Scenes From A Soap Opera (Caelum)

[Deleted]

Zach felt like he was doing a lot better these days. His concentration had improved considerably, and he didn't feel the need to call up Kai every time he wanted to go somewhere...though half of that reason was probably because he was already practically living with the younger man. Nights where Zach slept at home often turned into late night conversations of reassurance, or midnight requests to come get him and take him to Kai's high scale apartment anyway. So it was just easier to stay over there, especially since the semester had started again.

That didn't mean that Zach didn't come to Pilot Ridge every so often to visit his family. And do a little bit of shopping for them so that Aura and Mother could prepare supper for the Bishop lot. He hadn't come to the grocery-mart alone, however, though his little brother and sister had split from him the moment they'd arrived to go hunt down their own separate lists. They'd meet back up at the front later.

Zach had started in the produce section, and from there was weaving through the aisles towards the middle, where he would hopefully meet up with his younger siblings. It was when he turned the corner to go into the first aisle, however, that he came just short of running into another person who was rounding the opposite way. Luckily, he managed to stop and back-step in time to avoid a collision(he'd done that too many times in the past to want to have it happen again, if he could avoid it). However, when he looked up to apologize to the other customer, Zach froze, his face paling and mouth left agape. "Caelum...!" he breathed.

Again...he felt like his life was being treated like some sort of soap opera...because that's the only place where such coincidences happened. Zach could already hear the dramatic music playing in the background as he awaited the other man's reaction.

[Caelum Mitchellson]

He needed to get out of the house, right then. It had been weeks since he'd done anything besides go to school, but even then it was straight to his classes then straight home and to his room. Even his dear roommates were left in the dark as to what had happened to their bug boy. Besides the fact that his head was still reeling over what had happened with Kai, he had been neglecting his own needs. Mostly those of the mental variety. Which is the other reason he left the house. He needed to pick up his prescription. Well, not needed, he didn't really want to take them anymore, but he was just so tired of being in this funk.

After retrieving said medication, Caelum decided to pop in the store for some actually needed ice cream and frozen pizzas. His supply had been sufficiently diminished by the recent events and he was in desperate need of their own brand of fat and sugar filled happiness. Those were not the only things he planned on getting, and he even decided to wander the store for a bit, looking for anything that looked like a good sappy movie night snack. When he turned onto the first aisle of the store, he was almost slammed into by someone. At first, the man with the moth wings did not pay this any attention, and in fact was fully prepared just to turn the other way, when he heard his name and he froze.

The moment he heard the gasp, he knew exactly who it was standing in front of him and his heart sank. That overwhelming feeling of guilt and shame came flooding back to him and he wanted to run, to get away, but that was probably the worst idea he'd had in awhile. Instead he slowly peeked his eyes up through his hair and looked at Zach. His dear friend whom he betrayed, whether he meant to or not, he still felt that way. "Oh, um...hi Zach." He finally managed to say. The pranksters voice actually sounded different to himself, and he wondered if it had really been that long since he spoke, or if his voice was really projecting how he felt.

"It...it's um..well...um..How are you?" Stumbling over his words was also not common for him, but he noticed the look on Zach's face and had to think he was feeling just as awkward about this as he was, if not more. Maybe Zach was angry with him, and he had every right to be, but he really hoped they were still friends.

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Zach wasn't angry with Caelum. Not in the least. On the contrary, Zach thought that Caelum was the one who was angry. After all, Zach was the one who stole....

It was so ridiculous to think about! Zach and Kai weren't together anymore, not at that time, so Kai was free to date whomever he wanted. Hell, even Zach had gone on....one...date....during that period. So it was perfectly all right that Kai and Caelum were seeing each other. Going out...talking...having se--

When he found out, it'd nearly driven him mad with jealousy. The idea that Zach had blown it completely and that the man he'd fallen in love with was now unavailable was just too much to take. So...Zach felt like a despicable person. He felt like he'd forced his way back into Kai's life. Forced his way between Kai and Caelum and whatever relationship they'd been building up until then. Zach felt guilty for doing that to Caelum...but he just couldn't give Kai up...to anyone. No matter what.

