spiel. What Benny responded with made Dean tilt his head in confusion. "Hmm?"

[Benton Barrett]

Could anyone blame him for blinking? Dean was a good actor, it seemed - though Benny's smile never faded. When Dean's facade fell, Benny couldn't help but laugh with him again. He finished his plate, and though he could probably make another pass, he decided against it. He didn't want to be too full. That feeling always sucked.

Instead, he propped his elbows on the table, and leaned forward, pushing his tray out of the way with his forearms.

"You're good at the whole 'making people feel better' thing. Not just the power - though that's probably a really big help. But, so far you've said the right thing like three times. If this were a video game, I'd think you were cheating so you could get to the good ending." He snickered a little bit.

"I mean - you're right. It's stupid to hide away. I mean, that's the whole point of this place, isn't it? So that we don't have to hide? Or... maybe, so we can blend better. Either way, you're not supposed to just wall yourself off." he shrugged, softly. "I've been doing that since I found out what I could do. I don't let people touch me if I can help it, and I definitely don't like to touch anyone else."

He scratched his chin with the back of his thumbnail, unthinkingly giving Dean a thumb's up. "You're just good at this, is all. I'm hoping that when you go home, your power won't wear off, and I won't flip out again." For all he knew, his moderately introspective mood was all a byproduct of Dean holding his emotions in check.

Therein lied the problem with powers you couldn't see. Never knew when they were on or off.

[Dean Rexford]

The smile on Dean's face softened and he shrugged modestly, his cheeks heating up just a little. He liked to believe that he had that calming effect even without his own powers and apparently, Benny thought so too! Although...

"Well, I haven't used my powers since we stepped into the canteen. So this is all you, buddy." He waved in Benny's general direction with an encouraging smile.

Dean nodded at Benny's deduction, glad he saw what Dean felt. Not many of the students felt that way. Heck, not many teachers felt that way about Hammel. He always held out hope that he would be able to encourage at least one of his own recruits to feel that. Benny was a huge help to that ego boost though.

"Don't worry about it too much. I think you're relaxing all on your own. To be perfectly honest, I think you just needed a listening ear and a full stomach." He responded, passing it up to a mere fluke on his part.

[Benton Barrett]

Dean was selling himself short – but, Benny suspected it wasn’t the kind that was of sale that was designed to get him more complements. No – the slight redness in his face indicated he was pleased, but not gloating. Then of course, Dean let slip that he hadn’t been using his power at all since they arrived in the cafeteria. That actually surprised the smaller guy, his eyes widening just a little bit.

But… that was a good thing, right? It meant he wasn’t going nuts right now – he was focused on other things.

He smiled a little bit, at Dean, “Canteen?” He asked, mostly in a teasing voice. It was a British-ism he was guessing, but it didn’t make it any less easy to tease. Was it rude? Possibly, but he was mostly just appealing to the fact that he was definitely warming up to Dean. He was a teacher… official… whatever. But that was beside the point. He’d been there for Benny, when he needed someone, and that automatically stuck Dean in the ‘friend’ category, regardless of the age difference.

Letting out a breath, Benny nodded a bit in agreement. “Yeah – you’re probably right. But I’m not going to turn down magic Xanax or anything.” He rubbed the back of his head a little bit. “But the ear and the food? Definitely helpful.” He added, looking down at his once-again empty plate. Had he really eaten it all that fast? He just remembered getting up and getting it!

“I’m glad. I have to say, I thought I was done with the panic attacks. But… I guess you can never be completely done with stuff like that, huh?” He shrugged. “It’s cool, though. I made a new friend – or at least, I consider you a friend now, but I’m not gonna force myself on you or anything like that.” He grinned. “I’d be unable to stop myself from beating you in video games.”

Benny was contemplating thirds. Jeez.

“So what made you decide you wanted to be a recruiter? I mean, it’s not exactly the kind of thing you want to do when you’re a kid. I wanted to be an astronaut. Kind of want to be an EMT – or did. What about you?” He was curious as to where he fell on the spectrum of recruitment.

[Dean Rexford]

He could feel Benny's scrutinising glance at him but he chose to ignore it, though his cheeks did heat up a little at the attention.

At being caught saying something un-American, Dean laughed a little and shrugged. "Cafeteria just doesn't...taste right in my mouth." As if to make his point, Dean stuck his tongue out and made a face before chuckling in embarrassment. And he was supposed to be the adult in this.

Dean couldn't help but chuckle at being described as a magical Xanax. It wasn't far from the truth, was it? "Well, I'm glad I could help you out." He nodded as he tilted his head sideways as if to say "You're welcome."

The hunger coming from Benton made Dean's stomach rumble a little. Empathy pangs, he called it. He patted his stomach and looked up at Benny in time to hear his statement. "Oh, dude...you never get over things like that. I'm really sorry to say." Dean chuckled sympathetically. "I mean you can definitely try and you will succeed most times in your life but triggers are everywhere, unfortunately. You just have to make sure you're prepared not to let it get in your way in the future." He shrugged.

