Jonnay's little corner of writing
Jul 27, 2014 3:23:40 GMT -5
Post by Salem Hirch on Jul 27, 2014 3:23:40 GMT -5
so...I dunno..I felt like writing a thing..so I am. I may add more when/if inspiration hits.
((Trigger warnings: talks of suicide, depression and underage drinking))
His eyesight had finally come back and the world seem so bright that it hurt as Salem blinked in the morning sun that trickled through his blinds. Everything still hurt, his head, his body; everything. He started to wonder if someone could get bruises on their soul. He started to count his "soul bruises" as he slowly set up.
First, Cam. One of his dearest friends, and his first kiss. His first taste of anything that made him feel that way. Oh, Salem knew Cam was a lost cause, but that didn't stop his heart from yearning a little for him. So maybe that bruise was self inflicted. And every time he saw Matty, he felt guilty.
Second, Carter. He trusted him, believed that the rumors he heard about the boy couldn't be true. Why did he think that? Why did he have to fall so hard? Why did he let Carter take him? So many questions just raced through his already weak mind and he fumbled for a bottle near his bed. Salem had gone out and stolen a bottle of whiskey from a nearby store and was determined to drink the whole thing. Chugging it some, he started his list back up.
Three, Kales and Tony. This one he just didn't understand. It didn't really effect him directly, so why did it still hurt him? He wasn't even mad at Anthony anymore, and he was pretty sure he had helped Kales move on at least some. Maybe he was feeling guilty for yelling at everyone the other day to leave, but he needed it. He wanted to be alone...even if it wasn't the best idea. A hollow space started to grow in Salem's stomach. Technically it had been there awhile, but the blonde youth was just starting to feel it.
It hurt whatever it was; it hurt and yet Salem felt numb. He wanted to feel and make the pain go away at the same time. The burning in his throat seemed to help some. Finally, he managed to pull himself out of the bed and groaned. The next "soul bruise" drifted to his brain and he froze. It was the hardest hit of all.
Four, Aiden. Just thinking his name made Salem want to cry, but his tears were all gone now. His blue eyes peered in his bathroom mirror and the young man didn't see himself, he just saw nothing. Five feet, six inches of nothing. Pressing his lips and tilting the bottle back, he realized it was empty, somehow this made him fairly angry and slammed the bottle to the floor, sending glass everywhere. Some of it cutting into his legs.
Salem almost ignore the cuts until he realized, they felt good...they made everything stop. His head wasn't pounding and his heart didn't feel like it was about to explode. Or implode. Salem never knew which one of those was correct to use. Then the pain and numbness came back, the cuts were only minor at best, so the pain didn't last long. Turning, he strolled out of the bathroom in only his boxers. It was early enough in the morning that no one would be around, not that he cared anymore.
Walking out his dorm, he started to head upstairs, only pausing at two doors. One, was Kailin's. He put his hand on the wood and tapped his finger, not loud enough for anyone to hear, but still did. "Sorry Goldielocks, hope you forgive me..." With that he turned and headed to the boys dorm. His only stop there was Anthony's old room. Knowing his best friend wasn't there stung a little, so he just stared at the door that he knocked on so many times, then kept moving.
Climbing even more stairs, the boys brain trailed over the images of his other friends faces. Smiling at all of them as they faded in and out of frame.
More stairs.
Salem was on the roof now, well a flat section of the roof used for maintenance and such. Once again, he didn't really care what it was for, or why it was there. His feet crunched against the gravel as he made slow, even steps and two faces appeared in his head, side by side. Aiden, and Anthony. His brother and his "brother". Stinging in his eyes was his only indication that he was crying. Salem's heart flickered for a moment as he thought of a million things all at once, his head started to pound.
He was so angry and confused and wondered why he hadn't said things to certain people. Like telling Anthony how he really felt, how he cared for Tony as more than a friend. Of course he knew his Solider Ant didn't feel the same or would ever, but maybe it would have felt better to get it off his chest.
"Too late..." Salem whispered. A single tear strolled down his cheek as he stepped to the edge of the roof. As the sun rose higher, he spread his arms out as if to hug it and ever so gently leaned forward. The last thing he would ever remember was that feeling of pure freedom as he fell.