That's where his own awkward feelings were coming from. Utter guilt for being the cause of so much distress for someone who was supposed to be his friend. And a good friend too! They'd known each other since high school, Zach was like a second big brother to his little sister Jen.

Zach retreated into himself, meek and unsure of how Caelum was going to react to his...friend...suddenly appearing before him out of nowhere. Zach managed a smile that reflected his complicated feelings. "Hey..." he said meekly. "I'm, uh...good. Doing good." Zach nodded, and nodded more. More than necessary. He stopped. "You?" His eyes darted up to meet with Caelum's...then quickly shot to the bag of potato chips on the shelf beside him. "It's been a while...hadn't it?" Riveting conversation, fellas.

[Caelum Mitchellson]

In a bit of nervous jittering, Caelum pushed down the sleeves on his tragically oversized hoodie, back down his arms. He had his reasons and they were staying his. In some nearby metal, he caught a glimpse of himself as he waited in the awkward moments. He looked more like a hobo than usual and like he hadn't really slept in days. God, what did Zach think seeing this? When he looked back at his friend he had to frown a little. Caelum sure did not like this feeling between them. 

"I'm good, little buddy." He finally managed to give a wary smile, only because he wasn't sure exactly how Zach would react. "Glad to see you doing well, you look...happy." Well, besides the fact he looked almost terrified to see the moth man. For a brief moment, he looked down and shuffled his feet. This...this...whatever it was, was starting to get to him. He wanted to look up and make Zach smile or laugh. This wasn't him, this wasn't the friendship they had. When did life get so freaking complicated?

Then he felt it, that stupid thing that always seemed to happen when he really didn't want it to. Word Vomit. It was coming and there was no way to stop. "Zach, look...I can't stand this awkwardness between us." He frowned and looked down. "I know you probably totes hate me, and I don't blame you, but I didn't know...I really didn't." Well, this was an odd place to have this little mini-breakdown/conversation, but at least it was happening. Trying to keep his voice low, he looked back up and tried to catch Zach's eyes. 

"I, I'm not mad...ya know? I have no reason or right to be." Putting his hand behind his own neck, he rubbed it nervously. "I uh...guess I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry and..." Oh he couldn't believe he was about to say this, even it was 100% true. "I really hope you and Kai are happy together."  Another breath and he looked down again, if this is what being sad all the time felt like, he was definitely going back to his meds. "Oh, and I'll understand if you don't wanna see or talk to me again." 

And in this moment, he was very happy for the invention of the grocery cart, because it made a little barrier between them. Even with his gut wrenching, he wanted to give his friend one last hug, if he could. The wait for a reply was going to be torture. 

[Deleted]

Caelum was…right here. In front of Zach. Why did it have to be today, at this place, when they had to meet up after all this time? It definitely wasn’t that Zach didn’t want to see Caelum. Far from it. He just didn’t know what to expect from the other man. And at the moment, Zach’s mind was running through about 10 different scenarios, all of which ended with Caelum declaring he would never again speak to the young writer.

Zach tried to focus his eyes on the winged man, but every time he tried, they would wander to something else over there, wanting to look every other place except at his friend. If he could even still call him that…

“I…I do?” he replied, some surprise in his voice. Was his nervous face really the look of one who was happy? “I guess so…” Zach figured it resembled something more along the lines of…spitless. The awkward silence fell between them again. Though it didn’t last for long, because Caelum suddenly, without warning, poured out his very soul onto the writer, such that Zach didn’t know where to jump in, if he should jump in, or even how to respond when he was done. But the longer and longer Caelum spoke, the wider Zach’s eyes became, from pure word suffocation.

And then finally, he was finished. And Zach still had no idea what to say. And thus he stood there, staring at Caelum with wide eyes, fixed and unmoving. At least he was looking at Caelum now, and not at the floor or the shelves or passing customers. “Caelum…” he breathed finally. “…I don’t hate you.” First let’s clear up that little misunderstanding. “Why would I hate you? I’m the one who…who deserves to be…” His eyes lowered again, voice trailing off into yet another period of silence, though not nearly as long as before. “….we are happy….but that doesn’t mean that what I did to you was okay.” Another pause. “I’m sorry.” At least the waterfall of words was enough to get things moving between them, for either better or worse, rather than just having them both be silent with each other forever. Maybe there was still some hope that the two of them could be friends? Zach hoped so, and a small smile reflected those inner thoughts of his.