"Aww," Dean couldn't help but coo a little. How could he not? The young guy considered him a friend! "Oh you wish. And uh...why don't we split the next serving of lasagna? Nobody looks to be wanting anymore." He pointed out, looking at Benny inquisitively.

"Oh! Well...no. I grew up wanting to be a doctor. I'd spend hours with my kid brother, patching him up with waterproof plasters and wrapping him up in bandages and giving him an eye examination." Dean laughed at the memory. "But I think it's all got to do with nostalgia. And my own personal experience with my recruiter. He was such a jolly old man and made me feel so comfortable with him.

"And well, there's always a shortage of recruiters so that definitely helped me pick my career choice." Dean explained with a small grin. "I just want to be able to make a difference. As cliched as that sounds."

[Benton Barrett]

Benny couldn't stop himself from laughing, though because he was mid-sip, he very nearly splattered water all down his front. So, there was that. He hadn't been expecting Dean to make a face to go along with his little explanation as to why he was calling a cafeteria a canteen - but it had been hilarious, so that worked out well enough? He rubbed at his now-wet chin with the back of his hand, still smiling despite the mess he almost made all over himself. He'd have to come up with a way to get Dean back for that, even if it hadn't been his intent.

Benny nodded, in response to Dean. Honestly, he was pretty glad Dean had been able to help as well. It would have... sucked, been running down that road again.

Of course, Dean was showing his secret psychology knowledge again - pointing out that Benny would never be rid of them. A sigh passed between his lips, and Benny, unfortunately, had to agree. Though they had come fewer and farther between, he doubted they'd ever go away permanently, no matter what the boy wanted to do. He could go back on medication... but that wouldn't keep him sane. Not forever.

"It's hard. When it happens, I just... I can't think, you know? I just lose it. So when something happens, and then I have an attack, it's just... it's next to impossible to not. You know?" He rubbed the back of his neck, looking thoughtfully down at his plate, as though the answers were sitting there in front of him. "I'd like to learn how to stop them - or at least cope with them. If you hadn't been there today? I would have run." He replied, shaking his head.

When Dean offered to split thirds, it was like he'd been reading Benny's mind. Or... well, hey, maybe hunger was an emotion? His face warmed a little bit, but he nodded. "That is totally a plan. I'm still hungry. Ugh, as if I didn't eat too much already." Because teenagers were in a constant state of consuming something.

While Dean reminisced, Benny watched him, an amused smile on his face. It was sweet, the way he recounted the tale of how he and his brother used to play doctor ( in a completely non-creepy way ) though his dream changed as his life did. He didn't know if his expectations should change, too.

"Nah, it's not cliche. I mean, it is, but not for that reason. If it weren't you guys recruiting us, it'd be someone worse. Someone with guns, I expect. After all, this isn't exactly voluntary. So I'd much rather guys like you and Milan round us up, you know?" He said, simply. "I was looking into maybe going in to emergency medicine. My dad's a nurse, and he's pretty much amazing. I don't know how that's going to work now, since I might suck the heat out of a patient..." He shrugged.

"But that's for later. After I've learned how to control it." If he could.

[Dean Rexford]

Dean always felt pleased with himself whenever he managed to get someone to laugh, even at his expense really. And Benny had been a little frazzled before. To see him laughing was a huge achievement to the recruiter, however sad that may sound.

He felt sort of bad that he had to throw that piece of nugget at Benny. He had basically told him it was pointless to fight it, which wasn't true at all. There would be a time when all it took was the right word and the right setting for a breath of fresh air to hit him in the face and make him forget everything was ever bad to begin with. It was going to take hard work for sure but rainbows don't come out until there was some rain, right?

As Benny fumbled through his explanations, Dean nodded, knowing exactly what the boy meant. He could feel everything clearly but he had been through that himself too. The hard days were...definitely hard.

"You'll get there eventually." Dean said with determination in his voice.

Benny's blush made Dean grin sheepishly. Had it been a bad move on his part? Ah, apparently not. "Aw come on, you could use a little extra, especially given that you have such an active power. Too much is never enough." Dean teased with a chuckle.

Dean listened to Benny's rather dark twist to recruitment but couldn't help agreeing a little. Glad Benny changed the subject, Dean leaned forward to show his interest and smiled.

"A few months in here, you'll be handling it like a pro." Dean promised. It was a dangerous thing to do but he wanted to give the younger meta a little bit of hope. Even a cynic can change his thoughts one way or another. Right?

"So how about that third slice, eh?" He grinned widely, gesturing to the tray of probably now lukewarm lasagna.

[Wrap? Continue? Whaaaatchu want]