((Trigger warnings: talks of suicide, depression and underage drinking))
Summertime Sadness
a semi-noncanon Salem ficlet
a semi-noncanon Salem ficlet
His eyesight had finally come back and the world seem so bright that it hurt as Salem blinked in the morning sun that trickled through his blinds. Everything still hurt, his head, his body; everything. He started to wonder if someone could get bruises on their soul. He started to count his "soul bruises" as he slowly set up.
First, Cam. One of his dearest friends, and his first kiss. His first taste of anything that made him feel that way. Oh, Salem knew Cam was a lost cause, but that didn't stop his heart from yearning a little for him. So maybe that bruise was self inflicted. And every time he saw Matty, he felt guilty.
Second, Carter. He trusted him, believed that the rumors he heard about the boy couldn't be true. Why did he think that? Why did he have to fall so hard? Why did he let Carter take him? So many questions just raced through his already weak mind and he fumbled for a bottle near his bed. Salem had gone out and stolen a bottle of whiskey from a nearby store and was determined to drink the whole thing. Chugging it some, he started his list back up.
Three, Kales and Tony. This one he just didn't understand. It didn't really effect him directly, so why did it still hurt him? He wasn't even mad at Anthony anymore, and he was pretty sure he had helped Kales move on at least some. Maybe he was feeling guilty for yelling at everyone the other day to leave, but he needed it. He wanted to be alone...even if it wasn't the best idea. A hollow space started to grow in Salem's stomach. Technically it had been there awhile, but the blonde youth was just starting to feel it.
It hurt whatever it was; it hurt and yet Salem felt numb. He wanted to feel and make the pain go away at the same time. The burning in his throat seemed to help some. Finally, he managed to pull himself out of the bed and groaned. The next "soul bruise" drifted to his brain and he froze. It was the hardest hit of all.
Four, Aiden. Just thinking his name made Salem want to cry, but his tears were all gone now. His blue eyes peered in his bathroom mirror and the young man didn't see himself, he just saw nothing. Five feet, six inches of nothing. Pressing his lips and tilting the bottle back, he realized it was empty, somehow this made him fairly angry and slammed the bottle to the floor, sending glass everywhere. Some of it cutting into his legs.
Salem almost ignore the cuts until he realized, they felt good...they made everything stop. His head wasn't pounding and his heart didn't feel like it was about to explode. Or implode. Salem never knew which one of those was correct to use. Then the pain and numbness came back, the cuts were only minor at best, so the pain didn't last long. Turning, he strolled out of the bathroom in only his boxers. It was early enough in the morning that no one would be around, not that he cared anymore.
Walking out his dorm, he started to head upstairs, only pausing at two doors. One, was Kailin's. He put his hand on the wood and tapped his finger, not loud enough for anyone to hear, but still did. "Sorry Goldielocks, hope you forgive me..." With that he turned and headed to the boys dorm. His only stop there was Anthony's old room. Knowing his best friend wasn't there stung a little, so he just stared at the door that he knocked on so many times, then kept moving.
Climbing even more stairs, the boys brain trailed over the images of his other friends faces. Smiling at all of them as they faded in and out of frame.
More stairs.
Salem was on the roof now, well a flat section of the roof used for maintenance and such. Once again, he didn't really care what it was for, or why it was there. His feet crunched against the gravel as he made slow, even steps and two faces appeared in his head, side by side. Aiden, and Anthony. His brother and his "brother". Stinging in his eyes was his only indication that he was crying. Salem's heart flickered for a moment as he thought of a million things all at once, his head started to pound.
He was so angry and confused and wondered why he hadn't said things to certain people. Like telling Anthony how he really felt, how he cared for Tony as more than a friend. Of course he knew his Solider Ant didn't feel the same or would ever, but maybe it would have felt better to get it off his chest.
"Too late..." Salem whispered. A single tear strolled down his cheek as he stepped to the edge of the roof. As the sun rose higher, he spread his arms out as if to hug it and ever so gently leaned forward. The last thing he would ever remember was that feeling of pure freedom as he fell.