[Caelum Mitchellson]

Glancing around he couldn't help but somewhat smile at the situation. This was something out of a sitcom, or one of his beloved chick flicks. Wait...he smiled. He was happy. Even without his meds, Caelum felt that warmth in his chest that came from actual comfort. Was it because of the openness he had with Zach just now? Or, could it have possibly just have been from being around his friend. Yes, as far as he was concerned Zach definitely still his friend.

He did feel terrible for the sudden chain of words, but luckily Zach kept up. The only reason it happened was simply because Caelum wasn't used to being quiet. But Zach was speaking now and that's what was important. In the other's words, he heard the words he longed to hear. Zach didn't hate him, that was enough for him, but wait...did Zach. "Zach...you..you didn't do anything wrong. And I'm so happy you guys are good." That being said he couldn't think of anything to add. Which was odd for him. His eyes looked around for a moment. There were people walking the aisle and a few glanced their way, but he didn't mind. "I really am happy for you, and please...again...do...not...blame yourself."

Now, he slowly pushed his cart to the side and took a step forward. He was always a bit careful with Zach, especially after the first time they met. What with Caelum almost knocking him unconscious and all. Then, he took another careful step and gently pulled his friend into a hug. This...this he had missed more than anything and would have missed the most had they gone their separate ways. Without really noticing, he began to cry. It was just a little and it was a mix of emotions, but they were there and he hoped Zach didn't notice. After a few moments of a tight bear like hug, he released his little buddy, gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder and stepped back. A sheepish little smile on his face, and his hands in his pockets.

"Sorry, I just...I had to." Caelum took a deep breath and looked right at Zach's face. "For awhile there, I was so scared I was going to lose my best friend. Kinda came out in a 'relief' hug I guess." He added with a little chuckle.

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Someone…or something was definitely messing around with him, he thought, and not for the first time either. How else did it explain why his life felt so much like a cheesy soap opera or a sappy romance novel? Or even a moe anime. Zach had the bad habit of meeting so many people in his life under either the most outrageous of circumstances, such as getting tied up by a bunch of over-excited vines by Maebelle, or the most cliche, such as running into someone when he turned a corner, or backed up, or was overall not watching where he was going…or when they came crashing into him from the sky. Even the tumultuous situation between himself, Kai, Caelum….Jade…Noa…Vanessa…even Kai’s sister, Sera…it all just screamed out to the writer that it was scripted in order to bring the most amount of drama to any single situation involving the lot.

Even the random encounter he was faced with right now, meeting Caelum at the store, as if fate had said ‘okay, this has gone on long enough, time to make up’, and planted the two into the exact circumstance which would get them talking to each other again.

As annoying as it was to think that fate was screwing with him, Zach was thankful for the opportunity. So he let it slide…this time.

Zach sighed, at both those strange thoughts in his head and from the ongoing guilt he felt towards Caelum. “Okay…..still….we shouldn’t have gotten you…mixed up in…in our stupid drama…” It wasn’t stupid, because Zach had learned a lot about himself from it all, but a lot of what happened was just…silly, now that he looked back on it. Who knew Zach was the possessive, easily jealous sort?

The hug was unexpected—no, he expected it as soon as Caelum started rounding the cart, a glistening in his eyes. And besides…this was Caelum they were talking about. The guy felt big. Zach pat his friend on the back when he came in and held it for a moment until Caelum finally decided to pull away. By the end of it, Zach was able to smile up at his old friend. “It’s okay. I’m….me too.” His gaze dropped slightly. “I wasn’t sure if we were ever going to…again…” The sense of relief was a good feeling.

Then a thought occurred to him. “You know…” he started looking up at Caelum in the face with a queer expression. “The more I think about it….the more I realize…this is all really Kai’s fault.” He was the one stringing Caelum along when he still clearly had feelings for Zach. The jerk.

[Caelum Mitchellson]

Jealousy? What was that anyway? It was something mean for teenagers and old married couples, that's what. At least that was the rationalization Caelum was making in his head as he accepted the hug back and had moved away. There was definitely relief yes, but Caelum knew deep down he couldn't forgive himself. Yes, he was happy for both of them. True, he was glad he didn't lose his friend, but...Kai would always mean something to him. This he hated and was very uncertain how to get passed. It was also something he would never, in a million lifetimes, tell Zach. The bug man desperately needed this friendship, more than silly emotions he held for someone. Right?

As the hug ended, Zach went on to show his own signs of relief, in his own...Zach like way. The magic had happened though, there was a smile on his friends face, and that made Caelum feel ten feet tall. That and the fact he was taller than the other anyway. "Oh come on, we would have made up eventually. When have you ever known me to be mad?" Well, he had been mad of course, but like all the Mitchellsons, he was very adapt at hiding it. Along with any other emotions for that matter. Just this once he was finally glad for the way his father and mother had chosen to raise them. At the same time, he realized this could have been what led him to Kai's arms in the first place. That's when a little guilt started to creep it's ugly head back into the picture, but Caelum refused.

Plus, Zach said something that made him almost jump. "Now Zach, come on." He gave him a gentle smile and a bit of a playful nudge to his shoulder. "I don't blame him for what happened. Yes, I wish he would have told me, but I'm looking at is as something in the past." This may or may not have been a partial bold face lie. He did in fact lay a lot of blame on Kai and was angry at him as well. Not so much for what he did to him, but putting Zach through that was a bit much. "But..." Caelum added with an evil little smirk. "If you really feel that way, we could always pull a prank on him. I do have a LOT of pink glitter left."

He over emphasized "lot" far more than he needed to, because his watch beeped. An indication it was time for his medicine. Which, was in his pocket, but still in a pharmacy bag, and he didn't feel like taking it there. He just hoped Zach didn't hear it and remember. Zach was the one and only friend that knew about Caelum's little issue, and since they were doing so well at the moment, he didn't want him to worry.

[Deleted]

It did seem like a pretty foolish and childish emotion.  But jealousy was what made Zach break up with Kai in the first place. And then it was again, what made him try to snag him right back.  Zach didn’t want to share, even though he knew back then he had no real claim over the other man anyway. But, somehow that had been enough for….well, even after that, while he and Kai were something, it still took the writer another couple months to let himself start to trust the younger man again. And then after that, Kai ended up being the only person Zach could come to when he was in distress…while he still refused to put a label on it, it was pretty apparent what the two were to each other. 
 
If Zach had been in a better state of mind during the past several months, he might have attempted to contact Caelum sooner.  But the longer their silence between each other lasted, the harder it was to break, until it seemed like it was just a hopeless fantasy that they could go back to being friends.  It was why Zach was thankful to the fates for setting their meeting up like so, even if he disliked feeling like his life was being played with.  “Well….I guess….” Caelum didn’t get mad, at least not as Zach could remember it.  Maybe that was what made him so worried to begin with?  He’d done something so wrong that even Caelum would’ve gotten pissed at him.  But…even if he didn’t show it…Caelum had to feel something.  He wasn’t a robot, after all.  And the idea that Caelum might be hiding his feelings for the sake of making up made Zach feel even more guilty over the whole ordeal.  He just couldn’t get away from it, could he?

There was one way though. And that was to put all the blame on the real person responsible. It was definitely Kai’s fault, right from the very beginning. If he just…then Zach wouldn’t have…and then Kai wouldn’t have…and then Zach wouldn’t have….. It was an endless cycle, and if you weren’t paying attention then you might miss who started it all, but…. No….Zach should’ve known when to end it, and because of that, Caelum got mixed up in all their drama…

It was still Kai’s fault though.

“A prank?” Zach repeated, confused. “Why….who…I’m not JJ, you know?” When was the last time Zach pulled a prank on someone? Never, that’s when. “And…and to what end? I mean, what good will that do?” Might make him feel better. Might get to see Kai in a hilarious position…but it might also hurt Kai a whole lot, depending on what the prank was. Zach groaned into a sigh. “What did you have in mind?” he asked in a deadpan voice. He’d hear it first, then decide.